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How about one of these bad boys?
Fridge locker! Just for the expensive food she shouldn’t be eating. You can use them outside the fridge too.
Too true, she is the type to think every 10 year old pinterest idea is the innovation of the year, so she isn't too inventive.
This vtech camera from Amazon! My mom had actually bought one a few years ago for a family friend in the same situation and it was perfect. https://www.amazon.com/VTech-Kidizoom-Camera-Frustration-Packaging/dp/B01FMK17TK/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1544294866&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=toddler%2Bcamera&dpPl=1&dpID=512nIFRYLqL&ref=plSrch&th=1&...
My therapist recommended "who's pulling your strings?" for learning how to deal with my MIL in a healthy way. I haven't read it yet but the Amazon blurb looks promising.
https://www.amazon.com/Whos-Pulling-Your-Strings-Manipulation/dp/0071446729
Many people do not welcome full or partial body contact. Some will put up with it rarely but getting that close in is just a physical personal preference, like showering in cold water. Just ick. It is concerning that she is keeping it up and that you feel like the family villain. Red flags here. Do the rest of the family hug that much or mainly her? Have you been able to chat with your SIL and see why she avoids your MIL too? Either way, I'd chat or text with MIL, with DH close, and tell her that you understand she loves to hug everyone but you find it unpleasant and so what does she suggest she can do instead? Have her think of a solution. Maybe you can agree to hugging once a year. If you have to tell her she feels or smells off to you, go right ahead. Try to see her much less, she sounds potentially smothering. Last resort try googling a spiked jacket. Can of dog poop spray perfume. Wean her off the hard way. Mens Brando Motorbike Rock Punk Spike Studded Motorcycle Biker Leather Jacket https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QBCRWDD/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_CNZEATXT9NXDH29NX52K?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I will praise this book until the cows come home! https://www.amazon.com/Offbeat-Bride-Creative-Alternatives-Independent/dp/1580053157
Have the wedding you want, how you want, on the budget you can afford. My entire wedding was less than $5k dollars because that is what we did. And I worked a second job for a year and a half with all of that money going just to the wedding fund. But folks had fun at our wedding, were fed, and provided drinks because our wedding couples shower theme was stock the bar. It’s about deciding what you seriously want and if you pay for it 100%, no one else gets a say.
Let people who want to be miserable be miserable. You can't charm or argue them into being content or happy. You can gift them an Ekhart Tolle book for Christmas, but that's about it.
Try to let go of your feeling of responsibility over her and her family's enjoyment of the holiday. You did nothing wrong, and you are not responsible to pay for last years "sins" for the rest of your life. Talk with your spouse about what you guys want to do this year, and if it doesn't involve them, that's fine
Definitely plan to buy the squeegee tool for smooth application, and also get an exacto knife for trimming the excess. Also you'll need a tall and sturdy step ladder so one of you can "easily" reach the ceiling while the other stands back at the other end of the room to be the alignment guide! We did this when I was verryyy pregnant so hubby was up on the ladder and I was the one calling out: "Move it 2 milimeters to the left, ok 5 milimeters upwards, ok stop! Right there!" :D
You might want to looking into portable door stoppers to use when you're at home.
Something like this:
Portable Door Jammer for Travel Security, Door Stopper Security Device Lockdown, Aluminum Alloy Anti-Slip Door Locks for Women Safety Self Defense, Apartment Personal Protection for Homeowner (Red) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08GXYM64G/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_J7F72DKMFBXJJRC33VW6
might work ( depending on which direction the door opens).
I now you do not want to hear it, and you have been around the block and aren't some young 18 year old, so you can decide and weigh how you want, but you may want to consider not getting married until your boyfriend is on board with setting boundaries. Untangling from a marriage is much more difficult, if he does not come around.
Is he willing/are you able to move further away from MIL? Living 2100 miles from my mother does wonders for our relationship.
Otherwise, organize your thoughts and write them down and have a heart to heart with your MIL where you lay out that you are a capable adult, you and your husband will be autonomous adults, and while you appreciate her input,concern, and love, you and your husband will be making the life, financial, educational, household decisions for your household. You gotta be blunt and harsh. It sucks, its uncomfortable. I did it with my dad and we didn't speak for a short time as he processed, and now we have a great relationship. If she reacts poorly and trash-talks you, then at least you know you did your best.
I have never read it, but I hear this book recommended sometimes: https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Control/dp/0310351804/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I think my mom read it and learned from it.
She seems like a JN to me. If she's triggering literal physical anxiety in you, your body is telling you something akin to a trauma response. It's telling you to run, fight or flight. You are opting to flight, which is justified.
Your husband is a JNSO. The decision for MIL to be the granny nanny should not be taken lightly. If she never follows BIL's rules regarding his kids, she will never follow yours. Stand firm on this.
You may need to get this book. https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Laws-Strategies-Protecting-Marriage/dp/0060507853
I would also look up the term "emotional vampire".
You have a /r/justnoso issue. His priority is to make mommy happy and spoiler alert, these type of people like your MIL will never be happy. The game is rigged. It's designed this way so that whenever MIL says jump your SO doesn't even ask how high he just rushes in to do whatever she wants.
What's worse is that you're allowing this dysfunction to extend to your own mother. It's not anyone's job to manage an adult woman's feelings. I suggest reading books like this one and see if the summary and reviews resonate with you.