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>Earlier I was planning on starting college so that I could make some friends closer to my maturity level and possibly even a girl friend, but after speaking to other college students online, they told me that it would look creepy (especially since I've always looked older than my age)
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WTF kind of drugs are your friends on? Go to a community college. The students there are rarely 18 and rarely going to be "creeped out" by someone older. You're only 25. Many people your age are working on their masters, and are still in school. Even entering college students are often 19. You're not "ancient" even if you look older.
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Conversation is hard for many people, even if they went to school. For most people it's the opposite reason--they are only used to talking to people their age and they can't relate to people older or younger. College Humor has many videos about this. It's so typical to have a hard time with this that there are "adulting" classes and "adulting" clubs all over. Meetup.com has some great resources for finding people who are likeminded and developing your interests.
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Many people have only ever been to chain restaurants. Kids from poor families often never ate anything besides takeout and fast food. They couldn't afford college....and so they put themselves through community college. Only 69% of people have ever entered college and only 35% have graduated. You're in good company.
To anyone dealing with parents like this, I recommend this book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
It helped me recognize all the different behaviors that are related and validated to me that I wasn't crazy thinking their behavior was harmful. It also has some advice about how to protect yourself and maintain (or not) a relationship with someone like that.
Just remember to try not to beat yourself up about what you don't know. There are people out there who had all the opportunities of good schools and parents who'd pay their way through college and still come out the other side ignorant as shit. Heck, a lot of those happy home-schoolers are so pleased because they have no idea what they don't know. (Trust me, I was one of those before life slapped me in the face a couple of times.)
You know you have deficiencies in you education and are actively trying to remedy them. Keep it up and never stop learning. You'll do great!
By the way, for a painless way to fill in the gaps in your education once you're out of college, try listening to audiobooks while you're driving or doing chores. If you have an Audible account, there are a bunch of short items from the (Great Courses)[https://www.audible.com/search?keywords=great+courses&ref=a_hp_t1_header_search] library available for free and the full lecture series (12-30 hours of content) are 1 credit. They're lecture-style series on a variety of subjects and I've learned so much from them.
You're on the right track. You might want to look at meetup.com to look at local "adult" events that are attractive to you.
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You might also want to see what kind of "adulting" things are offered in your community. Many people feel stunted by our current society. In Freshman orentation, we actually dedicate time to things like doing laundry, how to properly clean your bathroom caddy, etc. Because only 60% of students wind up in college many of these things are now offered at a community level. Many of these classes cover things like smart grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, basic "stuff" repair like sewing and when to use WD-40 and when to use something else.
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While you may be socially behind, seeking out knowledge is the best way to catch up, and there are hundreds of thousands of kids whose well-meaning parents sheltered them
I understand about politics and social perspectives being the "safe" topic of conversation with your parents! I thought I was the only one!
I'm so sorry that your mom threatened you when you considered moving out. That is absolutely abusive behavior. You are not responsible for her response to your decisions. She is an adult (so are you!). She is responsible for her own behavior. It might be helpful to read the book Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud if you haven't before; it explains things much better than I can.
It sounds like you have great self-awareness! I see what you mean about getting preoccupied with other people's problems, it can be unhelpful to both parties. I would recommend volunteering somewhere, which will provide you with some purpose and fulfillment, as well as help others who need it. It's also great for resumes and amazing for making friends. Most of my closest friends are people I met through volunteering at an animal rights organization, which is something else that gives me purpose.
It seems like you might be interested in the field of positive psychology. It was developed when a psychologist wanted to address the problem that, historically, psychology has focused on reducing pain and illness rather than increasing happiness. They've done a ton of research on human well-being since then, and many of the concepts are easy to apply to your own life.
If that sounds interesting, I recommend this free online class from Yale, as well as this book written by one of the founders of the field. The book is more about the history and basics of the field, whereas the Yale class provides tons of strategies to apply to your life. I took the class with some friends at the beginning of the pandemic, and ironically it was one of the happiest times of my life. I still use the tactics today - it's a really rewarding topic to learn about. Helping people and finding meaning are proven to be main tenants of well-being, so you're already getting started.
I’d keep contacting CPS if I were you. If that doesn’t work, your local at risk youth resources.
In the meantime Kahn Academy is your friend. Plan your escape to a Community College next school year. They will take you at 17. The CC will take you in and will help you with housing/employment.
Side note: if she places a firewall up which blocks Reddit or Academic resources use Tor or ProtonVPN both are free. Be sure to hide the start shortcut/exe deep in user files.
If academics and healthy living is “rebellion”, you need to become an insurgent. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you can see everyone on this sub and know there’s a better life in your future.
Academically, I would say youtube is your best bet for teaching yourself, watch the videos over and over again and keep searching for videos that make sense to you until you find the ones that do. You could also ask your mom to look for different curriculums that might fit your learning style best? And for specific questions r/math and r/learnmath can help!
I'd also suggest doing a deep dive into geography and culture, once you are older travel can really help break you out of your shell and meet a variety of people where you can build and practice a lot of those social skills.
I agree with the other comment about clubs, meetup.com might be a good resource, maybe you could even find a science club to help you with stuff there? Kill two birds with one stone, social and academic.
Another option for learning social skills is reading books, now, nothing really replaces face to face interactions and practice, but books can give you a lot of things to think about and can help give you a jumpstart in communicating and reading people.
I'm sorry you are in this situation! Things will get better eventually.
I looked him up and found this: https://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Hell-Afterlife-Bart-Ehrman/dp/1501136739?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=ccdc8aee-608e-40cf-8426-c1b52e56df9a
And it looks like a really good read, I might have to see if the library has it
Dead serious: If you have the patience for it, check out Algebra I for Dummies on Amazon. I went from being unable to doing math to surviving my first year in a graduate-level STEM program in two years, and I started with that book. A disconcerting amount of upper-level math is just algebra but fancier, and often with some Greek letters for flavor (which can be weirdly demoralizing once you actually get what you're doing and understand how simple it all is and how much you psyched yourself out before learning it).
Aside from that, yes, check out YouTube tutorials. The trick is really to find what actually works for you. I gravitated towards text because it was easier to focus on and revisit and just plain make sense of, and the author does a fantastic job of not wasting time or overcomplicating things.
Also: Don't worry if you don't understand all of every kind of math. Focus on getting the extreme basics down and then focus on whatever specific type of math you actually like. In the real world (and in a lot of university settings), you'll have calculators and software programs to handle the rest.
Also, also: It helps to think of it as grammar. You don't make unfixable errors in math. You make typos. Just like you can backspace and fix a spelling error, you can backspace and fix a math error.
Trust your mentor. Excellent advice until you truly come to grips with your issues. When I was in my 20s I married someone who behaved the way I expected in a relationship, which was self-centered, controlling, angry, violent. Did not end well.
A lot of people on this list (including me) found a lot of great explanations about this phenomenon in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703
Same. Get this book. I promise you things will start making a whole lotta sense. It was a life-changing read for me.
Also, Patrick Teahan on YouTube is an incredible resource.
Kahn is free.
Study skills are misunderstood by virtually everyone. Coursera's Learning How to Learn is excellent.
Meetup.com has groups dedicated to adulting that are open to everyone.
That's quite a contortion! But it's never too late to train yourself to grip properly. It's a long term investment that will be painful now but will help you in school and the rest of your life. They even have gadgets to help: https://www.amazon.com/DMFLY-Handwriting-Correction-Preschoolers-Ventilation/dp/B07PDKJQX1
I think this is the latest one someone made, but I can't tell you how active it is because I'm not in it. The original one doesn't exist anymore.
edit: there's also this facebook group
Does the kid like being read to? Do you think there's something he'd like having read to him? Not to conflate the psychology of four year-old me with a seven year-old but I distinctly remember wanting to know what was on the pages of my picture books. Plus he's old enough to have some idea of what he likes. It doesn't matter if it has to be religious or you hate it, sometimes the point is just having the child follow a narrative with you.
My parents made a lot of mistakes but they did really well with teaching my brother and I to read at home. We had nightly sessions of being read to and lessons out of this book. I don't know how often you are given time with the kids.
I actually loved the "Little House" books when I was a kid and highly recommend the annotated first draft of Laura's life story.
The footnotes expanding on the historical records about what people were really like is amazing. Things definitely weren't that rosy little world of independent family togetherness. I don't remember the much about the drinking but Pa was definitely more than a bit of a grifter and the loss of little Freddie apparently broke Ma.
This one seems like the most relevant to your needs:
Another thing you could look into is an online tutor, if you're willing to spend a little time and money on studying before you take the test again. But that would take more time, and you'd have to find someone that doesn't suck. :-/
I love Khan academy, but your brain processes things differently if you type it as opposed to hand writing it. I’ve had a lot more success mixing Khan academy with a common core reteaching workbook. They’re cheap on eBay and amazon.
Does your library offer free tutoring? Some libraries offer a ton of resources.
Can you take a math class at a community college? Sometimes in-person instruction is easier to understand. They’ll have remedial math; you won’t be the only one trying to learn it at your age or older.
Don’t give up on yourself. You’re worth it.