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![By James T. Webb Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope (1st First Edition) [Paperback]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51Mm2nY2bXL._SL500_.jpg)
The most popular Services mentioned in /r/Gifted:
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Academia.edu
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The most popular reviews in /r/Gifted:
Trop intelligent pour être heureux ? L'adulte surdoué by Jeanne Siaud-Facchin
Unfortunately I don't think there is an English version... the title translates to "Too intelligent to be happy? The gifted adult".
Tant mieux :) In that case I would absolutely recommend L'adulte surdoué by Monique de Kermadec instead. I really like her writing style and general outlook a lot better, and tbh I think the first book I linked might not be as reliable in terms of scientific accuracy. Both are worth the read though, and super clarifying!
I was recommended this book by a psychologist
https://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/0910707642
I just started it but I think it’ll be a pretty helpful read. May help you with combatting the sensory issues you mention
I'm very surprised to see nobody mentioned this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707790
I work with it in a professional context and it's always a great help to parents. It's also a great book to reflect on your own upbringing - although it might be triggering for you, it might also give you some insight and a role model through written examples.
Sure, the author’s name is Andrea Brackmann. I’m afraid it’s just available in German though… 😕 Jenseits der Norm - hochbegabt und hoch sensibel?: Die seelischen und sozialen Aspekte der Hochbegabung bei Kindern und Erwachsenen (Leben lernen) https://www.amazon.de/dp/3608892087/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_S6S96XJ02BSZ5AWJ62A0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
The standard textbook on the subject is:
https://www.amazon.com/Education-Gifted-Talented-Whats-Special/dp/0133827100
It is geared toward teachers of children but all the major issues of gifted education are covered in it.
Check out the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults. It has lots of information on being twice exceptional. The author also wrote a shorter article here, which is more focused on misdiagnosis.
Here is one of he likes jets
And one if he wants to build a tank
These include everything you need to get started. To get a good finish I reccomend using the package as a paint pallete and to mix the paint with drops of water after applying the first coat with no water to get a nice finish. It's a really fun hobby though and I definitely reccomend it. You could help him along the way and it'd be a fun bonding experience.
Oh, hi :-) Regarding CPTSD, I understand, and I am so sorry. Similar situations, it seems. It is entirely legal, thank God. This is the one that I'm taking. It actually tastes quite nice:
I am going to experiment with taking it every other day and a lower dose, too. Within a week, I didn't recognise myself.
Here are some ideas on how to make a school transition go well:
it's your call, but I would put him in his age-approporiate grade so he has a less challenging academic time so he can deal with the social and emotional challenges next year will bring.
next, you need him to feel connected to the teacher. Call the school and try to set up a meeting with him/her so your kiddo has something comforting to feel attached to when you walk away on day 1. Before you go, put kiddos hand in teachers hand, smile and walk away.
before that, you need to start teaching anxiety coping skills. Personally this book helped my daughter a ton (also highly sensitive which leads to overwhelm and meltdowns): https://www.amazon.com/Sometimes-Im-Anxious-Overcoming-Anxiety/dp/1510747486?dplnkId=f2648ddf-e3ae-4bf2-a32d-346d3d7743d4 Especially note the page on thinking errors which contribute to anxiety in anticipation.
as you ease into it, you could consider one day at home a week to help kiddo adjust and give him space to unwind. Even if school says you can't, you know he knows the material so just call him in sick. You kind of have to manage his overwhelm by making sure he has enough time to recover.
consider seeking an IEP to give him some enrichment in class and also possibly accommodates for no timed tests, if your school system allows it.
Good luck. I know you kind of got piled on here, but I have one that is anxious but capable. Some days she would avoid everything if I let her. She needs lots of down time and lots of support. But know that caving to anxiety every time doesn't work in your favour. You need to build a plan that provides enough support to be successful and appropriate coping skills.
My daughter and son were in full time gifted education settings until high school. They have had some amazing teachers. So for me to point one out is saying something.
Anything you can get, ever, written by Lindsay Kasten, or if you can network with her, will pay off.
That woman was a miracle worker with gifted students. She did so much not only to teach them, but also to deeply engage them and help them grow. She knew how to give them an environment that met their intellectual needs, and address some of the peculiar developmental needs of gifted kids. All of the kids from my daughter's cohort still talk about her. And I watched how good she was for their well-being.
I cannot recommend enough looking at how she considered and structured their time. I have been a gifted student. I have seen two kids in a lot of gifted classrooms. This is my gold standard for how to teach gifted ed.
Lived experience, mom experience, and licensed psychologist here (but not YOUR psychologist).
This was the most helpful starting point resource on this for me: https://www.amazon.com/Misdiagnosis-Diagnoses-Gifted-Children-Adults/dp/1935067435
It’s in french though… really wish it got translated because the author is a psychotherapist who dedicated her career to research specifically related to gifted children/adults.
https://www.amazon.ca/Ladulte-surdou%C3%A9-Apprendre-simple-compliqu%C3%A9/dp/2226238549
I can highly recommend the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults. It has a long chapter on ASD and giftedness.
There is the very good book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults, which has a very long chapter on giftedness and Aspergers. I can really recommend reading this book, it is very in depth both in differentiating between the two conditions, but also what do to when both conditions indeed are present.
https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Your-Own-North-Star-ebook/dp/B0019O6IXE
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you can read the first chapter of this book for free via the kindle version. I would recommend it. Ultimately I would recommend reading as many books as you can about other people and the lives they lived.
You’re so young! Whether you’re still in high school or coming out. I know it doesn’t sound like the solution but I think it is: Self love. I was experiencing extreme burnout out and lacked ambition, passion and energy. My mom bought me this book and I was like mom…no. And she was like just try it. And so I said fuck it, I’ll answer all the questions in the book however I want even if I answer them like an asshole. It turned into an amazing self love journey. I learned a lot about myself, what I’m passionate about, what actually motivates me not what my parents said. The book is only $10 so I highly suggest (if you’re not a woman…idk I still think you might like! or find another?? sorry!)
It’s also just about getting to a comfortable point in your life too, there have been points in my life I’m dealing with extended stress (like family illness) or rough living situations or a shitty job. I was like “What’s wrong with me?” But really I was just surviving in my environment. It takes time.
There’s no hobby that is meant to be. If you abandoned them it’s not a reflection of you or what’s wrong with you. Maybe it’s a reflection of the hobby itself isn’t right or you’re not at the right place in your life to enjoy.
Also health/eating plays into mental health which will definitely affect all three of these especially energy! Do you eat 3 nutritious meals a day? Again sometimes it’s about being at the right point in your life to be able to. However something like cooking may a good “hobby” to get into that also benefits your health. I love any hobby that I enjoy doing and improves my health/life.
There is a very good book on the topic of giftedness & autism, called Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults. There is a big overlap between the symptoms of autism/Asperger's and the symptoms of gifted people being in an environment that does not fit their needs.
The authors state that it can be very difficult to find out whether a person is gifted, or is autistic, or both. They recommend viewing the observed symptoms of autism under the lense of whether they are dependent on a certain environment. When the symptoms disappear when the person is in an environment more suited to gifted people, it is unlikely the person is autistic.
I must say, the fact that some people are more intelligent than others is an inconvenient truth, but it is very researched and proven. The same is true for IQ tests, even though it is not always easy to interpret the results, IQ scores say quite a lot about people.
Yes, they were professionally assessed. Some are good at and do enjoy test-taking.
A portion max out standard IQ tests, which have been normed. Others are identified through talent searches in childhood, using tests meant for much older students that can be accurately used to measure up to ~230 like Terrance Tao.
See this for more details. Farrelly is in the upper PG range and is a prolific writer on Quora. https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/ColleenFarrelly/understanding-the-profoundly-gifted
Geometric pattern blocks are really good:
https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-Plastic-Pattern-Blocks/dp/B00004WKPP/
or
https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Advantage-22020-Plastic-Pattern/dp/B014V0I8LM/
I started smoking pot 6 years ago when it became legal where I am and it's been a gentle way to slow my brain down in the evenings. A hell of a lot healthier than booze. I've nearly quadrupled my income in the same time, so I'm not worried about it affecting work.
Have you tried programming music visualizations? Processing.org has an accessible platform. I find it helps me get into music and exert my inventive and creative self.
Ugh, I'm the same way. A few tips that I use are:
-I have a "work laptop" and a "fun laptop". I'm lucky enough the work laptop is provided to me by work, but I think separating even a "study window" on your computer could help.
-I also use a timer method that gives me breaks. I don't always use the breaks, but knowing that I have them can help me get started. Here's a free one (www.tomato-timer.com)
Hope that helps!
There is the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults, which has a long chapter on differentiating ADHD and giftedness. I don't remember exactly what the authors write about ADHD, but in general they stress that problems from ADHD (and other mental health issues) should appear in all contexts. So a child being very twitchy and unruly in many different environments should be evaluated for ADHD, while a child being easily distracted and rebellious in school, but not at home should be evaluated for what leads to such behaviour in the school environment.
Concerning your coffee and adderall experiences, I think that is just the standard reaction to those drugs. Coffee makes you more active by turning up your heart rate, and making you more active in several psychological ways. This is exactly why many people drink coffee. And since you seem to not be used to caffeine, your reaction must have been quite strong. The same is true for adderall. It gets you in a sort of hyperfocus mode. This is why people abuse it for studying for exams etc.
If you have ADHD, it should show up in your life in places like work or university. If your only problem is procrastinating on projects, you should look at why you procrastinate on them. Tired from working or studying? Too much time spend on social media/TV/whatever? And if you think coffee makes you a more functional person, just start drinking it more. BTW, if a person with ADHD would drink a double espresso without caffeine tolerance, they would probably experience a very unpleasant episode of having too much energy and too little focus.
Concerning giftedness evaluation: In Germany, it is possible for a (child) psychologist to diagnose someone as gifted without a formal IQ test. This possibility exists for people like your son, who cannot be IQ tested for some reason. The evaluation would then look at your sons advanced abilities in school, his sensoric quirks, etc. I could imagine that something similar exists in the Netherlands. You could try finding out which universities do research on gifted people, they often have some kind of center for gifted people attached. And even if not, the researches still might be able to help in some way.
Concerning giftedness and ASD: The book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults is a very informative read on the subject. The authors lay out what has to be taken into account for differentiating between giftedness masquerading as ASD and giftedness in combination with ASD. They stress that any disorder such as ASD should be seen in all environments (in school and at home, etc.), otherwise it has to be taken into account that the problems stem from the gifted child in conflict with the environment, not from a disorder. They also say that they consider an ASD diagnosis only correct if the gifted person is not able to have a socially appropriate relationship with anyone. Which I guess doesn't mesh with the more fluid view of ASD of the last few years. But I think it is relevant to mention it, since you say your son is sociable, but he knows no boundaries. I think it's reasonable to consider that this might be because he is highly energetic and wants to satisfy his curiousity.
Don't have a book recommendation, but what about an relatively advanced "word of the day" calendar or something similar. My mom had one, and it was a game we'd play throughout the day - use the "word of the day" as many times as you can, but you have to use it properly to get points. I'm sure she let me win, but I think it improved my vocabulary.
Something like this could be good too: https://www.amazon.ca/WILDLIFE-FACT-FILE-Identification-Conservation-hardcover/dp/1886614032
^out of print but linking for example. It was an educational subscription service - you get new "fact files" every few weeks that teach you about different animals. It basically an encyclopaedia that you got a few entries at a time. Keeps kid engaged, learning new fun things every week and it's something to read.
When your kid is a little older, I would suggest more "classic" fantasy books like the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, though they both do have violence in them, it isn't a main feature. Bilbo is unconscious for most of the only real battle in the Hobbit. Personal choice though, they were my favourites as a kid and a challenge to read at the time (probably 6-10 years old?).
Similar to others on the thread, stick with things for children, but make sure to keep up the challenge and learning. It's easy to go too far - my dad gave my Ulysses as one of the first books he wanted me to read, I still haven't finished it 20 years later, it was just boring and incomprehensible to me as a kid.
IQ tests in children are less accurate than in adults. This is because children are not as experienced in taking tests, can be distracted more easily, do not understand the significance of the test and various other things. When evaluating children, it is thus very important to think about in how far the test results fits to the overall presentation of the child, and what the thought process of the child was when taking the test.
For example, when a child does not answer many questions at all, the reason can be that the child thought about each question they did answer very long to make sure the answer was correct. Vice versa, when a child breezes through the test, but most answers are wrong, it is a possibility that child was bored, and did not think about the questions too much.
In general, contrary what /u/Bakingflowers wrote, IQ is a very stable measure throughout life. Only things like heavy brain damage can change your true "general intelligence", and not for the better. Since you scored high on several IQ tests recently, it is very likely that the evaluation when you where younger did not give you a correct estimate of your IQ due to your depression and distractedness.
Concerning Dyslexia and Dyscalculia, but also your history with depression and anxiety, I can recommend you the book Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults. It gives an overview of all the psychological issues that can have an interrelationship with giftedness, and also how to evaluate them with giftedness in mind.
Giftedness can actually look like autism, ADHD and the various personality disorders you mentioned. See this article. The authors also wrote a book, which I have read and which I found quite insightful.
A point that the authors make in the book is the following: If a person has a disorder like autism, the disorder should affect them in all contexts. So if a person can relate to other people that share their interest, but not to coworkers, it is unlikely the person has autism. And if a child misbehaves in school or is distracted, but can function just fine in other contexts, it probably is not ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder.
The same goes for symptoms. Having trouble relating with other people can be a symptom of autism, but if you don't have any symptom that usually appears in autism, it is probably not autism.
That said, the things you describe fit giftedness very well. Not being able to relate to other people, being defiant in school, being unstructured in your learning, being bored by repetition are all things that are very common in gifted people. That you where identified as gifted at one point also fits this explanation, even if you believe the IQ test you where given was bogus, having scored extremely high on it still is very relevant.
It’s definitely interesting to hear your take. I would look into existentialism and existential philosophy because it sounds like some of those type questions are getting you.
Someone on here recommended me a book which helped a bit: By James T. Webb Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope (1st First Edition) [Paperback] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KN70HVM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_aFunFb7P8RGR3
Also I’m interested in how others’ minds work, how they process things and remember things. I don’t know where to start with that.
For example, I am terrible with a sense of directions. I have to memorize the whole path and have been there before to remember the way. Some people are good with directions and just know which way to go.
But I can make connections really fast. My memory is like a spider web where I can make multiple connections to things really fast and remember details and stories. I am bad at short term memorization though.
Some examples of flowcharts I have would be the interconnected factors which make up my vocational challenges. Another is the pattern I noticed I go through regarding my social needs (I titled it "the gifted shame-coping loop" and another, most recent, "the gifted mirroring-discernment loop"). Another flowchart I have is a map of my values and how they relate to each other. Sometimes I get discouraged because I can't quite make a visual of the pattern I recognize but want to. I mostly started making these flowcharts because it was much more efficient in communicating my challenges to new therapists or people who care to understand me.
I am wondering if glass boards are any good? Like this one, for example: https://www.amazon.com/Audio-Visual-Direct-Frosted-Glass-Dry-Erase/dp/B004QWAOQ8/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2HG2280JLKCA9&keywords=glass+boards+for+wall&qid=1565414678&s=gateway&sprefix=glass+board%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-4
I have the same question. There really is no simple answer I've found. I have found the most luck in holistic and alternative sort of communities because people in them tend to be more progressive and unconventional free thinker types. I agree with the sentiment that there is not enough support for gifted adults. Here is my favorite book on the topic though if you'd want to check it out and aren't familiar with it already: https://www.amazon.com/Gifted-Adult-Revolutionary-Liberating-Everyday/dp/0345434927
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also is a good start for explaining the theory of positive disintegration and how to apply it to your gifted child. it is VERY accurate and has some good strategies.
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My son is a kindergartener who also doesn't like talking about his moods, partially i think because he can get trapped in colouring his entire day with his current emotion (either really good or really bad), or he goes through such an array of moods in a day, he has a hard time separating out one from the rest. There is a journal I've seen on the internet that is similar to a mindfulness journal, that has faces to explain moods, which i have been thinking of getting for him. He is better at "bucket full, half full or empty" analogies, and I check in with him occasionally on that, as well as "who filled your bucket today, who's bucket did you help fill?". I think the analogy is easier for him then analyzing the huge array of moods and feelings he is pounded with all day.
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does your public school support IPP's? that shouldn't require funding, and will open up resources for free, at least in canada.
Also, I read in another comment that you said your kiddo is emotionally intense. Here’s a book I read as I was trying to figure out how to help my child. I highly recommend it!!
Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings (2nd ed.) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1618214578/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_u3.YAbFCV5TGX