What are /r/pnsd's favorite Products & Services?

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You have to feel all the emotions and then decide for yourself that your future children deserve better than a tool for their father. The father-children relationship is so important, so vital, so transformative. You want your kids to idolize and look up to their Dad and that's impossible to do if you choose poorly. It's your job to make sure the man you select has the leadership skills, generosity of character, and purity of soul to lead the family in the right direction. A lot of men look like good leaders on the surface but they're not and it's bc of poor character. Your boys will look up to their Dad as their template for how they should operate in the world, and your girls will look up to to their Dad as their template for who they should marry one day. I'm so lucky I have the world's greatest Dad and he set the bar very high.

Read this book to understand this pathway better - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Settle-Marry-Were-Meant/dp/1504368096.

How about a book? I finished one the other day about how to stop negative thinking (and other stuff). It was good! Take a look at it here maybe?

>Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Thank you! I can't afford therapy at the moment, but I was thinking of getting this workbook: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for PTSD: Practical Exercises for Overcoming Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

It's so crazy how I got one of these workbooks for my ex-husband, so he could work on his "bipolar disorder" ... little I knew that by trying to help him, I would be the one needing help afterward

A good therapist can put you on the path to healing. You may have to try several therapists before you find one that helps. Therapy is a tremendous amount of work but absolutely worth it.

I agree with the other commenter that EMDR, exercise, meditation, and yoga help. This book massively helped me and so did this one.

There's this book: "Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety" by Elinor Greenberg. It seems to have helped many narcissists (at least become aware). I have the PDF, so PM and will share it.

It's funny because (now that you asked), I realized that in my own suffering (post-discard), I also researched how to help my ex-husband with his Narcissistic Personality Disorder (even after filing for divorce). How stupid I feel... but that's what being empathetic feels like: feeling what the other may feel, and putting in their shoes to understand their actions.

Then, you need a therapist specialized in Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The types of therapies that work are:

• Schema Therapy
• Trauma Therapy
• Gestalt Therapy
• Transference-Focused Pyshotherapy
• Mentalization-based therapy
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy
• Metacognitive interpersonal therapy
• Supportive psychotherapy
• EMDR
• Sexual Therapy (In most situations there's some sort of repressed sexual trauma)
• Some people also claim they've made good progress with Psychedelic Therapy: mushrooms, or Ketamine Therapy

I, myself, don't have NPD, but I will still do Ketamine Therapy as soon as I can afford it, since I've read it helps with trauma

Good job! You are doing the right things. You are not alone in this journey. I, too, was furious when I realized what had happened, all of the different types of abuse and the gaslighting.

I suggest joining a private FB support group if you haven't already. They are so helpful, and free!

Here is a book to help in avoiding narcs in the future: The Top 50 Red Flags of Romantic Predators: How to Avoid the Narcissist's Trap https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08287P2Q8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_Z712RKJNCTKJTZBRZCPE

No, you're overconfident, & you'll end up in the same situation and get hurt again.

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It'll take time to fix yourself, as a narcissistic relationship puts you in your sympethetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze mode) for too long.

When your mind recognizes cues that you faced in this relationship or earlier in your childhood, you'll repeat the same behavior.

That's why either work with a therapist or read good books on codependency. You need to heal the psychological wound.

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Here's one I highly recommend: Codependent No More.

Work on the exercises & practice mindfulness meditation: carefully watch where your thoughts are. Are you constantly anxious? If yes, then that's your messed up nervous system & you need to do more work to fix yourself.