>samatha training This book includes good Samatha training.There are not a lot of good books on the subject,Just a couple from people that are properly trained. https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Bliss-Beyond-Meditators-Handbook-ebook/dp/B003XKN6C8/
https://www.amazon.com/Headache-Pelvis-New-Expanded-Understanding/dp/0972775552
I paid for the book. to be fair, it's drawn out with synopses of pelvic pain but it provided utmost clarity about what type of pain I suffer from and how to relax it.
That said, if you don't have the cash i'm sure you can gather a lot of tips from r/pelvicfloor. Try to sort by top posts of all time.
The way I did is basically edging close to PNOR and then stopping using kegels. I have been doing this for several weeks now. There are lots of differences between then and now.
-In the beginning, I had to do the kegel well before the edge, maybe 90%, if I go any closer, I end up ejaculating. Now, I can get dangerously close, maybe 99.5% and still stop it very easily.
-When I did the kegel, I used to strain a lot and put lot of force and clenching to stop it, now I don't do any of that. I stop it with very little effort.
- Earlier, even after all the precautions (above) I end up letting ejaculate out either retrogade or actual ejaculate at that moment. Now I don't.
So when you practice it, you have to do it for a few weeks and based on the above you'll notice,
- you need less effort from kegels to stop the EO
- You can get very very close to PNOR and stop
- You won't let anything out
I improved my kegels with the helps of this app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jsdev.pfei&hl=en_US
I did it three times a day. Now I simply "exercise" in between sets of my normal workout. I do a long hold for about 30-60 seconds 2-3 times. That's it.
It will take time, though. A few weeks at least but you will see progress and hit milestones along the way.
This is probably closest to What Nat Eliason says in his blog post but I have also read and implemented the stuff in Love Satisfied and MOM. For example, when I am done, I still have an erection so I use the big draw and draw my energy up and it works like a charm.