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WebMD
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The most popular Android Apps mentioned in /r/RedPillWomen:
Period Tracker Deluxe
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Period Tracker
The most popular reviews in /r/RedPillWomen:
You may have been doing what makes you come alive, but your passion was hindered by you being ashamed of it. Be proud! You're probably happier than most people are.
A passionate, happy person is intrinsically attractive. People want to be around them. They feel better when they spend time with you, even if they aren't aware of it.
I've tried several waxing options, from home setups to professional salons.
The best solution is laser hair treatment.
- Start with a salon near you. Do about 5-10 session with their high powered units. There seems to always be great deals on Groupon for this.
Continue home treatments with an amazon unit. This one even with poor reviews has been working well for me: Zapper thing
You will reach a nice baseline where you're hairless most of the time, and can go months between treatments. If you're healthy, your body will still try to grow new hair, but it will be very thin and light. Similar to the first hair you grew during puberty.
Context: My hair use to grow thick and relentlessly. Not anymore.
This isn't quite a tip for daily housekeeping as much as it is a strategy for overall tidiness long-term, but I'm reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up on my Kindle right now and I just did the first stage of decluttering my clothes - and it's already made a great difference in how easy it is to stay organized and clean! I haven't finished it yet, but another good part about it is that it emphasizes gratitude for the objects in your daily life and it's helping me practice being more appreciative of everything. :)
I have a copper IUD and I love it.
For PMS, which I have lots of (emotional, physical), taking vitex has been an absolute godsend. I take one in the morning and one at night starting at my ovulation and ending on my first predicted period day. (So 14 capsules in total each month.)
I've been using period tracker deluxe for the last seven or so years and it's very accurate and helps settle me when I get emotional (calm down, you're just pmsing).
here is an ngram for the word feminism,
while the word existed,, it was not in common usage. like every institution in the west, what was originally equity feminism was wholly engulfed by the left and then its terms and history were rewritten. when i was a kid in the 70s no one said feminism they said women's lib
Liz Warren wrote the book on it. It's less about feminism and more about how suburban families are paying for a good education through expensive housing, which requires both parents to work to afford a home in a good school district AND ALSO cover childcare costs because both parents are working.
"Astonishingly, sending mothers to work has made families more vulnerable to financial disaster than ever before. Today's two-income family earns 75% more money than its single-income counterpart of a generation ago, but has 25% less discretionary income to cover living costs. This is "the rare financial book that sidesteps accusations of individual wastefulness to focus on institutional changes," raved the Boston Globe. Warren and Tyagi reveal how the ferocious bidding war for housing and education has silently engulfed America's suburbs, driving up the cost of keeping families in the middle class. The authors show why the usual remedies-child-support enforcement, subsidized daycare, and higher salaries for women-won't solve the problem. But as the Wall Street Journal observed, "The book is brimming with proposed solutions to the nail-biting anxiety that the middle class finds itself in: subsidized day care, school vouchers, new bank regulation, among other measures."
Maybe not totally southern, but search “vintage swing dress” on amazon or ModCloth.
I own this dress in four different colors. Love that the neckline and length are modest without being grandma-ish
You need to know that abusive men kill their partners. If he beats you, even once, there is a very high chance he is going to kill you. If you want to live, you need to leave him. If you have children with him, he will probably kill you when you're pregnant, or he will kill you in front of your children.
The majority (67%–80%) of intimate partner homicides involve physical abuse of the female by the male before the murder. One of the major ways to decrease intimate partner homicide is to identify and intervene with battered women at risk.
Please read "Why does he do that?"By Lundy Bancroft. It will explain to you why he did this to you. I've linked a full PDF copy.
Omg I LOVE IT!! I totally 100% recommend it. Watch the top videos on Youtube about how to do it, and read the amazon reviews (people write tips and tricks), because the directions on the package leave much to be desired. My lashes look SO perky and beautiful, I almost forgot to put on mascara this morning! This is the kit I bought, less than $20! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073DQRJQV/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 And the best part is, you save a ton of money (it costs around $100 to get them done professionally), you can do it to your girlfriends, and your eyelashes stay permed for 4+ weeks :)
I haven't found anything yet, but I'd love some suggestions for books on the art of conversation. I think it is an overlooked art. It can help us career-wise or for having fulfilling conversations with out SOs or potential SOs.
Other than that, I'd suggest "Moonwalking With Einstein," and "The Power of Habit." Those might put you on the self-help track. They're also very practical.
Also, I think it is helpful and feminine to be a positive person, so I might try "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and her subsequent books. I know a lot of people think it is New Age bullcrap, but I do believe we an change our psychology by changing our inner dialogue. I have never read Psychocybernetics, but I imagine it is very similar from what you've described. I'm going to add it to my "To Read" list!
There's lots of interesting research, theories and evidence to how societies became more or less patriarchal - some physical:
agriculture development means cultures who mostly use ploughing (need for brute strength) made men more active 'outside'. societies where ploughing was the norm became more patriarchal than those where hoeing (fine for both sexes).
Societies with abundant resources tend to be less patriarchal, less focused on sexual exclusivity/lineage concerns - less intragroup competition for resources means survival can be focused on the whole group.
Patriarchal lineage very common in societies with high instances of war - children of conquered people and conquerors are automatically of the conquering society.
Quora has a really interesting topic on lots of reasons with evidence, if anyone is interested :)
https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/medical-reasons-obesity
“Hypothyroidism. This is a condition where the thyroid gland, located in the neck, produces too little thyroid hormone. Thyroid hormone regulates our metabolism.”
You’re not a bad person for not dating them — and yes — the vast majority claim to have issue when there isn’t one. But, that being said, it is possible to have multiple disorders that make you obese.
FENSACE Women's Scoop Neck Sleeveless Midi Casual Flared Tank Floral Printed Dress stuff like this
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B078B7P1QD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_REX.FbWTCPM2F
I just bought a white and black pair of these. I'm in Canada so your options may be different. I prefer the leg warmer style as one can wear over heels and boots, or other thin socks under.
I don't shave my ahem, but I'm male and shave my facey-bits. I've had issues with razorburn for years, and I finally discovered that, of all things, Banana Boat after sun lotion is a great shaving cream. (Even stranger, the first five ingredients are the same as sensitive face scrubs. I started using it in place of soap to wash my face when I discovered that my jaw felt clean after shaving. No more oily skin as my face tries to recover from being dried out by soap. Fewer breakouts. I love the stuff!)
No, I don't work for Banana Boat or Amazon, but here is the stuff I use:
Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Lotion Pump 16 Ounce (473ml) (3 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GMPBQWI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_LJWgzS1QnuYkp
Not sure what your hair situation is like, but it's often one of the first things men will notice. It's a subtle evolutionary indicator of youth and fertility. Start taking hair vitamins (bonus points since they're similar to pre-natal vitamins) and consider trying a new style or color. Even getting subtle highlights can have a dramatic effect.
Also, figure out what hair type you have and think about whether your products are the best fit given your concerns. Speaking from personal experience, I finally realized that my hair was wavy (obvious in hindsight) and I needed to revamp my routine to support that. r/curlyhair has tons of resources if that's relevant to your needs.
Also, if you don't exercise, start. It's the single most impactful thing you can add to your routine. I started doing Chloe Ting's workouts on YouTube (2-3 videos per day each about 10-15 minute long) around April and I started seeing much more muscle definition by August.
Good luck and sending you good vibes!
What Makes Us Girls: And Why It's All Worth It by Brittany Pettibone
What Makes Us Girls analyzes seven of the most common issues that result in a destructive sense of self-worth: comparison, rejection, bullying, inauthenticity, purposelessness, betrayal and guilt. It's a great perspective on combatting current social issues and its effects on the self worth.
Hope you give this a read, I've attached the Amazon link if anyone else wants to give it a look. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0997202939/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_UGz9CbE906SWZ
I had used the crest white strips in the past but a dentist gave me a sample of these to try and I fell in love with them! I found the same ones on amazon for much less than the dentist. They cover all your teeth rather than just the front ones like white strips. They are much more comfortable and effective! Opalescence Go 15% https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ER5NN3K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_47ANCbBM49QXW
I don't think I've seen this suggested anywhere, but while RPW books like "Surrendered Single" were great mindset shifters, the book that actually has provided the greatest insight into actually CHANGING myself is "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. It's a fantastic read for anyone looking to build some of the wonderful red pill "changes" into their lives and making it stick, like working out or keeping organized, focusing on a hobby, etc.
ABSOLUTELY read "Learned Optimism" by Dr Seligman - he's the leading researcher on optimism and basically redefined how everyone looked at it. I seriously believe it could be very beneficial to your specific line of thinking.
To summarize: optimism as we think of it has to do with your explanatory style AKA how you explain to yourself why bad things happen. Half of the book is about the actual research done and how he came to the groundbreaking results he did. The rest is how you can change your explanatory style. It also has you take the clinical quiz that most psychological researchers use in testing the variables of optimism, so you get a really really clear understanding of your own standing.
Results: Your levels of optimism affect everything you do and every relationship you have. Although becoming a more optimistic person does not remediate former hardships or alleviate current struggles, it absolutely changes how you process and then respond to such.
Hey there - I also worked in an extremely stressful environment for seven years. What I learned was that my stress levels were determined by me and me only. So, I started looking at ways to reduce stress and I came across Bill Murray.
Ok, stay with me for a second. Yes, Bill Murray looks like he has a dream job (shoot, I'd take over for him in a heartbeat!), but every job has its stresses.
What Murray learned early on was that if he didn't take responsibility for his stress and manage it himself, it would severely hinder is ability to perform and his happiness in life. As he likes to say, "This isn't a dress rehearsal." - we only get one shot at life.
The same tactics Murray uses to manage his stress levels are only now beginning to pop up in Silicon Valley. Places like Google and Salesforce are actively working to help their employees reduce their stress levels.
Take a peek at my post on LinkedIn. You might find it helpful as you decide the best way to manage workplace stress in your life.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/bill-murray-hollywoods-jolly-good-fellow-alex-mooney
Best wishes, Alex
Sounds like you're doing everything right. Too bad meds don't work for him. My mother (works as a occupational therapist) says ECT sometimes does wonders when nothing else works. It's not what you probably expect from media portrayal.
In regards to supplements, try and pick ones that have the USP mark on them (if you're in the US). That shows the supplement contains the levels marked on the label, does not have harmful levels of contaminants, and is made using sanitary and good manufacturing processes.
If you are concerned about your vitamin levels, consider doing some food tracking on Cronometer. You can see how many vitamins and electrolytes you are getting from your food, and even track things like Omega-3 and 6. You can add in your supplements as a food. Through tracking I've found that my vitamin D, vitamin E, vitamin B12, calcium, zinc, magnesium and potassium all need to be supplemented.
Don't mean to necro an old thread but didn't see any reason to create a new one. I absolutely love browsing Pinterest for recipes and made this particular one on Saturday (http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Slow-Cooker-Herbed-Balsamic-Pork-Roast-1176458?columns=4&position=1%2F41). HOLY MOLY. It is just so warm and inviting and scrumptious and all things that are good. I wasn't sure how keen the Mr would be for a strong balsamic flavor so I opted to add 2C vegetable broth. I think it would do well with less even, but this is a write it down recipe that we will keep cooking! I added ~6 chopped red potatoes and 1/2 large bag of baby carrots. I would double the carrots/potatoes when I cook again because I found that the veggies went far too quickly!
If you want something statistically valid: https://www.photofeeler.com/
However, I am curious what one would do with the information that you seem to be asking for. Let's imagine there's a magic booth you could go into, and poof, it takes, like, pictures and an MRI and X-Rays and a laser scan and spits out a receipt with a number that says "Beep boop I am a SMV robot you are a 5.8". What would you do then?
You got this! May I also make a recommendation for a book that might help you on your journey? I subscribe to Suzanne Venker's Patreon and I got an early release copy of her most recent book. I find the information very valuable on what to look for in a potential partner. Here's the link: https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Hitched-Stay-Marriage-Minded/dp/1637580525
I got me and my daughter matching ones from amazon and I’m in love with them. They also have a variety of different colors here
I’ve actually found some amazing and affordable ones on Amazon. This is my captain’s favorite that I’ve purchased recently:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D5T6SWV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F6k3CbVJ43VAX
It’s super comfy and flattering, pairs well with a cardigan. It’s wild how I wear this (& cardigan), which covers every inch of my up to my neck, and every time I wear it he goes crazy and has to rip it off. Modesty is seriously sexy, ladies!
I’m seeking more suggestions, too, in this thread, but figured I’d throw this one out.
Both my parents were a bit messed up but my dad unfortunately pushed my mom into having some terrible issues so I can relate. My whole family is in the healing process so these are some things that either my mom, sister, or I have tried:
Counseling, group therapy, religion, time spent in nature, exercise (solo & group), time focusing on projects to help others (too much time on self causes more suffering.) And lots of reading. She should fill her mind constantly with other thoughts and ideas because right now her thoughts are influenced by how she was treated in her marriage. Honestly, reading is what helped the most.
My favorite book I'd recommend is "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield. If I was rich I would honestly buy thousands of copies and give them to people in need.
The Art of Mindful living, Tao of Happiness, and The Power of Habit are also good.
Organizations I'd recommend: Toastmasters and the Rotary Club.
She can't figure herself out when she is only "interacting" with herself. She needs to have different facets of who she is come alive through as many different (and healthy) thoughts, ideas, and experiences as possible.
Hope this helps!
Mindset.
The mind is the filter, by which you perceive the world. With the proper mindset, you can be happy almost anywhere. Mindset drives life. It sets activity in motion and defines goals. It motivates you to get off the couch and in the fight.
Having said all that...mindset is unique to each person and you need a teacher that speaks your language, metaphorically speaking.
I learned mindset through history, but I also enjoy the history of people and how/why they lived.
If you are interested in similar, there are some great books on the topic of mindset...again, depending on what you like/dislike.
I should preface this by saying that building mindset is like building muscle, there is pain before gain. You have to have the knowledge before you gain perspective and the perspective before you can assess/set goals and goals before you can get motivated to act and action leads to goals getting accomplished.
It all starts with knowledge which comes from the following...
Gates of Fire, by Stephen Pressfield.
As Man Thinketh, by James Allen
Man's Search for Meaning
The Killer Angels (very good book about hardship in America building strong people).
The Long Walk, by Slavomir Rawicz- Absolutely amazing book about a trek to freedom across the Gobi Desert. There are allegations that this book is fake...I studied it and I believe it is a true story but I think the author likely didn't come from a background where maps were plentiful. He likely did what he said...but it was an oral history of sorts.
The Greatest Survival Stories Ever Told, by Lamar Underwood- Classic compiled set of stories that we were mostly told in childhood...very very good book with a lot of short stories of people in difficult situations throughout history.
Surviving Survival, The Art and Science of Resilience, by L. Gonzales
Good luck.
Read Martin Seligmann's Learned Optimism and Flourish.
I recommend those two very highly.
He is, or was, the president of American Psychological Association. He got there by making the study of positive psychology from scratch. Everyone else in the Association dealt with 'less negative'. He works with adding positive. He is the only one who knows how happiness looks like. Everyone else works with less misery. They were happy to elect him.
Since I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up I have bought little rectangular baskets to fold my underwear into and I keep my bras tidy. I also used her folding method to fold my husband's work tshirts and I also set the kitchen sponge outside to disinfect. I really recommend her book, especially if you have an interest in Japan.
In the past three months:
- "Socialism Is Great!": A Worker's Memoir of the New China
- If This Is a Man / The Truce
- LSD My Problem Child: Reflections on Sacred Drugs, Mysticism and Science
- Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character
I haven't been reading as much as I usually do. I'd say my taste in books is oddly... Nonfictiony.
I'd like to help you out here.
Consider this: You aren't doing the "fixing" of yourself for HIM. You're doing it for YOU. Consider yourself your best friend. When you go to do something, ask yourself if it's what you would do for your best friend or not. If not, reconsider and make a better plan of action.
Also, look into anti-depressents if you aren't on them (for stabalization of the mind) and start practicing meditation and being present. Simple little things help. Notice when you're mind is running thoughts or you're having strong feelings and ask yourslef what's wrong. Literally, ask yourself. If you aren't being genuine, chances are you are going to have inner conflict. Mental illness tends to make peoiple act selfishly because they become overwhelmed. If you can find out what's wrong, you can address it before it's too intense.
Also, ask for help from your husband by asking him how he thinks he could help. He's still there because he loves you. Show him it's appreciated by TRUSTING his judgment. You obviously care about him, after all.
Lastly, stop considering yourslef "menatlly ill" as it creates a problem to solves. Consider yourslef someone with strong emotions who is probably eccentric and unique because of them. The fears become less fritening when you consider them a part of you that you simply will deal with like anyone else would theirs. This was the single biggest reason I was able to get my life in gear.
Some books that will help are "The Power Of Now" and Mind Over Mood. The former for learning to get out of your head and the latter for analysing and changing your actions and building confidence. Hope this helps somewhat.
Making the bed is a great one. The room feels so much fresher!
I read The Power of Habit recently, which got me into a similar groove. I used to do chores "whenever I felt like it" which ended up being whenever the home got too gross to stand. Then I'd be angry about how terrible the house was and have to do a full day of cleaning. Ugh!
Now I have triggers which start a habit. Trigger: get out of bed = habit: make the bed (i.e. before leaving the room!) Trigger: dinner is over = habit: wash the dishes.
I do daily tidy-up. Make the bed, pick up towels in the bathroom, wipe the sink and counter in the kitchen, do the dishes, put away Xbox toys in the living room.
Then weekly cleaning. Monday is the bedroom: vacuum, dust, laundry. Tuesday is bathroom: clean all surfaces with bleach, finish chrome and mirrors with Windex. Wednesday is kitchen, etc etc.
I'm lucky enough to work from home, so I do the cleaning on my lunch break. It's just a bit of cleaning every day, so I don't mind. And after a couple weeks it's not a bother at all. I can enjoy 100% of my evenings and weekends.
I can relate to you - my SO went through a period of 6 months where he hated his job, did nothing but complain about it, and then for 3 months tried to find a new job with basically no luck. In the grand scheme of our relationship, 6 months was a very short time but I had never found him more unattractive than during that time.
I think the great thing about men is their steadfastness and their ability to 'keep on trucking', as well as the fact that once you have hit rock bottom, there is no way to go but up. If you truly love him, imagine how happy you will be when he does get out of this rut, and you should be able to care for him and support him during this time, just as he would do for you in the same situation. (If not, then he might not be the right guy - just by virtue of being a RPW doesn't mean you must stay with the wrong guy)
You have to ask yourself: do you believe in him? Because you can't fake that, and if he senses that you think he's a failure then it's just going to make things worse. I asked myself that, and for me it was a yes, I do believe in him so I resolved to do my best to show him that I believed in him. In the end, my SO found a great new job but I won't lie that confidence-wise he had hit the lowest I had ever seen him in our 10 years together.
Also, I would try and avoid putting the pressure of having a family on him at this point. He needs to focus on building himself up first and foremost, then the rest will fall into place.
A really good book is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - I know it sounds corny but it is an incredible wake up call to someone who feels 'lost'. And note that 'Rich' in the title does not mean money. Has he read other Red Pill articles for men? They might help too.
It's a tough world for men (and everyone) right now, he's lucky if he's found a good woman to love and support him where he needs it.
I think they are a good example :)
My captain is a huge fan of Dave Ramsey. Him getting me on board was a huge positive in our marriage. He took total control of our finances, called me out on my hideous overspending, put me on an allowance and took away the credit cards.
Right now we're on track to being debt free in less than two years!! I can't advocate for Dave Ramsey and "The Total Money Makeover" enough. Also for fellow atheists, yes he's quite preachy but you can just read past it.
I've owned a lot of leggings, but the best ones ever were a pair by Marika. Ugh...the fit, the fabric, the cut, the construction.
I wore them so much they got worn out. But they did last a lot longer than most of my other workout leggings.
This is the model of the leggings.
I had the long, ankle length version in blue. I want to buy like 10 more pairs.
I haven't tried it yet, but for the napkins I'm planning to print out a pattern onto special transfer paper, then iron on the pattern. (https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B087Z6GT6N?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details&th=1)
The other iron on pattern I use works really well, though! It comes off after one, maybe two, washes, but it's still bold enough to be a good guide.
I found the book <em>No More Mr Nice Guy</em> to be life-changing. A few things in your post make me think your boyfriend might also find the book eye-opening.
Also, I heartily recommend <em>When I Say No I Feel Guilty</em>. Unlike NMMNG, it's geared toward men or women—anyone looking for a balanced, healthy assertiveness.
Thirdly, I find your mutual puzzling over what the relationship "rules" are to be adorable :)
"Men being providers/women the care takers are gender roles. They are social constructs (made up.) "
Neurological, psychological and sociological research says otherwise. There are inherent gender differences in behaviors, motivators, thoughts, and desires that cannot be explained by societal conditioning.
Also, bold of you to claim that your psychology could ever be unlinked from your physiology, given that your mind/personality is the product of an observable series of physical phenomena generated by a biological organ. Your social environment has an impact on your physiology, yes. But your mind *is* your brain, and your brain is subject to the physiological milieu in which it develops and sits; this includes the patterns of gene expression turned on inside your neurons at any given time, as well as responses to neurotransmitters and hormones produced inside your body. Your biological sex (namely the reproductive organ set determined by your sex chromosomes) orchestrates a hormonal concert throughout your life determines a tremendous amount about your physiology, and therefore you.
A really good, non-biased look at the academic literature on this is "Why Gender Matters" by Dr. Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D.
Not only are gender differences noticeable in infants / toddlers, prior to ages where understanding of social norms could possibly be expected, but these gender differences are mirrored in non-human primates; our closest genetic relatives who certainly don't have societally mandated gender roles.
I find the book fascinating and highly recommend it.
Vetting is a woman’s greatest tool for making probably the biggest determiner for the happiness of her daily life—who she marries. I know you know that, just that it bears repeating. :) Yeah, vet that man like your mother or grandmother. Look for all the flags you can. Ask the questions. I wished someone would have asked me, “Yeah, it feels like a drug feeling wanted by someone you also like. But do you really want and desire this, deep down in your gut, with peace that is different than the butterflies. And what are your dreams and vision for life, before you even met this guy? You owe it to yourself. A book that helped me to figure out what I wanted is by Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eharmony.com, one of the first online dating sites. Good luck!
The OP man desperately needs to read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy."
This is typical "nice guy" behavior: withholding his true feelings and opinions until he can't do so anymore, then blowing up. And to boot he's going to Reddit asking for the opinion of strangers.
youre asking an age old question that has been answered many times in fields such as attachment theory. its not the end all be all, but it might be useful to you. Here is a book on it:
This applies to men and women. You're going after men who have what is called avoidant attachment. You probably have an anxious attachment style.
Give it a read. It might be useful to you. If it's too long. Try seeing if you can find something shorter on the topic. In any case, it was very useful to me. It might give you some insight on what is happening in your decision making.
Well me being a guy,...there's my place or course,...but there is only one guy there, and I can only do so much :-)
But another good option is to build a social life using Meetup.com, then you meet the guys via your social life. You find groups that fit your interest, then there is a chance that a guy, because he got in the same group, has similar interests to you. Just join groups that aren't overly female centric otherwise you just meet guys like those 2 guys you see come to Yoga class with 50 women.
Healthy love can be incredibly boring. Emotional regulation =/= feelings.
Here's a really cool web site (and phone app) for counting calories:
The app can scan barcodes of food items.
The cool thing is that it keeps track of every nutrient, so over time you'll see if your diet is deficient/unbalanced. It can even suggest foods to compensate.
>The cookbook is definitely a great idea, though! My mother is actually making me a family recipe cookbook, but I'll have to start hunting for some other ones, just to broaden my horizons.
Check out this video where I show the cookbook that I use and how I use it, it will give you an idea of what you're looking for, https://sendvid.com/im7xqfp7
Hun I completely understand how you feel and I know how hard it is. YOU feel guilty that you feel jealousy but the truth is those people are the ones who should be ASHAMED! I struggled with this soooo much and very recently I couldn't take it so I googled this exact issue and I came up with this amazing article that helped me put it in perspective and I'm hoping it helps you as well: The Age of Envy: How to be Happy When Everyone Else's Life Looks Perfect
The article says how those people are unapologetically and deceptively showing off and that's it. They should not be making every little thing about their lives so public because it's unnecessary and the biggest issue is with them and how they aren't honest with their lives so it turns it around and helps you realize that they are suffering psychologically because they lose reality of their life after an extended period of time posting so much in such a perfect light.
Trust me please read it, it explains it better than I can and it helped me a lot. It will still be hard I know but I just try to be glad that simple things bring me happiness like nature, going for a walk, animals, etc. and that I don't need all of that attention to make me happy. Think of how exhausting having to post everything for that validation must be. Wish you the best.
A lot of the images were originally examples of "sexism" from feminist boards. Isn't it amazing how two people can look at the same image and come to opposite conclusions! If you never swallowed the pill you might look at an image of a 50s housewife and scream "Sexist!" but a RPW can look at that image and see a beautiful expression of dedication to family and traditional values.
I cringe when people who are obviously not RPW minded pin things from my "Oh the Irony" board on to their inspiration boards. The entitled "I am a princess. All girls are..." one got a lot of repins from other women, the poor things.
Hi! I'm having a similar issue, I was actually going to make a similar post.
- You could try meetup.com you could look at meetups that are centered around your faith or other interests, even if you don't find a man out of it directly it can help you expand your social circle and meet more people. although I'm from the UK I once looked up traditionalism and found a meetup in Oz, so they are out there!
​
- You said you go to the gym at home, but you could see if their are any local running groups or something similar, that way you could meet men who like fitness without the expense of the gym.
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- Don't be disheartened although I am a Christian I used to run a traditionalist Instagram page and lots of pagan (men and women) followed my account and had similar views, however (sorry if this is a harsh but it is an rp subreddit after all) I must admit their are certain paths of Paganism (notably Norse/Germanic heathenism) that pace more emphasis on traditional gender roles and conservative views than others.
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good luck, I'm in a similar boat!
For 3, I've been gradually improving my appearance with amazon prime lol, you don't have to leave the house at all and can have things shipped to you. Recently I got these cute hair claw clips that I can just throw on and it makes me look classier in 3 seconds.
Yeah, it’s really adorable and interesting how strongly they feel about sundresses!
I love wearing pants though and I think it’s a nice way for me to switch things up or if I want to try a different aesthetic. Sometimes I want to look streamlined and chic instead of ultra-feminine and girly (usually when I’m going out with my friends vs. when I hang out with my man). But my man LOVES a good jumpsuit on me too, so it just depends!!
Budget! Take the time to create your own excel spreadsheet of all your finances. Make a goal of how much you want to save so you know how much you have to cut from other parts of your life (perhaps you're shopping too much, eating out too much, etc).
Buying your things in bulk will save you a lot of money as long as you stick to a list. Things like toilet paper or water bottles you can get at a wholesale store like Costco or Sam's Club (just make sure you don't get tempted to buy the other things).
Notice how some life enjoyments can add up. Going to Starbucks or even Dunkin Donuts every morning causes you to easily spend $3.00-7.00. Take the time to make your own coffee at home - or switch to tea (healthier too!).
Using natural household cleaners such as vinegar and lemon can be a waayyy cheaper alternative than buying Tilex or Lysol. Actually those products contain harsh chemicals that's not healthy to breathe in (you can google natural cleaning remedies and create your own).
There's this new app called Acorn which takes all your transactions and creates "change" for you where they save that money for you in your bank account.
Hope this helps! Best of luck.
I learned about it during a lecture, but I found it here and here. From what I've read there was a big push to educate women at this time so that they might raise sons with strong american values and what not. Also around this time reforms were made to draw education away from the rote memorization approach that had been the standard in schools previously. That would really make sense based off of what I've seen in the classroom - the boys tend to do much better with "skill and drill" lessons that require a lot of memorization/procedural practice and really struggle with abstract conceptualization and proof. I think it would be interesting to research the performance of boys in mathematics during the "Back to Basics" movement in the 1970s that stressed the procedural skills over conceptual ones.
Hahaha, yes the female Baby Boomers were the first generation of full onslaught CAREER WOMEN!! They couldn't just get a job; they all had to have high-powered careers. They all wore a "power suit" that had huge shoulder pads.
>Low fertility is not the only characteristic that differentiates the baby boomers from their parents' cohort. Female labor force participation soared among the boomers, and young women began moving into previously male-dominated professions, while marriage rates declined precipitously and cohabitation and divorce rates increased dramatically. Age-specific crime rates and drug use among young males soared as baby boomers passed through the fifteen to twenty-four age group. Some social scientists believe that these changes were demographic adjustments made primarily in response to low relative income. And although average male earnings fell for baby boomers—especially in relative terms— the term yuppie (young urban professional) was coined to describe the high-consumption, lowsavings lifestyle of many boomers.
> It's true, but at the same time I find myself wasting a lot of time surfing websites and useless pages, so I thought maybe I should use that time doing productive things instead.
I had (have) the same issue sometimes. I found this browser add-on called LeechBlock that helps a lot (think I found it on this sub, actually).
Basically it blocks certain websites after X minutes of use and/or during a given time period. Pretty useful for those that spend a lot of time on a computer for school/work.
My Ninja-Kitty showed me this, and I was like "Nowhere to be found? Well, I'll just see about that." The Power 100 is only available via a defunct mailing list; but most if not all of the OC is there.
https://web.archive.org/web/20120615000000*/http://theninjawife.com
Don't flirt with random guys. Dress a little more traditional. Go on serious dating sites like Christianmingle or match.com
Also say you're looking for a traditional man. That's important.
I used to use the excuse that I had "strict parents" so I had to dress modestly even though I love dressing more conservative.
I'll leave a link to a dress that you might like but as others have said, ultimately you should strive to go against the grain and stand up for what you like.
I love Sam Edelman boots especially the Pierce OTK ones. They are flat but very comfy. I have them in 4 colours. Whisky Brown, Black, Green, Grey
https://www.amazon.com/Sam-Edelman-Womens-Pierce-Boot/dp/B00L4K0CMG?th=1
I got this long satin nightgown in dark blue! Cheap, pretty good quality, doesnt feel trashy, flattering and comfortable to sleep in. https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07M7DDWGT/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_ABBDMNW1FFTGMV8M5670?psc=1
All of these things are relatable. I have been there. There was a point where I would’ve suggested just to take it slow, so long as you were enjoying day to day life with him and see where you ended up. That is terrible advice. The truth of the matter is that wanting to be married with a child on the way by age 30, doesn’t give you a ton of wiggle room for non-committal men. Now 30 isn’t a magic number and I hate to think of you stressing about a specific age or date, especially since there is still a pandemic likely to hinder wedding plans. BUT we often give women bad advice regarding fertility. “Oh there’s no rush, celebs are having babies at 45.” Never count on this working out.
Either freeze your eggs ASAP and take your time slowly, overturning every rock until you find the perfect specimen of a man. Lol. Or start being very intentional and recognizing the ones who aren’t on the same page and refuse to make excuses for them. This will knock you off track.
Here is a very old, but decent, read that basically says guys know much earlier than we think whether or not they want to marry us and how we can tell. All of this said though, there are only a couple things you can do in a relationship at 27 that you can’t recover from so don’t stress too much! Most importantly, never stay stagnant while you’re waiting to figure him out. Keep improving yourself. 💕
The List: 7 Ways to Tell If He's Going to Marry You--in 30 Days or Less! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001GQ3DVU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_D6KRW2NZRGB23YJSVQTE
The Ulrich source is A Midwife's Tale, which I want everyone to read because it's just that good (find it here!!!)
Wishlisting Clark, because now I want to know even more. Reading about the Hajnal line now.
This was different and it was the same.
Yes, of course, these women stayed in the domestic sphere, but their economy of goods traded and services rendered absolutely mirrored how men did things -- there was just no money involved. Reading Ulrich on Ballard (A Midwife's Tale) is probably going to be the most enlightening thing you can do for yourself re: understanding a pre-Industrial Revolution economy.
I understand being upset and confused but you would not feel this way if you understood men and women can not be friends, just hang out, enjoy each other company. If you do not understand this and you will have millions of years of evolution (your gut) telling you that they are having sex, there is a change you might lose him to this girls etc, and you choose to ignore it or trust him.
YOU ARE NOT WRONG. You are not wrong for feelings like this is weird. Your belief system is and lack of knowledge on Humans needs updating.
https://www.amazon.com/Sapiens-Humankind-Yuval-Noah-Harari/dp/0062316095
Social atomization is just as bad for our health as smoking About 7-8 years lost of longevity. Except it effects literally everybody.
Women's work was largely unpaid and therefore undervalued bit women created community while their husbands were at work. Helped new and expectant mothers Baked pies Comforted the sick Watched each other's kids Made weekend plans Fostered relationships/connection
https://www.amazon.com/Bowling-Alone-Robert-D-Putnam-audiobook/dp/B01N94FW0P/
Btw there aren't really any/many right wing Utopias in fiction because largely right wingers believe we live in a fallen world, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and life Is managed it is not cured. They don't or at least shouldn't believe in Utopias. That level of naivety is for leftists.
But I guess the 1950s come closest.
Lots of good advice here. You don’t have to be a raving beauty in order to do well with men. We’re a lot more forgiving than the ladies sometimes think we are.
A few more tips. Meditate. (You’ll become more patient, and you’ll learn how to let things go.) Do yoga (it’s excellent for toning and for calmness, plus yoga chicks are very sexy). And work on charm. An amazing number of young American women look hot, are bright and dynamic, etc, but they have zero charm. Southern women and French women have charm in spades, and they do great with men. Type “French women” into Amazon and see what appeals to you. Here’s one book that I guarantee is good:
Source: I’m an old guy, but I’m in a 30 year long marriage and I had a lively romantic life before getting married.
To keep realistic and understand what you may have in terms of your blessings in marriage, even married women seem to get something out of this book, by a woman: https://www.amazon.com/Marry-Him-Case-Settling-Enough/dp/045123216X
Hey everyone, here is the link to get “Timeless” on amazon. From what I can see you don’t need any special promo code or to be a member of the FB group- you can use the link or just search for the book on Amazon and it should come up as free today (6/12). Tomorrow and Friday I will be commenting with links to the other free books they’re offering as well 😊 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K7HR5B3/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
it will keep them off your towels if the air isnt already on them prewash. Here is an example kind that is pretty cheap on amazon I just looked up. For what it is worth my hair is waist length
There’s an excellent book on this subject by two doctors btw:
Hooked: The Brain Science on How Casual Sex Affects Human Development
The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure
https://www.amazon.com/Coddling-American-Mind-Intentions-Generation/dp/0735224897
This is a great book, Well balanced.
Not a tip, but a recommendation for the gold mine of all homemaking guidance. It’s a book called Home Comforts : The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson. It’s an incredible resource and has helped me so much!!
Also check out the Rules Book, I'd recommend it
https://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446618799
This white chicken chili is a favorite in our house. It comes from The Hearty Boys: Talk with your Mouth Full so we call it "gay chili" :-P
- 2lb boneless skinless chicken breast (or ground chicken or whatever)
- 1 Tbls dried basil
- salt
- pepper
- 1/4 C olive oil
- 1 Spanish onion cut into 1/2 inch dice
- 1 clove garlic minced
- 1 small jalapeno minced
- 2 15 oz cans northern beans
- 1 1/2 tsp cumin
- 1/4 tsp cinnamon
- 5 basil leaves roughly chopped (I only use this when i have it, it works with just dried basil without much difference)
- 1 Tbls hot sauce
- sour cream for topping
- Recommend using cast iron skillet (I don't usually)
Heat the pan
While the pan heats toss the chicken with 1 tsp dried basil, salt and pepper and 2 Tbls olive oil. Grill chicken for 3 - 4 minutes per side until just cooked through (ME: I use the food processor and ground the chicken up, sprinkle it with salt pepper and basil and fry it in olive oil in the pan, it cooks faster and then you dont' have to chop it later - but that's me)
Remove chicken from pan and let cool. When cool enough to touch cut into 1 inch chunks an set aside
Pour remaining olive oil into pan and place on medium heat. Add onion garlic and jalapeno and cook until translucent about 10 minutes. Add chicken, beans with liquid, cumin, cinnamon, 1 1/2 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper, remaining dried basil fresh basil and hot sauce. (I am very loose with the actual measurements of these things, chili is forgiving like that).
Let chili come to a boil, reduce heat and let simmer for 20 minutes.
I also like this blog: Rachel Eats. She hasn't updated in about a year but it's a lot of traditional Italian (she's an ex pat in Rome) and some really yummy but basic dishes.
The laughs are some of the best aspects of these games ��
Thank you so much for looking it up. Is this the right game ?
Would definitely get on eBay like you mentioned because $70+ is just silly.
This is a book I recommend to a lot of my friends. The overarching goal of the book is not so much about how to find a man but to learn to put your past behind you, start becoming the happy, strong woman you want to be, and opening yourself to receive love. The chapters are short and might not all be relevant to you, but if you've got a lot to work through I'd recommend doing it day by day and actually doing all the journaling/practices she recommends.
The Rules has a lot of advice about how to get a man to decide for himself that he wants to be your boyfriend by rationing the time and attention you give to him before he commits. The specific strategies in the book are controversial, but I would absolutely recommend it to help jog your thinking.
Partially at best, in my opinion. Yes, being skilled at making a man feel good -- through sex, respect, etc. -- is useful for sustaining a relationship.
But my model for pair bonding is that a person becomes bonded when they give, not when they receive.
The world is full of women who gave and gave and gave, become tightly pair bonded to their partner, only to have their hearts broken when they learn their partner hasn't developed the same feelings.
And the world is full of men who do their submissive best to be giving to women, developing strong and unreciprocated attachments. Bitter "friend zoned" guys really have developed emotional attachments to women who have never shown them any romantic interest.
So my recommendation for women is to ask for a lot of investment and attention from their partners, while rewarding that investment with good feelings. That maximizes the chance that the partner will pairbond while offering a fair and mutually beneficial trade in return. Investing without your partner reciprocating will likely just get you hurt. Asking for his investment without reciprocating with good feelings will create resentment on his part.
If you want to know more about the strategy of asking for -- insisting on, really -- male investment, The Rules is worth a read. The exact strategies it proposes are controversial, but I would definitely recommend it to jog your thinking.
See also the Ben Franklin effect.
> I feel that I need to re-establish that between us I guess
Is it that you don't respect your man? Or that you don't know how to show him respect?
If it is the latter I recommend this post: The 7 habits of a highly effective shrew. Personally I also learned a lot about showing respect/being respectful from Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife and from Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People.
I feel like I'm in a similar mindset although I don't have kids yet. I love working and am really great at it. I was to do more and more. However I know I want to stay home for a while. So I can understand what you're going through.
You're also facing family pressure on top of all this. You might be worried that maybe they're right and you will regret it. But what if you don't regret it?
I don't know what work you do but whatever it is there might be a way to further your career while taking care of your children/staying at home. Can you start a blog in relation to it? Write a book? Create something you can put on your resume when you return for work?
I'm going into sales and creating a program on the side to help youth. I will have my program running by the time I have children. I am doing sales research and might create a blog/book/channel about it which will keep me in the feild and at home during that time. I've also started voice narrating (for added income) so I will be established by the time I have children and can do that at home.
If you're creative you can develop your career while staying at home.
Or you can start investing. Your husband earns a lot so you can focus on investing it. Read "The Millionaire Next Door." It talks about men usually doing "financial offense" while the wife staying home and doing "financial defense."
Lastly, the old wealthy or rich who stay wealth for more than a few generations tend to have the woman stay home and work hard to make sure her children are educated well. Not just english, math, etc but also about fiances, culture, manners, etc.
Its a tough decision but if you're disciplinned and hard working (which I think you are from your post) you can accomplish a lot and stay home.
Read anything written by Martin E. P. Seligman instead. He is the president of American Psychological Association, and he became that when they realized that he is the only one who knows anything about positive psychology. Everyone else there studies death, unhealthiness and not-dying. Martin Seligmann studies happiness, contentment and life.
I've read Learned Optimism and Flourish, and I'd recommend both of them over any pill. Excluding the redpill. Reading and applying what the books talk about, it is harder than swallowing the prescription pills, but the pills costs you a lot more, and the pills do not solve anything. The books costs you only once. Unlike every single pill you eat.
I just finished "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi. He was a neurosurgeon, and he started to write it after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I wouldn't classify it as self-improvement per se, but it's really about the search for meaning in life. It was very sad, but definitely worth the read.
Anything by The Teaching Company. The lectures I've listened to so far are pretty interesting and thorough!. I really liked one called Nutrition Made Clear if you want to know more about nutrition in general, I'd say it's more informative than a lot of books out there (and it did come with a PDF, thought this might have been a recent addition because many reviews say it doesn't).
Self-improvementy, I really enjoyed The Willpower Instinct. It's not wishy washy and sustains what they say with studies. However I don't know how unique the book is since I haven't read many others on the subject of willpower. I've only browsed The Power of Habit lightly and it might be similar, I don't know for sure yet. I am also starting The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt which also refers to studies, but I haven't read enough of it to recommend it (although the author does seem to be referenced by his other works around the manospohere).
Have you read Class: A Guide Through the American Status System by Paul Fussell too? Considering what you wrote here, at RPW, and considering the usual debate for and against class, I'd say that you're one of those who'd secretly keep your copy of Class. Not one them who'd burn the book and those who'd dare to read it.
I've read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and The Millionaire Next Door, and those books are excellent books on how a consumer teaches himself to become a producer instead.
Can I ask you what The Bell Curve, Losing Ground and Coming Apart are about? What subjects do they discuss? Long explanations of this graph? A dead but useful chaplain's thoughts for the UMC soldiers; men, women and children, so they'd get control of their countries again? So they don't catch unwelcome influences from the MC and LC?
Sounds like I ought to order all of them in paperback.
I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover" book. It's a great tool for setting up a budget, paying off debt quickly and efficiently and for saving for the future. Yes, he preaches a bit in it but nothing that an atheist or agnostic couldn't ignore like we did.
We have paid off vehicles, my student loan and line of credit in 3 years. It has really put everything into perspective and given us firm goals for the future. I can't recommend it enough, I suggested it to my husband who loved it. For the $10 I paid for it at a used bookstore it was well worth it. It's never too late to get a firm grasp on your money.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Total-Money-Makeover-Financial/dp/159555078X
Sounds very much like what the Buddha and many schools of mindfulness and meditation teach. Its a great philosophy to arrive at on your own. And there's a wealth of material on the lifestyle if you're interested. I remember the book "Mindfulness in Plain English" going over an introduction to this idea(originally from the Buddha thousands of years ago) and how to realize it through meditation.
Yes! Though the Doyle book I read was The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husband’s Time, Attention, and Affection.
You've received some great suggestions already but this is a program that's always recommended for aesthetics, building a booty in particular: Strong Curves
My cousin bought me The Newlywed Cookbook and it's a wonderful variety of recipes for two for a variety of occasions.
The dark chocolate tart recipe and baby lamb chops in particular are superb. I made these for Valentine's Day and I think he would've proposed to me all over again if he could.
I highly recommend Gordon Inkeles. eg https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sensual-Massage-Couples-Gordon-Inkeles-ebook/dp/B003F76X9M
or https://www.amazon.co.uk/Art-Sensual-Massage-40th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B0029LIBCM
I found this on Amazon. Personally, I have not read it, but once my husband and I start our own little family, I will have to add it on my reading list.
I LOVE that book! Have you read Gretchen Rubin's book, Better Than Before? It's a similar message, slightly different means of delivery. I thoroughly enjoyed both.
Also read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It's pretty life changing in regards to issues such as yours. Can't recommend it enough.
This book will help. After I read it, my entire perspective changed. Buy it, read it yourself and then ask him to read it.