A book that really helped me break out of this is Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. Stick with it despite initial impressions and it has a very good chance of helping you as well.
And yes, I've been able to quit after heavy heavy use. You can PM me with ANY questions, vent sessions, whatever. Hit me up and I'll respond as soon as I can. (Should be pretty quick, but prob not immediately.)
It's the basic habit loop. 1-Trigger 2-Routine 3-Reward. The key is to change the routine consciously so that eventually by the trigger we begin to get "cravings" for the routine (hopefully positive) in order for the dopamine to drip ;) Good luck homie
Source: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.
One thing to consider is how habits are ingrained. Dang it, I read a good book recently on habits and how they are formed. Basically, you have a formed habit. The key is "once I hit my bedroom". All the neurological cues of the pot habit are activated even if you conscioulsy do not want to get high. The trick is to find something else to do to replace the "once I hit the bedroom" habit. I know for me, there are certain emotional states which trigger pot use. I actually use very little and not every day. The thing is, even when I smoke a little I get headaches. And it makes me feel groggy the next day. You are not a loser! You just have a habit that you have not figured out how to break. Oh! The Power of Habit. That is the book. It is a good read. Good luck.
It sounds like you are trying to escape from something (probably yourself), and you're seeking things outside of yourself to make you feel better, but they don't make you feel better, they just make you feel different. That's what weed has always been to me. It's a button I can push to feel instantly different.
In a very literal way, the only thing thing that can make you feel better is inside of you. It is you. Luckily, it's possible to learn to accept yourself. Meditation is a pure way to do this, to just sit around and feel your sensations and feel what it's like to be you. I'm a fan of transcendental meditation, but there are a lot of different types out there, do some research and find one you like. Don't worry about doing it right.
If it sounds hippy dippy, look up some celebrities that do meditation. You'd be surprised at how many successful people do it. also, check this out: http://www.openculture.com/2015/04/listen-to-bill-murray-lead-a-guided-mediation-on-how-it-feels-to-be-bill-murray.html
I just quit a couple days ago and I am currently reading a book called "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. It is giving me a great perspective for why I was smoking and how easy it can be to form bad habits. It also gives you tips on how you can reshape those habits and move to places in your life where you feel like you are in control. I highly recommend this book to everyone in this community.
I think the book "Mindfulness in Plain English" is a good introduction to meditation. You can find a legal online version here : http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html. It's also available at your local library or bookstore.
Stay Strong! You can do it!
I just found this site of relaxing background noise.
As someone else mentioned, tea can be a little relaxing. It's a process sort of like getting stoned. Get out the train. Heat the water. Steep the tea. Add some honey. Add some cream. Drink the tea. It takes up 5 or 10 mins just like getting stoned would have.
Try to get some items on your adult checklist that are fun for you. Like someone else mentioned, get out into some nature. That could be as simple as a walk to a local Green space to listen to the birds. It could be a big hike. Or a bike ride. Snowboarding.
Do stuff that s kid would do. Build a plastic model. Build a complicated Lego set. Get one of those board games that are so popular these days. Draw some stuff. Write in a journal. Go see play, musical, or movie. Go on a day trip to a place or town you have always been curious about. Plan a big travel trip. Planning can feel like looking into the future.
Basically you are looking for stuff that makes you a little happy. Stuff that the average adult check boxer would say is optional.
Get a hobby! Play an instrument, 30 dollar Hohner Marine Band Harmonica! Get a sketch book for 5 bucks and start drawing! Start exercising! (Biking, swimming, slacklining, running, skate/longboarding, climbing trees, anything!) learn something cool! But most of all, go get another job! I know, I know, it fucking blows. But dude, being high all the time isn't gonna help your life advance, and even though change fucking sucks, ya gotta do it because you can't just sit on your butt all day. Even that'll get boring eventually! If you have a job you can at least save some money, travel to somewhere cool, hell, MOVE somewhere cool! There's so much more out there than just sitting around getting toasted all day!
More power to you, I hope things look up for ya!
The funny part is that the depression you're feeling, could also be a withdrawal symptom.
Here is a good slide about the hormones responsible for your happiness
Congrats! Great reason to quit! Also love The Power of Habit! I think about the roughly hundred concerts I've been too. Seen so many great performers, some of who are retired and I'm sad that I can barely remember any of it. Damn drug!
That "fuck it" feeling isn't its own entity, but it definitely feels like it. This idea of two minds, or system 1 and system 2, is written about extensively in psychological literature and philosophy as far back as Plato. Daniel Kahneman is a contemporary psychologist who studies it (among many others), and there's a great self-help book called "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. He calls the feeling "resistance," and offers advice on how to deal with it. I highly recommend it.
Even though the feeling isn't a separate entity, it can really help in overcoming resistance or addiction to pretend that it is actually separate and to respond accordingly. Call it the addict brain, the devil on the shoulder, Senor Puff Puff, whatever you want. And when it tempts you to act in ways you don't want to, respond by mocking it, laughing at it, asserting your power over it. This is a powerful way of breaking the strength of that voice, especially if we are accustomed to blindly following it, as most are.
Congrats on five days! You can do this!
Drink lots of water, congratulate yourself on the small victories, read Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit, stop focusing on blaming, self blame or obsessing over regrets, consider finding a new place so you don't live with enablers, know that moving out is good for you and not a reflection of your friendships, continue to be awesome and know you can do it. Also maybe go for a long walk with a favorite playlist so you get the blood pumping again after your smoke slip up. You got this! Will take a while. Be patient and move forward.
I highly suggest that you read "The Power of Habit" (or listen to the audio book version). It does a great job of explaining how habits are formed and the best ways to replace habits with different ones. Basically you have to recognize rewards, triggers, and cravings. Rewards are what you get from the action your habit is based on, in this case smoking trees. The triggers are those things that cause you to consciously or unconsciously crave that reward, which is where the cravings come in. The real trick is to find a different action, and see if you can apply some of those same triggers to make you crave the reward of that action. Obviously the book explains it better than I could in one comment, but you get the idea. I hope you do well. I had to quit because of cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, so going back just isn't really an option for me.
Try purchasing The Five Minute Journal. It helped me a lot. It helps you focus on the positives in your life and what you're grateful for. Also, find new hobbies to replace smoking; if you just stop smoking and don't replace it with something else, it's hard to not want to fill that void with the old habits. Go get The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, he outlines how to break a habit. A lot of times, the urge to smoke is triggered by a cue, and smoking is the reward. Replace the reward of smoking with the reward of something else, and you can break that habit loop. Most addictions are just deeply ingrained habits.
>try to get motivated
There is no such thing as motivation. There is only focus, dedication and discipline. I know that sounds rigid, but this was key for me in becoming better and making progress. You should read up about this concept all that you can, reflect on the ways that we substitute this magical concept of 'motivation' for the real, fundamental, provable concept of discipline, and holding yourself to a standard of work ethic and personal success.
If you can control your mind, anything is possible. We live in a focus-starved world, where we invite our favourite devices to distract us at any time through notifications and texts. On top of living in that culture, you've quit smoking weed which is a substance that spaces you out and makes focusing even harder. Your mind is not used to focusing right now. But science has proven that like any muscle, your mind can be trained to focus better and more effectively each day.
Look into meditation and this book called Focus by Daniel Goleman, I'm reading that right now. There is also the book Mindset by Carol Dweck, PhD. These books will help you see that motivation is a bullshit concept.
Actions are the only thing that connect the thoughts in your mind to real-world results. If you wait for motivation you will die waiting.
It really depends on the person.
Here is a study that shows that many heavy marijuana users still have detriments to brain performance even after 28 days of abstinence.
There is no concrete number, but simply quitting marijuana is not enough. Of course it helps, but the brain is elastic and you need to work it. Read books, do Sudoku, get into chess, anything that requires using your brain to solve problems.
if you own an Android, look into the Quit Weed app, which is specifically for people who want to quit weed once and for all
As others have said, exercise. You will feel better. Below is an app to help begin running. If you're on Apple they have it too. Walk briskly if you have to but get out and exercise.
Excellent decision. I am also 20 years old, started when I was 15. Don't look back now, your life some time from now will be so much better than if you decided to just keep smoking.
I also highly recommend meditation as a way to handle cravings and also lessen your depressive symptoms and even get to the root cause of your pain. Check out Mindfulness in Plain English. There is a free pdf online.
Much luck and stick with it. You know this is the right thing to do, and the first step is always the hardest so keep on going!!
I would definitely recommend checking out /r/Meditation they have some great resources on it. The book I am currently reading which is a good intro is "Mindfulness in Plain English" you can download the pdf here http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html Best of luck and keep strong.
3 years smoking damage can be undone, stop dwelling on the negatives, you've decided to make a positive change, give yourself a chance.
I smoked heavily for 20 years and I've already (after 6 weeks) noticed a huge improvement in my lungs.
I would go further and suggest that maybe pot hasn't been the root of the problem, but may have been something that you have used to medicate, deal with or treat other issues.
Cold turkey worked well for me, so did talking on this forum, so did going for a walk and playing pokemon go to take my mind off my smoking routine, so did this app https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bamyagrafik.bamyasoft.sigarayibiraktim&hl=en
It is easy as long as you are motivated. There are withdrawals, there are ups and downs, but in my experience it has been well worthwhile.
The libido-problem might be from sleep deprivation? Not enought quality sleep is the cause of a lot of problems. Did you have problems sleeping before you started smoking? A lot of stress right now?
If its only the absent of cannabis that makes you sleep bad you should be able to get good sleep pretty soon.
My best tips for sleeping better:
Keep going!
Move your body, and your mind will follow.
A multitude of studies are now showing correlation between regular exercise and mental health. I highly recommend biking - low impact, high speeds, transportation, aerobic... I used to be addicted to weed and alcohol, now I'm addicted to strava https://www.strava.com/
It will help your depression IMMENSELY.
/u/mortokes provided good advice. to that, I'd like to add that flux helps by reducing the color temperature of your computer screen. by default, your computer will have a color temperature similar to sunlight which affects your circadian rhythm. also, change the light bulbs in your house to bulbs with a color temperature near 3300k for the same reason.
Go cold turkey. I know that tapering down sound more appealing, but it does not work and in reality it sucks, because it just prolongs the detox. Also, going cold turkey with weed is not medically dangerous. With some substances you just can not go cold turkey.
I do not really know what plan do you want to hear. The plan is to stop smoking now and stick with it, it will be hard at the start, but around the time THC will be completely out of your system (6-8 weeks), things will return to normal. You can not judge your situation after 1-2 days of smoking. You just have to resist. You know that is is worth it, but, I say it again: IT IS WORTH IT!
If you really want to quit, you can do it. The beginning is the hardest, not the first week or first days, as I often see here, but first 1 - 3 months. Thats the insidious thing about weed. It takes very long and it is not as destructive as other drugs, so you keep smoking, but then, ten years go by....
Anyway, good luck man. All you have to do is to not take single puff. One day at a time. You do not have to overthink it. Just go cold turkey and abstain completely, these are the rules. I recommend downloading for example this app to help you track your progress and most importantly you can watch what is happening with your body. Knowing that something is a withdrawal symptom is something very important, because lot of people tend to think that that is how they will feel forever.
Benefits of quitting lasts for a lifetime.
When you feel the desire for weed arise, right then is the time for you to work on lessening your attachment to it. You can do this by basically watching the desire, observing how it manifests physically in your body. For example when I feel desire for weed I get this tension in my chest, my heartbeat maybe starts raising a little, etc.
Essentially when you are able to locate the tension in your body that is created by the desire, if you breath into the tension, relax and truly let go of it, you will find it will also lessen the mental tension or attachment to the desire. You will find that the desire no longer affects you as much because it is just another passing sensation within you.
I highly recommend reading this:
http://m.choosehelp.com/topics/recovery/cravings-mindfulness-urge-surfing
It goes more in depth into this tool I gave you for overcoming the cravings.
I also highly recommend you learn to meditate now that you are going to be sober. It will help you so much in every aspect of your life and will most importantly definitely help you to stay sober. Check out Mindfulness in Plain English, there's a free pdf online.
Good luck man. You got this.
Charles Duhigs "The Power of Habit" explains a lot about addicton. The neural networks created by a bad habit or an addiction are never gone, it's just that the act of resisting the addiction creates new networks that in time becomes stronger and over power the old ones. And yet, if someone falls off the wagon, the brain can relight those old networks and the old habit returns even after years of resistance.
Hey man, I feel for you.
Get the book "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr David Burns. Read it through. It changed my life. I was having suicidal thoughts at the end of last year and reading this book turned it around for me. It's cognitive behavioral therapy without the therapist. DIY.*
I was definitely using trees to self-medicate anxiety and depression and I was never ready to quit until I resolved this mental shit. It is possible to deal with these negative thoughts/feelings without trees. I was really skeptical the book would help me but now I can't stop singing its praises.
I find the food aversion/nausea issue is helped when I forced myself to eat a little breakfast. The longer I went in the day without eating the worse I felt when I tried.
Drink lots of water. Go out for a walk. Cry if you need to, because it can be really overwhelming. If you need something to calm you down, try kava. It's like an herbal xanax, it takes the edge off and can help you sleep if you need it, without totally zoning you out.
It gets better.
The night sweats/chills/unable to regulate body temperature went away for me after a few miserable nights. It's maybe the worst part of withdrawal for me so I def understand how awful it is.
*Edited to add that there is no shame in seeing a professional, especially if the suicidal thoughts continue. I wasn't saying that DIY is the superior/only way, just that it's how I did it, not having insurance/$ for a doc.
You could try Khan Academy if you want some exercise for your brain. Its recomended a lot on reddit, it seemed to help me out when i thought i was getting slower. Plus its completly free.
We got you bro. This community has been awesome for me so far.
You're spot on with the 'feeling more intense emotions' thing. Just remember that your thoughts and feelings aren't necessarily 'real' (especially during the first week) and try to bring yourself back to present. Don't dwell on what you're feeling.
Nights are the worst part for me so I try to get bed earlier. I found this pretty easy when I was running twice a day with my dog, but now that I don't exercise as much it's gotten a bit harder. Forcing yourself to get up a bit earlier will help too, as well as avoiding ANY caffeine after 3pm (soda, chocolate, coffee, green tea). Have some herbal tea instead and chill, you'll get sleepy. Avoid staring at screens or if you are going to browse the internet, use something like f.lux.
For friends I don't have a lot of advice since I'm a bit older and making friends at university is probably different than making friends in your 30s (I went to a tech school so I have no idea). Maybe someone else can help.
Good luck man keep us posted.
+1 for melatonin, but keep in mind it's not a sleeping pill. It's not meant to knock you out, or "put you to sleep" so to speak. It's mean to promote sleep and get your body used to having melatonin at a certain schedule.
If you (like many) take it expecting the effects of a regular sleeping pill, you'll be disappointed.
So along with taking melatonin, you need proper sleep hygiene. Dim, or turn off lights at least an hour before bed. If you're adamant on using the computer before bed, use programs like flux to dim your screen, etc.
Hey buddy. I started at 14 as well and am 19 now. I, too, fear that it has inhibited my mental processes. I'm only 3 days clean right now but I'm going to support meetings and seeing a psychologist. Message me anytime if you have concerns and I'll let you know how my memory/focus improves over time. Also meditation is a great way to learn to focus. Try [this[(https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app) for a nice guided one.
Best of luck!
https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/binauralBrainwaveGenerator.php
This is a great free online generator. Beware alot of Youtube Videos that claim to binuaral are really just meditation music. Nothing wrong with calming music it's different from Binuaral Beats.
http://www.brainhq.com/ and meditation have been like steroids for my cognitive function lately. Found the site on a cool Amazon documentary, The Brain that Changes Itself
Try this app. It may assist you https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thehungrywasp.iamsober
I've only used it a month now but its cool way to track . Now that I'm aware of it, and best of faith to ya I know you got this !
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thehungrywasp.iamsober
I am Sober - Motivation for Tracking Soberty
it's a really nice app, with easy-to-setup controls, and (as you may have seen) great visuals. Good luck on your journey!
I can relate to that, I guess an occupied mind is forced to filter unrelated thoughts to maintain focus on whatever occupies it. But it's hard with lack of motivation and interest, I could frankly say I have no real hobbies anymore.
Psychology books and TED Talks have actually held a big part for my motivation to quit. It fascinates me.
Currently reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Power of Habit.
Thank you.
You can do it. The first days and weeks can be really rough and depressing but after you get out of the fog you realize that you can enjoy life without weed also. And what best you truly enjoy it.
But habits are really hard to fight against. What helped me was a book called The Power of Habit. I highly (heh) recommend it for everyone.
I highly recommend reading this http://www.deconstructingexcellence.com/the-power-of-habit-summary/
It's a summary of the book The Power of Habit, and it really helped me understand why I developed a habit of smoking.
Take it day by day, and focus on replacing weed with something else. And get comfortable with being bored. That will be your biggest enemy. Don't be hard on yourself and talk to yourself like you're your own best friend. It's okay to be bored when your sober and know that you do not need weed to be happy. It will always be there for you, and there's no hurry to smoke all of it at once or anything.
Hopefully that helps!
EDIT: Forgot to say, trying to smoke less every day is not gonna be as effective as stopping completely, at least for a while. You want to change a habit, just remember that. Replace weed entirely with something else you like to do, and really try to hang out with people who don't smoke.
First of all, thank you for your service. Secondly, don't be so hard on yourself! All you want to do is change a habit, and I can tell your mind is in the right place. I highly recommend the book "The Power of Habit." Think about how you would change any habit, and think about what you do right before you smoke. For instance, I noticed I like to smoke whenever I'm cooking and then eat while high. So now when I'm going to cook, I think "I have a habit of smoking at this time. I need to be very conscious of this and do things differently." So I can invite a non smoking friend over and have them help me with cooking. Or meditate right before preparing food instead. It's all about REPLACING your smoking habit with something else. That's the key.
Hopefully that helps. Good luck and thanks for reaching out to this community for support!
A solution that perpetuates the problem, at least as I experience it:
Emotional and intellectual processing can be painful/uncomfortable, and is 100% necessary to deal with the repercussions/results of any situation/event. Shut it down with weed for comfort, and the need builds up.
For me, my overactive mind will often create an extra strong need/desire to smoke (or drink) as a mechanism to calm my mind and soothe my fears about calming my mind (boredom), and help me process by slowing me down.
Seeking therapy now to deal with that underlying conflict. Find healthier ways of turning the need to process into productive internal conflict, and of facing whatever discomfort is behind that manic productive energy.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is telling me about myself to.
Hello, and welcome to /r/leaves! Your story sounds so similar to mine that we could be twins!
I had been smoking for about 13 years when I stopped. My whole adult life had been spent in a stoned haze so I pretty much had to learn to be an adult again. Some books that helped me:
The Power of Habit. I fully immersed myself in this book, doing the habit loop exercises and analyzing myself.
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. This one helped me curb cigarettes and it was too easy to draw parallels between my nicotine and marijuana use. This book does a great job of breaking the brainwashing we have over smoking.
Fill the time with gym, walks, reading, hanging out with someone from work, or go on some dates. I've been playing guitar for over 10 years, so I went and joined a bluegrass jam group to make some friends that don't have the element of weed anywhere in our relationship.
I quit cigarettes a couple months after I stopped using weed, but I wish I stopped earlier. The sooner you break away from them, the better.
The Power of Habit has helped me deal with withdrawals and cravings. I've been through every scenario in my head multiple times, so that when I do get a trigger I don't even have to think about it and just run on auto-pilot mode because I've been through it mentally many times.
Thanks for joining the discussion here and I hope to see you around!
If I had to recommend any single book to someone quitting marijuana and wondering, quite simply, what to do with themselves and their minds — it would be Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana. The text is available for free online. Great, practical introduction to mindfulness meditation (how to do it, and why.)
I know how you feel. I smoked heavily for 24 yrs and quit about 13 months ago. It is a bitch, but def gets better over time. You are going through the worst of it right now.
Mindfulness meditation is what helped me more than anything. Since you will no longer be smoking weed, you need to learn a new way to relax and calm your mind.
I meditate twice a day now. The piece of mind this has given me is incredible. No way I could have made it this far without it.
I used a book called Mindfulness in Plain English to teach myself to meditate.
Best of luck!
I've read a few recently that have been really great: "10% Happier" by Dan Harris was the one that really turned me on to meditation. I was very skeptical of the whole idea at first, and that book is written from a skeptical perspective; it's also hugely entertaining (I grabbed the audiobook version from my library). Aside from that, I've read two books by Alan Watts, who is just an awesome and insightful writer. "The Wisdom of Insecurity" was the one I read first, and then "Still The Mind." Enjoyed both. I'm currently reading "Mindfulness in Plain English;" you can find a free version of this online, and it's the most concrete and useful in terms of actually explaining how to meditate in the Vipassana or mindfulness style.
Good luck on your journey, and if you haven't done so yet, be sure to get rid of all of your weed, glass, vapes, everything. I couldn't quit until I tossed it all.
Trust me, i've been there. Things just doesn't seem interesting and you can't focus on anything for more than 5 minutes at a time, right? I know that feeling all to well.
Take long walks, alone. This will give you time to reflect on your life. It'll be hard, but worth it.
Also meditation can help a lot. It can make that stupid brain shut up, at least for a while :)
My two greatest tools have been meditation using "Holosync"(it's not free, but it can be cough "found" ;) The other is the book "The Power Of Now" by Echart Tolle, which is a bit "out there", but it really has some great ideas and not least great meditation exercises.
Hang in there, buddy, we are here to help each other! :)
I would turn it into a game. So you've gone 14 hours without smoking, great! See if you can go 24. If you go 24 and then find yourself smoking again, okay, try 36 next time. Then 48 hours. See how long you can go, and don't beat yourself up too hard when you fail.
Also - I would strongly recommend The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Very informative book on how we form and replace habits (tip from the book: we can't really "break" habits, we have to replace them with something else...check it out, awesome read)
Best of Luck! You Got This!!!!
I do vipassana and concentration meditation, with some body scans. 20-30 mins a day.
If you were looking to get started I would use:
•Guided meditation, which can be found in the 'talks" section at Dharma Seed: http://www.dharmaseed.org/
•The online book Mindfulness in Plain English. It's free with a little googling.
Dopamine and weed. I have the full-text of a scientific paper that shows concrete evidence that marijuana consumption induces dopamine release in the brain. I'll upload it here if you are interested: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8DYuLMaM7mua0tkNV9UVjlzcWs/edit?usp=sharing A lot of very interesting ideas in this paper, published in one of the most prestigious neurology/ pharmacology journals in the world. If there was any evidence that finally convinced me weed is addictive, this was it. Truly eye-opening research.
whats the situation? if youve got a few days before you get tested, try doing a dilution. search for 'drug tests' on reddit, and youll get a trove of information on how to do that. it only takes an average of 10 days - 2 weeks for chronic users to test negative on a 50ng/mL test and 3 weeks for a 20ng/mL test, so if you stop now youll be good to go for future tests. good luck, i hope everything goes well for you.
btw, source
Alternatively, if he uses firefox he could use the leechblock or the blocksite addons.
Ultimately though, the choice is always up to yourself. If you can't handle the internet, its best to just leave the computer off.
One thing you can try is meetup.com to find events and activities happening in your area by whatever interests you. I think it's a lot easier to meet, start a discussion, and tolerate people when there is at least a shared interest.
THIS GUY! With links and everything, good man.
I'm pretty sure exercise mobilizes the fat in your body because you need energy to do the running thing. This releases all the goodies still stored in your fat.
If you think therapy would benefit you (and it sounds like it likely would) you may want to seek out your local community resource center and see if you can receive free or very low cost therapy. There are also free/cheap online therapy websites like 7 Cups of Tea which can help get the ball rolling on managing your depression. From experience I can tell you it's very hard to quit when you feel hopeless. I wish you well, friend.
About the losing your friends the same thing happened to me.. I'm on day 5 (had a minor relapse this weekend - shit happens but I'm back on track, I decided to quit 17 days ago). I've seen my friends twice since, and if that is what it takes for me to feel better, so be it. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness, you are with yourself, you are not alone!
The next week or so will be the hardest, after that your mind will be faster and you will feel better, 2 weeks after that you will feel some kind of personal evolution, a new you. So what is a few days of pain if you will feel better for the rest of your life? Nothing!
Keep track of the days. I have a sticky note on my phone telling me what day I am on, so if I should feel the temptation I simply look at my phone and ask myself whether I want to lose all this progress to fulfil your momentary desire. I regret my relapse, because I chose to smoke while I was drunk.
You might fail, it happens. What defines your character is whether you get up again or stay on the ground feeling sorry for yourself. Remember this..
also I'd recommend that you read this letter Stephen King wrote to his 16 year old self: http://www.openculture.com/2013/10/stephen-king-writes-a-letter-to-his-16-year-old-self.html - It's inspiring.
Best of luck, hope it helps.
I'm an exceptionally troubled sleeper, and I find white noise really helpful. I use this website: asoftmurmur.com. I also go to bed at least an hour before I want to sleep, and I dim the lights but I don't turn them off. I chill in bed, I read or sometimes watch stuff that won't energize me (screens are not recommended, I know, but it really helps me stop thinking so it works for me). I usually doze off. If I wake up after dozing off and feel awake, I lay on my stomach with my eyes closed and think about how comfortable I am, or something along those lines.
For anxiety, I look around the room I'm in, I count the walls and I tell myself I'm here in this room and this is my reality. This usually helps me calm down, especially when I'm having racing thoughts.
It's all about switching from a passive mindset to an active one. Own your destiny.
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https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-active-mindset-a-sure-way-to-avoid-all-boredom-with-life
Its a deeper problem. If you find it hard to put the weed down and fear being clean like the fear of losing a friend. If being in a state of sober boardem is unbelievably brutal, its probubly a deeper problem. I personaly dont know the deeper reasons, however the types of ways they have effect on people tend to follow a pattern. Wanting to isolate oneself from friends and loved ones to get high, or others who get high cuz they will want some of your stuff. Going through giant hoops to scoop a bag. Wanting to get high during to good times to celebrate, the bad times to get through it, and the normal times just cuz. There are others, but im not about to write a book about it here. Personaly i ordered a book on amazon ( there ) to find out more about my addiction. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1578265657/ref=cm_sw_r_apa_NXYCxbBC2HR69
https://www.amazon.com/NatureBright-SunTouch-Light-Therapy-package/dp/B000W8Y7FY That's the lamp I got; there is a review on Amazon which explains why you should NOT use the ion therapy part of this otherwise excellent lamp.
You can find this album on iTunes and if you want to give it a try, one of the tracks is the short version of yoga nidra. It's the one I've mostly done and is great. If you like it you can get the long version track, too; I think the other track on the album is some weird yoga music, I just have the two guided meditation tracks. https://www.amazon.com/Experience-Yoga-Nidra-Relaxation-Remastered/dp/9197789429
I just have to throw the Quit Weed android app in here, because I think you might find it useful too. It offers all the functionality for free and is more quit focused
It is not that visually pleasing but consider trying "quit-meter" app suited specifically for weed. Quit Weed app is a fair resource of info on cannabis abuse in addition to the stats metrics.
Having suffered through internet addiction myself, I know what that can be like. But be wise in choosing a meditation app which has a lot of features because it'll encourage the same habit and you'll find yourself distracted more than meditating. To solve my problem I've made a minimal meditation timer and log, see if it solves your issue. It's only on Android for now and it's not free (nominal one time payment) but today is the last day of sale so you can get it for free forever. Here's the link: (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cranberrynx.strive_minutes)
Begin reading some self improvement books. First try The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and apply the principles. Read as much as you can. Cook more, exercise (at home via YouTube, walk for 30 mins 2x daily, or go to the gym) and do not nap during the day, leave sleep for the night. Sometimes, you just need to force yourself even though the mind does not want to, remember you are in control, not the mind.
I am sad to hear about your friend. My condolences. I ask the Gods to continue blessing his next journey in whatever happens next. That is a very tough one to handle. But know how much more resilient you are because of this. Don't dwell in the negative, dwell in the positive. It's ok to feel blue here and there.. cry all that you can. Crying is great for the body, mind and soul.
Have you thought about meditation?
Do you like reading? If so check out a book called 'The Power of Habit it explains in a very understandable way how habits work.
If you want to, and that but is key, you can form any habits you want which can override the habits you've already developed.
I your case you can easily develop habits which will replace your weed use, but you have to want to.
So, my simple advice would be set a nice realistic goal which you can't achieve if you keep smoking weed. Then work towards achieving that goal by establishing new habits.
For example:
GOAL: run 10km in under 1 hour.
HABIT(S) REQUIRED: going for a run every day
TIMEFRAME: 10 weeks
Good luck.
I highly recommend you get Dr. David Burns The Feeling Good Handbook and read the chapter on good communication techniques. This will help a ton and give you a few tools to use. Google Five Techniques for Effective Communication for a summary. Try to avoid 'you statements' and express yourself with 'I feel's statements such as 'I feel I need to live in a sober environment' as opposed to 'your smoking will make me relapse.'
Best of luck
I strongly advise Mindfulness in Plain English. Here's an older edition that's available for free online. I ended up buying the book because I liked it so much.
It's a really easy read, it's very motivating, and it really helped me learn how to meditate (and get the drive to really do it). It's worth checking out.
Just to add on to my comment: I recommend a short book called "The War of Art" by Stephen Pressfield. It covers the idea of resistance and how it is a constant force in our lives trying to prevent us from achieving what we really want. Realizing it is there is key. Indulging and giving in to this resistance (basically saying "fuck it" and being lazy) is a cornerstone of the stoner lifestyle.
Hey this is my first post in this sub and I'm not typically used to having my thoughts read so hopefully you can follow along.
I just finished reading "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg and I agree with everything you've posted about values. Duhigg talks about 'keystone habits' in an attempt to alter existing habits.
He prescribes that individuals experiment with different 'cues' and 'rewards' that can help to take the place of the 'routine' (ie. smoking weed). For those experiencing a relapse, just know that it is completely normal when dealing with addiction. The key is preparing for an eventual relapse and how to gain insight from that initial feeling of regret and disappointment. I highly recommended this book to anyone who is struggling with addiction as it as helped me to view habits as something that can be changed if you take control of your everyday decisions.
Thank you leaves, you've changed my life.
Welcome, friend. You are definitely in very similar company. Smoking weed is a good time, so if you smoke it all the time you'll have a good time all the time, right?
Here are two books that have helped me control my weed addiction:
The Power of Habit - Do the book and write out your own habit loops to get the most out of this book.
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking - Helped me get off cigarettes and weed.
"Weed is all about enjoying life, but life isn't all about weed."
Hello, I love smoking weed too. Lots of us here love it so much that we put it as the #1 priority in our life.
The world isn't forcing you to change because "fuck you stoner!", it's forcing you to change because your marijuana use has interfered with your finances. There's a quote around here that goes like "Weed is all about enjoying life, but life isn't all about weed."
I smoked at least 2 blunts a day from age 14-29 and had a hard time adjusting my habits when I felt like the weed was doing more harm than good. The book The Power of Habit helped a great deal in analyzing and changing my habits, I'd recommend it to anybody looking to make a lifestyle change.
Hope you're able to sort it all out and have a great and happy life! Love and peace!
You shouldn't really think of it as a replacement, since you are unlikely to meditate for nearly as much time as you spent being high. Meditating can be very difficult.
I'm a big fan of meditating, but you get out what you put in. I mostly use it as a tool when I'm having a rough time at this point, so I meditate 'as needed' which ends up being like, a couple times a month. As my sobriety builds up I may try to get back into a regular practice. The book Wherever You Go, There You Are was my introduction to it. There are a lot of good books abut it. I think you will get a lot more out of it if you try reading about it first. Good luck!
Nothing against the Headspace app, never used it myself. That being said, in another post you mention being overwhelmed by the volume of knowledge out there, which is true, but the simplest way I think to see the benefits of meditation is to just sit. Sit down for 10 minutes, close your eyes, and try to focus on your breath. You are going to get distracted, almost immediately. THAT'S OKAY! Just bring yourself back to your breath. As far as reading I recommend Mindfulness in Plain English. It's less than $10 shipped on Amazon and very approachable. And of course r/meditation.
When I realized I needed to quit I too came to the realization that eventually I had to stop, so I should stop putting it off. There was no way I wanted to continue my life in a haze. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about meditation of just quitting in general! It's very helpful to have a community of people who understand what you're going through.
Here's what I've read since I started the process of quitting back in December:
A few helpful things:
Throw away all your equipment; lighters, bongs, etc.
Associate with happy, forward thinking people.
Delete any contacts in your phone that could lead you in the wrong direction, if you're serious about quitting then there's no point in keeping them.
Read, or pick up another healthy hobby. I'm reading "The Intelligent Investor", by Benjamin Graham, right now.
Go to the store and get 3mg melatonin, and take one every night at 8:30 and go to bed after having around a half-liter of water. This is what I did and I still do it if my sleep schedule is off. It's a way to get very healthy sleep, which will help you think clearly.
Admire your savings!
Every person has a different experience with quitting their drug of choice. A month really isn't a long span of time. Life requires some balance. You spent a year using one tool to deal with your problems. A kitchen knife dulls and stops cutting like it used to. What you have now is a problem that needs a different solution to balance out the equation. It took thousands of years for a man to be born and discover E=mc^2. The problems don't dissolve in a snap, and that's something that everybody who begins the search for recovery eventually discovers. Give yourself permission to feel crappy when you need to feel crappy, and give yourself permission to recover at your own pace. I heard Tom Sizemore on Dr. Drew Pinsky's radio show Loveline say that things will feel like they aren't better until after the first six months of sobriety, but things do get better. I had three months without weed and it took two months to feel like I wasn't miserable every day. My life isn't heaps and bounds better, but my opinion of myself has gained better self-acceptance.
My best advice is to look into some reading that could help you. I first started with reading books for Adult Children of Alcoholics. I went to maybe 7 or 8 Anonymous meetings (which are filled with people who are often very nice to each other). I recently bought Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and also found that very helpful (priced at $3 on my copy and about 100 pages).
You'll get better as you discover your problems and teach yourself how to deal with them. It's time consuming and uncomfortable. I literally just read in Stephen King's Desperation, "Life isn't about drawing a straight path around the uncomfortable things. You used to know that," as an address to a character that's a recovered alcoholic, though I'm paraphrasing. Best wishes to you.
When you stop smoking weed, all the feelings that were numbed by the weed will arise. When they do, allow them to be what they are and they will pass. Don't get too caught up in the past, because it's the past, we all have one and nobody on the planet can change it. You have the present and you have a future, both of which YOU can impact in whatever direction you choose. Check out a book called Mindfulness in Plain English. It'll help with the overwhelming feeling that happens when you first stop smoking.
You didn't learn to be a stoner overnight, so you're going to have to relearn how to live not stoned. And that's okay! Take it day by day, hour by hour, sometimes even minute by minute. Every time you don't give into a craving you get stronger. Cheering you on!
Not directly about quitting anything, doesn't mention pot, but The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, by Charles Duhigg, was in incredible read for me. It helped me identify that smoking is a habit. I saw my cue, preformed my routine, and got my reward. Now I've changed my routine and get the same excitement and fulfillment.
Exercise, proper diet (healthy food and, since you can't rely on the munchies anymore, enough food). What really helped me to escape reoccurring negative thoughts was meditation: never really managed to quit any destructive pattern until I started meditating daily. If you're interested read 'Mindfulness in Plain English' (available online for free)
Your head is in the right place man. I'm about to quit smoking pot for a month because I feel like its too good of an emotional vent for me. In the past I've had excess emotions and pot let me handle that shit, but now I have better ways to handle it. As for advice I would suggest reading/listening to The Power of Habit and Allen Carr's The Easy Way To Quit Smoking. Carr's book is about quitting nicotine, but since I just used his method successfully (3 weeks cold turkey) I am transferring the ideas to weed. I started by deciding what I am going to do when I feel the urge to get high. Well instead of dealing with emotion or relaxing by chemicals I'm going to go to the gym, ride my bike, read a book, go strike up a conversation. Figure out what needs you are satisfying when you smoke and how you can fill those needs in a NEW BETTER way. Make those new things sound better in your mind than smoking weed. Don't think of the fun times with weed, but think of the bad times. Do you really think if you pick up a joint/hit a pipe right now, its going to be one of those great times? I think for you and me both it won't be. So why spend your time doing something that doesn't help you, just because it once did. This is a great video for expressing that last point of mine. You're going to do great man!
Hey man, you mentioned habits a couple of times in your post....have you read the The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg? You might find it interesting. It mentions the theory that we each possess what he calls "Keystone Habits" (like stopping smoking) that if altered have the ability to affect many of our other behaviours. It is an interesting read. (I can't say it is the greatest book in the world but worth at least a skim through). Also, I cant post about habit related books without mentioning my favourite habit related book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. That one I give 2 thumbs up for! Hope it helps......
Meditation has really helped my anxiety. Go for it. This free online book (Mindfulness in Plain English)is heavily referred to on reddit for meditaiton, but that's because it's very good: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html
I would recommend the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Carnegie. It can really help you make good habits so you ARE productive, wasting less time and procrastinating less.
Congrats on 6 months sober.
On that note, let me recommend a book called Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I recommend you buy a cheap version of this in paperback -- most stores have it in the philosophy or psychology section. It is short and in plain language.
I recommend you go out in nature somewhere, if your local climate permits, and read it outside.
(Aimed at OP, but generally speaking to the subreddit as well)
Thats probably because you wake up in REM or middle of the dream. Try a bedtime calculator to wake up outside of the REM cycle. Helped me a ton: sleepy time
Movie: Banking on Bitcoin
Sparked a legitimate interest in Crypto for me and I am looking at investing.
TV Show: Mad Men
1960s New York: Cigarettes and Sexism
This is me too. Smoking made me isolate myself as all I wanted to do is get high. So I lost friendships because I chose not to go out and instead spend the day/night smoking. It's kinda ironic since one of the main reasons I was smoking was to deal with my loneliness. After being 5 months sober, I pretty much never feel lonely. As I said, I lost friendships so I'm at a point where I don't even have any friends but I don't feel lonely. With weed, I felt lonely and mary jane was my best friend and would fulfill that need. It ended up being a vicious cycle. You can be around a bunch of people and still feel lonely. What it comes down to is connection. If you want to meet new people I'd suggest taking up hobbies and going to workshops and meetup.com is a great way to meet new people. I think when it comes down to it, you have to be comfortable with yourself and have self-love and acceptance of yourself. Anyway, thats what's worked for me.
It is called “Blue light” and it is very underestimate problem for our and next generations: https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/blue-light-has-a-dark-side
I recommend: - Install flux on your PC, smartphone (iOS has similar thing already build in): https://justgetflux.com/
Depends on when your bedtime is. If you're like me and have delayed sleep phase issues, taking it between half an hour to two hours before your desired bedtime is usually a good plan if you've got 5mg doses. Earlier if they're smaller. Also try and dim your lights as much as you can - blue light epsecially. Flux is a pretty handy for this, Win 10 also has a built in version in the notification area, but it's not automated though.
>but get abit worried I'll lose my mind
Better than your life.
I used a medication, I was a hardcore spliff head, like sometimes 50 fat-boys a day. I thought I would die but accepted it because a life without nicotine was unimaginable. You should speak to your doctor as Champix isn't available anymore. I also found this extremely helpful. Good luck man.
asoftmurmur.com is awesome and I literally fall to sleep with it every night!
I'm a screen addict and using f.lux filters the harsh blue light and makes failing asleep afterwards that much easier.
thanks for the hint with the ecig i might wanna check that out. 5 am here still havent slept yet haha. but i feel ok about it just gonna sit thru. watching some youtube vids listening to some movies.. as for the melatonin pills i think i will prefer the natural way haha. f.lux is a cool program tho if u struggle to "get tired" in front of your bright desktop in the evening https://justgetflux.com/, really makes you sleepy (usually lol)
> great writeup! > very thoughtful!
Thank you! I appreciate your reply.
> Rediscovery too has started to work! (im on day 4)
Congratulations!
> Studies have shown looking a screen in the evening makes it much harder for your brain to go into sleep mode so thats a good thing too
True that. The program flux reduces the blue light monitors emit to reduce eyestrain, but it's still no substitute for switching the thing off at night.
How long have you quit? And how long did you smoke?
You can vigorous exercise. You can do Melatonin (just be careful) and a warm cup of chamomile tea.
Personally, I used the exercise one and in time, I am sleeping somewhat better after 4 months clean.
If I may, I would suggest downloading f.lux, it's a program that "makes the color of your computer's display adapt to the time of day, warm at night and like sunlight during the day."
I've had it installed for about a month now and as someone who spends a lot of time looking at digital screens, I found that it really did help with falling asleep quicker.
Edit: forgot to include link: https://justgetflux.com/
> I believe that's part of what prompted me to abuse marijuana in my mid-teens
Yes, you should check this guy on youtube : https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gabor-mate-addiction_n_569fd18ae4b0fca5ba76415c?s284obt9=
Just some advice I gave to another person earlier, but I think it applies to everyone quitting. Also a bit updated!
Stay strong! It might be hard in the start, but it'll get better, and before you know, you will have energy you never knew you had, you want to do things you only dared dreaming of in the past. I'm on 100+ days, and while I have a craving once in a while, it's been a long time since I've been this good.
Things that has helped me are; stay away from enablers, make it clear to your friends that you quit smoking (maybe even saying you don't want to socialise with them if they are smoking), exercise, picking up new hobbies. The few times I was on the verge of breaking, I've made a pros/cons list, and the pros always outweigh the cons. Also this has helped me a lot, it has visualized my progress, and felt I've actually done something, nothing more satisfying than putting in a link for a new week.
One last thing, if you relapse, then you relapse, no big deal. The big deal is if you beat yourself up because of your relapse, and it starts a continues circle of relapsing and being sorry for yourself. Just get back up on the horse, and learn from your relapse, it'll only make you stronger. Good luck and stay strong my friend!
Also, think of all the things that you are able to do, now that you aren't "too high" to do it. I've most recently picked up programming (shout out to code academy!) I'll probably soon pick up knitting, to make some warm stuff for autumn/winter, and as I mentioned previously; exercise, it's fucking great.
If it's wintertime where you are, days should be at about their shortest this time of year. Once the sun sets, keep the lighting in your house to a minimum. Try not to watch TV or use the computer for a few hours before bed. Also try downloading f.lux, a program that changes the hue of your computer screen based on the time of day.
Routinely showering before bed or having some kind of pre-bedtime ritual can help. Heck, my girlfriend gets sleepy when she takes off her glasses because her brain has so associated blurry vision with bedtime.
If you're at a loss of things to do in the hours before bed without television or a computer, I'd casually suggest reading, doing puzzles, or doing housework.
Even if you can't sleep or sleep poorly, wake up at the same time every day. Do not allow yourself to nap. It will be a grumpy day, but eventually your body will begin to cooperate.
Let me guess, staring into a computer screen all the time? This fixed my insomnia https://justgetflux.com/
I also try watching the patterns against my eyelids as a form of meditation. That works too.
Withdrawal symptoms are temporary. In the meantime you could try things to strengthen your memory and focus. You could try some memory games online or get a mindfulness meditation tape and start practicing focus and concentration that way. There are lots of easy ways to start meditation (which is just really a way to develop focus and concentration). Good luck! I personally use a memory game called "Dual N-Back," there is a very good free version online at http://brainworkshop.sourceforge.net/