Just a thought. If you're interested in things like this, you might want to read The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins which is a seminal work of evolutionary psychology. Things like mate selection are addressed at length.
Remember that you cannot control what others do, say, or think.
If you cannot control something 100%, all you can do is decide how to deal with it. You can train yourself to not care about the stares and comments. Sir Anthony Hopkins said, "Other people's opinions about you are none of your business."
They can think what they want. They don't know who you are. But you do.
I suggest you read A Guide to the Good Life, by William Irvine.
It has helped me immensely.
My suggestion is don’t think if this as a texting issue but instead focus upon your own reaction and how he can reassure you. I will recommend to anyone who will listen, please read the book Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. It explains that there are three basic attachment styles. The dynamic you describe seems to me to be about likely having a a slightly anxious attachment style (no criticism, I identify because I do too and I suffer the same sort of anxiety though I am the older man and my girlfriend is early 20s). If I am correct, once you understand you wool be able to focus on soothing your anxieties in cooperation. I also recommend Hold me tight by Sue Johnson.
https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/031611300X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_zdGFFbV7ABE95
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25 year age gap here. My advice? Go for it. If your man has expressed his desire for you and only you, trust in what he says and in what you two have together. As a good friend of mine told me; “stop mind fucking it.” Get out of your head. I read a book by the title of https://www.amazon.com/Older-Women-Younger-Men-Options/dp/0882822004/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1N7LVOAYM5OPS&keywords=older+women%2C+younger+men+new+options+for+love+and+romance&qid=1665051711&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjM2IiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuM... and it helped me greatly. Best of luck to you.
If, by chance, he does accept an invitation to your place, as soon as you walk in tell him "make yourself at home, I'm going to slip into something a little more comfortable". Come back out wearing this:
SWOMOG Womens Sexy Lingerie Silk Satin Pajamas Cami Shorts Set Sleepwear https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087D32Y88/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_C1EB72GSHHATFYGE9SQS?psc=1
Don't wear anything with lace, don't wear anything more revealing than that, don't wear anything less revealing than that. That exact thing (in the color of your choice).
If he doesn't take the hint or make a move after all that, he's either gay, oblivious, or not interested.
I am 25 years older than my man. In the beginning it really messed with my head as I too never considered being with a younger man much less one so much younger than me. I had/have conversations with my man regularly about this. I also recommend https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0882822004/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1. This was a great book. Unfortunately there aren’t that many resources out there for the older woman/younger man scenario.
Hi again! Just to let you know that Ep 2 is now up in the regular places, including Spotify, youtube, etc. It is an episode of light and darkness, the latter because it centers on a very challenging time in our marriage. But some levity is in the ep, too, we hope! We also thank you guys at the start of it: you have been so welcoming. Thank you! Please give us any feedback, and share if you like it.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1724638/8291109-always-call-mum-on-her-birthday
As far as I'm aware, the only truly reliable data is from the UK Office of National Statistics, which has access to all government data.
May I suggest a nice pocket knife? Like a CJRB Ria or a Civivi Exarch?
Both are remarkably good, under $50, and will last a lifetime.
> I have dated guys older than him and I have seen how empty their lives are with more money. I put an emphasis on financials because I feel like they have nothing else to offer me in the end.
No wonder you're getting unhappy relationships - this is a terrible criterion for picking partners.
If you date guys because they have money then they're always going to have power over you, and if they date you because you're hot and sexy then you are making yourself a depreciating asset - like a car, which is replaced by a newer model when it's got too many miles on the clock.
Elsewhere you say "a man should be able to wait until he’s bored a few years into marriage to get strange … it’s only been a year and a half and we have a very healthy sex life", like you were expecting him to cheat on you at some point, but he spoiled your plans by doing it too soon - before you had the chance to lock in your profits by marrying him?
You might find the book <em>Your Money or Your Life</em> helpful - it's about knowing what you want in life, and making decisions so that money doesn't control you. The same kind of compromises are true of relationships - if you want someone who is honest with you, faithful and who treats you with respect then how much money they have is unrelated to that, and makes for a terribly bad filter.
Not the exact answer to your question, but you might find this book titled Nonviolent Communication helpful. The first step in the process is to actively listen. The best thing is to make your partner feel heard. It's really hard to suppress the desire to "solve" a problem. Often times, the best solution is just to actively listen. This book gives a great process on how to share observations, feelings and needs. And then there is a step on behavior change requests. But often people jump to the last step without going through all of the others. This book and the process is amazing. It'll change your life. I think the answer to your question lies in this process of listening.
Good luck! 🍀
When thinking of your situation and your pattern with men this popped into my head. Have you read the book by Colin Tipping called, “Radical Forgiveness” ? Forget the title, It’s not at all about forgiving in the conventional sense. I’ve read parts of it on multiple occasions but it hits me so hard emotionally that I have to put it down. Many claim that it’s life changing for them. Upon reflection, it’s been healing for me. I think I’ll pick it up again...
Good luck!
Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft.
Read it.
I'll be blunt. He is a manipulative d-bag. I was there. I know the signs.
I also know the struggle. He has likely isolated you from family and friends over time to limit your support structure. Your self esteem is so low that you believe him when he says no one else would ever put up with "x" behavior. OR if you leave, it is proof you have been using him the entire time while looking for something better.
I hope to God I am wrong, but just in case I hit a few chords, here is a link to the book on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_me-3FbZ00CBC7
Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance https://www.amazon.com/dp/0882822004/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_9LsfFbQBGM8PD
This is the only one that I’m aware of. It’s pretty dated. But I read it years ago when I was trying to better understand my attraction to younger guys.