I don’t equate extroversion with confidence.
Quiet by Susan Cain explains our culture’s overvaluing of extroversion.
I’m introverted and FIERCE.
I found this book following the trail of breadcrumbs and wanted to clarify this is what it’s from. It’s not listed in the diagram contents. Theres not even a 12-3. This is the book- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004JN1CTW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
I also wanted to know your experiences with these. My first was the porcupine. My roommate got mad at me when I called her out on her bullshit. She started yelling at me and that’s when it happened. I have caught this energy before when I intervened a fight that broke out at a house party I threw. It makes you shake, so back then I thought it was just nerves. This time I felt it and almost saw it two to three feet from my body. It felt like the static of your arm falling asleep, but as if I was touching it from within a bubble that stopped it. It almost tickled, but in a light, sharp way. Subsequently, my room mate began to shake when I didn’t absorb the energy she was verbally throwing at me.
One I still experience is the Hook and Grasp. Some people get really into what they’re talking and I feel it. I’ve resisted it before and broken its tension when two people were involved and it was really apparent to me. It feels more insidious than just crossing energies with people, because that I can easily detach from. Love to hear any experience in adapting and maneuvering out of it. I almost think of all this as some sort of energetic judo I have to slip out of when it occurs.
Physical empath here too. (How is that even a thing?? Seems like an oxymoron.) Recently I've been trying some simple qi gong and that's helped a lot. I'd also recommend an exercise referred to as "is this mine" from "Managing Psychic Abilities" by Mary Shutan (in my experience she knows what she's talking about). Good luck, feel better.
Look to the book C-PTSD from Survivng to Thriving by Pete Walker. I think you may find it very helpful to understand the nature of what is going within your Self as it relates to your childhood conditioning.
Also consider a Self Love practice like Inner Child Healing. It will teach you to heal our deepest wound from the childhood conditioning which is not having ever learned how to Unconditionally Love our Self.
At some point in the journey when you have completely healed yourself and your unconditional Self-Love is restored you will actually have compassion for your Dad because you will see him as a wounded child too acting through his lack of Self Love and the immense fears of his childhood. For now it's part of the Path to be angry at your Dad But the only way you will find to heal that anger is by going inward and restoring Unconditional Self Love to your inner realm.
Heal your Self and then Shine your Light onto the world to Heal others as your Self with Unconditional Love.
Blessings
🙏💜🙏
Check out the book on Amazon it might help you understand what it's about better.
https://www.amazon.com/Esoteric-Empathy-Metaphysical-Emotional-Sensitivity-ebook/dp/B01APSXKJ4
My family drains my energy. I go to great lengths to avoid contact with them. I'm 35 years old and the only effective technique I've found all this time is to create boundaries. So, for example the few times a year that I do see them I make sure we meet in a public place like a restaurant. Then I make sure I have a reason I must leave after the meal is over. My SO also helps me a lot. Dealing with narcissists takes some strategy, if you can recruit a friend or colleague it can help. My family behaves slightly better when he is around. Also check the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists, they have a wiki with great links to read about how to strategize your interactions and set your boundaries.
Edit: this was under the articles link on that subreddit I mentioned. get damaging people out of your life
See if there's an American Job Center or Career Center in your area. They can help you prepare for the job search. Have her go on zety.com and build a resume, they offer pre-written sentences for different job titles and it's pretty user friendly. It's a paid service but if you can finesse the system, you can still use the resume builder, you just won't be able to download a copy, if that makes sense.
Have her brainstorm some skills she's good at, and write down accomplishments she's had at previous jobs. Look up How To Interview videos and practice the questions with her. She mostly needs to build confidence and trust in herself and her abilities. It's scary to put ourselves out there, but we have a lot to offer in this world. Make sure she takes breaks from applying to jobs too, cause those assessments will be long and tedious lol. Give her a foot and scalp massage to calm her if she's into that, or anything you know will help her relax.
Agreed. Boundaries are the secret to thriving as an empath.
The book Boundary Boss by Terri Cole is down-to-earth and super practical. Highly recommended for all empaths.
Probably left there for the deer 😆
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If you had a conditioned childhood, and most of us with Empathic Intuitive abilities did, consider looking into C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). You may not realize it but either a thought or something outside of you is triggering you and this causes you to disassociate for a brief period and relive a memory of childhood conditioning event. You then return from the flashback, but have no memory of it like a dream. However, you still feel the emotions of the wounded child caught up in the impossible situation.
A really powerful book about this is 'C-PTSD from Surviving to Thriving' by Pete Walker.
C-PTSD is quite common in Empaths and learning about it helps us understand what is going on within our Self that causes rapid mood swings, existential angst, and anxiety. Once we understand the underlying psychological and physiologic mechanisms that are making us feel this way then we can heal them.
Read this to learn how to use natural empathy to shake up the World in a good way.
I dont think that has anything to do with empathy (I can certainly empathize with angry people at least lol). Moreso internal self-management. I think understanding mental models might help you. It's certainly helped me after revisiting a decade later and having more life experiences: https://www.amazon.com/Tempo-tactics-strategy-narrative-driven-decision-making/dp/0982703007
I have learnt that staying at home - hermit mode - it bad!
Go out and see people!
I am an ENFJ - I recharge by being around people. I don't want to be around people as I feel everything.
Be around people.
Ground, Bubble and Shield - you can do it for her. This book is good: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0806539437
I bought this as my first one because of the name: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Spirit-Connexions-Protection-Bracelet-Protect/dp/B0871FT5RT
I make or re-make all my own bracelets now as prefer them tight on my wrist.
I can do without them, but seems to be more wearing?
I have found my inner artist not to be good at sharing, even with my other parts. Like, blowing out my wrist so she can finish painting something. She needs space though, for supplies, inspiration, experiments. Could you find a studio or some other space where she can rule? Then the relationship with the roomies might calm a little.=1645998785&sprefix=les+carter+the+%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-2 .
​
It really helped with the anger, but it also lit up the empath. He gives rather detailed ways to deal with the different anger drives and conditions and I've found those tools have helped me flow better with the empath. Or maybe I'm just not as angry at her... :-)
I have found my inner artist not to be so good at sharing, even with my other parts. Like, blowing out my wrist so she can finish painting something. She needs space though, for supplies, inspiration, experiments. Could you find a studio or some other space where she can rule?
​
Good luck!
Get Noble Shungite No. 1.
This will help you to stay grounded and protect your energy fields...
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The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683642112/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_2YH3GW3Q0CYVC9PR02RZ is such a good book! Reading your post makes me want to read it again
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma https://www.amazon.com/dp/1492871842/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_PVHPYASYRR89TQ2ZCVX1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Hey OP. Your post reminded me of this book The Inner Child Workbook by Catherine Taylor. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inner-Child-Workbook-What-Workbooks/dp/087477635X
If you don't mind me asking, what is the name of the other workbook you were able to find?
Yes. It is all Connected. Most codependent Beings are Empaths.
The issue for codependency is a conditioned childhood. The inner voice begins to judge and doubt our Self
The Path to Healing is to Transform the Inner Voice from judging and doubting to unconditionally loving and believing in our Self.
Look to Inner Child Healing. It will teach you to love and believe in your Self and heal any conditioning that stands in the way of Self Love.
Also consider the book C-PTSD from Surviving to Thriving
One of the things that often makes it hard to be an empath is not knowing how to develop skills to manage th is trait. I only wish I knew I was an empath when I was a kid since I would have done so much differently.
Anyway, if anyone is interested, there is a good book that can help empaths become 'skilled empaths' in about a month. I'm going to post a link, but it is not a referral link, and I have no association with the author.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FZDTBZC
Read the reviews, and if you're interested, give it consideration. It does take time and practice, but a person can get better at this.
There is nothing wrong with feeling disconnected from those around you. It just means they are not the kind of people you resonate with anymore.
Its part of growing into a mature adult.
But put yourself out there, join new groups, try new activities and you will find a much more full filling life.
I have actually created a coloring book that touches on many usefull things I have discovered through my journey to happiness.
https://www.amazon.com/Multiverse-Mania-Coloring-Unlock-Inspirational/dp/B091GSN2QZ
You will find a wonderful life just explore!
I practically collect headphones and earplugs. Yes- over ear noise canceling headphones are great. Add these under them and you’ll feel like you’re underwater (bliss).
Grounding, magnesium baths, turn off your wi-fi occasionally… I also like Sharon Salzburg meditations.
I also need everyone out of the house sometimes. Lock the doors, shut downstairs shades, turn off my “responsibility self”.
——-
(different strengths, too - and adjustable ear tips)
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https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive/dp/1683642112/ref=sr_1_1?crid=16FP5NJJJ2TS6&dchild=1&keywords=empath+survival+guide&qid=1609055498&sprefix=Empath+survival%2Caps%2C407&sr=8-1 Is a very good resource. In the past I self medicated to blot it out, but that is not the answer. At times empathy feels more like a curse than a gift, but accepting it is a blessing. Having a regular self care routine is a good start in self understanding. I begin each day by mediating and then writing a journal. I find yoga helpful also. Self care is not selfish.
I hope this helps.
Also, I enjoyed this book. The title is in regards to paying attention to yourself and not making everyone else more important than you, not really about being more important than everyone else.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0975253875/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_t1_3jk1FbMFCWDTD
Grounding and shielding. Check out this book. It is helpful if you haven’t studied energy work. I’ve studied it across cultures, this is a pretty good primer. Also, 2020, rough year for empaths
https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive/dp/1622036573
You might benefit from reading about narcissism, toxic relationships, and codependency.
I recommend Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. It’s empowering.
The empaths survival guide by Judy Orloff is a great one. My therapist suggested it for me and it was incredibly helpful for understanding myself. I don’t necessarily suggest her other books.
I read the empath’s survival guide and that helped me when I had to work. It gives a lot of self help/tips and protections/meditations as well. I wear a crystal around my neck abalone stone*- I never take it off and it really does protect me. Like I can at least grocery shop which is a big step up for me as that’s normally hella challenging. But I really relate to everything that you wrote. It’s exactly how I feel to a T. Also advice from others to me and I’ll extend it to you: give yourself credit. We are in the middle of a pandemic and the earth is literally burning. Your feelings are valid and it’s tough to be an empath in a world that’s on fire. So it’s okay to feel how you feel. I’ve been just trying to find outlets. I cry a lot. I hope somehow this helped.
Have a look at this book. I read it 25 years ago and I still find the information from it to be highly useful:
https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-People-Ways-Dealing-Miserable/dp/1929873441
The inner child healing exercise I linked above is a really good place to start.
Once you begin to get the hang of inner child healing then you start seeking out the trauma within you to Heal. For example you can bring to mind one of the interactions where you got angry and it will likely trigger you back to the childhood wounding that needs to be healed. The inner child healing exercise describes how to work in your inner realm this way. It takes practice to trigger the flashback and be present in the flashback to heal your inner child without being in a fully dissasociated state. But as you learn the basics of Self Love you'll gain the experience to Heal in your inner realm this way. It sounds like you already have a Self Love practice with the way you healed so much of your need for validation. So I think you will find that you have an intuitive sense for inner child healing already.
Sounds like it. To you and other Empaths here - I'd recommend "The Empath's Survival Guide" by Dr. Judith Orloff. Changed my life perspective and helped me embrace and almost empower myself as an empath. Use it as a super power!
https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive/dp/1622036573
I feel the same, it has been overwhelming at times and caused me some mild depression also. I would strongly recommend you read the book Frequency by Penney Peirce. Within reading the first 3-4 pages of the first chapter I was like holy shit this is exactly how I feel and what is going on in my life. I have felt much more at peace with my feelings and been able to turn them into a positive experience. There is an audio version for free and a cheap kindle version too on Amazon if you don’t wanna buy the actual thing. https://www.amazon.ca/Frequency-Personal-Vibration-Penney-Peirce/dp/1582702152
Agreed about exercise and health. Get a full panel, see if any vitamin / mineral deficiencies are there. Eat healthy according to what your body needs. Lots of protein and healthy fats. And seek out some therapy and/or energy healing. You need a practitioner to see regularly for a while so you can really get to the root of this and learn tools to cope in the world. It will be a total gamechanger if you find the right person to work with you! Preferably someone who is an empath and knows how to deal with these issues.
Some reading: The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683642112/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_a3paEb5GZ6TKQ
How interesting.
The very first chapter and first paragraphs of my book, Get Your magic Back, talks about EXACTLY THIS.
>Chapter One
>
>Healers, Feelers, and Magical People
>
>Have you ever wondered why you feel things so strongly? If you’re like me, a sensitive soul, your emotions can dictate your actions causing you to shut down or strike back when shit happens. Biting your tongue and holding things in is not a productive way to be for people like us. Neither is erupting like a volcano, spewing angry molten lava all over the people we love.
>
>We are healers, empaths, highly sensitive, magical people.
>
>We are here to make a difference in the world. Whether you’re an empathic momma raising conscious kids or a heart-based entrepreneur doing healing work or both it’s vital that we deal with the deeply buried emotional ‘wounds’ so that we can do what we’re here to do.
>
>What I learned about my tribe long ago is that we are here to heal and return home.
>
>I believe healing and returning home are the same thing.
>
>Healing is an ongoing process, like a perpetual evolution. As we heal, we reintegrate parts of ourselves and restore a sense of wholeness in our hearts. The heart is where the soul ‘resides’ so healing is a returning home - to ourselves, our highest or spiritual selves.
>
>Healing doesn’t just take place in the body. In fact, the body cannot fully heal if the soul is still wounded.
>
>You might even say, our world cannot heal if we, her people, are still wounded.
>
>Our emotions, and the fight or flight response to situations that are not life threatening, are the keys to healing the soul wounds that we (super feelers) struggle with and suffer from year after year.
not much prep, the engines are always running - just ''shields, Mr La Forge!'' and they are up 100% and holding ;) https://www.amazon.com/Psychic-Energy-Workbook-Illustrated-Practical/dp/0850305292/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=The+Psychic+Workbook%3A&qid=1555012261&s=books&sr=1-5 get this book , it helps to learn the skills youre asking for
Hey! I got prescribed GABA by a naturopath but it also gave me a hazy fuzziness so I asked her for something else. Integrative Therapeutics makes a blend called Cortisol Manager which contains L-theanine, ashwanga and magnolia bark extracts. I usually take a tablet before bed to prevent insomnia from a brain that refuses to turn off, but it won’t cause sleepiness if you take it during the daytime.
The clinic was often sold out so I started buying it on Amazon.
edit: I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were asking for, I just got excited to share the experience. To try answering the actual question, sometimes I almost like leaving my brain full, because it acts as armor to keep extra energy out, but it is a struggle sometimes to find the right things to fill it with. I have to remind myself to stop and chill with my cat or bf or whatever(positive+loving energy) instead of trying to be productive all the time.
When I don’t take the time to meditate and purposefully load up on good vibes, that’s when I start getting inundated by the random crap being thrown around. A small break can even be good; like if I’m at work and feeling stressed, I look out a window and try to find flowers, or birds, or just anything that brings happiness, and remind myself that I am connected to that beautiful thing, not the stress-causer in front of me.
I read a book many years ago that while reading, something clicked for me. I was always wise for my age. I can’t explain it very well other than it made a lot of sense to me. You should give it a read.
Hi Christine - not you aren't crazy. Just going through the learning curve that most empaths go through.
@Lordkarm and everybody. A friend and I wrote this book for beginner empaths. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I47VTK0 "Thriving As An Empath: Empowering your highly sensitive self"
Last month, I posted my favorite, go-to, exercise from the book. If you missed it you can read it at https://www.reddit.com/r/Empaths/comments/57hb2k/crowds_so_much_anxiety/
Have a look at "Thriving as an Empath: Empowering your Highly Sensitive Self" (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I47VTK0)
Lots of processes, techniques, visualizations, and other tips including crystals and herbs. It was written exactly for people in your position. The authors had been there ourselves!
Let me know if you have follow-up questions.
Yep, sounds like you are caught in the maelstrom of emotions that many empaths are having to deal with. 1) Keep asking "Is this mine?". Sometimes just asking the question is enough to clear whatever it is you are picking up. 2) Using a pendulum and/or muscle testing to get the answer to "is this mine". More details on this in https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I47VTK0