If you can, find an IFS therapist who will work with you. If you cannot find a therapist, I recommend you read Greater Than The Sum of Our Parts by Richard Schwartz, and Self-Therapy 2nd Edition by Jay Early.

These books will answer your questions and get you started with IFS. Good luck, I hope you find the healing you're seeking.

> If other parts interrupt, you typically ask if they can relent so that you can continue working solo. If they can't, then you work with that part instead. I find keeping notes about which parts are interrupting+where I left off helpful because it takes me non-trivial brain-power to interact with parts, and pen&paper can fill that role fine. Keeping notes about the time you spend will also be helpful too.

Yes! I find that keeping notes and some way a record for each part very helpfult. I try to orginize a folder for each part using Obsidian. Ofcourse, I fail to do this everytime but that's ok.

IFS self-therapy books https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy-ebook/dp/B00452V8EG/

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Vol-Step-Step-Procrastination-ebook/dp/B01HAPJ9WW/ref=pd_aw_sim_3/134-0925639-9353854?pd_rd_w=ykItf&pf_rd_p=61e03cde-d57c-4984-9f73-f76bf2c32442&pf_rd_r=PPC7F40ZQVCGKYEHTTDD&pd_rd_r=78b7e277-111a-428...

I also struggle with this quite often. Therapy appts are just too short.

What I found to help is to know that I need more mindful self compassion. For me shame shows up as a loud, but tiny voice of my negative upbringing. Knowing that the shame is not mine, but it’s been handed to me from generations of trauma has helped a lot.

Kristen Neff and Christopher Gremer have a good workbook on this. I’ll link it. But it’s short and written in a peer like way. Therefore I found there’s less shame in learning the skill to be compassionate to that inner you who learned shame. And the workbook gives you a process/ideas to find that mindful self compassion.

And oh man whether you’re a self care person or not - adding extra support before and after such hard sessions has helped me a lot. Shame is a deep emotional wound so I need like two baths or double the amount of relaxation to cope with that inner work.

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462526780/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_5PQCAD842VTS1Z9V0JXJ

https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Active-Cards-Parts-Work/dp/B07X8YPQ1R/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=ifs+cards&qid=1614137276&sr=8-3 I've been eyeing these cards for awhile (I loved the book) and thinking they could be used like tarot cards! I think it would be just as easy and useful to use tarot cards like ifs cards :)

That makes sense - the CODA meetings felt a bit pathologizing to me too as an abuse survivor and I had to take a break for awhile even though I initially got some benefit. The last thing I can think of is this guy, Pete Walker's, work is pretty affirming for people who experienced childhood trauma and a book could be free with an Audible trial, less than $10 ebook or perhaps available at a library if you've got one nearby: https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Pete-Walker-audiobook/dp/B07MK5F3KQ/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=I wish you the very best!!

There's a third edition now, too. I read the Kindle version of the 2nd edition and it had a bunch of weird typographical issues. I have no idea how the 3rd edition compares, but that link is here: Self Therapy 3rd Edition

Jay Earley

Plus one to this rec. I would say it's the best resource if you need to go solo. There's also a companion workbook that helps.

Maybe try this first? This is how I started. It’s an intro that you can do with yourself!

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=553c1441-f7ce-4a11-b293-aa60408da408

There's a number of sections in Self-therapy Vol. 2 By Jay Earley that really go into polarizing parts has an in-depth description of how to work with them.

I had heard of them throughout my research, but hadn't seen much going in depth. If anyone knows free resources on this feel free to share

My advise is to look for a trauma therapist, one that you feel safe with and knows EMDR and IFS. Interview as many as you need to find a good match for you.

In my case, the first 5-6 sessions were IFS-focused. After making sure I was stable enough, the focus shifted to EMDR. Now, after about 8 months, sessions starting with EMDR can spontaneously include a bit of IFS when previously hidden parts emerge. It has been very helpful for the IFS therapy to have read this book - highly recommended by my therapist and allowing me to work with my parts between sessions: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Vol-Step-Step-Techniques-ebook/dp/B0190X0JP8

I’m still working it out as I had a part show up as my mom which I believe is a legacy burden. There wasn’t a lot of info out there in how to deal with them but there is some. I saw it and was like what does this mean? 😂

There is some info in this book about it: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Martha/dp/0415506840/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_sccl_1/261-3311889-0276755?pd_rd_w=DiYII&content-id=amzn1.sym.86676462-a552-4c28-8ddc-2508435d120c&pf_rd_p=86676462-a552-4c28-8ddc-2508435d120c...

Now that I’m learning more about narcissism, I can see how I internalized that critical voice but in IFS intellectual understanding doesn’t always help make sense of the inner world.

Hope you find something that works.

Happy to share my knowledge 😄

So, I haven't actually read many books on psychedelics. I've read a bunch on trauma and on IFS, and I've taking that knowledge plus curiosity and openness into my solo psychedelic experiences. In that vein, I'd recommend the lesser known Healing the Fragmented Selves by Janina Fischer. It's quite dense and unites IFS ideas with research on structural dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, and attachment style.

Since I found myself getting to younger and younger parts, I just started How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, recommended to me on this sub. I just take the "family" advice to IFS.

I think what you're looking for, though, is Coleman's <em>Psychedelic Psychotherapy</em>. I've heard great things about it. Just look at tgat description! I'm gonna buy it for myself now!

If you are interested in attachment, and treatments related to attachment, I highly recommend this book (warning - it is very long, and quite academic, but well-written)

https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Disturbances-Adults-Treatment-Comprehensive/dp/0393711528

1. Get a therapist. We can’t do this work alone, nor do we need to.

2. Look on Insight Timer for a guided meditations and life events around healing trauma.

The psyche is extremely smart. If there is not a stable ground for the self parts to go to, they will not come out. This is where a therapist or other grounding practice is imperative. If you really wanna do this work yourself I have written a book that will walk you through a self-help process. It has a workbook and guided audio.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1703725808/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MFZ2W4B6PCXF7CF4S6CV

I also have some groups starting this week.

https://www.reneemckenna.com/spiritual-experience-groups

My work is very similar to IFS. If you’re interested I would be happy to work with you. But there are tons of wonderful therapists out there. Good luck. Get some help.

a popular recommendation is to read / listen to this book: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777/

It takes you through some exercises to help you get acquainted with finding parts and talking to them. The actual HOW bit is ambiguous, because that is different for everybody, but the book does do what it can to take you to mental places where you're likely to be able to make contact with some parts.

Of course, if that doesn't work, then you're possibly in a similar place as to where I am, where there's a protector who has a reason to prevent you from talking to any parts.

But give the book a try. And if you can't buy things right now, there are lots of free guiding meditations on youtube. I like Derek Scott.

Allies & Demons: Working with Spirit for Power and Healing. Awesome book with a workbook and 15 free guided audio “inner journeys” or meditations that connected me in a really deep and practical way with a range of very clear and powerful Spirit guides or positive self parts.

The work is a blend of Shamanism and ancient Tibetan Buddhist practice, but presented as these really accessible guided meditations. The first section, Allies, is about connecting with high level, trustworthy Spiritual connection. The Demons section is about using these guides for Healing trauma, inner child stuff, depression, inner critic and there’s a whole section on reclaiming power and clearing stuff we took on.

I feel like I have a Spiritual team with me now, because I really do. Super practical. This work changed my life. Now my life work is to pass it on. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1703725808/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MFZ2W4B6PCXF7CF4S6CV

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703?gclid=Cj0KCQjw4PKTBhD8ARIsAHChzRJX7YKpJOIzvJImJ1-X8vpfE0DcwFLZAIfFCesWQoi_Wuf_Zobh7X8aAhX9EALw_wcB

Thank you. It is... Very new to me. And very uncomfortable still!

Here's a barebones Airtable template. Airtable is great for relational stuff, but not great for note taking, so I didn't continue with this.

That’s literally this and how I got here

Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984392777/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_1HQWA0XV9808WZB6R76N

There is a huge direct link between shame and depression. There's a therapy model called AEDP, which takes a lot points from IFS and Schwartz's writings. Shame and guilt are pretty much at the core of what this model addresses. It tells us that depression our body's defense against the shame when it becomes unbearable - and instead of treating the depression, you need to look at the shame. There's a book called It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel that goes into much more detail - if you read it you'll find much overlap with the tenets of IFS. This book and No Bad Parts are my bibles!

There is a workbook that goes with Jay Early's Self-Therapy book that has a standardized way of writing about parts. I will see if there's a printable copy and edit this post with that.

IFS excels at trauma work, I'm happy to say you're definitely in the right place!

It can help to have an understanding of how IFS purports to help, if you haven't read up on the therapy modality, I'd suggest starting with No Bad Parts, or Internal Family Systems 2nd Ed to get an idea of the base assumptions of the model.

Hi everyone! As part of my PhD research I am interested in exploring how the experience of trauma can impact our inner world. We are looking for participants who are aged 18+ years old, fluent in English and who have experienced a traumatic event, this includes witnessing a traumatic event. *Content Warning* Please be mindful that the survey will be asking about your traumatic experience/s, please read the participant information statement carefully before deciding whether you would like to participate, this will be provided when you click the link.

Please see the attached image for more information. Survey link:https://tinyurl.com/trauma-ourinnerworld

&#x200B;

Here are the zoom links if you don’t have Facebook

Thursdays

Thursday 7am EST meeting

Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/96138796129

Meeting ID: 961 3879 6129

Thursday 7pm EST meeting

Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/93761659806

Meeting ID: 937 6165 9806

i don't have too much advice other than Notion's privacy policy is one of the worst I've ever seen. if that's important to you, then Obsidian is another option

as for how to organize your thoughts, i've never tried this specifically but I'd probably dedicate some pages to tracking and updating information about parts, then keep a different place where you write about sessions. I find more success when I structure my notes about content relationships rather than chronology

Oh, the Self IS clearly defined in IFS literature. It was just never explained specifically how it develops from kid to adult.

But what it looks like and how one would be able to get into that state is VERY defined.

It even details how Schwartz first discovered it.

Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model https://www.amazon.com/dp/0972148000/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_A0GXSAZ8QAYXKC14FJC0

This is probably my favorite book to learn the model as easily as possible.

There's a whole chapter dedicated to defining the Self, what it looks like, and how it was discovered (that would give evidence to its validity) starting on page 19.

It even says that its irrelevant whether you see it as spiritual or secular, as it's applicable to both theories.

I think if you give that chapter alone a read, it may change your view on its validity, and hopefully on IFS as a whole.

https://www.amazon.com/Therapy-Interventions-Prepare-Attachment-Wounded-Adults/dp/B08KQC1XTX

This is a really good book written by DNMS therapists. I found that using EMDR with IFS (or DNMS) was most effective. It was like EMDR helped unburden my exiles and my protectors.

Nice. If she's open for recommendations, you may want to suggest IFS 2nd ed and the Skills Training Manual. Both are suitable for practitioners. They recommend you wait until you do a Level 1 before you do unburdenings with clients, but the nuts and bolts of it are all there.

Hi there,this might be a good start.

If you decide to start on your own one of the most important things is imho "slow is fast". We do not push, we ask for permission to go further. If it is not given, there is a reason for it. Depending on how your system works at the moment it can be very beneficial to work with a therapist and do your own work supporting.

All the best <3

There's Jay Earley's work:

• Book: Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS by Jay Early.
• Website: Self-Therapy Journey - $8-$40 per month

Bonnie Weiss has a workbook to complement Earley's book. It is a good start.

Chances are you are already a part or maybe even a few of them are present. If you are doing it by yourself I'm assuming you are using This book and you can work with the part that is the most present and it sounds like it's an anxious part for now, then some protectors might appear in the future that would prevent you from doing the work and you'd work with them. It might be useful to introduce this question ('how do I/you feel toward this part?') further down the line or you can keep dropping it in your system and ones you get to experience Self or some glimpses of Self it would make more sense then.

Part of me wants to share that I started my IFS journey by working with my anxious part as well and focusing on my physical sensations and feelings helps a lot as well as imagining it sitting in a chair near me (I can even put an empty chair) and talking to that part if that parts communicates through 'talking'.

I took a note pad with me every where for a week. When I felt that I was in a different 'personality' I'd write down what was happening and how I reacted. I came up with 10 then went over it with my therapist. She then took some cards (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0979889723/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_VAeOFbY3Q7J5Y) and helped me put a face with the personalities. I came up with 10 but have since found an 11th. For example, I was talking to a friend about my abusive dad and was fighting tears and the feeling of needing to run and hide. That feeling of wanting to run and hide is one of my sub personalities. I have another that's a bad girl. I want to drink, do drugs, hate the world, and I usually get a tattoo or piercing during that time. I think that's my way of isolating when hurt.

I've heard of this book. I haven't read it though but skimmed through it. Any thoughts?

And from what you've described tapping sounds more like a middle ground between emdr and the other end of the spectrum which would be maybe CBT since it's completely rational and no feelings. And from description of that book, it sounds like tapping is a self-emdr method. Anyways, I'll stop here.

Thank you so much for reminding me about tapping and sharing some information. I'm curious to explore more of it and maybe apply it more often in my life!

There's a great book by Jay Earley called, Self-Therapy

https://www.amazon.ca/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777

It gives clear, concise, and simple ways to do this work on your own.

While it's always best to work with a therapist, especially when there is a lot of deep work that needs to be done, sometimes we can't all afford that. I believe that this book could be very helpful to people trying to work things out without the aid of a therapist.

I wanted to add, you don't want your therapist to be doing most of the talking. It's their job to guide you to do the work. When I work with clients, I find that taking a step back and allowing their parts to tell them what they need with limited guidance from me seems to work best.

I'm not an IFS practitioner. I'm a hypnotherapist who uses Parts Therapy and is now delving into IFS with remarkable success.

I'm pretty much blown away by how well it works and I have a strong belief that we can do this work on our own if need be.

Best of luck to you!