What is Reddit's opinion of Happify?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

A child is, literally, an attack on your relationship that you need to make defenses against.

Each of you needs to spend time, attention and affection on yourself. As a couple, you need to have time where you focus only on each other, reinforce how awesome each other is, and spend time, attention and affection on each other.

These things aren't optional. They aren't quite as necessary as keeping the child alive, but they are much more necessary than almost any other element of your daily grind.

How you live your life reflects your priorities. If you have time for laundry but not each other, then you are actually caring more about the laundry than each other.

I like this because it's fairly solid study-wise and doesn't come with a lot of freight of one author's pet theories. It's a nice few minute guide to some of the things you should pay attention to.

The fact that you feel genuinely bad about it says a lot about your character. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, that's part of being human.
This may help, I'm available for then next couple hours if you want to PM me. Remember we are here for you :)

/u/LilymyDear has it right. It must be hard with lives in two different countries. Following your career is a hard but important step but you also need balance in your life. You've been there three years and you don't have friends outside of work. Is there a language barrier for you? If you can, you might want to get outdoors in nature more and/or develop some friendships with women. These two things, for me, have been a great sense of balance from my partner and my family.

I understand the feeling of wanting to be with someone but wanting to want to be with (by) yourself. You need to find hobbies you can be passionate about. Or volunteer.

Around this time, for me, I arranged some tweet-ups for foodies, where people could all eat out at different restaurants together. It was a fun way to meet people and I made friendships I still have today.

Also, I'm not related to this site but i like http://www.happify.com. They have happiness-type activities and it's supposed to be based on the science of happiness. It helps you learn about and focus on what's most important to you.

I know it's a bit cutesy, but they seem to back up the cutesy with some rigor:

http://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/

I don't know which, specifically, of their sources says that the happiest couples have sex 2-3x per week, but I'll believe it over Discover's blog entry of a meta-study.

It's just blather not supported by anything.

Here's a popular, attractive article that is boiled-down study results:

http://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/

Relevant to this sub:

• The happiest couples have sex 2-3 times per week
• Sex once a week or more makes you significantly happier

> Please remember that so much of financial success is luck.

Why? Not asking rhetorically; why is this a useful or empowering thing for people to remember?

If you keep telling yourself that the key to success is outside your control (luck), you are sabotaging your chances of achieving it. By contrast, if you keep telling yourself that you control your success, you are more likely to achieve it.

It's useful from a personal-happiness standpoint to practice gratitude for the ways you've been lucky, but research indicates it's a terrible idea to let that erode the belief that your future success will come from your effort.

http://www.happify.com/ -- Has games to help you worry less! And, positive news and stories to increase your sense of well being.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Figure out what you're really worried about, how to recognize it in your body and in your mind, how to think through it.

Stoicism - Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus discuss this in depth. Also, consider the concept of "negative visualization".

Challenge the thoughts of worry as they arise. Most things we worry about have positive or neutral outcomes! And, if you're worried about what you'll do about a negative outcome, think that through too. When you do, you often realize that while you may not like the outcome, you can indeed handle it (which is where most of the stress comes from).

>But i couldn't even look her in the face cause when i did i just remembered how beautiful she was and it made my heart sink. She's a cool person and its not really her fault but im not sure what to do about it.

Yeah I know. We are somewhat wired to be greedy, not satisfield with what we have! Being able to be satisfield, and grateful for what we do have, are wonderful skills to learn. Be grateful for having met her, and her continued presence in your life, and your skills at being a attractive person & a good friend.

> At first i though maybe i was a last resort but it seems as though she has a few guys who wanna "hang out" with her but im the go to guy. One day we were walking to the club and she started telling me about how i was the only person she liked and that i was the only real person she met.

> wondering if im looking like a huge loser

She likes to spend time with you, including having a couple of days away together. You're obviously very good company, so no reason at all to think you're a "loser"!

> But she also tells me of the guys she hooks up with which is very awkward for me.

I can totally appreciate that it's a bit icky. Maybe you can talk about this with her.

Whatever, make sure you dedicate some time to going out without her, and to making additional friends.

PS. You might like to look into /r/mindfulness . This is another fab skill, that helps us appreciate the current moment (the NOW), bringing our scumbag brain to heel when it drifts off on to subjects that make us low, anxious, etc.

You do this over and over as work to train your brain to focus on positive things. You might still feel less than 100% but at least you'll be much more kind to yourself. Work on meditating and doing mindful living. This will keep you aware of your thoughts. So when you start thinking, "I suck at life. I'm not good enough" while doing the dishes, you'll start asking yourself, "Why would you say that voice in my head? I love me. I have __ feature that is just the best. I do __ for a living and I like __ about it." Or, if you don't feel up to arguing with your currently hellish inner voice, you'll go, "I'm doing the dishes to the best of my ability right now. Maybe I'll improve. Right now, I'm putting soap where it needs to go. Good job me. Right now, I am doing the pre-scrub I have to do. Good job me." and you'll continue focusing on the task and working on congratulating yourself for tasks as they happen.

When I started mindfully living I started feeling lots better. It will help you but it won't be the 100% solved in a month or less panacea. Check out 5 love languages It will also help you love yourself. Take their quiz to find out your strongest languages. Are you speaking them to yourself? Start. Continue. Never stop. Working on being mindful and loving yourself will get you out of your funk. And if it's too hard to love yourself at one time or one day, forgive yourself for that moment and acknowledge the moment sucked but you have had better days and will soon.

Check out happily as well. Do their free tracks. Over and over and over. It will help you practice while playing goofy little games. You will get happier. None of these will solve your problems at once. They'll teach you skills to cope and get through your problems yourself. You got this. You really do.

I think as humans, we have this habit that when things are not going well and we've given up, we have a tendency to lean toward an absolute. In this case death. But it's not that black and white. Life or Death, Happy or Sad. The extremes exists, but everything comes on a sliding scale and I believe in the idea, that people have the power to change and move up the scale. You just need to remind yourself to recognize small progress, and praise yourself for it.

See if you can start going back to the gym 1-2 times a week or even just a quick run. Get the blood pumping and releasing some endorphins. Also, add in some vitamins, maybe some 5htp for serotonin. Sometimes when you fall out of these little healthy routines that contributed to your happiness, your body just starts to miss it.

And, you're right, finding the right help does seem expensive these days. I came across this website called Happify - maybe try this out? They say it takes aprx. 21 days to form a new habit/routine. Maybe this is something you can do in downtime rather than being in your own head (because you can be your own worst enemy). Lastly, I googled "free online therapy" and they are various free platforms, by which you can explore help. I hope this is of use to you and doesn't cause any stress on your wallet.

I don't know how you feel now or how you'll be when you wake up, but try to remember, if you wake up thinking, "I wish I was dead" just remember that there's some anonymous person on the internet who wishes you well and has faith in your ability to be happy again. I hope this all makes sense. :)

In general. Are you. 'I'm grateful I've got a loving family' or 'I'm grateful to live near [nice feature in your area].' I've seen a few different articles about it. Here are a few of them.

That is pure conjecture and deflection. Obama armed them and even dismissed their threat as the "JV" team. They became powerful through Obamas action in Syria and inaction in Iraq.

You should watch this video. Its really good. It will give you insight into Obamas actions.

http://www.happify.com/hd/when-you-blame-others-heres-whats-really-happening/

No, I really get it. I didn't think I could do it either. I was forced after someone I was talking to contacted my mom. I don't want you to get to that point. You're never stuck. Just because you can't picture it doesn't mean it can't happen.

It's not necessarily a war. You work on it slowly, one thing at a time. I just started going on a website called Happify check it out! We can be buddies on there. It's already taught me a useful coping mechanism for negative thoughts. We'll do it together :)

Yeahhh, I still have trouble sleeping. Instead of staying up all night (which I've totally done) you should just try fixing your schedule now. Wake up at the same time every day. It's a lot easier. Because sometimes even after staying up all night/day, I STILL couldn't sleep. You also won't get enough rest and your first day could be a lot harder.

Haha that's awesome! I just got into them last month. The first song I heard was Car Radio. Fell in love with the lyrics. I don't know if you're into pop punk, but one of my favorite bands is called Handguns. They're super angsty, I love it. Best Excuse

Ahh - I should never make assumptions about who I'm talking to on Reddit.

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

Many people go through depression in their lives. It's a common, normal thing, possible just a chemical imbalance in your brain (which can be fixed with exercise, meditation, social contact and 8 hours of regular sleep).

Try some of the following. If it works, great! If not, forget it and move on to try something new. DO NOT beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

1. Read this http://www.lifebuzz.com/9-epiphanies/#!OMnm9

2 Most importantly just let life be what it is. All suffering comes from CRAVING life to be different than it is. You can still have dreams, passions, desires & preferences. But you let go of feeling the outcome HAS to be a certain way or it's a total disaster. Let go of feeling that life HAS to be different than it is or life isn't worth living. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to be depressed, it's ok to wish lot's of thing were different in your life. But it's also OK as it is. You can be ok as life is right now. When you live long enough you often realize that almost all your hard times (including depression) ended up being positive things in the end. Look for "The gifts of adversity".

1. Try watching one of these videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnJ-KJLPlRw90rGs_6XfmmQ

Forget anything in those videos that doesn't make sense to you

1. Try http://www.happify.com/

Good luck!

PM if you need more support.