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Stephen King also says in On Writing that prescribed time is beneficial. That's just what has worked for him, specifically. The book encourages writers to make their own routine, but make it consistent.
I have a degree in Creative writing and I'll say that through my experience of reading books about writing I learned that there's really no good advice they teach. Every book I read about writing had different opinions and views on what it takes to be a good writer. I will say that Stephen King's On Writing is really good, but it's more about his life and experiences as a writer and not so much about how to be a writer. I think the biggest thing you should do, as stated before is read, read, read, then read some more and read what you want to write. You want to write horror read horror, etc. and pay close attention to not only what they write but HOW they write, sentence structure, use of dialogue and imagery as well as other aspects of writing, and that'll help you learn how to write what you want to write.
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft - Steven King. On Writing is both a textbook for writers and a memoir of Stephen's life and will, thus, appeal even to those who are not aspiring writers. If you've always wondered what led Steve to become a writer and how he came to be the success he is today, this will answer those questions.
Gone in sixty seconds.
On my webpage or as a google doc.
Enjoy!
Check out Open Office: https://www.openoffice.org/. I used this in college and it is an open source version of all the basic Office programs. Also honestly, Google Docs is a perfectly good word processing software that is completely free if you have a google account. It makes it really easy to share documents and has all the spelling and grammar functionality of Microsoft Office.
The Procrastination Equation.
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.
The Life- Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
Healing Spaces-The Science of Place and Well-being.
All are good- practical. But the second addresses the doubts you talk about. If you need a boost, read it. It will rekindle your inner fire.
- Influence by Robert Cialdini - I highly agree here. I need to read it again.
- Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- Relentless by Tim S Grover
- Success is a Choice by Rick Pitino
These were all very much enjoyable and useful reads.
Okay, so I read through it. I haven't read your first draft in a long time, so going off memory here, but overall I think it's much better!
I distinctly remember the mountain quest for Kyle's parents before (how it was little more than a footnote), and I see that now you've fleshed it out quite a bit -- enough to be interesting, but not too much to detract from the story. It definitely helps get across just how desperate these two people are for a child, and cements how important Kyle's birth was.
I also like the dialogue -- I think it's a huge improvement having it there. I think I recall in your first draft, you explained to the reader about Kyle's first love. It's much more effective to see Kyle explain it himself, to his brother.
I know last time I had some issues with Kyle as a person, but for some reason he seems more human this time around (still above average aptitude wise, but mentally more human). I don't know what it is exactly -- maybe that he had more lines -- but it's definitely a plus. He actually reminds me a little bit of Kvothe, from Patrick Rothfuss Kingkiller Chronicle.
Anyway, as far as style is concerned -- speech formatting, commas, and so on -- that'll all be fixed when you edit it. If you want a good book on the topic, I'd recommend The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, (amazon link if you want it http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-4th-William-Strunk/dp/0205313426).
Keep up the good work.
Hi! Welcome to the group!
1st - I like paragraphs. It helps me keep track of where I am and where one idea stops and the next picks up. I kept losing my place.
I feel like you are trying to cram everything about your character and story into too few sentences. I got that your character is poorish, this is an extravagence for him, and he has either psych issues/horrors from his past. Maybe you could flesh these ideas out more separately?
It is a promising start, I like the idea of a steam train trip with cabins, enclosed spaces and essentially a 10 day confinement. Keep working on it and let us see your progress!
A monocle? Have you been hanging out in the gold lounge..... (sorry reddit joke.)
On a side note: If you are interesting in writing, a good book to read is "On Writing" by Stephen King. He talks a lot about the craft of writing. And remember, you can always write whether or you are a "full-time" writer.
PLEASE read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott it will give you some insight into writing as well as life in general. Please, please read it I promise you won't regret it! It is one of my absolute favorite books and it's helped me through some rough spots when nothing else seems to help.
I love when people share opinions. I always shared opinions, and everyone turns me down on the subject.
I like to listen to 8-Bit, but that's just me.
Hey first I want to say that I really appreciate the critique and the time you took to make such a detailed post. I'll definitely consider everything you've said here, and I hope to be able to improve it with your suggestions. This is actually my first attempt at 'authoring' anything, and I'm glad for any type of constructive criticism, and your comment is exactly what I'm looking for, so thank you very much. As for some of my choices that you disagree with, I'll post my storyboard here and maybe some of them will make more sense, such as Sandra killing Michael without any warning, though I will definitely carefully consider everything you've said. Thanks for taking the time out to help me! I hope to one day post the finished copy here!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/18eUDJt74j54ChYlG_0TTACkBlXRiZegV79K0aHIV_DQ/edit
Wanted to give this a shot. It's terribly but aptly titled Flash Fiction. Critique coming shortly on others.
Also just noticed I have flair!
Hey, thanks for doing this! This is part of an ongoing scifi/humor story I'm writing. I'm leaving the wattpad link to the whole thing, but there's no need to read all of it, since it's realatively large! I'll take feedback on just a chapter, a section of it... Even a sentence! Link: http://www.wattpad.com/65643750-101-drinks-to-have-in-outer-space-before-you-die
Rarely electronic music (Veridis Quo radio on Pandora One) or Radiohead, and sometimes classical. But mostly just brown noise (pink and white are too peaky) and rain.
http://novoed.com/ and http://futurelearn.com/ offer free fiction writing courses from time to time (novoed's was last in the fall).
Also, The 2015 season (Season 10) of Writing Excuses podcast was formatted as a "Master Class". It's available on their website.
Some libraries have a subscription to Gale courses, and there's a fantasy writing, a romance writing, and a novel writing class there IIRC. My local library (SF, CA) does. It's included with my library card.
I would definitely suggest Pyroom, simple and fullscreen. The best part is the themes. Whenever I get sick of the screen I just switch to a fresh theme.
http://pyroom.org/ if you are interested (it's free)
I haven't read this one OP posted about, but I was going to say that On Writing was my #1.
Also from a less personal and slightly more technical perspective, I thought that "Writing Dialogue" by Tom Chiarella was fantastic.
Read more. Keep writing. I can tell you're a beginner, and that's not a bad thing. Read, read, read, and write. If you try to write at least 200 words per day for a year, and read for a year, you will look back on this piece and you will see change. You will improve.
Read On Writing by King, and Elements of Style, and then read literature. Read King, Steinbeck, Green, Hemingway. Read anything. Read what you like until you want to expand. Then read something difficult.
I'll reply to this comment with a quick of your story. Give me twenty minutes.
As far as I can tell, the setting is night-time, and your protagonists parents are dead. I'm assuming that when they died, they left some kind of business unfinished. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that's hackish, I believe even the most overused tropes can be made into good writing, and good reading.
As others have commented, you misspell some words, and incorrectly use some words. I get the impression that you're trying deliberately to showcase how many difficult words you know, and it's off-putting as a reader.
I highly recommend a read-through of "The Elements of Style." It's a very short book written by E.B. White and William Strunk. When I read it and got back into writing, I noticed my writing improved a hundred times over.
As far as commas and go, I've always followed the general rule that it's better to have too much, rather than too little--with anything in writing. Once you know you have too much, then you can go back and start taking things out.
And, concerning "showing-off," I don't think anyone ever TRULY breaks it. I do it a lot, having just reviewed some stuff I wrote, I realized I've got endless paragraphs of description that I just don't need. It's hard to regulate at the time of its creation, which is what those grueling, hours-long sessions of editing and revising are for.
Haha. And my revision of your piece actually is missing a few crucial words because I was sloppy about it, but I'm glad it helped. If you're looking for help with moderation in descriptions and stuff, two great books are Strunk and White's The Elements of Style and Stephen King's On Writing. Both extremely helpful.
Basically, write the bare minimum when it comes to descriptions. The reader will automatically make the description more persona when you simply suggest something--King's example is a checkered table cloth. Just say it's a checkered table cloth. The reader will create its own colors, stripes, table size, and everything. It'll make your writing more concise and relateable for the reader.
But please don't take all my input as gospel--rules are made to be broken. Regardless, I enjoy giving critiques, and I hope you keep writing. Good stuff.
@Sycosenta, first, I suggest reading Ray Bradbury's 'Zen and the Art of Writing'. It leaves great advice about how to overcome writer's block.
Also, Stephen Pressfield's 'The War of Art'. Both of these should give you great direction for overcoming writer's block.
As a point of encouragement, don't be too hard on yourself. Writing great scenes usually takes a ton of life experience to pull from. The tip? As Madeleine L'engle wrote in her book about writing, 'Walking on Water', go out and experience as much of life as possible. (She is the author of the series that begins with 'A Wrinkle in Time'.)
Let writing be the reason you are experiencing more of life. The more life experiences you gain, the more material you will have to pull from. I know that does not solve your problem now, but let it encourage you on the road toward being a writer!
Hey, good job finishing this piece! I definitely get the theme and the ideas you were trying to bring forth.
Just a few things: when you say "he forgets it ever happened", I feel like that phrase is supposed to mean that he actually forgets it ever happens. Could be a better way to say it where it makes it clear the dreams have impacted him in some way.
"Pajamas are inside out, honey. Always, honey." I don't understand this line. Is his pajamas inside out, and then he eats honey? Or is it his mom speaking to him? Because then why would she say "Always, honey."
You could also do more showing instead of just telling. For example, "moon-bouncing", where you could've described his movements instead. I know what you're trying to say with "moon-bouncing", but it is not as effective as just showing it to the readers.
Also, I feel like there are a couple unnecessary adjectives. "Uncountable devotion" for example. You can't count devotion, so it doesn't work. Again, more showing, not just writing down the adjectives.
The last line; how does the boy remember the little gift, but right in the beginning you say "he forgets it ever happened." I understand what you are trying to say, but if you take it literally it's supposed to mean he has zero recollection of his dreams, so how would he remember the gift he has of dreaming. "Tiny world of sleeping possibilities." Again, I know what you are trying to say with this, but literally it means a world where it's possible to sleep in many different ways, so there could definitely be a better way to phrase it.
Here's a link that could help you with doing more showing instead of telling: litreactor.com/essays I found it really helpful.
Also, you should definitely get the book "On Writing" by Stephen King. Give it some time and maybe re-write this piece in the future after reading these.
Good job finishing it though!
I think you should focus on both ideas AND proper writing technique. No editor will ever take you seriously if your writing has major grammatical flaws. Also you will never be able to develop your own unique, artistic voice if you don't know the basics of good style.
Go pick up a cheap used copy of The Elements of Style. It's a classic for a reason. Sci-fi author and poet Ursula K. Leguin says to any prospective students of hers "The only rules you are ever going to get from me are all in Strunk and White." What more endorsement could you need?
Want something a little more fun? Check out any of Karen Elizabeth Gordon's punctuation and grammar books. She illustrates important grammatical concepts with sample sentences that create a story and characters of their own.
And, for any quick immediate questions the Purdue OWL website is super modern and easy to search. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
Writing doesn't have to be a public activity or a career field, many people write just for themselves, in fact, when you start writing it may be best to keep it private so you can come closer to writing without a self censor. I've been dabbling in writing most of my life but I didn't start to take it seriously until my marriage ended seven years ago and I used it as sort of self help therapy by fictionalizing some of the events of my life. It can be cathartic at times. Some people paint, others do wood carving and others play golf, writing is my creative outlet. No one else has to like it or approve.
Pick up a book on writing, there are plenty of them available. "Writing Down The Bones" by Natalie Goldberg (I believe that's the author's name, I could be wrong) helped me get started. Stephen King's book "On Writing" is part biography and part writing advice. One thing to recognize when it comes to writing advice, pretty much every writer has a different approach to their writing. (When they write, how they write etc.) You have to find out what works best for you.
Almost every successful writer advises that you read a lot, usually in the genre you wish to write, but also across genres.
Writing prompts don't work for me, at least not in the traditional sense. I don't know why, maybe it seems like I feel forced into a topic that's not on my mind, or maybe it reminds me of a school assignment. What they will do for me is "prime the pump" for lack of a better cliché.
I write a lot, most, if not all of it, is a waste of ink and paper, but that's okay because it's my ink and my paper.
You're very welcome.
For further tips, I'd recommend On Writing by Stephen King. I'm reading it at the moment and it's short, funny, emotional and contains fantastic wisdom throughout.
I think you've got something in your first draft, but as I said, you've got to hone your technical skills to get this to a professional level.
E book link; https://www.amazon.co.uk/KICK-ZU-First-Timothy-Benjamin-ebook/dp/B0BFRLR6HW
Paperback link; https://www.amazon.co.uk/KICK-ZU-First-Timothy-Benjamin/dp/1838248692
​
Please leave feedback
I really like this book:
And here's an article she wrote about it that isn't as in depth, but still pretty good (and free to read):
https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/deepening-your-storys-theme-with-the-thematic-square/
Well, I've never really written a story before. I'm a software developer. This whole thing is pretty much raw strait from my head. I can understand what you mean about it being rushed since I wasn't really developing it as much as I could have.
The Alien Incorperation This is another story idea that I've come up with. This one I typed about a dream I had.
Nice
I am currently selling this journal. It is a great tool to record your pets life story. It can be used to memorial your pet and remember them once they are gone. 100 pages give plenty of room to add photos and caption them.
Not only is this a great product but 10% of received artist royalties goes to a charity called greys4pets. This charity helps rehome retired greys.
Hey. I really like your poem. While reading I am suddenly reminded of Edgar Allan's The Raven. Question...the second line did you mean to write evening comes? Also, you have a spelling error. The correct spelling is traveled. Maybe the last sentence would flow better with the poem if it was written...And the tapping fails to leave me yet again. These are just my thoughts.
Kindest regards,
Sienna- Creator of Knitemares on Tapas
Hey. I remember seeing this on Tumblr. I love this by the way. It's a good thing I never consider what I write not my best effort or trash.
Regards,
Sienna - Creator of Knitemares on Tapas
You really get a sense of intense frustration with Elijah here. The way you've written it, it feels like he's internally exploding. If you want some ways to help flesh out a character, here's a link with an exercise/questionnaire that gets you thinking. https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-tips-for-character-development
Hey there /u/dreadul
First off, I'm digging the illustrations. More of those!
I read some, but I didn't have a lot of time.
First, the description:
> The story follows a soldier, set in 2074, who discovers true colors of the world and who operates it all, while witnessing the world change in the way it has never changed before. Also check out the illustrations https://www.behance.net/gallery/24797597/FortCity-Wall-Digital-Illustration
I feel like this could use some work. Maybe...
> Change is relentless: A soldiers unravels the true colors of a futuristic world in which nothing is as it seems.
Now on to what I read:
- You need to pick a verb tense and stick to it. You use was, and then you use is, and that's confusing. Read some military fiction to figure out which one you want to use: present or past tense. This is EXTREMELY important.
- Repetition: I see phrases used again and again. For instance, there's a part when the main character shoots a woman going down the hill. you mention that he realizes he shot her twice. I understand wanting it to seem stark, but be careful.
- Passive voice: is,am,are,was,were Use sparingly. There's usually a better verb you can use. For instance, "One little girl, peaking (mispelling) from behind her mother's skirt, was examining him shyly." Instead, try, "examined him shyly." See how that makes for a stronger, less wordy sentence? That's what you're going for.
- Sentence fragments: Make sure you are not using fragments.
Anyway, some cool ideas in here. But it will need some work!
I always recommend reading your work aloud, and keep reading. The best writers are avid readers. Also, keep drawing, because you're obviously talented at that. go to /r/selfpublish and you'll always see people looking for folks to design book covers.
My opinion on first-person isn't developed yet. Here's my first-person example. https://sites.google.com/site/caesarnapleswiki/home/short-stories/leatherworking/full-text
Your advice is for Reddit. Where every comment or post is in first person. I guess you're thinking that we'll make the mistake of creating a double-plus-good forum post. Not always the case.
Prowritingaid.com is the best one for me. I used Grammarly and some of the others but Prowritingaid includes all the things a lot of the other editing programs miss, like readability, grammar, structure, cliches, personal reviews by an actual person and whole bunch of new editing programs they added. There is a one time life time subscription to access most of their tools, but it's totally worth it. I noticed a lot of people mentioning Hemingway Editor site. I haven't personally used it, so I can't tell you much about it unfortunately. But I hope this helped a little.
It's pretty good. Break up the paragraphs into more varied lengths. It will help pull the reader down the page.
I only notice because I have a horrendous problem with them, but there's a lot of comma splices. If I'm wrong, and I may be because I'm bad with commas, it may be a profusion of too dense sentences.
Pro Writing Aid is the only grammar checked I've found that finds my comma splices.
I love the concept. I have a world built around the same concept. Only it's a regressed human colony on a gas planet. Steampunk, with all the magic (old world tech and aging colony starships maintained by rote ritual) controlled by the Church of the Holy Tokamak.
Something to consider is that prologues have fallen out of favor generally. You might consider making this chapter 1.
Edit: fixed link
I can see you've worked on the beginning especially. I might next start cutting out some of your 'he said's if they're muddling the rest.
It can absolutely make dialogue more clear at times, but it is sometimes not necessary. And it gets a little repetative.
One of my favorite things to do when early editing my stuff is to plug it into the hemingway online editor.
I tend to over complicate some sentances and they become confusing. Hemingway editor is excellent at pointing these out to me, as well as passive voice issues. It isn't perfect as a tool, and ignore it when it comes to certain style choices, but I bet you'd find it very useful.
I think I can expand on what /u/Mr_Romeo said. In my own writing, I tend to view my 1st draft as "word vomit". I want to get the story out and onto the page as quickly as possible, and the mechanics are not worked out.It is rambling, too flowery and descriptive, and a little confusing to anyone not in my head. I feel like this is where you are with this work.
When you go back to edit, it needs tightened up. Less unnecessary description and adjectives. I personally use Hemmingway for this. You need to fine tune the character interaction to make it flow better. The dialogue seems stiff and forced. These are typical 1st draft issues, for me at least, and it seems for you as well. I hope this is more clear.
Keep writing!
Such good critique!
So many wishy-washy words are preventing us from getting to the substance of this story. I'm not saying you have to strictly adhere to it, but I suggest pasting your story into the Hemingway app to see how many weakly worded sentences there are.
I had so much writing in the uniquely devestating magic system, the stark violence and horrors of war, the political rollercoasters of the ruling families, and the sinister forces slowly consuming the world.
Check it out on Amazon for a full synposis- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094Q6NJJK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_FPA8YVYVKC39KKMKY155
I think that's the fancy version like this guy:
Bizarro (and it might not be called that anymore) are those weird stories told from the perspective of a pimple on Hitler's while Bridget Bardot drinks a milkshake. Let me see if I can find it on Amazon.
Hold on and wait for an edit!
​
ETA: This kind of thing. Amazon Bizarro Example
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New Year, New Writing Contest at Kongfu Books!
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Top 10 winners will have a chance to enter into an EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT WITH US.
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It really comes down to taste though. Your most hated book could be someone's favorite. Just like music. Just like any art.
Is Chuck Tingle bad? How could this masterpiece be considered bad. He has won a Hugo award. His topics are...niche.
If you liked this poem and wish to support a fellow writer on his break-out journey in this seemingly endless pandemic, then go get yourself a copy of Viral: a Quarantine Collection
You've got some crazy ideas in there. I like it.
My biggest suggestion, though, is to "show, don't tell." For example, in the first paragraph from "A few days ago" to "probably already noticed," that's interesting stuff that deserves more than dull exposition. Don't trap us into your main character's head with only his reactions to things - try putting the astronomer into a conversation with a disbelieving NASA official, and reveal the information that way.
I think that right now it reads as a story about a story, because you're describing the action instead of showing it, and that means that when you break the fourth wall it seems like you're commenting on your own story instead of the events going on in it. Put us more into the action and then the story's self-awareness might work better.
You have a lot of material packed into only about a page's worth, so it's difficult for me to get a feel for how the story will develop. I can't really say what's "good" about it yet!
My recommendation is that you read Chapter 1 of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, about Arthur Dent's house about to be knocked down. (Amazon has most of that chapter readable: https://www.amazon.com/Hitchhikers-Guide-Galaxy-Douglas-Adams/dp/0345391802) Note that the author takes his time and develops the absurd scene with lots of details. Each of your paragraphs could be developed into a chapter like this.
There 's a guy called Steven Pressfield. Get his two books The War of Art and Gates of fire.^1
He has a similar hard style but his books are excellent and well appreciated. There will be people out there who will like your book if there are people out there who like his.
^1 As a favor to me grab them as soon as you can. They're just right for you!
Depends on genre, but for general fiction I'd recommend reading the comparative Mythology book The Hero With a Thousand Faces as this is the basic elements of every single hero saves the world story ever. I'd also recommend The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories. They explain how to get deep into the heart of all the stories we tell, and what they mean to the listener, and why you should use different ones to different effects. Otherwise Stephen King's On Writing is excellent (as said by a comment above).
I would also recommend Terry Pratchett's advice to writers: If you have a genre you like to write, read outside of it. It will broaden your horizons and help you find an original take on your subject matter.
Make sure you are reading. It doesn't really matter what you are reading, but you absolutely must read. I recommend at least an hour a day whey you can fit it in. Find things to read that entertain, challenge, and excite you. When I am reading my favorite authors is when I am most inclined to write.
I would also challenge you to write something everyday. Even if it is just a journal. Even if it is only a few words.
Stephen King wrote a book called On Writing a few years back. If you are interested in writing fiction at all, or really anything, it's a great, inspiring read.
Everyone is different, so different things will light your writing fire. I love watching youtube vids of my favorite authors doing interviews and readings. It often gets me back to writing when I have been away for a bit.
But you MUST read. That's the only "must do" thing. The rest is up to you.
“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” - Stephen King
I even understand what the scathing reviewer was saying. I have a thick skin, so it doesn't sting exactly, I just chuckled at how brutal it was. As another poster said, he was a bit of a dick but still offering criticism where it was due. The first chapter is the worst in the book IMO, and I feel that some dialogue there feels forced and needs retooling. Also, it breaks the rule of horror books needing to start off with an action scene, even if it is just to kill some unrelated character before cutting to the main characters. Instead, the first chapter does nothing more than establish the main characters personalities. I need to make it feel more natural so people like that poster will read past it and get to the exciting parts, which kick into gear at the end of chapter 3. From that point on, the introductions have been made and it becomes an extremely fast-paced story.
Thanks for suggesting the "Structuring Your Novel" book, I'll probably check that out. I read Stephen King's On Writing before writing this, but that was more about conjuring up your concepts and making a story fun. I need a more critically oriented writing book.
I do my best to read all the top books in the genres I am pursuing. I am allowed to listen to audiobooks at work so I get a lot of reading in, finishing a couple books per week. I've also written a couple 11,000 word short stories which have no comedy whatsoever and are strictly horror/suspense. It just sort of happened that my first long concept was one that naturally led to comedic elements, at first I thought it would be darker.
To satisfy you, I will add this to my list:
I will not add to my list of free tools that people should buy a copy of On Writing, which as far as I can tell is the entire issue you see me as an ass about.
Here is middle-ground.
On Writing has helped me and many other writers. I am not published but I don't think that means anything. I also have never submitted anything for publication, so your point is truly pointless. I also meant to tell you that the last 3 fiction books I read utilize the "essay style" that you were quick to point out. "The Brothers K, The Buddha in the Attic, Out of the Silent Planet"
Honestly, once you said that I knew you were regurgitating something you learned in school or in a book. I tried to respectfully accept your "critique," but you have gone full jackass. I'm not going to comment anymore. You need to fall in love with the art of writing again. People like you are detrimental to the growth of creative writing.
>I assume you mean said angrily, or said sadly?
Woah, watch those adverbs! They're another thing you want to avoid using a lot, too. They have a tendency to make one's writing seem lazy, think showing vs telling.
See, instead of: "Blah blah blah!" He said angrily. You could try a simple alternative: "Blah blah blah." He said, brows furrowing into a contemptuous scowl. See how the second example paints a better picture. (Notice that I also omitted the exclamation mark.)
But just remember that you don't need to explain the dialogue every time since the dialogue should really speak for itself, thus a humble said will suffice.
Also, remember that everything I said isn't necessarily set in stone. There may be a point in your book where it would make more sense for you to tell, rather than show. In scenes where brevity is key, you don't want to spend a paragraph showing when it could simply be told in a neat, short sentence, helped along by an adverb.
I'd recommend picking up On Writing by Stephen King. It's a short read, half autobiography, half collection of writing tips, and it really helped me improve my prose.
Punctuation, right away I can tell . You should get a book titled : The elements of style by Willam Strunk jr. and E.B. White. great 80p. book. Helps me a lot.
Ex: "Dad's picking me up.".
Past and present mixed up.
I would read Stephen King On Writing: A memoir of a craft, to read up on perspective also.
The Elements of Style isn't really an essential book for writers. You won't learn anything from it. You'll barely be able to use it to refresh your memory of rules you learned in depth somewhere else.
Nice list, but kind of a bad blog post.
"Interestingly, this is also a book highly recommended by Stephen King in his book, On Writing." That's not very interesting. EVERYONE recommends Strunk and White in their how to write books.
"This interactive approach is much more valuable than the simple lecture format of most books on writing." I would say the interactive format is more common than the lecture format.
Anyway, I would add a few of my favorites. The Art of Fiction by Gardner should be on that list for sure, it's at least as good as any of their how-tos.
And some personal favorites of mine which are more fun than useful: Steering the Craft
Any of Elizabeth Kay Gordon's guides to grammar or punctuation. Especially punctuation, since most people (including myself) don't use it very gracefully.
Notes on the Writing of Horror Fiction by Thomas Ligotti. A scary, weird short story that still has some actual good information on writing horror.
Keep writing. The only thing between us and the title "writer" is the act of writing. You'll get better as you practice putting down more and more words. It's just like playing a guitar. At the beginning even the A minor chord is difficult, but when you look back after a year, you can play it without thinking.
If you're looking for amazing books on the topic, check out Stephen King's "On Writing" and Steven Pressfield's "The War Of Art."
Two guys named Steve wrote two of the best books in the field :)
Love that you included On Writing. I feel like too many people overlook it because it blends memoir and thoughts on writing. I thought that such a particular blend really made the book a compelling read instead of falling into the trap many advice books do of getting boring very quickly.
Style is worth the read. You should also consider researching Pullum's complaints about The Elements of Style. That/which is a good example. If you look into the history of those words, you will see that English users rarely made a distinction in introducing restrictive or non-restrictive clauses. You will also see that around the late 1800s and early 1900s, some people suggested that it would be useful to create a distinction. The Fowler brothers are often cited for their hope that English users would start to follow this distinction. (Published in their book The King's English in 1906.) As you continue to investigate, you will see that British English users continue to ignore the distinction. You will find that American English users also ignore it but are taught that their ignorance means they are breaking a rule.
If you delve, you can get the education you need to properly score the anonymous Internet commentator against Prof. Pullum. When I read anonymous' comment about saving the that/which distinction, I know he hasn't done his research, therefore I give the point to Pullum.
I see The Elements of Style as a test - when you can read it and understand how it can't help you, then you've developed a sophisticated understanding of English.
I'm not going to deep-critique this one, because there are three things that need to be sorted straight away:
Switch to past tense. I.e. "All I can see.." becomes "All I could see..." The present tense just doesn't work for fiction.
To quote Stephen King: "The road to hell is paved with adverbs." The worst you have is "Astoundingly". It's the writer's job to astound the reader, not tell them that they are astounded.
Dialog attribution. Stephen King again: "The best form of dialog attribution is said, as in he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said." The question mark at the end of the dialog tells us it's a question, the exclamation mark tells us it's a shout or an exclamation. You simply don't need to say "I ask."
For the best beginner writing tips, get Stephen King's On Writing. As I say to everyone, he doesn't write classic literature but he's an astonishingly successful author. Read what he has to say and take it very seriously.
If you are writing in Scrivener (awesome program, by the way), do a quick compile into Word and then past it over. It's much more readable that way.
I would like more writing in order to know your character better. She seems like she'd be interesting, but I need to know more. Chances are, you are still getting to know Lucy. Like Anne Lamott mentioned in her excellent book about writing, Bird by Bird, characters often come into focus like a Polaroid photograph--a little black, then a shape appears, and then things start to fully develop.
The one suggestion I do offer is about your opening. As you continue this story, you may find this segment moving to later in the story--another beautiful benefit of using Scrivener.
Are you young? You have a good number of punctuation and grammatical errors. I also see errors littered throughout your comments on this website, so I assume it wasn't deliberate.
I would highly recommend Strunk's The Elements of Style:
https://courses.washington.edu/b572/public/StrunkWhite.pdf
On Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Style
I'm gonna take a different route here and recommend books that cover a lot of styles as opposed to books that are actually about writing. I kept this one from my Intro to Fiction class, just because it shows how many new stories you can make out of ones you already know (in this case, classic fairy tales). Collections like that can give you some pretty good ideas for developing your own style :)
Edit: Long day. I no do words good.