>The jealousy and anger is crippling at times.
Jealousy is really common, but I have to say this is the first time I've read about someone feeling anger. Personally, I'd tap the brakes until I figured that one out. Maybe you two can read about ENM and work on the emotions. This book Opening Up is a classic (currently reading it). The Ethical Slut is also a good one. They devote entire chapters to jealousy.
Good luck! 🍀
LMAO @ "extended stay"! I was far away on a 'trip' at the time and must've really meant meant semi-permanent.... Here's a link to some QOS on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LXOBJT3/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_PJN9BH0SVN2WKKYAQE3X
Yea you kinda have to give them two sizes. Standard for the tube size really should be enough unless he's quite big even when flaccid. Just get standard. That's also what I use and I'm slightly bigger than average @ 6.5"
As for the ring you got to pick between 40, 45, 50 cm I'm also a medium here and with 45 quite happy. It's just big enough when it's cold out and a little loose when I get warm.
Here you kind of need to know what he prefers.
In all honesty buy cheap cock rings out of steal or hard silicon "non elastic" made to be worn behind the balls. You can usually get 3 or sometimes 4 different sizes in one pack for 10 or 15 bucks. Have him wear the rings for an hour or two and practice getting the ring on and off, they function a lot like the back ring of the cages. He should get a feel for his size within 2 or 3 days of playing with the rings then order the cage.
Standard / 45 is probably the best for most people considered average or above average.
Here is an example of 40, 45, and 50
Make the investment and test them out for a while. Once you know buy either a real cb600 (lots of fakes) reals cost 100+ and only buy directly or buy a Holy trainer. If you are willing to drop the extra cash it is the best on the market.
I've wasted so much time and money on cages just buy a good one and be done with it.
Sounds like you're on the right path (communication and therapy).
One thing that might help is to know that cuckolding is a super common kink. Research shows that nearly 60% of men have cuckolding fantasies (a bit less for women). Now less than that will talk about, role play, or experiment with, but *most* men have had this fantasy.
Lastly, try not to conflate the kink with the obsession / addiction. Plenty of people experience obsession / addiction to vanilla porn (or some other kink).
Check out this book. 58% of men have fantasies about cuckolding. This book will help you see how common sexual fantasies are.
As for toe in the water, just talk with him and ask questions without judging. You don’t have to do anything irl (most fantasies stay fantasies).
Some research has been published on this and it turns out 58% of men have had this fantasy at least once and 25% frequently fantasize about this. Obviously a lot less experiment IRL but as a fantasy it is super common.
First of all, cut your relationship with her. That part of your life is done. All you are doing is emotionally hurting yourself. Let it go. What happened has happened. The only thing you can control are the things that are in your sphere of control, and you are only responsible for your own actions.
One more thing: Learn mindfulness meditation. There is even an app for that. It teaches you to effectively just observe things without pushing or pulling them. It helped me out a lot. Think it as the gym exercise for your mind.
I like this book. It’s not about cuckolding, but does includes sections on it. The book is based on research on sexual fantasies. The author surveyed 4,000 people about their fantasies. Its by an academic, but approachable.
My favorite stat is that 58% of men (and 25% of women) have fantasized about cuckolding.
bit of same for me, often atleast,
currently im using text-to-speech online apps.
this one works for free, (first 20mins you can use "premium" voices, after that can choose to continue unlimited with 2 free voices to choose from.)
if you or anyone else reading this comment knows or finds better ones, please do tell :P didn't try to find other services my self yet.
Believe it or not most of my success has come with meeting women on vanilla apps like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, and match.com. When it comes to fetish type of sites it's not nice to generalize but most I'm not attracted to mainly because they are a bit pre-packed mental, not professionally driven, or not attractive. I could be wrong but again this is based on my experience. Most of the women I date, and introduce to this, are doing well professionally and attractive 28-40 year olds.
Hey man! I have had a very similar experience. I reached a point where my gf was literally about to fuck another person for the first time. I told her how I felt and it was rough but we’ve managed to stay together and monogamous. I read a book:
Was great for helping me understanding where this came from. I’ve stayed a way from porn as well, coming on reddit much less and I’ve found it helping too. Wishing you the best friend!
It's some cheap one from Amazon. I wanted to try a smaller one without spending tons of money. Turned out to be the most comfortable one I own. https://www.amazon.com/TERNENCE-Chastity-Device-Stainless-Comfortable/dp/B07F7TFPN5?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1
> Is not a trend, not even a theory, is just something that I am looking into since Republicans are so afraid of it…
If you're actually interested, I highly recommend this book. Fantastic overview not just of how racism perpetuates, but also of how humans view race, and how this has changed over time.
You both should read Opening Up. The Ethical Slut and maybe a few other books on ENM. Try listening to some podcasts. I feel like you need to get through all that (plus a lot of communication) before you jump into cuckolding.
Talking to your wife is really the only solution here (other than putting your play on pause). What would happen if you showed her this post? You'll want to get on the same page. If you can't talk about "smaller" things it will build up and then it makes talking about bigger things hard. Just share with her. Ask her lots of questions ("how do you feel about xxx?") and then listen...really listen.
Also, you might want to read the Bottoming book. Something you're describing is when a submissive has a fantasy and reality isn't matching exactly with your fantasy. They give some tips on how to deal with that (in addition to communicating).
My wife and I enjoy this one:
I haven’t tried it with a cage on, though, which is a personal fave idea I’ve seen recently.
Also, have you asked if he would like to be penetrated by you? Or maybe something like postorgasm torture while talking to him about his cuckold nature.