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Maybe try reading "Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships"by David Schnarch. It was recommended to me here in this thread by /u/amalgamator and my wife and I found it exceptionally helpful when it came to incorporating this word into our bedroom fun. You can check your library for it or here's an Amazon link where you can buy it. (not a referral link).
Specifically I recommend looking into Chapter 10. The chapter is called ^(Fucking, Doing, and Being Done: It Isn't What You Do, It's the Way You Do It) and even just the first few paragraphs of that chapter are an excellent read to experience alongside your spouse. Good luck to you!
Read this book - it is the most hands on, direct guide out there for newlywed/engaged LDS couples.
https://www.amazon.com/Was-Very-Good-Latter-day-Lovemaking/dp/1723742848/ref=nodl_
“And It Was Very Good is much more than the “facts of life.” Subjects discussed in detail include the “thou shalt” of marriage, desire, anatomy, foreplay, female pleasure, male pleasure, the wedding night and much more. The frank but respectful advice in And It Was Very Good is presented in a tasteful manner along with framing in gospel principles”
“And It Was Very Good is a valuable resource of clinically accurate and comprehensive sexual education that fits within the value structure of Latter-day Saints. Many problems I see as a sex therapist could be avoided if couples had this type of information prior to or at the beginning of their marital relationship.” —Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST, host of the "Mormon Sex Info" podcast
It would be extremely helpful when paired with other books that focus less on the act and more on mindset, like “and they were not ashamed”. Not the most complete book on intimacy ever written but it will newly weds important information they need to make sex enjoyable for both people from the beginning.
You can get a free copy at the present time by emailing
Check this one out. I bought it for my wife based on all of the great reviews on Amazon. She says it is far batter than anything she has used before. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09LTPVB9T/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I have a small collection, but I think this is my wife's favorite:
Amazon literally has everything, or you can go straight to the top of the line and get a Womanizer toy. They’re priced high but they really are exceptional.
Start with a vibrator for her from Amazon though. Personally I have 3 of these from Luna… I accidentally ordered 2 and then I bought a 3rd one bc it was glow in the dark haha thought it’d be fun.
Rechargeable Personal Massager - Quiet & Waterproof - 20 Patterns & 8 Speeds - Travel Bag Included - Men & Women - Perfect for Tension Relief, Muscle, Back, Soreness, Recovery - Hot Pink https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YVQC4DR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_TF5D2CDYKVV8PGDCGJNW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Hi! I send you a DM about this. It's a PDF that they will email you for free if you want it, or you can buy it online, it is SUPER great.
https://www.amazon.com/Was-Very-Good-Latter-day-Lovemaking/dp/1723742848/
My parents got us a book about where babies come from. We also had a computer program called A.D.A.M. that taught basic anatomy and some physiology via a scrapbook. The pregnancy expansion was called Nine Month Miracle and went through the development from gametes to baby. It still took me an embarrassingly long time to make the connection between babies and sex. As we got older my parents would answer any questions we had, regardless of how awkward it was.
I also found my mom’s romance novels around age 12 and got into fanfiction about that time as well, so there’s that, lol
Try this book by Esther Perel, "Mating and Captivity." She's a genius and gives very practical doable advise.
Go on Amazon. There are also a lot of online sex toy sites. My wife bought one just after we got married. Together we went online and looked for vibrators and just fun sex toys to use together.
We like to shop on adameve.com. Start with something simple.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DDD3DKP/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_MVRNFCPN3CA92618QJ36
Get a vibrating cock ring. It sounds stupid, but it'll help you get to an orgasm with your husband faster and help you feel more comfortable orgasming with him. When you first have sex, there's a measure of insecurity and embarrassment that you need to overcome and the more you achieve an orgasm, the more you'll know what you want and need to get you there. Slow down and communicate during sex, based on your details he's jackhammering and going crazy... that's why your body needs a break now. Get on top and make him sit still, ride slowly and figure out what feels good, then work up faster and faster. After a few weeks you won't need the ring anymore. You can buy them on amazon so its not embarrassing buying them in the store, here's one we've used... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IMP8PTS/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_HKKPYDEGXECS98KS1TQJ
This one isn't rechargeable though. They're pretty cheap though and you should get a 2-3+ sessions out of it. Maybe 5 or 6 if he really doesn't last long. Lol but supposedly they're supposed to help the guy last longer as well.
This book may give some practical guidance. As has been noted anal takes preparation. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anal-Pleasure-Health-Guide-Couples/dp/B00E3FXQIQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=anal+pleasure&qid=1611081178&sr=8-3
This book helped us reclaim the word pussy.
https://www.amazon.com/Pussy-Reclamation-Regena-Thomashauer/dp/1401950248
Also - anxiety around novel stuff is normal. You tolerating her anxiety and her also making room for your preferences is important.
Idaho Spud, I feel your pain. Here is my suggestion. Ask her to send an email to and request a free eBook written by Earthly Parents called “And It Was Very Good: A Latter-day Saint’s Guide to
Lovemaking”. They will send you the book by email free upon request. You can buy it on Amazon [here](www.amazon.com/Was-Very-Good-Latter-day-Lovemaking/dp/1723742848/)
Motorbunny! its expensive but totally worth it.
Hitachi wand and what I call big purple its 100%silicone and body safe.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FA5RJB8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabt1_0ceWFb655X4KR?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I read this one a while ago. It wasn’t amazing but I think it’s a good discussion starter. There was another but I can’t remember the name. That one was more about positions and suggestions. I found it helpful. A good amazon search will yield some good books to try.
I like the brand Obviously. There are many out there though. Search for ‘pouch’ men’s underwear. They’ve got all the different cut and styles out there.
Obviously Original - AnatoMAX - Boxer Brief 3 Inch Leg https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014JCS9Y8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YfVjFbTX0XGWA
There's a great book called Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski with tons of great exercises to help you navigate situations like this.
One of the exercises that comes to mind is creating a Yes | No | Maybe list. I made a model of one you can download here that might be helpful.
My wife and I have this problem from time to time. We read this book together and it helped her understand me as well as teaching me a few things about her as well.
https://www.amazon.com/They-Were-Not-Ashamed-Strengthening/dp/1587830345