What are /r/raisingkids' favorite Products & Services?

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I'm in IT and I would second this. If you're looking for content filtering (which it sounds like you are for the most part) OpenDNS running at the level of your network is a great way to do that without leaving any software installed locally that he could potentially remove. OpenDNS has a number of free options as well as a paid service that would provide some of the analytics you'd want to be able to see if he'd potentially run across something malicious/disturbing, what websites he's spending his time on, etc. It's also updated far more frequently than most installable content filtering software. https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/

I would also strongly recommend setting him up as a standard on the new machine. Reserve the administrator account for yourself to assist with software changes and system settings modifications. This setup would also allow you to set the local DNS on his computer to point to OpenDNS without filtering setup for the entire household (network level) if you'd prefer that configuration and would prevent him from modifying the DNS settings once you've changed them. Forgive me if any of that was over-explained. :) Hope that helps!

I highly recommend No Bad Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. Both books helped me tremendously as a parent, and helped me parent the exact opposite of how I was raised. One of the most important things at this age is consistent, clear boundaries, and standing your ground. Do not make empty threats - follow through.

I hate to start off at the most extreme possibility, but is it possible your child has experienced some kind of abuse?

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/child-abuse/symptoms-causes/syc-20370864

This is a non-article and a lazy attempt at content marketing by NordVPN.

tl;dr here are some statistics about which countries are installing parental monitoring at the highest rates: Pakistan, Russia, Vietnam. Also, Europe is the region with the largest growth over last year.

That's pretty much the whole thing.

We picked up this book (It's Not the Stork!) based on suggestions from a Facebook parenting group, and it's been a hit with our 6 year old son. He was fascinated by all of it, and it does a good job of keeping it factual and grounded without getting into overly explicit detail, leaving that for other books in the series that are aimed at older age groups.

Yeah, "stophitting.com" made me not even click through. Luckily, there is a ton of actual research done on the subject. There's a lot of information there, and some of it is contradictory. There's tons of kids who are raised with and without spankings, though, and as long as the line isn't crossed into abuse, it seems to have little overall effect on mental health or criminal activity (neither a reduction nor increased likelihood are seen at significant levels).

On average it is less safe, though if you are properly cautious the difference is negligible. This means: large enough bed, no heavy blankets, neither parent is obese (sorry, but that's a significant covariate), no alcohol before bed, ideally no pillows.

My wife and I used a co-sleeper in the bed like this: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Delight-Snuggle-Portable-Sleeper/dp/B085MGV79X/ref=asc_df_B085MGV79X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=459775256876&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7944335943943427288&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&...

though it was mostly used for hard times. Usually we kept ours in a bedside bassinet until we moved them into a crib around 4 months.

Doctors warn against vaginal seeding due to known risks of infection: https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/news/20171025/docs-warn-against-vaginal-seeding-for-newborns

From the OP article:

> Stinson explains. "But there are certain risks, such as unintentionally transferring dangerous bacteria or viruses to the newborn, so we wanted to find out if these risks were justified. "Our review is useful to new mothers who are concerned about delivering by cesarean section. Hopefully it will make them think twice about vaginal seeding, a process that can potentially introduce dangerous infections"

>Health practitioners should not bow to popular pressure to perform vaginal seeding in the absence of data on need, effectiveness, and appropriate protocols for ensuring safety.

I bought a retractable baby gate that is 40 inches tall. My daughter is only 13 months, but she is a monkey and climbs anything and everything she can!. This was the only way to keep her out of the kitchen when I cook.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084D687DY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_.IUvFb6S5MGBX

I don't buy it. The growth theory (IMHO) is about a few things but arguably most importantly it's about teaching kids how to perceive themselves in relation to the world. Is it more effective, does it help them grow into healthier, happier adults, if they learn that they have autonomy and a degree of control over their lives, or rather subject to external forces beyond their control? To me it's a no brained raise them to believe they can impact their life. (I realize it's not that absolute in either theory but it's the essential idea) I appreciate the research changes constantly but the notion of ownership of the Self seems to be consistent. We see it in literature, philosophy, psychology (eg Man's Search for Meaning), religion. It's something that adults need to learn (and re-learn) I can't imagine why the anti-growth mindset would be attractive in the least. And I do agree with his notion that everyone can't be anything they want. That's actually a separate but related issue

I like to use justwatch.com to find where shows are streaming. It's not 100% accurate, but usually pretty good. You can set your country, but if you are in the US, justwatch thinks you can stream on hulu, or there are a few options to rent/purchase:

https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/far-from-the-tree

I like this book: https://smile.amazon.com/Lifetimes-Beautiful-Explain-Death-Children/dp/0553344021/

For explaining death to kids (it even helped calm me when my mom died.). It's not religious if that matters one way or the other to you.

How old is she? For my oldest she couldn’t stand anything that was uncomfortable that she couldn’t control—so rinsing shampoo out of her hair was torture.

I got this shampoo rinse bucket and (with a little assistance) she would rinse her hair by herself.

Mighty Clean Baby Shampoo Rinse Cup | Baby Bath Rinser Pail to Wash Hair and Wash Out Shampoo by Protecting Infant Eyes - Kids Bathing Without TEARS https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07LFMFK9X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3R003KRFC5X2XZJGBNXB

We use Super Duper Safety School

https://www.amazon.com/Super-Duper-Safety-School-Grown-Ups/dp/0984747214/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=super+safety+school&qid=1600284957&sprefix=super+safe&sr=8-3

For parents, there is Protecting the Gift

https://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=protecting+the+gift+by+gavin+debecker&qid=1600285060&sprefix=protectong+the&sr=8-3

I have long been citing the Lancet study which showed

>The relative risk of breast cancer decreased by 4.3% for every 12 months of breastfeeding in addition to a decrease of 7.0% for each birth.

Which means that a woman who has 3 children and breastfeeds them each for 1 year would have a greater risk reduction than a woman who has 1 child and breastfeeds that child for 3 years, due to the extra risk reduction of pregnancy. But in general, for whatever kids you have, nursing longer further decreases your risk.

It appears there is no active threat caused by this, see this comment which summarizes the current situation pretty well and the official Minecraft blog post.

It’s like Dr. Shefali says, your kids hold the mirror, and teach you valuable lessons about yourself. the book

My wife and I both liked "Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children".

Neither of us are Buddhists but I thought it had a lot of practical advice anyway.

https://smile.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children-ebook/dp/B006O3QOL6/

Yes thank you! I’m probably showing my age, haha. One of the books I bought was this one by Melissa and Doug.

Melissa & Doug Play House! Reusable Sticker Pad https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004PBLP5O/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_JZKQ33JPZTZSDXDPSHTP

We really like this series of books. The next one in the series is "It's so Amazing" which is recommended for 7-10 year olds, so the OP might want to consider that one also. If you haven't talked at all about this, I'd probably start with the first book (It's not the stork), and then read this one next: https://smile.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/

The book is up on amazon! I decided to self publish since it’s easy and fast haha. All the profits will be donated to COVID relief so please check it out! Thanks for the support!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D4Y29DW/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=my+precious+dollar+book+childrens&qid=1595127717&sr=8-3

Do you have a budget? There are a lot of good ready-to-make crafts you can do with a 9yo, but it might cost a little money. Could you ask the parents for a few dollars a day to cover some supplies? It'd probably still be cheaper than after care.

You could purchase kits like these which out to be good for several hours each:

• https://smile.amazon.com/Klutz-Make-Clay-Charms-Craft/dp/0545498562/

• https://smile.amazon.com/ALEX-DIY-Knot-A-Quilt/dp/B000F3V2R2/ref=sr_1_2

If you are looking for something on the cheaper end, you can knit, crochet, or sew (if you don't know how, it could be fun to learn together).

This is a bit expensive, but for a special treat, you could look for an escape room. We just did one with our 9yo and it was really fun.

What board games does she like? Is it just the two of you?

If you feel comfortable with this, we have made video games in scratch with our daughter. Scratch is a free "programming language" for kids. It's easy to use. Perfect for a 9 year old. You access it through your web browser.

We are following this book, which I like a lot. https://smile.amazon.com/Games-Play-Scratch-How-Code/dp/1682970841/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=20+games+in+scratch&qid=1554009948&s=gateway&sr=8-1

In order to believe one can't impact their children's lives is to believe nature is 100% and nurture is 0. I think that Idea has pretty well been debunked at this point. ("Man's Search for Meaning" pretty much suck the last ounce of determinism out of me)

Again, were a long way away from understanding the ratio of nature/nurture but to me it's absurd to say it's 100/0.

So let's stipulate for a moment that nature is 99% and nurture is 1% it seems absurd to essentially walk away from the 1% one can impact.

I'm speaking very simplistically about a very complicated issue, but look at gene expression as one example. Our environment can impact our genes and how they actually "express" themselves. bottom line, if the number is above zero, you can impact quality.

I can imagine this would be a great one to read with the kids. Let them control where the characters go on the iPad, or a tablet whilst you read with them.

Taken from the app description: >"Burly Men at Sea is a folktale about a trio of large, bearded fishermen who step away from the ordinary to seek adventure.

>Set in the waters of early 20th-century Scandinavia, the game's story branches through a series of encounters with creatures from folklore. You play as storyteller and wayfinder, shaping the narrative around three ungainly heroes. Play through once for a single tale, then set sail again to uncover paths to new adventures."

It looks like there is iOS, Android & PC versions available.

I hadn't considered support for platforms and resources. Thanks for that. Just to make sure, coderpiller, is it this one? https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Think-Learn-Code-a-Pillar-Twist/dp/B07MLXX9NN

I guess I won't worry too much about getting coding toys until she's a bit older then. Thank you for your insight! See, this is why I come to reddit!

Thanks for the heads up. IMO 90%+ of netflix TV shows are complete crap.

Let's see, age 4.... Maybe you can steer her to Strawberry Shortcake?: https://www.netflix.com/title/70287605

They only have season 4 on there now, which IMO is the worst season (addition of a mean spirited character, means there is more negative behavior), but it still sounds better than Mia.

Trying to think what else is not too bad for that age on Netflix: Lego Friends

Odd Squad is a great PBS show that is on amazon. Annedroids on Amazon is good.

We also really liked Franny's Feet and Justin Time. Not sure if they are amazon or netflix though. Angelina Ballerina is also pretty good.

This book helped me quite a bit: https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Sensitive-Boy-Ted-Zeff-ebook/dp/B004P5NVHA?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=ee87a8e1-087f-4aed-a248-eba945dfab6f#:~:text=%22The%20Strong%2C%20Sensitive%20Boy%20offers,has%20in%20true%20masculine%20power.

My library has it on audiobook for free through Hoopla, and I've listened to it several times over the years. Definitely recommend it. It helps tremendously, even if it's just being reminded of what's within the realm of normal for them, how things may change, and what I can do to support him and empathize with him along the way.

My son is now 7 (oldest of my 3), and has changed quite a bit from when he was your son's age. He went through the same things, finding playdates with other peers overwhelming because they were not sensitive to others, finding it hard to assert himself when he had a headstrong friend or around pushy kids. He always did better with one one one playdates, and with calmer kids (not necessarily HSPs themselves). I learned to just let him approach situations and the world at his own pace, not push him to do things he didn't want to do and just let him observe (even if it takes several times of being exposed to a new experience, or if there are regressions). Always support, and never let him feel judged or be judged/labeled as shy or timid for not leaping into things like his peers, friends and family. Also recognize that HSPs are big thinkers, very analytical and processing way more information than their peers in every decision or action they take.

Now, he's much more outgoing, much better at asserting what he wants, and much more adventurous. He still takes time to warm up to new experiences, but he feels much more confident and safe in the world and ready to participate. It really does get better as they get older and learn how to work with their temperament as long as they feel they have the space and support to approach things at their own pace.

I don’t have much experience in the age range of your child, because my LO is 5 months. However, I thought I’d mention you can get a bottle that’s got a baby bottle teat on the end and comes with a sippy cup teat (that’s made from silicone) to change to once they get use to the bottle, I have one for my LO to help us transition when she’s ready. You could give it a try if you haven’t already! I’ve linked it below.

https://www.amazon.com/Tommee-Tippee-Closer-Transition-BPA-Free/dp/B07S8DXBZN/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?keywords=tommee+tippee+sippy+cup&qid=1653604884&sr=8-6

The way home for wolf by Rachel Bright

It's beautiful and there's a few more books in the series about different animals that he might like.

you should check out the funniest most adorable pickle out there https://www.amazon.com/Wacky-Adventures-Tony-Pickle-Childrens/dp/B088N91XB4

​

making toddlers laugh at every page turn

How about the Hobbit? We started with the graphic novel versions:

https://www.amazon.com/Graphic-subtitle-illustrated-fantasy-classic/dp/0345445600

I don't think it's as scary as LOTR. I also used to orally tell the story from memory to my daughter & her cousins. I'd read a few pages of the graphic novel to refresh my memory, then I'd adapt and tell what I rememberd for 15 minutes each night. Worked very well, and you can just omit/adapt any parts you think are too scary.

I always recommend "How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk." That was the most useful/practical parenting book we read. If you find parenting stressful at times, I also really liked "Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children".

https://smile.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889/

https://smile.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1742373771/

We have puddle jumpers for our two year old, he loves them. For the actual learning to swim we used an easyswim vest, you start with a load of floatation help and can slowly decrease that as the child learns to swim.

Pool Floats Kids 3 Pack Pool Floats Toys for Kids Summer Fun Inflatable Glitter Swim Tubes Rings Outdoor Pool Beach Water Floats Party Supplies Kids Floaties https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SHRHCXZ/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_PGRPTR9XT7DSWP7XZJTE

We purchased this swim ring for my son last summer and were blown away but how much it has helped him learn to swim on his own!

It gives them range of motion that they don't have with the rings or armbands and keeps him upright 100% of the time (we swam easily 20-30 hours a week last summer). I think the arm bands aren't a great learning tool because they can't move their arms very freely and they still have a large safety risk. By the end of summer, he was kicking on a kick board and treading water/swimming mostly on his own without it.

I've heard of that before, but never tried it. Do you use fresh or frozen? How much spinach goes into a smoothie?

My daughter likes 'kale chips'. This recipe seems to be pretty close to what we do: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/baked-kale-chips/ They really do taste pretty good.

We also supplement with a liquid multivitamin most days.

> How To Get Unstuck From The Negative Muck: A Kid’s Guide To Getting Rid Of Negative Thinking

Reviews look good and seems to be an interesting book. Thanks for the recommendation.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Unstuck-Negative-Muck/dp/0985360925?#customerReviews

https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004

Protip: If you're reading adoption material from the perspective of those who have adopted, stop. Read whatever you can find that's written from the perspective of the adopted child. There is significant over-representation in media of the voices of parents who have adopted and hardly anything written by the adoptee. Many many adoptive parents write about their child (often without consent) and I strongly suggest you read more written by adoptees instead.

As a speech language pathologist who has worked with children ages 2-13 in both early intervention and school settings, you’re concerns are valid. Lack of communication with infants and toddlers can drastically impact their language development. What you have described sounds a lot like a language delay and your sister would likely benefit from being evaluated by a speech language pathologist at her school. School evaluations are free. It is something that can be requested by parents or teachers and the results of testing can lead to accommodations in school to help your sister thrive. There is a fantastic book that discusses the importance of talking with and around young children called Thirty Million Words: Building a Child's Brain https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525954872/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_G5ZB8RARXJ3860Q72HMN

It is absolutely never too late to seek help, and it sounds like you are looking for a way to help your sister. If you are able, talk with her teachers and let them know your concerns, they likely have seen some of the things you have observed.

Phillipa Perry’s book (The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read: (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1984879553/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_GRDCZGDJSRRZ0CQ911ER ) is about breaking the cycle of abuse/ bad parenting and I really couldn’t recommend it more! Then there is Janet Lansbury (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704 ) about respectful parenting, which is a beautiful way to look at raising children.

I installed a GPS tracker on my son' cellphone so that I can know his whereabouts anytime and keep him safe even I'm far away. Once I know he accesses some inappropriate places, I can take action at once to protect them.

>the head wear solutions are useless

It sounds like you've tried the visor things to keep the water out fo their face? We had one like this:

https://smile.amazon.com/Locsee-Adjustable-Waterproof-Silicone-Protection/dp/B08ZJD9K85

It worked great for us. What's not working for you?

>This is a non-article and a lazy attempt at content marketing by NordVPN.

I agree the article is not very good. I downvoted it because of this, but I didn't remove it because the OP's profile did not look like a spammer, so I left it up for the community to decide. If you honestly think something is spam, feel free to hit the 'report' button and mark it as spam. Enough community reports and it will get removed automatically and identified for moderator review.

My kids and I have enjoyed reading this short-sweet story about the strange time of Covid.. Its called People Stayed Home by Kitty O'Meara.

For helping our kids enrich their own free-time learning without necessarily requiring more work from us, my wife and I have found this book to be really helpful: https://www.amazon.com/INDOOR-IDEAS-Activities-Kids-Outside/dp/B08P3SBN7N?

I recommend getting the paperback instead of the ebook version since it's easier for kids to just pick a random page in a real book.

You don't have to spend a lot of money to get alarms on your entry points. This kit on Amazon is relatively inexpensive, and they work a charm. I have some freezers in my basement that my kids forgot to close a couple of times, and I put these on them as a precaution. Now if someone doesn't close the freezer, the whole house knows about it!

I found this book to be super useful when I was having the same sorts of questions. It gives general ideas of how to talk about sex and sexuality, but also gives age-specific suggestions on topics like childbirth, abortion, and other things.

It's beautiful, except the line "For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake." This kind of doom & gloom wears me out. It's not nearly a 1:1 ratio of loved vs abused. And while no parent should expose their child to the unfiltered evil of our world, equipping them with tools to say NO is vital.

Yes yes to kitchen scissors! I also got my twins these knives when they were 2.5 to use to help me in the kitchen (supervised of course). They LOVE to cut their own things and it makes them way more apt to eat something new.

Let me know if you find solution that works. If you are from US, school counselor should be able to help. They deal with kids issue and are trained for this. Also try excercises from https://www.amazon.com/dp/1583242538

It's possible(likely) he doesn't know why he's doing it either. I have a friend who has always had destructive impulses, for no reason he would break something, hurt someone or do something just to see what happened. Why he did this is hard to say, but he was bullied when he was young and had a lack of stability. My guess is it was a way to feel control and power, but it was also amplified by boredom.

The thing that helped my friend the most was mindfulness, which is hard to get children to do but not impossible. Mindfulness helped him feel the impulse but not act on it, something kids are notoriously poor at in general. I've heard good things about these activities if meditation is off the table: https://www.amazon.ca/Mindful-Games-Activity-Cards-Mindfulness/dp/1611804094/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1UJSASDDA2NUK&dchild=1&keywords=mindfulness+cards&qid=1598046116&sprefix=mildfulness+cards%2Caps%2C183&sr=8-2

I have this one. It's a savior of my knees and elbows.

We got this one off amazon

The book is up on amazon! I actually mixed my original idea with yours so the concept of comparison is still there but it adds a mathematical concept as well. I’ve decided to donate all profits to covid relief!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D4Y29DW/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=my+precious+dollar+book+childrens&qid=1595127717&sr=8-3

Thank you so much for the idea!

We are in a similar boat. 3 and a half YO and 1 and a half YO. Here are a couple things that have been working lately for preschooler:

• Water play: buy a bucket and a bunch of water toys (search "bath toys" on amazon/target/etc). Put the preschooler in a swimsuit and place them in the bath tub w a small dribble of water coming out the the faucet. Put a stool next to the tub and you can sit there and answer emails, read documents, etc. You'll be shocked how long they can spend filling buckets, squirting a squirtgun, using bath crayons, etc.

• Puzzles: I had assumed my preschooler was still too young for jigsaw puzzles, but I was totally wrong. The key is to ramp up slowly. Start with a 2 piece puzzle, move to 4, 8, etc. I can't find the exact pack we used, but here is something similar. The sweet spot for us is around 48 pieces. Large enough to really take some time, but not too large to cause her to give up in frustration.

• TV: we try to use TV as a last resort, but there are some decent videos that can buy 30-45 minutes of solid work time. We are partial to activity videos where the kids follow along. Right now the preschooler really enjoys this yoga video.

Good luck!

>"Magic and some black and blue"

?? This one?: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A72710I/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3

I'd never heard of Zilpha Keatley Snyder before, but her books look interesting.

Maybe read some cute ghost stories with her, with nightmares I find it helps to have harmful images to put on top of the scary ones.

Something like this maybe; https://www.amazon.com/100-Ghosts-Gallery-Harmless-Haunts/dp/1594746478

Probably too late for you at this point, but I recommend the illustrated editions that they have been coming out with. They've been coming out with one new book a year, and unfortunately they only have the first 3 books, and the 4th one is being delayed (because it's so big), but we really enjoyed them and I think they are a great for young kids. Here's a link:

https://smile.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Illustrated-Collection-Books/dp/133831291X/

I have one of these, and i surround the top with baby proof bumper with the one below so he doesn't bump his head when he trys to stand and hit his head against it.

r/https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07H94F681?pf_rd_p=d1f45e03-8b73-4c9a-9beb-4819111bef9a&pf_rd_r=S7MR4P048W23QBEG9QAK

I just finished "Rules For Dating My Daughter: The Modern Father's Guide to Good Parenting." It's light reading - a web comic turned into a book via kickstarter, but it covers some very deep issues in a thoughtful way. I really recommend it to anyone who is interested in progressive issues as they relate to parenting.

https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Dating-My-Daughter-Parenting/dp/1941250114/ref=sr_1_7

If you have amazon prime, this is a great little series about how kids around the world live. Not just how they get to school, but how they play, eat, etc.:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015U22GQS/ref=dv_web_wtls_list_pr_11

Might be a good idea to read a parenting book or two. I think a good one to start with would be "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk."

http://smile.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1451663889

> The story made it sound like they were stories, with fun math problems worked in... really they are mostly "weird facts" (maybe a paragraph or two long), with math questions at the end that are only tangentially related.

We have the book Bedtime Math (http://www.amazon.com/Bedtime-Math-Excuse-Stay-Late/dp/1250035856/ref=sr_1_1), and it sounds like it's similar to the app. A couple of paragraphs of interesting facts, then some related word problems at the end.

That said, I do kind of like the book. It's a relatively painless way to sneak in a few word problems at the end of the day.