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I'd have to agree with you on the Slight Edge, it really actually kickstarted my desire to read more books
- Think and Grow Rich
- Psycho Cybernetics - I stumbled across someone talking about it on r/getdisciplined and I really fell in love with the message of changing the way you view yourself in order to create real changes in your life, I'd highly recommend it
- The 7 Habits of Highly successful people - Full of fantastic information, I haven't finished it all the way but I really resonate with it
- Man's Search for meaning - Really got me thinking about what it means to find meaning in this world
- How to win friends and Influence People - Showed me that I was being way too self-absorbed and definitely helped my interpersonal relationships
The Five Elements of Effective Thinking
A concise explanation of various strategies to think better and be more creative. Written by two math teachers, I think, which makes it much, much better than some consultant-y, "I made money selling books, so you can too."
Thank you!
For anyone reading:
• Better video source that even has the professor/lecturers name in the description: https://youtu.be/mhFQA998WiA
• I've watched this, it's great! Definitely supports the "5 Minute Rule" which means you perform a task for 5 minutes and stop, to remove any anxiety and dread you built up for the task
• PS: They wrote a book related to this lecture, which I own and is a quick/easy read: Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change
These books helped me:
Welcome to the sub!
I'd say it depends on what kind of betterment you're interested in. The books we've read cover a wide range of topics:
- Philosophy (A Guide to the Good Life, Nicomachean Ethics, or others)
- Self-esteem (The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem)
- Psychology (Thinking, Fast and Slow or The Charisma Myth)
- Social skills (How to Win Friends and Influence People)
- Discipline (No Excuses!)
- Meditation (Natural Meditation, The Attention Revolution)
- Mastering a skill (Deep Work, Mastery, or Outliers)
Pick a topic that interests you, and then check out the discussion posts for books on that topic. Our discussions of some books were much more active than others, especially toward the end of the books.
Hope this helps!
I had actually hoped that the book Zero to One would be the one choosen this month. In fact, I hadn't even read the synopsis for Tools of Titans and despite the title, I read the available ebook sample. I'm not sure why but I spur of the moment ordered the book on Amazon. The next day, as I finished reading the sample, I felt that the style was not to my liking(I have only read self development books that are more like stories than notes). However, after getting the book last night, I already have dozens of pages sticky noted and have been having a hard time putting it down.
If you are on the fence or even not interested in this book, I recommend giving it a try. I think you will be suprised. There really is something for everyone and I imagine I will be picking this book up often in the future to leaf through it and take even more away from it.
I've been meaning to ask this question, and I'm glad you did. I'm particularly interested how people rate books in retrospect and whether they actually caused a shift in behavior.
On that note, I 100% cosign The Slight Edge. Other big ones for me were:
The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. You have to take care of your mental health first if you want to be successful and happy in life.
So Good They Can't Ignore You and/or Deep Work by Cal Newport. "Follow your passion" is awful advice. I wasted a good 8 years of my life following an improbable dream.
It's a bit more recent, but The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck really changed the way I think about stress and suffering. It was a powerful realization that I'm going to be stressed no matter what, but I get to choose the way I suffer. It's given me a lot more courage.
Book is build around self contained stories my suggestion is to read as such
I suggest the following order:
- Beginning till The Richest Man in Babylon including
This is great introduction to what a book is all about
- Seven Cures of lean purse
How to fix your financial problems
- Meet a goddess of Luck
Discusses role of luck in success
- Five Laws of Gold
Laws of investing
- Gold Lender of Babylon
Generosity to others and family pressure on our own finances
- Walls of Babylon and Camel Trader
On subject of hard work and self sacrifice for success
- Clay Tablets till the end of book.
Ending and writers opinions
They are different lengths section but that way they will put together similar topics so we can discuss one thing at a time.
Edit: Depending on formatting book only 70 pages long in free e-book I linked in previous thread so it is really one afternoon read kind of book I feel we should be able to keep up quite easily with the pace.
My favourite three:
The Willpower Instinct
The Power of Habit
The Slight Edge
Wasn't a huge fan of 'Getting Things Done' since for me at least it's a little unwieldy. The concept of 'if it takes less than 5 minutes just do it now' was pretty good though.
Ultimately it sounds weird, but I found that the best way by far to improve my work ethic was just diet and exercise. If you feel great you have far more energy to pour into stuff.
The Boglehead’s Guide to Investing is indeed the next place to head. If you are pressed for time, The New Coffeehouse Investor is basically the same premise, but spends less time on the how and the why of it.
If you are having difficulty reducing expenses or understanding why you should really bother to save, Your Money or Your Life does an excellent job of giving you a good framework for understanding how money choices have a direct impact on your life and moving your spending to be in line with your priorities and values.
I though about it for a while and here is my list in no particular order.
Your Money or Your Life - it change my relationship with money and made me value my time much more.
No More Mr Nice Guy - That was already mentioned it's great book with a horrible titled. It breaks some ideas we have about relationships with other people teaches respect to self, boundaries, it teaches to respect others so show kindness for kindness sake rather than in covert contract to gain something back. Idea of covert contracts we set with other people is huge game changer for relationship not only with woman but with many people in general.
How to Win Friends and Influence People - just finished it for a 2nd time. Great book teaches humility and brings idea that being right isn't the way to change people's mind.
The Art of Learning - book about mastering skills, changing yourself and accepting failure as a part of a jurney. Also breaks idea of talent being main factor of success
War of Art - although concept of rising procrastination to a state of intelligent being is a bit much, it does make you qestion yourself more at times when you are ready to give up on a task.
I found these few chapters to be illuminating. A lot of what's written about low self-esteem resonates with me. I will definitely be going back to reread and reflect more.
In a semi-related note, there is one particular passage which reminded me of a passage from Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." > "Even though my clients have regretted parting with something, they never complain. They have already learned through experience that any problem caused by lack of something can be solved through action. (p186)"
That section parallels the part on self-efficacy.
> Self-efficacy is not the conviction that we can never make an error. It is the conviction that we are able to think, to judge, to know-and to correct our errors.
If a person had low self-esteem, the initial reaction would be regret, self-loathing. However, by decluttering, the reaction is to leap towards action to solve a problem. I think her claim links tidying up to raising self-esteem, at least a little bit.
Nope - never heard of Tyler Cowen until now ;). But since you are mentioning him I'll take a look.
For SQL - it's actually pretty simple:
Go through whole tutorial on: https://www.w3schools.com/sql/default.asp You have examples that you can try while reading guide... definitely do them. You can probably complete whole tutorial in 3-4 days with nice pacing... but take up to week.
https://www.udacity.com/course/intro-to-relational-databases--ud197 This is full blown course on par with like full collage classes. I haven't went through whole course but looking at first few videos - it's pretty good - OK instructor, concrete examples, nice pacing (they don't go from zero to SQL hero... which is often problem with teaching programming ;).
Let me know how you like those and if they helped!
This book is a great starting point for anyone new to learning about personal finance. But for those who already have good money habits (being able to control their spending and save), I would say skip this book. Move on to another resource that goes into more detail about a specific topic.
At the moment I am all about personal finance. I was excited when I heard that this book was selected. I’m trying to learn as much as I can about money and personal finance. I have read Rich Dad Poor Dad and The Alchemist. Enjoyed reading them both. In the reviews for The Richest Man in Babylon, it sounded like this story-type book would be similar to those books. Easy to read story filled with bits of wisdom. If this is the first time you are exposed to these ideas, then it’ll be significant. But if you already know about these ideas, then the book is lackluster.
I stopped reading about halfway for several reasons. (1) I found some of the dialogue a bit strange to read. I wasn’t able to read at my desired pace. Simple books like this are perfect candidates to speed read on because it isn’t full of information. But the wording got in the way. (2) Story-to-knowledge ratio. Parts of the story felt like fluff. A lot of fluff and then a little bit of knowledge. Had a feeling that I wasn’t going to learn anything new. There are valid lessons in the parts that I did read. I know it isn’t within the scope of this book, but I felt that there wasn’t going to be anything specific for modern and advanced applications.
There is some great discussion going on in here which is nice to see. I tried my best to catch up with you but re-reading How To Win Friends and Influence People and then extra workload of work training took longer than expected. I will do my very best to join in with the next book. u/TheZenMasterReturns I am always impressed by your in-depth analysis of the books.
Rich Dad Poor Dad
Think and Grow Rich
Outliers
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The Complete 101 Collection: What Ever Leader Needs to Know
Most of them are classic reads, but they're most memorable to me because it's where I began my journey.
Okay, I'll bite.
"Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" (B Edwards). The base concepts from this book can be applied to almost everything - I use them personally and professionally (IT) every day.
"How to become CEO" (J Fox). Powerful and practical advice that helps you no matter where you are. WACADAD (Words Are Cheap And Deeds Are Dear) is priceless: looking outwards and inwards.
"Richest Man in Babylon" (G Clason). Financial foundations.
"How to fail at almost everything and still win Big" (S Adams). Glues together a bunch of key concepts - Rest, Exercise (see "Peak"), Food, Luck (where opportunity meets preparation), systems vs goals, energy (passion is bullshit - gold!), mining failure ("the obstacle is the way"), etc..
"Boyd" (Coram). Worth it just for the "Be or Do" speech. I also (consciously) use the OODA loop model every day.
There's the idea that because knowledge is everywhere, there's no excuse for not obtaining it, and also that there'll be no need to memorize things if you can just look it up. I don't think that'll be the case for everything, and whatever brain power you're saving from not having log tables in your head, you're using for creative reasoning. Some skills can't be taught simply by reading lots of text, and some people can't learn just by reading lots of text. Plus, if you consider the time it would take with and without a teacher, it wouldn't make sense to not try and get one. If you can't obviously, you take what you get, but I'm sure there are mentors out there who want disciples.
I've heard the stat about MOOCs, but one I would recommend is Learning how to Learn. It basically shows in very simple terms how the human mind works and how to best store knowledge and increase the use of cognitive skills. Plus it's not too long.
Agreed with most of what others have said, but I'd say that summaries have an important place in the book selection process. One tip I remember from 10 Days to Faster Reading is to ask yourself "why should I read this?" and "what will I use this information for?", then flip through the book or skim its table of contents to determine if it will be useful to you.
I tend to let articles, newsletters, and books pile up in my browser tabs, email inbox, and bookshelf, but since I started asking myself these questions (and "when will I actually read this?"), I've slowly been cutting down the clutter in all three areas.
My current process for books is to scan the Amazon description, the most helpful positive and negative Amazon reviews, and the table of contents (if available), but watching a short video summary could serve the same purpose.
Really depends...
Unscripted would be near the top as more of a philosophy book on WHY entrepreneurship - not particularly helpful in getting your startup off the ground.
If it's a tech-related startup, maybe Zero to One or The Hard Thing about Hard Things. But those are kind of big picture, so what would be most helpful depends on specific things you need to improve on.
If it's sales - the book "Pitch Anything", etc etc
Best of luck.
- Freedom from the Known - Jiddu Krishnamurti
- Waking Up - Sam Harris
- How to Read a Book - Mortimer Adler
- Tao te Ching - Lao-tzu (Red Pine transl.)
- Mastery - Robert Greene
- The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
- Zen Letters - Yuanwu Keqin
> Some have criticized the book for departing from historical stoicism but I don't think it detracts much from the reading.
Yes, I just invited /r/Stoicism to join us in our discussion, and I saw that their FAQs link to this review of A Guide to the Good Life, which recommends it to "people who are new to the subject and interested in learning about Stoicism, but who lack a background in academic philosophy," but which also emphasizes how Irvine's "Stoicism-lite" differs from ancient Stoicism.
I'm not interested in prolonged debate over philosophical definitions, but I'm glad for the bit of context that review gave me.
I'm in and looking forward to the discussion. I was planning to audit The Subtle Art at the gym, but I will read it on Kindle to join the discussion.
A couple of asides:
I audited Mark Manson's Models a couple of years ago and enjoyed it even though I am older and happily married. I highly recommend it to any single men here, especially if high school-college aged. It would have been impactful and useful if I was able to read it at that point in my life.
Also, a couple of years ago I read the selection that didn't make the cut, Deep Work by Cal Newport. While I thought So Good They Can't Ignore You was a great book, Deep Work was far less useful. DW basically advocates chunks of uninterrupted time to do your highest ROI work. This sounds useful for academics like Cal Newport, possibly useful for software engineers, and likely only marginally useful for everyone else who does their work in real-time and with teams. The book doesn't have much more to it than that, it's an article's worth of material. This was disappointing after SGTCIY which along with Scott Adam's How to Fail at Almost Anything and Still Win Big were the best self-help books released in 2012/2013.
Finally, I made a new account for the discussion to avoid attaching to much detail to other accounts in case of doxing. Sadly, earning a living remains a high priority for me. Edit: hope this is ok!
Have you head of Earl Nightingale? He was a radio host based out of Chicago in the 1950-80s who wrote and recorded some brilliant programs. His most famous message is probably The Strangest Secret, but he also credited Think and Grow Rich for a lot of his success and recorded a condensed version of the book.
If you like those, check out his Lead the Field series as well. I love Earl Nightingale and his success philosophies, his lessons have helped me tremendously. Enjoy!
As far as books in this genre go, Mastery was fantastic, as was The Art of Learning. And not just because they were 9n the reading list, I loved both of them. I also remember greatly enjoying The Power of Habit. I also really like Iron John, because it's a reminder that feeling down and being disrespected is an important step in the journey to becoming a mature human being.
Otherwise, good literature is better than bad self help so branching out is important. I recently finished Dune and it was one of the best books I've ever read. Dr. Strange and Mr. Norrell was an excellent novel.
I'm sure I could go on if I really needed to list more but those are the ones that jump out at me.
Recently finished:
- The Talent Code. (and the accompanying Little Book of Talent)
- Mindset, the new psychology of success.
- So Good They Can't Ignore You.
- Drive, the surprising truth of what motivates us.
Started in:
- Springboard, launching your personal search for success.
To read:
- Willpower, rediscovering the greatest human strength.
- Thinking, Fast and Slow. (but that one's been featured on the subreddit already)
- What Every Body Is Saying.
Been a while since I read it and a special mention to:
- Quiet, the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking.
Not certain if they are all a fit for what this sub is looking for, but it's a list!
I'm liking this book so far. It is a nice read where they make step by step connections to understand their point. I also feel like I'm being yelled at by a salesman, or a motivational speaker which makes sense. This is only the second self discipline book I have read (The Power of Habit was the first) and I liked TPoH a lot and I'm liking this book so far too. If I find time, maybe I'll reread the chapters.
>What are my answers to the questions posed in the book?
So many questions, so little time to type out all the answers (because there are other things that I have to make the choice to do because they have a greater importance, though I hope at some point I can write out the answers in full to all the questions n this book)
>Is there another way of exemplifying what the book is saying?
In a TL;DR form. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility. Learn to say no too yourself. Those are the things I've focused in on to apply them to my life. Though there are so many other points I wish I could hit.
>Do I have any anecdotes/theories/doubts to share about it?
I started off on the fence a bit just because of how strong and completely idealistic it sounded. But I am beginning to enjoy even this part too and find its postive impact.
>Will I change anything now that I have read this?
I am really going to focus on saying no when I want to procrastinate. I also really will focus on taking responsibilty, as I am one who often blames anyone and anything.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. It does a wonderful job of explaining the subconscious patterns and behaviors, but more importantly, it offers a concrete set of methods and techniques to confrontation and change those ingrained behaviors.
Hey! I only have one book to recommend on this topic. If you’d come to understand Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow (I had to read it three times) it could potentially have a big impact on your perception and navigation through life. Think of it as How To Win Friends and Influence People and other social-psychology books, just more theorized and in depth.
I was wondering about "So Good They Can't Ignore You". Really love your summary and tie into what Scott Adams is advising. I definitely see lots of holes with this intro chapters and you just gave me few more with what you are saying and links.
I voted for A Guide to the Good Life. If it wins maybe some people from /r/Stoicism might join in the discussion. It's a bit long but there should be a lot to discuss.
Finite and Infinite Games might be interesting. I have tried to watch James Carse lecture on YouTube and didn't find him compelling.
Deep Work is a good book but less to unpack and discuss than the above.
Antifragile is meandering and doesn't lend itself to self-improvement discussion, in my opinion. It's popular online, though.
Zen Habits...might be too simplistic, but would be a quick/easy read.
Your first point I tend to agree with. I'm not sure if I have ever had an overwhelming desire to one task in particular like most people refer to when they talk about a "Life's Task".
/u/airandfingers pointed out the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" that claims that most people arent born with this. They should just focus on improving themselves and gaining skills in the situation they are in, and the rest will come as they go along. I havent read the book yet but I did read this summary and it is the next one of my list to read. I think I need to spend some time in thought and reflection and see if I can locate anything that I may be overlooking that could actually be my Life's Task. Maybe it is so close that I can't even see it. For now I'm going to keep focusing on improving myself and spend some time searching within and see where it takes me.
I used to have a massive procrastination problem. It's not gone, but it is much improved.
In no particular order, these books helped the most:
- The Willpower Instinct
- The Now Habit
- The Power of Habit
I like this book as a short, inspirational read. Coelho uses a short and sweet story to convey the advice that we should follow our dreams, expecting certain advantages (beginner's luck, omens) and obstacles (denial, fear of obstacles, love, fear of realizing our dream) and acting accordingly.
This advice, like much of what we've read in previous books, isn't obscure, and some of it even seems obvious. Nonetheless, it has value, and I find myself reconsidering and making some changes to my behavior to better direct myself toward my goals, and crediting this (still tentative) progress to The Alchemist reminding me to consider what's truly important to me.
That said, some of The Alchemist's claims about Personal Legends are so specific and universal that they can't possibly be true. Not everyone knows what their Legend is when they're a child, and not everyone pursuing their Legend is blessed with beginner's luck. If someone were to take these generalizations too seriously, he or she might overlook or rule out certain life paths.
The idea that we each have a single Legend to pursue can also be misleading, encouraging people to search and search for their one true Legend, when sometimes the way to discover your purpose is to buckle down and start doing something, and see where that takes you.
So overall, I agree with /u/GreatLich: The Alchemist is an "enjoyable little adventure book" with inspirational value (probably great for kids), but very little usable advice. For books like this, it's up to us to find the book's practical value by discussing it, while books like <em>The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem</em> and <em>So Good They Can't Ignore You</em> address the issue of what to do with our lives much more directly.
Models by Mark Manson. It's touted as a pickup book but in reality it's about personal development hint, the title refers to role models not super models. The basic principle is that for women be attracted to you, you have to be a fully developed person. I'm 3/4 through it and it is the single best book I have ever read, by far.
For people who like this version and prefer following along via audio book, LibriVox has it free to download. :)
I know I'm going to read it while also listening as I've difficulty focusing. xD
I felt this way a bit with Carol Dweck's mindset book, she talks about people with fixed mindsets and growth mindsets, and the differences between them. There was really no "how to have this mindset" part in the book so I have been looking at outside resources and trying to come up with ideas of my own to have more of this outlook.
Here is an interesting podcast with him and Tim Ferriss https://www.producthunt.com/podcasts/the-tim-ferriss-show-a-chess-prodigy-on-mastering-martial-arts-chess-and-life
Jordan Peterson puts a lot of emphasis on taking as much responsibility as you can.
I'd like to nominate Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I think it'd be a good fit for this subreddit.
Here's the blurb on Amazon:
>Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's famous investigations of "optimal experience" have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow. During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life. In this new edition of his groundbreaking classic work, Csikszentmihalyi demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not just left to chance. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience teaches how, by ordering the information that enters our consciousness, we can discover true happiness and greatly improve the quality of our lives.
The original Emotional Intelligence is probably the best place to start. Amazon link
I read it few years ago and disliked it a lot. I have found it not applicable to 99% of people. It's full of fluff like "think big to achieve big goals" "have big dreams to achieve big success etc" almost 0 practical advice.
If you want good book on achieving good life I would suggest "So Good They Can't Ignore You" by the same guy who have writen Deep Work. You will get much more out of it than Think and Grow Rich can offer. Funny enough So Good They Can't Ignore You suggest doing almost 100% opposite to what Think and grow Rich suggests.
I agree with all of your points.
I must say, your final discussion summaries have been spot on. Your thoughts and takeaways from book are almost identical to mine. For this book and last one (A Guide to the Good Life).
I agree with the other commenters' praise of The Richest Man in Babylon; here I'll only mention my criticisms of it.
> Money is the medium by which earthly success is measured.
> Money makes possible the enjoyment of the best the earth affords.
These are the only parts of this section that I'd partially contest. I get the point that money is necessary to attain comfort and happiness, and that it's an objective way to compare people's levels of success. However, I think it's important to mention money's limits.
Measuring "earthly success" purely via money means largely ignoring all other possible goals that people may set: art, science, politics, personal relationships, health, competition... Making money is an important goal, but it shouldn't be your only goal, and probably not even your main goal. Money is a means to many ends, but it's still not an end in itself.
As for money buying "the best the earth affords", beyond a certain point (around 65k - 122k in the US, depending on your state), more money no longer correlates with increased happiness. Once you reach that point, improving your life is mostly independent of increasing your income.
I'm not saying that Clason should have qualified his "Babylonian Wisdom"—this is a book about money management, not philosophy. I'm just stating the obvious, lest we as readers somehow forget it: success and happiness depend on factors other than money.
- The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
- Maximum Achievement: Strategies and Skills That Will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed - Brian Tracy
- Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment - George Leonard
Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius
>Think of your many years of procrastination; how the gods have repeatedly granted you further periods of grace, of which you have taken no advantage. It is time now to realize the nature of the universe to which you belong, and of that controlling power whose offspring you are; and to understand that your time has a limit set to it. Use it, then, to advance your enlightenment; or it will be gone, and never in your power again. - The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
General:
- How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big
Work:
- So Good They Can't Ignore You
- Deep Work
Productivity:
- Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
- Getting Things Done
Psychology/Classic "self-help"
- A New Guide to Rational Living
- A Guide to the Good Life (this month's book, join in)
Romantic Relationships (if you are a male):
- Models
Personal finance/investing:
- The Simple Path to Wealth
- Boglehead's Wiki
I may have to give this book a try. I felt like their book, Switch, on audiobook was overly simplistic and the slowly building framework they gave wasn't that helpful compared to The Power of Habit.
Maybe I'm being a stickler, but it felt like they threw a bunch of simple examples together, showed how to apply their simple framework to those examples, cross-referenced a few other psych/business books, and called it a day. Or maybe their writing is just not to my stylistic liking, which is fine.
I just read this book last month, and it (like one of Newport's other books, So Good They Can't Ignore You) struck me as providing a very reasonable structure for knowledge work.
Since then, I've had trouble applying some of his suggestions (like Roosevelt dashes or productive meditation) to my work as a web developer, so I'd be interested to see what other software engineers like u/questToFI and u/howtoaddict have to say about this, if they participate this month.
I just finished the Art of Learning after hearing Josh on the Tim Ferriss Show and reading about him in Tools of Titans. I'm still not sure what to think of the book. It was though provoking, and I got some insights out of it. It got me to playing Chess a little bit more. But it also felt like it was mostly a book about his life and less about, well, the Art of Learning.
Maybe I have to let the book sink in a little bit more and go over my notes and highlights, but after hearing his interviews I was expecting a little bit more maybe.
Just a couple of my favorites:
- The importance of living - Lin Yutang
- Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment - George Leonard
- Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki
- Man's search for meaning - Victor Frankl
- Notes from the Underground - Dostoyevsky
- Small is beautiful - E. F. Schumacher
- Essays - Michel de Montaigne
- Tao of Jeet Kune do - Bruce Lee
Not all are strictly self help, but off the top of my head(I'm missing a load) :
Instant Confidence - Paul McKenna
Think and Grow Rich
Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
Rework - DHH
No more Me Nice Guy
Models - Mark Manson
The Game
Gorilla Mindset
How to get Rich
How to win friends and influence people
Combined with various history books
Could we also have voting for April as well? It seems like based on the comments from this post, a lot of people would like some extra time to secure the book.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BettermentBookClub/comments/5wbror/voting_for_march/
Edit: I also voted for A Guide to the Good Life!
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Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success by Adam Grant. About giving more than taking and how it it can help you succeed in your professional career.
Other suggestions, although I've already read them myself: Both "Deep Work" and "So Good They Can't Ignore You" by Cal Newport. Both very interesting in how to develop a good sense of what is important in your work and how you can improve those skills.
Thanks for sharing these, just listened to The Strangest Secret and it very closely parallels Think and Grow Rich. It's a really excellent recording and Nightingale provides a practical way to work towards success.
I got the book a few days late, so I've been catching up on the reading. When this discussion is up, I should be caught up to this point.
Edit: Added what I have learned from this chapter.
Delegating tasks to others. It makes sense if you are in the managing position to do so. In Think and Grow Rich, there is a story about Henry Ford in court where he says that he doesn’t have to know everything and he has a row of buttons to call in various experts to answer any questions that he has. We don’t have to know everything or do everything on our own as long as we have others that can help us.
Plan for the week. Don’t like how he talks trash about to-do lists and planners to make his method sound superior, they’re useful if you put down tasks and info that you need to remember. I like to write things down so I don’t forget it. Einstein said something like, your brain is meant for higher thinking and shouldn’t be used to remember small things, and “Never memorize something you can look up.”
Also, the Four Quadrants applies to managing time as well as managing money.
Just as /u/GreatLich has said reading the book is going to outpace anyone's ability to develop their practice. The kind of dedication required is quite intense. I'd also like to eventually reach Stage 5, but I also read some parts of Waking Up by Sam Harris and he basically talks about the Dzogchen insight straight away and says that it's achievable quite quickly. So there's that.
>none of the books I've read on the subject sofar have been able to explain how and why some people are able to go to such lengths and summon the energies and dedication needed to succeed as Masters. I can't therefore blame Green for not trying
Like you mentioned later he doesnt exactly spell it out for you, some sections are intentionally vague in what I assume is an effort to make the text apply to a larger audience. But I feel like he did touch on what gives masters the energies and dedication to make it to that supreme level.
From what I understood he says that Masters develop an almost religous attachment to their subject. They are able to push past points of exaustion and continue with persistence when an average person would give up or change course. Music was more than music for Mozart, Physics was more than just a science subject for Einstein, etc. I think this topic is mirrored in a lot of other books as well (for example "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill talks about an extreme need for desire for whatever you achieve).
So I see your point about the problem with a Life Task, and I'm curious to read So Good They Can't Ignore You soon based on reviews by yourself and others and for this reason in particular; to hear someone argue about ditching the idea of a singular goal in life. But I see Greene's point also, no one will reach Mastery in whatever they choose unless they feel this desire or passion for what they are trying to master. I don't think it's possible to put in the necessary work to reach these levels without an unworldly dedication and calling for what you are doing. Discipline and determination will only take you so far for so long in doing something you arent 100% in for.
> I was wondering about that phrase. My version does use 'destiny' and 'fate' but has no mention of "personal legend". How the meaning changes with the choice of a few words!
Ah, I see how confusing that'd be! Strange, both the version I read before and the older one I now have from the library use "Personal Legend".. yours must be an alternate translation.
> It isn't very helpful, throwing somone's confusion back in their faces almost. But it's to be expected, as most of the "success literature" skips over this part of the equation.
Agreed. I like how Newport's <em>So Good They Can't Ignore You</em> contradicts the popular notion of "finding your passion", instead focusing on the process of gaining knowledge, skills, and connections ("career capital") through experience, and figuring out your passion as you go.
So no one huh? I've honestly been truly terrible about actually sitting down to meditate. I've only done it a handful of times and even then I felt distracted. I'm reading another book on the subject called Waking Up by Sam Harris that has really revitalized my desire to work harder at meditating. I have been much more mindful in my daily life and often catch my mind drifting into thought and pull it back to the present moment. So I guess that is progress.
Fuck it I'm going to use my lunch break today to sit down and meditate for 20minutes. Get back on track.
I just finished reading "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big" by Scott Adams. Gotta be up there in my all time favorite self improvement books. He talks about how you should set up a system to reach your goals, and encouraged healthy skepticism to his advice. I really loved the latter since I get really tired of self improvement things saying "this is the solution" meanwhile Adams is more like "this worked for me, but it might not work for you but you should take it into consideration anyways."
Ah, I'd heard of that alternate title. It looks like "Design" is the updated title, so I've updated my comment accordingly; I'll try to remember this for future reference. DOET, not POET.
> Could I also ask for some clarity on what you mean by human error? I took a glance at The Design of Everyday Things(assuming that's the book you meant) and it seems errors occur because tools and instruments don't have intuitive design rather than a human intentionally misusing them. In Computer Science the study of User Experience(UX) is taken more seriously than before for that exact reason.
That's what I meant. It's been a while since I've read DOET, and I'm rereading The Human Factor now, so I'll elaborate in the language Kim Vicente uses: technologies that are incompatible with human nature make it easy for users to make mistakes, so writing off mistakes (especially common ones) as "human/user error" is insufficient.
I'm fascinated with UX and Usability Testing, which is why I've read these books and others (I'm a web developer by trade). I've observed that users (especially less tech-savvy users) often blame themselves for making mistakes, and I consider it my duty to point out the ways the system has failed them, shifting blame to whoever designed the system, especially if that's me.
At the higher levels of Vicente's "ladder", we can apply similar logic to "softer" technologies. For example, anyone who blames a surgeon for making mistakes at the end of a 40-hour shift (including the surgeon herself) fails to account for a serious design flaw in the organization's scheduling system.
Let me know if that doesn't clarify things for you. I can talk about this stuff for days, and I'm only getting more passionate about it as I read/learn more.
Sorry, but did you mean The Design of Everyday Things by Donald A. Norman? I couldn't find The Psychology of Everyday Things, but I wanted to clarify if they are different books.
Could I also ask for some clarity on what you mean by human error? I took a glance at The Design of Everyday Things(assuming that's the book you meant) and it seems errors occur because tools and instruments don't have intuitive design rather than a human intentionally misusing them. In Computer Science the study of User Experience(UX) is taken more seriously than before for that exact reason.
I'd like to read Nicomachean Ethics. Furthermore, I just started Optimal Human Being by Ken Sheldon. Optimal Human Being tries to approach principles of psychology and social psychology to understand what it means to function optimally as a human.
I've popped in here via your thread in /r/books; I'd just like to say that you won't be able to apply "The Problems of Philosophy" to your life, really. You'll also have trouble properly getting through it in two weeks with no prior knowledge of philosophy. The book is very heavy in metaphysics, and as interesting as it might be to discuss metaphysics they don't really have any principles through which you can "better your life", as seems to be your goal. Subscribing to idealism or realism won't really change your life all that much. The most you'd be able to do is accept determinism and have an existential crisis.
Might I suggest a book on ethics? They actually have principles on living your life. You could start with one of the big three; Kant's Groundwork on the Metaphysics of Morals, Mill's Utilitarianism, or Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics.
I would second
- The War of Art (which I just bought, coincidentally. Also, since we're only giving it two weeks and this is a short book, I'd pick this above the rest)
- Meditations
- No excuses!
- Mastery
My pleasure. I haven't read "The Obstacle is the Way", but I've read my share of case studies in "The Power of Full Engagement" and "So Good They Can't Ignore You".
Why do authors often use these kinds of stories to explain their ideas? I'd bet on stories' narrative structure, memorability, and entertainment value. The stories I've read aren't set up to surprise the reader in the way Kahneman describes, so they're not taking full advantage of what makes individual cases apparently more persuasive than general ones.
> I went to a special (non-US, non-public) school which focused a lot on the students learning how to learn.
Would you mind sharing the name of the school or the educational approach it used? I'd like to prepare for when I eventually select my future children's school, and the only private school type I currently know of is Montessori.
My Christian K-8 and California public high school education was devoid of any education about how to learn, and I've been meaning to make up for this by enrolling in this Coursera course.
I hope that didn't make you feel bad. You're already a man, but I applaud you in taking control in becoming a better. That's what good men do.
Check out To Be a Man: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Man-Guide-Masculine-Power/dp/1622032292
Any books by ex- SEALS, or SAS are good. I found a good one recently. Soldier : Respect is Earned a fantastic read, with actionable advice
The war of art is a play on names with the art of war. It is a very inspiring and motivating book in my opinion. It helped me sit down and work for sure.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a great book on stoic philosophy. It was written as a diary, never intended to be published so it gives us insight into the life of the last great Roman emperor. I would recommend the Gregory Hays translation since it's the easiest to read (I tried 3 others).
>> How does O'Connor's description of habits compare to other such descriptions, in other books you've read or elsewhere?
> -I thought it was pretty similar.
Interesting, which books did you find Rewire similar to? The only habit-centric book I read was The Power of Habit, and that has a focus on building good habits, so I'm not seeing many similarities yet.
Nice notes! I like that you're summarizing O'Connor's points in your own words.. this makes your notes easier to read than direct quotes, and it should help you retain the ideas.
- The Republic - Plato
- Apology - Plato
- Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
- The Prince - Niccolo Machiavelli
- 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
- How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dane Carnegie
- Crito - Plato
- Rhetoric / Art of Rhetoric - Aristotle
- Tao Te Ching - Lao Tzu / Lau Zi
- Enchirdion - Epictetus
- Iliad - Homer
- Nicomachean Ethics - Aristotle
Tangentially related to the philosophy of humanism, I recommend the book Doing Good Better. It's a pragmatic guide to how to use your career, time, and/or money to help improve the world. It literally changed my life.
I put in an order of books for this young man I ended up with
Way of the Warrior Kid Mindset The Daily Stoic Abraham Lincoln: Wisdom and Wit Mind Gym Tuesdays With Morrie Moleskine Notebook to take notes
All of these books have had an impact on me in my own journey so I plan to write a note in each one along with a flashdrive containing a video of me explaining each one. Finally, I will provide this short PDF ebook I wrote while coaching each day infusing thoughts and ideas from the season.
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big doesn't get enough credit. There's so much wisdom in here about happiness, health, motivation, skills and many other topics. Easily one of my favourite books of all time. Plus, Scott Adams is a total badass. He has a background in hypnotism and also was the first person in the world to be cured of spasmodic dysphonia.
> The objective is clear: ‘give full attention to my goals to live a fulfilling life’. Now the question remains: ‘what will I focus on?’. It seems like there's so much I want to work on: keep on writing, do photography, learn webdesign,... I dunno, just some thoughts. A lot of stuff to pick up and to work with.
Have you read Newport's previous book, So Good They Can't Ignore You? It's higher-level than Deep Work - strategies for how to find what area(s) you should work in, while Deep Work is more like tactics for how you should work.
> “When you lose concentration, you tend to focus on the negative things in life.” (I’m paraphrasing / translating freely, got a non-English version).
What language are you reading in? It never occurred to me that some of our subs would read books in one language and then discuss it in English.
I am ending the vote in 36 hours or so. As we can see, Tools of Titans is in the lead so we are probably reading that. I will post a schedule at that point, and reading will probably begin on the 12th.
Wow... I really understand what he is saying after the explanation comapring it to a romantic endeavor. It would seem foolish to sit back and not try anything because you were "looking for your one true love" which you very well may never find if you never put yourself out there.
I think these ideas can interconnect in a way though, Greene's point is mastery and truly I don't think one will ever become a "Master" unless they have a singular, religous like focus to their subject or task. It would clearly be better to live as Newport says and expand your skills, and if the day comes where you have found a lone focus in life, congratulations you have completed step one of Mastery, so go onto section two.
Not to say that Greene's book doesnt contain other helpful or practical advice, but again the whole point of it is to "become a master of your field" ..... I would argue that can't be done without a "Life's Task".... wether that pertains to your current situation in life or not.
Thoughts on that last statement?
I'm excited to read So Good They Can't Ignore You I'm actually going to order it right now.
> What sections did you like the most? What sections did you like the least?
I really liked the talk with the dessert / wind / sun. I can't really explain why - It just kinda .. made me realize some bit of mindfullnes that I've had on the edge of thought for some time.
> Would you recommend this book to a friend? Maybe there is a public figure or celebrity you would recommend this book to?
It's in my list of books to get for my mom this christmas. She's retired but having a bit of a late mid-life crisis lately. I think it will help her get through it, as I think she feels useless without us kids to take care of, and without a job to take her time. There's a lot of wisdom in finding yourself here.
> How does this book rank on your list of all time favorites? Will it stay on your bookshelf and become a tool in your everyday life?
It wasn't as weird as I though it would be. I liked it. It's going in my 'read it again in a few years' list, where I can reflect on if it has changed anything for me.
> What is your one big take-away from the book as a whole?
I need to trust myself more, and stop shying away from things just because I'm afraid of success - it's sorta the crystal merchant problem.
It did feel a bit like a better worded form of 'The Secret' though to me, when taken that it's not some 'mystical power' that makes thinks happen. (With the secret being a rewrite of the thoughts in 'Think and Grow Rich'). It's the same message, in different forms. It can be distilled down to if you trust / believe in yourself, you can make it happen out of sheer will, and the things around you will seem to help because.. you make them help.
> What spiritual insights did you take away? How has this book improved your life, or did it improve your life at all?
We'll find out later on that, haha. I do feel a bit more mindful after reading it, though it might not be the book that did it.
Great list. I'm going to add these to my own list and I'll also add them to the suggested books list thread that I pick voters from.
I've read 'Your Money or Your Life' and it was an eye opening book for me financially. I didn't go as far as to put every step of the process in place in my life as they recommend as a plan, but I'd like to return to it and try. I'd recommend it to anyone great read.
'Way of the Superior Man' is incredible. I usually take notes and highlight things in a book but because of the layout and the quality of the information in that book, I just couldn't or else I would be underlining and high lighting everything. It's no fluff, no BS, straight 100% valuable information about becoming a true man down to your core. I open that book every week and it's one of the five books that I refer to constantly (I call them "My War Chest") I couldn't recommend it enough. I'm going to buy a copy for my brother this year for Christmas and maybe for my three or four closest male friends.
>Agreed. I like how Newport's So Good They Can't Ignore You contradicts the popular notion of "finding your passion", instead focusing on the process of gaining knowledge, skills, and connections ("career capital") through experience, and figuring out your passion as you go.
Wow. I never looked at it that way. I think sometimes I put a lot of pressure on myself (and I'm sure others do as well) to find that one thing or job that really is their calling.
I'm not sure if I've found that one thing that drives me, that one thing that has caused me to develop an almost religous desire to commit to in life with all my heart and effort. But day by day I work on trying to get a little bit better. Small bits of improvement in many aspects of my life to try and create a better version of myself.
I'm going to read this book next I'm curious now.
> So Good They Can't Ignore You
If you thought I was harping on "sound advice, poorly motivated" in the How To Win Friends... threads, don't get me started on this book.
When the author trots out the lady who was doing double Ivy League Ph.D./M.D. degrees at the same time as an example of someone who (paraphrazing) "doesn't exactly know what they want from life" he lost pretty much all credibility.
I think it might be a good idea to view the Nicomachean Ethics as a case study of what Aristotle laid out in the Physics. He's not so much making a normative statement that the highest good should be happiness. Rather, he's revealing a sort of teleology in nature that the highest good (that at which all human actions aim) happens to be happiness.
Additionally, Book I makes clear that, for Aristotle, the good life is not simply pleasure-seeking. Think back to when he distinguishes the hedonistic life from the political life from the contemplative life (sorry, I don't have the book on me or I would give you the Bekker citation). Now, regarding the best way to live: There's a subjective element to that in Aristotle's thought. You'll see it come out more as you work your way through the Ethics.
Gladwell's list of attributes of work we can be passionate about (Autonomy, Complexity, and the link between effort and results) reminded me of the three traits listed by Cal Newport in So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love:
> Traits That Define Great Work
> * Creativity: Ira Glass, for example, is pushing the boundaries of radio, and winning armfuls of awards in the process.
> * Impact: From the Apple II to the iPhone, Steve Jobs has changed the way we live our lives in the digital age.
> * Control: No one tells Al Merrick when to wake up or what to wear. He's not expected in an office from nine to five. Instead, his Channel Island Surfboards factory is located a block from the Santa Barbara beach, where Merrick still regularly spends time surfing. (Jake Burton Carpenter, founder of Burton Snowboards, for example, recalls how negotiations for the merger between the two companies happened while he and Merrick waited for waves in a surf lineup.)
Of these, only Control is obviously analogous to one of Gladwell's listed attributes (Autonomy). To a lesser degree, Creativity is Complexity, and Impact is the link between effort and results.
Note that Newport references Outliers in that very chapter for the 10,000 Hour Rule, so his list could be derived from Gladwell's.
> If Newport derived his list from Outliers, did he adapt it to fit his own views?
I don't see a reference to Gladwell or anyone else for this list, so I'd say it reflects Newport's views more than anyone else's.
> Can impact be seen as results in proportion to effort? That depends on what results you want. Some results benefit you more than they benefit others.
You're right, Newport's "Impact" involves a particular type of result ("Steve Jobs has changed the way we live our lives"). Gladwell's link between effort and results is a broad description, and his examples include taking home extra work for extra pay.
> These are slight differences, but I think I prefer the list you cited.
Agreed. I recommend So Good They Can't Ignore You to anyone interested in applying the 10,000 Hour Rule to their lives.
I like Marcus Aurelius' simple passages on how to deal with people, which must have been the day-to-day task of an emperor:
>Good or ill for the rational being lies not in feeling but in action: just as also his own virtue or vice shows not in what he feels, but in what he does.
Listen to action and not words.
Don't tell. Demonstrate.
>You should leave another's wrong where it lies.
This reminds me of Thinking, Fast and Slow, in that we are more prone to find mistakes in the work of others. Here, Marcus tells himself to not magnify the mistakes of others. On the other hand, he writes in many other passages that he is obligated to teach and correct faults he finds. To either "teach or tolerate" is of course a way to either improve or accept what is.
This has got me wondering about Marcus Aurelius' contemporary mark on Roman society. Given that Meditations was written to himself and that he spent the later years of his life outside of Rome, how well known was his philosophic views? Was he a private philosopher? How was his rule affected by his philosophy?
Would there have been any Meditations, had he not experienced the long hardships of campaign and deaths of family members?
Just a list of the books on the poll
Mastery - by Robert Greene
Meditations - by Marcus Aurelius
No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline - by Brian Tracy
On the Shortness of Life - by Seneca
The Magic of Thinking Big - by David J. Schwartz
The War of Art - by Steven Pressfield
I would like to recommend this one:
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life. I can provide the epub file if it gets chosen
No, you're not missing anything at all. In fact, you would do well to think through your question yourself, without focusing too much on external advice. Here is a short book, written recently, does a great job at showing you why.
I really liked the procrastination puzzle. Really helped me understand why I procrastinate and some tips on how to fix it. Also, there’s the happiness trap that felt like a skill book to understanding how your mind works. Enjoy.
You can open up your life if you know how your mind works. BEING ME BEING FREE explains everything with simple words and pictures. Change your thinking, change your life! Learn more here.
Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done
It tackles the issue of how people abandon ideas and projects because they can't make it "perfect". Some of the thoughts from the book include cutting your goal in half and identifying what priorities in your life you will need to set aside when you start a project.
Strengths Finder is a classic one. Apparently it is called "CliftonStrengths 34" now:
https://store.gallup.com/p/en-us/10003/cliftonstrengths-34
It looks like there is a book for it too. I'm not sure why it is for students only:
https://www.amazon.com/CliftonStrengths-Students-Strengths-Journey-Begins/dp/1595621253/ref=sr_1_1
I wrote a basic guide for beginners. If you want, you can check it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09SZB1CTL
The book is included some tips, techniques and detailed explanation for creating your working system.
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Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done
It tackles the issue of how people abandon ideas and projects because they can't make it "perfect". Some of the thoughts from the book include cutting your goal in half and identifying what priorities in your life you will need to set aside when you start a project.
Actually just published one this summer, The Pitchbook: A Banking Analyst's Tale of Markets, Millions, and Mayhem. You can read a few preview chapters on the Amazon link. It's a financial thriller inspired by my years in finance; so maybe not exactly what you're looking for. I love this this genre, but it has very few titles. Hence, one of the reasons for writing the book in the first place.
"Hollywood promised Robert McClure an investment banking career filled with cocaine, debauchery, and endless excess — but his reality turned out much different.
As the newest analyst at Latham, Schroeder, & Holt, Robert’s days are filled with a never-ending procession of long nights, Excel models, and PowerPoint pitchbooks. Mergers and acquisitions was his dream job in business school, but it soon turned into a soul-crushing grind.
When Robert finds a lost pitchbook from a competitor detailing an unannounced corporate acquisition, the gears in his mind start turning. The pitchbook might just be his way out and the key to the success he’s always dreamed about, or it might be a Pandora’s box of trouble. One thing is for certain — he’s got little to lose and a whole lot to gain — including the sense of self he lost, somewhere along the way."
Just to add on that there are apps out there for spaced repetition flash cards. The one I use is Anki, although I've never been able to make the habit stick. They have an Android app as well. Thanks for the info.