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>And that’s my biggest regret. I continued this relationship knowing it was hurting me but every moment I spent with him all of my loneliness and heartache would disappear and I was in another world , he would tell me he loved me and I truly believed he did .

This resonates big time. I met my primary MM when I was 20, though I was well into a spell of casual sex by then and had ZERO feelings toward him. 9.5 years later I realized we both caught FeFes, and then he finally got caught to make it all worse. So of course he started clinging to me and suggesting he'd leave his wife when I never even asked him to and would have been repulsed by the idea until a few months ago. And still, there were too many red flags. It just didn't sit right. I knew I had to GTFO, but I didn't know how the hell is get the courage to.

At the end of the day, you won't let go until you're ready. Trying to force it will get you nowhere but will leave you looking foolish.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend the bookMr Unavailable & the Fallback Girl: The Definitive Guide to Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men and the Women that Love Them

I can't even begin to tell you how many self help books I read trying to find something, anything, that would hit like a 357 Magnum and leave me mentally with no choice but to get out. This book was the only one that truly sent me over the edge. When I finished it, I knew I was DONE. I went no contact the following week.