What are /r/shittyfoodporn's favorite Products & Services?

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Oh man, this is good. Where do you get your ideas?

I also work in a conservative environment and always struggle with white elephant at Christmas because they make it soooo boring with like 5 different blankets and candles etc. I've moved on from the safe gift of wine because if I'm gonna waste a whole evening I need something more entertaining. Last year I did the 50 Shades of Chicken cook book. It was hilarious until the poor lady that barely speaks English picked it and no one would trade with her. :(

Lmao it's just science, actually. We've bred tomatoes to the point where they'll be firm enough to ship easily, and large enough to yield a lot of slices. This took out a lot of the taste.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2012/06/28/155917345/how-the-taste-of-tomatoes-went-bad-and-kept-on-going

Protip, this thing is great for nachos and has a shutoff timer. Put the plate right on the turntable and set it to just the top element.

https://smile.amazon.com/Presto-03430-Pizzazz-Plus-Rotating/dp/B00005IBXJ/

Also works pretty well for pizza too i guess. Worst case you pass out and wake up to cold cooked pizza in the morning, better than waking up in the middle of the night to the smoke alarm and burnt pizza.

That's similar to the British All Day Breakfast in a Can, which includes. > Baked beans in tomato sauce with sausages, button mushrooms, chopped pork and egg nuggets with cereal, and bacon.

A review on YouTube

If anyone else is interested in obtaining an 8.5 lb container of Sriracha, Amazon has your back:

https://www.amazon.com/Huy-Fong-Sriracha-Pound-1-Pack/dp/B01GOXJHI2/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1516904665&sr=8-2&keywords=sriracha%2B8.5&th=1

Do yourself a big favor and get one of these. I am pretty good with a knife but, over the next decade would will save your self a lot of time (father of 19 year old twins). https://www.amazon.com/Calphalon-Easy-Apple-Corer-Slicer/dp/B000SOAT0Y/ref=sr_1_4?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1525537485&sr=1-4&keywords=apple+slicer&dpID=41kYvGdkxmL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

Danny Brown bridges the gap between Detroit poor and grad lazy with this line.

Go to Target or similar store and buy a half gallon glass pitcher. They aren't that much, they're about $6. At whatever your local grocery is, pick up a box or two of Celestial Seasonings fruit tea. Any of the fruit Zinger teas are good. The blueberry or cherry ones are also tasty.

Technically, it's a tisane, but that's a gatekeeping distinction, because tea is a tisane, and differentiating based on what particular herbs are in your drink is boring.

Anyway. Drop two teabags into the pitcher, and fill with water. We used filtered, but that's up to you. Stick it in the fridge, and let steep at minimum overnight. Eighteen hours is better, but if you get it in by about eight o'clock, it should be ready mid morning.

Pour and enjoy. Water is boring after awhile. This is pretty much all I drink anymore. There's no sugar, no caffeine, nothing in it except herbal tea. And, a box will get you about five gallons. It's not quite as cheap as water, but it beats pretty much everything else.

Hope things get better for you, too.

I stopped buying this dill pickle popcorn because I will eat the whole bag in one sitting.

Spring rolls are cooked then frozen so there isnt really anything 'raw' about it besides its pale color. Also if this ingredients list is right, there isnt really any risk from these ingredients: http://www.fooducate.com/app#page=product&id=FD8076C8-DCEF-11E2-A48E-1E047F2017A1

Besides shitty ingredients,

Do you also get headaches when eating bananas or chocolate? There's some evidence that tyramine is the culprit.

MSG can also cause headaches and even migraines, in some people.

Blue lights are believed by some scientists to cause the brain to be more alert and thus make it harder to fall asleep. Here is an article about it.

I bought a cheap egg cooker off Amazon, totally worth it. Zero hassle perfect eggs every time.

I think it essentially steams them - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N9TPNF6/ref=sxr_rr_xsim1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pd_rd_pt=moRAG&pf_rd_p=2286650982&pf_rd_r=MC8DK55BWV3AD61PJ71P&pd_rd_wg=DSm8S&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_w=HhUcX&pf_rd...

Because it's is it's own company that has historical arrangements for different regions/countries. Most other sods you think of are probably owned outright by coke or pepsi.

These days it's called dr pepper snapple group, it has gone through a few revisions. From when 7-up was acquired from phillip morris (yes the tobacco phillip morris).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr_Pepper_Snapple_Group#History

The beverage industry is interesting, there's a great Planet Money episode about how cocacola was only 5¢ for 70 years and cocacola's relationship with it's bottlers.

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2015/11/18/456410327/episode-416-why-the-price-of-coke-didnt-change-for-70-years

The only one I've ever used was that one from the wedding (and later the super bowl party). I'm not even sure where they got it, but amazon has the same model for like $250. So it was good, but I wouldn't call it cheap. They have a bunch more in the $40-60 price range, but I can't say if they are good or not.

looks bad Todd made its way around Tumblr a year ago. Maybe longer but the trail goes cold. Sorry to disappoint but SFP is late in the game: https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/looks-bad-todd

MPC-HC by itself isn't anything remarkable, but if you use it as part of the Combined Community Codec Pack (included in CCCP's installer) you get access to better and more efficient codecs and such.

tbh though it's only really relevant for fansubbed anime, where the amount of effort that gets put into typesetting signs in the subtitle track itself means that VLC has historically been unable to accurately decode and render stuff (that and the majority of fansubbers target their releases to the current version of CCCP - it's what's guaranteed to work, and this usually entails requiring cutting edge technologies. Seriously.). It's also been known to do stuff in non-standard ways, leading to bugs and glitches in the decoding.

VLC's a lot better than it used to be now, and for the average Joe it literally does not fucking matter.

canned fake hamburger has 4.2 stars on amazon.

I just don't know what's going on in this world anymore.

It's called Talking Rain, I grew up on that stuff instead of soda. It's great. Don't know if they sell it outside of Washington though. I found an amazon link but it looks stupid expensive. Talking Rain Lemon-Lime

According to posts on the internet, it's sushi if I use the vinegar/sugar/salt mix in the rice. Which I actually made and added.

It's spicy Doritos chicken cordon bleu not frozen processed chicken. Actual source OP even got their title from this facebook post that was featured on buzzfeed food's facebook page.

Is your dad an experienced chef who would be expected to know such things?

When I do an image search for "Crème brûlée" this is what is returned.

In any event I've done "Crème brûlée" the same as you, the one time I've tried, and it tasted divine regardless.

You can buy them on Amazon!

Peeps Yellow Chicks, 10 Count Package - 3 Pack - 30 Chicks Total https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TMAPLH6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_L1IdBb74YAGJV

But it can be hard to wait when you have a craving

Are gherkins in the UK not teeny tiny one bite cucumbers? In the US I have never seen a fresh "gherkin" cucumber and only see them pickled in jars. They are usually maybe an inch or two long and are mostly sweet pickles. Gherkin pickles

Some grocery stores sell frozen White Castle sliders. I think I've seen them in a local grocery store here in the middle of fuck-all PA.

Peeking. Not peaking. Peaking means 'arriving at its highest point'. What you mean is 'casting a quick glance'...i.e. peeking.

In nature, yes. Wild animals are active and constantly moving around. They are only naturally fatter at certain times of the year, but in general less fat than animals bred for food.

Here's a link for more info on usda grading

http://meat.tamu.edu/beefgrading/

There are other factors as well. One very IMPORTANT point which I overlooked. Most cattle is fed on grains. Soybeans and corn. About 50% of the grains grown in the USA is grown to feed farm animals. Grains are also not a cow's natural diet but it is fed to them because its cheaper than growing grass. Especially with GMO varieties. Grains are also responsible for fattening up cows so you can achieve better marbeling in the meat. Fat from cow fed with grain then to be white colored vs. Grass fed cows whose fat is yellowish due to (carotene) pigments in the plant. Sometim cows are grass fed then before slaughter fed a grain bases diet to whiten up the fat.

grass fed cows also have far less saturated fat than grain fed cows.

Edit: 50% not 70% of corn grown to feed livestock. 1% of corn grownis for human consumption. (40+ and growing % of corn grown for ethanol/biofuels) source. Taking the cousera course on food systems https://www.coursera.org/course/foodsys

I love everything about this. I want to make one using this and just stick it by the coffee maker at work and watch the fun unravel.

Have you never heard of grill mats? It's apparently a thing.

Try these

Anything on a roll is bullshit. Pack of these lasts me a couple months.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B01BDBX1LO

Less cleanup than silpats and you can just like slide the whole sheet off if youre doing cookies or whatever. Super convenient.

I feel like it's that Gluten Free Bangkok Curry Instant Rice Noodle Soup. I picked it up at the store when I bought one of every flavor of ramen. The package is super small. The noodles taste and feel odd. The oil leaves a weird coating in your mouth. The taste is almost nothing with a slight tinge of something.

This is absolutely horrifying.

Check out Korean microwaveable rice.

Very sticky white rice. It's wayyy more expensive than cooking your own rice, but some people seem to have rice PTSD, so I thought I'd just throw this out there.

Thats why i got one of these babys.

https://www.amazon.com/Presto-03430-Pizzazz-Plus-Rotating/dp/B00005IBXJ

Waking up to cold slowly rotating pizza in the morning is better than waking up to the smoke alarm and burnt pizza at 4am. Also awesome for nachos.

I'm surprised they don't have some industrial version of a pie slicing press that comes down and kachunk cuts it into the correct slices. (https://www.amazon.com/8-Slice-Cutter-Stainless-Commercial-Side-Handles/dp/B002LGJ1W4)

I came across this at the suggestion of another redditor awhile back. It's literally the closest thing to Kraft Mac and cheese powder you can get. You can mix it into anything to cheese it up, or you can make the cheese sauce itself with a couple tablespoons of butter or margarine and a quarter cup of milk. It seriously jazzes up dishes that need cheese. A tub lasts forever as well, like seriously I'd be surprised if you went through a one pound jug in six months. Props to whoever suggested it to me.

https://www.amazon.com/Hoosier-Hill-Farm-Cheddar-Powder/dp/B0099XPG94

I tried to make this sans the chutney but evidently I did something wrong and it all fell apart while frying. It literally looks like shit. Oh well.

It tastes pretty decent though, and not seen in the photo is the amazing mint chutney I've grown to love.

Looks good! But if you do want a decent knife at a good price

I always thought a banana soylent smoothie sounded amazing. I wonder how this would work added to the powder.

By the way powdered peanut butter is great!

You're not supposed to roll spam musubi either. You get one of these things and press the rice into a spam-slice-shaped block. Unlike sushi rolling, it's pretty foolproof.

I once had a vegan "tortilla" soup. It does not translate well.

This is it. I don't know how it has so many good reviews, it was absolutely disgusting. Probably because I'm not a vegan:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr-McDougalls-Right-Foods-Tortilla/dp/B000FFRTVI

red wine, honestly just use any store brand wine it will be fine. i fried it until all the red came out of the meat, then cook with liquid for 15-20min.

also if you have this where you live, add it as a spice

looks like some butter noodles, corn, and some sort of meat. the middle and top right piece of meat looks like smoked sausage, bottom left almost looks like thick bacon. not reall sure, though, but anything that sounds edible should do

If you're ever in a pinch, the Aldi version is only slightly sweeter, in a way that I prefer to the 'real thing.'

Also, you should totally try the Huy Fong garlic sauce version. While I'm at it, considering dropping a spoonful of this into your bowl of soup. It is not sweet at all.

if watery gloop is your thing, then get a ricer.

In my experience and to my disappointment, everything turns out like that

I've got some of those, but I prefer this, what I used today - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sapphire-20-4-Cup-Egg-Poacher/dp/B002A0AH3I/ref=sr_1_2?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1431981451&sr=1-2&keywords=poaching+pan The poaching bags tend to rip the eggs open when you get them out.

If you think burnt popcorn is bad microwaveable pork rinds are infinitely worse.

My wife has threatened me with death if I ever burn them again.

I had a similar thought too. I put a gob of peanut butter in a shaker cup and it didn't really work. What does work, however, is powdered peanut butter!

Nobody I know believes me, but banana and ketchup actually make a pretty good combination. In fact, you can even buy bottles of banana ketchup.

I've never had luck with the plastic bag method either. This would be $9 well spent.

This is just one of many options. They are also handy for doing wings on the grill/smoker

The rice soaking is generally called for in a lot of sushi rice recipes, they claim it kind of jump starts the water absorption, but i don't really have any science to back that up.

Sushi rice is really sticky, a few grains of rice helps the seaweed edges stick to each other.

Musubi press!