What are /r/breakingmom's favorite Products & Services?

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Oh yes the leashes help. My son,7, is autistic and nonverbal when he needed to ride on a plane he had this wrist leash attached at all times. It gave him a few feet where he could walk on his own and even run a little but in a safe way. I had several emt, police and security people stop and tell me what a great device and thay they wished more people used them. We have used them at stores and many other times. My son will grab it and hand it to me. He likes using it because he understands he can go a little farther and doesn't have to hold my hand while using it.

The "leash" I use. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0738RLPLW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_TQYBBbMTRCV1V

Edit: My son is nonverbal and a runner so if he runs off or gets separated he can't tell someone who he is. He has a medical id but doesn't like people to touch him and so will fight, bite and kick someone if they want to see it.

Oh I'd be petty. I used to carry this pouch that held one or two diapers, cream, and a few wipes in a ziploc. It fit into my (somewhat admittedly large but very useful) purse. So, I'd switch to that. No one is going to grab your purse...and they'll have to blatantly ask if you have any diapering supplies with you, for which you should say 'Yes, but i only have enough for daughter. Did one of the twins go back to diapers?'

Because nothing pisses me off more than toddler competition. Who cares which kid does what first! You've got the right attitude; it doesn't matter, no one goes to K in diapers, so why be snobby or secretive about it.

I have a keypad coded knob on my pantry, and a combination buckle lock on the fridge. I have an autistic son who will gorge on everything with no rhyme or reason if I don’t keep it locked up. All the kids know I’ll get them a snack of choice if they ask.

I highly recommend the buckle lock thing, it will probably work on a stand up freezer. This is what I have: KEDSUM 1X/10X Double Sided LED... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BJFR69X?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Hugs and wine and ice cream!

>"it can't be PPD at almost 9 months. That doesn't happen."

Um, yes it does. "It can develop anywhere from a few weeks to a year after delivery, but it's most common in the first three months postpartum." (https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/ss/slideshow-postpartum-overview). Plus your symptoms started 5 months ago, it's not like it's anything that just now appeared anyway.

Keep badgering your OB's office.

This is what I buy for Dude. It's got quick clot, gauze, duct tape, gloves, antiseptic, and a bag for the waste or chest wound. It's $20. He's SAVED two lives with this and the tournequets I stock him with. Medical goes as fast as they can but in those two cases they would not have had enough time.

He also carries small bags of gummy bears, bottled water, and protein bars because the situation has warranted getting food and/or sugar into someone without overloading them.

If you are talking about a Puddle Jumper they come with a booklet that states over and over that it is not a life-vest and should used that way. It's a pool toy, and it requires adult supervision. Basically any kid that requires a floatation device of any kind has to be watched carefully.

I'm not trying to sanctimommy you. It could have happened to anyone and I'm sure it was terrifying. It was good that you were right there. But it wasn't the device's fault. They are explicitly not rated to be life-vests.

Edit to add that this is still a really good post! Anything that helps to make people more aware of pool/water safety is a good thing. I don't know about others, but my parents were very lax about water safety, and it's a miracle neither of us drowned. It's definitely a good thing to share stories like this and get people to double check what they are doing around the water.

You can also report him to AirBNB and tell them that he is renting illegally and that there are parties and that you will be calling the police every night on him. Bonus if you contact Airbnb through twitter (they are very responsive) and make sure to have his listing link and his name and everything ready.

A Potette travel potty. They have little bags like a dog poop bag but it’s lined with an absorbent pad. So kiddo pees and poos in the potty, remove the bag, tie and toss! Our local parks don’t offer bathrooms (and I have four kiddos aged 9, 4, 4, 2)so a potette, baby wipes, and hand sanitizer is awesome.

Potette Plus Potty Training Seat Toddler Travel Toilet Chair Liners Books Bags With Toy https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0187ZQWSI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_7KSNEG4PTM9YVBM3TGZ2

If you already asked him not to grab your breasts and he does it anyway (extreme wtf, FDH), I feel like you'd be justified in jabbing his nuts with a knee.

Edit: or maybe you need a new bra.

Here's the fence I have and love. It's held up great for 2+ years so far!

Here's the thing. If you're asking for some time to yourself, and he is telling you that you don't need it or arguing, you need to stop asking. There were times where my husband didn't want to watch the kid. I plopped the baby in the bathroom while he was in there taking a 1 hour manshit, shut the door, and took a walk or drove somewhere. I put the kid in whatever place he was in, INFORMED him that I was taking a nap/bath/going to bed early, and left him to it. It's his fucking kid too. He doesn't ask you, he just presumes that you will care for the kid while he does what he wants. Do the same until he is used to taking care of his own kid like a parent. Don't enable his bullshit anymore.

Some shows on Netflix are available for download now! I don't know how much space you have one your phone/laptop/tablet, or how big the file size is (I assume pretty big) but maybe this is an option? Also, Project Gutenberg has free e-books for download.

Good luck, you are a warrior! You got this!

Have you heard of the term compulsory heterosexuality? I have a few friends who have felt maybe they were always a lesbian, but didn't realize it until later in life. They said this document really helped them think about things. Leaving it here for you in case it is helpful. I also think there is a subreddit for late bloomer lesbians or something like that where you may be able to find support or similar stories.

https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf

I missed your previous post. I was 6 or 7 when I started self-harming -- scratching myself and hitting my head -- and because it was ignored I found quieter ways of hurting myself, but the hurt never went away.

I started to see that my son (when he was 3ish) would pinch himself and punch his privates when he was frustrated or angry. I used to sit with him and try to acknowledge the action and see what we could do instead, with a lot of "I won't let you hurt yourself" kind of language. The same language I use if he lashes out and swipes at his sister, except directed towards himself. We have done "hug-outs" where I tell him to grab me and squeeze as hard as he physically can for as long as he can. Belly breaths. Holding an outstretched hand, thumb towards nose, and blowing out each finger like a birthday candle. Yoga. He really liked this calming wand and we have a couple around the house for him to take to a quiet corner and just breathe and chill out. A friend gave me a weighted lap pad that her autistic son loved but grew out of.

There are lots of good sensory things that you could try (autism resources have been helpful; my son is not autistic and I'm not suggesting yours is, but that's the search term that's gotten good results) that redirect the energy into something peaceful or constructive.

I really hope that your kiddo gets the help he needs. Please be gentle with yourself, too -- this isn't your fault and it sounds like you're fighting like hell to get him seen. My boy will be 6 next month and I'm seeing a lot of the "good" behaviours coming through more often than the "bad", but it's a conscious battle. Give your kiddo an extra hug from me tonight.

Gurl. Liquid. Iron. I was severely anemic and had high blood pressure AFTER GIVING BIRTH. I had to be put on blood pressure meds. My midwife told me to get liquid iron, that it would be easier on my bowels and easier to take. IT WAS AMAZING. You need to drink it COLD, though. Otherwise it tastes like straight-up ass. LIQUID MOTHERFUCKING IRON.

So I suck at grief and don't have any advice on how to help her emotionally afterwards. But this popped in my mind right away. I know kids always have their phones and take 1,000's of pictures. But with this you can print up any special pictures for them and they could record their own memories of those times together. That way when she looks back at them she's not just remembering from her point of view but she can hear his voice too and his memories.

Amazon.com: Talking Photo Album, Deluxe Edition, Voice Recordable, 200 minutes recording: Home & Kitchen https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CYLEBSO/ref=asc_df_B01CYLEBSO5334225/?tag=hyprod-20&creative=395033&creativeASIN=B01CYLEBSO&linkCode=df0&hvadid=238359256277&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11231903956859317046&hvpone=&hv...

I use this little guy, it was intended as a baby cam but it’s one of the cheapest on the market.

Like others said, signs would make a druggie uncomfortable, at least. Probably too paranoid to use right there off your property.

When you do call the non emergency line, I would suggest asking them how to help prevent suspicious and illegal activity near your home. That and how to help the state of the road in the back of your property. Who knows, if you sweet talk em they might send someone to patrol through the road every now and then to see what the idiots are up to.

Wansview Wireless HD Camera, WiFi IP Security Surveillance Indoor Camera for Baby /Elder/ Pet/Nanny Monitor with Night Vision K2 (black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JGBIC80/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_3iz6CbSREPM24

My 2 year old HATES the stroller but she's a runner and I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I just can't do it. It's hard but I just ignore her. I don't give her the satisfaction of winning this fight. It's for safety at this point.

Something we did when she was younger was buy something similar to these straps (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001DVRTEA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Ir9fBb6GWK44S) (sorry, I dont know how to format on mobile) and hook her favorite toys on them. Maybe that would be a distraction enough?

Is she still in an infant carseat? Mine did much better when we left her in the seat and just clicked it into the stroller.

Umm... no no no no. First of all he should be going with you, secondly, he NEEDS to get his butt in gear and stay home with the kids. If it's him that has something less important to do, then HE should find a sitter if it's so damn important, because what you are doing IS important.

You might want to check out the book All the Rage: Fathers, Mothers and the Myth of Equal Partnership

You don't have to read it chapter by chapter or anything, you can pick it up and put it down, but it really breaks down a lot of men's bullshit and gives some ways to counteract it. I read so many passages of it to DH I thought he was gonna slap me.

Oooh Madeleine! Free-thinking girl.

Or this book, which tells children that labels are silly, and it's about who they are inside: Red: A Crayon's Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062252070/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_JVCcCbXANDCVW

I got part one (part one!) of my gift this week! Not near my phone to take a picture, but it's this bad boy! I'm fucking stoked, I love Serious Eats and it's gonna be fucking awesome to have an actual physical cookbook I can leaf through instead of bullshit allrecipes and stupid mommy blogs where you have to read through twenty pages of stupid sanctimommy bullshit before you even get to the recipe!

And holy shit, it's HUGE! It talks about everything! There's chapters on pasta, steak, chicken, all the fun stuff! And there's conversion charts right inside the cover so I don't need to ask google how much a cup of flour weighs (for the thirtieth fucking time!)

I love it! <3

There's a great book series about helping kids deal with things like anxiety or OCD or temper. When my daughter gets anxious about things being done in a specific way we call em worry bugs. The book helps kids be able to identify such moments and be able to get through them better. It's def a big help bc before I would just be frustrated and think it was a discipline issue but it's deeper than that.

Here's one of them!

Here’s a link to the things I use on Amazon

Super easy. Just boil the eggs like normal, dunk it in ice water for just a second (so it’s still hot but you don’t burn yourself) and peel the egg. Then smush it in the shaper and stick the whole apparatus in ice water. Ta dah! Shaped eggs. It works best with extra large eggs.

In the car I'd probably use something like these but I never let my kids drink anything but water in the car after the Hot Cocoa Incident of 2009.

This isn't just bipolar. My mother is bipolar, would never even dream of doing something like this to her children or grandchildren... Maybe my father.... But he would have to really fuck up.

Seriously, this is NPD. It isn't safe. Being grandma or mom doesn't excuse this. You should check out /r/raisedbynarcissists

If you are both determined to remain in contact with her, please check out this book - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/p/boundaries-henry-cloud/1100007927/2691067775192?st=PLA&amp;sid=BNB_DRS_Marketplace+Shopping+greatbookprices_00000000&amp;2sid=Google_&amp;sourceId=PLGoP23937&amp;k_clickid=3x23937

It comes highly recommended from my husband's sister. Their mother is NPD

The cute backpack ones. Kid can choose their animal, and carry their own snacks in it (tiny pocket but hey they are helping!)

I had a monkey for oldest... It has disappeared. Luckily lil bit likes being in the pognae.

Amazon link to something that might work?

Another amazon link for the cuter animal ones

Fuck yeah! I joined. My name there is PurrlyGirl. I'm losing from 320lbs, I'm down almost 60lbs now and counting. Would love new friends. :D

You may get a cast cover. My 4 year old broke his foot at the beginning of the summer, and this saved us.

https://www.amazon.com/DryPro-Waterproof-Vacuum-Sealed-Cover/dp/B000LX5AUQ

Why not ask your son (in a couple of days) if he still wants to go? I figure his attitude towards the trip will be the deciding factor.

I just got these for my son and he loves them. The chopsticks pop out of the top animal part so you can throw them in the dishwasher or whatever.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078SS88MJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_60wSCbH913J7K

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

I'm on the other side as I was the one who cheated, but we stayed together. Things were not great, it took a lot of therapy sessions together to move past and find our new normal but now we are happy again. Is he willing to go with you to couples counseling? It won't magically fix things, but can get you on the same page and is a way for him to show you he really does want to fight for you. This book was helpful for us. It's perfectly normal to still love him and yet feel like he is a complete stranger to you now. If you have any questions or need to rant, please feel free to PM me.

And they have pockets!

I once told a friend about our old house being very acoustic and husband would crack sodas while I was trying to get the baby down.

She rolled her eyes at me and said, “really?? Cracking sodas??”

I’m thankful that she had such an easy time with bedtime, but when you’re on hour two of a bedtime that signifies the 30 minutes you’ll get without someone attached to you before starting all over again, yeah, big noises are a big deal.

Not to mention I’m stuck in a dark room, motionless, can’t use my phone, while husband chugs soda and kills monsters.

Also, husband would always be so sad that he couldn’t “hang out” with me, but once I made him take over bedtime, he fell asleep every fucking time. �� If didn’t have school work to complete after being a stay at home mom all day, maybe I’d have that luxury too.

ANYWAYS, JESUS CHRIST SORRY FOR THE RANT ON YOUR POST I GUESS I HAVE A LOT OF RESENTMENT ABOUT THIS.

If I would accidentally step on the creaky floor spot, I would literally crumple and wish I was dead.

I was always skeptical about the white noise machine but it has saved my sanity so much.

this is the exact one I have.

I read all the reviews and the sounds are good, doesn’t cut out, doesn’t take up much space.

Shit, even I sleep better with it.

Oh wow I'm suddenly having a memory that "bathroom books" were a thing. I think we had this one - I learned a ton of classic literature that way lol

Voodoo doll (Amazon and Etsy both seem to have a variety)

Gift certificate to a doggy day spa

Relaxing scented candle and some pampering stuff

Adult coloring book with swear words (BULLSHIT: 50 Swear Words to Color Your Anger Away: Release Your Anger: Stress Relief Curse Words Coloring Book for Adults https://www.amazon.com/dp/1520548753/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_5DVbBbPY1XTXB ) and some colored pencils

I'm sorry this is happening so quickly.

Have you heard of the 5 stages of grief? Even if you know them it might be worth a refresher. https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

Also, knowing the signs of impending death might be helpful to prepare yourself. Changes in breathing patterns can be really stressful to observe.
https://www.webmd.com/palliative-care/journeys-end-active-dying

My dad, who I was estranged from killed himself a few months ago. I didn't expect to take it nearly as hard as I did. I was never a part of his life and I went through all the stages of grief listed above. I was forced into having a relationship with him at the end that was extremely damaging to me. So be cautious with well meaning people pressuring you to do things you don't want to. You may be unsure but try and trust yourself.

I hope that your mom passes peacefully. Hugs

a friend of mine told her kids they were going to disneyland via a clue-based treasure hunt. she wrote everything out on notecards, planted clues around the house and then the big reveal was split up between several cards wrapped in several nested gift boxes.

maybe you could give her a 2019 calendar with the concert date circled/highlighted/covered in stickers, and craft a card with a pop-up stage and a cut-out jojo siwa, and put the tickets in the card?

I highly recommend purchasing some emesis bags. They saved my life during pregnancy. I kept them in my purse, the car, and every single room in the house (plus one in the shower stall). Perfect for when you're exploding out both ends.

These were really sturdy: Medline Emesis Bags, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00839SNUE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Gdp0BbXZAP47V

The plastic O-ring can be ripped off when you're done heaving so that you can tie off the bag. Good luck, mama!

It’s so hot where I live too and my thighs rub like crazy. I bought a stick of body glide and it is life changing!

Do you have any recommendations? I bought

MelodySusie Dark Brown Curly Wig - Fascinating Women Long Curly Wig with Wig Cap and Wig Comb (Dark Brown) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008I0I11Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_P4lzzbCXPCGH7

Bc it was reviewed well on amazon, and it was kind of an impromptu, spur of the moment thing! If I like it I will definitely buy more!

“Mommy, wash them!”

Oh no. It’s nice to have a smart kid, but when they use their very bright minds against you, it’s like being trapped with a tiny dictator.

I hate to be that mom, cause I know TV is bad for their little minds. But for this transitional period of weaning, is there a show she would watch? When they get used to skipping some on-demand sips, sometimes something clicks.

My first was like yours. I was a 24/7 juice box. What worked for him was distractions and delays.

Also get a few mantras for yourself. When they cry and claw us, our responses can be emotional and just send them into a bigger tizzy. These were the mantras that helped me: “After lunch we will have milk.” “I have no more milk for you. I have to make more.”

You will be saying it over and over, but the repetition will help you both. You don’t get as swept up by their pleas/cries, and they can’t feed off of novel responses.

Maybe gradual change will work for you, with lots of whiny days, or maybe more stark change, with fewer, super upset kid days. Neither is evil. Your kiddo is two, you love them and care for them, and they have had tons of awesome milk.

We also liked the book Loving Comfort . It describes to kiddo the other comforts they can still find with mom, touches on their sadness about less nursing, then talks about their interests in other things around them, and how mommy’s comfort is always still there (in non-milk ways).

Being over nursing is such a hard time. I don’t blame you for feeling like crawling out of your skin.

If anyone is looking for a book : super duper safety school is great. We got it before my child started 4K, and it explained things in a clear kid friendly way. They talk about tricky people, etc. https://smile.amazon.com/Super-Duper-Safety-School-Grown-Ups-ebook/dp/B01K7T52OC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=PAL0DYEL9FS0&amp;keywords=super+duper+safety+school&amp;qid=1566645482&amp;s=gateway&amp;sprefix=Super+duper%2Caps%2C158&amp;sr=8-1

so, i found my grandma's dick bag when i was about 10. a duffle bag, actually. there were vibrators, dildos, vhs porn, and the Nancy Friday books. so, that was how i learned about sex.

'Crushing responsibility'

Those are key words that I use when I have to explain to DH why I am so incredibly frustrated. (In my case, he WANTS to be equal, but he's not fucking capable of doing so without me setting up the structure for him to do stuff...thanks ADD.)

We also argue about the house, in our case DH has anxiety and gets all pissed when there's a toy out of place or a stack of mail on the counter, whereas he'll ignore mold growing in the shower because he 'doesn't notice'. We solved this by getting a housekeeper. It hurts financially, but it eliminates arguing over cleaning the bathrooms.

What I've learned is that men are habitual. It's a lot of work to change habits. So what habits can you change? Can you talk about how to better do things? Can you say 'No, I'm not going with you to the store, I need alone time'?

I read, a lot. I've read this book at least 3 times now. I try to recognize my own people-pleasing habits and consciously change them.

I don't have the answer though. My DH will cook, but I have to literally take out everything first or he 'can't find anything' even though we have one of the best organized kitchen per anyone who visits. He won't get up and make me breakfast, and has never, EVER, made me coffee (we've been together 15 years) whereas I've expanded my skills to know how to make everything he likes, the way he likes it.

I was in therapy for a while, and that helped a lot. You might want to try it out just to figure out where your priorities lie as far as your own happiness. But I don't have any answers, only commiseration. Marriage can be so lonely.

What about a water table or toy sink you could fill and let her play in rather then having to keep the water running on your regular sink?

Couple of thoughts:

1) how many clothes are you and your family members wearing per day? My husband would prefer to wear one shirt in the morning, another shirt to work out in, another shirt after that, and then some shorts after work. That makes so much laundry! So, new rule is you get one outfit per day + work out clothes. Purge the rest of them! (Check out the konmari and capsule wardrobe subs for some excellent ideas on minimizing without feeling like a minimalist— I think we tend to over consume without realizing)

2) do you need to fold or hang everything? I don’t fold my kids clothes or kitchen towels. My kids have traditional dressers, but if I had to do it again, I’d buy one of those four cube organizers with the box drawers (like this one and just have one cube for pants, one for shirts, one for pjs and one for underwear and socks (I do pair the socks, even in the toss it in drawer, because mismatched socks really irk me!)

Finally, thought 3) consider your wash schedule. I like to throw in a load of laundry each morning, but you have to commit to putting it away before you go to sleep (this is where I struggle most). I try to do something I enjoy while folding, like a quick podcast or a tv show... and I try to do it as early in the day as possible. No one wants to fold laundry at 10 pm when you’ve been up since 5!

Hope those help you sort (haaaaa) through this!

Holy moly YES! My daughter was 4, and wearing size 6 clothes. She's 6 and is in a size 8, and it's killing me to find her non-booty shorts for the summer. She's so lanky and all arms and legs. It's horrible. And husband being super conservative isn't helping!

Also we got my daughter's pirate costume when she was 2 on amazon and she wore it until she was almost 6. I can't find the one we got, but here's one that is similar

Step 1: Punch her in the mouth with a donut. Lovingly, though, so she doesn't call the cops on you.

Step 2: Cram a donut in your face.

Step 3: Whenever you are ready, and it's on YOUR terms: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ also has apps for iOS and Android. Popsugar Fitness has free workouts, Youtube has tons of free stuff including 30 day shred, Blogilates has free workouts as well as recipes, Skinnyms.com has recipes AND free workouts, and Skinnytaste.com has recipes.

There are a few high back boosters that convert to belt positioning boosters and have a harness weight limit of 65 pounds! My favorite (and most affordable) is the Graco Nautilus LX 65, which is a 3-in-1, it will forward face with a harness up to 65 pounds and then go to a belt positioning booster (up to 100 pounds) and a backless booster up to 120lbs. For the price ($150 at Walmart), it will take you all the way through him using a regular seat belt!

I would definitely keep him in a harness until a minimum of 5 years old OR 65 pounds if you're able to, and then switch him to the belt positioning option. It's a much safer option and I just want to thank you for doing your research and reaching out!

does he just need it to be "out of sight"? what about something like this mounted on the inside of a closet door? then it's not just a pile sitting out, it's already "organized" and relatively out of the way, and you can know that anything that came in the mail or is important to keep around is in there.

CLEANZOID Drill Brush Set... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G5C5R1K?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Doesn’t come with a drill. I had tried one of those battery operated scrubbers on a long pole but the battery never was powerful enough.

I'd move her up a size just at night. I also buy the Huggies Overnites from amazon on Subscribe and Save delivered every 2 months, and we haven't had a SINGLE leak with those ever. NOTHING. They are so awesome.

We never had good luck with Baby Dry even during the day, for whatever reason. Maybe just the shape of babies. IDK.

I won two pairs of LLR leggings and I can see the allure behind them, but I don't think I'd pay $25 per pair, nor the price their other stuff run, but I'm a bit of a cheapskate. I did find some similar stuff on amazon, though, for $10-15 each viv collection (Use this link because Viv collection has another off brand type they sell that sucks)

and apparently the All For You (or A.F.Y) tunic tops are $15 and similar to the carly shirt. I haven't tried a carly so I can say exactly how similar it is, but it's very cute and flatters my 3 month post partum body pretty well!

We don’t have a place to hang up a curtain so we got some black out sheet which was a big sheet that you cut to fit your window and attach Velcro so you can take it off to clean.

Blackout EZ Window Cover - Large... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006S69AH4?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

We aren’t allowed foil at our apartment because it’s “unsightly”.

Most android phones have a way to lock the phone to only the open app, and iPhones definitely have this feature built in as well.

I use it with my 3 year old and it’s wonderful.

Edit: For iphone users look up how to turn on "guided access", for android users look up your phone brand and "screen pinning". If your android doesn't have screen pinning then this Kids Place Parental Control app will let you set up a "kids mode" on your phone with only approved apps able to open.

1) you do need carseats to take them home, I would have a friend or relative drive you all home.

2) I understand the struggle!! We use a white noise machine on "rain" noise turned up pretty loud and these awesome paper stick on black out shades under our blinds: Original Blackout Pleated Paper Shade Black, 36” x 72”, 6-Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000SDROMG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_5HzFCb2W14AJW

3) Joovy ultra lite double stroller is great but they also have one for a cheap price that accommodates 2 bucket carseats on a metal frame that is foldable and amazingly easy to use and store. I would recommend the carseat one until they're about 6 months old, then the Joovy ultra lite caboose stroller until they're like 5.

Edit: had to reread your post.

I lived without a car until my youngest was a few months old, I just walked everywhere. I took my oldest ro the grocery and library almost daily in the moby wrap/carrier or stroller, and even now that I have a car I only drive somewhere when it's raining heavily or its longer than an hour walk. It fostered a love for the outdoors for my son, and it taught me to be more free about being ok with naps happening outside of the crib sometimes (like a carrier or stroller nap a few times a week wont kill your routine or make your child suddenly the worst sleeper). I was 19 with my first and 20 with my second, I had NO one around me married with kids. Now I have park friends who've I've met dozens of times outside of the park now that we have a friendship that grew from seeing each other a lot. You'll get through it!!

I’m so sorry, that sucks! If the smoke smell is bad enough and you have a spare $70, I highly, HIGHLY recommend a commercial ozone generator. It is literally cheaper to buy them then rent them and they work miracles. Set the timer for 2 hours, leave your apartment for four. I bought one and it has come in handy more than I would have expected.

So the WHO recommends breastmilk until at least 2 yrs until mom/baby are good. Most people barely make it to 1. But per all major organizations, 2 is like the goal goal.

I say all this bc should you choose to continue, you should know you'd actually be giving your kid more of the good stuff!

So what if it's bc you want morning and evenings with your baby? Who could blame you? I barely like being away for a couple of hours and so hell, if this is a way to get more kid time? Take it.

It's actually not selfish at all if you take into account the fact that breastfeeding beyond 1 is highly beneficial to our kids!

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/extended-breastfeeding/art-20046962

I see no issue in offering in the morning. Kids are fickle. One day they're for it, next day it's a full on nursing strike, then the next day, you're stuck in boob jail.

Nebraska!

I'm a SAHM so I don't really have to go anywhere. We were supposed to go to a funeral 35 minutes away but that's not going to happen. Pretty much everything is closed down in our city. Some smaller towns had lost power as of yesterday morning, I heard.

I read this yesterday. So scary!

Stay safe.

You could use Chore Wars a way to document etc things.. not sure if it would work in this situation but it might be good for later on too :)

this can be used for all in the family to document lol

When I first confronted my husband, he said "Well you never want to have sex, so what did you expect?"

I definitely texted some friends to give them a heads up that shit was going down.

Here's the book on Amazon! https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1440512213/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_i_ZB3W0CE1FA2EHD34W1SR

Is he still rear facing? I know that rear facing is the safer way to go, but my best friend ended up flipping her toddler front facing to prevent car sickness. Basically, she had to weigh the risks - a potential car accident vs the very real risk that her toddler would vomit, choke and aspirate while she was driving. However, she was a quiet vomiter who often would be sick 3-4 times in 15 minutes.

For a smock, I recommend getting a bib with sleeves and a "catch pocket" like this.

I have a Cuisinart Brew Central. I have had it for probably 6 years, it was given to me by my brother second hand and he had had it for a few years before that. It is the best coffee maker I have ever had. We love it so much that recently when my husband was cleaning the pot and it cracked we just got a new replacement pot, because there no way we are replacing this workhorse.

Edit to add: I have extremely hard water, I have never run anything through this thing to clean it, though I do change the filter in the water tank about once a month, they are like $10 for something like 36 of them on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Stay-Suction-Bowl-Count/dp/B000JOT2RO

newsletter has been delayed due to a tiny jerk stealing all my energy and free time but my gift to you is this amazon link. seriously tho my husband couldnt even figure out how to get this thing off the tray and he is fairly smart. the release tab is genius and they will never even realize it's there if you distract them while you pull it. ~mom magic~

Amazon 😊 they are super pricy but they have been worth every penny spent on them. If you search for “foamnasium” there are several sets.

https://www.amazon.com/Foamnasium-1503-Gymnasium-Playset/dp/B0069EG7RG?crid=MYWDKW1ICQWH&amp;keywords=foamnasium&amp;qid=1533241611&amp;sprefix=foamn&amp;sr=8-2&amp;ref=mp_s_a_1_2

Debt is a VERY serious thing, especially if your partner is hiding it from you. The good thing though is that you guys can work through it and pay it off - it won't be easy or immediate, but it will come to an end. He needs to start by letting you manage the finances, cutting up the cards, and getting on a strict budget.

I graduated college with $100k+ of student loan debt - $48k in my name and $68k in my parent's name. In August of last year, when I got my second "real" job in my field, I startled tackling the debt full force. I was making just $41k/yr, working three other jobs in addition to my full-time job. Since that August, I have successfully paid off $38,000 on mostly the $41k (4 months ago I got a new job making $78k/yr, so things are moving faster now). That's just over one year. $38,000. While living on my own/paying expenses/etc.

Is it all on one card, or multiple? The best method to paying off debt, in my opinion, is the snowball method. Check out Dave Ramsey's book "Total Money Makeover" - it changed my financial life and helped me achieve what I just stated above. The snowball method takes the debt (in your case credit card) with the lowest balance and had you pay that off first. Then you apply that minimum payment to the next smallest card and so on and so on until you're making a huge payment on your very last debt. The snowball is the best motivation wise because it give you small wins and you see your progress a lot faster than you would with the avalanche method (starting with highest interest rate card).

Tackle this with gazelle intensity and don't stop. You have to start now, otherwise it only gets worse with accumulating interest. Your husband may also need to talk someone if spending is a habitual thing for him, but hopefully he can get on board with your plan and see how much better his future will be without debt.

I've kind of fallen off track with anything I used to do before kids, but I have been considering buying some grownup coloring books and getting into that! I read about how it's very stress relieving to do a creative yet mundane task. Here is one i'm considering.

I'm going to shill for You Need a Budget for a moment. I know you don't have $60 for the software right now, but their method works and they have free online classes about how to budget effectively. It has been really useful for my husband and I since he only works 9 months of the year and we have to save up for summer and annual bills, etc. It takes the guess work out of saving and spending by giving "every dollar a job" and putting your current spending and budget info right at your fingertips wherever you are. I highly recommend it.

Appeal. There are a few different levels of appeal. If you exhaust them all and they decide you still owe them money, contact the hospital billing department and see if you can negotiate a lower payment and/or payment plan. Good luck! :)

I got these shower curtain hooks and they work great. No more stalling or sticking. If the wax paper doesn't work, maybe try these?

I'm not the person you're replying to, but my Dad is a locksmith and has been for like 30+ years so our family has lots of experience in keys.

When I was in middle school I would forget my keys ALL the time. I walked to school on my own and walked home, and when I would get home I'd be the first person there so if I had forgotten my key I'd have to wait over an hour for someone else to get home and let me in.

My Dad always had one of these in an inconspicuous place so that if I did forget my key, this one was always there in the event of an emergency. I would just put in the code, it would pop open and I could open the door and then I just had to make sure and put the key back.

About 15 years ago he also replaced all the outer doors with keypad locks. This way, you can't really get locked out unless you forget the code which is pretty unlikely. It's also nice if you're carrying lots of stuff since you just need one finger to type in the code. AND if you ever need to let someone in temporarily (like if you're out of town and have a friend coming over to check on your cat, have a worker coming over to look at your HVAC system, that kind of thing) you can give someone a temporary code that will expire. I can't recommend these things enough.

But of course, your significant other still needs to be careful - I hope it doesn't sound like I'm shifting the blame from him to you or anything like that.

Except when the object they shoved up there has a hole in the middle.

This piece sent us to the ER:

LEGO Technic NEW 100 pcs RED BUSH Bushing Cross Axle Connector Lot Mindstorms NXT EV3 car robot robotics building small Part Piece 3713 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MZEBUB4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_PSJBBMK4ZDSX5AN64YPE

I'm sorry you're having to deal with an inconsiderate mother inlaw.... but the amazon reviews for this giraffe are hilarious... https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Giant-Giraffe-Lifelike/dp/B00009YEGL

You are doing the right thing.

"You cannot set yourself on fire to keep another person warm."

...and...

"Put on your own oxygen mask first before helping those next to you."

The hardest fucking thing in the world is letting other people experience their own choices when we've been in a position of protection, guidance, responsibility, or love for them.

It's hard even when the choices they're making are mostly good ones. It's fucking brutal when they're by all appearances trying to destroy themselves. It's maddening. It's crazy making. There is no more helpless and rage-inducing and depressive feeling.

I'm so sorry. I understand analagously by similar relationships in my life, although not exactly of course. Only you know exactly what you're going through.

For what it's worth, something that helped me was studying and learning about codependence. The codependence of watching a person who was addicted to abusive relationships, and my codependent traits in feeling the pain, guilt, and anger of wanting to help them and being unable to.

Melody Beattie wrote the classic book on it, but there are a lot of others.

Head down to the library or get happy on Amazon and start doing some reading. Therapy also helps. Disentangling ourselves from family of origin issues with love, responsibility, and grace is a lifelong process. I wish you all the best. You're already part way there by doing the right thing with your sister, even though it feels so bad.

This was about half my yard and evergreens full of plastic eggs with these (Amazon link) lights in them. The listing says 50, but I only got 48 lights. Kids were at a friend's and drove down the street to this waititng for them. Friend's mom said they freaked right out.

Last year we sent them to bed, talked about what a nice Easter it was, all normal-like. Then I yelled that they must have missed eggs in my angry mom voice and they ran out the front door to this. Both ways are very satisfying.

The 11 year old calls it the easter rave.

Well, if you have the cash to throw down on it, Amazon has one. Kinda.

Oh man do I ever understand what you are going through. I have been dealing with this in my now 4¾yo for nearly 2 years. It is beyond frustrating and it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that getting worked up doesn't help I am still infuriated by it all. And my kid is neurotypical, can't imagine how much processing disorders make it worse. We are past the point of daily medication but not quite at the daily poops. I tried all the reward tactics, none of them worked. In the end, it's been time that has yielded the biggest results, she's gotten older and understands a bit more.

This book helped tremendously. It's not very long, took about an hour to read.

https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00PY3U0IA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_9YQoFb7T905HH

What it comes down to is the hard poop over stretches the bowel and fucks with their urge to push, they actually stop getting that sensation and it switches to holding the poop instead. That's what the medication is for, it makes them poop, then over time the bowel shrinks back and the sensation to push returns. Then at the same time you've got to deal with whatever caused the problem in the first place. With my 4yo, it's was a bout of constipation that happened around the time she potty trained. Also dealt with this with the oldest, he was withholding because he was too scared to ask his new teacher to use the toilet.

My little one starts school in 4 weeks and I'm dreading it causing a regression. I might start dosing her now.

You will get through this, one poop at a time.

Yeah, we got some crayola washable kids paint for christmas, again from grandma, and I was actually surprised at how easily it washes off, just a wipe with a wet wash cloth and its gone, no scrubbing or anything. I also suggest buying regular playdoh over home made. Its lasts longer and is less messy. You can usually get some at the dollar store in little containers, or they have a 4 pack at walmart for about $2, and with a 2 year old you dont really need anymore that that.

Ive been on the MFP/ calorie counting wagon since October. Falling off around Christmas, and now slowly getting back into it.

5'7" 25 - HW: 287 (last April before giving birth to my LO) CW: 210.8 GW: 150. Thats my ideal, but if I could drop 3 more dress sizes, I really dont care what the scale says as long as I am happy and healthy.

I started at 252 in October, so I am pretty excited about my 40 pound loss so far. I am currently a SAHM and do hair for friends & family on the side. So I dont get out much. I joined a new gym last month, so I can have child free time, and it has helped physically and emotionally. I am still breastfeeding, so my calorie intake is all over the place. I love carbs.

I sent a request to the FB group and my MFP username is nancyraygunn

Y'all are awesome.

Below is the closest I could find. Since you have a picture though maybe you could have a new one made? Or contact the manufacturer? I also learned this the hard way, but I bought multiples of her security blanket when I had to replace the original. Good luck though, sorry I couldn't help more.

Blankets & Beyond White and Pink Bunny Security Blanket with Pacifier Holder and Stroller Ties https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NLSILUY/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_ci1Kub1TY1GDT

Um...you say her SO got a job. Are they married? Because, if they aren't, I suggest that she "breaks up" with her SO and gets back on medicaid. Obviously, I am not suggesting she actually ends the relationship. I am suggesting that, if they are not married, she should feint a breakup long enough to have her medical care taken care of.

If they are married? Well, I'd one option is to use the ER services for her birth, rack up the medical bills, and then file for bankruptcy. They can't kick her out while she's in labor.

She's probably qualified for special enrollment so if the boost in income allows for them to pay for healthcare, that's also an option. That would be the least disastrous option if they can a) afford it and b) get it taken care of very quickly.

I've got a baby pen I used to put the toddler in it with a bunch of toys when the baby was cluster feeding. Yeah he would look over occasionally and yell but oh well, he had toys, he had sippy cup and a snack trap, he was fine just inconvenienced. Now that the baby is a bit older it's easier. Honestly it sucks some days, like when they are both teething at the same fucking time, or when naps don't line up so I don't get to shower that day. But I think I started adjusting at around the two month mark. You will get into a groove and it will get better.

I hope I'm not breaking any linking rules:

https://meet.libbyapp.com

Basically, add your library card bar code. You can rent unlimited free ebooks and audiobooks, and they are auto-returned for you. You can reup anything you're reading provided there's not a wait list. You may have to be Johnny-on-the-spot for the most popular new titles, but you can basically have anything six or nine months out of date as long as you please.

They're very similar, but there's a subtle difference. When Daniel is upset that his grandpere is spending time with Katarina, he is jealous because he is feeling protective of something that is his. When Daniel is upset because he wants a toy that O the Owl has, he is feeling envy because he is wanting something that belongs to someone else. We are jealous of that which is ours; we are envious of that which belongs to another.

This explains it more clearly than I can.

There was a post a few days ago on another page about this and one of the comments mentioned a search engine called Ecoasia that uses funds generated by searches to help plant trees. Their website has links to information about how it works, what projects they support, etc. The catch is you need to click on the ads for the sites you are looking for, not the direct link, for them to earn the funding. For those who are unable to physically plant trees themselves, this maybe an option for you to help.

https://www.ecosia.org

I've tried FlyLady, she has good ideas. To keep me implementing though, I like habitica.com. You put in your tasks, your priorities, and your frequency, and then you can check them off as your day goes on.

It's all wrapped up in an RPG style reward system, which I like, but I often pause that aspect and just use it as a daily checklist.

This is what we do/ are doing. razbuddy has a bunch of animals and they are attached with a Velcro strap

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog. Losing a pet is so difficult. Having it happen in such a traumatic manner, I cant fathom. Here is a book by Mr. Roger's that is supposed to help. maybe this can help explain to her that the dog isn't coming back in a gentle way.

Amazon has everything.

No..really.

These are my kid's favorites: https://www.amazon.com/Plum-Organics-Second-Spinach-Pouches/dp/B005MHRB7G/

He started on them as a baby and is now two, but they're still his favorite way to eat vegetables because they're combined with fruit, so they're sweet. I have Amazon Prime and I also use the Subscribe & Save option.

I'm currently reading a beautiful book by Anthony Doerr called All the Light We Cannot See. I do have a thing for WWII/Holocaust literature, so this is probably not up the alley of most people.

I just bought the Midwife Trilogy (which is the set the BBC series Call the Midwife is based on). The show is great, and I've heard the books are even better so I'm super excited about this one.

So we don't have an upstairs but I didn't want to have to take the baby all the way to her room for a wardrobe change 80 times a day when she was a newborn. My husband bought us this. We still have it in our living room. The top drawer is diaper stuff, the second is bibs and the third is sleep clothes. Ours is a little smaller. Anyway, what you could do is do like a weeks worth of clothes - top is shirts, middle pants, bottom is socks/shoes/whatever and then refill once a week.

Edit: I should mention I don't fold any baby stuff either. I literally all gets shoved in the drawers :)

I've written and erased 3 versions of this post because I don't know how to relate to you what I felt when I read your line about your husband's ex being prettier than you. What I really want to say was said best by a television character, so I'll just leave this here, and remind you that he married you for a reason.

Agree, put a hasp and lock on the door so you can be sure it’s good, since it’s a craft cabinate you probably won’t mind the look like you would on a kitchen cabinet

https://www.amazon.com/Stainless-Padlock-Tiberham-Cabinet-Accessories/dp/B07PZKZJ4R

I had one of these toddlers!! He was too smart for his own good! For some things we actually went to using locks to keep him out. We would then just put the key nearby but out of his reach or climbing range. It was a pain but it kept him safe from himself without me getting too many more gray hairs!

I live in the rural midwest and the only grocery store within 30 miles of my house is a walmart. it sucks. I buy Mae Ploy paste on Amazon https://smile.amazon.com/Mae-Ploy-Yellow-Curry-Paste/dp/B000EICISA/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia-wc-rsf-lq2a1_0?cv_ct_cx=yellow+curry+paste&amp;dchild=1&amp;keywords=yellow+curry+paste&amp;pd_rd_i=B000EICISA&amp;pd_rd_r=301504a1-b995-4ab2-ad50-ed2c5ec99555&a.... It's cheaper than driving 45 miles to the nearest city with an Asian grocery store

I, like you, weaned before 12 months. I tried the formulas as I was giving them to baby girl. I think the one I like best, which you can get on Amazon was baby's only. Baby's Only Organic Dairy with DHA & ARA Formula, 12.7 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007GH8R4Q/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_wgScwbWTJRDCQ

I found it also locally at a health food/natural foods store.

What a rabbit hole. Your post reminded me that I wanted to get Kid Bacon some non-candy stuff for his basket, which in turn sent me on a 30 minute hunt for a book series. Kid Bacon devoured the first in the series, and I want to encourage him so now I'm getting him the first three of the series. Thanks!!!

If anyone is interested, here's an amazon link to the first in the series. Geronimo Stilton: The Kingdom of Fantasy. They're illustrated, but very thick books.

Amazon has cheaper options which we used, though they didn't offer the "pinch guard" that the door monkey does, but I figured I could shove a towel/some socks up on top of the door near the hinges to achieve that. Plus, the kid managed to pinch his fingers in the hinges of his own bedroom door because he was fucking around with it, and he pretty quickly learned to not stick his fingers in there after that.

Amazon. You pay for 5 pairs, you get 6. Less than $10. Comfy, good quality, no panty lines under active wear and such. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00M3ZJVL4/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&amp;psc=1

I'm only going to throw this out there because I haven't seen it in stores and I have to order it from Amazon. Have you seen Triple Cream? I use it on my kids and I like it better than the steroid that they have, though they have very mild eczema. I also use it on myself when my hands are cracked and bleeding, and I only need it every couple of days.

Aside from that, can you just send in an unmedicated cream to the daycare so that they can feel like they're doing something and stop calling you to pick him up? The creams can get expensive, but might be cheaper than having to take off work to pick up a child who isn't even sick.

I have a book I'd like you to read. It's called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was suggested to me by my ex's therapist, when I joined him in a therapy session and ended up sobbing. It helped me see things from a different perspective and gave me strength I didn't know I had. The book drastically improved my life and it only took a few days to read. Here it is on Amazon. I was skeptical at first because:

1) I had never read a self-help book before and had honestly zero faith that it would help anything.

and,

2) The cover of the book made me defensive because it says something about controlling others.

But, read it. It all makes sense once you get into it, and I really think your situation will hugely improve if you do.

Here it is on Overdrive, you can see if it is available at your local library or even in e-book form.