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I was just going to edit my comment to emphasise, don't take psych drugs, especially as the brain is still developing until you're 25. Check out /r/antipsychiatry

Also, yes, parents can get overwhelmed with stress. But the majority of parents feel like that, quite a lot. IT IS STILL NO EXCUSE for their abusive behaviour whatsoever.

What it could be, is /r/raisedbynarcissists and/or /r/raisedbyborderlines

I have another resource - George Simon states that "character disturbed" people think differently to most people. They are very rarely rehabilitatable.

Link in how to deal with these types of people, written by George Simon. This is a short read and I promise you it is well worth it.

Making excuses for them such as "my parents love me, they just don't know how to raise a kid properly" is actually perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Traditional psychology is designed to help typical "neurotic" people (ie: meaning they are emotionally sensitive/receptive because of empathy)

Character disturbed people, at some point, broke away from their empathy.

So the only solution is not to engage with them, or not be responsive to their abuse as to not give them "supply". And as a last resort, call them out in a major way to try and inflict a sense of shame/guilt (but rarely works, because their "false self" is resistant to this)

I've given you quite a lot of info, but the above is all very condensed information, it is likely all you will need to recover. Take your time (a few days or a week to digest the info)

Have you ever done surveys online? Not tryna be an ad lol, but I use swagbucks and the app very dice like you cant make much from it but hey its money.

Are you sure they make the financing of your studies conditional on you living with them? Maybe they would be in favour of you having a studio on campus, to learn to be independent or to live your life as a student?

If, as you imply, they are financing your studies is linked to the fact that you live at their house and are on good terms with them... stay at their place. Studying to be financially independent is what will allow you to be totally free in the long run.

I think you will get used to the toxic environment again. Habits return quickly. But before you do this to yourself, try to get a feel for living on campus. Remember, every second you spend studying brings you closer to freedom. I hope I've helped you even by taking a partial view of your situation.

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I understand how devastating this can be. My parents shamed me over moles, my teeth, my hair, acne and facial hair when I hit puberty, and my weight later on. I got so insecure, stopped going to pools and beaches and avoided relationships entirely. Later in life, I eventually had to start surrogate partner therapy to work through the extreme anxiety involved with exposing my body and getting close to others.

If you can't afford a therapist, here's a book that might help you to stop hating your own body.

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Image-Workbook-Eight-Step-Learning/dp/1572245468/

So sorry about your neglectful family. We all deserve support and kindness growing up. But unfortunately that’s not sometimes the case. You’re not alone and there’s resources out there to help.

For me Mindful Self Compassion has helped me a lot to find that inner comfort and support I so desperately needed. I’m a work in progress but from where I was when I started I’ve had a lot of improvement. Try to Google or YouTube it . But there’s a short workbook recommended to me from my therapist which gave me actionable steps to move forward. Perhaps it can help you too. And of course - therapy helped me a lot too in addition to the workbook. But yes, there’s a future beyond neglect. And I hope you can find a source of healing out there!!!

Here’s the workbook. I like the authors a lot as they utilize your language vs some other person. That helps me feel more at ease and not shamed for being unable to connect to guru talk.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462526780/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_X1BeGb9RA18SB?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Here’s a glitter bomb that you can buy off Amazon;

https://www.amazon.com/Glitmail-Spring-Loaded-Glitter-Bomb/dp/B00XTH7SSS

You can also make one DIY for cheaper;

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.instructables.com/Confetti-Bomb-Prank!/%3famp_page=true

As someone who also has a mother like this, I would suggest getting a chain lock on your door. This is YOUR privacy. While it might be “her” house, your room is your only safe space and she needs to respect that.

I would suggest talking to your father about this exact issue. Your mother clearly doesn’t want to hear you out, so it’s best to take this to your dad.

If it gets to the point where it’s unbearable, you could be risky and go into her room and move all of her things around. While this might be an asshole move it could flick a switch in her head.