This isn't satire, this is an actual quote.
Nord has had issues with data logging in the past, and should probably not be trusted. There are also some really basic features missing iirc (couldn't set up torrents properly iirc).
PIA (Private Internet Access) seems to be one of the best at the moment. It's also the one LTT chooses to partner with, which gets them points in my book because they're really, really picky about their tech related sponsorships.
Worth paying for one really. I use Torguard. Works fine for IPlayer, but not for Netflix anymore sadly unless you get a dedicated IP.
I've read good things about Cyberghost. It's subsidized by premium users - the only limits are that it forces to you reconnect after 3 hours usage, and can't be used on iOs devices.
I love it when foreigners watch BBC coverage.
Otherwise if all else fails hang around in 4chan /tv/ and see if people post links to streams. I might be doing that anyway, because I enjoy the twitch-like chat.