Girl here, I find you handsome. I find your eyes gorgeous (I’m crazy about brown eyes). Your hair is cool, your facial features are all spot on. Not sure who told you otherwise, but hope you can put their opinions into the “others’ opinions compartment” and can avoid mixing it up with who you are inside and out. People are so confused nowadays that they rather express their feelings and needs in this tragic way of talking shit about others. It’s very sad they haven’t found another way to pinpoint and satisfy their needs, let alone providing peace for someone, even only by keeping their mouths shut. So if I may, I encourage you to do what you like and take some time figuring out what that is. And use that compartment for people’s tragic expressions, and remember you have nothing to so with their shitstorm thinking! You protect yourself and make sure you find a reason to live on! Get help. Vulnerability is a rare quality of quality males nowadays. To me the book Connecting Across Differences: Finding Common Ground with Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime book helped huge to find my passion. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1892005247/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_JDxeGbM1JZJC1
https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Amongst-Us-Olason-Chronicles/dp/B087SFLJFP
My official book launch is on May 8 but it is available now in paperback. Ebook is still in review stage with Amazon, but that should be available soon too
You have the bone structure and nose for a Lumberjack look -- https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/man-model-lumberjack_2522678.htm
I recognize being shy, socially awkward, and doubting every action you make. But tone those arms, throw on a plaid shirt with jeans, and you will turn heads.
If you'd allow a word of advise on how I handled my social anxieties, I'd be happy to share my tips
Hair. You have really soft, kind eyes but they're getting lost in the clutter.
I know you said money was tight, but just once I would go find a really professional fancy hair salon that caters to guys (google "gentlemen's salon [place you live], here's my favorite in DC), find a really well-reviewed place and make an appointment. A good haircut might cost $60 but it'll be worth it. And again, you only have to do this once.
This is the key: when they ask you what you want done, tell them "whatever you think will look best". I know it's hard to let go, but trust the professionals. You only have to do it once. Now you have a template for what future haircuts should look like, and can be recreated at less pricey barbershops. Also, they should recommend some reasonable hair products: gels, pomades, conditioners, etc.
Also, ask about the best way to wear your beard, or if you should wear one at all. These are experts. Their opinion matters.
I think if you clean up your hair and beard, it would improve your appearance by 300%.
I’m sure they’d probably help minimize them. This stuff works way better for old scars, though! I used it on an old surgery scar on my leg and it helped a lot.
It’s ok to be a wreck right now. You suffered possibly one of the worst tragedies in your life and need time to heal. Here is a post someone shared with me when my father passed.
Also this book: “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok” helped my friends understand their grief as well. PM me if you are interested and I can send you a free pdf of it.
Therapy is always a good idea in this circumstance, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Best wishes!!
I can't imagine the hardships that you have been through for a parent is a irreplaceable loss and eyesight is often taken for granted.
I hope you can find solace knowing that you live in a world where strangers from all over want you to know that you are not alone. We appreciate you for who you are and how you've stayed strong throughout your trials and tribulations. I hope the surgery turns out to be the way you go and if it's not, the world isn't over. We live on a planet that isn't governed by sight. Eyes are just one of the senses. You will be able to live a full life governed by feeling, sounds, and smells. There are even strangers that would happily volunteer time out of their day to help be eyes to those in need of help.Be My Eyes
I wish I could tell you it will be a cakewalk and that life will be easy. Life isn't easy for anyone, not even the priviledged in their lonely mansions. What I can tell you is that you are not alone and we are here trying to bring some light in the world for incredible individuals like yourself. Stay strong and remember to keep us updated. We care for you. We may not be standing there next to you, but we are just a screen away. Have an amazing day and hopefully a week filled with good news!
I honestly don’t notice the greasy, but It really bothers you so I wanted to offer this suggestion: https://www.amazon.com/Batiste-Dry-Shampoo-Original-Fragrance/dp/B00IUHZ5V4 <—— I know two people with thin hair that gets greasy easily that SWEAR by this stuff. Also, it smells nice.
Awesome. Negativity can lead to many things such depression, low self-esteem, and much more. Getting rid of what must do quickly because it can make one's life suck.
I believe this book titled "FREE YOURSELF" can be very useful to get rid of it and for a better life.
https://www.amazon.com/Free-Yourself-Discover-Overcome-Challenges-ebook/dp/B093H7LT9R/ref=sr\_1\_31?
Hey man. I developed thinning hair at 24. It’s a treatable condition. Don’t worry brother. Most hair loss is totally reversible now-a-days.
It’s an accumulation of DHT in your scalp. You treat it with Propecia and a red laser hat. Super simple. I reversed mine within 6 months. I’m 31 now and my hair looks like it did at 16. It’s really a nonissue.
The study of hair is called Trichology. You can probably look up a place around you to get the prescription from an MD, and the laser hat is now around $600 on Amazon. I paid 2x this hat about 3 years ago. Your doctor may recommend you their own brand.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079K2NQNV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_oTtXCbSE3NXSF
You seem to like world-building and video games, since that is the case, may I suggest Knights of Pen and Paper? I recognize it is a free-to-play game, but I get the feeling you'll like it birthday girl
This really helped me when i learned animation.
Well, I've been staring at your face trying to find anything wrong with it, and I can't! You are beautiful and have a great complexion 🤩
Also, your sweater looks very comfy and I want it!
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.herzberg.easyquitsmoking
This really helps too, gives you milestones for your health, and you can plug in how much a pack of smokes is so you can see in just a couple weeks how much you save.
The most important thing to remember is cigarettes do NOTHING for you. Allen Carr's Easy way to stop smoking" helps dispell the BS we use to justify smoking.
Not going to lie, first 3 days are REALLY hard, then the next two weeks will be challenging, but easier. After that it's really just mental. Nicotine is a powerful drug, if you can go cold turkey, I think it's the best method. If you fall off the wagon, go again. But I think you got this!
You're definitely not ugly! But trimming the hairs sticking out of your nose would go a long way in improving your appearance even more. My nose hairs do the same thing, and getting scissors like these was a game-changer for me.
You'd look great with some crew light hold hair gel. American Crew Light Hold Gel, light grooming cream, 8.45 oz https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0009ET3RI/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_A8M76MM6SF9ETZ8PDV16?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
My wife gets these - one useful coping strategy we found is to minimize their impact on your night of sleep, which means quickly processing that you're actually safe so you can hopefully go right back to sleep. I normally do this for her, but if you don't share a bed, having a comfort object, such as large fluffy stuffed animal you'll immediately recognize, to remind yourself that it's over, you're safely in bed, and you can relax might be helpful as a substitute. Sometimes she'll be back to sleep in under five minutes.
Personally, I highly recommend this, as it is the biggest, softest, most comforting stuffed manatee I've ever found:
I'm so sorry you had the experience! I've read similar stories about Imgur, so I like Imgbb because it does the same thing and seems to be completely privatized unless someone has the picture link.
You have the most wonderful, genuine, light-up-the-room smile, and gorgeous eyes. I hope you have an amazing day!
Hi :) I see you. Today is national suicide prevention day from what I saw on instagram. Someone posted that if you text "hello" to the number 741-741 that it's a crisis text line if you're wanting or into that for some company/support <3
Last week I was in your boat. I also have no (in my city) IRL friends. It's such an awful feeling. I want to tell you what I did. I went on meetup.com and I am super shy and have social anxiety so I didn't like, sign up for a bunch of social stuff or anything but I found some relatively non talkative stuff to do around other people (like to go horror movies with other people that like them, cause that's my thing) and I'm going to try to do that every once in a while. Maybe I'll make a new friend there, maybe I won't, but it'll get me out every so often and doing stuff with new people. You look like a very kind and worthy person. You are worthy of having caring and comforting people in your life. I know you exist <3 I see you. Please reach out if you want to talk. Your post touched me. I want to know how you're doing later at some point! I hope you post again in a while telling us you're doing better!
That sounds annoying but at least it shows you have so much creativity and ideas! If it helps, sometimes when I have to write stories as part of assignments (I do game design and I know that game stories aren't translated the same as book/movie/tv stories but maybe you'll find this useful anyway?) and I can't think of where my plot is going but I have a load of side notes and random bits of info, I use a story outline to try and see where the story will go next. The twelve step heroes journey I find especially helpful. https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/kalexander001/12-stages-of-the-hero-s-journey by the way, you're so genuinely kind and sweet. You're really gonna go places!
I'm a teacher too! I'm a major introvert and I go night owl in the summer; staying up all night working on my hobbies and weird projects haha..... plus I hate the heat so it's a fun way to avoid it and the sun. Idk if that's appealing to you. I'm really sorry about your friend :( I think that's how I became a bit of a loner. Do you have meetup.com in your city? What do you teach? <3 Hope you're having a nice Saturday
Anyone who goes out without you or without offering for you to come is not worth being your friend, straight up. Find friends that will want to spend time with you. You can use things like meetup.com. I think that's the website. But you can meet people that way, meet people with similar interests. Maybe find a group online for something you like to do outside of school. If your friends make you feel this way, find friends that'll make you feel cherished. You deserve so much better. I believe in you and I'm sending you all the virtual hugs I can. <3
I don't say this randomly, so please believe me when I say you have such a friendly face and a lovely vibe. I'm sorry that you're struggling to make friends. Take heart ... it's the society we live in, not you! I think it's just unfairly difficult to meet genuine, nice people, even if you're a good person. I second you using meetup.com and getting in touch with campus life and discussing clubs and volunteer options.
I can not profess to know what it is like to go through what's you're going through. I have been through periods of homelessness and had thoughts of suicide before though. I've also lost friends to suicide. Please, please, consider reaching out to the suicide hotline, text line or chat service in your area and consider sharing these resources with your family as well.
Suicide is an extremely permanent solution to a temporary problem. The one thing that is constant in our lives that we can count on is change. Things will change and that brings with it the potential for things to become wildly better than you could even imagine. My life has changed so dramatically since those darkest moments where my family was homeless and when I contemplated ending things. I had no idea what was possible for me until it's unfolded as my life has had a chance to happen and I am so incredibly grateful to still be here. I promise you, if you keep going, life will have beautiful moments and that it is absolutely worth sticking around to find out for, even when it feels too much to bear right now.
Here is a good listing of international places to find someone to talk to if you're having suicidal thoughts. Please take them seriously and recognize that many many people have had these thoughts, most likely even the people you look up to most. https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources/
Also, I've been saved by amazing strangers in 7cups numerous times and would recommend looking at that resource too.
I'll just say, that your feelings of sadness and frustration may be entirely valid and reasonable, and still they don't have to be who you are. You are so much more. You are inherently worthy of love and goodness. Please stick around to find out what your success story becomes.
Mental health care can be expensive, one of many things that’s messed up about our health care system. Lots of areas have free or low cost help lines and support groups. Try Googling what’s available locally. Online communities can also be helpful, and potentially less stressful than more personal interactions. There’s a free online therapy support community called Seven Cups of Tea (https://www.7cups.com/) that you can use if nothing else is available. Hope it helps!
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. From your history of comments to others. (I know kind of stalker like but I just wanted to get an idea of who you are.) You are so kind and encouraging to others. Take a little of that and spend it on yourself. You are working a full time job and school yet you still find time to eat right and exercise. That’s awesome! Focus of the things that are happening health wise right now.
Keep up the good work you will notice the outside stuff in time. (Which to be honest, you’re adorable)
Also get plenty of sleep. That’s a big factor in feeling overwhelmed.
Cheers :-)
1: You're 18, you'll find significantly better relationships as you get farther and farther away from High School. I know it hurts, but in the long-run this loss will be a very minor one.
2: Your "Best Friend" will likely regret blowing it with such a pretty girl. It may be an assumption, but you look like an intelligent gal who values hard work and being in the know.
3: You can use a site like this to edit your images - https://www.picozu.com/
I really like your nose, it took a bit of color leveling in pixlr to see it, but it's nice: pretty.
I mean... obviously you're really pretty period, but pointing out that even without turning up the bloom to 99% you're the definition of traditional beauty and don't let anyone tell you otherwise (especially yourself).
For anyone who doesn’t feel like they have people to talk to, I would recommend an app called Slowly. It allows you to write letters to people all over the world! There are many settings to set the level of privacy for yourself and to choose pen friends. And having to wait for letters gives you something to look forward to!
Is it against the rules to self promote? Because I'm not the self in this situation, and I'm anti authoritarian down to the level of Reddit mods. Learn Spanish everyone!
I like everything about you. Your hair!! Those curls!!! r/curlyhair your eyes!!! Your nose!! Eyebrows!!! Ears!!! Your lip line!!!! Fake that smile until it comes naturally. Huge hug!!! May I suggest a book: Connecting Across Differences: Finding Common Ground with Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime https://www.amazon.com/dp/1892005247/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_JDxeGbM1JZJC1
Sounds like you feel pretty disappointed and you are longing for connection and company to take a break from being alone. Girls your age might be looking for the hottest new guy on the block. But girls with values will look for the guys who are not only handsome but also have values, like you do. Show your personality right off the bat so those you will click with will meet you right away after talking. If you click, you click instantly. If you don’t it saved you lots of time that you can invest in finding girls you click. I think you are very attractive. You are super young. Try to find ways to enjoy life by yourself. The rays of joy you find in hobbies, personal successes will shine through and will attract more girls your way. To help with your confidence, may I suggest: Connecting Across Differences: Finding Common Ground with Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime https://www.amazon.com/dp/1892005247/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_JDxeGbM1JZJC1
Your worth is not your hair. Your worth is in the person that you are.
> I like it a lot!
This is really the only thing that matters.
> I feel in control of my body as weird as it may sound haha. Just because someone doesn’t like it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it.
Why would that sound weird? Lots of things happen with our bodies that can make us feel helpless, especially at your age. You've taken control of something that's within your control.
> I did it just because. A random decision.
Seems like a good enough reason to me. I did it for the same reason. I don't understand why everyone seems to think there always needs to be a life changing reason or existential crisis for a woman to decide to shave her head.
> Also, I don’t really enjoy styling my hair, so I did so I don’t have to anymore.
Your drying time is also going to go down to basically zero.
Isn't it weird how you can feel every little breeze now?
Keep some stocking caps handy. If you're anything like me you'll get cold more often than you'd expect. It's also a good idea to use sunscreen, a lined parasol, or a hat when you go outside.
I also have a really fun collection of wigs, in lots of colors. If you keep them brushed, even cheap ones look nice enough that I often have strangers come up to me to ask how I managed to achieve that impossible shade of blue. If you decide to get one, also get one of those felt wig bands so it doesn't make your head itchy.
You're amazing for surviving this, you've been through so much and you can do it. You've got this. Also really recommend reading why does he do that? by Lundy bancroft. It will only help.
Beard fan here. Get a good beard grooming kit. I don’t know if this is a “good one” just thought I’d give you a jumping off place. Keep it clean and tidy, it can give you a real polished look. Also, experiment with different shapes to see what flatters your face the most. So far, so good! You have striking eyes!
That’s good to hear :) but I wouldn’t necessarily call these things distractions because time spent having fun is never time wasted! What books do you enjoy reading? I just finished reading this book and it really helped me out so I would definitely recommend it!
Thank you! I've been using Curl Sculpt it's like a hair gel. Here's the link on Amazon if you wanna try it out. Keeps the frizz down for longer. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JIRZ754/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_KwglEb5SDZ5ZJ
I couldn't find the exact one. here is a similar pair https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G5MTS1R/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Xb4UDbS7ABZAP all I know is that the ones I got were from a seller on Amazon named "E-ForPretty" and it came in a 3 pack with red and purple striped ones as well.
Something that is helpful with fighting procrastination is looking at what you use to procrastinate, for example, if you love being on your phone too much, then you could get some help with putting your phone away when you need to do work.
One app that could help you is Procrasti Mate:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.iruss.mogivisions.procrastimatev1
I’m very similar, actually; if you’re a reader, I suggest Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown.
Regardless, the best advice anyone has ever given me is that you have to fail in order to grow. You have to do the stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward or whatever, because the only way you get better at that (or anything) is by trying things until you find the thing that works for you. You have to be able to be proud of yourself for making the effort, even if it takes awhile to get to the end result.
I think you’re going to do just fine, for whatever it’s worth. You’re super cute and you seem genuine and friendly; you’ll find your people in your new place for sure, and you’ll find the best people by being as authentic as you can be.
Good luck!!
Thanks sir! I've already purchased your book and will start it tonight.
First non-fiction book in a series around making chainmail Chainmail Made Easy
And a scifi/fantasy short story collection I published with a friend Tales of Fantasy, Fables, and Fiction
Yeah, you'd probably be surprised if you knew how many have been interested but never spoke up. I certainly am. Friends always tell me "x likes you" but it's weird because 90% of the time it's someone I barely know, or haven't even met. How do they even know me? It must be my sexy propeller hat in my Facebook profile picture that attracts them. Here it is if you want to try it lol