These American Girl books really helped me. My parents explained a couple things, but if I didn't want to ask I could look at these books: https://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-Younger-American/dp/1609580834
edit: Spelling
Also, they are in two parts now, which is pretty cool.
Honestly getting her shit faced might be the best option. You can order a ring sizer offline for really cheap.
We just ordered my ring and we had such a hard time figuring out my size without that, and I was 100% in on it.
I bought this one and it was really accurate:
Ring Sizer Mandrel and Ring Sizer... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MG5HOEO?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
(note, the plastic sizers that you try on are very accurate. The stick that came with it that you measure the size of rings you already have was NOT accurate for me, just a heads up)
You use glue (not regular glue)got2b or gorilla snot .
Or you can use a closure wig, it’s similar to frontals except you don’t need glue, you just put it on.
If someone - or yourself- tells you to NOT think about a pink elephant, all your brain is going to be able to do is think about that pink elephant. It’s normal. Most people have intrusive thoughts even at the most inopportune/inappropriate times. Normal!
But if you’re looking to overcome it my therapist recommended this book to me and it’s helped. https://www.amazon.ca/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346
This is the item I have (link below).
I got a larger size so you have more of a surface area and don’t have to be so precise where you are lying.. I’m sure you guys know what I mean.
My favorite part is that it doesn’t absorb like your regular towels and then you’re having to run to get them in the laundry before the stains set. Even if you toss it in the floor and don’t get around to washing it for a while like I do, oops.. everything just washes right out.
Nothing ruins sexy time like wondering if you got blood all over the sheets.
Elf Star Cotton Bamboo Fiber Breathable Waterproof Underpads Mattress Pad Sheet Protector for Children or Adults, Neutral Color, 1 Pad 27"X35" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074SDRS54/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_2hc5DbTVKF5HP
I was recently recommended a book called "Getting the love you want" maybe worth checking out Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805087001/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_.f1fDb8Y3DAEX
I'd recommend this one: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GVBTTRR/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1
it was my first vibrator, it has 3 settings and I love it. it's very gentle and gets the clit and g-spot together, which is really important.
edit: it's a lot less intimidating than a Hitachi/wand vibrator. I have one of those now and it's a lot more intense, super fun but not what I'd recommend to start with.
I want to validate that it’s upsetting and it does feel dangerous. You’re not being a crybaby, especially if this is the first time you have this type of attention on you. Unfortunately, it’s a rite of passage every woman goes through.
Take women self defense classes or seminars to learn how to look unapproachable. I also recommend reading “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. Knowing that you can fight back is a powerful tool. By taking steps to protect yourself, you can feel safer.
Know that it is ok for you to be “rude”. No one is entitled to your time or your attention. My go to is to not answer or respond to attention. However, I will admit I don’t get that much attention as I’m not a conventional attractive woman so my methods may not work as well.
Taxi driver conversations: that could be mundane. You can turn it around. Give a vague reply, “the South Side” or even “I prefer to keep it private” and then ask them detailed questions so they talk about themselves. Or you can just ignore them and say you’ve had a long day. If they insist on asking you questions, then they’re being rude and intrusive.
Gaining weight as a defense mechanism is a common tactic but it has long term health consequences. I advise against it because healthcare is expensive (in the US). Also, gaining weight won’t prevent all violence against you. Being a woman comes with an inherent set of risks, regardless of size.
Random violence happens to everyone, regardless of looks, gender, or size. I don’t know the city you live in or what the circumstances are so I can’t say it will all be ok. At the same time, the world is less dangerous than the news or television shows portray. I stopped watching police procedural shows because I realized it made me paranoid to leave the house. I’ve traveled solo in US cities late at night and have been fine. I’ve also been groped in broad daylight.
For how to approach it, I know some people that use the book “It’s so amazing” with their nine year olds. It is very detailed about both male and female bodies, reproduction, pregnancy, birth, etc. But, it also keeps it age appropriate so the kid doesn’t become uncomfortable. They make a younger and an older version too so it gets more detailed as it goes on. A lot of TED talks explain how to go about this well and I’ve found them really helpful. Talking about it is hard, but maybe reading about it will be easier. I’ll attach the link for the book, and hopefully it helps! Tell him I said good luck and you’ve got this! https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E8XDFE84ABZKP9R4N61N&dpID=512fzB-d8ZL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40&dpSrc=detail
True story. When I was a teenager I had my bedroom and bathroom upstairs and my parents bed/bath were downstairs. Sometimes my dad would be working on the computer upstairs and use my bathroom. He asked my mother to ask me if I could "put away" my tampons/pads so he didn't have to see them (they were probably on the edge of the sink or on the back of the toilet or something). Not used sanitary items, literally he had to telephone a request through my mother because god forbid he SEE a box of tampons in his teenage daughter's bathroom.
​
I told her that the tampons/pads were staying exactly where they were--there was nothing wrong with them and if he had a problem he could come talk to me about it himself-- I actually might have said "if he has a problem he could go f*ck himself..." but I'd like to think my mouth was a bit cleaner back then... Guess what. It was never brought up again. I refused to feel ashamed about it, and he was too uncomfortable to actually talk to me about it like an adult--so he kept on being uncomfortable and I kept on living my life.
​
Bottom line is, their discomfort and awkwardness is not your problem and shouldn't translate into your shame--don't let it. Never let someone make you feel that an event that happens to (almost) all women for 40+ years of their lives on a monthly basis is gross or strange or weird--it's just not.
​
Practically, ask your mom if she can get you something like this to keep in the bathroom or in your room (you can line it with grocery store trashbags if you'd like) to avoid having to schlep bathroom trash outside of the bathroom on a regular basis (not just for sanitary items, but in general, it seems logical to have a small trashcan in there...)
I've used something like this for a couple years now to great effect.
They have a little indentation on the inside to accommodate a perky nip. Under a bra they are virtually invisible.
Fuck the patriarchy.
The best trick I know of is the 20/20/20 rule. Every 20 minutes, look about 20 feet (5 or 6m) for 20 seconds. After I had Lasik done, the ophthalmologist mentioned it to me, and it's like a stretch for your eyes.
A program like f.lux to reduce blue light from your monitor might also help.
Man here. This is a serious thing. Porn rewires the viewers brain, potentially more so than a woman. You might appreciate reading about the "male funnel", https://www.netnanny.com/blog/pornography-and-sexuality-exploring-the-male-and-female-brains/
Unless he has a physical or mental issue, it is very plausible he is secretly viewing porn. He may also be embarrassed to admit it. And you might be tempted to indulge his fantasies but they will probably only grow more intense for him. Hopefully this is not the case, but I'd seriously reevaluate your engagement because whatever the cause it will be very difficult to reverse course and could come to define your relationship.
I hope I'm just being alarmist and this is not the case, but if it is, take this very seriously. Good luck.
I recommend the Mambe Silky Soft Throw on amazon! It’s wayyy less than the Liberators and I love mine. Feels like a lightly weighted blanket and doesn’t have a crinkly sounding/feeling middle, yet very much waterproof. I often squirt literal pints some times and this has absolutely saved me, my furniture, and dry cleaning bills. And times when I don’t squirt as much, I can usually get a second session out of it before washing. (Not letting it sit too long in between of course.)
I washed it before first use and didn’t have an issue with liquid pooling. It IS a pain in the ass to dry though. I make sure to keep it at a max of “medium” heat and it takes longer to dry through than a normal load would. And I usually have to squeeze out excess water between the wash cycle and drying cycle. But still. Worth. It.
Here's a masterdoc a lot of people have found helpful to figure out if they're experiencing comphet (compulsory heterosexuality), i.e. feeling a false attraction to men because they think that's what they should feel. It's aimed at lesbians, but it helped me figure out I wasn't attracted to most men because I'm on the ace spectrum, so it can be helpful for anyone questioning!
I came here to say this! You can also make one yourself, I've never tried it but people say that it's easy. Just make sure there's no metal in it...
Oh hell no. You are not overreacting. That is scary as fuck.
Since you said that you can't use a deadbolt, I would get a doorstop or figure out another way to stop someone from opening the door until things are figured out. Maybe something like this, or even use a chair.
Depending on where you live, you should have a tenant advocacy board in your province/city you can contact. They may also be able to get you out of your lease if you guys just want to get out of there, or help you deal with this issue. It should be relatively easy to find if you google them up. If you have time, I would consider calling the police non-emergency line and asking them for advice because to me, this is more than just a landlord issue. This man came into your home and was looming over your roommate as she slept like a fucking predator.
I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. No one should feel unsafe in their own home :(
I think I am using the same one?
Been using this for over 5 years, its cute and no issues. Tracks periods very nicely. Been pretty useful since I have PCOS.
It has a cute animal which you tap when your period starts, maybe your niece will like it?
Period Tracker Period Calendar https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.popularapp.periodcalendar
Period Tracker Period Calendar. https://apps.apple.com/jp/app/period-tracker-period-calendar/
You can google "first period kits" and see what it's included in those and make one for her. It would just require a quick stop at the store and would be a nice gesture. Usually they are a small bag/purse with a few different types of pads/liners/tampons, a small bottle of ibuprofen, some new undies, and maybe something fun like a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate. A heating pad is also nice. If you are also concerned with the messaging from your wife, go on amazon and get a book, something like this, that's specifically about puberty and starting her cycle. Or send her a link to a website geared towards that.
Here's a grammar lesson for you since you can't comprehend the functionality of 'they.'
There is no trolling. You're a creepy person with creepy intentions. End of story.
Don't mess with stick on bras. They don't work for bigger chests instead look into using gaffers tape or boob tape and/ or this product https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4MBNGH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_MWK8BAHV3S6QJBWQH4KB
I was going to say, it's just one of several possibilities, but this is one sign of compulsory heterosexuality! OP, it might be worth looking over something like this popular questionnaire just to check and see if anything else sounds familiar.
You shouldn’t judge your relationship on the good times, you should judge it on the difficult times... and this is very, very bad. So bad it’s abusive.
When my partner gets mad, he has never yelled at me. He’s never called me names. He’s never said anything hurtful. I’ve never done those things either. He talks about his feelings, I talk about mine, and we have a discussion - that’s it. Because I love him and respect him.
Your boyfriend came from a dysfunctional family, so it’s likely he just doesn’t know what’s normal or acceptable, but that doesn’t make it okay. It means he needs to recognize this isn’t healthy and needs professional help to stop this behavior. The thing is, you can’t force him to see that. You can encourage him, but he has to see it as wrong and want to change.
I think this is worth leaving over, but if you want to try, you can tell him this isn’t okay and he needs to get help to manage his anger and learn how to handle conflict better - or else the relationship is over. He needs therapy on his own AND you need couples therapy. And you need to be prepared to leave if he refuses, because you can’t expect someone else to respect you if you won’t respect yourself.
I also second another commenters suggestion on reading Why Does He Do That
social isolation brings out the worst in everyone.
but you gotta find a way to manage your feelings or you're going to drive away this person that you care about so much.
try to reframe your thinking around this - it's a good thing that he gets to have fun without you. you'll have things to talk about when you spend time together! you'll learn more about him as a person from listening to what makes him happy and why.
it can be hard to make friends, but you have to put yourself out there and expand your network of people you know. i don't know where you are on the planet, but meetup.com has events all over. find something that is even mildly interesting to you and go talk to some people. didn't like it? find something else. eventually, you're going to find some people and interests outside your relationship that will help you grow as a person.
activities and hobbies are great ways to distract yourself from that nagging insecurity. and it'll get easier the more full your life feels.
check on your city's website if there are community centres near you will some cheap or free workshops and classes. it's nice to have something to look forward to every week. and it'll give you something to talk about when you see your bf.
i guess what i'm saying is, go have some fun on your own. it'll help you realize that your bf's fun without you doesn't lessen how much he cares for you in the same way that you having fun doesn't lessen how much you care for him.
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Aside from good shoes, get a root roller! I had one when I worked in a restaurant, and just bought a new one (linking the exact one I bought)
Also the ball with "spikes" was amazing when I got a knot in my back, I just laid in it and it fixed it
First, I totally agree with the other poster that working with a good therapist to address your abusive upbringing would be hugely benificial to you. They can also provide feedback and help for developing different life skills.
And that's what term you should be using for searching "life skills". Doing that I found loads of books on Amazon (here's an example of one I found) and you will likely be able to find more at your local library. It also may help you to break down the different areas in which you want to focus on: Communication skills (romantic, platonic, working), Home care skills (Organization, cleaning), Personal Care skills (hygiene, skincare, diet, exercise), Financial skills (budgeting, saving, shopping).
38G, get good bras and make sure they fit properly, but you would only make a nominal difference in the appearance of your boobs by working out. Gravity is the biggest influence.
Nike compression shorts. They are a bit expensive but last for YEARS (In my experience).
Nike Womens Pro 3'' Power Compression Short https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071G2NVSH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_tWIgFbFW7J7YP
I highly recommend this book (for you OP and other friends of your friend): "There is no good card for this"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062469991/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_Y7YKCb82AFVCW
I learned from personal experience that life does not prepare us well on how to react in situations where someone we care for goes through something horrible. This book is written by very compassionate and empathetic authors and almost exactly adresses your question. There are so many wrong things to say and this book will help avoid that.
In such a situation I would even consider getting multiple copies and handing them out to the people closest to your friend. I cannot recommend it enough.
You know her better than we do. Remember that every woman is different and what one loves, another might hate.
I think either of your ideas are good. Or you could do a bit of both-buy her a game you think she might like and the kindle.
Or get her this week's Humble Bundle BTA and gift it to her as a random/Thanksgiving gift as it includes two very good car/racing games as well as a truck simulator. If she seems to like it then you can look at buying her some more games for Christmas and if she doesn't care for them, you know what to get her (and you're out less than $7).
Leaving the mattress on the floor can lead to mold growth underneath it. If you're very attached to a minimalist aesthetic, you could go with something like this which just sits under the mattress and lifts it off the floor for air circulation.
Amazon has plenty of simple, affordable, easy-to-assemble frames like this.
I’d recommend having a blanket in addition to your comforter, since it sucks to get cold on the middle of the night.
Cleanliness is important so do laundry often and get a duvet cover for your comforter if you don’t already have one.
Ah, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sure she is very glad to have such a supportive, thoughtful child.
There are lots of options for her!
--Painting classes
--Knitting/sewing classes
--Writing classes (many cities have writing classes--creative writing, memoir, etc.--often offered at colleges but not always. Might be really good for her as I'm sure this is not an easy time for her and writing can be a great way to "unbottle" your feelings)
--Music classes: piano, violin, clarinet, flute. Most instruments do not require lower-body mobility
Also, just an fyi in case she gets bored at home but also doesn't feel up to going out--a lot of colleges offer free online classes. Institutions like The Smithsonian also allow volunteers to help transcribe records via computer.
A lot of women experience increased arousal during ovulation. This is totally normal. I'd suggest masturbation to take the edge off.
You may want to schedule some time with a therapist to discuss the other feelings you're having. You can talk to someone online at 7 cups if seeing someone is too daunting right now.
I found a few things that might be helpful.
Here is an article I think you will be able to relate to about how infidelity affects children...
Any weapon you carry can be used against you! I got this taser from Amazon after that, if the wrist strap gets disconnect it doesn't work, so you don't have to worry about someone taking it out of your hands. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FR41HKU?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
As a mom of 4 daughters, and my youngest are 10, 12 and 13....I can tell you the book by American Girl called "The Care and Keep of You" is absolutely amazing!!
it covers everything!! Everything a young girl needs to know and it doesn't just cover how to take care of her body or what to expect with body changes, but it covers social issues too.
All 4 of my daughters used that book and I can't recommend it enough. You can get it on Amazon here:
I'd recommend picking up this book, The Care and Keeping of You, giving it to her to keep at your place. This can help be a resource for her to check in on stuff if she's the type who may not want to openly talk about everything. When you give it to her tell her you were recommended it by some other women who found it really helpful. Then add that you are there for her if she has any other questions, that you'll try to keep the bathroom stocked with period products and that you want her to let you know if she finds anything she prefers because you want to make sure she has it available.
This is literally the best book ever. I had it since I was around 9 and it was so informative and has great info!
Edit: $8 on Amazon with prime shipping too! link to book
That theme is cute and fun. The best recommendation i can make for a kid room is ditch the toybox. Go for a shelf with bins instead. After much trial and error i found wire rack shelves ( i find them on Amazon for between 40 and 60 dollars) to be the best bet. They are indestructible and grow with me customizable. I paint them and use cute bins to soften the look. My kids have their toys easily at hand with bonus book storage. I'm g to try to link but I'm on mobile. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01AZ5F1QM/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_6?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A3MXV3BRX5P67N
I've never ordered from there, but as a heads up, the same dress from them is on amazon with free shipping. Link
I tend to prefer to order online via Amazon with Prime so if it does suck, free returns.
You can see if she’s interested in Preggie Pop Drops. They’re available on Amazon and I know Walmart has them. Also ginger - but not in high doses. I hope she gets better during her second trimester! Congratulations! Amazon Pop Drop
The brand I use is called Teamoy. But I just searched for 'fabric panty liners' on Amazon and picked up the cutest, lmao. Here's a link to the ones I bought (from amazon.ca)
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07H57YTFB/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_I4NADb454EJMS
I haven't used the Diva specifically, but I've used Lunette, and this generic one. The lunette is definitely a little nicer/softer material, but if you just want to try the concept, the cheap one might be a good entry point.
I LOVE THEM. I can't feel that it's in. On heavy days I may have to change it 3 times, but most of the time I change it once in the morning and once in the evening, and the other 23.75 hrs/day, its like I don't have a period.
It definitely took an adjustment period (hah) of 2-3 cycles for me to get used to the "ick factor". There was an adjustment of "holy shit look at all that coming out of me", and of getting ungrossed out by the process of inserting, removing, cleaning, etc.
But now? I can't imagine ever going back to pads or tampons, and tbh the idea of keeping used menstrual products just sitting in my trash now seems WAY grosser than emptying my cup and flushing away the content.
I met a lot of women as an adult from meetup.com groups.
It's nice as all of my friends are married with kids and the conversation is just not there anymore. My issues in life seem very trivial to them. I met professional like-minded women from meetup.com and from there we started going out and doing fun stuff like museums, dinners, brunches, etc
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-tract-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20353447
Urinary tract infection. Women are at greater risk because of how ours sits and bumping uglies can cause bacteria etc to go into it. By peeing after you help to flush that out.
Also do your research when buying condoms. Hex condoms for example can have hard to detect holes and Trojan fire and ice was causing vaginal lesions and was capable of stripping nail polish (I say was cause I found that out a few years ago and haven’t look into if they have changed anything) Flavored condoms are for oral only Basically some condoms and lubes can cause irritation or yeast infections
It's a tough place to be. You and her. I think if you want to support your friend, you can be clear re your position re her bf but continue to remain involved. I say the latter because she will need people who truly care about her to get out. She isn't ready yet but when she is, she will need you even more. Also, this book is powerful in explaining what's going on and how to help: https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that-pdf If you can get your friend to read it, even better.
Lastly, leaving him will be the most dangerous thing she can do. He's already violent. Too many women are killed by their partners on a DAILY basis. She will need alot of help to get out.
Shame and embarrassment about your appearance may keep you from seeking treatment for body dysmorphic disorder. But if you have any signs or symptoms, see your health care provider or a mental health professional.
Tough love is literally the worst way to go about this.
Try meetup.com. There are usually tons of women's groups for looking to make female friends. Or try doing a new activity that you think you'd enjoy, rock-climbing, cooking, or even better pick up a team sport. Women's rugby is ridiculously welcoming and friendly, same goes for touch rugby which is mixed in case you're not up for a contact sport. I have had a really tough time in the past making new friends as an adult because I have relocated every few years. Team sports or events are the way to go IMO. Also, networking events at work if there are any. I met some great people at those.
I’d look into the Mirena IUD instead of taking BC pill long-term.... I had a mini-stroke associated long-term use of the pill, which had me looking for alternatives. Of course, Mayo Clinic says acne is a side-effect, so it appears there really isn't any wonder method for contraceptives. Good luck!
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/mirena/about/pac-20391354?p=1
Its not elitist at all. The health of your mouth can effect your overall health. And its never really too late to start seeing a dentist regularly. I missed about 5 or 6 years of dental care and when I finally went back I had some gum pockets and a little bone loss (in my mid 20s). It took a couple of years of regular cleanings and a few trips to the periodontist but my teeth and gums are about as healthy and as normal as you can get now.
Aww I’m sorry you feel that way 💕 you definitely aren’t letting him down! You don’t need that added pressure on yourself 😊
I have actually only slept with a handful of people, with one serious relationship. He was my first partner (at 24) and I unfortunately would fake it - I think he suspected and I definitely did myself a disservice! I wouldn’t do that now, but the last few guys were just flings so it didn’t seem worth it to get into it.
And yes, I am most definitely and anxious and stressed person! I definitely think it’s connected, but it’s hard because you’re starting off with a baseline of anxiety, and add on anxiety about sex on top of that is a double whammy.
The sex therapist I emailed with thought that was linked too and suggested meditation. (I use headspace - here’s a blog post from them I found interesting https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/05/26/enjoy-sex-more/)
Someone who cannot harm you cannot be "intimidating". Someone who cannot harm you cannot make you feel fear.
You can whine about "approach anxiety" all you want. Doesn't make your "fear" of someone refusing sex any more reasonable.
Find one thing to do each week after work in the city and one in the burbs. It can be a class, art exhibit, movie in the park, dance lessons, sport, etc. Check out meetup.com and pick something. It can be hard to put yourself out there. You're not always going to feel comfortable. But the times it does click makes it worth it.
Yeah I think you need to end this and quick.
Here’s a book on Gaslighting that’s really helpful and easy to understand! I wish you the best 🙏🏻(link)
Do not let him talk you into coming back. It doesn’t matter if he says he’s change. Stay away! Yes there will be times you want to message them but do not!
I actually ended up using an old bamboo silverware storage tray thing that I had an extra one of after moving and it works out great. Looks like this and I use the slots for different hair things (elastics, scrunchies, headbands, barrettes, etc.)
Frequent graduation gifts are things that would be useful in your upcoming career. So like business types/lawyers often get a nice briefcase. You mention a uniform, so that's not likely necessary for your job, but perhaps a bag that you would use everyday to take to work. I have a nice quality, but somewhat professional looking backpack that I use when I go into work to carry my food for the day and other necessities for my commute. Something like this one. It's nicer than what I used in college, so was a bit of a splurge. Watches are another frequent graduation gift. If you don't have a smart watch, that might be a nice splurge. At an office job the reminders to stand up from your desk can be very handy.
I found a phone case that is also a wallet. The back slides down and you can store your license and bus pass in there. No one would even see Sorry for the format. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B08XP85M8Z/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VCSTFDV53V6762XPJX4M?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I saw the App "Love Nudge" on the official 5 love languages website and recommended it to a friend whom had a similar situation with their partner. They told me after a few months, that it really really helped. You might wanna check it out? It shall help with reminding each other to do specific things in the love language of the partner and allows for very specific requests and shows each other a "love tank" of the partner, etc.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.grootersproductions.challenge
Here’s the link! Again, not far enough along to give a full on endorsement of my own, but so far it has done well.
IPL Hair Removal for Women and Men,999,000 Flashes Auto Manual Modes 5 Energy Level Home Use Permanent Hair Removal Painless Hair Remover Device for Facial and Whole Body https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D8V9WFH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_aCw7FbGP6TX2P?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Sorry I meant to include the link with my last post. These are the ones I got.
Solar Lights Outdoor, [6 Pack/3 Modes/50LED] SEZAC Motion Sensor Security Lights Solar Security Lights IP 65 Wireless Waterproof Outdoor Lights for Garden Patio Yard Deck Garage Fence Pool https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B083DPH2MJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabt1_R8cRFb2BDKDVA?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Ok, when I was a kid, my mum bought me a book that we saw at a market stall. I saw it and wanted it. I still have it! It was my bible and I will pass it down to my daughter :-) it’s called The Period Book: Everything you don’t want to know, but need to know.
Here’s a link to it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Period-Book-Everything-dont-want/dp/0749917059
Edit: you can get an up to date version here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/161963662X/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=RRJS56S9K1SWXWX4DWKB&dpPl=1&dpID=41zNNl9PrxL
To prevent it: deodorant or cute lace things you can get on Amazon. Search lace chafe protectors and they should come up
To soothe it: I personally like oatmeal baths.
ETA: Bandelettes Elastic Anti-Chafing Thigh Bands - Prevent Thigh Chafing - Dolce Black, Size C https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071P8MLQH/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_bEHvBbRAH87SB
I'm reminded of Martin Pistorius here. He was trapped in his own body for years, abused, and finally made it known to the world that he was still a conscious, thinking human.
In his book "Ghost Boy", he describes meeting his wife. Unlike other people who would get frustrated by his slow manner of speaking, she listened patiently and didn't try to finish his sentences. Unlike other people who made decisions for him based on his lack of experience in the world, she waited patiently for him to make decisions, then respected those choices. Their love story touches my heart, and it might help you find some hope. Ghost Boy on Amazon.
As far as I'm concerned, being married to my husband now... we've discussed what would happen if either one of us were paralyzed. It's not even a question; we're both in it for the long haul. I'd happily wipe his ass, help him in and out of bed, get dressed, change colostomy bags and catheters, do anything and everything for him.
The right woman for you is the one who sees everything you are, paralysis included, and loves you. She's a rare one, but she's there. Keep looking.
I like the Schick Intuition razor, the built-in moisturizer bar works well for me. It is on the expensive side of razors though.
(Edited to remove link fail, here’s a link on Amazon.)
I found this on Amazon
Online! I don’t know if the Canadian version of Amazon has a PattyBoutik shop, but I feel like they always have an excess 2” of sleeve for me.
I love the Avidlove stuff on Amazon because it ranges from “oh those are hot pajamas” to full on themed lingerie. Get something that makes you feel sexy and it’ll go over great with him.
I'm a DD and I buy these Fruit of the Loom unlined bras from Amazon- 2 for ~$13. They are comfortable, and doesn't make your boobs look even bigger with that padding other bras have (I don't want the look of bigger boobs than my already DD size, personally). I still have a barely lined VS bra, but for work and casual activities I wear these light cotton ones. I get enough support from them!
Great advice in this thread for sure... I just came to add some recommended reading: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.
edited to include a link https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended/dp/0062407805
I have the Apple Magic Keyboard - Numeric and the external trackpad, this has improved my life a lot instead of using the tiny keyboard on the MacBook itself or the one you mentioned in your post. Not sure if it'll be handy for typing your novel but it's worth having a look.
Good luck with your novel, would love to hear what it's about in some updates after you find your perfect keyboard :)
I bought a pair of these from Amazon a few years back. After my work from home stint ended on Memorial Day I decided I was never wearing pants to the office again so now I wear dresses and these five days a week. I live in swampy disgusting SC and they are breathable and flexible, I usually don’t even feel like I have them on.
Vassarette Women's Comfortably Smooth Slip Short Panty 12674 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N3SYCXY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_RTUgFb8QHM5BF
Those are to purchase through Amazon/audible.
I was able to check out the audio books for free from my public library using the Overdrive app. Libby app works too.
I have two things.
1) Personally I find oral sex to be way more intimate than PIV, and have only ever done it with partners after we had gotten used to each other sexually. It is a very vulnerable position, with one person giving and one receiving. Which leave me to my next point
2) I have always had a very good sex life with my boyfriend of 6 years, and it still took us a year to figure out how to make it comfortable when he went down on me. It was a mix of me being uncomfortable (how long was it since I last showered? Am I making him stay down there too long? Should I do something? Damn, is he fine with still being down there??) which made me not really enjoy it, and turned me off, and of him not being quite sure how to approach it. Part of the problem might have been that I felt like I didn't quite deserve it/I was so used to always give as well - that's both a mindset you could work with on your own, and something you should work on together.
The other part would be working together on making him comfortable with you. Like, what the hell does he mean by being 'a lil weird down there'? You need to discuss this. You need to feel cool in your body, and comments like that does not help. Do some exploring together. Do some on your own with a mirror, so you can explain to him clearly where to touch to help you feel good. Read some books together, like this one
Therapy for sure, and also community. Check out Nora McInerny's podcast "Terrible, thanks for asking" interviewing people who have been through awful things and their grief, and read her book about her husband and dad dying of cancer and her having a miscarriage in a six week span (among other things) : https://www.amazon.com/Its-Okay-Laugh-Crying-Cool/dp/0062419382 and she just put another book out today. It helps to hear/read that you're not alone in your grief.
Something like a vibrating penis ring that can bring you both pleasure might be less intimidating for her. Pick up some massage oil to help her relax. Keep it fun and playful. You'll get there. :)
let me show you something that changed my life and hair forever. this John Frieda Hair Brush product is the perfect way to merge the round brush with a hair dryer, and the best part is that it doesn’t damage your hair! I still use it with a blow dry heat protectant to make my hair shiny and smooth after it’s dry, but my hair used to be so awful and frizzy (I have very curly hair) and now it’s smooth with a slight natural curl to it. The best part is that I don’t have to use a straightener and damage my hair with the hot iron. It would make my hair sooo dry and brittle. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone.
This is going to sound really superficial, because self-help books ARE superficial; but this isn't a self-help book. Read Waking Up by Sam Harris. He offers a different way of looking at yourself and others. And I have no idea if I would date you or not, haven't met you. One depression-induced post on reddit probably doesn't define you
edit: ok, i fell for it again. I am a man, and i didnt look up the sub I am writing on... once again.
My teacher always said: "You dont have to know it [by yourself], but you have to know where to look it up." [we were allowed to have a math-formula-book at tests]
and, I recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Nearly-Everything/dp/076790818X
I ate it up while at a long train ride. it is a very good explanation about nearly everything science. it was well written and interesting :) Good basis to find out, which topics you want to research more.
DO stuff. If you do stuff, you learn stuff. I like to paint. I need to find out, which brushes work, what paints, what techniques. it is all private research and testing stuff out, that makes me feel proud about my achievements.
Interim fix: Tens unit I used this baby on my Hell Days and it kept me functional. Not great, but I didn't want to die either. Just put the little sticky pads where it hurts and play around with the settings. My personal favorite was Tap on 3 or 4.
Long-term: push your doctor to do a laparoscopic (sic?) surgery for endometriosis. I had surgery 2 years ago and it changed my life, no joke. If you're in the PDX/Vancouver area, Dr. Cynthia McNally is aces. 1000/10 recommend.
If you're not ready for wax but can't shave, try a trimmer: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SMIIR0W?ref=nb_sb_ss_w_as-reorder-t1_ypp_rep_k0_1_10&amp=&crid=345EJ9NN1M4FW&amp=&sprefix=bikini+tri
No razor burn and your lady garden is neat and tidy!
If she cares about changing the situation (which it doesn't really sound like she is, but hey, it's possible), read this book together: https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/B08CPVQT5M/
I'm sorry to be a jerk here, I hope you can listen to your friend and just be there for her... however, my issue is your use of the word abort.
The word abort means to stop.
Your friend had to abort a pregnancy or your friend had an abortion.
The phrasing of "a friend had to abort" is incomplete without the noun.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/abort
If having strong, defined abs is important to you, straying from vaginal delivery is about the worst you can do since a C section cuts through the muscles themselves, and you should be aware of the very real possibility of long term or permanent damage.
As others have said, get a bunk bed. I would like to add, get a bed tent for the top bunk and give yourself a little more privacy. Just make sure you get one that's short enough to fit on a bunk.
I use these thin razors that are designed as brow razors , i have really sensitive skin and I've never broken out after using them. They look like this
Don’t let society tell you this is normal or something you need to deal with as a woman, because it is NOT.
My male fiancé and I have been together 6 years. We split cooking, dishes, laundry and routine cleaning. He tends to take out the trash/recycling/ compost more, feeds the pets, and cleans our cat litter box. Sometimes, I will ask if he can help with X or Y, but he mostly does all this stuff unprompted. Men are capable of doing and learning these things. I’m not going to “assign” chores or make a chore wheel like a mother/child relationship. We are partners in a partnership, which means carrying our weight and contributing. Assigning tasks and following up is just extra work placed on women.
Now, maybe he doesn’t know the extent of what you do or maybe you have higher cleaning standards than him. (I did have to “lower” my standards a bit and understand he may not do things 100% like I do.) But it sounds like it’s pretty basic cooking/ cleaning you are talking about.
My partner and I did a book called “The Hard Questions” before we got engaged. It’s questions split into sections, so there’s some about fiancés/money, family, household stuff etc. May be a good starting point to making sure you are on the same page.
https://www.amazon.com/Hard-Questions-100-Essential-Before/dp/1585426210
I linked this one in another post
I use hair clippers to trim. You can use the guards to make it as long or short as you want.
The fine tooth combs are handy for fluffing hair out so it can be trimmed easily. I put down a towel in the bathroom floor for the hair to land on. (Be sure to shake out the towel before washing, or there will be hair all on your clothes in that load.)
Be sure to oil the blades after each use. There will be instructions about that and how to use the guards.
Several years ago I was in a long-term relationship with a guy who liked to do it for me. I would lie in bed on a towel to catch the hair. It was very convenient and he did a good job but it certainly takes a high level of comfort with someone. It didn't make up for his other issues, though... :D
These cameras are only $35. You can set them up on your smart phone and stick an SD card in them to record 24/7 if you want.
My therapist recommended I read this book, https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Inspirational-Readings-Encouragement-Meditations/dp/B0B68381KQ/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658105562&sr=8-2 It was incredible.
I get a little mustache too and I shave it every couple days using this thing: https:// www.amazon.com/Painless-Rechargeable-Replacement-Included-Electric/dp/B095KBSPY4 it is so easy and fast and painless, I would recommend it before trying something like laser. Takes 30 seconds, no shaving cream needed or anything.
I actually had the same question as a young adult. I read a book by "Miss Manners." She is OTT, but it helped to know the definitive answer so that if I chose to be casual, I was choosing to be casual...and if I wanted to dine with the queen, I could dine with the queen and not drink from the finger bowl. Some of the suggestions are pretty funny, and others are anachronistic. https://www.amazon.com/Manners-Excruciatingly-Correct-Behavior-Freshly-ebook/dp/B004LP1Z9U/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1655259848&sr=8-1
Oh I've been there. You're very kind to care. You could get her a Blind Spot Mirror. Just leave it on her desk (maybe with the below) if you don't want to give her advice/this stuff directly. Then you don't have to talk about it at all.
>This is a Blind Spot Mirror. If you stick it to your monitor, you can angle it to see who's behind you. Hope you have a great calm week! :)
this stuff gets out everything. It's a pre-treater. Resolve Oxi-Action Dual Power Laundry Stain Remover Pre-Treater
One side is like oxiclean for grass stains and oils, the other side is for protein stains like blood.
I am also large chested and found a couple on Amazon that work great for me
Yomoko Women's Plus Size High... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D9JLYH5?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Daci Plus Size One Piece Swimsuit... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VWMXVQT?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Rechargeable Personal Massager - Quiet & Waterproof - 20 Patterns & 8 Speeds - Travel Bag Included - Men & Women - Perfect for Tension Relief, Muscle, Back, Soreness, Recovery - Hot Pink https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YVQC4DR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_D9EY9DRSRKZD9Z4PC57F?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Something like this is inexpensive and works like a charm
I got these ones from Amazon. I always had issues where they didn't fit either or would break. Ive had them since last July and they're still going strong!
8 Color Large Matte Hair Claw... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08TW8LZYN?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share