Seems to me that you're angry at yourself but directing it else where. I recommend you listen to the audio book of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Bit of a life changer for me when I realised that how I feel is not from what others do (which I cannot change) it's caused by how I react to my thoughts - which I can change.
>now with this small business I want to focus all my energy in it and hopefully make a family soon.
A few things I would say:
You don't want to jump all in on the small business because you're running from a job you don't like. With careers, we always want to be running to something we do like. Subtle difference, but it helps make our endeavors a series of actions leading to success rather than a series of missteps we can't seem to get away from.
The best way to transition from a day job to your own small business is gradually, unless you can absorb the financial loss of the day-job income without any issues. And by that I don't just mean "we can afford it." Think about what plans the cost of transition will put on hold for you and your husband and whatever future kids/family you'll have. For example, if the cost of transition means you're putting off kids for a while (for whatever reasons) then you might be more upset if you quit than just dealing with the burnout while you find a better way to transition to your own business.
I don't know how to solve your neighbor problem, but I would highly recommend investing in some earplugs:
I live near a fairly major city street where a motorcycle shop moved in. These things, and a white noise generator, have been lifesavers. (At least for me, it was the relative quiet to 90Db motorcycle engine with a radio that would wake me up. This combination dulls it.)
> Two beers and puppy
This comes from a book called Works Well With Others that is about how to develop soft skills in the workplace so you can get along with others and avoid drama and backstabbing.
The author recommends two types of tests when evaluating how you feel about someone:
Would you have two beers with them? Is that something you'd enjoy?
Would you trust them with your puppy for the weekend?
People who are yes yes are awesome people who you should keep close. no no people should be avoided at all costs.
Yes no people should be cautiously trusted. They're fun but probably not the most reliable.
No yes people you may not like personally(you might find them boring or insufferable) but you can depend on them.
This helps you decide how to relate to various types of people and makes it easier to manage a relationship with them that you find value in.
I’ll add a suggestion. Really focus on your health. Make time to workout - the energy difference has a huge impact. Eat well. And quit drinking. Drinking absolutely screws up your sleep, even just a glass or two. I would recommend giving it up for at least a couple of years.
Get the kid on a strict sleep/feeding schedule and stick to it like your life depends on it. When it was nap time or time for night night, we were at the house. Period. Very few exceptions.
You will be bottle feeding so that gives you both the opportunity to get 7-8 hours of sleep. For us, I would take the 8p feeding and then go to sleep then she would take the midnight feeding and go to sleep. Then I would take the 4a feeding giving us both a full nights rest. And on the weekends, when the baby took a nap, so did we. We also got VERY LUCKY and had a kid with no digestive or sleep issues.
Best book we read was Happiest Baby on the Block. I practiced swaddling a month before and was a swaddling master! Get a sound machine (9 year old daughter still sleeps with one).
The Happiest Baby on the Block https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381466/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_M69AGV1WSK8MQYRCSZB7
My liberal friends in DC are pretty shellshocked. I live in a very mixed area in Florida and there's an unspoken agreement not to talk politics with people outside the privacy of your home and only with those with whom you agree.
One of the things I've done is to disconnect from the news except in one way: a friend of mine has a daily email that gives a high level summary of a single new thing that happened that day, a single thing that's still happening, a thing to think about, a thing to do, and something that made her laugh. Everything is reputable sourced and while it's from the liberal perspective, she doesn't insult or resort to bad language.
Also, my family is Jewish. We lost people in the Holocaust. My parents and husband are--for the first time--paying serious attention to the news. I can't help but be happy about that even though I'm not happy as to why.
Did the talk radio for a long time. Then I switched to pod cast. Then switch to my play list. Its eclectic so, many different genres of music. But, I haven't listened to radio in years.
When I get sick of hearing everything and can't take the babble, which is often, I listen to audio books.
There is a free service for audio books. They are older due to copyright but, there are many classics and free.
I have over 20 years on you and this is me. I am female and never wanted the kids because I felt that would not be something that gives me satisfaction in life (very pleased about my choice), had the big jobs, doing well in life, and feel much like you.
I have always felt that this is just a meaningless charade where chasing money and some concept of "success" is valued by the majority. It is rather sad and pointless to me, when all is said and done.
Thinking that their is some great meaning is a fallacy, IMHO. You might be looking for meaning when ultimately there is not a great deal of it. Meaning is yours to make.
Read a little Victor Frankel ...Man's Search for Meaning. The point he makes is that those who survived the Nazi camps often had meaning in life...not necessarily religious, but something that motivated them to want to survive.
You have to make your own meaning.
It is that old saying..."life is what you make it"; yeah pretty much.
I just bought myself an instrument to try to learn to play; I suspect that it is late in the game to be any good, but what the heck. I have a pile of books that I hope to live long enough to read; from Plato to Raymond Chandler...and newer stuff too. That is why we buy books...we hope we live long enough to read them all. A little insurance for some immortality..maybe ;-).
And remember that old song by Miss Peggy Lee
Is that all there is?
Yeah, pretty much...it is up to you.
>I toyed with the idea of a stand to hold a digital camera (pointing downward) and photographing them two pages (open notebook) at a time.
You can do this all with a phone now. I'm a historian who does a lot of archival work. Over the last 25 years I've gone through a LOT of different scanning/photography/copying technology. The best compromise between ease and quality is a phone ap like CamScanner. With it I can shoot a page of text in a couple of seconds, it is converted to PDF and uploaded to the cloud while I am shooting the next. My last major archival project resulted in over 5,000 pages of documents scanned but it only took me a few 50 hour weeks, a fraction of what it would have taken with a flatbed or even a wand scanner a few years ago.
Do even more: Get yourself a bidet. Simple or fancy or something in between. It'll save the tush. Also, if you eat lightly the day before you start the cleanse, the whole thing goes easier. It's a lot of fuss over nothing and you get to avoid this type of cancer, at least.
this is the only thing that came to my mind: (the ring theory of support)
also, I guess, live your life, be supportive, but don't pry?
No. you got out of shape. Start an exercise program, even if it's just walking everyday. try reading younger Next year, great book for us old farts. they also have a couple of exercise books in the series.
Hey! Former CIO here, late 40s. Just made a massive career change (starting a business with an important on-line component).
Web development / design has changes a lot over the years, but I guess the good news is that if you did enjoy the coding, there is plenty of development to do. QA goes hand-in-hand so that's an option. Maybe you need to come up to speed on the latest language, but the fundamentals don't change that much, really.
For tech writing, if you write well, there is definitely a market because most tech people don't have great writing skills. I'm in Europe, so the market may be different, but can you find some people who do what you like to do and just buy them a coffee and talk (someone in QA, someone in tech writing) to get a sense of what's hot and what's not in your area?
A useful book for career change is Laura Berman Fortgang's Now What? book. She has a lot of useful advice for someone in your position.
I'm not sure about those "poor results"?
Violence is lower than ever. Unless you count exceptions like Baltimore, which we are not allowed to talk about.
I think abortion should be legal and widely available. But it's at an all time low. Birth control is getting better.
Yet another longtime Lastpass Premium user. While i like it a lot in general, it's fair to mention the disadvantages:
In short, it's likely okay and hella convenient, but there's a nonzero chance that there could be security trouble. If that bothers you, better go with an offline password manager like Keepass or others, and always a free software one.
Oh please. No. Tumblr is filled with "crazy feminists" the same way reddit is a redpilean site. Fair?
Tumblr is an excelent site if you are into art, photography and illustration. Not only artists post their works there, and there are hundreds of curated blogs where you can find many art types.
As a matter of fact if you go to the Spotlight area you can find a lot of different subjects: https://www.tumblr.com/spotlight
I understand the boredom and wanting to listen to something.
I will not do talk radio
The Brain Washing Of My Dad is an interesting documentary on Amazon Prime.
A woman's father goes from a life long decent guy to a hateful anger fetishist listening to talk radio on long car trips.
Years later after retiring his radio breaks and his wife asks the cable guy to remove Fox News. His personality started to return to normal.
Talk radio is simple inculcation.
No thank you.
Hey, I've struggled with chronic pain this past year which I finally resolved by reading the book linked above. Sometimes chronic pain conditions can have a source rooted in emotion, not your physiological structure. It wouldn't hurt to look into!
Hope you find your path - you got this!
I read "Man's Search for Meaning" following a deeply traumatic event at age 14. I can't recommend it enough. He was right, there was deeper meaning in what happened to me, and while it took several years to fully recover, it's stuck with me that my choices are my own.
Here's the obligatory link to f.lux. It allows you to shift the color of your monitor to an orangy color at night. It can help with making computers less of a strain on your eyes at night.
When you post something for sale on craigslist, you are told, "Avoid scams. Deal locally and meet in person. Beware shipping, wire transfers, cashier checks. Learn more."
There is money to be made (scammed) from people that post something for sale on craigslist and ignore those words.
For what it's worth, Amazon mentions the deckle on the hardcover version but not the paperback (they usually note when a book has a deckle edge). So if you'd rather read than listen, that may be an option.
I use BeyondPod - it lets me schedule when I want to update my podcasts. You can set conditions like "At midnight but only if I'm on WIFI and only if my phone is charging". It also lets you automatically set up playlists, like "The 3 most recent episodes of Podcast A and the 4 most recent episodes of Podcast B". There are a LOT of settings in this app, so it might be overwhelming.
Most Podcast apps will have a "directory" or "library", which is a listing of podcasts that they know about and you can browse them. But! If you know about a podcast already and you can't find it in the directory (like, maybe you found one randomly on the internet somewhere), the podcast will usually have an "RSS feed URL" that you can take and enter into your podcast app. Then, the podcast app will be able to look at that feed (when you tell it to) and download any new episodes it sees for you.
Three random podcasts I listen to frequently (that you may or may not like):
Another vote for metafilter.com here. Metafilter.com has reasonable, moderated discussions about member-posted links and ask.metafilter.com is a similar space for for user questions and answers. There's a nominal one-time $5 fee to join to discourage trolling, but you can browse without posting for free to decide if it's for you. Between that fee and the careful moderation things tend to stay on topic.
Use an antiperspirant - once before bed, another time after your morning shower. Putting it on before bed allows it to soak in and block the pores that you sweat from.
Try the Clinical strength stuff from a few different manufacturers. For me, the stuff with Aluminum Zirconium Octachlorohydrex Gly of a relatively high percentage works best. 16+ %
This is a great one for me, but if it doesn't work, try a different brand.
I recommend trying RIF - Reddit is Fun in the Play Store if you're using Android. Developer is called TalkLittle on the play store.
Free version works great, paid version is a one time purchase of... I think $5?
Knocks off all the terrible New Reddit crap. It's Dark Mode has been my go to for reddit on mobile for years.
Something to try in-between therapy appointments - pick up a copy of The Feeling Good Handbook by George Burns (library, amazon, etc.). It's a self help book, but it's not condescending or melodramatic - it teaches you the basics of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a process for catching your negative thoughts and shutting them down. It's helpful for depression, self-confidence, anxiety, shyness, etc. The book is a workbook - each section has exercises you can try immediately, so you don't have to wade through a bunch of text before getting to the good stuff.
>Arnold's Bodybuilding for Women
Internet search result: I don't know if it is the same thing, but guess it probably is. https://www.amazon.com/Arnolds-Bodyshaping-Women-Arnold-Schwarzenegger/dp/0671243012
Part of the commercial I mentioned is opening jars, doorknobs.
I have a countertop automatic jar opener, because when you can't, you really can't. Even if it isn't about the pain, you just don't have the grip.
It makes me feel frustratingly weak, when I'm not.
I've been using ynab for 16 months and it is the best financial decision I've made in my adult life. I went from living paycheck to paycheck to paying this month's bills with money made 7 or 8 months ago (without any job or significant salary change). And, on a related note, paid off existing debt and was able to get my credit score to the Very Good level from Poor.
YNAB has a free 3 month trial at https://www.youneedabudget.com/landing/camp-patton/
Two theories on green beer:
A) It's an American bastardization of perfectly good beer in the name of a holiday that doesn't even belong to them
B) People would drink so much beer on St. Paddy's day that they would have to drink beer not ready to be consumed called "green beer". Take your pick. Source
I miss being able to think. I swear that I can remember being quicker in the brain. I feel like my brain just needs to stretch, but it can't.
Sometimes, if something is very interesting, I can focus with something approaching what I fear everyone else has all the time. Especially if it's something useless, like Cookie Clicker.
Well, this: http://hubpages.com/hub/Drinking-Games-How-Many-Shots-Would-it-Take-to-Kill-You-Find-Out-Here, says between 10 & 20 shots to kill you but considering people have died with like .25 blood alcohol, I wouldn't get too crazy.
My aunt used the magnifier and it was helpful. Being able to zoom in with the ipad would also help --- though he can boost text size on a standard laptop as well (which he's probably already doing). With a Macbook/iPad he can use Siri for some tasks or searches. (Or another product like Alexa/Google Home.)
Is his workplace in an office or at home? Even in an office he could use a text-to-speech program with headphones.
I'd probably encourage the apps/getting used to audio, since the technology is only going to improve and if the vision loss progresses further, he'll already feel comfortable with it. Things like this look promising.
This one. Just got it. The old one broke. So far very happy with it.
Think of the gods as your better selves. Not actual Gods. At least thats what Ive done. There's really not much regarding "do this to worship". More of "be a good person to please the gods but also to improve yourself"
I'm not the person you responded to but this is a fantastic book to get you going:
I use this one.
Congrats on the journey! It will be a bit stressful but fun.
Good tips so far (furnace, roof, water heater, etc). Look for signs of water damage, especially in the basement. Rod holes happen and aren’t a big expense to fix, large foundation cracks can be a huge problem.
Another thing you can do is purchase a cheap (Amazon or harbor freight) electric outlet tester. Klein Tools RT210 Outlet Tester, Receptacle Tester for GFCI / Standard North American AC Electrical Outlets, Detects Common Wiring Problems https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01AKX8L0M/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VBVNCY31M9CQVAQABRKW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Plug it in a few outlets to make sure they are wired properly.
Don’t be afraid to question the realtor and get legit answers. If it sounds fishy, it probably is.
As for location it depends what you’re concerned about. Check local crime maps and if you’re bothered by noise, look out for nearby train tracks or fire stations.
Try this. Its small, compact and works every time. My parents had one when I was growing up that went to my brother. I finally found one for myself!
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=name.kunes.android.launcher.demo It has made the smartphone much easier for my mom to use and not get lost in all that the phone has. I'm not sure what a suitable Iphone substitute would be.
Not a fan of fiction anymore, though I did read a lot of it years ago. Back in the day I liked the usual stuff that teens liked from those times: the classics, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Tom Robbins, etc. Then I was drawn to stuff that was fiction but based on non-fiction: the John Jakes bicentennial series, Ayn Rand, etc. Now I only read non-fiction. Been a life-long reader of philosophy, and I find it interesting as it relates to my career in business and leading people. Books like Art Of War, and Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, and Politics, are texts that I go back to often.
The fact that you don't know what longhand means suggests that you may be one of those who can't do it. And "rarely writing letters" is not something to brag about.
/r/CasualConversation usually is an interesting and fun sub I've found.
If you have a particular hobby or interest you can try searching for the name of those too.
For more ideas post your request in /r/findareddit. Ask about a particular interest, hobby, or just about anything and usually a commenter will offer suggestions.
And a link with some more suggestions:
Hope that gets you started!
Have fun! :)
As an academic that reads for a living I end up using cheaters for hours every day. I also lose them. As a result, I gave up the search for the "perfect" pair and simply have lots of different ones. I buy them direct from China and probably have three dozen or more pairs between home/office/cars now, in a range of different styles. This allows me to switch them up for comfort if needed, to have pocket size (e.g. folding) sets for travel, to have bifocals for using with the computer, to have safety glasses with bifocal readers for the shop, to have sunglasses with readers, etc. It takes a lot of experimentation with styles/sizes to find ones I like, but when I do I can often get good ones for <$4 a pair. I've probably spent $200 on readers in the last few years but they are now laying around everywhere I go, and if I lose or step on a pair it doesn't matter.
With your apparent lack of technical know-how (no offense intended), your choices are either to hire or otherwise enlist a person who knows how to do this type of thing, or try to do it yourself with a consumer level program like iMovie. But if you've never done anything like this yourself then you're either gonna have to spend a few weeks learning the program in order to make a halfway decent result, or rush it out without having any idea what you're doing and wind up with a crappy result.
>It's true, but one of the catches is that by the time you're an adult and especially the further you get up the ladder, the more you become pigeon-holed.
This is true.
>I think that's why folks like /u/StudentofDuckworth are still kicking ass, because they're flexible, using a lot of different skills, following diverse interests and good at a lot of things.
This is also true, I believe. And the wonderful thing about it is we now live in an age where this is even easier. Online college classes, free online tutorials and instructional videos, easier transportation, and all sorts of other technology makes diversifying your skill set easier. I'm going into the healthcare field, but I've also taught myself, through exercise and studying people who do it much better through videos and written material they've put out, the principles behind strength and conditioning training and how to design a decent exercise routine. I want to get a personal trainer certification and do that as a side job. I also have an interest in programming, and want to do teach myself that at some point for fun, and there's plenty of resources, like Udacity which offers certifications in programming and tech jobs. I also recently started playing the guitar, and online resources have been very helpful and given me more stuff to practice. I've often thought it would be nice to own my own business, and if I wanted I could also takes business courses online while I work in healthcare.
Who knows what will come of any of these things I pursue. The point is it is easier for me to do these things now with all the technology we have, and the same goes for you. Start doing things that you really want, even if just on the side, and who knows where you will be in 10 years.
I met my husband from Match.com several years ago. I even started out on eHarmony !(didn't like that one much). As far as "meeting someone online" goes, yea, I'm glad it worked out the way it did for me and the dating apps didn't really exist yet then.
While I recognize that your post is in the spirit of this thread, I couldn't help but notice you saying that nothing brings you joy. I do get this, I've struggled with my own depression. It's typically a daily thing, tbh. I also have been struggling a lot recently with thoughts of my own aging and mortality as well recently. Actually had a dream last night about it and realized that I'm mentally woefully unprepared for it. I'm not sure if "joy" is ever really attainable for me, though I do have moments where I think I feel it.
All that to say that I hope you are able to find something that gives you a little spark of the elusive joy, whatever "joy" means to you. For me, gardening has given a little extra oomph in that area. It's really special to grow things from seed. I'm also in my 30s and still play video games and probably won't ever give that up until I absolutely have to. (Sidenote: You mentioned you used to play video games so I'm just going to throw out a Terraria recommendation to you. It has a retro feel and is quite nice.) Try different things. What's there to lose when you already feel like shit? Feel more shitty? Sure, but just maybe you'll find something that puts that spark of joy back in you. Once you've found it, keep doing it. There truly is so much beauty in this world, sometimes it's just difficult to find.
I've maybe had a bit too much wine, but your post really resonated with me and I felt compelled to respond. I wish you the best in life and hope you can find some sort of happiness. Even if it's just a flicker once in awhile.
For the most part I am a songwriter ( but I do some research and papers for the gov), http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_5284016 , at the moment I am putting the final touches on a modern rewrite of Romeo and Juliet. 28 songs to tell the tale, R is a biker J is a roller girl great fun to write, this is the bridge. http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_5284076
I'm a big fan of Dashlane. It stores your passwords, credit cards, bank account numbers, etc. in an encrypted local file that can be synced between devices (the sync might require premium). It works really well on both iOS and Android.
For security reasons we went to a Keepass password system. It took some minor adjustments, but afterwards it was awesome. I have hundreds of systems and user accounts. No two of them have the same passwords. My passwords are impossible to brute force hack because they are 20 characters of random upper case, lower case, and numbers.
My employer bought everyone a set of Bose QuietComfort 35 II headsets. I know folks hate on Bose a lot and I doubt I'd have ever bought them for myself but... They're friggin' amazing and if they ever break I'll be buying another set ('cause I'm sold on 'em).
I have a feeling she is collecting packages for her own benefit. She doesn’t want the “porch pirate” element near her from door. Maybe check out something like this? Keter Delivery Box for Porch with Lockable Secure Storage Compartment to Keep Packages Safe, One size, Brown https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RJ6QHCH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_MsK1Fb99EZKNK
There are a couple good trauma healing books that have done a lot for me, Bessel Van der Kolk, <em>The body keeps the score</em>, and Emerson, et al, <em>Overcoming Trauma with Yoga</em>. (Amazon links)
Being conscious of my feelings and aware of where I am emotionally. Having this awareness allows you to essentially act before being dragged into reacting, if that makes sense. I can choose to step away from this situation and calm down now, or I can wait until my anger is to the point that I am merely reacting. Just avoiding being angry isn't the solution. Anger is a valid and important emotion, it's how you handle the anger that's important.
You should check out a book by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence. Part 2 has an entire chapter (Passion's Slaves) dedicated to anger and rage that is very insightful. You can read a little bit of the chapter in the Amazon preview.
I just purchased and installed this system for my house. It took me and my kid an afternoon to install it. I was surprised at the quality I received for the price- night vision, sound, digital zoom, and it's expandable up to 8 cameras (they have a camera available that you can remotely move, and if I recall correctly, 2 way sound). I can also access it on any device, and program it to send alerts to me, which was easy to set up once I figured out that the sensitivity needs to bet set very low. I initially wanted a wifi system so that it would be easy to install. I did a ton of research, including asking professionals what their recommendations were, and finally opted for the PoE (power over Ethernet) system. You have one wire running to each camera- so depending on your house/situation that may not be a problem, or may be a massive pain in the ass. My situation turned out to be much easier than I had anticipated.
We have this and it works great. Motion Camera Great resolution. App works well enough. No monthly fees for anything. We've had it almost a year and it's been no trouble at all. Held up in the Phoenix heat fine. No wires, just solar. Alert system is decent on our phone. If it's a windy night we turn it down to medium because high tends to detect the palm fronds.
I highly recommend this book:Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends
Along with some good therapy, this book helped me cope with my own divorce, and I’ve recommended it to everyone who asks since. Hang in there; you can totally move past this!
Strongly recommend this book if you or a loved one is struggling with over accumulation of stuff. It really helped me understand the way my mom thinks and to talk to her about her things in a way that is productive.
It's not just for hoarders and really applies to anyone who gets overly attached to "stuff."
That is what I have done; have a journal book with house inventory, passwords, accts, photocopies of all id cards/credit cards/ssn cards ect. I also have physical folders in a filing box of all these things.
I also suggest taking your partner through bill paying/accts every 3-6 mo as a financial check-up
Lastly, we have kids so I have also gone over these things as well as my wishes, living will, and preferences for how death should be handled with both of them
Something like this might work for you
I use gufw as my firewall, and Betternet for my free VPN. I also have my DNS servers set to google's, (18.104.22.168, 22.214.171.124), and a Level3 as a tertiary DNS (126.96.36.199). The only thing I don't have passing through the VPN is my torrents. I don't really care if they see that I like to download 20-year-old shows, and seed Xubuntu 16.04.1.
PlayerFm has everything you need and more plus you can find and organize podcasts easily but check out 'The Moth' for great and true storytelling.
That should hold you for a while...
Also, I highly recommend replacing your light switches with these motion detecting ones from Lutron. Turns off the lights after 5 minutes of nobody in the room, and even has a light sensor so they don’t auto-on when there is already enough light in the room. This solved all my problems with the kitchen and living room lights being on all the time.
Speaking of Dave Ramsey, after taking his course (Financial Peace University) at my church, I bought copies of his Total Money Makeover book for my mother and my brother, and it really seemed to help them (in retrospect, I should have offered to send them to a local Financial Peace University course).
My mother got out of debt, and tells me proudly about everything she pays for in cash, or regretfully when she rarely has to get a loan/pay for something with a credit card.
Audiobooks and podcasts!! Excellent way to spend a 1-2hr commute.
Currently listening to Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning - very inspiring.
I like to think and learn about self improvement in life and business (preferably combined). Some other gems I really enjoyed and you might too:
Hope this helps! (also: please share if anyone has recommendations in this area)
Yeah, a lot of these books are much more than "here's how to be a business shark". A few examples:
Read this book and it will answer this question for you: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/ref=sr\_1\_1?crid=PC01GZTKP5MN&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+fck&qid=1654993165&s=books&sprefix=the+subtle+a%2Cstripbooks%2C95&sr=1-1
I had really nagging neck pain for a long time and I was on the verge of trying a chiropractor, then I saw someone on Reddit recommend this pillow. You can remove the stuffing, or add more depending on how you sleep. It literally stopped my neck pain immediately and I haven’t had any since. I’ve been recommending it to everyone. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EINBSEW/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_i_8T6VGA3WAV9B98A9WAHA?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I found both Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup and The Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War so good I could hardly put them down.
This is my preferred one: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07112NMX6
Though I actually use it as a 14-day organizer. I have to take a lot of supplements in addition to a couple of medications, but I use 2 compartments per day instead of all four. I have to actually take my medicine at 6 different times (annoying!) but the bulk are in the morning and evening and it's very, very easy to pull out the four things I have to take during the day so I just toss them in.
I've also tried this one but I didn't like it as much, I kinda like the case on the first one: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07H2GPP9D/
(Damn, I feel old! Get off my lawn!!)
There's a whole bunch of high profile conservative people who used to believe this claptrap, and then Trumpism came along and the scales fell from their eyes--that it was about social control by any means all along. George Will, Bill Kristol, Joe Walsh, George Conway, the whole Never Trumper gang. Lifelong Republican political operative Stuart Stevens literally wrote book called "It Was All A Lie". https://www.amazon.com/Was-All-Lie-Republican-Became/dp/0525658459
Message to all redditors. Download "Privacy" it allows you to generate credit cards for single use or regular monthly use. You can have a generated credit card for each one of your subscriptions and can cancel the cards anytime. Here is a link to the Google Play Store version, Apple users good luck.
Privacy Google Play Store link
I have only used the pink, but it worked really, really well. It's expensive, but a little goes a long way.
What kind of floss do you use?
Well, get this one. It works so much better than any other floss I’ve used and it makes you actually WANT to floss, because it feels so satisfying when you do it.
Limited-time deal: Tom's of Maine Naturally Waxed Antiplaque Flat Dental Floss, Spearmint, 32 Yards 6-Pack (Packaging May Vary) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EJOQII/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_dl_7MYQZZHXMM07TG4M97BH
Got this for my mom. Haven’t had to use it yet, so I can’t give you a review of its effectiveness.
ResQUp Self-Help Senior Lift | Get Up from Floor | Lightweight Strong Portable Easy to Use and Store | No Assembly No Slings No Pumping (Graystone) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071H5LK5T/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_1WS3YG3E0ANZE8AX33EK
I should have stopped playing video games at 26, but didn't, and often regret the time spent doing that and not something more productive, sigh, anyways....
You asked about doing something similar to playing video games, here's a couple of the things I do.
Make music. There's plenty of software for creating music. I've always had notes and tunes just "playing in my head". So, years ago found out about DAWs, Digital Audio Workstation software. They let you pretty easily make music with nothing but a laptop, you don't even need an instrument. Available at all kinds of prices too, including free. Here's a link to start out:
I went with Mixcraft Pro if you're wondering, seemed like the right choice for someone like me, new to DAWs, decent number of features (still haven't tried them all), PC based, etc....
Another suggestion, program. Learned how to program with help from the web. Got good enough on my own that through "friends of friends" who happened to own small businesses I started getting programming requests. Made more $/hr on those side jobs than my regular job. Anyways, maybe you've had ideas you wish there was a program for? Just a thought.
Last suggestion...interested in 3D printing? Have been learning Blender so I can send stuff off to be 3D printed. Blender is free, link below:
Ok, hope I've helped, best wishes!
Tokenization. The vendor never sees the credit card info. Apple doesn't store any on their cloud services. It's only stored on your device in the Secure Enclave.
Google works similarly with regards to tokenization, but I can't speak for how they store the CC info.
Yes, it's Bumble BFF, but the reviews don't make me think it's quite what it could be yet in terms of usage. Plus, we need something more like match.com than Bumble or Tinder.
I know there's churches where you do not have to be religious to attend, but they're not located everywhere and the social connections can nonetheless feel superficial and perfunctory (to me at least, and I've given a few of them a year + regular commitment, depending on where my family lived at the time). I'm not religious either but was just rereading one of social psychologist Jonathon Haidt's books and was reminded of religion's function in pulling people together, so I know you're correct.
Actually, it's funny you mention religion, because your comment earlier made me think of an interview years ago with Nathan Englander who coauthored a modern translation of the Haggadah (a book used at Passover seders, in case you don't already know). I think it was Terry Gross who asked him why, if he's not religious, he took on that project, and he basically said, (paraphrasing loosely based on old memory here), "Look, there's no reason humans don't get together regularly for secular occasions, but it turns out we just don't." Similarly, there's no reason we can't have chosen families just as devoted and long-lasting as families-of-origin, but it turns out we (usually) just don't.
>There's just not much bringing people together nowadays, and a lot that is pushing people apart.
If that's not a pithy encapsulation of where our society is right now, I don't know what is!
Sometimes it can go like this.
You are a Complete Disappointment were one toxic father's last words on his death bed.
A fascinating read that is somehow funny and triumphant.
Bottom line. It's complicated. A tough decision. Keep supporting your wife. She is lucky to have someone seeking to understand.
Do you mean something like this?
I know you're not contemplating divorce, but I read a book years ago that really helped in a positive way, not just in "avoiding" divorce.
So, you say that your spouse doesn't seem to have any interest in whether you are happy. Do you know what would make your spouse happy? Not what you think would make them happy (such as date night) but something else, particular to their needs/desires. This article may sound simplistic and hokey (ignore the religious talk if it's not your cuppa), but it was also very helpful in my relationship. We still occasionally/frequently say this to each other, many years later.
I’m so sorry that you lost your mom. I have also lost a parent, and although the grief never truly goes away, it gets easier to bear, and you will get used to the weight of it.
I think the most important thing when grieving is to feel your feelings. Do not try to push them away, even though sometimes it feels like you’ll drown in them. Just breathe and let the tears come. Feel the sadness, accept it, and it will pass through you, instead of staying and getting stuck. I think that grief, if you don’t allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up, can fester and come back later and much worse if you don’t allow yourself to grieve. Be kind and gentle to yourself. It’s ok to be sad, angry, guilty, regretful, frustrated- any feelings are ok. Name them, and breathe into them.
I also really, really appreciated a grief support group I went to for a few months after my dad passed. It was so helpful to be around other people who had lost a loved one, to know they understood the feeling, and to hear their stories. It really helped to hear their journeys through grief, to know that it will get more bearable one day.
I also found this book to be extremely helpful, it’s a series of quick daily meditations. I really liked the format and found it super helpful to work through my grief in short chunks:
I often would write in my journal afterward, too.
Suggest a Cat Door that installs in a window, no tools required or damage to a door like a regular pet door
On the Wirecutter recommendation, I bought a Tribit XSound Go in the spring of 20.
I'm very happy with it, I wouldn't have expected actual bass from something the size of a hotdog sandwich. I listen to music or podcasts about 4-5 hours a day while working and it only wants charged once or twice a week. I've taken phone calls on it an if I'm fairly close to it people don't know.
When you work at a company that has client visits, whose clients include fortune 10 companies, you need to look presentable. If you consider it 'douchey' to not hire someone with a rainbow colored mo-hawk to work in a professional corporate environment, then you don't belong in a professional corporate environment. And I don't mean startups, I mean the other 99% of the corporate world. I would not want to be responsible for hiring the guy that cost us a $50million/year client because of his haircut. But then it sounds like you've never worked in an environment like this, bruh, so you probably wouldn't understand.
They solicited for the job, and you applied for the job; end of solicitation. Unless they told you to call them back to follow-up on the interview, those follow-up calls are unsolicited.
More specifically, going to the definition of unsolicited, they 'asked for' you to apply for the job, but they did not 'ask for' you to follow-up with them.
unsolicited: given or supplied without being requested or asked for
Total life changer. Wait to fix, but get something like this put on for the future. I love the thermostat feature so it's not something I have to remember to do.
Shirts are made to be tucked or untucked based on their length. Sounds like you either have a long torso, or you’re trying to tuck in a shorter more casual shirt.
If you have appropriately sized shirts, then you can try out something like these to keep your shirt tucked:
Magnetuck Magnetic Shirt Stays - Quit Tuckin' Around! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KG6NLEE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_6NJRB9G2J4SNNQKTTEVK?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
get these kind of earplugs: https://www.amazon.com/Heqishun-Silicone-Sleeping-Swimming-Transparent/dp/B07GKT4TKT/ref=sxts_rp_s1_0?crid=GYSJ5X8FJ742&cv_ct_cx=ear+plugs&keywords=ear+plubs&pd_rd_i=B07GKT4TKT&pd_rd_r=0fcd7fd2-a38d-46a3-b4d6-b1d20d8a9836&pd_rd_w=3BosL&pd_rd_wg=INctq&pf_rd_p=53ef7f8b-c1cb-4ebe-8d67-39f3ca0ebaf7&pf_rd_r=SB8YVB2NTR8FRMX8TXKJ&psc=1&qid=1640737835&sprefix=ear+plus%2Caps%2C112&sr=1-1-5e1b2986-06e6-4004-a85e-73bfa3ee44fe
cut them in 1/2. They are pretty comfy.
If you get the right ones, earplugs aren't uncomfortable. Adjust the volume of your alarm to compensate or get a louder alarm.
I also got an eyemask that has bluetooth speakers in it and play brown noise.
Sounds like you are ready. If you have the finances, take the leap! Whats the worst that could happen? You fail and have to move back home? If you can manage to procure food for yourself daily, you'll survive. You live in an amazing time when you can YouTube or google how to do just about anything.
I know you are not a teen, but this book may be very helpful for you: Life Skills for Teens. https://smile.amazon.com/Life-Skills-Teens-Perform-Everything/dp/1951806409/ref=sr\_1\_5?crid=3191FZCNKYX9S&keywords=teenagers+guide+to+adulting&qid=1640623944&sprefix=teenagers+guide+to+adulting%2Caps%2C63&sr=8-5
We have a Breville Hot Cup that works really well, we previously had another one that had a pump in it, it was noisy and shit
Not a guy but I’m gonna give you the list that keeps my husband functional. He’s an IT guy with back issues.
A standing desk. He went to risk management for this since he works in a hospital. It may be different where you are. If you go this route make sure they give you both a regular desk chair for when you’re sitting and a still so you can lean back onto it when you’re standing.
A standing mat like you’d have in a kitchen.
[This is the mat](www.amazon.com/dp/B01HFKUJEY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8HWY7EF1GSR9XKHV8KGX?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1) he uses both at home and work.
Yoga. He swears by it. He keeps trying to get me to do it but nah. I’m good. I can definitely tell when he’s skipped a day or 2. He moves much more stiffly and comes home with more pain than usual.
He uses [shirt stays](www.amazon.com/dp/B01CZ820FM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_4ZR19NXJWW805EGPP5S3?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1) to keep his clothes in place. I’ve asked him how comfortable they are and he insists they are very comfortable. Especially since he doesn’t have to worry about any parts of him hanging out. He has one set of these but he usually uses the ones we get from the military uniform store. They’re cheaper since he tends to put them to the test.
Think about the work you want to do, what industries, and network. It is not what you know, it is who you know.
Trying to get through the giant HR keyword filters can be an exercise in frustration.
I have one of these, and use one of the lower tones (brown noise instead of white noise) - it sounds more like the hum on an airplane.
Before you spend money, you should consider testing out different colored noises. I am assuming you have a device that you don't my playing audio over night.
This article might be useful:
I sleep with a bluetooth enabled sleep mask similar to these and listen to podcasts. That works well enough for me. The only thing that keeps me from sleeping is too much caffeine, which I've all but cut out of my life (at least after 10AM. :)
I have a white noise machine about the size of my hand that I got from Amazon. I can choose multiple sounds, including the noise of a fan. I sleep with it next to my pillow so I can adjust the volume as needed during the night. It works so well for me that I never travel without it. Yes, I know I can get similar sounds from my phone, but I prefer this one. I hate to drive more business toward Amazon, but here's the one I have.
Sneakers that are all black and mimic dress shoes. Very comfortable, yet you don't look like they guy who is always wearing sneakers.
Well...you've laid out the choices you have.
You can go back to hiding it. Business as usual. You have said you're a good father, so you're obviously invested in your kids, and keeping your marriage stable, even if it's just for the sake of the kids, isn't always a bad decision.
You can confront her. State your position clearly: I think it is reasonable for an adult to use alcohol in front of children in a responsible fashion, and the vast majority agree with me. I am going to continue to drink beer. See what happens.
What I think is that she may be thinking about divorce already. Reading the list of issues above tells me she's tired of having three children. (Not saying that's true - just that it's her perception.) If this is the case, she may start building a court case against you. Given that, you may want to take the pot out of the equation, unless you live in a state where it's legal. If she does divorce you and it's a "secret that's not a secret", it will come up, so consider whether it's worth it to you.
If she accuses you of alcohol/drug abuse, you could lose custody.
You might like the book The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. It talks about the Four Horsemen of Divorce: criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness. Sound like anyone you know?
As well as the other ideas mentioned already (particularly snowball or avalanche) can I highly recommend YNAB. It’s $6.99 a month or $83.99 a year, but you get a 34 day trial to try things out and save up money for the payment. It does mean trusting your finance data to a web based cloud service too, which can feel a bit daunting.
If you can’t afford to pay for the service, or don’t trust the cloud for your data, you can still get a lot of really useful information about budgeting from the website so it’s worth a thorough browse, and then you can perhaps use the envelope method instead (look it up) to do your budgeting and make sure you are able to put as much money as possible into paying off your debts.