We went the disposable bed pad route. We laid them around the toilet and taped them to the wall as well. We tried to convince him to sit down, but no luck.
I am in the exact same position and have asked almost the exactly same question a few months ago! My mum LOVES colouring in. Its strange because she was never really the artistic type. There was a colouring book mentioned on this sub which is quite popular (however there is a problem that it is title 'dementia colouring book' and some people have a problem with that.
Another activity my mum loves is 'the listing game' where you name a category and she tries to come up with a word in that category beginning with each letter. E.g. Animals - Antelope, Bear, Cat, Dog ... Again there is a book on amazon lol but it is so easy to make your own at home if you're not lazy like me. This book does have a list of categories though so it was a justified purchase.
On that note, Amazon is a great way of finding activities. Just type in .... for dementia or activities for dementia etc and you will find thousands of options. I don't mind spending a bit of money each week and testing out new things, but I know not can do this.
Furthermore, here is a list that was created from me asking around, and the things I have tried. The list was bigger but some things just don't work with my mum (As i'm sure they wont with yours!) Anything that is more hands on tends to work but it is really a process of trial and error
​
Good luck with everything! It will be tough at the start but you get used to it!
What about some crafts like painting? While looking on Amazon, I found some painting sheets (?) that just use water. They make similar things for children so they don’t make a huge mess. This is one of them I saw.
No only do we have to watch someone we love endure Alzheimer's, we are not being told the truth about the drugs used to "improve cognition and function," or "slow the progress" of this disgusting disease. We are being mislead. Everyone that is touch by this disease or knows someone touched by this disease should know the truth about these drugs.
If you would like to pass this along to someone you know, here is the link.
It’s usually good to get him to wear a medical bracelet sooner rather than later if he is wandering.
My husband has this one: medic alert bracelet
He will likely go to a memory care facility. Assisted living isn’t going to meet his needs, given the facts you’ve presented.
We haven't found one. We ended up with a picture phone that she can just pick up and poke our faces. That comes with its own issues :/
The main issue is that you can't teach them new skills and they steadily lose their old ones as well.
Agree with other comments that US tap is probably nothing to worry about, but it still tastes better and keeps scale out of kettles, irons, etc. Here's what I use:
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00MPGRUNW/
Just to let you know, they make rinseless shampoo and wipes that we use in between baths. I have to have help bathing my grandmother and these are a godsend. They are soft, thick, and stay warmed.
Scrubzz Disposable No Rinse Bathing Wipes - 25 Pack - All-in-1 Single Use Shower Wipes, Simply Dampen, Lather, and Dry Without Shampoo or Rinsing https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XQ9NQPQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_RS3AZ3VYPWECEDJV6YD4
No-Rinse Shampoo Cap by Cleanlife Products (Pack of 5), Shampoo and Condition Hair with no Water or Rinsing - Microwaveable, Latex-Free and Alcohol-Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009I12STI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MREXE6J6MJJ7FYR8XY94
I am in the same situation with my father. My husband and I care for him and he is a handful. Doesn’t sleep much at all. He’s like an infant in the middle of the night. Gets up every 2-3 hours. Walking around the house wanting snacks or something to eat and then goes to his room 30 min later.
We’ve told him over and over it’s bedtime. Occasionally he will listen. I experimented and started taking him on more outings during the day in an effort to avoid any day naps and hope he would sleep through the night. It worked for 4 days. I think I was the one more exhausted.
As far as remedies, doctor gave Us the okay to give him melatonin, 10mg max. It doesn’t faze him. I limit his caffeine intake to before 11am only.
I have a clock that says the day of the week, date, time and type of hour (morning, afternoon, evening). Sometimes this helps to bring him back to a calm place when he sees it’s evening/bedtime. Currently it’s work. Oh it even has alarms this you can customize “take your medicine” etc. I believe it’s called LifeTime. Sorry for the long rant. Good luck. American Lifetime Newest Version Day Clock Extra Large Impaired Vision Digital Clock with Battery Backup and 5 Alarm Options https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NBNF1DH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_QAQCMCY3BNKJ6PG55RVM I
There are waterproof couch covers, waterproof blankets, waterproof pillowcases, waterproof mattress covers.
I'd just not use anything that isn't waterproof.
Note I haven't actually tried any of this so no guarantees but I think it should work. I've never been able to completely get out cat pee smells so I think waterproof stuff is your best bet.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q7PYH62/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_TP7FXWNMZBE3QK4GQP8A
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08H112JWR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_XWR2QSPAPJ6TMSPTBED3
I literally just did this this weekend. I'd recommend the black Wansview available on Amazon (see here: https://www.amazon.com/Wansview-Wireless-Security-Surveillance-Monitor/dp/B074ZN2FD1?ref_=bl_dp_s_mw_3050090011&th=1&psc=1 ). I have the white one as a baby monitor currently and love it. For my parents, I bought a dlink camera from Walmart and it's not even close to what the Wansview can do, and the app kinda sucks. Still, it does the job and hasn't been found yet (I kinda put it in an inconspicuous spot). Some things to consider: WiFi strength, because not many have hard wired Internet, and outlet proximity. One benefit to the dlink is the ability to record automatically and cloud storage, which may be something you'd want (although, from experience, you're going to get a lot of recordings for regular moving around, and the cost for D-Link is like $50/year. Happy to give more info, but thought this is a good start
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1072087685 Not sure if you are in the UK but if you take the number at the end of the link and put it in the Amazon search bar it will come up! Had a bit of trouble finding it as the last link posted was from the United States.
Perhaps get a single sheet toilet paper dispenser. That may cut down on the amount of tissue she uses. For everything else, buy super cheap stuff. Hide the quality items for you to bring out when you can supervise their use.
A simple door stop may do the trick. You can keep the door slightly open for the kitties but she couldn't push it open further.
I had the EXACT same thought and frankly I had always thought they were low risk. one thing the report said was chelation agents like edta seem to make the mercury effect WORSE (which surprised me) but that selenium binds with the mercury and makes it less damaging in your body (buying selenium supplements now)
something else you might want to read
Consumer reports indicates these drugs don't help at that stage and do cause distressing side-effects: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2014/04/aricept-exelon-and-razadyne-do-little-to-help-most-people-and-pose-risks/index.htm
Actually, as I think of it, this sounds like a great Sunday project! A blank photo album and a bunch of photo packets. Sitting down together with some nice hot coffees and putting the individual photos into a photo album.
The germans have a word for this: gemütlich
Is your MIL on any medication to help with the anxiety and paranoia? That's step #1.
Here's a search result on activities to keep those with dementia occupied: https://search.yahoo.com/search?p=busy+work+for+dementia&fr=yfp-t&fp=1&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8
>homeless shelters, free church dinners,
I'm not in the States so don't know how those things work over there, but in homeless shelters in this country there's always somebody on hand who's employed and should know a way of getting specialist support for those who are living on the streets due to abuse or a medical condition.
This website https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/help-for-battered-men#1 says there is a helpline for men who are victims of domestic abuse.
>"The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men is the only one in the nation that offers support and help in finding resources specifically for men," says Brown, of the not-for-profit helpline. "We'll provide options and support and help a man understand that the abuse is not his fault and it is not acceptable." The Domestic Abuse Helpline can be reached from anywhere in the US and Canada, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, by calling 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754).
and another one
>National Domestic Violence Hotline. "We urge anyone whose relationship scares them to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) at (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or the TTY line for the deaf: (800) 787-3224. The Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, year round with live advocates who can answer questions, discuss safety options, and connect callers to resources in their local area. Every call to NDVH is anonymous."
There's no need to be passive aggressive. This is a technique that actually works pretty well for dementia patients that don't respond well to attempts to divert from "I want to go, let me go, I'm going home, etc." This is why many nursing homes will have fake bus stops or taxi stands on their property, so that when no distraction/diversion is working, you can maintain the peace and not escalate the situation. I got my person bundled up in appropriate clothing & winter gear, the car was within 5 feet of her at all times, and she has a GPS device. By letting her walk out, she was able to soothe that urge of "I need to go, I need to go."
https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/HISCSonoma/teepa-snow-dementia-building-skill-handout
That's a great handout
Some other techniques for dealing with the sun downing are to close all the curtains/blinds and use bright lights inside (the shadows and change from light to dark can be disorienting), play music he likes, and engage him (rather than entertaining himself with TV or whatever he usually does) to keep him focused. Perhaps you could give him tasks to help him feel useful and stay busy- he could polish unloaded guns, or take the newspapers out to the garage, whatever. A low dose of melatonin can also help some people.
We will agree to disagree on the guns.
I got my grandma a phone meant for people with dementia/Alzheimer's. You'll need to set up a landline for them, but it's worth it imo. I got her something like this.
I use this on doors and cameras at every exit. It is important you not let them out alone for their safety, no matter what they say. It's annoying but has so far extended my grandma's life a year.
There are flow limiting valves that screw in line with the showerhead so you can adjust flow. Think she'd notice a little tab up top? That way you could have a normal flow shower...
Can you slip a TILE in his wallet?? https://www.amazon.com/Bluetooth-Finder-Keychain-Tracker-Keys/dp/B01CMJ6GNGIt is small, you don't have to worry about him wearing something or not.. so long as he typically takes his wallet you are good.
Something to add to this, get a vinyl bullseye sticker and place it in the toilet bowl. Put it where you want him to aim.
My dad has trouble differentiating what he sees. A bullseye will stand out to him and he will know what it signifies.
https://www.amazon.com/Bullseye-Vinyl-bulls-eye-training-Bathroom/dp/B076B94L9Q
I saw some of the flavored decafs on amazon.
how about these (one is flavored and I'd understand if she just wants regular coffee):
https://www.amazon.com/Maxwell-House-Instant-Decaffeinated-8-Ounce/dp/B003WEX8PU/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=maxwell+house+decaf+instant&qid=1607280577&sr=8-4 https://www.amazon.com/Maxwell-House-International-Coffee-Suisse/dp/B06XDP42T5/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=maxwell+house+decaf+instant&qid=1607280563&sr=8-3
It will be possible to take the watch off, so there is the chance of him wandering undetected even if you have the device. There will also be battery and network communication issues to consider.
That said, what about something like this?
I had the same thought.... and I guess so did a lot of people. Here is one by the same artist, who changed the cover. In the description in amazon it says its the exact same just with a different colour!
Zero odor laundry eliminator- this actually works. Not "this works" from a person who smokes, is male (sorry, men have a much smaller olfactory bulb), or someone who regularly douses themselves with scent and is nose blind.
This actually works from a person with chronic migraines, female, and is medically a "super smeller" (life isn't fun...). Zero odor products actually WORK.
Also, purple makes amazing mattress protectors (use a VPN when looking for any purple bed products unless you want 2 years of ads)
I also recommend this odor absorbing gel. Just open the container and place it around areas where he hangs out.
Lastly, yes old people smell. It is just a fact. Sometimes those bad smells give very useful diagnostic information. Just keep this in mind as a priority over getting rid of the smells (at least write notes on the smells before eliminating them and ALWAYS talk to his doctor about them). H.pylori had a hold on my grandma for years because we were both more focused on getting rid of the smell and it flew under the radar (H.pylori makes "old person breath", but also some serious health side effects)
I second the suggestion of an attorney. I would also strongly recommend that since your mom is asking for your help, or possibly not making the best decisions for him, that you have some protection legally, for example as the secondary person behind her if she can't perform the role.
I would also recommend talking to your father's neurologist about his behavior to see if there are any medications for the anger and paranoia he can take.
If he's struggling with words, would creating a book with pictures/words he commonly uses help? I'm thinking something like this or this. I would personalize it to him, food and drinks he likes, TV shows or movies he enjoys, utensils, remotes, and things he uses frequently, etc.
For the anger at 5 PM, my only suggestion is to try and distract him with a hobby he enjoys, or a movie you know he likes. If that doesn't work, the only other thing you can do is protect yourself and your mom. Neither of you are going to be much help to him if you burn yourselves out or he gets angry enough to hurt one of you.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope you two can come together to make decisions that benefit all three of you
I'm so sorry you're going through this. We also recently toured a memory care facility for my grandpa and realized the same thing, everyone else was very progressed in comparison, which wouldn't be beneficial for him. I wish I had more advice, but I'll share some of the things that have worked for us.
We have this clock for my dad. I love that it actually says “Morning, Afternoon, Evening”. That really helps him because he has trouble differentiating between morning and evening.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07C2LL3XF/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
We got a pill dispenser for my grandmother, you put all the medication in and it locks, then it unlocks at set times of day when she's supposed to take her meds and makes an alarm clock sound.
It's a little expensive, but maybe it would make her feel better to be able to see the morning and night meds. Plus it would probably lessen conflict between the two of you. Here's the one we bought.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VDG4Y1J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I did not go with an app because those can freeze, need rebooted, and stop working if the internet should go down for some reason. My Dad is also terrible with tech.
I got this...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077TP5QNM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Works very well for him. It shows the time, the day, the date, and the temperature. It also has USB spots on it, so I can plug my Dad's cell phone in to charge (all he does on the cell phone is make calls and "hey google", lol). Also, you can put it in a stand or mount it on the wall.
Sorry, no clue of an app that will do what you want. Sometimes it’s frustrating try to simplify things to the right level. Tech today overall is FEATURES! FEATURES! But nothing basic.
Amazon has this one for $30. I bought my mom one similar to this and it worked for awhile, but now she has no concept of day or time and the letters/#s mean nothing to her.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074F2BFTQ?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
I ordered these to put on clothes - also try and set things up in a similar fashion as their current living condition (to the best you can)
Shower caps and body wipes.
My mother is clever still even in her dementia and when she could not figure out how to use the shower she started using these types of wipes that she either got from friends or from a previous hospital stay. Another friend told me about the shower caps which we have not had to use yet since now I have a PCA now helping her shower.
for the clock, you could try getting one of those clocks that looks like this https://www.amazon.com/Newest-Version-American-Lifetime-Clock/dp/B01NBNF1DH
There are also these sunrise-sunset light clocks that you can put on a timer, for example in the evening it will glow orangey/red and the light should start making him feel sleepy, hopefully to help re-orient his brain to the correct time
The financial and legal aspects are going to depend on some other factors like what state/country, does he have a DPOA in place, etc.
I have recently purchased a book that contains questions (some more simple than others) about my mother and her life experiences. If you use Amazon, and have enough time before your visit, I would encourage you to order one to do with your father. My mother loves talking about childhood memories so when I ask her questions it brings a smile to her face AND I get to learn more about my mother before it is too late. I have copied the link for you below.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1081439793?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
I got something like this.
https://www.amazon.com/YisTech-Caregiver-Dementia-Patients-Security/dp/B09PG5FYNR/
I had a small gps tracker to put in her pocket but I’m thinking of getting an Apple Air tag.
>When my sister was terminally ill I got these washable pads for her queen sized bed.
>
>https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GSH88YL/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_asin\_title\_o00\_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
These do an amazing job.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GL8BQ8G/
You plug them in and they go on when it’s dark. They give a lot of light so it makes maneuvering easy. I’ve had them for a little over a year and Mom does great with them.
My mom has had a pretty good experience with hers (almost identical in appearance).
Last October when she was having continued struggles with her blister packs and other senior-friendly style packaged meds, I looked at all options and got her the LiveFine 28-day Pill Dispenser from Amazon. It was a lifesaver. She was only a little over a year into her diagnosis at the time and the dispenser did the trick!
All that said, that was a year ago and she's now having trouble locating it when the alarm sounds and getting her meds from it. She does well 9 times out of 10 but I'm aware that, after a while, it'll no longer serve the purpose given the progression of this disease.
It all depends what stage your mom is at. But for $99 (CAD), it might be worth a shot.
Best of luck to you. 💜
You can buy a chain lock which can be opened from the outside with a key. An example is https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Line-Products-9914-Antique-Finish/dp/B001DCKVPS.
The keyed lock is on the part of the chain lock which is attached to the door. When the chain is engaged, you open the door enough to get your hand holding the key in the door and able to unlock the keyed portion. (Look at the picture in the Amazon listing; it’s clear once you see a picture of the lock.) Assuming you have two keys, you could hold one and put the other in an outside lockbox that the aide accesses.
We have one of these for my mom. It's on the pricey side, but we have it set just outside the front door so that her aide can hear if she's made it out of the house.
https://www.amazon.com/Anti-Lost-Suitable-Locating-Replaceable-Batteries/dp/B099X61NG2/
My Mom has advanced dementia and I got something like this. Then I got chickens that run at her when she goes out the door and chase her back in.
Perhaps an electronic picture frame. We loaded a mixture of old and new pictures on one for my dad. My MIL, on the other hand, disliked it as any "clutter" distresses her. She loves orchids because they bloom for a long time.
Dementia progresses slowly. So when someone starts hallucinating overnight, it's usually something medical. You or your parent can call her doctor and describe what's happening. It's probably a med side effect or accidentally taking too many pills or a urinary tract infection. Could also be dehyration--if it's been really hot or if your grandma had diarrhea. Those are all curable. Dr. might also want to test her for vitamin deficiencies.
Does Grandma have a pill container that holds all her pills? Something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Weekly-Organizer-Planner-Removable-Compartments/dp/B00609IOWQ/ref=sr_1_48?adgrpid=1342504261323595&hvadid=83906587318290&hvbmt=bb&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=110911&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=b&hvtargid=kwd-83906860545009%3Aloc-190&hydadcr=21693_10350803&keywords=automatic%2Bpill%2Bdispenser%2B-%2Bmedready&qid=1652643404&sr=8-48&th=1
There are automatic pill dispensers like the one below that will send off an alarm if she doesn't take the pills out of the box. Some of these also have a smartphone app so you can more easily keep track as well.
If she's not taking them out of pride tho, you are much better off having someone watch her take them.
I use cameras with two-way speakers. I have eufy cameras though there are plenty others that work too. I also have an Amazon echo show which you can do drop in video calls with where she wouldn't have to pick up the call herself. I've got a door sensor too to tell me if my dad is opening the cabinet where the pills are when he's not supposed to. This way, I know if he's trying to take pills more often than he should. He has this bad habit of pushing g the auto dispenser box so he can get more pills out of it when he's not supposed to so it was an extra security we needed.
I personally think you should leave her in the nursing hone tho. She's gonna need it sooner or later. I'd only take her out myself if you're afraid of her getting covid or something.
Med-E-Lert Premium Locking Automatic Pill Dispenser 28 Slot Electronic Medication Organizer (Clear and Solid White Lids) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0147HTHRI/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_REKRPHMT4SBZAG1620DH?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
You could consider something like this
amazon.com/Door-Window-Alarm-Noopel-Anti-Theft/dp/B07BVSMDNP
It would alert the center that her door has been opened when it shouldn't be
I got this one for my mom and she loves it. It's lightweight, maneuvers well and slim enough to get around furniture etc.
Stop, just stop. I am the sole caregiver for my 92 year old Mom with dementia. We’re in Florida and my sister is in Montana. Now Mom and I made the decision for this and my sister agreed after the fact. I absolutely do not expect and help from her. Mom and I made these plans before she was even diagnosed.
Your brother and your Mom made their plans and didn’t include you in any of them. Now your brother is issuing orders to you. The answer is “No.” You don’t have the emotional, mental or physical resources to do it. If he wants a break have him take your Mom to a doctor and have part time home health ordered. They made their plans, now they need to deal with it. You have a family and you need to prioritize them.
Get a good book on boundaries. Because a lot of the hassles I was getting was from church members I like
To deal with the Emotional Blackmail
My therapist recommended them. Look your not going to be any good to anyone if you drive yourself into a break down or the grave. Your brother made all these decisions, not you, he needs to deal with them. Your just not up to it.
Would a one cup kettle help? Something like this:Breville Hot Cup
Appreciate there's still a fill with water aspect but if there's one with a big enough capacity it could be filled and ready for her and just one button to fill a cup.
Until we got my mothers meds dialed in she was hitting people with her cane. It was so unlike her. Anyway, at first the meds wiped her out but over a few weeks she bounced back. She’s so much happier now.
Another huge help is her ‘baby’.
I bought my mom a ‘reborn’ baby doll and she loves it. This baby is her life now; you never see her without the doll (or her handbag)! She is 88 with vascular dementia and pretty far along; wants to know when her mommie is going to visit, thinks he husband who passed 14 years ago is just at the store, etc.
I was hesitant to give her the doll (she has a strong bullshit meter) and framed it as ‘I’d bought it for the youngest granddaughter but thought the doll was too big, what do you think mom?’ We couldn’t decide so I asked if I could leave it at moms place & the granddaughter could play with it whenever she visited. Granddaughter lives far away and is never brought over to visit but mom decided to keep ‘it’ just in case.
When I visited mom the next day she’d pulled ‘baby’ out of her box and has hardly set her down for the last 3 months. Mom eats, sleeps, plays with baby all day long. I get chided for not holding her correctly or putting her too close to the edge of the chair. Staff has to get someone else to watch baby while mom gets bathed. They’ve mentioned many times how glad they are that mom has baby.
I never know what will interest mom and have bought tons of ‘dementia’ products and am constantly searching for activities but this doll is the only thing mom is interested enough in to engage with on her own.
Here is a link to the one I bought.
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B095CCGKDR/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
She has the cutest face and always seems to be looking at you. She wears 0-3 month baby clothes and we’ve got a few outfits. Best $67 I’ve spent in the last year.
Oh nice!
(2-Pack) Extra-Tall Foam Bed Rails for Toddlers | Soft Bed Bumpers for Kids | Baby Bed Guard | Child Bed Safety Side Rails with Water Resistant Washable Cover https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07QNZNXWN/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_5J7VPHMEWXMAMFKADC4X?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I don't know how to "fix" the readout, but I do know you need a "Thermostat Guard" something like this
Don't know about remote programming, but they make these types of remotes
For my mom, I just went low-tech and just taped everything except the volume, power, and channel buttons otherwise she kept on disabling the tv.
It looks pretty real.
I remember decades ago the clothing line called garanimals, where you mixed and matched items that had the same animal tag. Maybe you could make your own version of this using tags on the hangers. You’d probably have to audit the tag system weekly as laundry is done.
Or:
Several other options on Amazon
We tried a condom catheter for my FIL with mixed results. You could try that. We also used reusable, washable briefs for daytime wear when he could still be reminded to visit the bathroom every hour and saved the disposable briefs for overnights.
Ive tried the tile trackers and the samsung trackers. Tile trackers suck, i wouldnt get them. Samsung trackers though work great.
The advantage of the samsung trackers versus a nonsmart tracker like someone else linked you is if your mom loses her glasses outside the home, so long as you live in a city which doesnt even have to be that large, you can find her eye glasses. Also, if there is a special remote for finding the tracker with the nonsmart ones, well she can lose that remote too. Whereas the smart tracker uses a phone app. The disadvantage is that either your mom needs to have a phone and be capable of using the app which most dementia people cant. Or you have to be living with her and help her find her glasses for her. If these are a problem, id get the nonsmart tracker.
Fyi, the samsung tracker needs a compatible android phone but there is also an apple tracker if you have a compatible apple phone.
You can get one of those string things that go around the neck to let your mom hang her glasses around her neck when she puts them down and attach the tracker to it.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NRNSVRK/ref=twister_B08T3G1XXP?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Attach those giant gas stations sticks to them ?
Sorry couldn't resist, Here's an RF key finder kit you can buy attach the tags to her glasses and use the remote.
One thing I've found if you have Android: Bald Phone. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bald.uriah.baldphone.gp
It's a launcher that offers a customizable interface with few ways for a user to wander off into trouble. That is, once installed, it replaces the usual desktop Android GUI with a simplified, big-text interface. I haven't been able to use it IRL. Dad was in his 90s and preferred flip phone. Partner in her 60s is allergic to tech and not motivated to try to learn. But looks promising.
If she can text but prefers phone off, perhaps you can get her to associate a daily task with phone turn-on to check for texts—like, "okay, I've finished dinner, time to turn on phone, check for texts."
On groceries: I had dad phone me each week with his grocery list (1500+ miles away). Entered the info, placing items in cart; re-read the list to him, along with the total $$. Placed the order & paid with credit card on file, after agreeing on his preferred delivery time. Dad was organized to a fault, so didn't need reminders of date & time groceries would show up, but that's a thought. In fact, he would call me to complain bitterly if delivery was 5 minutes late.
The groceries by relay system was preferable to his odering up 10 boxes of strawberries and nothing else at a sitting when left to his own devices.
I think starting a home-based business during one of the worst experiences you can go through might be too much for many people. I don't know you, though -- maybe it would help fill the time. But I know caregiving is one of the most stressful things for people to do, so most importantly take care of yourself. Go easy on yourself, do things like go for walks or meditate that benefit your own health. Reconnect with family and friends if possible. Maintain strong social ties. I recommend Meetup.com, too, for finding people with similar interests. There might even be groups for people who are caregivers. I wish you all the best at this terribly difficult time.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so easy to slip into a depression when dealing with something so devastating. Try to take care of yourself first and foremost. Eat right, exercise and try to get good sleep. There's a supplement called melatonin that can help if that's an area of struggle for you. Lack of motivation is very understandable. Don't pressure yourself to do things just now. If you don't have to work, don't. Focus on things that bring you joy - some hobbies. If you don't have anything in mind, try new things. There's a site Meetup.com that brings people with similar interests together for events or talks. Try searching there for things that interest you and get yourself out there among people. Most people go to the meetups alone so don't let going alone stop you.
hmm. would something like this be what you are looking for?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0872PPSGM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_CFEJ3MQSZD2CD28BJNZJ
a long about way to do this would be to setup a computer with a infrared transmitter and software that would let you send remote signals via the pc to the tv. def a bit over the top/kludgy but may work. i think the remote hub i posted a link to maybe what you want.
hope that helps! 🤓
I second the tile suggestion! Itrialled “tile” while on placement! Very handy for the keys and they have special buttons for the remotes too never mind dementia me and my mother who helped me test it out found it super helpful .
They have ones available that don’t require Bluetooth too but I found these to be a little less loud and a little less practical (I.e the remote used to find the lost items can itself become lost) but if someone with a smart phone doesn’t frequent the house it might be more useful!
https://www.alzproducts.co.uk/object-finder-and-key-locator-v2
I think I can help. Google "bum gun" on Amazon. You'll get results like this:
I live in Thailand where this is a normal part of every toilet. How can it help? I'll explain. You make sure your water pressure is moderate. You insert one end into the rectum. You gently squeeze the trigger and it will flow water into the colon. Retain for 10-15 seconds. All the poo will be expelled.
There were times I was constipated badly due to painkillers. It was as bad as you describe. This "bum gun" can resolve this issue quickly without "prospecting for poo." It's a lifesaver in these situations.
That depends on how bad it's gotten, what kind of dementia, etc. He's still using the stove to cook oatmeal and heat soup, uses the broiler to make toast. I'm wanting the microwave for when the stove isn't useful, or is dangerous. He learned to use a new phone in the last month.
We are trying to support him doing for himself, not taking away functions. It's easier to do this stuff for him, but it's not what he wants and it's infantilizing. The day will come when he can't do them, but it's not here yet. Moreover, I can afford a microwave oven but not more days from a helper.
There are simple ones that shut off if going too long, with dials not buttons, lower power, etc.
If it's a chair I would recommend faux leather and if you also can cover it, that's a bonus. Anything easy to clean. Search for "chucks pads disposable" you can put them on a chair, sofa or the bed when they sleep. Super helpful! Get a mattress cover that is waterproof like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Utopia-Bedding-Zippered-Mattress-Encasement/dp/B00U6HREPQ/ref=sr\_1\_8?crid=3KP4ZAI6831TH&dchild=1&keywords=waterproof+mattress+cover&qid=1634002233&sr=8-8
Just got this for my dad. You can connect cellphone and the ringer is LOUD! VTech DS6621-2 DECT 6.0 Expandable Cordless Phone with Bluetooth Connect... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KJJCL9K/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_glt_fabc_FM7VMRK5YKNGDN5KTDZ6
I'm sorry, I don't know which gates we have exactly. Here are some pictures of our set up. https://imgur.com/a/apexhoZ
Quick search on Amazon, this looks about the size as the one we have in our hallway at night. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B079DDK47V/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_H5Y7E8H6XKMW94X1H0MB?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We put latches on the outside doors do my grandmother couldn't leave. It allowed me to sleep better as I didn't have to follow her every time she got up. Now I'm also using a baby/pet gate in the hallway at nighttime so she can only go to the bathroom or our bedrooms, but not out into the rest of the house.
Latches installed high on the doors https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B08B35YC3C
When my mom got to the point where she had trouble identifying what was going on TV, even relatively innocuous things became problematic. She somehow got hooked on the History Channel and then I started getting weird requests from her based on what she'd seen on Ancient Aliens 🤦♂️
I don't know what the True Neutral of television is, but some random things that come to mind: Bob Ross, concerts (symphonic maybe? Could take some ideas from the guests on the Muppets)... you could load up on ambient sights/sounds like https://www.amazon.com/Soothing-Stream-Ambient-Nature-Video/dp/B01MTZ3YPQ which are common in hospitals.
I wish I had some better ideas because I could use them myself, although my mom hardly pays attention to the TV anymore.
Fill out an ICE card (link provided for illustration- you can easily print off your own for free) and put it in all of her bags. If she carries a cellphone, put the emergency contact info on the lock screen. Also, enable location sharing. Your family will have to learn to be vigilant. Never leave them in a vehicle with keys, put a bell on the door that will alert you when it opens.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CYLEBSO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
That's the link right to its page! I saw they had other products you might want to skim through, but I was tight on funds so can only vouch for this one lol
Yes, we were given a set of Vtech model dm221-2 pu monitors. The 2 parent units have a push to talk button.https://imgur.com/a/gfuiqLW The baby unit is always broadcasting. Mostly we use it to hear if my LO needs help while she's in her bedroom.
Here are some of the things I've come up with spending waaay too much time in hospitals with loved ones.
Nasal cannulas suck. I had to spend half my time fighting to get them to keep it in their noses because they are irritating and inevitably cause sores. I often wondered why they couldn't use something less intrusive, perhaps like the Dreamwear apnea mask
Hospitals are noisy. Giving patients lightweight, noise-canceling earphones that play gentle, ambient noise would lower distress. Couple these with eyemasks for nighttime use so when people barge into the room flipping on all the lights the patient can awaken more gently.
Some way to pull themselves back up when they slip down in bed. Perhaps a conveyer belt with a roller at the top and bottom that could be triggered to drag them upward. The whole ordeal with having two carers grab the sheet on either side and hoist them upwards could be avoided. This would also save wear and tear on the carer's back and allow a single carer to reposition.
I used to have this on my faucet. It screws on and you flip the tab on the side to go between filtered vs non-filtered water. First thing that came to my mind but it would be very easy for her to change the tab on the side back to regular unfiltered water.
Here's a tile tracker too to stick on the card. Works with alexa too.
I had a plumber install a zwave water valve, I think you can probably get them in wifi also, in all of the bathrooms and sinks and at the main water valve to the house.
My mom loved to clean dishes and would take dishes out of the cabinet 2 or 3 times a day and clean them (yes HOT water) and she'd rinse each and every dish until it squeaked. I'd turn the water off at the sink remotely every day and if my wife needed to use the water, she could turn it on with the app and back off.
was a pain to do this every day, but it worked.
For the bathroom tiles, etc. use a bucket of hot water, a cup of vinegar, 1/4 of baking soda, a dash of dish soap and a squeeze of lemon. The same combination in a spray bottle worked on the mattress well enough. You’ll have to blot it up well and let it dry well. Clorox fabric sanitizer also worked miracles. It’s used in the rinse cycle. You’ll have to investigate whether it’s safe for use around asthmatics.
After a few accidents that overnight Depends couldn’t handle we invested in these pads which hold a ton of liquid and protected our furniture with:
Premium Quality Bed Pad, Quilted, Waterproof, and Washable, 34" x 52" The Best Underpad Sheet Protector for Children or Adults with Incontinence (2-Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4L4KLV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EHH5B1X2TTJH9B0DKS08?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1.
Hypnoser Adult Weighted Blanket Queen Size (20 lbs, 60''x80'' ) | Cooling Heavy Blanket | 100% Breathable Material with Pure Glass Beads https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082WYP5YL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_DDXGJKFTWKNKE895AE2A
Fidget Blanket Alzheimers Toys for Adults with Dementia Sensory Products for Elderly, Suitable for Alzheimers and Autistics Therapy, Relieving Anxiety https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LVVKM5H/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_72YGC5R3EP8KDFJVMG9P
That is a lovely idea - anything that brings her joy is wonderful.
Here is the exact pupper ( animatronic ) I purchased for mum. It gives her so much joy. It responds when you talk to it by turning its head and makes sweet barking noises and then when it is not being “activated” by touch or voice stimuli - it just goes quiet.
Also it has a “mute” mode so it’s still responds but no barking. It’s not barking per se, just little cute doggie noises.
Sorry for the epic URL
I bought these: Defender Security S 4180 Doorknob Lock-Out Device – Doorknob Lock with Key to Block Access to Keyhole, Removeable and Easy to Use, Fits Round Doorknobs with Max Diameter of 2-7/8” https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CGYNFF0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_FMXM5DW9PH6FERYGJ9W4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
We put them on at night and she hasn’t been able to wander out. I feel so much better knowing she will be safe in the home all night.
I would put a lock on the door. It's so difficult for them to understand when they act this way, I've learned for safety and protecting the condition of the house it's best to just barricade them from the items causing the obsessive behavior. It's hard to get used to locking things away from them, and you might feel bad, but it will really lower the stress you experience and protect the house. I bought this lock for my side room, as my grandma does not wash her hands very well and will take every dish in the kitchen while we sleep and move them around. I had to put all of my kitchen utensils in my tiny bedroom to avoid her from messing around. It's worked really well so far. It's like $20 and goes around the outside of the handle. https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Line-4180-Door-Lock-Out-Device/dp/B00BOZBDK6/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=door+knob+lock&qid=1613977840&sr=8-2
So one of the things that really helped when I started this journey was this book 36 hour day I wish you the best as this is one of the most difficult things but pray you can find peace and understanding.
I have a locked drawer in the kitchen for knives and scissors. I had to ruin the face of the drawer, but I can buy a new one later. https://www.amazon.com/Prime-Line-Products-9945-Drawer-Cabinet/dp/B000BDB686?ref_=ws_cp_6df41fc8250c5424e730_p_5_t_p
I feel you, hard. My dad is like this and I think a lot of is just hating the feeling of being told what to do so flat out refusing feels sometimes like a power issue. It's not logical at all but a way to assert some control when so much has been taken away. Super frustrating. For both of us, I'm sure. I've started to try the same approach with having things available. At least it's there and I've tried.
It won't help with that issue, but just throwing this out there... A long time ago an elderly friend of mine gave up on the pc because his hand shook too much and I gave him a Microsoft easy ball, a large track ball designed for kids that made it possible for him to use the pc again. Maybe your dad would give it a look?
Something like this https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0006ZM7VY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabt1_xdlVFbD7VD7YZ
I would recommend reading In Pursuit of Memory: The Fight Against Alzheimer's by Joseph Jebelli. Dr. Jebelli does a good job of telling the history of the disease, as well as introducing the reader to the doctors who are working on medication and treatment strategies.
This looks perfect (and cheap)! It’s on Amazon.
Universal Big Button TV Remote - EasyMote DT-R08W Backlit, Easy Use, Smart, Learning Television & Cable Box Controller, Perfect for Assisted Living Elderly Care. White TV Remote Control https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M1UV2T2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_epqxCbY5B7SXA
I had the same thought.... and I guess so did a lot of people. Here is one by the same artist, who changed the cover. In the description in amazon it says its the exact same just with a different colour!
You can actually order it right through Amazon =)
Sure, I'd be happy to share it. link
I'm sorry about the cost on there. I tried to make it free, but Amazon has minimum amounts required. She's not making any money off this, it's just Amazon getting their amount out of it.
If you have a food processor or blender your could maybe make the food puréed. Otherwise Hormel makes puréed dishes that can be microwaved. No idea on the taste...
Maybe the smells of the house will still insight some nice memories/feelings regardless that her dish looks different from everyone else’s.