What are /r/attachment_theory's favorite Products & Services?

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It's pretty commonly understood that we often repeat patterns/relationship dynamics we had with our parents.

I've found AEDP ti be the modality that has worked best for me for addressing childhood trauma and core wounds.

There's a book about it called It's Not Always Depression that is AEDP related, but I find working with a therapist most helpful.

For relationships- Attached, Wired For Love, Insecure in Love, Hold Me Tight, and my all-time favorite You Are The One You've Been Waiting For. That book is the absolute best!

Good luck to you on your journey!

Hi, this reeks of emotional abuse. This is not about him being an avoidant or his attachment style. You did not handle this poorly. This is not your fault. It is unacceptable for anyone, but especially a partner, to mock and insult your appearance. This is unabashed cruelty, not avoidance.

I strongly recommend reading this book. I’m sorry that you are in this position. This is something you cannot fix with him. It is not your fault.

Yes! At the end of the survey I've included a link to a blog where we'll be posting the results in both English and Mandarin in August. If you're just curious and do not want to take part, here is the link:

https://wordpress.com/view/eg1dissertationproject.com

Belief in a higher power, which does seem helpful in the AA/CODA framework is, in essence, adopting an Ideal Parent Figure Protocol!

I found this to be a fascinating insight. I'm not sure where I heard it, but likely a recent Josh Korda podcast.

The IPF is described in Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair.

Janis Bryans

https://www.amazon.com/Avoidant-Attachment-Dismissive-Emotional-Strengthen/dp/B09HFVCJDB/ref=mp_s_a_1_9?crid=IV9C7XYYY9DB&keywords=avoidant+attachment&qid=1661782852&sprefix=avoid%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-9

The Attachment Effects. They cite their sources.

The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143132423/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_CWPW1K7C2BZXGBDP48F2

the problem is that there are simply not enough secure people out there.

I don't know about the US, I can only speak for parts of western Europe.

Secure people are in relationships, marriages, or they stay single just for a short period of time since they really like being with someone. They don't use Tinder or match.com that often. They date colleagues, friends of friends or basically strangers they meet offline.

In the dating pool are avoidant men to a large degree. They end relationships sooner, are dating more people, are on the market again very quick after a break-up and go through a lot of women. And who are they pairing up with? Yeah right, anxious or fearful women.

Wow, I think this is a terrible idea! Why would I want to give some random site all that personal info with an identifier like my email address? I suppose I could use a ~~dontbugme.com~~ temp-mail.org email address, but my result would still be visible here with my reddit handle.

Do we even know the provenance of yourpersonality.net? Who controls it and are the results valid?

In contrast, https://www.attachmentproject.com/ is associated with a known authority (Daniel P Brown), and it doesn't require registration.

If you're going to require personal disclosure, at least make the subreddit private, so the disclosures aren't public. (Of course, never post anything online that you want kept private!)

EDIT: Oops, dontbugme.com is a pest control company! I suppose I was thinking of bugmenot.com, but what I meant was a temporary email address service, such as https://temp-mail.org/en/

I'm in therapy right now to cope with my FA responses so while I'm no expert, I relate. I also am AP with an earned Secure for some things in my life but it's a journey and I seem to to be back in AP/FA after life stressors.

Something I thought was interesting is that FA responses can show up more situationally for some and is often associated with trauma and that certainly rings true for me. I had a Secure partner for many years, then a DA who was also emotionally/psychologically abusive and I went from being AP that nervously settled into SA to being full on FA with my AP tendancies totally exiled for fear of losing myself.

I did gain some earned SA from being alone and therapy but getting back into a relationship of any emotional depth has been a minefield if FA triggers.

I have noticed that work on soothing my nervous system has been helpful, as well as work on self compassionn and "re-parenting"myself.

I'm going through this book now for practical steps to sooth my nervous system so my FA protests/triggers can be lessened: https://www.amazon.com/Befriending-Your-Nervous-System-Polyvagal/dp/1683644611

I am also trying to get in touch with the boundaries that I felt ever violated and the needs that weren't meet.

I notice I judge my reactions very harshly (or I feel the need to judge others very harshly so I don't have to be "in the wrong" for having needs) and I'm trying to work on bringing awareness to the thoughts that tell me that I'm wrong or unsafe for having needs and just care for that.

Not sure if that's helpful at all. I'm post theory of FA and more into the actively working through triggers that bring up my FA parts so I apologize if this isn't useful.

My therapist recommended this book to me and I just started it and oh boy! I think it's going to be life changing in the same way that Attached was: https://www.amazon.com/Befriending-Your-Nervous-System-Polyvagal/dp/1683644611

I'm not done it yet but it has a lot of great theory to understanding what is going on in my body and even more practical exploration and guides to getting in touch with my nervous system and learning to sooth it.

Highly recommend for anyone but as someone who is normal SA/AP leaning FA when triggered, I am finding it extremely helpful so far.

I used to be bulimic, and doing DBT therapy really helped me with it. I like this workbook, if you're into that sort of thing. There's excercises on self soothing and emotion regulation. I'm borderline, so the book really fits me, but it works for non borderline people too.

One thing I do now for urge management is "do 1 thing first". So if I'm trying to not eat ice cream or whatever, I make myself do 1 other thing first (clean dishes, vacuum, go outside, whatever), and the urge gets a little better just from putting it off for a few minutes. The more times I do it, the longer I can go before giving in to a behavior.

This one.

I found their YouTube channel and have been enjoying it, so I decided to give one of their books a shot.