Transgender women (whether pre-op, post-op, or non-op) are women. Transgender women look like women because they are 100% women. Transgender men are a separate gender altogether.
You are correct that it's not gay for a cisgender man to have sex with a transgender woman. Any sex between a man and a woman is straight.
As a side note, transgender is an adjective, not a noun, so sentence formation is a bit different.
Examples:
I love transgender women. - Grammatically correct.
I love transgenders. - Grammatically incorrect.
I strongly recommend reading these two guides to ensure both you and the trans woman will maximize enjoyment with whatever you decide to do together.
Alright. You know what you're comfortable with. I see no reason to assume you're not straight. Sometimes fantasies that are simply fantasies. Maybe you'd even like to try gender roleplay with a further boyfriend.
If you ever change your mind about engaging in sex involving two vulvas or simply want to look into it more, I recommend Girl Sex 101. It has a lot of information regarding being with queer people who have a vulva.
It sounds like you're bisexual or pansexual. You might also have a genital preference for penises. If you are interested in learning more about vulvas though, I recommend Girl Sex 101.
Rubbing her naked genitalia on any part of your body (or toy attached to you) or rubbing your naked genitalia on any part of her body (or toy attached to her) constitutes as lesbian sex.
If you'd like more specifics, this book is pretty useful.
Hi, I think it’s great that you are teaching them about masturbation! I think it’s so important for women (and men) to explore their own bodies. It will help her learn what she likes before actually getting in bed with someone. And if she can please herself then she should be less inclined to seek it from someone else, and when she does she’ll be doing it for more than just getting off. This is where I recommend you be most aware because as she starts dating and when she gives herself to someone it’s going to be a pretty big deal, and there’s a good chance they won’t be their only partner. (But you never know!) be sure you address the emotional stuff just as much as the sex stuff. Since you are so open, why don’t you ask her if she wants you to help her pick it out or if she wants to choose it alone. Amazon is great, just make sure you read every detail so you/ she makes sure to get exactly the one she wants. It’s best to get a toy that focuses on clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. Here’s an example.
SENDRY Mini Wand Massager - Smallest and Strongest 160 Vibration Modes - Handheld Wireless Waterproof Mute Rechargeable Personal Massager for Body Relieves Muscle Tension (Black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CJZD2GR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_X9Q5QHR80TJ95AHHNWQ5
You are not gay because you are a man attracted to a woman.
Making love to transgender women is actually the same as making love to cisgender women. You communicate what things you'd both like to try in the bedroom and continually check in while doing it to make sure you're both still enjoying the intimate experience. I also recommend reading FTW in addition to talking to her.
Hi, you've got a paraphilia called autogynephilia. Your story is quintessential. It's common to have sexual excitement at the beginning, which later turns into more of a not overtly sexual desire for transitioning. You also appear to be of the "asexual" / analloerotic persuasion--your romantic and sexual axis is more or less exclusively comprised of autogynephilia, often abbreviated "AGP."
I recommend this book for further self-understanding:
There's some resources on the Internet, some good, some not so good. There's a lot of activists trying to bury the idea, often ones in your exact same shoes. The easiest person to fool is yourself.
This article makes a great summary of the different kinds of trans people, which you should endeavor to understand: https://4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/
I also suggest you check out /r/askAGP. It's a dumpster fire in there sometimes, but having people like yourself to talk to is important.