If you're talking about language syntax, I would suggest finding a 'cheat sheet' reference or making your own. If you find you have to look up APIs or functions all the time, i'd say that's perfectly normal when starting out, and it's normal and even even after working in a language for awhile.
Also, you're probably doing better than you think! Familiarize yourself with Imposter Syndrome, every programmer I know has experienced it.
It's hard to explain, but basically we create different blocks and use them to build a world of our own in pixel art! You can collect things other people have made and place them elsewhere, create your own blocks to use, or just explore. Right now I think the welcome rings are a bit sparse since only level 5s can build there but if you go to Smalltown level 1+ (anyone logged in) can build.
There's not really a goal per se, it's sort of a mmosandboxthing. :)
I've enjoyed The Deed of Paksenarrion
Elaine Cunningham is also an author I deeply respect; I've got almost all of her Forgotten Realms series.
There's a lot to choose from. Like another has said, what sorts of things are you looking for?