What are /r/introvert's favorite Products & Services?

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I think a good companion book for Quiet is The Secret Lives of Introverts.

Over the last few years, I have made an effort to find myself again. I realized pretty quickly that I am introverted as hell, so these two books (Quiet and Secret Lives of Introverts) helped me figure out what all components were due to introversion as opposed to other reasons. It was tremendously comforting reading about how others have experienced life in a similar way.

If you read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking it discusses just this. I actually find things have gotten worse since the book's release as social media seems to have crept even more into our everyday lives. Every time I see someone doing a dance in public for Tik Tok or setting up an elaborate (fake) photoshoot for Instagram, I wonder what planet I've been transported to. I don't feel comfortable here.

Also check out this book: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307352153/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ApQACbCDH85KV

It's a good read for understanding ourselves and hopefully help your Mom too.

I try to remember that extroverts don't know how to handle us any more than we know how to handle them.

Then, you can be snarky and tell them "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt", but that's not likely to endear you to anyone that doesn't already know you well.

Alternatively, you can keep a copy of Susan Cain's excellent book in your desk, maybe even on your desk, and offer to let anyone making these comments borrow it.

I think it's pretty common for introverts to enjoy staying in and doing whatever they want than going out; I certainly do. However, I do have a small group of friends who are socially awkward like myself that I hang with at least one night a week and it has actually made me happier. I found a website called meetup.com where I joined a board gaming group in my local area that I attend every Friday night. That's where I met them. Although, I admit there are times when I wish I could just stay home. Such is the life of an introvert.

Join meetup.com. Find a subject matter you are interested in, and show up at a meet up. By default, you have a common interest with everyone there.

The board game meetups are easy. The game(s) give everyone something to work on together and discuss rather than filling a couple hours with chit chat. I find that players of board games are more likely to be introverted than extroverted.

Bluetooth headphones (I have these) + http://asoftmurmur.com/ works wonders. The mobile version of the app only has Rain, Thunder, Waves, and Wind available for free, but those 4 are plenty for me.

I'm not sure if you've heard of this company called Zapier, but they almost exclusively offer remote positions and do have some customer support-type roles that you would likely be qualified for. Good news is, the support they offer is chat/e-mail based, so no horrible phone calls!

Glassdoor occasionally comes out with lists on companies with remote positions (even those with non-technical roles), so be sure to look out for those, too.

Here you go

I feel you! This is a regular struggle for myself as well. All my life people have made stupid comments to me like: "you're so quiet", "why don't you talk more", "she's so shy", and recently it's been a lot more like: "why don't you come see me more often", "why don't you go out more often", etc... (which seems harmless but when you hear these things said over and over and over every single time you see anyone, it really gets to you, you really start to think "is there something wrong with me?")

A lot of the stuff you wrote about in your post, I also experience on a regular basis, and for me anyway, I find it extremely difficult to shrug off and deal with....No matter how much I explain to people why I am the way I am, they still don't understand.

We live in a society whose most important ideal is extroversion, the salesman, always-on attitude.

I can only say, we are with you, we understand completely how you feel and know that there are people out there in the world who share your frustrations as well as your interests.

I must admit though, that reading your post was very comforting, as weird as that may sound, it's extremely comforting to know that we are not alone. That we are perfectly normal to feel the way we do. This subreddit has really opened my eyes in the last year to who I really am and that it's perfectly ok to be this way.

Might I suggest a really interesting book (it helped me understand a lot about myself) if you haven't already read it that is: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

I'm sorry I couldn't give you any solid advice or thoughts of wisdom, but I hope at least that by reading this you take away one thing, you are not alone.

Thank you for reading the quiet thoughts of a fellow introverted lurker! :)

I've recently discovered the Android game Ingress. Can be mainly played solo (interaction is encouraged but optional); you need to get out and about in your city and stop by various landmarks and public spaces. Great way to get fresh air and exercise while seeing parts of the local area you may not know well.

I think meditation could help you "recharge". I've been reading a book called "Mindfulness in Plain English" lately and it helped me a lot in dealing with myself as well as others. Furthermore, I think you should try to slowly shift from your "extroverted mask" to something closer to your introvert personality so that people at work don't notice instantly and aren't shocked. Also, you'd have fewer difficulties to swap to a closer personality. Hope this help, pm me for the pdf link, or you can google it too, or buy it.

I havent used it yet because I haven't been in such a situation yet.

But this could prove usefull.
https://itunes.apple.com/en/app/whats-up/id968251160?mt=8
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jacksontempra.apps.whatsup

Its a free app to help with moments of stress/anxiety.

If you're very interested in science I recommend watching Salman Kahn's science videos at Kahn Academy. He's brilliant at explaining even the most complicated things like you're an amateur (a talent I very much appreciate).

Please don't beat yourself up for not being intelligent enough. The only thing standing in your way is your fear (incredibly corny, but true). I am dead sure that anyone interested enough can learn and study science :)

Go to Meetup.com especially if you live near a larger city. Some groups tend to have more introverts (and we're not talking about the social groups that like to meet at bars that attracts hundreds of attendees). Find the activities you like and you'll sometimes be in good company. Depending on where you live, there may be a group that specifically caters to introverts.

You could just be managing very well, or not greatly introverted, something like that. Could be http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ambivert .

Have you done an MBTI test? I'm sure I've heard Davesuperpowers mention certain types where their "cognitive functions" give them some introvert and also extrovert qualities.

Every time I see someone write 'a lot' like 'alot' I can't help but think of this: https://tinyurl.com/cgx4yky .

I suggest reading as much as possible about your interests. That way you can learn from how other people put thoughts into words.

Good luck!

Very coincidentally I stumbled upon this article yesterday: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-being-bullied-affects-your-adulthood

I’m sharing it because it mentioned a person who was able to externalize and objectify their experience of being bullied after learning that so many others had a similar experience & lingering results (like self-esteem & trust issues). As a result of that, this person was able to understand that the fallout of the bullying wasn’t their fault & didn’t reflect personal flaws. It was more of a logical cause/effect scenario than a one-off event that they caused by being themselves.

The article also discusses some positive takeaways from being bullied, like resiliency & motivation to prove the bullies wrong, etc. So, even though it’d have been better not to be bullied and that’s never okay, since it can’t be undone it feels nurturing to look at the silver lining.

I can relate because as it turns out I was a lot of fun to make fun of all the way up to my 20s! I didn’t defend myself and convinced myself that getting shit on was the price of admission for having friends. Even at 46, I still hear echos of that fear of being rejected & laughed at, but I’ve gotten much better at taking one interaction at a time & being curious about what’s going on rather than suspicious that I’m in danger (takes a while bc survival instincts are strong!)... In essence it’s been about giving myself a chance while also giving others a chance + honoring the reality and validity of bullying after-effects. It could be helpful to talk through this with a therapist. I wish I’d sought therapy much younger than I did... with the right person, it’s a huge boon.

Hopefully that helps! :)

"Hey guys, how do I meet introverted people in public?"

I don't think it works that way, but I guess online communities is a start. Maybe meetup.com? I don't see many public outings for groups of introverts. But if you really need the social connection to others, I think online is a great start.

1 - What country are you in? Health insurance is ~$300 / month in the US. It's just another business expense you'll need to make the income to cover. You can get it here: https://www.healthcare.gov

2 - To start getting customers, just text or email people who might want your product or service. If you don't know anyone who might buy, you need to reboot and re-start at the idea phase.

1. The total cost of starting the business I run is $1 for the domain, some gas money to drive around a little to find products, $5 to the domain company to let me build a crappy website on the domain, $5 to Google to let me set up a custom Gmail address: , $50 for some Reddit ads, $30 to paypal to help me get paid. Basically a $100 startup :).

4- I'm taking home about 20-30% of revenue right now.

5 - I run it as a sole proprietor.

6 - My initial site I just built it using GoDaddy's $5 website builder. Super easy to set up. I wrote the copy myself.

I have an interesting way of chilling out that technically isn't alone, but it recharges me.

I like walking through a shopping centre during the weekdays with my headphones in with chill out sounds (normally this http://asoftmurmur.com). It's like I'm around people while being completely distance from them. It's the sound people make that drains me, if that makes sense. If I don't have my headphones that blocks the sounds, then I get restless and drained.

I am spanish, but just wanted to share this app, called Slowly. You meet people and send letters, that take time to get to them (like a real letter would), and you can filter the people you want to talk to by gender, place of origin, interests... I've read from a lot of introverts hanging around there (but mind you it's not specifically a dating site).

Hope you find someone! Otherwise, you don't really need to have a soulmate: single life is cool too.

I hear you. But keep in mind, this is what most people want, and there are a lot of other single people out there wanting the same thing. The problem is, you aren't doing anything about it. That may sound harsh, but you are going to need to do something on your end to make it happen. You may need to go out of your comfort zone a bit. I'm not saying go to clubs, as I can't personally imagine meeting the person for you at a club.
That said, these are the best suggestions I can think of right now. Do you have any relatively good friends at work (or at least some that you could become good friends with a bit more effort)? How about family members that you feel you can talk openly with? If so, you could work up to telling them how you are feeling. Maybe they know someone they can introduce you to.
What are your interests? Do you like to read? Go to a coffee shop, library, book store, etc. If not reading, see if there are places outside of home where people are interacting with others that involve one of your interests.
Finally, probably the most powerful tool you have is sitting right in front of you. I met my husband online - there used to be a stigma to this, but that's pretty much gone these days. You could start with meetup.com and put in your interests, and apply what I said before. Maybe there's someone for you there, or you could make a friend that could eventually introduce you to someone. I don't know much about dating sites, but you could give it a try (just be honest about yourself and don't get disheartened if that doesn't work). Any other online socializing (e.g. gaming) can lead to online friendships that might lead you to something, maybe even a long-distance relationship.
Main point, start taking steps (even little steps) as often as you can to get you to a place you want and need in your life.

How do great artists get great? By practicing. Long hours alone practicing. Lonely hours can be put to very good use.

Now, human contact is important for most people. So if I'm craving a human interaction, I might check out meetup.com for a group playing board games that night. I love board games, even with new people. The game gives everyone something to work on and talk about together. No pointless chit chat necessary.

> Sometimes equals do match better than opposites!

Definitely! Matching levels of introversion/extroversion are a really important indicator of whether or not a relationship will succeed.

"Opposites attract" is only true in the very short term. People like people who are similar to them, but people really like people who become similar to them. In the initial stages of dating, we all make efforts (whether consciously or not) to become more like our partners. That makes us more attractive in the short term, but it isn't sustainable over the long haul.

As long as I'm on the topic of introvert life and dating advice, go pick up a copy of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking if you haven't already read it. That's the book that turned my life around. Also, head on over to Netflix and watch Daniel Sloss's Dark and Jigsaw. Jigsaw has some real wisdom about relationships, but you'll want to watch Dark first for context. And just because it's hilarious if you like dark comedy.

I'm a designer. You can get a good start towards understanding whether it is a good fit for you by reading the "The Design of Everyday Things" by Don Norman. I promise it is not at all a snoozer even if you're not too into books, and recommend it to generally every human alive. I can't offer much great advice in terms of actually transitioning in without going through school since that was my route, but I do know a lot of people have done it, but you might as well at least start from that book and see whether it's something you can pour more of your life into. It doesn't eliminate the BS, but you get to deal with everything WAAAAAAY more on your own terms and schedule than what I would picture tech support having to deal with. As long as you are driven to help people, that's a great start to getting into design.

If you want something completely different, I'm reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" right now - actually, I'm like, 50 pages from the end. We've had lots of lovely days lately so I've been out in the park sitting under trees and devouring it.

Some suggestions:

The Feeling Good Handbook is a cognitive-behavioral therapist in book form. A huge focus of the book is training yourself to notice your negative thinking distortions so that you can replace them with healthier thought patterns. I think it might be helpful to you. You may even want to go talk to a cognitive behavioral therapist or a counselor in general for help and advice.

Social activities to investigate: See if there's any local boardgame stores that do social events. I have one nearby that does Go night and a boardgame demo night. You could try to find a paper and pencil roleplaying group to join. I have a group of friends where we get together every week to watch a few episodes of a scifi series, and the person hosting cooks dinner. If you're near a college campus, see what clubs exist, some of them may welcome nonstudents.

If there's a subreddit for your city/area, ask in there for some suggestions as to quiet social opportunities.

You might also see if there's a Lesswrong.com chapter that meets near you. Their main focus is on rationality, but I think they have a lot of introverts.

You might want to take a look at something that was posted here recently. It's a document detailing how to make a good impression, and I found some nice tips in there. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DwpvHgwTdl06KcTf1qVs1HI-bm2Pjd8iPj9FGdxbCko/edit

You could try finding groups of people with similar interests to you on meetup.com. I personally haven't tried it yet, but I'm thinking about doing so in the summer. It's a site where you search your interests and see if anyone in your area has similar interests. The point of it is to meet up in real life and make friends with similar interests. There are also groups that exist for the sole purpose of making friends and accept those of all ages/religion/etc. Of course, this will work better if you live in a populated area like LA instead of a small town of 1000 people. Still, worth a try. My smaller town that I live in now actually has a few groups on it, but none of them interest me.

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Also, someone else I used to know used to be play games alone in his room for years and eventually got really lonely. Their solution was to volunteer at places regularly. He explained that at first, it was awkward. But he started to introduce himself and meet a lot of people. Today, he's more social and has more friends. He's more willing to go out there into the world and meet new people than he was during the years he just played games alone. But it's not like he's "a changed man". He still will game regularly alone in his room. The difference is that he has more friends, is more willing to make an effort to meet people (even if it's stressful), and isn't as lonely.

More than "gifts for introverts", the site looks like gift with the introvert theme on it. I don't know dude, it's like gifting a gay a shirt who says: "I like guys" or any gay based stereotype.

Some feedback if you want:

1. Try to take out the index.php from your url.
2. Add SSL (r/https://letsencrypt.org/ its free, there are not more excuses to not use SSL), Chrome is starting to stop showing sites without SSL and google penalty a lot on SEO
3. Below the search bar, there is a range input, I just don't understand what it's that for.
   

Good luck with the idea :)! hope it works!

I don't even know why anyone would want to use social media. Honestly, reddit is a "social media" as I can possibly get, and I don't even bother making friends on-line because it's not really a friendship, but a substitute for human interaction. I guess if you're trying to make friends online try meetup.com. There's also an app to meet pin pals that's pretty cool.

That sounds miserable. Make them all read Quiet to get some insight into you and to themselves so they can stop being jerks.

If your personality is introverted, you cannot "make the switch". Being an introvert is who you are and that is not a bad thing.

Being introverted can be very powerful. Please don't let others make you feel bad for who you are. Don't let them make you feel guilty for needing time to yourself.

Here's a link to a book that really helped me embrace my introverted nature.

https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

The best way I have found is meditation. Something you could really sink your teeth into with your tons of downtime. /r/meditation & Mindfulness in Plain English

Wonderful explanation and tips. It's hard to find time to meditate every day, but the idea of doing a little concentrated training so that every moment can be a meditation is so useful. I really connect with what I've read of Thich Nhat Hanh's description of this process. The Miracle of Mindfulness is a short book he wrote that I like to recommend to people as an introduction to this idea.

Mindfulness in Plain English is a great, short book that you can download for free off the internet (legally-- the book is free). It's very, very good.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:AqwzL1RKoCMJ:www.urbandharma.org/pdf/mindfulness_in_plain_english.pdf+mindfulness+in+plain+english&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESguZtibholT-tfmG-Dbgu3dqQIirJMtbMJd5ZxfL1t05_tMK8NVDB-Z...

total self promo, but I hate phone calls, so I made an app for just this problem: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.stickle Allows you to call and be called when you're both ready

please take a look and let me know what you think :-) you know, if you want, :-D

I absolutely fucking hate receiving calls. Luckily, there are a few people where I know that they only call me rarely or when it's an emergency. So, what I did, was install an app that blocks all calls (but displays a notification) except for the ones I put on the white list.

I feel lonely from time to time as well. I did not celebrate new years eve with anyone, I was siting at home with my family and watching stories from my nearest friends being together, and to be be honest seeing my inner circle having fun together kind of made me questiong my friendship with those friends.

I've never been as lonely as right now.

I struggle with meeting people as well, I'm from Denmark and I don't think any service like meetup.com exists where I am from.

I hate to say this, but I lost a lot of friends due to the need of relaxing I have as an introvert.
When you're an introvert real long lasting true relationships are so rare, not everyone will experiance one in their lifetime.

Hope you'll get to experiance that, not to say I know how that is :/

This is so true. I'd add, "doing stuff" doesn't mean pressure to act like someone that is outgoing if one isn't naturally so. It's perfectly acceptable to go to activities and events and be the quiet one there.

I've found meetup.com events are particularly helpful for this, in fact. People go to events precisely because they want to meet people, and often the outgoing folks balance out the shy ones and help newbies integrate.

Also, on a personal note, I'm a little envious of this "anxious and desperate for companionship" thing. Whenever any of my relationships have ended all I've felt is relief and joy in being able to be alone again! So, I dunno, the silver lining is that it's really nice you experienced a relationship you enjoyed and appreciated? I'm happy for you for that.

As someone who has studied Japanese and has a black belt in karate I have always translated kara as meaning empty. Thus "empty orchestra" and "empty hand."

Not trying to be pendantic, more so just curious as to if you changed it to "just" so it made more sense in English, or if you were actually taught this. It may just be one of those cases where a word can be translated in different ways. For example 'kara' can also mean China, so there's much despute as to if it's 'empty hand' or 'china hand.'

Sources:

http://askville.amazon.com/Karate-literally-Japanese/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=1347511

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_karate_actually_mean

The particular ones I use are by a brand called deepsleeps https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01IW3XLNE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 But I think there are a few brands that do something similar, and they'll work in the same way.

This is good. Hopefully, it works out. If he wants to understand introversion better, this book is a classic - Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00714PZMQ/. The author might also have talks on YouTube, podcast episodes

Happy thursday all,

Personality Cookbook is a visual guide to personality types and Jungian concepts. Book 4: Navigate dives into the 4 basic human needs we all share, and how they are impacted by introversion vs extraversion, and is FREE HERE NOW until 5/9

The goal of this series is to help newcomers familiarize themselves with some of the denser Jungian concepts, and to give personality veterans with another set of tools when grappling with these topics.

Thanks to everyone who’s been downloading, messaging, and responding to my books these past few weeks! It was truly humbling to see the response last week – a huge download increase, clearly CHARGE was a popular topic. To help anyone that missed book 1, I’ve dropped the price on that intro book HERE permanently. Stay tuned for a physical copy coming soon…Good luck on your journey to self discovery – it’s the best adventure you’ll take.

Happy thursday all,

Personality Cookbook is a visual guide to personality types and Jungian concepts. Book 4: Navigate dives into the 4 basic human needs we all share, and how they are impacted by introversion vs extraversion, and is FREE HERE NOW until 5/9.

The goal of this series is to help newcomers familiarize themselves with some of the denser Jungian concepts, and to give personality veterans with another set of tools when grappling with these topics.

Thanks to everyone who’s been downloading, messaging, and responding to my books these past few weeks! It was truly humbling to see the response last week – a huge download increase, clearly CHARGE was a popular topic. To help anyone that missed book 1, I’ve dropped the price on that intro book HERE permanently. Stay tuned for a physical copy coming soon…Good luck on your journey to self discovery – it’s the best adventure you’ll take.

Happy thursday all,

Personality Cookbook is a visual guide to personality types and Jungian concepts. Book 4: Navigate dives into the 4 basic human needs we all share, and how they are impacted by introversion vs extraversion, and is FREE HERE NOW until 5/9

The goal of this series is to help newcomers familiarize themselves with some of the denser Jungian concepts, and to give personality veterans with another set of tools when grappling with these topics.

Thanks to everyone who’s been downloading, messaging, and responding to my books these past few weeks! It was truly humbling to see the response last week – a huge download increase, clearly CHARGE was a popular topic. To help anyone that missed book 1, I’ve dropped the price on that intro book HERE permanently. Stay tuned for a physical copy coming soon…Good luck on your journey to self discovery – it’s the best adventure you’ll take.

Happy thursday all,

Personality Cookbook is a visual guide to personality types and Jungian concepts. Book 3: Charge dives into the impact of introversion vs extraversion on your cognitive functions, and is FREE HERE NOW until 5/2.

The goal of this series is to help newcomers familiarize themselves with some of the denser Jungian concepts, and to give personality veterans with another set of tools when grappling with these topics. This book emphasizes that we are all a blend introverted and extraverted elements, and the importance of (a) identifying your introverted vs extraverted sides and (b) keeping them both charged.

Please enjoy this book, and good luck on your journey to fuller self discovery – it’s the best adventure you’ll take.

"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" for kindle just went on sale today for $3 so I'm giving it a try. Will report back if it's any good. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B004J4WNL2/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_M63R514MEMG9A50M4FBR

Meetup.com has its fare share of introverts and other people who were frustrated over where to meet people besides bars. Find some groups in your area that meets your interests.

Depending on where you are, Meetup.com may be a good place for a young person like you. Meetup seems to cater more to the 30+ crowd, but I've met some young people who are not bothered by the fact that they are younger than others. Outside of the groups that focus on nightlife and drinking, you'll meet your share of introverts.

I’m glad things are improving.

I benefitted from also going out alone two evenings a week, having a coffee, read or write.

Hope your kid gets better and home safe and sound.

This book on NICU dads might be of interest. NICU book

Free public domain audiobooks.

Do you think you want to read about concepts? Like math or philosophy or sciences?

Are you interested in history or real life mysteries or events?

Do you want a book with magic or speculative science?

How about this - have there been any tv shows or movies you really liked recently, and maybe we could suggest some things from there?

Yea, I agree that you need an outlet for your imagination. The freaks in school always turn out to be the most creatively gifted. I started drawing when I was like 12 because that's when I stopped being challenged in school. I picked up guitar recently.

An important thing is to be comfortable being alone, and the internet helps. Don't let society decide what's normal for you.

Here's a really good book on introversion. I actually have it on my computer if you want me to send it.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8520610-quiet

Or if you're more of a video person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

Later

Try finding groups to catch up with on meetup.com. Whatever you like to do, there is a group doing it. Hiking, cooking, gardening, photography, etc.

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A board game meetup may be nice. With a game in front of everyone, you have something to work on together rather than trying to make 100% small talk.

I bought the cheapest one I could find and its totally fine. I never put it down so the mechanism for up/down doesn't even matter.

Mine is similar to this.

It definitely is in a lot of them, yeah. I still drink, but only very lightly, not to get wasted.

I'm trying to hit up meetup.com for more ideas.

In the past I've started my own groups but running those is exhausting and largely one-way (people show up, get the benefits, and don't put much in... well, I get a $5 donation now and again).

Not to do with introversion per se, but this was a fascinating episode that talks a lot about loneliness in America: https://player.fm/series/the-ezra-klein-show/is-modern-society-making-us-depressed

meetup.com

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Find a group of people doing the stuff you like to do and join them.

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I recommend board game groups. The game gives everyone something to focus on together, rather than making small talk.

Use meetup.com to find groups doing things you like to do. Don't go to attract females. Go to enjoy the subject matter and the people in the group. I like the board game groups, which are easy for introverts as everyone has a game in front of them to work on together instead of trying to make small talk for a couple of hours.

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Volunteering to a needy cause, gym/yoga group classes, cooking class, etc. etc.

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Increasing your over all social network will increase your chance of finding a female to click with. Seeing a pretty woman on the street and trying to attract her out of the blue is something beyond me. Just because you like a woman is no reason for her to like you back. Find common ground with people, share some time together and then see where things go.

I totally 2nd (or 3rd) meetup.com. Look through it and find a local meetup for an activity you find interesting. You'll find both regulars and new solo people going, but nearly everyone started as a new solo person. It's very rare to find a Meetup group that makes you feel like the odd one out.

Hobby/interests groups/classes that meet regularly are definitely a good place to start. If you are in a city there are a lot of them around. Meetup.com as has been mentioned is designed to connect people with such groups, but even going to a coffeeshop/restraunts and looking at the flyers on the board can be helpful. I found my group through talking to someone at a church function. Their brother runs interfaith book study which sounded interesting. The group became my friends circle, and four years later I found my wife there. This last weekend some of the group were going to help us move (she is pregnant and can't do heavy lifting) but ended up moving us from one house to another by themselves while she took me to the emergency room. It is a very good group of friends.

But again it started with me joining a group doing something I enjoyed, that met regularly in real life.

Check out meetup.com. Find subject matter you may be interested in and show up for an event. An easy one is board gaming groups. When you arrive, you have a game sitting in front of everyone, so everyone has something to talk about and work on together. Not a lot of forced chit-chat.

Honestly, just approach people. Don't be an ass, but usually there's a lull in the conversation eventually where you can walk up and say; "Hi there, pardon me, but I happened to overhear you discussing X. Can you tell me more about it? I've been curious about it." Or similar.

If it's actually a private conversation, they'll tell you. Or, if they aren't interested to talk with you, you'll probably notice pretty quickly. But often people like being asked about themselves, as long as you're polite and don't get pushy.

Other than that, seek special interest groups for your interests, then you can talk with others about them all you want. Try Meetup.com and look in your geographic area, or make a new group if you're feeling motivated.

On friends; the best friends I have made so far almost always appeared in my life as a pleasant side effect of something else I was doing that I liked. Sometimes just going to a cafe you like, often enough, lets you see who the regulars are and gives you an excuse strike up a conversation. If a person is reading a book that interests you, ask about it. Do something you like in a public space, someone may ask you about it - or if not, you're still doing what you want. Those are things I have had some success with.

One random suggestion; depending on your interests, see if your town has a local "makerspace" or "hackspace". Lots of intelligent and creative people gather at those.

Hope that helps. Making good friendships is not a fast process, unfortunately.

Before getting computer glasses, something else to consider is https://justgetflux.com/

I work at a computer everyday and spend a great deal of my time off work in front of a computer. I tone down the color changes a bit so it's not so drastic, but it helps quite a bit with eye fatigue once you get used to the color tint. You'll get the same tint with those gaming glasses, so why not get the effect at no cost?

I feel your pain. I'm reluctant to talk to people (even my closest family, who I love) about my problems in fear of them judging me, using what I say against me, or even dismissing my problems as though they aren't a big deal. For most of the problems I've faced, I've managed to get through them by myself. But I do have to agree when people say it's good sharing with people...but that doesn't necessarily mean in person. I was recently going through a tough time, and unfortunately found it hard to deal with it on my own. Luckily, I found 7 Cups, an online therapy website where you talk to a complete stranger about your problem. They're not qualified therapists, just a normal person who's willing to hear you out and, if possible, offer you advice. It's completely anonymous (and free), so you can say whatever you want and not worry about all the things you mentioned.

Have you tried talking to HR? Or, perhaps, your boss?

I had a colleague like this. He would sit on the phone, oblivious, blathering nonsense to his infant son.

I used to play simplynoise.com to drown him out.

Not surprised, I got a 20 and am definitely a highly sensitive person. Sounds and noises bother me more than anything, but my irritations aren’t limited to that. Curious if anyone here has heard of/has misophonia as I have that and at times, it has gotten to where it controls my life and I just can’t cope. I need to find some way to cope but that’s yet to happen. To sum it up, Life has been miserable. My job is nothing but all day sounds and constant stimulation.

web md: misophonia

I don't know if this will help you, but this man (Stephane Pigeon) saves my sanity:

https://mynoise.net/noiseMachines.php

You can find what's most soothing / noise blocking for you, stick your headphones in and feel the stress dissipate.

I find the cafe or airport noises good if you don't want to hear what other people are talking about. But there are many many choices.

Been getting into visual novels lately. The setup files were on my computer, which is the essential element to bring to asian parties for me, and for a few other people as well. The video games were getting stale so I decided to install and boot it up with next to no idea what to expect.

I read Digital: A Love Story. Short read, "a computer mystery/romance set five minutes into the future of 1988." It's got a weird interface and you never see what the protagonist types, so you fill in a lot of what happens with your own thoughts. Give it a try if you're interested. Free and small filesize.

I play rhythm games. I can't listen to music without doing something, and rhythm games offer the perfect package. I listen to a lot of anime and Japanese music and I also like doing something while listening to music, so Osu is the perfect thing for both.

>IT specialisation

Programmer.

Programmers can work from home. You can learn it by yourself to start :python, javascript, css and html are good beginner friendly programming languages.

You can learn those languages at youtube to start with , they're free

​

You can do a course online ( udemy.com is trustworthy and they give u certificates after completing), in the modern days i guess you can get a job from online courses.

But you can ofcourse always study it at a high school.

I'm with you 100% on this. Your post reminds me of a book a fellow introvert recommended: Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto by Anneli Rufus. I'm a recovering alcoholic and AA added to my feelings of being drained by other unhealthy people. Twelve step programs are teeming with sexual predators. I had an experience where a man tried to invite me over for a night of board games with "AA friends" and I did not go, because his rapist reputation preceded him. After that I went to women only meetings until I was secure in my sobriety and able to fly solo.

The first social skill you need to learn is how to set boundaries - how to do what you know is best for you and not let others guilt you or nag you into doing things you don't want to do. Being social when YOU want to is a skill.

​

Read https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

The first social skill you need to learn is how to set boundaries - how to do what you know is best for you and not let others guilt you or nag you into doing things you don't want to do. Being social when YOU want to is a skill. Saying "no" is social skill all too few people learn.

Your next social skill is how to present yourself as "the quiet one who gets things done" at school and work. In an interview and the first few weeks at a new job I make it clear that my personal life is separate from my work, and that teamwork for me is getting my part of the project done on schedule.

1. There is no requirement to get married.

2. It also doesn’t really have to cost more than the cost of the license (so much depends on jurisdiction for the legality of the marriage.

Also, I highly recommend This Book which talks about some human sexual and marital themes.

Maybe get one of those room divider screen things? it would protect your privacy and probably help with sound quality as well.

https://smile.amazon.com/GOJOOASIS-Divider-Folding-Privacy-Screen/dp/B07FFP4Z96/ref=sr_1_7?crid=24DEH8GIMIRAU&dchild=1&keywords=room+dividers+and+folding+privacy+screens&qid=1619869082&sprefix=Room+divider%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-7

Give your boss a copy of the book QUIET by Susan Cain..

Includes studies about the power and value introverts bring to the workplace - when they’re allowed to establish necessary boundaries, etc.

Yes, I do this all the time! Luckily I live on a lake so there's always a nice spot to park and eat, listen to music, and relax.

Also, if you eat in your car, I HIGHLY recommend getting a tray like thisgetting a tray like this, that hooks onto your steering wheel and creates a mini-table. A total game changer!!

The book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" helped me a lot with this, especially at work. I'm became ok with others going on and on about whatever issue, and I often can catch something overlooked or a possible consequence or alternate solution. Being more comfortable in my own mind with being like that, actually led me to participate more, probably because I wasn't try force something.

I love reading the reviews for that book. It's like Uprising Of The Introverts! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307352153

Ha! Totally get it.

Hard to quiet the negative self talk as an introvert in a world that won’t stop shouting.

Susan Cain’s book QUIET is a great resource.

Similar to these?: 6 Pieces Unisex Magic Headband Multifunctional Elastic Head Wrap Seamless Neck Gaiter for Cycling Running Outdoor Activities https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082V6ZJ5W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_n564FbPK8R37Q

I just love all the comments from Introverts. We all love to be alone.

But let's face it. Finding introverted partners ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE HARD. The women I see are Introverts. My cousins have Introverted wives. I'm actually jealous.

I never looked for 'hookups' but I don't think one would find an introverted 'hookup.'

World kind of belongs to Extroverts. I kind of gave up hope as of now. A man can dream, like @Tandem-soli said, a man can dream.

Wake up, have a tea or coffee together. Give her hug or a kiss on the cheek, start the day. Go to a nice 'not-at-all-crowded' cafe or restaurant (I prefer this because I will be living with my parents IF I ever get married and I would lack privacy, I'm not from US or any other Western country) with privacy in an inconspicuous corner. Or just stay at home and indulge in meaning sharing of thoughts, of course, by giving each other their space.

Ah. A dream that would never come true for me.

Here's an app that can help you find people based on your MBTI.

Thanks to Introvert, Dear (blog) for this one. Maybe it's time to ditch Tinder full of fake people.

SoSyncd might be the one.

Well, not just for introverts, but based on MBTI, there is one. I even got a match, first time ever. Tinder is just useless, if you ask me.

SoSyncd

I've got a pair of waterproof bluetooth earbuds I got for $40, great for dorm showers. Here and they're down to $30

I'm partial to the Conambo line - they're pretty great for how cheap they are and the world won't end if I lose them (since they're cheap!)

https://www.amazon.com/Canceling-Headphones-Lightweight-Bluetooth-Cellphone/dp/B07Y1QRD93/ref=sr_1_9

> I wish I Wasn't lonely/Shy,I want to be normal.

Being shy is totally normal. The first step to becoming happy is to change your mindset. As long as you see your shyness as a problem that needs to be fixed, you won't be happy. As cliche as it sounds, you need to accept yourself for who you are. I didn't learn that lesson until my late 30's. Once I understood myself and stopped trying to be someone else, I opened the way for others to love me too. Now I'm happily married. :)

Reading Quiet, by Susan Cain really gave me the perspective I needed. I wish I'd had it at your age. Give it a try.

I know this might seem like it's coming from left field, but I recommend delving into Stoicism.

I stumbled upon William Irvine's A Guide to the Good Life a few months ago. It takes this ancient philosophy and makes an already practical philosophy into something more accessible to modern readers.

Then I started browsing the Stoicism subreddit, where I learned a lot more.

As a philosophy, Stoicism has taught me that I don't have to fear failure or humiliation as long as I keep in mind that I gave it my best shot and that ultimately some things are beyond my control. It's a lesson that's simple to understand but surprisingly difficult to master in application to one's life.

Good luck with putting yourself out there.

The fantastic thing about meditation (and buddhism should you so choose to go down that road) is that everything can be tested and experienced by the practitioner.

Read Mindfulness in Plain English and start sitting regularly (5 minutes morning/night to start). You will be amazed what you will learn about yourself if you are patient

>I've heard other people say that he's changed their view on life, but it wasn't that influential for me.

It probably had more impact back before the new age movement made eastern philosophy seem naive and passe ("frou-frou" is my term of choice). I had a similar experience with "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" - another cult classic whose philosophy has started wearing threadbare with time.

I'd definitely recommend Friday, as another poster already mentioned. I'd also include Onirim. Both are great solo card games that have interesting gameplay.

Lastly, head on over to /r/boardgames and check out the sidebar section, "Get Help Picking a Game." They have links to some threads on solo game recommendations that might also help.

I hope you find something you like.

Not just headphones - I got Extreme Isolation EX-29s, which are basically studio monitor headphones built into an industrial ear protection frame. Isolates even better than some Bose noise canceling headphones I've used.

As some others have mentioned, people like to be listened to, especially extroverts. Any kind of social interaction is stimulating for them, where an introvert will become over stimulated and drained of energy. My friends will sometimes give me shit for not talking, but I've accepted that I do not need to talk constantly. If I have something to contribute to the conversation, I will chime in. I also like to just sit back and observe others behavior and interactions. People intrigue me and I like to try and see things from their perspectives and figure out how they think. It has been awhile since I read it, but check out "Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" Link to amazon This is a great start to learning about introversion an extroversion, in my opinion.

There is nothing wrong with being introverted. I used to think there was something really wrong with me, but now I know I am just introverted and that is normal. I know reading philosophy and books about introversion helps. Here are some good one worth checking out:

https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475123867&sr=8-1&keywords=susan+cain

https://www.amazon.com/Introverts-Way-Living-Quiet-Perigee/dp/0399537694/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475123902&sr=8-1&keywords=introverts+way

Living with parents is tough. Have you thought of making a plan to get into your own place? The economy is rough right now, but there might be some options out there.

Carl Jung was considered an introvert and wrote an autobiography. He also coined the terms introversion and extroversion. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679723951/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

Maybe this has been posted before here but this is so inspiring and we need to listen to this speech time to time in order to keep sanity with this loud world.

Here's her book which she mentioned in the lecture: https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153

Thanks !

Holy crap yes. I do well enough at overriding my natural tendency to run and hide so that isn't a problem for me. But I work in audio so everyone around me has serious hearing loss and my ears are worth money. I refuse to deal with literal pain for no reason so I wear musicians earplugs almost daily as situations call for it. They drop audio levels evenly so everything sounds exactly the same, just a little quieter.

The trouble is I'll have camera gear so maximising and have backpack mode is a must. Currently looking at this:

Lowe Alpine AT Light Flite Carry-On 40 Backpack - Anthracite, One Size https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00SN0RZ7K/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_QplNwb6G2Z2HQ

http://www.amazon.com/Mae-Ploy-Sweet-25-Ounce-Bottle/dp/B00016UX0K and http://www.amazon.com/Huy-Fong-Sriracha-Chili-Sauce/dp/B00838FWPO/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1448332722&sr=1-1&keywords=sriracha

also butter, salt and cracked black pepper when you're browning the meat. and really that's it :)

A lot of it has to do with the way we are rarely able to articulate exactly what we mean. I had quite a bit of trouble with that until I had a chance to read Introvert Power and really internalize it. That combined with an unrelated overall confidence boost made it much easier to simply say "That's not really my thing" or "That sounds interesting but I'm not up for it right now" which seems to do the trick.

Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari - although it assumes you're mainly an extrovert, it really does allow you to understand this really weird dating culture we're in (relative to the rest of history, we've never had so many freaking options, which is overwhelming to so many)

It's just about being polite... like opening the door for someone carrying groceries.

You're simply helping the other person who isn't comfortable with silence or doesn't feel comfortable enough to share more of themselves yet.

You're not required to do it... but that doesn't mean people won't treat you like you just cut in line at the bank when you don't comply with the social contract that is small talk.

Oh... and yes, it's lame, boring and uncomfortable. If you want to think of it as a challenge (or a game), I'd recommend How to Talk to Anyone.