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Not sure if you already know about this book, but just bought it from amazon to try help myself, I couldn't recommend it more! It's called 'needing to know for sure' it's amazinggg- hopefully this helps someone else too https://www.amazon.co.uk/Needing-Know-Sure-Overcoming-Reassurance/dp/1684033705/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Needing+to+know+for+sure&qid=1611008291&sr=8-1
If the thoughts caused you a tremendous amount of anxiety that you desperately wanted to alleviate through other thoughts or actions then yes, it very well could be. There's lots of literature on OCD, this book is amazing:
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https://www.amazon.ca/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
I totally understand where you are coming from. My thoughts mainly center around harming/k*liking people I love. Once I got a handle on just the idea of that, my thoughts immediately switched to ‘It would feel good/you would feel relief if you did it.’ That felt like a whole other level of escalation and was/still is quite scary. I by no means believed it, but it felt like I was trying to fight the urge 24/7.
Your brain is going to find the thought that scares you the most, and the OCD is going to absolutely latch onto it. The more you try to explain it/engage in any way, the more it will latch on. Just know that every thought is just that, a thought. And that thoughts are outside our control and do not reveal anything deeper about ourselves. I can not recommend this book enough for more insight and tips on how to begin to overcome intrusive thoughts. https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346
Hope this helped.
Yes, I go through these phases - which also make the whole "I guess I don't really have this" shit worse.
Do you have a mental health professional? Please contact them and talk to them about this.
There are things you can do.
Alternatively - a heavily recommended book (by my mental health professional and others): https://smile.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3U7UGPLKYJF5&dchild=1&keywords=overcoming+intrusive+unwanted+thoughts&qid=1626438413&sprefix=overcoming+in%2Caps%2C183&...
So if you can't necessarily get to a medical professional because of your circumstances, this book may at least be helpful.