Yeah, no job.
More seriously though, have you considered freelancing? I got burnt out working at a corporate finance place but freelancing is seriously do-able, especially in today's economy. There's a great subreddit at /r/freelance and many resources for those interested in it such as The Freelancer's Bible. You can also find more information about jobs that are good for HSPs at highlysensitiverefuge.com.
There's a good book for this -- Addicted to the Monkey Mind by JF Benoist. Also, the noting technique in meditation. Good luck!
Can 100% relate, brown noise is usually my go-to in these instances!
I've also got these earplugs that help to block out some lower frequency bassy noise but still let through higher frequency sound, so they take the edge off a little.
These are the ones: Link
I use sunglasses made for traversing glaciers.
Glasses are Category 4 (pretty dark) with side shields.
Link to Amazon!
I grew up in Florida, where it's at least 32°C everyday during the summer and our A/C was always on the fritz.
My pro tip is to buy some menthol body wash, and use that when you take cold showers - This one looks good!
I couldn't find the same brand I used to use, but any "cooling" body wash should contain a bit of menthol. Also drinking ice water while in a cold shower just feels good. And, if you're into beer, having an ice cold Shower Beer is an excellent way to beat the heat lol
First, since it's later on Friday, I do hope you've made it out of town to a quieter place and that you have a couple days of rest and recharge.
I am a 'burbs dweller so it's relatively quiet here. I do have to go into the city a couple times a month though and it wears me out. I can certainly see where living and working in the city would completely burn a person out!
Your political climate comment really struck me. I am over 60 and live in the US. I don't recall a time when the country wasn't at war that there was so much anger and negative energy being focused on one another. It's exhausting. As others have suggested, I try to limit my intake which unfortunately also sometimes limits my activities. I would like to be more active in the processes that I support but have to hold back on a lot just to stay functional!
I saw an article today though re: people with extreme policitcal views and it made me think of this thread. The basic jist was that those with extreme views have trouble thinking about their own thinking. They are absolutely convinced they are right and aren't inclined to look at any other side of an issue. It made me wonder how many HSPs are like this? I suspect not a lot. It seems like we tend to look at all sides of things. It can definitely make for difficult decision making - but all of the HSPs I know personally are open to the idea that our beliefs may not be the final and correct answer.
Here's a link to the article in case anyone is interested:
I don't know of any articles, but this book was recommended to me by my therapist. I'm still waiting for it to arrive, so I can't give a personal review, but it's well rated on Amazon.
I can't believe you all can stand microfiber. I can't handle the synthetic fabric at all.
High thread count cotton is the only thing that feels really good to me.
I have these ones from Amazon, when I bought them the sage was $30, now the light blue is $24...
Can you buy stuff from amazon?
I would recommend one of these for when you want air and will put up with the noise and one of these when you don't want either noise or air.
To be fair to the HVAC installers and play devils advocate, the vents need to be installed in specific locations to optimize airflow throughout the house. They wouldn't be professionals if they ignored best practice.
I have the Gamma Ray glasses and I'm pretty happy with them. They have a slight amber tint but it's not very noticeable. It's honestly hard to know if these things work but I wear mine regularly at night and find them helpful.
They are the MAXROCK Total Soft Silicon Earphones! I got them on Amazon but I think they are on ebay too!
I sleep on my side so it was always hard to wear earbuds to sleep but these are small and soft enough that I don't notice them!
for Android users... Lux "dims" your screen lower than system settings.
Lux Lite is the free version.
The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. It's not specific to HSPs, but helped me tremendously to be more comfortable and less overwhelmed. I read it before I found out about HSP and after looking back, I'm glad I found that book when I did. It helped me to be at peace with who I was and helped to stop much of my anxiety.
Also, The War of Art is a really good one. I feel like we tend to pick on ourselves a lot, at least I do. This book helped me to stop with the self-pity. I would tend to get depressed and then be depressed that I was depressed. It was an endless cycle. I felt like I was almost attached to my depression, but this helped me let it go.
I've found that by practicing self-love and being comfortable with who I am, I'm actually able to bypass some of my sensitive habits (the ones that hold me back, like not being able to speak on the phone with customer service -__-). I'm extremely tough on myself and constantly over analyzing others opinions of me. Those two books above helped me to work with my body instead of against it and also gave me confidence to dive deeper into some of my passions, which in turned has done so much for my mental and physical health!
Is this the one you’re talking about?
Do you use that instead of a comforter or do you put it on top of the comforter?
As I recall they make night driving glasses that help with glare and brightness levels. Soething like this might be worth a shot.
Night Driving Glasses
Ding, ding! Nudist friend on sight!! 🤣
Jokes aside, I understand you. Although I don’t walk around naked, even at an apartment by myself, it’s a fact that a quick way to feel more comfortable is to have less clothes on. It’s a lot nicer to do any exercise without anything on top than with a T-shirt on, if you ask me. It’s also nicer to run shirtless, but I never do it like that in public because it would look pretentious.
It’s quite possible that your “tactile sensitivity” or “nakedness comfort factor” (or whatever you want to call it 🤣) is higher than mine. In that case, it would bring you more comfort. If you think it might be due to something else however (such as over-stress), try to start working on making things better on that end too and reducing those stressors. Being naked, half-naked, or in your nicest clothes, may bring you comfort and relaxation, but it won’t fix the other problems. It’s important to work on reducing those stressors, if it’s possible.
Have a happy day! 🙂
Also, from self-experience, I bet this would be very comfortable for you, it’s better than a carpet: https://www.amazon.com/ProSource-Puzzle-Solid-Foam-Play/dp/B07GY1PH4K/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=1ASNUCUSYFGQ3&keywords=prosource+kids+foam+play+16&qid=1669386720&sprefix=prosource+kids+foam+play+16%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-2
Sorry, that's the wrong book.
Try this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1462526780/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=selfcompassio-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1462526780&linkId=0ef7d4127d25166a4c010cb49ec1b047
I can relate to this. I've gone on meetup.com and found groups for creative writing, movie-goers, book clubs, groups for introverts...that can sometimes be nice because you can try out different groups and go to events when you feel like it.
My local library also has some groups like that where you can show up and do crafts while you chat with people. Some community centers have watercolor classes or drop-in ceramics.
Other times, like you mentioned, I try to find inspiration from books and movies.
I've also found some creative volunteer opportunities on volunteermatch.org, like leading creative writing workshops for teens, or being an usher at the local theatre, or a museum tour guide.
I hope that you can find what's missing!
I understand that you're feeling that way, but you are a worthwhile person and have a lot of great qualities. It sounds like you just haven't met the right people yet, but they are out there.
What are some of your interests or hobbies? I've found some groups through meetup.com like for HSPs, introverts, book clubs, etc. and that's been nice because it connects me with more people that I can relate to.
Please be kind to yourself and don't give up!
I hear you- for me, I find it hard to initiate friendships and I think that's part of the reason why I spend so much time by myself. Is there anyone in your classes that you'd be interested in getting to know? Maybe you could strike up a conversation with them or join a club at your college (they're usually listed online). My college also had some groups through the counseling center, like one group was a weekly meetup where people played board games and ate pizza (the idea being to learn more social skills).
Have you reached out to the guys whose numbers you have?
I think meetup.com can also be a good place to try to make new friends.
I know it might seem tough, but maybe take it a step at a time and set small goals to get to know people, even if it's just saying hi or asking about their day, and then progress to asking to hang out.
In the meantime, try to be kind to yourself. I'm sure that you have a lot of great qualities!
I think it depends on how things ended. If someone tells me specifically that they don't want to be friends anymore and/or don't want to hear from me again then I would probably not contact them. But if something happened and you just sort of drifted apart after that then I think it's okay to send one message to reach out and then wait for a reply. Then if you don't get one you will know how they feel. But I would also encourage you to try to meet new people through groups like on meetup.com or Facebook groups.
Hmm interesting. Have you heard of the 20-20-20 rule? (Stare out the window 20 metres away, for 20 seconds, every 20 minutes.) I always forget to do it after a while though, when the work gets interesting...
I had an OLED smartphone in 2016 (OnePlus X), and found that after using it late at night, I somehow felt much more tired... even compared to using only my 144Hz VA monitor at night.
The f.lux blog have written about OLED before, and I found it very helpful and detailed. I hope you're able to find the perfect solution for your needs!
Ugh yes this is me. I've had to make several changes in the past year to help alleviate the headaches and sore muscles in my neck. I got the Coop Pillow because you can add or remove the fill to adjust it. I've also gotten a standing desk which helps alleviate the forward-head thing most folks do when sitting down. I also do chin tucks and I do some manual release of my sub occipital muscles with a tennis ball or this (overpriced but helpful) knuckle thingy.
I took me a year to make this (below). Much of it in a town where I knew no one, in a cramped 1-loft cabin (no doors inside to block out tv/ipad/phone convo noise) crowded with crap that wouldn't fit in the space (my wife wants stuff, I do not). I was watching my 5yr old, with family (babysitting) over 1000 miles away. Town has almost no shopping. Closest real town 70+ miles away. Some of the time I cleaned offices or coffee shops, other part of the time I worked in a log mill without walls, during north Idaho winter. Couldn't sleep because dust asthma (couldn't breathe) which lead to 3 month long flu. I didn't have time enough to develop social media /followers to support my product...it took all my willpower/concentration/time to just design/make the product (out of thin air). I wouldn't say that anyone really thought it was a good idea. I was the lone believer, using my stubborn despair as fuel. Illogical belief, making something I've never seen before, that nobody asked for. When I was done, I had a very few people who really knew me amazed, and the rest of the world carried on like it never happened. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B45DX9Z2
I hope this could help, but I apologize if this is not accurate to your situation. This has helped me dealing with managing how others feel about me and ruminating over the past. Best of luck, friend! You are a great person and the way your sister in law makes you feel is not okay! You are a great human being and you deserve a peaceful mind!
>I just want to let it go and move on.
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins. Cannot recommend it enough.
There are some theories that sensitivity is bidirectional — that is, you can be hypersensitive (what we usually talk about), but also hyposensitive. And one person can be hyper/hypo about different senses at the same time! I can see it in myself: I love spicy food, but am easily overwhelmed by sound. My brother is the opposite!
I found this book to be really helpful in understanding this idea: http://amazon.com/Making-Sense-Guide-Sensory-Issues/dp/193556756X
Of course, you were welcome to take it as a compliment. But I shared that link because "gifted" is actually a neurodivergent trait that is worth looking into if it pertains to you.
There is surprisingly not a lot of quality information out there yet. But I found this video to have some interesting ideas to put forth (link is timestamped to one slide that really stood out to me - the whole thing is worth watching though). I'm also about 1/4 of the way through this book which I've found helpful.
Anyway, I could be wrong but if this is you, again it's worth looking into. Also, imo, don't bother with r/gifted. Haven't found much meaningful content there after joining about a month ago.
The issue for me has always been believing both the good times and the bad times will last forever. Neither do; the universe is in an unending state of transition. We are not immune or exempt from that change but dammit if we have a hard time realizing that when we are riding the dopamine high. Once it wears off, however, it feels like we will never experience it again.
"You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it will make you less miserable now."
- Abraham Lincoln
I highly recommend Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins. When I was at my lowest of lows (fresh out of the ward), a very good friend told me this was the first and most valuable book they read after their husband decided to leave this world by his own hand. Hawkins teaches you how to break down what you are feeling and how to navigate from complete hopelessness to complete hopefulness.
It ain't easy, I can tell you that much. You very much have to surrender yourself to whatever sorrow, pain, anguish, grief, depression, or apathy you may be fighting. It may scare the living sh*t out of you but I promise that if you throw yourself in to it, we will see you on the other side a more powerful spirit.
In the meantime, give this song a listen. I recently ran across it and boy does it ever speak to me.
Shinedown - Daylight
You got this.
Not everybody can be a fire fighter. I wish there was a way to turn it off but I have yet to find it. The best I can say is no, you are not alone. No, you are not unsupported. It may very well be you are there to support them but must look outside of them for your own support.
>I can’t help but feel that if I can’t have a close relationship with them I shouldn’t have one at all, that I should cut them off, because it’s so painful.
I have done this, does not work. You will always wonder what if and question your decision. The way I look at it is this - I run towards the danger, not away from it. I would much rather feel the pain than leave it hanging out there unresolved. Mainly because no matter what, I know it will still be there.
However, make sure you protect yourself because this ish can be overwhelming AF. Look for MeetUp groups in your area, post on this sub (great support group), randomly IM somebody from this sub (I love it when people reach out to me because I know how much it hurts) do some research on how to handle being an HSP. A lot of people recommend Aron's book (see subreddit sidebar) and I do as well but another one I have found nearly invaluable is The Handbook For Highly Sensitive People by Mel Collins. Basically a survival guide for situations you will find yourself in.
Again and most importantly you need to understand you are not alone in this. There are people out there that want to help you get through the out of control roller coaster you have unknowingly ended up riding.
Take care of yourself, you got this.
I highly suggest this book written by the person who coined the term HSP.
I also suggest using this link if you would like to try before you buy.
Hey! I think I have been there.
Are you sure the audio devices are properly calibrated? Did you also try different types of earphones?
For me, I am used to the older on-ear earphones, and find the now popular in-ear earphones too suffocating. It took a while to find the right fit. But even besides the fit, it turns out that not all earphones play all the frequencies equally well. I have spent an hour or so on every earphone I own to make them sound "just right". As another comment pointed, playing around with equalizer settings using apps like Wavelet or Bass Booster could help with that!
I bought these and I'm very satisfied with their blackout ability. Under the very brightest light I can just make out a bit of the weave, but that's all. Of course part of the key is blacking out around the edges of the curtains too, but a lot depends on the season and the angle of the sunlight.
Please don't put foil on your windows. Would highly recommend these:
Bedding 2 Panels Grey Rod Pocket Blackout Curtains, Thermal Insulated for Bedroom and Living Room, Room Darkening Curtains Blackout Draperies (W52 x L84 Inches) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DT80JSW/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_NHJSGQE8Q6RFATR3A03A?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
There's a book I really enjoyed called Making Sense (link) by Rachel Schneider. The book is more about sensory processing disorder than HSP per se, but I still found it very useful.
She describes all the senses separately, in great detail, including ones we don't usually talk about, like proprioception. And most interestingly, she proposes that many people are either hyper (more) sensitive or hypo (less) sensitive to particular senses. 'Neutral' sensitivity happens, too.
For example, I think I'm hyposensitive to taste, so I tend to want spicier food. Yet I'm hypersensitive to sound, so I tend to avoid loud sounds and constant noise. My brother, however, is exactly opposite to me in both of these senses!
Anyway, I recommend the book. Looks like there's an audio version of it as well as print & e-book.
At one point I didn't understand these things either. Have you read/listened to Elaine N Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person? If not, it's a good place to start learning about yourself. Elaine is a psychologist and she's the one who found, coined and mapped HSP. It's due to her research and authoring we all gather in this sub here today. I think you'll enjoy it. :)
I use https://www.amazon.com/3M-1100-Foam-Plugs-200-Pair/dp/B008MVYL7Cevery day. helps me to fall a sleep and I use them in crowded places as well
I'm in Washington. Not a good place for HSP. Anger is thick in the air here. We've narrowed it down to head to either back to Illinois or New York in a few months. We should start a chat or group where those local could meet up in real life. Meetup.com kinda sucks and people claim to be HSP but obviously aren't. I've been to one of those meetups here, too, (like peacelovevegansusie) and they were talking about different realms and being psychic - things like that. It was uncomfortable.
I mostly use a Jungian approach. This book laid most of the groundwork for me to get going. The first half is about dreamwork and is only around 100 pages.
I wrote up a quicker guide loosely based on the book here in this comment thread. If I can answer any other questions or help with a specific interpretation, just let me know!
this is what I got!
Here's how I've explained it to some people : you know those people who can't help but cringe when they hear nails creaking against a blackboard?
Well when I'm HSPing real hard, every single fucking sound, voice or stimulus feels that way.
> how do you take control of your nervous system when it is particularly active?
Ironically enough, music (either repetitive electronic music or music I've heard thousands of times) or sound like the rain, white noise, etc.
I live in Ontario, Canada, but have been to Vancouver before and I think it's fantastic! A lot of open air and water, the islands are beautiful and so are the mountains, and it's not overcrowded like Toronto.
Of course I wouldn't know, but I find it hard to believe that any area doesn't have a geek crowd at all. Surely nerds live in all areas of the world, no? haha. Perhaps they're a minority, but they gotta be there. Maybe you can find them in hobby stores, or through facebook groups or meetup.com.
I made a lot of friends in university, but then half-way through my undergrad I had to move back home due to expensive rent living on residence, and so now sometimes I have to commute 1.5 - 2 hours just to see my uni friends and for us to hang out just for 2 hours before x friend's free time is up and he has to be off again to do some other chore, and i'm back on the bus again for yet another 1.5h commute. My point is perhaps friends are a bit further out of your immediate area, but if you find them I have found they are worth that annoying/boring/sometimes sensory overload while on the bus commute!
(https://www.amazon.com/Set-Boundaries-Find-Peace-Reclaiming/dp/0593192095/)[Set Boundaries, Find Peace] is a great book about this. It's clear, simple, and filled with head nodding examples. It helped me a lot, though I'm still far from perfect.
I started sleeping with earplugs in early 2020 and I sleep so much better now.
These are great for sleeping.
You might find episode 0265 titled ‘Myers-Briggs Judging Function Idealism’ of the Personality Hacker Podcast interesting. Even if you’re not into personality typology, the podcast touched on this innate need to want to convey thoughts accurately. Here’s a link if you’d like to check it out. https://castbox.fm/vd/128793921
I've been reading this book, which has been really helpful in me understanding Narcissists in my life. I wasn't physically abused, more neglected and emotionally manipulated and used.
It has been really helpful so far; I'm part way through.
If you are HSP and and they are caring people, then they should be even more respectful of your boundaries. Sounds like they are just using it to blame/gaslight you. Narcissists will target their victims with abuse, and tell the victim that it's the victim's fault. Sounds toxic.
As an HSP, I found that my emotional sensitivity was used against me; since I was so responsive to others emotions and was sensitive about my feelings, those things were used to make me have to pay attention to the Narc to make him/her happy. And used by siblings to put me down.
This thing has actually changed my life. I can’t even begin to tell you what it’s like to wake up by light, not sound. No more panic. No more being jolted awake. Just a gentle opening of my eyes, feeling refreshed and ready for the day. I have mine set to get gradually brighter over the course of an half hour. I swear by this thing so much.
Philips Smart Sleep Wake-Up Light
This is the one that my therapist sent me and I’ve been using but there are other workbooks out there too! Self-Love Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are https://www.amazon.com/dp/1647397294/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_8EDM1JT51GF493ETK3BR
Please excuse me if I sound rude or dismissive, that is not my intent here
Do not look to others for validation, parents and role models included. Their opinions do not change your existence. There are humans that think the earth is flat, it has no bearing on reality.
This book may help.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck.
If I recall correctly, she's the one that invented the term "HSP".
Sure! It’s this: Zentrip Motion Sickness Relief Strips, 8Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004S30AAK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EE3XG53G63FPM9QYT02N
It’s like those melting breath strips. It’s fast acting (unlike dramamine that you need to take like 30 min in advance or something), no side effects (for myself at least) and it works really well. I don’t wanna guarantee results cuz everyone is different, but for me it’s been a life saver. The first time I discovered it at a local drug store, I was suuuuper carsick from a bus ride where I stupidly forgot that facing backwards is a major trigger for me, so I was dying/barely able to hold it together, and once I took it, I felt better enough to take a bus the rest of the way home.
The taste is orange and slightly medicine-y but for me it’s tolerable for the relief it provides.
There’s also Seaband, the pressure point wristbands, if you wanna check out non-drug options. I’ve had pretty decent results with it but these strips are also helpful in addition when I get a really bad case.
I’ve also recently been looking at this digital wristband called Reliefband, it’s pretty expensive (tho right now they’re having a sale so I might get it cuz I could def use it) and seemingly lots of good reviews. So if your dizziness is super frequent, that might be something that could help you, too.
I hope you can find some relief soon! 💜 Dizziness/nausea from motion sickness/vertigo/etc. is awful and makes you feel like you might die, so I totally understand how necessary it is to find solutions.
I found this DBT Skills Workbook helpful in learning how to deal with my emotions and respond in healthier ways. Also sometimes it's good old fashioned comfort food and alone time with the teddy bear.
> i know about it except its expensive
I'm not sure what your definition of expensive is, but you can pick up a bottle of 120 capsules (200mg ea) for $10 on Amazon:
That's 8 cents per capsule. That's pretty cheap, in my book.
> i just go for green tea which ahs some in
Green tea only has 10 to 20mg per cup. Mostly people don't see real calming effects until ~100mg.
I see a lot of people saying they use headphones a lot so I thought I'd share this link! They aren't super amazing quality but they are great for the price, come in a pack of three, AND come with a $20 amazon gift card. I bought them to keep a pair in my car, purse, and bedroom, and I've already used the $20 gift card without any issues! https://www.amazon.com/Earphones-Headphones-Microphone-Earbuds-Smartphones/dp/B08B5F336L
hi you are welcome my dear hsp sister:)
well first of all,
could it be possible that your mum is also an hsp?
mostly it is passed from mother or father to the kids.
however if you get only negative feedback from your mum then you should avoid talking to her openly about your feelings.
you need people where you can talk openly without being judged. even if it is only on reddit. It helps!
yes in the uk you habe to pay for university? I heard it is expensive, come to germany its cheaper :)
what I would do in your case is to look for some how qualification as a english as foreing language teacher. there are some out where you can get a certificate by a university within a month class.
then if you say I cant travel by flight, you still can teach online I would recommend italki which is good in my opinion.
there other thing is find something you are creative and like to share it with others.
For example I published some books on amazon and my first audibook on audible I love it.
I wish would start it with 20s, so you can do it!
so look for something where your time passes and you feel great.
maybe it is teaching, maybe writing, maybe painting and maybe you start it as a hobby and maybe you find a way to get more financial freedom.
You can travel europe also by train. you can go to paris by train and also teach there as a efl teacher.
I found these amazing sports bras on Amazon that are comfy and actually give the classic bust shape instead of just smushing my ta tas like my old workout bras did. Sounds like they might be what you're looking for, and it's totally risk-free since they do free returns!
I recently bought these fruit of the loom bras on amazon. Originally for just wearing around the house, but they are super comfy and flattering and I wear them all the time now.
I’ve also gotten one similar to the one you linked at target. They have bralettes like that.
I got mine off amazon too the best investment ever. Here is the exact one I got https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BPBHWLG?ref=myi_title_dp&th=1
The book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman helped me as an early steppingstone for my emotional development. I can recommend it even though it's popular science.
Tips and tricks:
As an advanced topic I recommend reading up on Rational Emotive Behaviour.
These are the ones I prefer: Sony Noise Cancelling Headphones... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4YL6BM?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I also have some inner ear buds that I use when my partner is snoring at night... less comfortable than over ear but they at east help me get to sleep: Sony MDRXB50AP Extra Bass Earbud Headset (Black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JRD13T8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_weCsEbSD73TY8
Edit to add: for over the ear headphones you can find them on ebay for much less than amazon. Also within Reddit, people sell their older model when they upgrade.
I'm not aware of non-self-help books about being HSP since the official study itself is relatively new to the field. However, there is a short documentary called Sensitive: The Untold Story that is made more for non-HSPs to understand the trait, or to help HSPs self-identify. Here is a link to rent it on Amazon Prime Video: https://www.amazon.com/Sensitive-Untold-Story-Alanis-Morissette/dp/B01M4MDZFR
I hope you find this helpful! I've also had to try and explain my trait to my bf. Maybe this is the after Valentine's dinner activity I pick :)
Hope this helps!
I just got a pair of Work Tunes and they are fabulous!
To help in the meantime, you can get some ear plugs like these. I work in a fairly loud environment and they help a lot.
After I read a book from Elaine Aron, I felt much better. I know understand why I feel different about things and now I can handdle these things.
For example, I was very nervous for a job interview. I thought of it and realised I was nervous because there was a gate before the building and I didn't know how it opened. So I went to the building and saw that the gate opened automaticly when there was a car. After that I wasn't nervous anymore.
The book was this one:
I have to use a white noise machine app and sleep headphones like these: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014T3QLBA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_bSRSBbXHNH69G
With the headphones playing that white noise directly in my ears it blocks out all other noise. I was even able to sleep through an exes sleep apnea sometimes. The only problem is now I’m completely dependent on them and can’t sleep without them.
Pure Encapsulations - GABA - Supports Positive Mood and Relaxation* - 120 Capsules https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PQVU9Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_USLiBbVTASHZR
I have used it primarily for anxiety. Lately my anxiety is well managed so I'm using it now for stress easing stress. I really like this one personally. I haven't tried another brand. If you don't mind me asking what's CNS?
My roommate tosses and turns pretty much all night and the noise of her bed frame creaking would pull me out of even the deepest sleep. (Dont even get me started on when she would have her boyfriend over!!!)
Fortunately this thing has cured it all. Good luck to you!
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6w5 here. The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut does a really deep dive on all the types and their nuances.
> include him in my leadership circle. Perhaps he could be my eyes and ears into the organizational dynamics
This is a great idea. I report directly to a regional director and while not in my original job description, I have become his "right-hand woman" because of my ability to notice where things can be improved.
Also, he might enjoy the book "The Power of Habit"; it touches on the most effective habits of organizations.
Excellent book, I recommend it as well.
Elaine Aron coined the term HSP, and she is one herself. She knows her stuff :)
I am now reading another one of her books "The Highly Sensitive Person In Love", which discusses more about relationships (mostly romantic ones, but others as well). Learning how to maintain relationships sounds like a practical way of fighting the loneliness.
Edit: There are new issues from 2016 with updated research:
The Highly Sensitive Person
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love
I actually just ordered the QC25 a month ago or so to replace the QC15 ones I've used for years and loved. So far no problems. It does use up batteries rather quickly.
I also have a pair of their earbuds - they are smaller for every day travel. I wear them on the train when I commute to work. Link
At some point I discovered earplugs, and now I wear them everywhere. I recommend these, they're super cheap and comfortable:
The German book title you'll find here. https://www.amazon.de/Bis-hierher-nicht-weiter-zentrieren/dp/3466309980
He wrote a book for HSP a while ago. But that has not been translated to English. So I'm not sure this one will. But since I'm reading it anyways, I can try to write a summary afterwards, if anyone is interested. A big part of the book seems also to be exercises. Haven't gotten so far into it yet...
The PDF is easy to find online. I've quit and it's greatly reduced my stress. I have no cravings, I was able to go for a walk with my smoking friend one day 2 and not have the desire to smoke.
Just catching up with reading . . .
Good luck with adjusting your diet regarding tannins! That's very interesting info. If eliminating tannins doesn't work, perhaps you'd like to check out info on adrenal fatigue. It sounds as though that could be an issue too. Just a thought . . .
Any form of pressure usually impairs our performance. Our best skill creativity does not function well with a deadline. I have a hypothesis as to why this is the case. It has to do with creativity stemming from the fulfillment of needs (Maslow's hierarchy of needs, John Cleese on Creativity &amp; the book The Artist's Way). Time pressure is a threat. Which prevents us from feeling safe. If we don't feel safe, we will struggle to be creative.
Well, you can start by not throwing books in the trash. That is not where they go. I'll assume he gave you the core HSP book. Suggest to him that he read the book on HSPs in the workplace and create a list of suggestions that the two of you can discuss and implement.
Don't come in here and tell us we have an "affliction". It's rude, and oh yeah, in*sensitive*.
> I have adopted the following managerial operating system for him.
If it's for him, he's better suited to tell you if it's useful than we are. But fine, since you want our input...
Bottom line though, it will benefit both you and your employees if instead of just skimming the book on the topic, you develop an honest desire to actually understand the HSP characteristic.
Yes! Meditation! Specifically, Mindfulness. I started off with this. There is an older freebie too. Of course you'd need a relatively quiet place to practice first, maybe take up hiking? The only thing I can say about it, is that it shows you a different way of looking at reality in a non-judgemental way. I don't mean we go around judging people, but our minds judge the noise and deems it "irritating". Being in a mindful state bypasses this judgement the mind puts on things like that. It's not a magic cure, and it only works short term for me but is highly effective in that short term. The default "20 mins" the material suggested starting with is the longest i've been able to truly tolerate and accept an irritating thing in my environment, which is 19 minutes and 59 seconds longer than I ever could before. I don't mean i'm sitting in a meditative state like some idiot while the neighbor is sawing wood either, i'm able to passively accept the noises for about 20 minutes while doing other tasks, i'm assuming as a consequence of my practice and education about my self. I hope the amount of time increases with practice. I only just started two months ago myself and have already seen some improvements.