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Highly recommended reading cause your mom sound very much like this type of mother and dubbed you the scapegoat.

Also recommend reading Sun Tzu - The Art of War. You don't realize it, but the situation is basically psychological warfare, so better arm yourself well.

Say that you don't have a password on your wifi.

In nearly every developed nation it has been ruled that IP address =/= a natural person.

Also, get a VPN. I have one for AU$100 / yr and they also don't take any shtick from Hollywood or DCMA. Some, like StrongVPN, will give up your details if asked.

If you're afraid of going to college and you're online all the time, start taking courses on Coursera.

Also, if you're having trouble staying off of certain cites, I'd recommend going Cold Turkey for a couple of weeks to do yourself a favor and not be tempted with constantly checking reddit.

You can do this, man! Start with one class at a time. And go for walks. Walks are SO good for you. Even if it's just once around the block. Track how often you walk. Make a chart. See your progress.

And this might be offbeat advice, but don't masturbate so much, man, the endorphin drain is not good if you're struggling with lack of motivation.

hows your exercise habits and diet? they have a large part to do with your moods.

you should focus on these two things immediately. of course they are the hardest as they require will power and your bad habits/thoughts are holding you down.

once you start breaking a sweat everyday and your body starts cleansing itself you will notice more energy and positivity. after a workout you will have more clarity of mind to look at your life more clearly.

basically self love is your problem right now. take care of yourself and youll learn to love yourself better. after that things will fall into place.

check out this movie on hulu http://www.hulu.com/watch/289122/fat-sick-and-nearly-dead

life is hard buddy. just the way it is. im in a huge hole myself but you got to make small steps to get out of the hole. then one day youll feel stronger and you can look at others below you and help them. thats what im doing for you right now..exercise and juicing/better diet have helped me a lot. if anything give me a daily goal for improvement

msg me anytime you need to clear your head . good luck!

It's never, ever too late to learn. You're still very young, and you have a lot of future ahead of you. It may sound like a cliché line, but it's true.

Khan Academy is a WONDERFUL website, it got me through all my math courses in university. It's free, and it has tons of lessons and exercises on a number of subjects. You can start at whatever level you need to and work your way up. If you have the time and the motivation, I think it would definitely be a helpful tool to build your math skills, hopefully in time for your exams. If not, it's still not too late! There are always options, and as long as you have the drive to be successful, you will be.

I've been looking up "restore my faith in humanity" type articles to make myself feel better. These two are pretty good.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-true-stories-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/pictures-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity

im going to give you some advice i give myself everyday, i didn't come up with them, i probably read them on r/getmovivated (recommended)

'if you want what you never have, youve got to do what you've never done"

"courage is the virtue that makes all the other cool stuff possible"

So you're a cashier, that's fine. Get some roommates, nothing wrong with that. Learn how to be a good roommate. Write a book on being a good roommate. Make a website about being a good roommate. Or a cashier.

The idea is, find that thread, that point of curiosity which is interesting to you, and follow it.

If you just keep eating, drinking and breathing(and don't get addicted to street drugs) eventually you'll get somewhere cool.

"don't try to succeed, try to be a person of value"

what , do you think I am some guy in a mansion reading r/mmfb? lol i've been where you're at more than three times, depending on how you count.

YET HERE I STAND

follow your curiosity, read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, listen to the Alan Watts lectures, when you're stuck, you've got to wiggle in every direction and feel out the best way to proceed.

I've saved a thousand dollars and moved to a new city 3 times now, ive gotten a job and camped or slept in a garage for the first few weeks. Maybe watch the movie "Pursuit of Happiness."

Find other people you think are cool, live to be good friends to them if nothing else. Help other people who are stuck if that's what you think is missing the most, you'd be right.

Maybe watch another movie, Pay it Forward. Or another, I Heart Huckabees.

If you're still stuck, there may be a medical issue and maybe it's worth talking with a professional. This is the best pep talk I have at the moment, hope it helps.

After all is said and done, we dont need a bunch of people living with their parents ending their lives, we need a bunch more people who are part of the solution and anyone who says different is a nutjob.

Look at the positives:

• The doctors were able to diagnose the aneurysm before it dissected.

• Your dad seems to have near-superhuman stamina, toughness, and a positive attitude that most motivational speakers would pay a great deal of $$$ to have.

• Your dad has chosen the strongest coping mechanism of them all (IMO), humor.

• Your dad has a strong, loving family.

It's normal to feel anxiety and sorrow when a parent is having to go for live-saving surgery; at a sub-conscious level you're probably thinking of your dad as the one who got you out of bad scrapes and such. Finding out that he is vulnerable can be very unsettling.

With this in mind, you have to know that neurosurgeons are the most well trained kind of doctors out there.

Wonder if reading the appropriate section of Shame Nation would impact him at all.

​

https://www.amazon.com/Shame-Nation-Global-Epidemic-Online/dp/149264899X

I actually just kind of confronted my own mortality.

I've lost people. Family to cancer, an ex I cared for deeply to suicide... Others who were simply transient in my life but were important to me, but moved on with their lives.

There is no way of truly knowing what happens after we die, if there is some greater meaning. I'm an atheist, for the most part, but there is an element of the skeptic there, the one that whispers "How do you know?" in the dark.

And the answer is, I don't. We didn't know ultraviolet light was really a thing until we developed means to detect it. We learned of ultrasonic sounds only because of the observable effects.

It is entirely conceivable to me that perhaps there is some greater meaning or state change after our corporeal bodies die. I simply don't know, even if I do suspect my existence is finite.

However... I am alive now. I can explore, I can taste, I can experience amazing things now. Even if it's all over someday, I imagine I won't care overmuch if I cease to exist, but for now...

The meaning is that which I ascribe to it. I tend to lean a little towards hedonism, truth be told, but there are many philosophical schools of thought that people find meaning in. Perhaps you would draw some comfort from that.

I'd also recommend reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl.

Sometimes the secret to overcoming ennui is looking at it a bit closer, rather than trying to ignore it.

Let him walk all over you. Support him. If he tries to kill you, offer no resistance. Cook for him. Let him sleep in your place. Don't call the cops who'll have him thrown out. Don't press charges on him for hitting you or stealing your personal belongings which'll have him put in prison. Don't consider moving, because he won't be able to steal more of your belongings if you vacate the premise known to him. Don't have him committed to a mental health hospital through the Baker Act. Definitely do not call the police if he forces his way into your house, who'll have him immediately kicked out of the house again.

It's a very adrenaline fueled game, as most pvp based games are. While not nearly as bad as DotA or its clones (LoL and HoN), there will always be people with attitudes that use insults as a form of trying to spark some kind of response. People take their win/loss ratios as a matter of pride sometimes, and when someone else comes along and "ruins it" for them, they often lash out aggressively.

Games like that often have an ignore or silence feature that is simple yet effective. I'm not sure if Team Fortress 2 (I'm assuming this is the game you mean) has such an option, as I haven't played it in years, and even then it was only a couple times, but I'd definitely look into it if someone has resorted to petty name calling over a game.

Edit Did a quick Google search and found this: http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/437678-team-fortress-2/52148484

Hey there, friend.

I understand you're in a panic right now, but try to focus and maintain. The data on your reformatted hard drive is not necessarily unrecoverable. It is possible to recover data from a hard drive that has been reformatted.

Try Googling, "Recovering files from a formatted hard drive." There are a number of utilities that can help you accomplish this.

I did a quick search myself and I've seen a number of forum responses saying that this utility works especially well.

http://www.softpedia.com/progDownload/Stellar-Phoenix-Digital-Media-Recovery-Download-22239.html

It may take a while and you may need to consult an expert in this sort of thing. If you have a local computer shop (read: not Best Buy or something similar), take your drive and your story to them; they may be able to help you with this if you can't do it yourself.

Try to come back from the edge of crisis, bro. Your data isn't necessarily gone forever, and even if it is, you will recover.

Best of luck to you, man, and don't hesitate to message me if you want some more help with your data recovery operation.

Buy a handheld GPS unit and go geocaching. You get out of the house, discover wonderful places you never knew existed and your kids will LOVE the "treasure hunt."

Best of all, you can go to geocaching groups and ask other people about their caching adventures. Geocachers are very accepting people. :)

As for social skills, try this. Google for "empathic listening" and "active listening". Make a pact with yourself that you will devote 60 percent of your time listening and responding to the other person and just 40 percent to your own chosen subjects.

Humans are programmed to interpret their own ideas acknowledged and reflected back to them in active-listening style as the active-listener being amazingly smart and preceptive. World's greatest conversation hack. :)

Also be sure you are ALWAYS the one who finds an excuse to end the conversation. That guarantees that you have not monopolized the other person's time, which helps a lot too. Leaves 'em wanting more rather than wanting to be somewhere else. :)

Music

e/ It's live. I've been through a ton of shit, and some of it sound similar to your shit. It sucks. It sucks having to go through, it sucks having to deal with, and it sucks having to work your way out of. I haven't figured out how to unfuck my situation yet, but I listen to music too. A lot of live music. I can't always get out to see bands in person, so I made a sub for live streams. It's /r/StreamingNow if you want to check it out. There's shit streaming every night. I hope you work through the bullshit that is life. I know it's difficult. I'm trying to do it too.

my son is in his first year of local college. He has discovered that the teachers at the community college are there because they are shitty teachers. He had to find information and teaching on the internet to access great teaching to allow him to learn. Kahn academy stick to it, and you might be depressed a bit so be sure to do things to fight off depression. Eat good foods, be sure to exercise to get your natural endorphins going, and be kind to yourself in your head. (self talk - be kind don't keep focusing on the negative) But, reach out for help to your family or friends if your really get feeling low.

• What car do you drive? Depending on your car you can be paying absurdly for insurance. For example a Honda Civic (although good car that is reliable and has good gas mileage) can be more expensive to insure because it's like the most stolen car in the US

• What's your phone bill? I pay $20 approx. on Ting, yes it's not all unlimited but I don't need to pay premium for an "unlimited" plan that I won't use anyway

• Budget your expenses. Use a spreadsheet or an app. I used "Money Lover" in the past.

• Do you need 1-3 video subscriptions? Or maybe you can share with friends? Or swap which video service you subscribe every few months.

• /r/personalfinance

At 24 there will be many ups and downs ahead of you. Your journey has only begun. Many people have gotten fired from jobs and gone on to succeed.

You are a lot stronger and resilient than you think. May I suggest reading Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who had everything taken away by the Nazis: his wife died in a death camp, he was sent to various concentration camps and subjected to incredible harships. And yet he survived and came out of the experience with a tolerant, optimistic view of life and humanity. It's worth a read to understand just how strong the human will really is and to learn from him how to cope with life's adversities. You can do this.

I'm really sorry, that sounds so frustrating and dispiriting. You're very self-aware though to be examining your patterns. I just read a book that deconstructs habits and gives advice on how to restructure them so that you're not caught in a downward spiral. It's called The Power of Habit. That or something like that might help you battle your anxiety. Also, when my skin breaks out I put a baking soda paste on the blemishes. It works really well on my skin, and also my SO's who has a history of acne. Good luck with your new products, I've heard it takes a month for a big change to come about with skin care so don't get dispirited yet.

Download NordVPN, open incognito browser and connect to different country in NordVPN, then create an account on that weaboo site and the mods will never know who you are and you can go back to posting about your waifu anime role play fantasies.

On one hand, while stress is probably making it worse, it would certainly be helpful to know if there's a primary cause.

On the other hand, never underestimate the amount of damage that stress can do (and the amount of stress that an abusive mother can cause). See a therapist if you can, and do whatever else you can to manage your stress - yoga, volunteer work, hike, join social clubs/activity clubs, cut off your mother (if you need to, and haven't already) whatever works for you. Go back to work - part time if you need to. Time off is great but sometimes not working can leave us alone too long with our demons as well as adding financial stress.

Definitely try to get the right medical care, but in the meantime see if you can narrow it down yourself (don't "go shopping" - it's just as important to reject things that don't fit as it is to short list things that do):

Some causes of chronic abdominal pain (scroll down to "chronic"):

https://www.mayoclinic.org/symptoms/abdominal-pain/basics/causes/sym-20050728

H. pylori:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/h-pylori/symptoms-causes/syc-20356171

You could even try diets for some of the conditions listed above to see if they have any affect.

By the way, what kind of testing has your doctor done so far? What has been ruled out or not ruled out?

The good news (I presume) is that you're independent from your mother now so you can try to build your life to be more positive and productive.The good news (I presume) is that you're independent from your mother now so you can try to build your life to be more positive and productive.

Always best to look at the physical before psychological. Take a look at hypothyroidism and see if you have more than three match-ups. Depression, weight gain, and loss of physical motivation/energy are big signs of thyroid problems. I'd go get a blood workup and ask for a TSH & free T4, plus you may also want to do a CBC test if your insurance covers it (many do once a year). These tests are pretty cheap these days and they give a lot of info so I'd get one regardless.

If everything looks clear, then I'd move to the psychological aspect of depression. Right now you do not seem to fall into a depressive disorder, but that could change. It's important not to isolate yourself, regardless. Early on it isn't much to worry about, but over time you can develop poor coping skills and begin to seek solitude. That's when other problems begin to creep into your life. It's a slow downward spiral that takes ten times longer to climb up than to fall down.

Don't sweat it about friends - honestly the ones that are worth having come later in my life (at least that's what I think, I'm sure many people will disagree). Also think about when one gets married - lots of responsibility there and it leaves time for only few friends and those that understand your constraints. You will find friends in time so it's nothing to be sad about. Also remember that people in general will not reach out to you unless they are confident they can help you. So don't hold it against them if they don't offer help.

I think what you have is situational depression, it's just things bring you down because of your surroundings. So am I to understand that if you were to hire a caregiver, you would have to pay them $12/hour? or would you be able to give them or the company they work for a lump sum amount of money for the month?

I don't know about your education level and what not, but I would say start putting yourself out there. For example here is a job that doesn't ask for a lot of qualifications, it's pretty good pay. Another important thing, keep trying. Give your job hunt all that you have, head over to the r/resumes to get some help if you need.

http://www.indeed.com/cmp/2Post-Servies-Dallas/jobs/Sorting-Delivery-Cantidate-d2996310db9a9475

There's a great website. FreeCodeCamp. I consider it the fastest way to learn web development.
And then there are tons of online platforms with web developer jobs, you can look them up yourself, or you can find a local development company and try to pass the interview. If you have any questions along the way, I'll be here to help.

Don't set yourself up to meet meaningless, dated 'milestones' that may not even define your life up to this point. Sounds like you're saying to yourself that if you aren't married, with children, in the house with the big picket fence by age 36 then your life is a failure. According to whom?? I'm turning 47 this week, and things never quite panned out in the past with the relationship thing. But I'm having the time of my life, because I've stopped using other people's 'milestones' as a measuring stick. No spouse, no kids? No baggage!

I think I'm with the other posters here in that you need to find new hobbies. IF having a relationship is that important to you (and you may find after some self-reflection that it isn't as important as you think it is), then use meetup.com. Scan the weekend local paper for fun-looking stuff. Yes, you have plenty of time left. And it can be glorious. Throw away those milestones and get out there!

So... person, here is the secret. If you spend your whole life wanting something but not making it happen it won't happen. Example - I want a job, but I am not ready to because I don't have the skills to be accepted for that job. Therefore you never apply to that job, and therefore you won't ever even have the chance to get it. The logic is cyclical and will follow you around your entire life if you let it. You need to roll the dice instead of worrying about it. and if it doesn't work then fuck it your already weird anyway.

Be honest with the people around and be like hey, I literally have no fucking friends and want some, do you wanna go rock climbing with me, or do something entertaining that doesn't involve me giving up self-worth? We do that enough just walking into this damned high school lol? (You make a joke and relate to the insipid reality that the US public education system sucks, and they will relate, and maybe throw you a bone, and by bone, I mean the opportunity to break the cycle and make some friends.) {This is a tactic in sales, called relating to pain points, also read this book should help alot in getting you most of the way there - {https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034}

Nobody here can diagnose you, and you should probably seek medical treatment.

That said, you've said that you realise

>he was just an invention from my mind and that maybe he was a manifestation of my subconscious

So based on that information, it seems like you've retained some level of sanity. However if it bothers you when he appears or tells you things, then maybe you should seek medical treatment.

If I were you, I'd also do some reading on mental illnesses related to hallucinations/visions/being "haunted"/presence of spirits, etc. Here's a guide from 7 Cups on schizophrenia to get you started.

Good luck and take care!

well you never know they may not last you may find someone else.

just put your feelings for her on the back burner. just try to go about your life normally.

also this http://armorgames.com/play/13225/pretentious-game if things change and she becomes available again send her that.

You can turn to Khan Academy to help review topics all through university. If this doesn't help, I recommend trying to form a study group with your peers, visiting your Professor's office hours, or visiting with your TA (assuming you have one).

I am a rising freshman and also plan to major in Computer Science. The program at my university is also quite math heavy.

After hearing your story, I feel that my mom is not too paranoid. Though my mom used parental control keylogger on our computers, and we argued with her for several times. She said that she just did it for protection and would delete it when we grow up. Now, she did delete the keylogger from my computer when I went to high school. And my sister is still monitored. But at least, my mom kept her words. And we know she just want to protect us.

ready clean

Has worked perfectly for me 5/5 drug tests I've taken. You can find similar products and GNC and other vitamin/health and wellness stores for you.

I always get two-drink one the night (or a couple) nights before, then one ~2 hours before your test.

What it does is waters down your urine, but instead of just water, it has creatine and vitamin B too (common ingredients found in urine) so it doesn't create an invalid test, it creates a negative.

As for the mouth swab, just don't smoke between now and tomorrow and drink lots of water and tea and you'll be 100% fine!

Also, no wonder everybody is understaffed.... If you wanna stock shelves at Lowes you're not even allowed to smoke weed in your free time? Wtf kind of life is that?

DBT is a fucking lifesaver if you really are fed up enough to try smthg different. It was created by someone who was going THRU IT. Worth looking into

I'm sorry you're not in a good place. It sounds like you need some self-respect. Getting fit might be one option - running, pushups, situps don't cost anything. Do stick around though - this is probably the hardest time of your life, don't prevent yourself from getting to the better parts.

As to chess, for introductory concepts you want something like Silman's Book of Strategy. And later for tactics training and independent research, something like the website chesstempo.com

Hang in there. Getting your life oriented around some purpose might help, which would take the focus off self-criticism. There's no way to win that, no matter who you are.

Best wishes.

Awesome! Oh and I found it super helpful to record the meditation instructions from the book on my phone in a really calm voice. It sounds hokey, but I think it really made a difference to listen to them in my voice.

And if DBT resonates with you, I got this other book after finishing the one you ordered, and it has been reallllly great. This one is by the badass woman who created DBT and its a huge book of helpful worksheets that make sense after you've practiced the concepts a bit in that other book.

Oh and one last piece of info, if at some point you have the option to try EMDR therapy, its amazing for the kind of trauma that follows you and which you just can't shake. Its evidence-based and has helped people with devastating PTSD. Just another option to keep in mind. Good luck to you!! :)

I really recommend working on this DBT book yourself, really doing all the exercises and taking it all in. It really helps with intense emotions, esp when you grew up with no good role models for dealing with feelings.

I am located in Canada, so even mace is illegal. We have bear and dog mace but not nearly as strong.

I got myself something called a mini koga. You can find how to videos on how to use properly by the person who created them. I got mine from amazon.

That sounds unbelievably hard.

You feel like you're working really hard, that it's not noticed, and that you're unappreciated and often treated with mockery or ill behavior.

You also don't feel like you have any outlets for expressing this. Typing all this out must have been really hard. I bet reading over it feels really heavy too, like it's too much to take in.

I want to end on a good note, so I think about Victor Frank's "Man's Search for Meaning" - a book about his experiences in the Holocaust camps - where he wrote (2 things that jump out at me)

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”

So - of course you feel put upon, at your wits end, might lack love, might falter in your determination, might suffer anger and indignity - of course you feel these ways.

And - “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

The big takeaway I had from your story was your incredible commitment to rising up to this challenge. Even though it seems so full of misery and hardship, it sounds like you're trying to maintain, to be the bigger person, and to help others. That's amazing.

Tuesdays with Morrie is pretty good... some decent life lessons.

Way of peaceful warrior by Dan Millman is also enriching.

Whenever I'm not feeling "at peace with things" I just read a spiritual philosophy book.

Much like reading the bible to gain wisdom through specific scripture, you don't have to buy into all of it in order to appreciate some of it.

You know?

In Viktor Frankls' Man's Search for Meaning there is a quote which I really take weight of, which is "Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it."

If you need more ideas or different books then just let me know.

I'm saying the fact that there's one girl you like out of the n number of people means that there are others. People are shy, take initiative and ask people out. My favorite book on the subject is Models by Mark Manson. Some stuff is a little out there, but it has really gotten me out of that area of desperation.

(Haha, I love Stephen King! Misery is one of my favorite books! I loved his no bullshit style in On Writing)

I'm sorry if I came off as manipulative. I wasn't actively trying to do so. All I really want is help to get better and a good long hug.

My issue with my parents is that they'll try to comfort me one moment, then all of a sudden be accusing me of not caring about life. I think I should sit down and talk with them about communication.

I love you. Everything you said is exactly what I needed to hear, and thank you so much for the book recommendations! I am definitely moving on to those after Think and Grow Rich by Dr. Napoleon Hill. The least edited/censored version the better, because the Bankers really DON'T want you learning this stuff! The Law of Attraction is a beautiful thing, and is not to be underestimated. I thank you so much kind Redditor for taking the time out of your day to cheer me up. People like you are what help make this site my favorite community (:

Good book. In elementary school I was bored one summer and read the Chinese classic "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". It's like an annotated reference edition of The Art of War with detail examples and post battle analysis of various techniques.

While my mother got to me sometimes during adolescence and teenage years, mostly her techniques were pretty transparent and amateurish. I chose to see her attempts as entertaining as they bounce right off.

I'm sorry for your struggles, I can empathize with you truly. I've always known that I'm above average in intelligence (I'm not a genius, but I'm smart enough to do well academically). But in highschool I struggled a lot because of my ADHD and my depression/anxiety.

I don't know what kind of people your parents are, but if you believe they truly love you, you should talk to them about it. They're the only people in the world that are with you until the end, they want you to succeed and be happy.

As for physical anxiety/depression/inability to concentrate in school you may have to do a number of things. I'm not a doctor at all, but here are my suggestions: 1. Adderall if you have issues focusing in class/ getting stuff done. Get a prescription from a doctor if possible. 2. Seeing a therapist to work through depression. It's hard to do anything let alone succeed academically when you're depressed and that's a fact. 3. Take some magnesium supplements for anxiety. It won't get rid of your problems directly but it will give you a clear mind so that you can deal with it more effectively. It also calms your mind down so you don't make mountains out of molehills over every little thing. (https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Calcium-Magnesium-Raspbery/dp/B003I4P3JS)

I don't like the idea of a "dating game" - To me, it trivializes what can be deep meaningful relationships. I tend to meet people and, however seriously we become involved, we do. Each relationship is a different experience you learn from. To me, the fear of investing feelings is part a fear of being hurt by the other person, and part a fear of loss. The first is inevitable and is kind of like an entrance fee into a relationship. You have to open up in order to get anything meaningful out of it. You experience the loss when you have had something meaningful and its time for it to end. There's such a thing as being too trusting, but I'm inclined to think the loss is a positive thing to the extent that it means you experienced something worthwhile. I take a Taoist approach to relationships, the Taoism I've gleamed from this book. Its a quick read that reminds me to stay in the present. To me, the pain of loss doesn't hurt so bad when I can look back at the good with a smile, knowing that I made the most out of things when I had the chance.

Yes, actually. A. C. Grayling wrote The Good Book, which is a 'humanist bible' and something I find very comforting. This site has some quotes from it. I recommend taking a look at Consolations, specifically, which is centered around grief/death. Lamentations is pretty cool too. It takes the form of the Bible but is secular.

Accept the mortality of ourselves and those we love, and see that to give life is to prepare to lose it, to love is to prepare to grieve, and yet: love, and give life, and be full of courage and honour, for this is our human lot, and we must make it as fine as our powers allow. Consolations 13:18-19

You've experienced (in all probability) less than a third of your lifespan at this point. You have some time to learn.

Regardless, talking to women is no different than talking to anyone else. They're people and respond to many of the same things. Read this: http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034 If you're clever you'll find an ebook or audio book somehow, I'm sure.

That book's been around forever for a reason. But the main thing about it is, it asks you to begin investing time in learning about the perspectives of others. People love to talk about themselves, and they love it when people listen. Taking a genuine interest in others is a huge first step.

You're probably not looking for a book, but The Power of Now was pretty life-changing. It opens up a whole new world, for a while after meditating and whatnot, it seemed like everything was glowing, alive, totally peaceful. The story is, most of your problems come from thinking too much. You have conversations in your head all day, playing both sides, criticizing and defending yourself. You imagine future events that make you feel better. stahp.

Check out the book <em>Emotional Blackmail</em> by Susan Forward. Divorce is a big decision and it certainly may be necessary, but I know that if I were in your shoes, I would want to understand everything about the situation I am in and the options I have in dealing with it before moving forward. I highly recommend this book to help with both. I bought it for myself recently after browsing the highly rated books around that topic on Amazon, and have nearly finished reading it. In my case, I am trying to understand and deal with having grown up with overly controlling parents and all of the consequences of that. But from having read most of the book, the situation you are describing seems to be a clean fit for emotional blackmail, in terms of your husband using his close emotional ties to you as leverage to get you to do (or prevent you from doing) things that he (you) wants.

Enlist a friend or cousin's help in ending this. Your job is to avoid all contact after the breakup, let a cousin handle the details of getting addresses changed and whatnot. Get help in doing the details.

Don't spend forever planning your escape and never doing it. As I've said before, leave when everything appears fine. Leave on your terms, don't wait for some big drama. Leave simply because you know it's right to do so.

Also, read this book if you're still on the fence about leaving:

http://www.amazon.ca/Good-Leave-Stay-Step-Step/dp/0452275350

Like in hockey you never make a goal if you don't shoot. Go out four nights a week, play the game with four sets an hour for five hours a night. Its easy! Read the books. So quit moping around on the internet, read a book and get out there. You can do it, and you'll feel like the man when people start telling you they are amazed by how confident and out going you are. Fake it till you make it. http://www.venusianarts.com/ http://www.amazon.com/The-Pickup-Artist-ebook/dp/B002Z0QV9M/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&amp;m=AG56TWVU5XWC2

Reading in public on the kindle is nice and discrete too. ;) Good luck, have fun and play safe.

There is a book called Catch Me Before I Fall you might want to read it. I'm not trying to liken you to the main subject, it's just a story of strength that I thought you could get something from.

Kiddo (I say that, having been there/done that years ago), a simple trick to overcoming that sense of being socially awkward is to pretend that you're not. I'm serious. If you act the way a person you'd like to be would act, you'll become that person--at least, as far as everyone else can tell.

See, college really does offer you a fresh start. No one knows you. And the only one causing you to behave a certain way is you.

As others here have said, find something you like to do and do it. If there are no clubs celebrating what you like, make one.

Don't hate me if I recommend this book. The ideas in it really, truly work. I learned this some years back when I started doing them without actually having read it.

You can do this. You really can. Believe in yourself. Like your dad believes in you. Like you want to.

It takes a lot of time and energy to get past it, but it is possible. Remain conscious of what you feel and why you feel it - and examine. Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's valid or productive (anger over something silly, over-reactions, kneejerk responses and so on).

I'm poly, and found the book The Ethical Slut to give a lot of interesting perspective on jealousy and envy. I have jealous tendencies just like so many others do, but that doesn't mean I let it own me. I own it. If it's not valid, I dismiss it and find something better to do with my limited time here on earth.

I find it helps to have someone you trust completely and who will not judge you to bounce your feelings off of. I have a partner who thinks very similarly to myself, and we fill this role for each other - when there's something he feels strongly about but isn't sure is right, he'll bounce it off me and we'll discuss it. A lot of the time we'll disagree, or we'll play devil's advocate to help see whatever's going on from a different perspective. A friend or partner like this is invaluable.

There are a lot of helpful articles and books out there, and a lot of different approaches and philosophies. Try some and see what happens!

Here is a book you should get written by a Harvard psycho-pharmacologist:

http://www.amazon.com/Prozac-Backlash-Overcoming-Antidepressants-Alternatives/dp/0743200624/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1334269982&amp;sr=8-1

It might also be good to have a calendar where you write that sort of thing. "Sort cables by this day, or discard." I checked out &quot;ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life&quot; from the library and it had a lot of tips similar to that, how to keep things on your mind and set up specific times for dealing with them, rather than letting them disappear in the corners.

This is part of awakening to a more mature way of thinking. Prayer is useful for aligning your wholesome intentions, but it is your actions (and your intentions behind those actions) that make the difference.

There is a very good little book called Quiet Mind, Open Heart: Finding Inner Peace through Reflection, Journaling, and Meditation. It has Christian quotes in it, as well as Buddhist, and other religious perspectives. It's full of thoughtful questions, beyond the mundane, that help people go through what you are talking about. You do not have to journal, although you do write well and it may help. PM me if you want.

Read this book. I generally don't read books but when I was reading this one, it changed my life. It helped me lost 20 lbs, I can run 21km now and currently I'm thinking of my future to be a great violinist in my home city (still a dream though but I'm making it!).

I was like you. Depressed, got some issues, and I worry about my future will be. Now, I'm not depressed because I feel I got a purpose to pursue in life. Those issues, I got comfortable around it because we're human, we make mistakes, we have insecurities, and limitations. I got worried what my future will be (I realized this when I was in college. One more year and I will graduate), what I did was just do the things that you like and want to do and BAM! It'll just hit you.

My motivation come from my parents, bro and sis. They don't support me or be present when I'm on the roll but All I know is that they want me to do what I love to do.

TL;DR:

1. Pull your strings up.

2. Go find and buy OR borrow the book in your local library.

3. Go tell your physics teacher about that work you have in September and prove to her that you can do better (much better pass the work infront of her) If you don't do it, your grade will just go down the drain.

I've been there and it sucks.

I highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of Feeling Good. This will teach you how to force yourself out of negative thinking patterns and how to feel better about yourself. I know how impossible that seems when you're feeling really down, but please give it a read. This book helped me learn how to defeat self-hate and depression more than therapy and medication ever did, and I can't recommend it enough.

Also this book might go a long way towards explaining why your parents only love a certain "picture in their minds" of you - and not really you. Same for your brother.

(And don't be put off by the overly-sensationalist title... there's actually some pretty good wisdom in that book that could help. :)

Check out The 4-Hour Body. It's not the magic bullet that it purports to be, but there are some very good and clear steps about what you should and should not do. Just follow it to a tee and you'll get results.

>"hey, if you were rev'd up more then maybe it would have worked."

It's possible that she has a fetish or interest in sexual aggressiveness which she isn't expressing well. I'd go through some of Dan Savage's archives for advice on approaching such play, and then discuss it with her to see if that's something she's interested in.

Also, I am rarely in the mood for sex if I'm stressed out and have a lot of demands to deal with in my day-to-day. If she has a lot going on then having sex won't feel like something that's relaxing and rejuvenating, but another demand that she doesn't have time or energy for. There are a lot of books out there with insight on how women experience sex differently than men (She Comes First leaps to mind) which you might read together to see if there is something that the two of you can do to reconnect sexually and have it meet both of your needs.

I had back/upper neck pain from 18 to 26. I went to multiple physical therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, and massage therapists. I was just like you - had X-rays and MRI's and doctors told me there was nothing physically wrong with me. This book was the best thing that helped me.

Give it a try, it's only $6 on Amazon.

Just had a thought. You should join a community of people that are all trying to better themselves as well. Perhaps habitrpg? personally, I lean towards coach.me. and also, you should download mood tracker. There's a great community of people willing to listen and encourage you and you could do some of your own while your at it since helping others is known to make ourselves feel better. and join tumblr and follow only positive, encouraging blogs (there's a huge community of those too) and whenever you're feeling low, check your dashboard to be inundated with encouragement and love.

there's a lot of stuff you can do, boo. hope you take some of my suggestions if not all <3 you gotta be proactive.