Hmm. It happens. That love feeling comes and goes. Kids are for a lifetime, and living spaces, they change. Deciding can be done from a responsible adult perspective, or from the inner child perspective.
Because marriages are individual as the people inside them, a total stranger beginning to suggest to you what to do is dangerous. That said, there are two books you could read to give you full context into the questions that I think you are asking. Give them a read or a listen.
https://www.audible.com/pd/Loving-Your-Spouse-When-You-Feel-Like-Walking-Away-Audiobook/B07CYXFHP2
https://www.audible.com/pd/How-to-Break-Your-Addiction-to-a-Person-Audiobook/B06XCYZK7B?
They will help you ask more informed questions.
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
This is the one we have:
https://www.amazon.com/Sherlock-Holmes-Thames-Murders-Other/dp/2370990074
Realizing now it’s a bit pricey. It was a gift from my husband during COVID, but there are multiple cases so you play solving different cases and it’s very time consuming, so will def get your money out of it if you like this kind of stuff. But really any sort of murder mystery solving box could be fun.
Hi Spirit,
I’m sorry you are going through this most common of marriage killers - benign neglect that turns into calcified resentments, animosity and worse. None of it is intentional, in fact most of it is rug sweeping annoyances because you don’t want to fight. In the end it can become insurmountable.
First ask him and yourself, do you want to save this marriage? Remember, you both said “I DO!” Go some reason...
If both of you answer yes, then you’ve stopped well short of insurmountable. Can you ask parents or siblings to watch the kids for a long weekend or even a week? If so, can you s-end a weekend or week, just the two of you, spend the weekend/week talking, holding hands, cuddling, reminiscing on all of your great times. Maybe write each other a love letter. Tell each other why you life is better for your spouse being in it. Go to the Gottman institute website and pick a book to read together. I like the Seven Principles: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797
I think it would be a great basis for several dates nights as a marital book club. Read a section at a time and then do the exercises. Date night is discussion and comparing results.
>I still love him so I want to make sure that his needs are met 🤷♀️ he still deserves to be treated right and I want to show him I still care.
And yet amazingly, while you're more than willing to be a complete doormat for him because he's so 'deserving,' this jerk can't even show you the respect most of us show the common fruit fly.
Stop and really THINK about that for a while.
Read the book, "Why Men Love Bitches." No, it's not how to be a bitch - that's just a catchy title.
The book is about NOT being a doormat for a man and recognizing your VALUE. It sounds like you really need to read this - multiple times.
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Love-Bitches-Relationship/dp/1580627560
I am in your husband's spot with my hubby. He has been using these and it's SUCH a huge difference!! I actually can sleep and he gets better sleep because of it too.
Hello OP, here are a couple of audio books i recommend for your current situation 1st as you move on/out, and the 2nd what/how to build yourself up again to move forward. I feel for you in this situation, and for your kids but best to create a safe distance for you and the kids and minimize this toxic behavior that will impact the kids and further traumatize you along with waiting many formidable years to find a better partner or gain a better quality of life. Best of luck, and start using the 180 while you prep an exit plan and establish a good support network too.
Hi as a fellow female Christian who also waited I feel your pain. ❤️ Thing is, I expected it to be uncomfortable and painful the first couple of times (which it was and I was really upset but I knew it could get better with time, patience and practice). My husband was gentle and it can be really good when I'm in the right frame of mind and relaxed (and also well lubricated!)
I also found out 2 years into our marriage (now married 3.5 yrs) that I have Vaginismus. This means that sex will be painful until you get the right things to help with it. I've learned that using dilators, starting from the smallest and working my way up has really helped. I also have been doing pelvic floors and need much more foreplay before penetration.
Although I've been married longer than you, it still hurts at times because of my condition. It just takes time! Just relax into it and it will be amazing. There will be times when it's not so great as female we need much more mental effort for it. I highly recommend reading the book (which I'm about half way through) called 'Come as you are' where the author has studied sex in woman and what our brains do when it comes to sex. I can't remember the her name but will find it and post it here.
But my main advice to you is to relax and take your time. Stop thinking about how it's meant to be and just be in the moment with your husband and it will help (along with lots of lube!)
Come as You Are: the bestselling guide to the new science that will transform your sex life: 1 (Come As You Are, 1) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1925228010/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_6G5T6Y9X60ANCMGY3Y6T
I wish you the best of luck ❤️
OP, turn the tables around and put your OS in your place and how would you look/feel about the actions taken and what that means to your relationship/trust & respect? You need to have a clear understanding of the "Why" you initiated an EA so you can have a frank discussion with your husband and come clean about the whole situation if you have any intentions of putting your marriage back on track. You need to own every action; thought, and motivation or lack of effort or dissolution in your marriage and not on your OS. Don't blame shift; be 100% truthful, don't trickle truth him on anything and let him decide what's best for him and his family. Your saving grace is that you stopped it, but nevertheless you initiated; communicated, developed feelings, and met = affair. You might want to read "Women's Infidelity 2" 2008 by Michelle Langley to help you find some answers and then go to IC not MC he didn't do anything to compromise this marriage. You both have 8+ years invested into this relationship time to come to terms and let the hs "good old days" be just that and work on the present here and now. Best of luck, and keep us posted on your progress - sorry about the ass chewing just hate seeing when people go around playing with gas and matches and fear no consequences
But I can also recommend a book that my marriage counseling recommended to us that I found very insightful. It’s a great read.
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My wife and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Yep, you should be concerned.
​
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Living together before marriage, in my own personal opinion, is very important
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Of course it's valid
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My WIFE and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Alternatively, learn to communicate with your partner before you break down. If you're starting to feel lonely or down or overwhelmed, let your partner know so they can arrange their schedule to help you when it's easiest for them. It's incredibly frustrating to have to drop everything to run to a partner who has waited until they're in a crisis to ask for help.
I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My wife and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Not at all.
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
Bringing passion back into marriage
My husband and i have been married for quite a few years and things lately have gotten a little stale; we both work a lot and there doesn't seem to be a lot of passion left between us. I am looking for something we can do together to get us back to where we used to be. I was thinking of couples counseling but I don't know that it is too serious. We talked about having someone join us but i'm honestly too worried that will damage the relationship, as we're both kind of jealous people lol. I was thinking of asking him to try this game called Halos and Sins https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.courageousgames.halosandsins&hl=en\_US&gl=US Has anyone tried it or anything similar that worked for them? Any and all suggestions appreciated!*
play.google.complay.google.com
In addition to couples therapy, here are two suggestions:
Read "seven principles of making marriage work" https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553447718/
​
Go on a date night 1/week. Make it a top priority. Go to a place she likes preferably one where you have a bit of privacy (booths, etc). Both of you get out of the home and be a twosome again. Then let her talk. I understand this can be challenging given you special needs son. I hope that you can find a someone to assist with that. It's cheaper than a divorce.
I don’t have any “peer reviewed research”, but this guy’s advice lines up with a few well-regarded books by marriage and sex therapists.
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393334279?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060753641/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_SdO-FbTET610X
Step 1.) Stop masturbating until you have reached a mutually satisfied level of sexual intimacy within your marriage. Use this period of time to learn to enjoy different stimuli for sexual arousal- (I go into more detail about this below.) Step 2.) Avoid porn. (Main reason for this is to reroute neurological pathways in the brain to allow sexual arousal via other stimuli; smell, touch/texture, sounds, and tastes.
Also, would flattering lingerie and/or lighting potentially help at all? I recommend “babydoll” style chemises like this and this . Additionally, if you both were willing of course, maybe try blindfolded foreplay? The goal here is to limit your visual stimuli so that your other senses have the opportunity to be aroused; ask her to use a scent/shampoo that rouses you, she could wear stockings/thigh highs + garter in nylons/fishnets/lace stockings and experimenting with feeling the different textures, even limiting your visuals should heighten your pleasure from her touching you. Also, her using her breasts/hair/lacy lingerie/even a feather to sensually tickle/caress you are hot. Have fun experimenting and exploring together 😊 Just that right there could be helpful. Good luck!
There’s a great Gottman book called Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love: https://www.amazon.com/Eight-Dates-Essential-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/1523504463
The beauty of this book is it is meant to be read together so that you can share each other’s views on the areas covered. This will help you get on the same page about your expectations and desires.
Good luck OP.
You need to recommit to her and your marriage. If you want more sex, give her a reason to want that to. You do this the exact same way you romanced and got her to choose you in the first place. Marriage is not an end goal, it requires you to continue to commit to, love and romance each other. This isn’t lingerie gifts (that’s sex, which ok, but not in the absence of caring and love), this date nights you setup, C19 makes this more difficult but just means you need to be more creative.
If you pursue your wife the way you did when you first met her it is very likely you will get a positive response and will likely kindle desire on her side.
If you continue to neglect your relationship you can expect the quality of your married life to continue to degrade and this is often a way that marriages end in divorce because of the potentially years of resentments you will both likely build, don’t do it.
This is both a really easy fix and will reward both of you many times over with a much better marriage that is likely more sexual. Further, if she is feeling secure and loved by you she is far more likely to be more open to new sexual experiences with you.
Do this, you have your life, your marriage and your families happiness in your hands.
I suggest making changes unilaterally and waiting a few weeks to see if she notices a change. Then explain that you are recommitting to her and your marriage. If you might consider looking at some of the Gottman books like - The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
Maybe ask her if she is willing to read this as a two person book club. Do a section at a time and the exercises, then meet to discuss. This a bottle of wine and a pizza could be a fine series of date nights.
Good luck Thomnolyn, you can do this, many before you have and it will pay incredible dividend to both of you.
Al anon offers support for family members of alcohol users. I believe it is free. It may require you to go to a location, but the information would be worthwhile. There can be a lot of overlap between types of addictions and some will move from one addiction to another.
I think it's unfortunate that therapists wouldn't offer you support regarding your husband's issues. While it's more difficult to motivate your husband when he won't show up I think it's important to teach spouses how to respond in ways that motivate change. Perhaps your local library has this book https://www.amazon.ca/Motivational-Interviewing-Third-Helping-People/dp/1609182278/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=Stephen+Rollnick+Motivational+Interviewing&qid=1577582412&s=kitchen&sr=8-2
It is a textbook used to train therapists on how to motivate change in difficult clients. It has 4 basic principles: show empathy, develop discrepancy between current behavior and future goals, roll with resistance, and help clients develop skills. You may be able to get something useful out of it to help your husband become more receptive to therapists.
If money is an issue you could try finding some good books or blogs to help and see how far you can get without therapy. Setting some ground rules for an argument can make a big difference, as the name calling issue is something that needs to be addressed.
10 Tips for Turning Conflicts into Conversations https://www.savvymomstips.com/single-post/2019/01/01/Turning-Conflicts-into-Conversations
I have this book https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NVJ26QY/ref=dbs_a_def_awm_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i4 I haven't read it yet, but maybe a book like this could be helpful. Check reviews and see if you can find something to help create a dialogue about how to approach conflict.
For any lurkers who may have a fear of safety in their relationship, I suggest getting a risk assessment from a domestic violence agency to get some objective feedback on the relationship.
This book comes highly recommended for what makes lasting marriages.
You repeatedly say counselling isn't an option, but don't explain why.
I'm unclear if this is an inability to make a compromise work over a variety of issues or if it's one specific issue that is the only problem.
This book is based on psychological research about what makes relationships work. https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Gottman+marriage&qid=1549639067&s=Books&sr=1-1
Here's a blog post about how to approach disagreements in a more productive way. 10 Tips for Turning Conflicts into Conversations https://www.savvymomstips.com/single-post/2019/01/01/Turning-Conflicts-into-Conversations
This is just general advice, beyond that I'd have to know more about what the problem is or more specifics about attempted solutions to give you more specific suggestions.
You read the wrong books. Try this one.
https://www.amazon.ca/Rational-Male-Rollo-Tomassi/dp/1492777862
It will explain exactually why she is behaving the way she is and how it's your fault. It will explain the entirety of your experience with females up untill this one.
Good luck man.
Be careful, you can't unlearn it.
Everything you described sounds like he is depressed. Would his parents be supportive if you asked them to help you confront him for his need for counseling? It's an awkward thing to do, but as you've said he is capable of better than what he's living up to.
This book https://www.amazon.ca/Loving-Him-Well-Practical-Influencing/dp/0310341884/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1534209856&sr=8-1&keywords=loving+him+well+gary+thomas talks about how to give an ultimatum in a way men are responsive to. I'd think about what your three biggest priorities are for him to work on and make changes in your behavior that you need to make so that he isn't so dependent on you. One of my points would be to require him to go to counseling.
Dm if you need to.
"completely shocked as we have not been having issues.". Are you sure he's not seeing someone else? Taking a break is sometimes and easy way to end it.
If he is indeed willing to go to counseling, that's a good sign. What does he say he's upset about?
I'd recommend this book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060520620/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_OUfgzb4QQYYMT ...one of the best marriage books imo