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It’s not for children. It’s a tongue in cheek book like the book “Go the Fuck to Sleep” It is real bible stories though. Here’s the amazon link from Canada; it’s got a decent-sized description. https://www.amazon.ca/Awkward-Moments-Found-Average-Childrens/dp/149217744X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?adgrpid=61491124739&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgIyb2amB5AIVj_5kCh2I6QTsEAAYASAAEgK2r_D_BwE&hvadid=310045490054&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9001437&hvnetw=g&...

Ooh, you should read a Chuck Tingle novelette. It's usually male on male porn, but you'll be in for a wild ride. Sometimes he's got lesbian stories though.

I don’t know if this is what DJKent was specifically referring to, but it seems pretty close. Overcoming the Spirit of Jezebel: Biblical ways to resist Sexual Perversion in a generation of Sexual Confusion. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1515336905/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_dkTwDb6VTV0VM

So... the bible was written hundreds of years after Jesus. It's fan fic.

Most of this picture is pretty OK if you want to interpret it historically.

If you want to rage-type about fan fiction written 1800 years ago, then, go ahead. You're just as guilty of bullshit interpretations of the bible as mormons and evangelicals - note: they're all bullshit.

"God is near you, with you, is inside you"

I've always chuckled at these type of quotes. Like, you're talking about penetration, but as long as god is a non-gendered deity, I guess it's not gay?

If you want a shit ton more of these stories, try the Awkward Moments Children’s Bible. The story about hundreds of foreskins is….just wow.

Satirical Amazon reviews are a thing.

This book got many hilarious ones.

Helping the Retarded to Know God: a Guide for Christian Teachers of the Mentally Handicapped

https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Retarded-Know-H-R-Hahn/dp/0570063507/

This review was very good: "The name of this book should be used as a subtitle to the bible."

Enjoy!

I mean he already played the role, literally

there are many examples of same-sex love in pre-modern christianity. check out "The Marriage of Likeness: Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe" by John Boswell -- https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Likeness-Same-Sex-Unions-Pre-Modern/dp/0006863264

They’re a thing

https://www.amazon.com/Skywin-Silicone-Can-Sleeve-Pack/dp/B081TM1XJX/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?adgrpid=113527336528&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI15fNxqO--wIV6vbjBx03uQ8iEAAYASAAEgLHkfD_BwE&hvadid=631496058222&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9015646&hvnetw=g&hv...

Better than this:

https://www.amazon.com/President-Donald-Trump-Son-Man/dp/1977249248/ref=sr\_1\_1?crid=SXDIYQHM8P4C&keywords=trump+christ&qid=1668188243&sprefix=trump+christ%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-1

Link that isn’t broken

To all the people thinking these are only rather silly behaviors or just isolated cases by extremists groups, think again. This type of thinking is common to eventually emerge in every Muslim community in Europe. Even where they are not the majority, they risk to eventually become the most noisy and dangerous part of their communities. Muslims themselves (those who are lucky to come from not extremist families) as much as every other religious/cultural group are equally a victim of it. These people don't see any other outcome beside being silenced by public force or using verbal and physical force themselves to limit everyone's freedom in the name of religion. I really suggest you read Oriana Fallaci's (one of the greatest female journalists of the last 50 years) Rage and Pride, which predicted Muslim's terrorism and extremism already in 2002. We need to shut this bullshit down everywhere it pops out.

Here's an actual bible scholar who thinks Jesus existed:

>Then I began to see that not just the scribal text but the original text itself was a very human book. This stood very much at odds with how I had regarded the text in my late teens as a newly minted "born-again" Christian, convinced that the Bible was the inerrant Word of God and that the biblical words themselves had come to us by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. As I realized already in graduate school, even if God had inspired the original words, we don't have the original words. So the doctrine of inspiration was in a sense irrelevant to the Bible as we have it, since the words God reputedly inspired had been changed and, in some cases, lost.
>
>Moreover, I came to think that my earlier views of inspiration were not only irrelevant, they were probably wrong. For the only reason (I came to think) for God to inspire the Bible would be so that his people would have his actual words; but if he really wanted people to have his actual words, surely he would have miraculously preserved those words, just as he had miraculously inspired them in the first place. Given the circumstance that he didn't preserve the words, the conclusion seemed inescapable to me that he hadn't gone to the trouble of inspiring them.

Misquoting Jesus -- Bart Ehrman

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did Jesus Exist:

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/46986/46986-h/46986-h.htm#ch2

BTW, if you want to torture your biology teacher, ask her why all the brothers in a family have different DNA? Why not the same DNA?

Suggestion: Read 1 chapter of 1 book, online for free.

Even I was shocked to find out that Jesus never existed. Which destroys the whole thing. Now I look at all the nonsense differently. For example, the gospels tell you about their (anonymous) Greek authors, not about 'Jesus'.

If I edited that Wikipedia entry, someone would revert it.

The Christ

CHAPTER II.

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/46986/46986-h/46986-h.htm#ch2

I had the same reaction. Found the book on Amazon and started reading the reviews, and ended up reading all of them. The reviews are probably more interesting than the book. I think there was maybe one positive review, by a person who accused the others of not actually reading the book.

I recommend looking into Bart Ehrman's books. Dude used to be a Christian, now he is a secular (agnostic?) professor of religious studies. He's written a lot about the historical Jesus and early Christianity. He's interested in it purely from an academic perspective and has no interest in converting or deconverting anyone. You might want to start with How Jesus Became God, since it will answer the question you asked here, but any of his books are a good read.

I mean, yes.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

• The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
• The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
• The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
• The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

Mass produced garbage. See: https://www.amazon.com/Christ-Donald-Picture-Bedroom-12%C3%9718inch-Framed/dp/B099FDWQB6 It's a bargain at under $30 though. *Under my breath* Bargain with the devil maybe.

There you go: https://www.amazon.com/Christ-Donald-Picture-Bedroom-12%C3%9718inch-Framed/dp/B099FDWQB6 And it's a steal at under $30.

I have no skin in this game..... But this post reminded me of something.

So, if you want to have a legit Cheesus Sam, I will show you the way....

https://www.amazon.com/The-Grilled-Cheesus-Sandwich-Press/dp/B00DD0P0TK

I googled "cheesus christ" to see if it would come up. Amazon is selling Grilled cheesus sandwich press ! It toasts Jesus and his holy rays onto the bread! $44.95 and it's yours, available from multiple stores.

For anyone interested, here is a ~350 page book written by a biologist to show how overwhelming the evidence for evolution is. It was a very interesting read, I highly recommend it.

Amazon

Goodreads

Here's a link to the actual product. https://www.amazon.com/Bicycle-Playing-Cards-Designed-Parker/dp/B099SFM2NL/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=bicycle+cards+cat&qid=1654129734&sr=8-3

The front of the packaging literally has a crystal ball on it. It has a witchcraft item right on the first picture. This person is an idiot.

That is untrue. This is a real book. The amazon listing for this book has a review in which someone took a picture of this exact page. Its unedited.

I can't link the exact review because Amazon doesn't let you do that but here is a link to the listing, just scroll down for the review.

I highly recommend Boost if you use Android. I was hesitant to use a third-party app at first, but it's honestly so much nicer. So much more customization and videos specifically load better. You can also download videos without having to comment the save video bot. If you're an Apple user I'd recommend Apollo.

Nothing wrong with being a basic bitch though. I'm a basic bitch about other stuff.

It's White Evangelical Christianity. It's exactly what they want.

https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-John-Wayne-Evangelicals-Corrupted/dp/1631495739

Dear Atheists,

"1001 Atheist & Agnostic Quotes and Proverbs to Live By" is a treasure trove of two millennia of wisdom from the most gifted and erudite minds in human history. It is a powerful tool for any bourgeoning young mind and perhaps the most precious and useful gift one can receive!

With foreword by Dr. Lawrence M. Krauss.

This book or audiobook will change and transform your perception of reality. This audiobook contains jewels of human reason and logic. Do not be dissuaded from the content if you do not consider yourself agnostic or atheist, as the majority of quotes are applicable to all walks of life. These quotes from loved historical figures and proverbs from around the world were collected during my life time and empowered and encouraged me to survive challenges and to enjoy life to the fullest.

Get it Here https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FCCDFYS

Thank you,

Dr. Daniel Farcas

>Don’t they have a caste system with untouchables?

Check this before keeping your prejudice, also here in India, Caste is an issue of all the religions, including Christianity and Islam

https://www.amazon.ca/Queen-James-Bible-God/dp/0615724531

Named so on account of how King James was a bisexuality and fucked a shit load of men. It was a derisive nickname back in his day. If the Bible actually said gay bad he would've never funded its publishing or at the very least forced them to change the verse.

Bullshit. Literally.

Cow urine is sold openly by the largest Ayurveda company in India, and plenty of Hindus believe it has medicinal properties.

Also plenty of cowdung and cow urine sellers on Indian Amazon. Hardly a "extreme rural undeveloped village" thing.

https://www.amazon.in/Krishnas-Gomutra-Tharparkar-Miracle-Drink/dp/B079TK4MZD

https://www.amazon.in/BUM-BHOLE-Original-Natural-Religious/dp/B08F1Z2CZD/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=cow+dung+cake&qid=1641877437&sr=8-5

Under the fiction that is materialism (and is fiction - https://getpocket.com/explore/item/scientists-say-your-mind-isn-t-confined-to-your-brain-or-even-your-body?utm_source=pocket-newtab ) This is indeed the case, that those who die are not only dead, but simply aren't.

However the rest of us in reality know that

Consciousness isn't located in the brain or the body

Got this one(below) from a reddit Secret Santa last year. It's excellent it literally goes through all the basics down to boiling water and a million different things in between. My 11 year old and I have done quite a few things from it.

How to Cook Everything The Basics: All You Need to Make Great Food--With 1,000 Photos https://www.amazon.com/dp/0470528060/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_DJEZT2A35DX9JAT5M17X

I also got snoop doggs cookbook but haven't used it yet.

From Crook to Cook: Platinum Recipes from Tha Boss Dogg's Kitchen (Snoop Dogg Cookbook, Celebrity Cookbook with Soul Food Recipes) (Snoop Dog x Chronicle Books) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1452179611/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_7FQ6EMN7D6YY8KYMVWQR

>Drinking cow piss is hugely exaggerated anyway. I've around Hindus all my life and I never saw anyone, not a single one, ever drink cow piss.

I am an Indian and I can say you're wrong. A lot of Hindus do drink cow piss and start talking it's benefits using pseudoscience when you question it. It's widespread otherwise they wouldn't sell it on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B084WNVS98/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_DYTY1NKNFD0JMF95WHKM

If you fancy a giggle, buy nanny ogg's cookbook.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nanny-Cookbook-Discworld-Terry-Pratchett/dp/0552146730

'They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach which just goes to show they're as confused about anatomy as they gen'rally are about everything else, unless they're talking about instructions on how to stab him, in which case a better way is up and under the ribcage. Anyway, we do not live in a perfect world and it is foresighted and useful for a young woman to become proficient in those arts which will keep a weak-willed man from straying. Learning to cook is also useful.'

Other wheelchair person here.

That ramp is wildly unsafe, holy shit. This chud is almost worse than comment chud because he's too goddamn lazy or cheap it straight up apathetic to get a long enough ramp to prevent a serious accident. He should be reported for neglect, because in about 45 seconds of googling, I found this. I really hope nothing bad happens to this poor kid, that ramp must be just terrifying.

Different names for the same god of justified scuminess in this picture.

This is from a satire children’s bible series.

Awkward Moments (Not Found in Your Average) Children’s Bible

They’re great. I have all three volumes.

Its REAL sadly. A conservative christian who wrote an anti-LBGT book called “The Truth About Homosexuality”

The book is on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Truth-About-Homosexuality-Bruce-Smith/dp/1498443168

Resin Buddha Statue of Former US President Trump Donald, Xitian Listening Buddha Statue, Funny Buddha Suitable for Cars, Office Desk and Home Accessories https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08ZLMC4LV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_JBVVZF6VGHPBG1R81GFF

So I got myself the Destiny cookbook for Christmas, and my Dad 100% stole it. Not because he plays Destiny, but because it's filled with basically every delicious thing he orders at restaurants.

So...if you're a guy and need to hide a good, basic, cross-culture, full-fat, allergen-filled cookbook, this one will fit right in on your video game shelf.

Here’s a good book on the subject: An Abridged Koran: The Reconstructed Historical Koran: Volume 4 (The Islamic Trilogy) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0978552849/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_MFFT94Q1B0NJ5JK5APHD

This one is even better: Measuring Mohammed https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1936659387/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_0EV6J23X3Q6X7JHS9WEB

I’m guessing that your personal version of ‘real’ Islam is a minority view of Islam amongst muslims globally.

There are many weird books on Amazon. Example:

Helping the Retarded to Know God: a Guide for Christian Teachers of the Mentally Handicapped

(And I can't change the title - it's a very old book - 1969 - so this was OK then).

But the comments are hilarious.

Jonathan Sabin

1.0 out of 5 stars

A *REALLY* bad gift

Reviewed in the United States on June 30, 2015

>Let this serve as a warning.

>
>I am now a pariah in my neighborhood because I bought what I *thought* was a very thoughtful gift for my next-door neighbor who just had a baby.

>
>Well, as it turns out, when I first saw the baby in his stroller he was squinting because the sun was in his eyes. He was not, as I had assumed, "differently-abled." So not only will the neighbor lady not speak with me, I can't walk anywhere in the entire subdivision without people turning around and heading straight back into their houses.

>
>Plus, it appears that dog feces is being left at my front door at least 3 or 4 times daily.

>
>If you decide to purchase this book as a gift, make sure that you do your homework beforehand.

Someone else commented that this title should be a subtitle for the bible!

My ex-husband once bought me this very misleadingly titled book, Three to Get Married, as a "gift". Needless to say, he's now One to Get Married.

Around the same time he also got me one called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", so there were obviously some serious control issues there, which seems to be a theme ubiquitous in Christianity.
From the Amazon description: >"Every woman can achieve a deeply satisfying marriage if she adheres to certain fundamentals men require. Preparing dinner, caring for the children without complaint, greeting her husband with a kiss and engaging in sexual intimacy instead of "tearing down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance"

I remember ACTUALLY reading it at the time, and it boiled down to "He treats you that way because you deserve it. Also, there's no such thing as sexual consent in marriage."

I just went out to check my garage book storage for them because I'm sure there were other hilarious tidbits in each of them, but I must have thrown them out in a fit of rage. The husband, however, I threw out with cold, calculating litigation. Too bad I can't also get alimony from God, I hear he's loaded.