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Shake the turkey leg. It should be loose. Cut into the turkey or pierce with a fork in several places and see if the juices run clear (not red).

The article below gives more info.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-tell-if-a-turkey-is-done_n_983943

Oh, and perhaps you'll find some inspiration in this meal from 2015. It was the first time I felt at ease enough with the process to document it as I went.

https://www.smugmug.com/gallery/n-6g2RBG/

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And don't sweat the small stuff. Most people aren't terribly critical and want to lend a hand anyway. If they come early, set 'em to prep work. If they're coming late, have 'em bring a dessert or a side dish.

I have the luxury of being the cook but not the host. I do some prep work at home but bring it all to my in-laws' house. I also get a lot of help from willing hands and that makes a big difference.

Prep as many things as possible ahead. If you can throw it in the oven the day before do it. Try to have a variety of dishes, you can make less of each, which is more manageable. Record what you plan to do, record what you actually do, and make note of how it went. You will feel as frazzled as hell, I expect! It does get a bit easier with practice, at this point I've got it to a routine.

For inspiration, here's our 2015 meal. It was the first year that I felt comfortable enough to take time for photography: https://www.smugmug.com/gallery/n-6g2RBG/

thanks for this! you make it sound doable :D

I have an instant-read similar to this https://www.amazon.com/ThermoPro-Digital-Instant-Thermometer-Kitchen/dp/B01IHHLB3W/ but would be willing to get a leave-in if that would be better

Oh I also picked up a couple of these super cute tea light holders at the dollar store. I have one in the living room, and another on the counter in the bathroom. I'm in love!! This is the link to some Amazon seller trying to resell them for 10x the price. They're at Dollar Tree and distributed by greenbriar (Dollar Tree brand) for $1 I promise.

Tea Light Mason Jar 16oz, Black Lid https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LLSXGZA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_QMvHDb8ERY003