I'm sure the people with spouses will be along shortly to give you a more informed reply, but I just wanted to say that it's really wonderful of you to be so supportive and put your feelings aside and let her go off and do this.
Your wife is sure to be missing you like crazy as well, but she's doing something that has made a huge difference in my life and the lives of a lot of people I know.
Ten days feels like ages but I promise you they will end. : )
If you're the sort of person who would find it helpful to spend some time learning more about what she's doing, this book is a good introduction.
Good luck! You've got this.
Dhammavani is down? I'm acquainted with members of the original team who started it - let me see if I can get back in touch to find out what's up.
There are a couple of apps that you can use for group sittings - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.dhamma is the official one, and if you're an old student it also has group sittings you can use.
Someone's recently started a discord server for Vipassana - I'm not on discord so I don't know how it's faring.
I'm a Goenka girl, but other teachers also know what's up. You're not going to find a more authoritative set of instructions than Mindfulness in Plain English and Bhante G's other work.
The important thing is to pick a teacher and commit. It also really helps if you're not alone. The strongest argument for following in the U Ba Khin / Goenka tradition is the community of follow students you can find in most parts of the world.
4T50 makes a great point, especially regarding how a lot of what's said about it can be easily misunderstood. The dark night is ultimately just another step on the path when trekking forward :).
My major dark night experience came after a 10-day retreat when I was in Asia. I realized how everything I cared for would eventually turn to shit, no matter how hard I tried to change things. My retreat gave me direct proof that all experiences, good or bad, eventually give way to newer and other experiences. I realized this pattern of change was not unique just to my meditation sits, but to everything in the Universe. It was a very personal understanding that there's no solidity in life as everything is slipping away so grasping will always end in heartbreak. This led to a depressive episode that lasted for some time as I viewed these realizations through a negative lens and made them about "me".
The thing is... the dark night is just as temporary and impermanent as everything else! But understanding that mentally and experientially are two different things. The key here, as pretty much everywhere else on the path, is to keep practicing. For more on the dark night, check out Daniel Ingram's book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha or hang out on the Dharma Overground forums.
I have had similar periods but they come and go. I recommend reading the meditators handbook - how to untie knots for inspiration. It is approved in this tradition, very inspiring and was given to me by an old student.
BR Peter
How dare you ask me to provide a helpful response?!
Just kidding. I don't remember the brand but it looked like the link below. I brought to the retreat those stiff, semi-circle N95 masks with the rubber-band straps and quickly switched to the K95 masks that the center offered. The flaps are flexible compared to a lot of N95 masks so I thought they were much more comfortable. I have a big head and no issue with the strap being too tight.
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=)
Are you talking about the zabutons? Something like this? - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003M21RQY/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&aaxitk=4ea163f83753005ac236abea483f2320&hsa_cr_id=3005621520601&pd_rd_plhdr=t&pd_rd_r=a4d9507d-bf20-4222-81ad-8574e267edbd&pd_rd_w=n594d&pd_rd_wg=...
I can tell you the ONE thing that I am so glad I took with me is the Nada chair.. which isn’t really a chair but back support.. I still use it meditating.. it holds your back straight and you slip the straps over both knees.. perfect lotus and straight back. Trust me it’s worth every penny. I actually forgot I packed it and first two days were hell. It may seem pricey but you will be so happy you have it. Here is link to one I bought.
Nada-Chair Back-Up with CushShins Premium Back Support System Turns to Convertible Pouch Bag https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000YJ9LCK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_DE9RBA3049AXBVYWTF35
That's a bummer, I'm sorry. I first started applying to courses in February 2020, while I was traveling in Southeast Asia. I applied in multiple countries, but first they denied entry to foreigners, then they were all canceled completely. I had to wait 1.5 years before I could finally do one. It felt like it came at a perfect time, so even though you were looking forward to it, maybe the universe has different plans for you and it will come at a time when you are really meant for it.
You can commit to meditating a certain amount of time each day. Since the course involves no electronics or reading materials, you might also commit to going electronic and reading materials free at some point in the day/evening until the following day. (It's certainly easier to do that when you do not have access to them!).
You can also read Goenka's Discourse Summaries, which is an abridges version of the discourses you watch nightly during the retreat.
Yeah :
https://www.headspace.com/meditation/techniques
Including body scanning though from what I understand with vepassna it's mainly just attention on the breath, notice when you lose that attention, and guiding it back to the breath. That's bascially it.
> that no one knew that she was on medication.
Yes, I remember that as well. That none of the volunteers knew she was on medication. Earlier in the article we have the following:
> When Vogt signed up for the session in March, she disclosed her anxiety diagnosis and medication. The center then sent follow-up paperwork which Vogt's health care provider signed, vouching that Vogt was stable and didn't have panic attacks or other problems that would preclude her from participating.
This points towards the Center, specifically whomever is in charge of admissions, knew about the medication. This shows a potential communication breakdown / flaw in their system.
> But you I right it is not explicitly said - and I am not postulating it.
We know the center knew about her medication. We know the volunteers knew nothing about it. We do not know if Vogt stopped taking the medication. Are you assuming that because the volunteers did not know about her midcation, that means that Vogt stopped taking her medication? That is postulating. Full stop.
>-this technique is “pure,” can be traced to a historical Buddha and has been preserved exactly as the Buddha taught it, and everything else is a corruption
What Goenka teaches is most certainly not what the Buddha taught. It was a later creation primarily from the Visuddhimagga. What Goenka teaches as Vipassana is actually four elements meditation. If it were an original technique taught by the Buddha, there would be clear descriptions in the early texts. If you're interested in what the Buddha actually taught, I highly recommend reading In the Buddha's Words. As a side note, I view the Goenka vipassana organization to be one that boarders on a cult. In their eyes, the only acceptable practice is vipassana as Goenka teaches it. They do have In the Buddha's Words in their library, but if you apply anything from it in your practice, or even teachings from the Visuddhimagga, you are considered practicing an outside technique and barred from advancing to longer retreats. If you're serious about enlightenment and attaining stream entry, you should heavily consider exploring the fundamentals: Theravada and the early teachings. Analayo, Bhikkhu Bodhi, r/streamentry are good resources. Feel free to DM me if you have questions or want suggestions.
>-when we pay close enough attention, we can experience sub-atomic particles called kalapas on our body
The way I understand Kalapas, they're the smallest possible unit of perceptible experience. Definitely not subatomic particles.
>-rebirth, past and future lives
Remembering past lives can be done when you've attained a stable 4th Jhana, although sometimes happens spontaneously earlier. If you have doubts, you should see for yourself.
One of the characteristics of our world, as defined by the Buddha, is anatta or no-self.
There is no god self either, only an ever changing (anicca) impersonal (anatta) phenomenon. Our attachment towards the five aggregates in which we perceive the sensation of self, leads to suffering, is suffering in itself. (dukkha)
I'd highly recommend you check out the book "What the Buddha thaught" by Walpola Rahula for a clear and concise picture of the theoretical aspect of Dhamma.
I use a timer, just so my mind wouldn't go crazy like "It's been already xxx mins for sure, you can stop now." This way I just sit until the bell rings. I started using the Mind Bell App for this. It has a meditation timer feature, where you can split up your meditation time in chunks. You can configure the time for each chunk and how many gongs it should play in the beginning / end. So I use this for doing 15mins of anapana in the beginning and vipassana the rest of the time.
I'm not familiar with his books. My first introduction to the Therevada path was "8 Mindful Steps to Happiness in Plain English" and "Mindfulness in Plain English". After some time working Anapana on my own I realized that I would need to take a ten-day course to really get a grounding in the technique. You can visit dhamma.org for more information on retreats near you. Best luck on the path
Basically it is just mindfulness. Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana is popular.
The first 3 tetrads (steps 1 -12) of the Anapanasati sutta (Mindfulness of In-&-Out Breathing) are the development of shamatha. The fourth and final tetrad (steps 13 -16) is the development of vipassana. So if you practice mindfulness of breathing you start with shamatha.
I would suggest practicing mindfulness of breathing with the focus being on the rise and fall of the abdomen and the general tension that can be felt in that area while breathing. Inhale and there is tension; exhale and there is a release of tension. Just observe it and try to keep the mind pinned on that experience. When you notice the mind has wandered and gotten caught up in thought just bring it back to the breath at the abdomen.
It seems like your replies got lost in the pile. For future reference, if you reply to individual posts instead, they get seen at least by the person you replied to, because they get a little highlighted envelope showing a reply.
Anyway, I've been a sporadic meditator at best, but it's mostly because of this type of thing happening to me. It takes a while to be honest. The deeper you go into insight meditation, the more likely this is to come up. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it, but it's a process of unearthing more and more layers of .. stuff that you have to deal with. Frankly, most of it is painful or just plain cringe-worthy too. When I think about all the stupid things I've flipped out about or become obsessed with in the past, well.. I've got to deal with that and the only way to be done with it, is to go through with it.
That said, like I said above, pace yourself. Build yourself back up a bit too so you don't spiral into depression. Because meditation also causes you to reevaluate the worth of everything in life, you also have the risk of entering a "dark night of the soul". This state is also described in Ingram's <u>Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha</u> and he gives good practical descriptions and steps for working through it if I recall correctly.
The point is, what you're going through is normal for the type of insights you're trying to achieve, so don't worry about your flashbacks and other experiences.
Thanks for your response Shuun. I've been exposed to these by this book (get the audio if you can as Ben Kingsley's read is wonderful). https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Buddhas-Teaching-Transforming-Liberation/dp/0767903692
Ty has done a lovely job updating the precepts for modern living too including things like how what you eat effects the climate of the world and how sensory entertainment effects right mind.
Anyhow, I am definitely putting these into practice daily, it's definitely a process which is why I was meant to find the word Kenshō.
In the chan tradition, they have what are known as an Upāsaka a lay person who abides by the precepts without need for ordaining or staying within the temple. This is definitely the middle path I'm taking.
Try this book: Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris. It's not (only) about Vipassana, but it is mentioned a few times and will not resort to anything metaphysical.
Another book that fits this category is The joy of living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche