What are /r/enfj's favorite Products & Services?

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The thing about the "friend zone" is that the women who put you in it were probably never attracted to you from the start, and it's not like it would change because you used some magic technique or pick up line to win them over. I know that might be hard to hear, but the truth is, if women are attracted to a man it doesn't usually change just because they become friends.

Maybe some women can put people in this category in their minds no matter how attracted they are, but personally as a woman, I don't have a sharp distinction between friendship and romance in my head. I don't arbitrarily put people in one category or another when I get to know them. Either I'm attracted or I'm not, basically. I can be attracted to an unavailable platonic friend for years and it's not easy for me to just "get over it".

Having said that, if you really are attracted to a woman, it's probably better to ask them on a date (and make it clear it's a romantic date, not a friendly hangout) sooner rather than later - to avoid the awkward situation where you're close friends and then don't want to ruin the friendship. It also comes across as more honest if you make your romantic intentions clear from the start, otherwise some people might feel you were befriending them with ulterior motives.

I've also heard good things about this book so it might be worth checking out: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

I can't seem to get imgur to let me upload images from my phone, so I have to go old school with a link.

This is me in my clerical collar, about to take part in Key West's Fantasy Fest parade in 2014; I was serving a congregation down there and became close with several of the marriage equality activists, two of whom were the Grand Marshals. They asked friends to come dressed for a wedding (their float was a big wedding cake - they were the topper)... Because I had offered a fair bit of support and pastoral care, they asked me to be dressed in vestments. It was a proud, fun, and exhausting day.

https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=9C41C590AE3B7DB0!47661&authkey=!AOn7gCCszdD-Hig&v=3&ithint=photo%2cjpg

Edit: a word

The ENFJ part kicking in here is that desire to be known and understood, and you've touched a nerve in that regard. I've rushed into relationships and tried to make them "The one". It's part of that idealist's nature, right? But that was eventually kept in check with experience and age. If you want to understand the ENFJ, or any type really, I highly recommend readingPlease Understand Me II. I've learned a lot from multiple readings of it.

These will help!!!

Doing The Work, by Nicole LePera

Set Boundaries, Find Peace, by Nedra Glover Tawwab

It sounds like therapy would be a great starting point, as there is a lot that needs to be worked through here. I'd also recommend the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, as well as "Deeper Dating" by Ken Page. Always chasing after unavailable partners is a pretty common problem and I'm sure it's something you can overcome, if you are dedicated and willing to work on your own personal growth and healing.

ENFJ 37M here. I've been through a couple of things... but yeah - the main thing that will help is time...I know that isn't very helpful, but trust me in another 3 months - life will be much better. Find things to distract you from overanalyzing what happened. I know it hurts that he moved on so quickly and you are still healing from this. I think that is completely normal. I have done the same thing quite a few times. I'm ALWAYS second-guessing if I did the right thing when I have to end a relationship. Trust your intuition that you did the right thing. You were not happy and you couldn't see this being a long-term thing. Trust yourself and your judgment. I can't say that enough times. I also feel the pain of your friends being busy with their partners and you are the single friend on the backburner. Stinks. It gets worse when you get older. I'm going through the same thing right now. Use your ENFJ powers to go make some new friends. This might be a good time to do some self-love and things that you like - and in doing so it might help you refresh your social circle too. It can be anything from a meetup.com group or yoga.

Can't recommend this book highly enough The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Surivive and Thrive When the World Overwhelms You https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00I7JO28C/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_2M260TDCHQW47QQPC2G1 it'll help you appreciate yourself and your traits as well.

Sounds like an issue that you have to decide to make and no-one else can do it for you.

Try some meditation to reflect. Consider what your own goals, motivations, needs are presently, then picturing yourself selecting each choice, thinking, and just noting down about the pros and cons ahead.

Maybe some of these can help: https://www.headspace.com/articles/all-articles

I've been feeling the same.

Lately, I've been playing a lot of social deduction and party games such as Codenames and skribbl. It has helped tremendously, but it's not the same as meeting in person.

Yeah the same. I bet my friends cringe when they hear I've broken up with someone! lo...l I'm not depressed or anxious, but yes the empty feeling where there used to be that warm fuzzy from your person. The transition back to single life takes a bit but it's okay. I have a lot of personal stuff I should be tending to anyway. I looked at my match.com app the other day..and I was not in the mood for trying again anytime soon. We will be okay! Just takes a little time!

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

>When will being the good guy be enough?

Never, women don't want nice guys because they have no character. They're a spineless jelly who will fit any form that's required of them. Woman want a strong man who can act as a foundation whereupon they can explore themselves and the world. They want to be the flag and you to be the flag pole so to say. Go and read the book I posted, learn to set boundaries, learn to fill your own needs instead of others, learn to confront people when they cross your lines. Not only will you be happier while being single, because you've learned to be happy with yourself, but you'll be better with women too because they can see you being assertive and being capable of getting what you want.

-A recovering nice guy

I am a straight female, so maybe my thoughts here are irrelevant, I don't know - but you basically described exactly the relationship I had with a boyfriend before I met my husband. I told him I needed to hear from him every day and he told me he could only text me once every 3-4 days. I don't have a happy ending to my story for you though because it didn't last..but I did meet my husband shortly afterwards and realized what a perfect partner he was for me for many reasons including he actually wanted to talk to me!

I'd highly recommend this book. It changed the way I approach communication in relationships - Attached: the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love.

https://www.amazon.ca/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-Help/dp/1585429139

This is a book I recommend over in /r/ENTP fairly often: http://www.amazon.com/Unbearable-Lightness-Being-Milan-Kundera/dp/0060932139

It's basically about the struggle to find meaning in life, connections between people, etc. I usually throw it out there when someone is suffering a bout of nihilism hehe.

I'm doing Human Resources. It has the aspect of getting to talk and help people that I like, but I also don't have to get too emotionally attached (like the grandmother nurse Perfect_Booty mentioned).

I recommend the book Do What You Are. It helps to step you through what you might like to do for a career based on MBTI.

Also, you can always try and build off your background in electronics and computer technology. There was a reason you once had a passion for it - maybe if you look at other avenues you could try and see if there are other jobs that fit you better. You could try and talk to your manager or someone at work and they could give you a broader idea of what's out there that fits your current skill set or you could build off of.

It never hurts to ask to job shadow someone either (either in your current industry or a completely new one, like Psychology). Once you have a better idea of what you want, you can always try and narrow down what you want to go back to school for from there :)

Good luck!