This is actually something that a lot of experts do recommend and what I love about it is that she let's him play/explore instead of parking him in front of the TV, so yay for the nanny!
A few things I've learned about this:
I'd never accept my kid being left to cry or be upset, but if he's happy to spend that hour by himself (which is a GREAT skill for toddlers to have: independent play), I'd follow the nanny's lead and do quiet time on weekends, too.
ETA: My obligatory shilling of the IG @biglittlefeelings, co-run by an AP toddler psychologist, who recommend quiet time for non-napping toddlers. I'm not affiliated with them in any way, just find them tremendously helpful.
Someone posted a recent post about bedtime and it is similar to what we do with our 18 month old. We don't exactly do a schedule but rather a pattern. After dinner we give our daughter a bath and then we turn down the lights and I lay in the bed and read inviting her to lay with me. My husband will go out on his computer for the first hour but if she doesn't come to bed he will come in and lay on the bed. We turn on sleep music and are quite inviting her to wind down for the night. Most of the time she goes down with in the hour and it asleep by 8. We also make sure we go for a walk in the afternoon so she gets exercise and this helps most of the time. Since we have had some issues recently due to teething and a growth spurt I bought a blue light blocking lightbulb and night lights to see if this helps. We bed share and she still nurses but some nights are better then others. You are not a bad parent you child is just going through a transition and is in a rough spot. I would check out the book How to talk so little kids will listen.How to talk so little kids will listen
This book might help you and your daughter communicate better.
There’s a lovely book about attachment parenting called ‘kiss me’ it’s by a Spanish paediatrician Kiss Me: How to Raise your Children with Love https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1780663137/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_DPQC324AJ3F0SJZSKCKW
It’s in English
Do you think you could get them a visual timer like this and ask them to show it to him to signal when the next snack is and for them to just tell him “okay you can have another snack when the red is all gone”? I’m a teacher of littles and they really respond well to being able to actually see when “later” is since they don’t understand time yet.
Yeah for me it’s always been easier to limit toddlers to a gated safe space than to give them freedom and try to manage it. Some kids are just drawn to dangerous activities, but I don’t think an 18m old is really ready to be climbing all over everything. Can you create a space that has challenging but safe obstacles that can be climbed and played with safely? Some ideas:
Stacked boxes with pillows to jump into
Bouncing toys like https://www.amazon.com/Hopper-Included-Inflatable-Jumping-Bouncy/dp/B007LX889E
A little trampoline
Hammock to swing in
Do you have access to an outdoor space, playground, or park? That’s always the best option. The need to be physical and move is so strong in kids so use it to your advantage to get him all worn out. Let him play hard all morning than he will be ready for a nice big lunch then a nap. Do it day after day to get into a nice routine. Activity and movement makes for a more mentally balanced child.
I love this mattress protector - has worked for leaking boobs and leaking babies.
SafeRest Full Size Premium Hypoallergenic Waterproof Mattress Protector - Vinyl Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PWNGQU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_XCH89MGPM8HWK93KR2KP?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We use these.
I've bought 3 and haven't had any problems with them. They work great and are really cheap considering.
Maybe even one like this and they can say “Okay, [child’s name], when the light turns green that means you can have a snack!” And he’ll probably check it VERY often at first but eventually he’ll start to forget and won’t even notice when it turns green as they set the intervals further apart.
But I would also tell them do NOT limit my baby’s communication unless it is harmful to someone in some way!
I understand your stress. It's a matter of statistics ; nobody can really tell you how safe it is. My now 3 year-old slept on his tummy all along. He had an incredibly strong Moro reflex which woke him up every 15 minutes. He refused being swaddled, from birth, and got out of any swaddling blankets (even the ones closed by "experts"). Yes, his pediatrician was aware and in agreement, given that there were no other health problems. I researched the heck out of it and made a decision to let him sleep on his tummy so that he could go for "long" stretchs of ... oh, like 25 minutes to 1 hour :( ... this went on for about 2 years... (kill me).
Anyway... I don't think anybody can tell you exactly how worried you should be, but here's some info that may help calm your fears : set up a fan in the room. A 2008 study showed less risk of SIDS with a fan in the room, here's a WebMD article about it. 72% reduction in risk... sign me up :D It has another advantage... soft white noise :)
Good luck mama, try to relax... I remember the cracked nipples from the first days, ouch !!! Coconut oil worked for me. It will all work out :) <3
I ended up buying a memory foam bumper from Amazon, rather than noodles, because I can squish it down into a bag.
Also, LOVE this sound machine.
Banana, apple sauce, pear. Sometimes I freeze some frozen bites of fruit and put it in those fruit feeders. Like these I linked...But really not much gets eaten during the bad teething days! Best of luck. It sucks for everyone!
I highly highly highly recommend Holistic Sleep by Lyndsey Hookway.It has many age-appropriate gentle sleep techniques that do not leave baby to cry alone. There are also night-weaning resources on this sub’s wiki that may help you.
I agree that it sounds like comfort nursing. When I was ready to be done nursing for my own sanity and had a boob addict, I swapped to the bottle with whatever pumped milk I had left in the freezer and then after he had been eating solids for most meals anyway, I swapped to a toddler formula in a bottle, bone broth, or milk in a bottle. Whenever he asked for nursing, I'd happily oblige, grab a bottle and cuddle up with him on the couch and pop the bottle into his mouth. He'd take a few sips, enjoy some cuddles, then get up and go play again. He wasn't hungry - he wanted a few minutes of close connection with me, and he got that and moved on.
As far as the nails, I absolutely recommend the Simba Nail Baby Safety Scissors and buy them for every friend as soon as I find out they are pregnant. My kids are now 7 and 4 and I still use these same nail scissors to trim their nails without complaints and without accidental cuts. I was able to use these scissors to trim nails on wide awake babies because I could actually see what was getting cut, the blade was super short, and it was over in a few seconds.
this is the one I used. hopefully I linked that correctly. It has an adjustable height, can be lashed to the bed frame, and the legs are offset so you can get it right up next to the bed. I really liked it.
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Again thank you
My 5 year old has always been needy at night and I’m always there with him when he falls asleep. But he’s an only child so it’s possible for me to do so.
My son did start waking up a lot and so I just ordered this for him:
Roore 5 lb Weighted Blanket for Kids I 36"x48" I Weighted Blanket with Plush Minky Teal Removable Cover I Weighted with Premium Glass Beads I Perfect for Children from 40 to 60 lb https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07V4Q85BW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fab_ZMnDFb8YCNWF5
He wakes up because he kicks off his blanket and then gets cold.
I’m hoping the weight will keep the blanket on.
I don’t know if it would help your daughter feel like she was more secure with it.
I don’t have a good solution for you though I’m sorry! We live in a small apartment so we all share a bedroom.
This LUCID folding mattress is actually what I slept on with my son from 5-9 months. We had a temporary living situation at the time which is why I bought it instead of a regular mattress. If you buy a mattress cover and a fitted sheet there is no fold gap for the baby to get stuck in.
My son is now 3 and we use it to make forts and slides and I use it for guests when they stay over.
I moved my mattress to the floor-- it's not pretty but it works? And they do make these mesh bed rail thingies you could try to attach to the sides. Like this: https://www.amazon.com/Dream-Me-Mesh-Security-Rail/dp/B00MTJWT68/ref=sr_1_6?crid=7XSMENBGJYGR&keywords=bed+rails+mesh&qid=1669822447&sprefix=bed+rails+mesh%2Caps%2C73&sr=8-6
I'm here cause my kid is 6 months and does EXACTLY what you describe and I am feeling the same way. Solidarity.
Also happened to me! My second was brutal at 3. I specifically remember him cuddling up with dad and saying "Dada, I love you" with his chubby angelic smile, then turning to look at me and deadpan saying "but not you Mama" like some kind of Omen Child. It was funny when I had good days, and devastating when I was having a rough day. I always responded "That's ok, I love you anyway" and then one time after I had a really rough day, I just cried. I told him I love you anyway, and just bawled. He comforted me by patting my head.
Later when I was calm, I told him that I was a person too, with feelings and when he tells me he doesn't love me, it hurts my feelings. I said he doesn't have to love me and I will love him anyway, but I didn't like the way it made me feel when he says "I don't love you." He didn't stop right away, but it did get better after that. By 4, he was polar opposite - I love yous all around, I love you to the mail carrier, I love you to the people walking down the street, and now he's in Kindergarten and I still get the I love yous nonstop and it's wonderful.
I know this is probably not the book for a good portion of the AP crowd, but Bunmi Laditan's "Toddlers are Assholes: It's Not Your Fault" got me through a lot of this with her humor - it's not a parenting book, it's just a straight up comedy book, completely tongue-in-cheek. But it helped me not feel like I was failing. Toddlers can be rough and knowing mine was just acting like every other toddler a-hole helped me stay relaxed when things were tough and be able to react with love instead of frustration.
I had to comment because the 😵💫 is exactly how I feel about older-than-1 baby sleep too 😵💫 so many people say their baby's sleep got better at 1... 😵💫
Ugh the toddler tumbling routine is the worst. Maybe something like this that she can focus on and drift back to sleep? https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Soothe-Glow-Seahorse-Blue/dp/B00P4CEV5Y/ref=zg_bs_166884011_sccl_11/135-4242932-4051143?pd_rd_i=B00P4CEV5Y&psc=1
I have no idea really. Suffer thru 2 more months while desperately hoping that at 18 months baby sleep will actually get better?
Bed Rail for Toddlers & Infants –... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S3XRRKW?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I got three. There are gaps in the corners, but that’s how I get in and out without having to put the whole rail down, and I prop pillows up when I leave. They won’t keep her from jumping out of bed if she really wants to, but so far they’ve kept her from crawling or falling out in the amount of time it takes for me to get upstairs when I see her wake up on the monitor.
Lillebaby too! I got it for my oldest when he was 2 and we were going to go to a convention that didn't let us use strollers. Have had it now for 7 years and still use the Lillebaby toddler carrier when my family goes on hikes - 5 year old gets tired, he asks to go in "The Backpack" for a break and I can keep my hands free for hiking. https://www.amazon.com/L%C3%8DLL%C3%89baby-CarryOn-Toddler-Carrier-Charcoal/dp/B06XJ5V9L3/
Daniel Tiger is excellent for stuff like this. I also always tell stories at night about what an upcoming adventure will be. Also, play dolls where a doll goes to school.
What you’re describing isn’t abnormal at all for a 23 month old, “covid baby” or not. I mean to say, you didn’t ‘do’ this to him, this is just normal toddler behavior. Sharing willingly and enthusiastically is a much higher level skill. Sharing at all is not developmentally appropriate until 3.5-4 years old. Maybe you will find this article helpful. I’d also really recommend this book called ‘It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids’!
I know 4 may seem young, but have you considered finding a therapist who specializes in play therapy? A lot of play based therapy helps children even as young as 3 to identify and begin to use developmentally appropriate coping skills.
I'm also a big fan of using books with younger kids as it can make emotions more concrete. I really like this series:
Spot of Emotions
Teaching her to identify emotions and label them can go a long way in appropriately communicating her feelings. They books also have very basic coping skills (quick deep breathing exercises, etc) that you can use with her when she is upset. You can remind her to name her emotions and then use a coping skill when she becomes upset.
I’m not sure if this is actually the best solution but it is what has worked for us. When he leads me to the door, I “try” to open it and tell him “oh no, I can’t open it. I guess we will have to go out later.” It seems to work fairly well with a bit less crying than just no.
When he got to the point of being able to unlock and open the door himself, we put a new lock on that he can’t reach. He now knows if that is locked we can’t go out so he doesn’t really even try. If he sees that lock open he will try to be sneaky and let himself out but he is very obvious about it (smiling, looking at us then the lock, slowly moving towards it) so we usually get it locked before he gets out lol.
Something like this? FeelAtHome Bed Bridge Twin to King Converter Kit - Twin Bed Connector King Maker - Bed Gap Filler to Make Twin Beds Into King - Mattress Connector with Strap for Guests Stayovers https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07C2TQRVN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_EXZW9CK9SGNGJGYNA9XE?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I went with this because it has slats and was not compressed wood.
Twin Full or Queen House Bed with railings Handmade in the USA https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MVJXMW1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_QPC5XQ4VR91EAXBNCAJV
Serta - 7 inch Cooling Gel Memory Foam Mattress, Full Size, Medium-Firm, Supportive, CertiPur-US Certified, 100-Night Trial - for Ewe https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08Z4488BQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FSY9D1G20YDAPWEPGBQB?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
My husband originally bought a 12 inch mattress and we returned it. It was way too high. This 7 inch mattress in the bed frame is maybe 8-9 inches off the floor. Perfect for a baby to climb in/out of. It’s firm. The website says medium.
I got Amazon basics sheets/ jersey cotton.
I debated on doing a toddler bed with the crib mattress and decided against it because 1) I couldn’t easily or comfortably co sleep if needed 2) bigger seemed better for our baby- she was used to sleeping in a queen with just me or a California king when we slept with dad - when we tried getting her used to the crib she’d wake herself up by rolling into the sides. 3) shes 90th percentile and likely outgrow it quicker
My SIL passed down a ring sling, which I once attempted to figure out and gave up and an ergobaby which seemed good for when baby was a newborn but kind of complicated to put on and off. Then I got a Moby easy wrap carrier as a baby shower gift, this one is indeed easier but I felt the baby wasn’t super comfortable in it and felt too tight but maybe I was doing something wrong.
A few weeks ago I decided to get something else to try it and the. I could return it if I didn’t like it. I decided on this one
And I’ve really liked it! It’s super easy to put baby in and out of by yourself and seems very comfortable for him. I also like all of the options for positions to wear baby like and the hip seat only option seems super useful.
"The Magical Land of Hearts" book is so fun for kids, it's a rhyming bedtime story in a magical Heart-themed world! It brings you through an enchanted day in the Land of Hearts, and ends with a sweet goodnight hug - highly recommend! :) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09Z7SQSHW
Thank you! Which dream on me do you have, this one? Which mattress and sheets do you use for it? Do you check it or bring it as a carryon?
I got these two pillows to go between my legs and behind my back, and found that they were much more comfortable than using regular pillows. I also feel less nervous about having them near baby.
Everlasting Comfort Knee Pillow for Sleeping - Prevents Knee Clashing - Hip, Lower Back, Leg, and Sciatic Nerve Pain Relief Pillows for Side Sleepers https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07995B8L1/
Everlasting Comfort Bolster Pillow for Legs and Back - Pure Memory Foam Half Moon Sleeping Pillow https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NPTXTFV/
An alternative is to use a big C shaped pregnancy pillow behind your back and tuck it between your knees, but I needed something that held my legs just a bit further apart.
We have this one: Twin Size Traditional Japanese... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UKJHVIA?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
However I kind of wished we had gotten a Nugget and used it for play during the day and mattress at night
I have one for camping that I love
Milliard Tri Folding Mattress with Washable Cover - Queen (78 inches x 58 inches x 4 inches) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W67PCTE/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_T80P3CM2C994GWCJ15HP?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We slept on this for a couple of weeks while we waited for our new bed to arrive and it was perfect, we also used it last year camping when I was six months pregnant. Its very firm so your body does not dig into the ground, but surprisingly comfortable. Everyone who stays at my house overnight on it has absolutely loved it. I will note the price has doubled since buying mine a year ago. Also this company makes reasonabley priced regular mattresses that are also VERY comfortable if you like a stiffer bed.
I think we have this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083BR7MRJ/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_8XQ1C87E5HTPHQWW2RFB it was similarly priced on Amazon, in a full size. Definitely not as thick and soft as it looks, but comfy enough when placed on top of a carpet. We have a mattress up against a wall, and then this on the floor next to it as a kind of landing pad, that she usually ends up on the second half of the night. I don't think it's the comfiest over night, but I usually only end up sharing with her in the early AM.
I use a knee pillow and it’s absolutely saved my hips and even my back to some extent. I don’t remember if it was massage or chiropractor that recommended it but boy does it help.
I think they're great to keep baby safe when you need to step away from them. I'm alone with my baby for most of the day so when I want to shower or have to get something done on my computer and can't keep an eye on him, I put him in a playpen. He's very good at independent play and has a blast in there with his toys. I have this one and I'm very happy with it. It's lightweight but sturdy. I just filled the bottom with foam mats.
EIH Baby Playpen, Playpen for Babies and Toddlers Indoor & Outdoor Kids Activity Center with 50 Ocean Balls Small Baby Playard Breathable Mesh Kids Safety Play Area, 47in x 47in https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09BKTQ5CN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_QHAM4EK6SYK0Q4J71FVX?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Yes! I might have to bring mine outside for a similar reason soon. We have concrete steps in the front of our house and mine loves escaping the back yard to stand at the steps and taunt me like he’s gonna fall off. Which I’m sure would happen eventually and he’s so fast getting over there!
Right now I have something like these set up to block off the backyard and it’s working for now anyway:
Amagabeli Decorative Garden Fence 18in x50ft Rustproof Green Iron Landscape Wire Folding Fencing Ornamental Panel Border Edge Section Edging Patio Flower Bed Animal Barrier for Dog Outdoor Fences FC02 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LZU1IF7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_81FYTDRCKE1ERV7S6NT7
Oh, this reminds me. We used this thing in the car too. It's meant for a crib but it totally works in the car, if you don't mind the noise while you're driving.
Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother Musical Crib Toy and Sound Machine, Newborns Plus https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07DM86Z43/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_TWT8KB0YGT0B19YCD5H7
We use this one with our 3yo. It has a nice light when he hugs it and plays music and you can control the settings with your phone. He still joins us in our bed by 3am, but he brings his bunny and he cuddles it to sleep in his bed for the beginning of the night.
Fisher-Price Hoppy Soother & Sleep Trainer, Plush Musical Toddler Toy with Sleep Training Tool Lights and Sounds https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08B27LPRD/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_XR7Q80AQE25WB6VT1H7Q?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I don’t know how you feel about essential oils, but I got a diffuser and a sleepy time blend and it’s been great for my daughter.
Here’s how we did it with our then 6-month old last summer:
We got one of those foam puzzle floor mats in the same size as the footprint of the tent. This way the entire floor of the tent was safe for him to roll and crawl around on (he wasn’t crawling yet but it would have been) and he didn’t even wake up when he rolled off the camping pad. He actually ended up sleeping on the floor most of the time just next to me.
Queen size camping mattress. We got this one and it was great. Just threw a queen size sheet and slept with our regular comforter on it and we were totally comfy. Plus the foam pad beneath and it didn’t matter how rocky or root-y the ground beneath was at all.
Clamp-on travel high chair. They can easily fit on any picnic table at the campsite.
A cordless stick vacuum. Cannot recommend enough for keeping the tent clean!!
Dimmable solar lanterns for getting in and out of the tent at night after the kiddos have gone to sleep.
A cordless white noise machine if you use white noise at home.
A waterproof beach blanket
And since your kids are more mobile than mine was, metal play enclosure to put around the fire pit.
We use this galaxy projector as our night light and I'm obsessed with it. It's fun and relaxing and it doesn't impact my sleep at all.
I got this one. I love that it folds down. My daughter is only five months and not rolling over yet, but it makes me feel better having it there just in case, since she sleeps on my side.
I used this Bed rail with our king bed, but my son was a little older (around 5-6 months). Make sure you use the straps to secure it so there's no space between the bed and rail. If you don't use the straps it can easily move and baby can fall or get stuck.
Before that I put a body pillow under the fitted sheet so it created a barrier he couldn't roll over. Make sure the fitted sheet is really tight. I would try it while your baby is napping (and you watching) a few times to see how they do and if you need to make any adjustments or try something else. I was always a really light sleeper so any movement my son did would wake me so I was always hyper aware of his position in the bed, but it worked pretty well for us. When he was able to crawl around or I thought he could roll over the barrier we switched to the rail.
I got this type and loved them. This isn’t the exact brand I got (it is no longer available) but it is the type we got. I used them from about 8 months until 23 months.
It was nice when he got to the stage of not wanting to calm down right away for bed, I could pretty much have us both “trapped” in a queen size pack n play while he ran around on the bed and I waited for him to calm down. Also in the morning when I wasn’t quite ready to wake up, I knew he was safe on the bed while I rested a little longer. They were also relatively easy to take apart and take with us when we traveled.
Our 4 month old hates the nose Frida so we got this instead. It actually just tickles her nose and makes her laugh.
Watolt Baby Nasal Aspirator - Electric Nose Suction for Baby - Automatic Booger Sucker for Infants - Battery Powered Snot Mucus Remover for Kids Toddlers https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08N5DGG94/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_TCE4SANCTB8SCDXK0RK6?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I invested in this giant baby jail and it has been super handy! It has little handles to pull herself up on, is big enough that she doesn’t feel like she’s sitting in a play pen (I didn’t actually do the math before ordering, and was surprised how huge it is). I usually leave one of the doorways unzipped unless I really need her confined for a bit. I put a thick blanket down, because it doesn’t come with a pad. It’s been great for letting her tumble, etc. It’s also big enough that I can get in it to play with her.
That's a really hard situation! I have a daughter the same age!
I think even if we gentle parent, we have to draw lines on this is one, I think. Here's some ideas:
Natural consequences - take them to a place where you know it's uncomfortable to walk but won't really hurt them. Say something like, "oh, the ground here looks rough. Shoes might make it easier to walk. Do you want to wear your shoes? No, ok......."
Involve them in show shopping and/or find fun shoes. We just got our daughter (same age) these shoes with squeeks inside.
I keep recommending this book to everyone because it's been so helpful for us. How to talk so little kids will listen. It has so many tools. Offer choices, make it playful/a game, talk about progress made on a task vs. what's left to be done...
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 (The How To Talk Series) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/150113163X/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_DV88V1E1BR4RGFQEW0187
I think I'm your situation, you could make a choice "go on the balcony with shoes or stay inside without".
Another thought is having their feet checked with peds and discuss/think about sensory troubles.
Best of luck to you two!
Just did some searching around for sidecar crib and found this one. The reviews say it’s like an extension of the bed and is bigger than the bassinet. Check it out and let me know what you think!
So my son is almost a year and is very, very big but I still don’t have him in the regular tub. We rent and I’m just not comfortable with him being in there due to some little cracks around the drain. Nothing major but I just no. So we use this! You can deflate the middle bubble for more room as she sits better but mine still has tons of room to kick and splash :)
Boysea Inflatable Baby Bathtub with Air Pump, Bathtub Seat with Anti-Sliding Saddle Horn for Newborn to Toddler, Portable Travel Shower Basin with Back Support, Deflates and Folds Easily https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08ZDDSQL3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_KHP0BJ1WW0VVV85RGJC1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Can you stay at an airbnb? I find when visiting family, it definitely helps to have some separation.otherwise, whwn we camp, we bring this super thick self inflating pad. You dont have to worry about it losong air because its mostly foam, but it has some air to give more comfort. Its 4 inches thick and 1 dpuble pad is perfect for me and baby. When car camping, we bring 2 for us and the kids and its the best sleep ive ever had camping.
Hikenture 4 INCH Thick Self Inflating Sleeping Pad with 9.5 R Value, Comfort Plus Camping Mattress with Pump Sack, Inflatable Foam Insulated Camping Pad, Portable Camping Mat for 4-Season https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09GK7Q6MP/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_P5EZXDZN34ECTCX68PB3
While traveling I slept with a baby on the floor where baby was on the crib mattress on the ground and I was on something like this . I think it's too soft for baby to safely sleep on his stomach but if he's a back sleeper, it's a good size and folds up nicely! And you can safely bring baby over to get back to sleep or nurse. And honestly more comfortable than an air mattress. Good luck with family!!!
We got my son a learning tower around 1 year and he’s a wonderful kitchen helper!! He’s 18 months now and can poor in small amounts of spices and all kinds of things without spilling! I highly recommend a little kid veggie chopper too!
Zhanmai 2 Pieces Wooden Kids Knife for Cooking, Cute Fish Dinosaur Shape Kitchen Toy Chopper Vegetable and Fruit Cutter, Kitchen Tool Toys Wooden Knife Sets for Kids, 4.3 x 3.6 x 0.6 Inch https://www.amazon.com/dp/B099NHKX7S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_62M85BZ2WNN64W83MJE3
U/peasantstew has articulated the challenge well I think and it sounds like you are really open to trying something different too. That’s hopeful! I don’t know much about your relationship with your partner - this is only appropriate if you and your partner both feel reasonably safe in the relationship - but Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson provides a really good template for having these triggering/emotionally laden conversations with your partner from an attachment-based perspective. The book provides some explanation, examples, and then questions that serve as prompts to have the conversation with your partner.
If either you or your partner doesn’t feel reasonably safe, or if you try this and feel that you’re still getting stuck then I’d seek a consultation with a marriage therapist trained in emotion-focused therapy (EFT), which is a type of couples therapy that is built around attachment theory, and is also evidence-based. Another evidence-based option (though not explicitly attachment oriented) is someone trained in Gottman’s approach. Another caveat - the evidence-based approach is only one part of what makes good therapy outcomes, so just “a good fit” with a therapist for you and your partner also matters immensely if you end up going this route.
Sending you my compassion and warm wishes today on your journey! Having children - especially those first few years - is a big adjustment to our most significant relationships, so I think the fact that you’re thinking and talking about this is a massive strength.
Amazon! Mami Bamboo Muslin Security Blanket Cute Baby Lovey, 13 x 13 inches, Baby Gift (Cream Teddy Bear) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097Q2XKBN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_7ESX2A12XZ4E878D0GT1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Mine only chews the toothbrush and doesn't allow me to properly brush so I got here something like this ZALUJMUS Kids U-Shaped Whole Mouth Teeth Brush, Silicone Bristles Massage Gums, All-Round Cleaning (for Kids 2-6Y) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0978W5MRG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apan_glt_i_WJQH1JH1A1TFNG2BZC6V
I was coming here to say something about a toddler bed/ foot rest. I'm not sure what the bassinet is like but here is the footrest for reference OP.
Inflatable Travel Pillow Bed/Leg Rest for Kids to Lie Down & Sleep on Long Flights, Long Distance Journeys in Cars, on Buses or Trains. Elevate Your Legs for Better Circulation. Gray. by KUKI https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06ZYSKSZ4/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_7W2C03XP2FFGWY9VSRW9
We did this! We added on that everyone in the room also wore a mask, and all masks had to be on for the TV to be on. That allowed us to model the behavior and normalize it, and allowed her control- (I pause the show if she took off her mask or it slipped below her nose). So at the beginning one of the adults would purposefully move their mask off and the other parent would pause the video. She would then gleefully get to tell us that we weren’t wearing our masks right!
The other caveat is that most masks are huge for a two year old’s face. I found these and they are a lot better fit and pretty comfortable, and that helps a ton.
We got a stuffed animal with a heating pack inside and would lay that in the crib for 10 min before baby went into the crib. Then we’d rocker her to sleep and lay her down with the stuffie over her legs to simulate our pressure. Wild Baby Dragon Stuffie
My daughter is 6 months old and has been using a Grobag since she was 5 months. We keep the house around 68 during the day but it gets cold at night. She sleeps with us and I do occasionally put the blankets over her legs even with the Grobag. I am breastfeeding so her face is usually close to my best or she sleeps on her back.
Everyone is gonna do it differently. I feel safe with blankets below her bellybutton.
I had similar to this with my eldest baby (she's now 12) because I was super worried about rolling over onto her in my sleep.
With my youngest I just co slept because my husband was up all night and did the night feeds so he'd sit in bed on his laptop to keep an eye out
Yes, look up the safe sleep 7! There are lots of ways to reduce risk and co-sleep safely ♥️ I also highly recommend the book Safe Infant Sleep by James McKenna. It’s a quick read. No need to feel guilty at all, just figure out how to make your bed sharing environment as safe as it can be and enjoy those snuggles and zzzs
Similar to this.
Twin Loft Beds for Kids, Metal Loft Bed with Slide, No Box Spring Required (White Loft Beds) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08L6HWQ9D/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_J1VC8J34QG55QX32WEP3?psc=1
This amazing book explains very well how a
Child’s brain developed and what they need from us to support healthy development
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0553386697/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_K88K39J62D4NRB3HBTGA
I put my middle child into a floor bed when he was 12 months old and wish I'd done it before that! I didn't put rails on it but I did put a padded rug beside the bed in case he rolled out. You're probably not in the UK but I'll link the one I got anyway. His sister is in the top bunk and they love it. We painted it for them and plan to add a canopy above the top bunk if we ever have the time!
Strictly Beds and Bunks - Stockton Low Sleeper Bunk Bed, 3ft Single https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07QBQBJVZ/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_ZWGKQEST52SW0Q4VXMWR?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
GoXteam Baby Lounger Baby nest,Ultra Safe Feeling to Cluddle Newborn,Protect Infant Spine,Crib&Bassinet Suitable,Portable to Indoor&Outdoor,Baby Gift for Napping,Co Sleeping |Reversible：Animal+Grey https://www.amazon.com/dp/B091F4YCWZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_NBHY99KNW082DEZ6D695?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We used this until we moved the boy to the crib. Worked great.
The only thing that works for my son is cosleeping. Once he gets to sleep he’s usually good if I want to get up myself for some me time before I sleep. I have a full size mattress on the floor so he doesn’t have any danger of hurting himself falling out if/when he wakes up. He does have some trouble falling back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night, and for that I have Dr Talbots chamomile tablets. They work wonders for my boy.
Dr. Talbot's Chamomile Soothing Tablets, Quick Dissolve, 140 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077HWQQYF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_13DR04ZJVCQYT18H64HW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We bought a very simple wood iKea bed frame (and mattress) and cut down the legs, which was fairly easy and much more affordable than some of the branded floor bed frames. We have a foam bumper that goes under the mattress (amazon - set of 2) and like it a lot, very effective and not as bulky or annoying to get around as railings.
That was around the age of our first 8 hour trip. Not gonna lie, it sucks to drive that far. Usually you can get on a schedule of drive during a nap time, stop and change and get them out of the seat, and then ideally be back in the car for another nap. So the 8 hour trip becomes 12 hours quite easily.
And at that age we started the trip later in the day and by the end the baby was ready for “bed” and we could stop, eat, chase into pajamas and do one last 3 hour stretch where she would sleep straight through. I know they say 2 hours at a time, but at that point we just wanted to get there! Sure she would wake up when we got there but it was worth it.
For in the car, depending on your kid, mine loved a toy bar like this-VTech Baby On-The-Moove Activity Bar https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019ICFWQW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_WYQWXMZYR47SN4456JH3.
For cosleeping, if you can’t find a travel bassinet, make sure the mattress is as firm as possible, and put the mattress directly on the floor if you can. Small pillow tucked under your arm and either no blankets or a light one for you up to your waist. Obviously Baby is on your side and not in between you and your partner. No loose strings on your clothes. Dress the baby in fewer layers than usual as your body heat will keep her warmer than usual.
We used a Mika Micky bassinet side-carred to the bed. I have also read of people using a Moses basket or something similar to get baby used to being on the floorbed without being totally exposed at first.
My daughter has (this)[https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075MWYMNC/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_HNF5GVVET0SVEV5Q07R2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1] under her twin floor bed. I simply didn't install the wheels. Two of them next to each other would be good for a king mattress!
My son is fond of watching cartoons and I only allow him to watch about 30 mins every day. Appropriate entertainment can bring them happiness, but it should be limited.Children shouldn't have too much time to the digital device.It's nothing wrong to limit screen time with a parental control app. They not only need to access the digital world, but also need to have more interaction with the real world
My 12-year-old younger brother has used an Android phone for almost 2 years. He needs a phone to contact us in case he is bullied or needs help at school. My parents have always told my bro the rules and standards of using a phone. No porn videos, sites, and violent games. If he doesn't follow these rules, the phone will be taken back ASAP.
Most of the time, he follows the rules strictly. But there are also cases when he opened the inappropriate links and videos which were sent from his classmates. My parents found this by checking web history on my his phone. Quickly, they would chat with my bro in a flexible way. Bear in mind that yelling and screaming are not recommended. So long as effective measures are taken, it may be not that dangerous.
BabyBay has been recommended to me.
I am debating doing the same thing and I already took apart my crib, and it’s a huge pain in the butt so I’d rather not use it. I was looking at this ANGELBLISS 4 in 1 Baby Bassinet Beside Sleeper, Full-Size Crib with Washable Sheets, Playards Easy Folding, Playpen Include Thicken Mattress, Diaper Changer, Storage Basket for Babies (Grey) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097DKFN2Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ZMWW92XSA50ZGRZVVJN6?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
My debate is that right now we are on a floor mattress and it’s a lot safer, but I kinda want my normal bed back…
I don’t have a floor bed but I have bed rails (not these exact ones but similar) all around my bed making it pretty much a queen size pack n play. I am dreading when I finally have to give them up (when he starts climbing over them) but he is 18 months and 34.5 inches and they are still working for us. We take them when we travel too and it makes things much less stressful in new spaces.
Another vote for a giant playpen. Ours is like 6' x 7'. (Amazon example). The bottom is just fabric and we have hardwood floors, so we also got a foam mat for it (another example). There are some zipper openings so we can leave it open for LO to come and go, or zip it if we need her to stay in it.
I'm usually in there with her anyway, but if I do need to step away to do something, it's a safe place where she can stay, and it's easy to check on her. It's big enough where we can keep a pile of toys in a corner and she still has room to run around.
We actually were GIVEN ours when we had our baby. I had no idea they existed either. I went on to loan mine out to several families and they kept returning it after they were done using it for a year or so each. I finally got a family to take it and keep it, lol.
I've also heard of families putting a pool noodle under the fitted sheet as it creates a barrier, but I think that's more for the newborn stage.
We have this baby play yard (spoiler alert, it's HUGE. Like the size of a queen bed). When we started using that instead of just a pack and play, she got a lot more interested since she can actually crawl around in there. We are trying to do Montessori, so we have a shelf of toys next to the "yard" and put 5 large toys/baskets of small toys in there each day. She's usually good with those, but if we need to distract her and she's fussy, we can just rotate a new toy in from the shelf. Plus, it's big enough for us to literally get in and lay down in there, which she loves.
My daughter would get so mad when she tried to roll over and we were in the way. I linked a few pics of our current set up. The cutest thing is that she now walks to the basket of books when she wakes up, which gives me a bit of additional free time! She would yell for me the moment she woke in the pack and play.
This is currently a queen bed we already had. We will probably do a smaller bed with baby 2 on the way so they can share the space eventually. I still need to do something about the curtains, but she hasn't really seemed interested in touching them. I moved the dresser into the closet but will probably secure it to the wall because it's difficult to access in there. I found this for cords. I plan to put the monitor and sound machine on a high shelf. Overall it's working really well for us. I hope you find a set up that works for you!
How Children Learn by John Holt was an eye opener for me, but more of a philosophical overview than any point by point guide. It was originally published in 1962, so the language is delightfully old timey, but there's a wonderful Mr Rogers warmth for children that shines through. It absolutely re-shaped my understanding of how very small children process the world.
I recently got one of these and love it! My son was climbing in and out of his sidecar bassinet and I was scared he’d hurt himself. This keeps him from climbing/rolling out of bed. He’s big and it still keeps him from even trying to climb out! I like this one because it has some fabric attached to it so it doesn’t shift around like other bumpers might.
[1-Pack] Toddler Bed Rail Bumper | Bed Bumper for Toddlers | Kids Foam Safety Bed Guard Rail for Toddlers | Bed Side Rail for Twin Bed, Queen, King https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DTBKPWO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_AXKQRCQW7W2GGE19ZCB4?psc=1
This was very helpful for me. I was a bit incredulous when my pediatrician recommended it, but the 2 chances then time-out approach works well a lot of the time. https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Discipline-Effective-Parenting/dp/149262988X
Yes. especially the "childfree" population... 😬 lawd. I've been downvoted into hell and accused of child abuse for saying my baby was in the 99th percentile for weight. Of course by people without kids lmao.
Aww. If the sling helps you out with rocking I should give mine another go. I miss being able to hold him for long periods. That is SO cute that she asked to get in the sling hahaha. Mine fell asleep snugglin on my shoulder last night for the first time since he was like 3 months old, it was soooo sweet, he's been violently anti snuggles for the past 3 months 😭 oh and if you have real trouble with diaper changes I HIGHLY recommend the Pampers 360° fit cruisers! They're easy to tug on while babe is crawling or standing! Total life changer for us as I physically cannot hold him down or distract him long enough to get a regular dipe on lol
This https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08CVSXQ7J/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_1TGSPE65ZYQS7NDWM5Y8?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 is the one I found! Lots of reviews about it helping with back pain and heavy kiddos 🤩
"Pete the Cat: Play Ball! " is all about the main character not doing very well during a baseball game, but not giving up because he tried his best.
https://www.amazon.com/Pete-Cat-Play-Ball-First/dp/0062110667 The story is not very interesting to me, but my 3 year old seems to like it.
You could also try posting in r/preschoolers if you want advice from parents of kids his age.
I second RIE! I worked as a nursery school teacher pre pandemic. We were a continuation of RIE. Two books my boss gave me to read are 123.. the toddler years and No is Also an Answer
Find them here and here
They’re SUPER short. Like less than 150 pages and a great guides to pick up when you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed. Their whole message is set firm clear boundaries, stick with them and teach and be kind!
we have exactly this: Dream On Me Addison 4-in-1 Convertible Mini Crib in White, Greenguard Gold Certified https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O64R8RY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_VD4V8PA641PC5JXGZGVW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
and it’s still great for her at 18 months. basically any convertible crib / mini crib will do, since you will need to remove one of the sides and it will still have the legs to support it.
we ended up getting this mattress as well: Moonlight Slumber Mini Crib Mattress 5" Dual Firmness: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07LHL5M54/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_SD6MQB313WDY6H5E20Y8?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I like it because it’s tall enough that the mattress ends up being the same level as my bed, so i don’t have to lift her at all. when she got older she was able to just crawl toward me to nurse 😂
Bed rails are really good investment because you use them when they finally go to their own bed too.
I have https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XR1LSMI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_HETW5AEtAl26b
We have this one and love it. https://www.amazon.com/Electric-Safety-Trimmer-Clipper-Fingers/dp/B07MXNVLMD/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=electric+nail+file+baby&qid=1607745937&sprefix=electric+nail+file&sr=8-3
Emotional Muscle: Strong Parents, Strong Children
by Kerry Kelly Novick (Author), Jack Novick PHD (Author)
This is book is about how to talk and listen to your children so they can build up their "emotional muscle". Learn about their emotions so they can master them.
1, 2,3 The Toddler Years and No is also an Answer are both very short books that will help. Keep in mind, your toddler may be capable and more aware of what you’re saying than you may think. Continue to use that language with him. I suggest taking some time to think about what your boundaries are and try to remember to set that limit when he starts getting into something dangerous, for example.
Good luck! I highly recommended those books.
Eep, had it wrong. Unconditional Parenting. Here's the Amazon link. Well worth it.
napyou Amazon exclusive
I also have an old memory foam pillow for him in the bed also.
We've had this mattress a few months now and no issues with it.
We've had a few leaking mornings but the mattress cover did it's job beautifully. Soundless protection.
It came rolled up and there wasn't any smell that my super sniffer noticed.
We have zip up bed rails. They’re easy to use and you can fold them down at night and zip them up when you get up. This is what we have.
We have this Milliard foam folding mattress that is pretty great. Milliard Tri-Fold It has a lot of potential uses - soft play space for babies, folds up into a couch or lounger shape, fun for making forts - and we have used it for cosleeping for a few days when waiting for a new bed to be delivered. My mom actually prefers to sleep on it when she visits. It’s firm but not too uncomfortable. It also comes in a queen or king size. It would likely be too big to travel with but you could order it to their house; might even be something your family would be glad to have around!
Linenspa 8 Inch Memory Foam and Innerspring Hybrid-Mattress - Medium-Firm Feel - Full https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IU6RN9G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qqbzFbXBDP67A
I’ve been sleeping on this one for months with my daughter who is now almost 2. It is on the floor of her room and quite comfortable. She’s rolled off it before and not even woken up. Though usually I’m on the outside and there’s a wall on her side. When she gets a little bigger, I’ll buy a low frame for it and it will just be her big girl bed at that point.
I was considering this one which is supposed be bamboo. Also thinking of looking for some metal options to save space and be dishwasher friendly. I am definitely not into the plastic business.
My kid liked this thing around that age. Manhattan Toy has quite a few cute non-electronic toys.
I second this. My 1yo still tries the pinching if she's really tired but for the most part she has stopped after maybe a month on consistently not allowing that behavior. You dont have to be mean. Maybe just block the area and explain that pinching hurts (even if you think she can't understand, she will before you know it) and you can't let her hurt you on purpose.
This wouldn't have flown with my daughter 3 months ago but NOW if she is feeling pinch-y I can give her one of these and it is enough to keep the lil monster happy.
This is hard! You're doing awesome putting up with this, but set that boundary! She will probably cry and fight sleep but it is WORTH IT for you to feel better! And boundaries are good for kids so don't worry that your damaging her by letting her cry. You aren't. She is learning. Stay strong.