What are /r/fatpeoplestories' favorite Products & Services?

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

The kickstarter with trailer for the curious.

What I want to know is what is the difference between this, and making a Smokitude documentary about smoking? Both are unhealthy, could kill you, and are personal choices.

That's considered intentional poisoning. It's a bad idea.

Get a big bag of sugar free gummy bears instead. Fail to hide them. It's common knowledge they act as a super laxative, but I doubt he'd be able to resist them.

This bag, for instance, has these gems under it:

> Question: Should i try them?
Answer: It depends. Do you like painful and explosive diarrhea? If yes then this is the snack for you.
By William Scott on January 26, 2015

> Question: What exactly is a serving size?
Answer: Serving Size is 17 pieces (40g) However, I recommend you first sniff the open bag at a 100 yards safe distance. If your gut doesn't start gurgling and flip flopping you might be safe enough to actually get close enough to remove a gummy bear from the bag making sure to use a face mask, tongs and rubber gloves. If the removal of said bear is successful without any fluid drainage from your lower orifice you might possibly consider licking an ear but please make sure all your final business is in order ie... last will and testament, DNR instructions, burial wishes etc... Seriously Andrew, why test fate?
By Kindle Customer on January 31, 2014

And for more comedy gold, read the reviews.

Maybe try a diff toilet seat like this:

Big John 3-W Oversized Open Front Toilet Seat with Cover and Stainless Steel Hinges - For Round Or Elongated Toilet Bowls - Weight Capacity 1,200 Pounds - White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000QSHUHM/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_bvCLDb88RKH2Z

A cunt cap is the infamous "I want to speak to a manager" haircut.

I understand the risk involved with "rescuing" anyone's kid these days, but to let a 7 year old kid to wander lost on an airstrip was too much for us. The way she acted, as though he was a rock in her shoe she had to get rid of, really made me angry. I'm not a mother but I felt for the little guy. :(

Did you mean cavalry or calvary? Though I admit both are apt here.

Nitpicking aside, post faster!

I've posted this before, in another story, but it was a bit late and didn't get much attention, so I figured I'd put it up again. It is an IFTTT recipe that will send you an SMS whenever /u/Alistair9000 posts to FPS. The mighty Beetusbot and his orangereds are all well and good, but sometimes I have the audacity to attempt to do more then sit on reddit all day, and am late to a story. This helps fix that.

100% correct.

Some tips I found worked for me:

1. Cut out or down on alcohol, particularly IPAs that are hundreds of calories each.
2. Chew sugarfree gum or drink some tea if hungry.
3. Don't buy bad food at all or keep it in your house. Half the battle I've found is access to crap food. If it's not easily accessible, my desire goes down.
4. Substitute low or no calorie condiments when you can. Examples include using mustard instead of mayo on a sandwich or getting Heinz new reduced sugar ketchup (I love ketchup and this actually tastes damn good). Hot sauce also helps a lot here if you like that, as it doesn't have any calories.
5. To add onto the above, substitute low calorie versions of the other foods you'd typically use and see what you can make stick. Examples that worked for me include using ultra thin cheese slices instead of regular thickness (half the calories), unsweetened almond milk (30 calories per cup), artificial sweetener in my tea/coffee, and lower calorie meats (e.g. lower fat ground beef).
6. Get a cheap food scale on Amazon like this one and measure everything you eat at home.

We're still working on whether artificial sweeteners cause a spike in insulin in humans. At the moment, there isn't solid science to back it up and a lot of it is speculation and anecdotal stories. We've only got tests on flies and mice. Along with that, very little of the sweeteners reach the pancreas and there is no glucose involved with this situation at all.

They do make you poop though. Enjoy if you have yet to partake!

Ever seen a camp chair, the ones that unfold and are basically canvas strung between metal bits?

A sky chair is like that, but with wood, and suspended off the ground.

Rather than hang it from the new roof, I bought a stand for it - and here's the chair itself - not the exact one I bought, looks identical.

The chair is a BITCH to put together. The stand, not so much.

optimized gfy(html5 video) version of the gif

• Original Gif Size 1021K
• Compressed Gfy Size 178K
• Find out more about gfycat/about

I can understand some people want to assign some new name to themselves, but changing definition of a word 'woman' to suit someone's identity views is fucked up. Words have definitions for a reason, you can't just change it. Make up new words if you must, but don't go around hijacking words with already assigned meanings.

Basically, if someone says they're a woman, then it's only valid if they actually are a female human. Because word woman is used to describe female of homo sapiens, sexually, genetically.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/woman

If people want to make up new genders go ahead but don't twist meanings of existing ones cause nobody does it to any other words. Doing things like that ruins language - Or is simply part of some slang, so not recognized academically or world wide.

And that someone who says they are a woman, would he/she/it be allowed to join women team for Olympics? You say gender is fluid, but you also use words related to describe sex. Which is not 'fluid' by any means. Hence the confusion, not only on my part i believe.

I'd make two suggestions.

First, you mentioned he treats food like it's a competition. Maybe losing weight should be a competition? Within reason of course.
One thing that has helped a lot of people is smartphone apps like Calorie Counter - My Fitness pal. The nice thing about this one is you can manually enter items, or you can scan a bar code of what you're eating and put in the amount. The hardest part about the Calories In is you have no idea how dense moderns foods are until you carefully measure them. Which is a PITA, this makes it a lot easier.

Second, there's a really great documentry that HBO put out on Youtube called The Weight of the Nation. It helps to understand why it's so easy in this day and age to pile on the pounds and basically amounts to food pollution.

/r/loseit

/r/fitness

/r/LoseitTeen

Then, buy a food scale and get thee to:

http://iifym.com/

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

Good luck. You're taking a big first step. And if you ever feel like giving up, remember: You're almost Class II obese. Don't give up on life before you've lived it.

I'd stash wrapped stuff in my room. I remember my communal living days -- anything that was too expensive to replace lived in a container under my bed. It's weird, but you'll get used to it. And if you want a snack or breakfast, you don't have to get out of bed! I'm such a lazy fucker :')

Also: here are some coupon codes for Quest products: http://www.retailmenot.com/view/questproteinbar.com Most of them are shipping stuff, but every little bit helps.

That was an awesome story, it was so well written that I felt the need to voice it, here (mixcloud) or here (zippyshare) you can find the product.

If you have praise or critic for me, please let me hear it!

Have you never heard of the huge bag of sugar-free gummy bears? I guess amazon doesn't sell Haribo brand in 5-pound bags anymore, but some of the reviews on the Albanese brand are funny. https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Sugar-Free-Flavor/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1535324360&sr=8-3&keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears+haribo+5+pound+bag

And probably just as psychotically adorable.

Although... This fucker weirdly reminds me of Graham McTavish.

I have to say that the MyFitnessPal website and mobile app are incredibly useful. They make calorie counting so easy!

Once you turn weight loss into a numbers game, it becomes a game you want to win. Having a scoreboard present with you wherever you go keeps you disciplined.

Congrats on your tremendous progress so far.

Both our word derivations are correct. In Greek Homo also means same, which is where homosexuality as a word is derived from. I am not denying what discrimination means, I think you just don't understand that the definition of the word discrimination is unjust or prejudicial behaviour towards someone on the basis of race, colour, etc, blah blah. You can pull apart each letter of the word but by definition it's still the same.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/discrimination "The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex"

You are really not helping the trans community by screaming discrimination at someone for not wanting to engage in a homosexual relationship when straight.

Just recently built a Retropie, been hitting up Emerald hard. Now I'm just a mad grind away from the battle against Elite Four, my comp sucked(Swampert, Kirlia and Crobat, with Crobat leading the charge so far ahead that others get oneshotted by things they're resistive against) so I need to level up some others for the fight.

Amazon actually sells something like this... https://www.amazon.com/CREATE-A-SPACE-Portable-Airplane-Seat-Divider/dp/B00OZ8RX9O

But in a pinch, score and fold a piece of sturdy cardboard so it slides into your cabin luggage flat. Then unfold it and stick it vertically, like if you imagine you're a magician sticking one of those wood sheets into the box that's chopping women into pieces, stick it between your seat and your armrest. Should be long enough to at least project a few inches above the armrest.

Coach has me in a small deficit right now. He said it was maintenance but I figure, oh well, I could lose some fat. Down a couple lbs in a couple weeks and don't feel any weaker, and not hungry any more. 455 still moving pretty smooth and easy: https://www.instagram.com/p/-2xrIcKaSa/

Ah, but in terms of calories burnt, it's not very far off from normal yoga. An hour of hot yoga for women burns 220 kcals, and about 170 kcals for general other yoga.

1. My fitness pal
2. Count every fucking thing! There is only one thing that doesn't count, and that is plain still water. Everything else has calories and counts.
3. When you fall, get back up. There are going to be bad days when you eat too much. You will log those bad days in my fitness pal too. You will just carry on the next day logging everything, as if nothing happened yesterday. Whatever you do, DON'T STOP.
4. This is boring. It is annoying to log all the things you eat. You will be boring. Sorry, but that is part of it. You can cook all day long and make fancy low calorie meals that leave you complete satisfied, or you can accept that eating food that isn't what you are 100% in to is part of the deal.
5. You will get used to 4. When you get used you will not be as hungry and not crave fat food as much. It will be subtle, but eventually you will discover that your appetite has changed.
6. You can be fit. It is hard, but it is not impossible. It is possible if you persevere.
7. Diet and exercise are both important, but diet is just so much more important. Exercise helps, but is optional. If you don't change your diet you will not lose weight. You can't realistically burn off 1000 extra calories each day. It is much easier to just not eat them.

Good luck.
^(and don't be a stranger)

https://www.fatsecret.com/recipes/traditional-egg-drop-soup/Default.aspx

this is a recipe I tried and loved. I made a huge vat of it and it was only ~320 calories (80 calories a serving) and it filled me up like crazy!

cptstupendous makes a very good point. I've been slowly training myself to eyeball cup measurements of basic foods (yogurt, cooked rice and such) by taking a measuring cup-- usually 1/2-- and filling it with the food. I learned that I easily overestimate by 1/4 c. at least, if not another 1/2. Same with liquid measurements. It helps to know which cup can contain 2 cups and another less than one, yet both have the same diameters.

I've been using Cron-O-Meter for its simplicity and that it doesn't assume that I want to compare myself with ~~shitlordies~~ people. The exercise information is... merely guidelines I assume, and if you try it out know that micronutrients are only recorded in the foods stored in their database, not user-created (marked by greentext). And that any liquid that is not water is not counted towards daily water intake.

Cron-O-Meter is very simple compared to MyFitnessPal, and on that note I'ma shutting up my ~~shilling mouth~~ finging fingers.

I can't really add anything to what the other guy said, other than attitude plays a huge role. If you get a chance I really recommend the book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, even though it's about accumulating wealth a lot of the themes translate easily into any long-term undertaking you're doing. If you focus on what you don't want, you'll still subconsciously steer into it, so keep your attitude and mindset about the positive things you want, and make sure those are why you want to lose weight, and not make it all about "I don't want to be fat anymore". I hope that makes sense, I tend to ramble.

Outside of that as someone who works with a lot of municipal governments I can tell you in most places there are hundreds of different events, volunteer opportunities, and programs being offered all the time. Browse around on your city/town's website and see if something interests you. Going to the gym is great, but being consistently active as much as possible is probably the best way to go.

Some good weight-loss subs you should look at are /r/GetMotivated, /r/loseit, and /r/VegRecipes. If you like the last one let me know, I've got all kinds of low-calorie recipes that are quick and easy!

Good luck!

...Paprika!

I just...sometimes with you I can't even...omg, and Chibiham...and Juicy! omg...feels got too reals.

Jesus 4-5 servings? That's like 700 calories.....

And don't try to get the nutrition info from Dannon's website..... http://www.oikosyogurt.com/greek-yogurt/greek-nonfat-yogurt/plain. You'll just get a coupon.

Edit: You'll get nutrition info if you click the small link on the right that says nutrition info. If you click on the link at the bottom that says "Facts" you get a coupon...

A diet with unbalanced macros will leave you feeling like shit, no matter the type really.

I personally have never heard a Vegan describe their food as unsatisfying and or heard a Vegan describe their relationship with their food choices as "hating the taste of the food they I ate" I notice you say ate and not "prepared for yourself".

However, you do exist, so for me you are an anomaly. My first question of course would be why would you continue to prepare you own food in a way that you disliked?

Exactly why did you feel unsatisfied? Specifically what do you mean? The tastes, textures, quality or quantity, range of flavors? Specifically what?

You also say you kept losing weight, you do not mention whether it was intentional or not. Lets, for fun, assume that it was unintentional. You also don't define in any way what your version of an "unhealthy rate too" is either. However lets us again, for arguments sake, assume that this unhealthy rate is actually a "fact" then the ONLY conclusion is that you were maintaining too large a caloric deficit to maintain your weight.

This means you were not eating enough of a caloric load for the amount of caloric expenditure (work) your body was doing. Sounds like you needed to eat more.

It is a hallmark of the vegan diet that you must eat a frequently and in a balanced manner (macros) especially if you have hit an optimal weight and wish to maintain that equilibrium.

Perhaps you were not in charge of making your own food? I took personal responsibility for my own holistic health, including my own nutrition when I began eating clean. Believing I am responsible for my nutritional health means that I follow a cook what I eat and eat what I cook vegan culinary philosophy. No matter who cooks it, I am responsible for everything that enters my body. Each mouthful is a choice.

But Even on the See Food diet. Does not matter. Caloric deficit = lose weight.

If you search on Google Flights or any other similar website you can find plenty of more than six hour flights. Try it with any two cities that are really far apart, like Miami to Seattle. If there is a non-stop flight available (as it is between those two cities) it is greater than six hours. Same for Boston to San Diego. It does depend on which direction you're flying, though. You're right that most flights within the continental US aren't more than six hours, but they can be found.

I learned German when I lived there. The grammar is a huge pain, it's all backwards to someone who grew up speaking English, verbs at the end of sentences.

But it's not impossible. Try checking out Duolingo if you want to get started. There's even an app.

Oh boy, I want this letsnotmeet story. Write it!

I'm hitching a ride on our Rotund Overlord's comment to share this with y'all. It is an IFTTT recipe that will send you an SMS whenever /u/Alistair9000 posts to FPS. The mighty Beetusbot and his orangereds are all well and good, but sometimes I have the audacity to attempt to do more then sit on reddit all day, and am late to a story. This helps fix that.

Palmers coconut lotion is great for stretch marks. Can get it at most pharmacies or online. I know it says pregnancy but it works for all bodies :

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Massage Lotion For Stretch Marks, Pregnancy Skin Care, 8.5 Ounces https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0010ED5FC/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_0Y0B077F4ME2VR05XV8T

> Can't get motivation to go for a walk?

This is the kind of thing I tout gamification for; think of the "Zombies, Run!" app. Hell, if my phone could run the thing I'd have had it installed quite some time ago (I'm a sucker for zombie survivor games).

"meal sized salads" are very filling -- find something other than sugar/fat heavy dressing (I favor salsa since salt isn't a concern for me).

On the protein issue: where do you think cows get protein?

Protein is built off of 20 amino acids. If you are eating a salad rich in colors, which ones are you getting? ALL of them. If you are eating carrots, carrots, and nothing but carrots for a month, then, yeah, you're likely getting some subset of of the 20.

But if you are in any way concerned, feel free to add beans, nuts, and seeds to your salad. If you're wanting to lose weight, check the web so you keep that down to a couple 100 cal from all the fat they have.

Of course, all that is a lot of chewing. I'm often lazy and just throw a pile of veggies and an orange into a juicer and drink it with a side of carrots and hummus.

For two hundy you could get one of these https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016A6Z3Z4/ref=cm_sw_r_fm_apa_i_77MGSV847A3JXBWF00RC?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 and it lets you move the arms I think. I was looking at them for myself. Really hoping the rotating fan blows air lol

It's been a while but do dorm rooms still have that cheap carpet that's basically hardwood, if so I recommend this if you're in the US, it's what my friend used. Edit: she had a lot of high end make up she worked her butt off for and a roommate in the adjoining room who thought sharing was caring without asking.

I've gotten several from Lady V London (they have a sale going on right now!). Their website is http://ladyvlondon.com. Vivien of Holloway also has nice 50s style clothes, but I find the prices to be a little high. I've also gotten a ton of dresses (not just 50s style) on Amazon, actually. This (https://smile.amazon.com/Rekucci-Slimming-Sleeveless-Control-Dresses/dp/B00ZGGYI4C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470441150&sr=8-1&keywords=rekucci+slimming+dress) is actually one of my favorite dresses of any style. It's super comfy and stretchy, and incredibly flattering (especially if you have a tummy like I do).

Edit: links

here are the Pachelbel's wind chimes, and yes, they really do sound like that

They come with a guarantee of being retuned. Not returned; re*tuned*.

Showed up seriously tangled. I mess with yarn, so I sat there for a couple hours, untangling. Never pull, ever, on a knot; just makes it worse. You have to kind of shake it up a bit, loosen it, see where the problem is. Don't ever cut anything. Keep teasing. It will, eventually, untuck itself enough so that you can see it. Never pull hard on anything, okay?

Dude, she has a Binge Eating Disorder and she needs to go to the doctor!

This book could really help her through it. Would she read it if you bought it for her?

Fat and protein.

Go to the store and buy this book: http://www.amazon.com/Good-Calories-Bad-Gary-Taubes-ebook/dp/B000UZNSC2

There may be a different one for the UK market.

I'm currently reading this: http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Science-Carbohydrate-Living-ebook/dp/B005CVV2AE/ref=pd_sim_351_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=1364FCDWECVMM01T7KF3

My girlfriend just lost 35 pounds on the diet, and I have a six pack too. It works, and all you do is watch the types of energy you eat. Once you understand the science and why we get fat, you will change everything.

Good luck.

Oh yes, link an antiquated article by the American Heart Association, the institution that recommends low-fat diets without evidence. Oooh cholesterol! So scary!

http://www.amazon.com/Good-Calories-Bad-Controversial-Science/dp/1400033462

I love my Oster! It crushes ice and frozen fruit beautifully!

I assume you're not in America, or I'd tell you to try to get one at Target, because I bought mine there for fifteen dollars. I've had it six months and it's still blending strong! I've saved so much blending my own smoothies and coffee that it sort of paid for itself!

I was getting coffee drinks laden with unnecessary calories at 22.50 a week, and now I pay around ten bucks for two weeks of soy milk and chocolate protein powder (and instant coffee, because I cannot live without it some days). I have saved over four hundred dollars in six months by making my own drinks, not to mention all of the calories I've not been eating in that time.

Jesus Christ I sound like a commercial, but I really do love my Oster this much. I'm drinking a breakfast smoothie right now. It took two minutes to blend, including taking it off and shaking it to make sure my berries and ice were getting mixed up properly.

Lots of mayo hate here, but you guys just need better mayo. Japanese mayo is the bomb.

There's some good self help books out there, which are a fantastic place to start if you can't afford, or don't have access to, therapy.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Better-Bit-Sufferers-Disorders/dp/0863773222 And
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Bulimia-Nervosa-Binge-Eating-Prescription/dp/1854871714/ref=pd_sim_b_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YJS529QA3W587PQ8FFB
And feel free to PM me - I'm fully recovered from restrictive eating and bulimia, so I know how it feels, and that there are ways to get better :)

Fortunately for hams, many of these sorts of products already exist.

For eight bucks, you can get "Long Reach Comfort Wiper" from Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/Long-Reach-Comfort-Wipe-1/dp/B001G70QW8/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t/188-9904164-4765602

Positive reviews for the most part, several satisfied hams:

> This has worked for me without fail. Sometimes depending on the need it may require repeating until cloth comes back clean. There are several wipes in the pack, smells clean and is less than 3.00 a pack.

The more up-market version, the "Bottom Buddy Toilet Tissue Aid" (http://www.amazon.com/Bottom-Buddy-Toilet-Tissue-Aid/dp/B00024E2FS/ref=pd_sim_hpc_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=0744PTECB4FCT1Q70WV7) is $36, though for some hams has necessitated field repair like the OP's home-made version:

> It will do the job admirably for approximately two to four months. Eventually though, the stress on the plastic develops a small crack at first that grows to a point where the product is rendered useless. I have been able to prolong the use of the item by wrapping the top 1/2 of the product tightly with masking and electrical tape which lengthened the life of the product to 6-8 months.