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Open an account for you. Without obviously divulging your life, write what matters to you, what you have learnt, mistakes you have made so kinda like a journal yeah, but obviously it is public.

OR

Check out Marcus Aurelius' work. Dude did basically the same thing.

I'd also recommend Lives of the Stoics if you enjoy history and philosophy. I'm reading it myself at the moment, I think there is a lot there to help anyone without it being 'self help'.

BTW - I don't agree with your premise - you need SM to meet people, but I understand what you are saying with COVID and all, and applaud your bravery for writing this post.

HMU if you ever want to talk, I'm in the UK so there may be a time difference. Always happy to listen.

Good luck to you matey, stay safe :)

>disagreement is not bullying

In fact, there is a whole book on the topic: https://www.amazon.com/Conflict-Not-Abuse-Overstating-Responsibility/dp/1551526433

It's easier to fool a man than to convince him he has been fooled. You cant logic with an emotional position, all you do is make them more defensive and hostile towards you.

Read How to have impossible conversations and learn how to challenge someone in a safe and non confrontational way.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Have-Impossible-Conversations-Practical/dp/0738285323

I got this timed locking container and like it a lot. Easy to use. Don't think of blocking/locking tools as extreme measures. They're practical assistance in reprogramming your brain.

https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/The-%27eyes%27-have-it%3A-how-males-and-females-look-at-Zubcevic-Luxton/7e191fa7a146defd7d948f3dec63dad3f04a6fd8 This one is about eye tracking, and it seems that arms are something that can be attractive to a woman. I know it’s more general than the specific wrists

Hahahaha right "that has an agenda" literally what are you on about? First off, it isn't just Tinder, it's a bunch of dating apps like OkCupid, Match.com etc put together that all give similar data. OkCupid actually took their data down after releasing it, what would be their "agenda"? Looks are not as subjective as you say, there's science behind why people find certain features more attractive. That's why "x" celebrity is known for being attractive or "x" celebrity is known for being unattractive. If you honestly think looks are entirely subjective, you are utterly delusional.

>how do I get rid of the blackpill from my mind

The blackpill isn't as much of the problem. Being angry when you see a Stacy w/ a Chad is the problem. I consider myself extremely blackpilled and I never in my life felt anger seeing a hot dude with a hot girl. You need to ask yourself why do you feel anger because it is absolutely silly.

>I subconsciously rate women

Might get downvoted for this but rating people is somewhat normal. People do it all the time, subconsciously or not. That's why RateMe has 160k subscribers. Whoever says that they're not doing it is lyin'. As long as your rating doesn't affect how you treat these people, you should be fine. I treat people both ugly & hot in the same equal manner.

>when quarentine is over I want to be a completely new man

Don't bother. Give up on what you want here. I say it so harshly because I want to knock sense into you: you can't be a completely new man by the time quarantine ends. You CAN be one in a few years, tho.. if you try. Wanting to do all of this shit so fast will just make you depressed.

>and I want to make big changes in my life (self improvement, less internet, fix social unawareness etc.)

You wanting to do something is irrelevant if you don't do it. Do it, start now when you're young and don't stop. Want my advice? Download Cold Turkey & block porn + Incel communities forever. Then, block other stuff for a specific amount of time per day. It helps a lot. I also have NF's Panic Button to redirect me from NSFW subreddits. I've been using these for a week and already it is helping my mental sooo much.

https://getcoldturkey.com/

NoFap - Panic Button (for NSFW communities)

Therapy is super expensive even if you're not a student. Depends what country you're in but they basically teach you CBT and DBT anyway. You can find a lot of that in books and youtube for free if you know what to look for. CBT is more about trying to have a more blanaced way of thinking. DBT is a bit more behavior related. It teaches you to interact with other people in a way which will avoid toxic relationships, people walking all over you, things like that. It also helps with some of the physical symptoms you get with depression and anxiety. It will help you to get you out of that state quicker I guess.

https://www.amazon.com.au/Change-Thinking-Third-Sarah-Edelman/dp/0733332242/ref=asc_df_0733332242/?tag=googleshopmob-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=341792156591&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8491055254583990285&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvq...

I have intrusive thoughts too. The only thing that worked for me is CBT and mindfulness. If therapy isn’t available I suggest looking into purchasing a CBT workbook and being diligent about doing it. This one is a good option: Retrain Your Brain

When you start retraining your brain, things get easier. The constant analysis, anxiety, and frustration lessens. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, but CBT can help! Lots of people here have done CBT and are happier for it.

My first and most important recommendation is to learn how to make friends, and then start making and expanding your circles of friends.

I get the feeling in your case that this isn't going to be as easy as it sounds and will take time (think years but not decades) to do right. You're not trash, you're a good person with a lot of emotional tangles to unwind. Lots of people are in the same position as you.

So in your case, I'd strongly suggest that you start with therapy to unwind your negative self-talk. BetterHelp might be just what you need. It's not cheap but financial help is available.

Take regular walks to help you relieve stress and build up your brain's ability to heal. Take up a hobby that you've always wanted to try (model rocketry? karate? learning Mandarin?) - again, to help you relieve stress and build up your brain's ability to heal.

I'd also suggest boning up on body language to help you relate to people better. I usually recommend What Every Body is Saying followed by The Dictionary of Body Language.

Good luck OP. This isn't going to be easy but I'm confident you can do it.

Hey man, I'm 28. In the last year I've gotten a lot of time to reflect, read and grow. I highly recommend two books that have helped me out a lot with your exact problem:

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover

Seriously, I have an otherwise awesome life (career, money, family, friends, etc) but my mental model of the world made me miserable and it prevented me from escalating with women - at all - these books really helped me after reading them slowly and integrating them into my life.

International dating is generally regarded far more positively in the academic press than in the article you cited. Check out Professor Marica Zug's detailed investigation published by NYU Press. Zug started out hating the entire concept.

Or read Dr. Julia Meszaros' dissertation. I believe she did six years of research.

What you should do is try searching "narrative therapy + your nearest city" and "narrative therapy + zoom/online therapist" and see what that turns up.

Here is a workbook you could work on at home https://www.amazon.com/Retelling-Stories-Our-Lives-Inspiration/dp/0393708152

Hello! Can't really talk about "socialmaxxing" But i'm using this app instead of going to the gym rn

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.popularapp.sevenmins

You only need a chair and a mat (i used a folded towel since i don't own one) to do all the excercises

Sorry but I don't believe you have much control over what does and doesn't make you happy.

I really, really, REALLY, from the bottom of my heart, recommend you to read Sam Harris's book "Waking up", about spirituality without religion. It turns out that you can control a lot about your feeling. Not everything, sure... But there is a lot that can be done:

https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Up-Spirituality-Religion-Paperback/dp/B071KS539G/ref=pd_lpo_14_t_1/136-6339316-8769763?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B071KS539G&pd_rd_r=cd4c7f9c-fa05-47ec-abf8-40c1cd25d9f1&pd_rd_w=mimPc&pd_rd_wg=pDicn&pf_rd_p=7b36d496-f366-4631-94d3-61b87b52511b&pf_rd_r=MGCMD9WK5MDP449P5HTS&psc=1&refRID=MGCMD9WK5MDP449P5HTS

Fasting and self-control make me happy. Catching a wave a surf make me happy. Certain foods make me very, very happy. Learning, art and other human activities make a lot of people happy.

"If at night you cry for the sun, your tears will not allow you to see the stars".

You can choose to focus on the one part of your life where you are lacking, and be, therefore, unhappy about it. That is your choice.

You can also try to focus on every other area of your life where you can find a little smidge of happiness and fortify them, strengthen them, work on them and optimize them. The choice is up to you. I cannot promise this would be 100% fulfilling, but one thing I can promise: this would depend 100% on you.