What are /r/depression's favorite Products & Services?

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> Most of us are actually stunted by the terrible effects of late-stage capitalism

Tell me about it.

Today's young people are more highly educated, more skilled, more qualified, more flexible, more mobile, more adaptable, and more open-minded than any generation the world has ever seen.

And yet, most of us are treated like disposable cogs, or as living robots, to be used until burnt-out and then discarded.

The number of basic entry-level jobs that require good degrees, 5+ years experience, and 2-3 references is getting out of hand.

I should know: I have a degree and a PhD in a hard STEM subject from a good university, and it barely helps at all in finding a decent job.

Even if you can get a job, the pay will likely be low (lower in real-terms than it has been for a very long time), the job stressful, and your continued employment precarious.

And yet living costs keep going up, to the point that many young people are either delaying or completely abandoning the idea of marriage, starting a family, or owning a home.

And even the distant relief that retirement might bring is being pushed back. Retirement ages keep creeping up, and there's even talk by the ruling elite of moving 'from retirement as an aspiration to lifelong work as an aspiration'.

Previous generations have wrecked the economy and wrecked the environment in the name of ever-more growth, ever-more profit - creating one of the most unequal societies in the history of the world (it's reported that the 62 wealthiest people now own more wealth that the poorest 50% of the world combined).

And now, it's us - their children and grandchildren that have to bear the costs.

It's little wonder that depression, anxiety, and suicide continue to become more and more common.

Mine has to be from The Smiths, "And when I'm lying in my bed, I think about life and I think about death. And neither one, particularly, appeals to me."

Or the lyrics to All Of Me Wants All Of You by Suffy

And The World At Large by Modest Mouse

Listening to podcasts is one of the most the most important things (along with therapy and mindfulness meditation) that helped me overcome a major depressive episode that lasted around two years (now I'm just casually depressed). They are great because you can get immersed in these super interesting conversations which gives you a break from constant negative self-talk. It also feels great to listen to stories of people in similar positions.

Wrestling With Depression is the one that helped the most. It's hosted by a comedian from Chicago. He mostly interviews his comedian friends so it's entertaining but they also talk about serious stuff. At the end of each episode the guest takes an online depression quiz.

Another one I'd recommend is a recent episode of the Ezra Klein Show entitled "Is modern society making us depressed?" It's a really great conversation on the social causes of depression.

Other podcasts I'd recommend on this topic are 10% Happier and My Own Worst Enemy.

Have you ever tried Lumosity? - It's been helping me clear out the "brain fog" in the morning.

From what I've researched it is possible to relieve symptoms through cognitive training. CBT is a form of cognitive training that has the ability to change brain chemistry. It just takes a loooooong time.

I drespectfully disagree. Finding meaning in life has literally nothing to do with privilege but with attitude, resilience and courage.

Conflating privilege with meaning denies the capacity of something all human's can do regardless of their conditions. It is imo an error in understanding the human condition by confusing it with the conditions of humanity.

I read Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning. It's an extraordinary book he wrote about his experiences and observations about life and death, and meaning, in the Nazi Death Camps. I found the book by accident years ago and it was a game changer for me personally in healing my depression and generating an attitude shift that had nothing to do with my external conditions and everything to do with taking responsibility for the choices I could and did make.

Perhaps it can give you similar insight as well. It can be a radically liberating experience to not attach meaning in life to conditions in life. Luxury is a material condition. Meaning is a choice.

here is his wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

"His best-selling book Man's Search for Meaning [...] chronicles his experiences as a concentration camp inmate, which led him to discover the importance of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even the most brutal ones, and thus, a reason to continue living. Frankl became one of the key figures in existential therapy and a prominent source of inspiration for humanistic psychologists.[3]"

EDIT: grammar and added wikipedia link

There is a neurotransmitter issue found in clinical depression. Other types of depression subside with time, while clinical depression remains, if untreated, a debilitating illness.

Step by step.

Change is slow, takes a long, long time.

Think about how many hours you spent as a child just to learn to write.

Be patient, let time heal you.

Work, at least for me, has always been a way to ease the pain. Get a simple part time job. Something simple, maybe as a bank as a teller.

The goal is to learn good work, not to make money.

Dont forget you are what you do, ideas wont change you, actions will. Change your actions, change your life, changes your problems.

Read one book: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Use a schedule, start with SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE

Go to sleep on time, wake up early, even weekends. Go for a 20 minute walk, have a good breakfast.

Write down who you are and what you want to be. Write down 1 person you love and why. Write down 3 things you are thankful for.

Write down why you want to change.

Listen to r&b/jazz, cool music, no depressive shit......

Use your money to get new clothes, if you have a fashion friend, treat them to a nice dinner and have them help you pick out a wardrobe.

In your job, respect everyone, help everyone, do your best.

Dont think for 6 months.. You do this, you will see some change...

oh yeah, get a good haircut.

If your parents are shit, nobody owes you anything, just try to surprise yourself, you wont regret it. You arent unique, you arent special, if you want a better life, change your actions.

Good luck...its only up from here

Reminded me of I Have a Special Plan For This World by Thomas Ligotti, an author with anhedonia and panic disorder.

>there is nothing to do and there is no where to go

>there is nothing to be and there is no one to know

>you are caught in your own dreaming

Whole thing is rather brilliant imo, can be listened to or read.

This was wonderful. This December, I somehow ended up reading Learned Optimism, and then learned a lot about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, even taking some of the tests in the book and generally thinking about how I was talking to myself. It's absolutely changed my whole attitude towards myself. I picked up my grades to the highest they've been in about 2 years (college junior), and recently started working out much more regularly. I guess I'll have to agree with every point you made here. It's not just a cliche when thy say you have to try and be nice to yourself.

I highly recommend reading about CBT, btw.

That sucks. I think it's actually cool that the closet is your sanctuary, even if it must feel goofy stepping into it. As a man who's been similarly insensitive at time, I found this extremely long thread about emotional labor very eyeopening. I'd encourage you to read it too, because it will validate your feelings and might help you articulate why what happened is a lot more than "basically nothing."

hi, i'm a college student also struggling with being productive (and depression).

• have you tried the pomodoro technique? it's a method of working where you pick a task, eliminate all distractions, and work on that task for 25 minutes. if you remember that you have to do something else, just write it down and continue working on your task. after 25 minutes, take a 5 minute pause. one period of 25 minutes is called a pomodoro. after each pomodoro you take a 5 minute pause, and after 4 pomodoros you take a 15 minute pause. this technique really helped me become more productive.

• as u/Memories_of_You said, developing a morning routine is great. mine consists of practicing yoga and mindfulness meditation.

• perhaps you should get organized? there's a great book on organizing/productivity called Getting Things Done, i've read it and now i'm much better organized (i'm using Evernote on my laptop and smartphone).

• if you're into games, you can try some other apps like Habitica that turn your life into a game by rewarding you for doing tasks

• you can also subscribe to r/GetStudying

The most likely explanation is that you aren't so bad at everything as you think you are. Seriously. I know the tone of that message... I have been there. A person gets into the "hate myself" spiral, and you start seeing every thing as unequivocally bad and entirely your fault. CBT is a good technique to get over this. See the book, "Learned Optimism." it helped me break this spiral.

That absolutely sucks, I'm really sorry :(. I don't know why people can't understand that the fact that you cut doesn't necessarily mean you are suicidal. I'm sure for some people it does, but I know back when I was cutting it was more like being addicted to a drug than anything else.

I just want to comment briefly on your last paragraph. I know it's hard to believe in a depressed state, but you DO deserve to be happy. It isn't your fate to suffer all your life. You have a disease, despite what people like your mother would have you believe. This is absolutely not your fault in the slightest. You wouldn't blame a cancer patient for getting cancer. Those of us with depression often suffer something called anhedonia which is the inability to experience joy and pleasure, despite all the good things you may have going for you in life. If you don't know or can't yet accept this, it's really easy to beat yourself up and feel guilty because you have so much and still aren't happy. But it isn't your fault, as long as you do your best to keep on fighting this shitty disease.

It's hard, so incredibly hard, but you need to keep fighting. You can beat this. This shitty counselor situation is a setback, but it isn't the end of the road for you. Find a new counselor, there are some websites like http://locator.apa.org/ that may help. Other things that helped me immensely are mindfulness meditation (two books I'd recommend are Mindfulness in Plain English and The Mindful Way Through Depression, which has a CD) and a book called Undoing Depression. I suffered from major depression for 3 straight years, but I've finally found the right medication, have a good therapist and am finally starting to feel better. So it isn't hopeless.

You can do it too. Good luck! Feel free to message me (or just reply of course) about this stuff too :).

That voice in your head, my friend, is the pathological critic. It is your internal self-directed monologue that reflects how you view yourself in the world.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_Role_of_a_pathological_critic

I'm no expert but I believe what you're exhibiting is suicidal ideations. Perhaps seeking counseling will help with these thoughts before they turn darker and more serious.

edit I just found this a little further down

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-overcome-depression-steve-pavlina/1122748567

I am by no means a dietary expert but I can give a little insight to your calorie intake. First, go to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/tools/bmr-calculator and calculate your basal metabolic rate. This is the amount of calories your body burns if you just laid in bed all day. Next, multiply this number by a coefficient based on your daily activity. If you get little exercise other than doing what you do during the day, multiply this by 1.2. If you exercise a few times a week, up this to 1.4. If you exercise more than that, go up to 1.5 or even more.

This is the amount of calories you burn every day. Don't kid yourself, if you eat less than this you will lose weight. How much? Well if you eat a deficit of 500 calories a day, you will lose about 1 pound a week. So if my paragraph above says you use 1500 calories a day, but you only eat 1000, you will lose a pound a week. Also, eating less than 1000 calories less than your daily intake is extremely dangerous and can result in immediate medical problems.

One thing about your post that concerns me is that you mention taking a multivitamin, as if that makes you healthy. Multivitamins are supplements, designed to fill up holes in your diet. They are not a replacement for meals and contain no calories. If you have a poor diet, these vitamins may have no effect since most vitamins require macrocalories, fat carbs and protein, in order to be absorbed and used properly.

I'm so sorry, how unfortunate that when you finally meet someone it ends so badly for you.

The trouble with relationships is that there is so much that we can't control, so if we put our emotional investment in the outcome we're setting ourselves up for failure. If we tie our self-esteem to outcomes that are beyond our control, like the opinions or actions of others, then we're setting ourselves up for getting our self-esteem and self-confidence flattened.

You have experienced a loss that clearly means a great deal to you, but it does not mean that you are less, or worth less, because of this.

One way to build self-esteem and self-confidence is by being the kind of people we need to be, being our "best selves", trying our best to live up to our deepest values, whatever they are. Those choices energise and sustain us, even if the outcomes are not what we would wish.

I think the principle of investing emotionally in our own choices along the way, rather than the outcome, is articulated particularly well in this TED "Best of the Web" talk by Srikumar Rao.

http://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness.html

It won't give you a lot, but some people have had some success here: https://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome

Basically, it's a website ran by amazon where companies hire out really tiny tasks that are just a bit too complex for computers, but not complex enough to hire somebody to do. You can expect around maybe 25-50 cents for about 2-5 minutes, which adds up over time.

Check out /r/mturk

I found that working out helps me release a lot of my anger instead of lashing out on others. I know that you said CBT hasn't worked for you, but I would suggest giving the book "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D Burns a read. It gives a lot of helpful techniques for dealing with the thoughts that control our feelings. It's just on you to actually push yourself to use those techniques.

Suicidal thoughts can be a slippery slope, so be careful. For a long time, I was able to deflect them with a fundamental belief that things can always get better. However, a month or so ago I started indulging in it, and thoughts of suicide have been more and more persistent. It could also be side effects from a new medication I've started taking

I find reading what great philosophers or authors have to say about this to be a good help in these matters. While suicide isn't a normal thought, by hearing peoples experiences with it you can normalize it, and make it seem less threatening. Depending on who you read, it can be depressing, but its usually at least honest. Bertrand Russell, Leo Tolstoy, Camus, Sarte, Soren Kierkegaard, Aldous Huxley, and many others have written about suicide and depression.

If your looking to distract yourself with something more positive, but still effective, look into Stoic philosophy. I find it to be very grounded, rational, and inspiring. It leaves you with a good feeling, without requiring that you believe in some heavy spiritual woo. I'd strongly recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, or something by Epictetus

My main strategy is to be away from my thoughts as much as humanly possible. Staying busy is your friend. Netflix makes me feel lethargic but I find books are an acceptable distraction. Whenever I'm not doing something I have to do, I'm reading, just to keep my mind occupied

Viktor Frankl (Man's Search for Meaning) would have likely asked you why you have not yet killed yourself. and he then would have offered that the reason you have not is because the real you wants to live, survive and thrive.

i don't know you. i do know what desperation feels like and i know when i'm willing to be completely vulnerable with people who can support me (not fix my problem) i have and do get better.

i wish for you what you wish for yourself

You're right; people do suck, hard. Hey bro, at least you are intelligent. It's a curse and a blessing. I believe the proper term for our affliction is Depressive Realism. Don't give up man. Look at the big picture. The world is far from perfect, but we ARE making progress -- because of people like you and me. I'm sure you've encountered some "quality" humans during your lifetime. It is we, the small handful of enlightened humans, who make the world a better place. Everything that you enjoy and take for granted today was fought for and earned by previous generations, so keep the momentum going. If you take a big step back -- think geological timescale -- we are making an incredible amount of social progress. The most powerful thing that you can do is to influence our impressionable youth to "do the right thing" and be part of the cause. I don't know you, but when I come across people like you, I HAVE YOUR BACK. Read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Frankl if you are feeling a bit of nihilism.

Think about and consider "social norms" that may be contributing to these feelings you're having; i.e. social norms that tell us what we ought to have in our lives for our lives to be considered worth living.

Think about them and consider whether or not you agree with the status quo; does it apply to you? Should it? Is the value of your life really measured in such ways?

Much of the way people treat us is determined by how we treat ourselves. It is sometimes human nature for people to reflect our energy back at us and if that energy is negative it tends to affect how we interpret the events occurring around us, or change them entirely.

As far as your ex is considered, that person should have been out of your life long ago and you know it. So cut it off.

Need help meeting people? Broaden your perspectives to be more accepting not only to yourself, but to those around you.

Here's a suggestion: Do you play boardgames? Maybe, maybe not... Do you know this website? Maybe this sort of thing isn't for you, but these games are a great way to meet and socialize with others, especially in a big city.

I would suggest challenging yourself to learn something you don't think you would enjoy. If you want some info on getting started, just let me know.

beacon

Interesting, I first watched it some time ago when everything was ok in my life and I couldn't feel the depression behind it. What will definitely and 100% get to me would be to re-watch Paranoia Agent. That and Haibane Renmei, even though it's not that depressing, or maybe it is, I have no idea, I just feel that I will just fall down if I were to watch it again.

I used to use pidgin (a messenger-like software) here,

EDIT : In case it's not obvious, facebook support is "XMPP" in the list,

but by now, I perma-deleted facebook, also I stopped reading that wall of text when he went "hurr durr scientists don't know shit, chemicals kills your butt"

this is exactly what this book talks about, IDK I believe that life is meaningless and am pretty sure that it is NOT about happiness, even successful people may have a miserable life. and I remember J.Peterson saying that it's just a succession of hard choices and challenges that you face every day and that's all.

Before you decide on anything, take a day off, go to a local library and pick up a copy of Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Maybe try The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. You'll not regret picking up these books, and if you find out they weren't for you, you can still make whatever decision you want.

Somehow I know you'll learn to detach from the thought "I am this" to the "I' that sits behind your thinking mind. Somehow I know you'll learn to see the suffering as suffering and learn to detach from it.

If it's your job that's holding you back, quit now and be free to take on something else. If it's your living situation, change it. You need a retreat, but not like this. You have the power of choice.

This subject is covered in a number of books I have recently read. The latest "Thinking: Fast and Slow"

It is hard for me not to write a novel on here, but basically I wanted to say; I was a very depressed person, I read these books, and now I have a very changed perspective. I would now consider myself an optimistic realist. My attitude is, accept that failure is sometimes likely, I am not above the numbers, but every time I put forth effort puts me closer to the time I might succeed. Therefore I keep trying and now... I am much more successful, happy, and balanced.

I feel I should write a summary of all of these books I have read. Here is a list.

"Stumbling on Happiness"

"Flow"

"Thinking, Fast and Slow"

"Mind Set"

"Drive"

"The Paradox of Choice"

"The 4 hour work week"

"The Power of Full Engagement"

"The Little Book of Talent"

"So Good They Can't Ignore You"

"Switch"

From an evolutionary standpoint, people like you and I aren't equipped for success at all. If we were any other animal we would quickly be killed off and the collective strength of the species would increase.

However man has chosen to remove himself from Nature in lieu of civilization and this system places much more value "less desirable" traits than Nature does.

For instance evolution and natural selection favors those who are fit enough to survive and reproduce. The fit and the strong survive and the weak are cast aside.

However in civilization being physically strong is not that important if it's even important at all. It is intelligence that modern civilization rewards. Some of the most influential men in recent history: Einstein, Gandhi, MLK, Tesla, Paine, Voltaire; all just intelligent men. Hell even in war it's not brute force that wins, it's intelligence and guile. The Art of War is nothing but being intelligent on the battlefield.

As for free will it reminds me of a quote from one of Orson Scott Card's books by the protagonist, Ender, "Even if there’s no such thing as free will, we have to treat each other as if there were free will in order to live together in society. Because otherwise every time someone does something terrible, you can’t punish him because he can’t help it, because his genes or his environment or God made him do it, and every time someone does something good, you can’t honor him, because he was a puppet, too. If you think that everyone around is a puppet, why bother talking to them at all? Why even try to plan or create anything, since everything you plan or create or desire or dream of is just acting out the script your puppeteer built into you."

Seconded on the switching counselors. I've heard good things about group therapy, but have never tried it myself.

I just wanted to underline that you KNOW that you build up a tolerance to cutting. It feels good for a bit and while building up a tolerance you can also build up an addiction that actually does little to serve your mental health despite the goal. Cutting may seem like a good stop-gap coping measure, but the scars and the desire to self-harm will stay with you long after it has finished any usefulness it may have had. In the meanwhile it will keep you from developing healthier coping mechanisms. When you feel the need -- take that walk, redrevival is spot on. The same endorphins released from self-harm can be released via exercise. If you want to talk about it, please PM me.

As to CBT, I have found it particularly useful. Your therapist sounds like she has no understanding of how to make it work. I would suggest picking up David Burns's The Feeling Good Handbook. It outlines alot of the logic behind CBT and gives suggestions for making it work. It's a good start to deciding if you think there is any sense in it.

The desire and attempt to get better even earns respect. You don't have to get there, but seeing you try will make impress others.

Do your own thing. Don't let other people affect you- though they do. Just focus on what you want to do and what you need to do.

And realize that your thoughts may not be grounded in reality anymore. I mean, you've had these thoughts for months, maybe years now, and the time may have narrowed your perspective to a small sliver of what reality is. Read some books, gain other people's perspectives and learn what else life can be. The Feeling Good Handbook is a start- but do something. Don't just let yourself stew in your own thoughts and keep mulling in a miserable life.

Let things start anew. Let yourself live, and become something else than you are.

Depending on where you and he live, there are likely resources available to help. While the VA may not provide assistance, there are many non-profit groups which will. Try checking out local clinics, community centers, or religious organizations and inquire about aid and counseling for mental illness or for veterans in general.

In terms of healthcare, I would try to encourage him to apply for insurance through the <strong>Health Insurance Marketplace</strong>. It is far from perfect, and it's future is uncertain, but it can prove to be affordable for people in very low income circumstances. I am only able to work part-time with no benefits, and I was able to get enough assistance that my monthly insurance cost is under $20 per month.

I hope you're able to convince him to get the help he needs. There is absolutely no shame in asking for aid when you're struggling with this. In terms of talking to him, I would encourage you to stress empathy over everything else. Much of the time people like us who are deeply depressed - we just need to be heard. Even just listening without judgement can help immensely.

If you are worried that he may be a danger to himself, try to ensure someone is with him or available at all times. I haven't found the national help lines to be particularly helpful, but some people have had positive experiences. If you need to leave him alone, you might try asking him to commit to safety while you're gone. Particularly for people of strong will - which I suspect he is, considering the circumstances - sometimes this commitment is enough to stave off the more drastic demons for a time.

Can we please use this form to keep the data clean, the data is saved to the spreadsheet. It's not nice having too many cooks in the kitchen.

You might want to link to this in the post.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dHJhWDh6Qm42MGlRTFBtb2NHbjkxdEE6MQ

People have an odd tendency to trust strangers over friends and family. And even Doctors. But there is hope. There's a site called Patients Like Me (ted special) which does something neat: it takes the people and correlates all their data, removing the individual posts and lets you know how likely you are to have side effects.

There's a story that I feel is relevant even though it's a completely different topic, and it's about a woman who posts constantly about how it's terrible that her husband is on a sex offender list because she was underage at the time. The problem is, she often gets her own age wrong. She claims she was 16, or 15, and never actually mentions her husband was something like 40 at the time. She was 14 and he was MUCH older. But the problem is, people read her sob story about how it's hard for him to get work and to find a place to live and don't read further into it. And your boyfriend is one of these people who read the initial story and doesn't go further.

Maybe if he learned statistics he'd be better?

First of all we don't care what you look like.

2nd there are a lot of thinks you can change about yourself. A bit overweight: Work out, check out r/fit and r/keto.(even a deep fryer can use fat with keto ) I used to be an obese brown guy with asthma til the age of 16 too but I changed my diet and started to work out and got ripped. Hairy: shave it. Razors don't cost a fortune. I would be covered with hair too if I would not shave my body all the time. No smarts: Some people learn faster some slower but since you can write and use a computer you can learn almost everything. The internet contains more than porn and pictures of cats. Go to http://www.khanacademy.org/ and learn all the things at your own speed. Your grades will improve and you will be able to go to college or to get the apprenticeship you want.

Dude at 16 you can still become any person you want to be.

You might have bigger issues. The hackers got your password from a breach and since you reused those details they got in. You might want to change the password to the other accounts that used that same password. Check out https://haveibeenpwned.com/ to see what breaches you're in and get yourself a password manager.

This is actually a fairly recent discovery in neuropsychology. Psychologists used to think that dopamine, a neurotransmitter that many antidepressant medications, specifically SSRIs, attempt to increase levels of in the brain, promotes feelings of happiness, but it actually increases motivation, not happiness.

What you describe reflects this. You can function better because your motivation is increased, but your level of happiness (or sadness) stays the same.

Sounds like this is your one bad day. (Joker reference) Sorry, ANYWAY:

&#x200B;

Please distract yourself, dont get into drugs/alcohol. If you have friends talk to them about it, if you dont: vent here in depth. Go out and talk to people you havent met to try and make frineds, join clubs (book clubs, movie clubs, game clubs etc via MeetUp.com) Aim to improve yourself, it can only go up from here, my man. Pick up a new hobby/skill that can impress people (i.e calligraphy, lockpicking, painting/drawing). Try reading self development books to mentally improve yourself (My recommendation is 48 Laws of Power) and financial literature (Rich dad poor dad, barefoot investor) to maybe handle your money better and to put your money to work (The sooner your financially free the stress you'll have, besides, when teaching yourself about money youll be distracted)

Jobs? Look for a job (obviously) But when you've found one consider starting a side business to make extra dough. (again ,it will distract you)

Thank you for reading and Im sorry if none of this helps. I hope you become okay :)

Alright, that's a solid answer. Whenever you're next able, see about getting some shut eye. If you have trouble here are a couple sites dedicated to "sleep noise" that may help:

http://soundstosleepto.com/

http://www.rainymood.com/

This might not be much, but it's a start and being well rested in itself may provide some form of comfort. Baby steps.

Wait for the affordable sexbots and virtual reality sets!

Try some drugs!

Whatch this show:

'Eighteen-year-old Georgia "George" Lass (Ellen Muth) is the show's protagonist and narrator. George dies early in the pilot episode and becomes one of the "undead", a "grim reaper". George soon learns that a reaper's job is to remove the souls of people, preferably just before they die, and escort them until they move on into their afterlife. George's death leaves behind her mother (Cynthia Stevenson) and the rest of her family at a point when her relationships with them were on shaky ground.'

Basically george is depressed and her grim reaper team are bunch of fuck ups. Hilarity ensues.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x57wmo5

Hi, thanks for sharing. I'm not a professional counselor so please take my advice with a grain of salt. Here's a couple observations.

• Being bullied is bad for your self esteem. Learning how to stand up to bullies is important. Here's one article with pointers on how to do that.
• I don't know your physical situation but getting in the gym is probably one of the best things you can do. It helps you feel better. It can also help with the bullying thing as people tend not to pick on those they feel are a threat.
• Realize that at your age a ton of people feel depressed. It's normal and comes with the uncertainties in life.
• Many people who get top scores in tests go on to do nothing with their lives. Not scoring well on one test is not the end of the world. Maybe it means you'll go to junior college instead. That's not a big deal at all and you'll learn a lot about life while there.

That's all the advice I have. Try not to be so hard on yourself for feeling bad. Many things in life get better with time.

You are not alone.

I experience the same emotions and reactions.

If you commit suicide what do you get? Game over, no replay.

Work through it and realise that whatever pain you are going through is better than no life at all. That is the only way I keep myself alive.

Happy to PM.

And, as an afterthought - why do you feel you should get regular contact from people - via txt FB etc? Just because your FB contacts express that they are loving their lives doesn't actually mean it is true.

People always put up a hyper-positive facade to their lives, What they don't realise is the damage that their moment of mood-enhancement does to those of us who truly struggle to take on board the least glimpse of happiness in our lives.

Set your own standards, your own internal 'map' of 'how life should be'. Do not attempt to measure your happiness by your perception of how happy others are.

Their apparent level of happiness is, like the cake, a lie.

I'm honestly not an expert but I would suggest that it is a bad brain malfunction. You might want to research a little more about neurobiology and short term memory failure. Therapists aren't the best resource for understanding neurological damage. Look for a doctor that specializes in memory loss.

In the meantime, I would highly suggest doing some fun short-term memory games. Your short-term memory is like a muscle that really needs to be worked out or it can become weak like any other muscle. My favorite short term memory game right now is called Dual N-Back (Brain N-Back on Android). It's a little tough at first but you get the hang of it pretty quickly.

http://brainworkshop.sourceforge.net

http://www.soakyourhead.com/dual-n-back.aspx

There have been many studies that show statistically significant improvements in their subjects working memory. I do my best to play once or twice a day on my smart phone. Takes no more than 3-5 min to play one game and you should see significant improvements in a few days.

> Being a student just sucked out all the pleasure out of learning/studying for me.

I do think this has been a huge problem for several years, and the system is at fault here. I have a dream that one day, something about our educational system changes. When you realize that I guess you'll be able to relax more. Also remember to take time to breathe and meditate even for just a few minutes a day. I highly recommend Headspace for this.

I understand how you feel. Humans aren't mean to be in a routine. The slower we move, the faster we die.

Trust me, you don't want to wake up at 60 years old and realize that your life was full of could haves, almosts and maybes.

Here's what I would do if I were you. I'll try to make it as analytical as possible.

Make a budget for your travelling. I'd say 1,000-3,000$ should be more than enough.

https://www.kayak.com/explore/

Pick the cheapest one that's still moderately far away from you. Then pick another one. Then another one.

Clean up your apartment and list it for rent while you're travelling. Take a small backpack only with the essentials. And go. Fucking LIVE. Even if you only go for a week, or 2, or 3.

You will feel so much better and you will actually be able to think clearly about what to do next.

Best of luck, friend.

> I've picked up the guitar 2 years ago but I hate everything I play. I get NOTHING out. I put everything in NOTHING OUT. I try as hard as I fucking can IM FUCKING TRYING.

Not even a single song? This was my first full song learned. It's basically two chords for the majority of the song. Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's
http://www.songsterr.com/a/wsa/plain-white-t-s-hey-there-delilah-tab-s133t0

> Why is everybody so fucking happy and why am I so.. nothing.

Everyone is struggling. You don't know if they're keeping up a facade to be more social, I suppose.

Failing Physics is normal. Not kidding most schools curve the fuck out of Physics. I believe a 60-65 was a C minus in my school, but of course every school is different.

Now as far as stress, that's a very universal thing. Think about if you wanna drop out over the summer. I had a shit summer job which made me KNOW fuck that I'm staying in college. But everybody has their own experience.

Now before you fail out they'll put you on academic probation. Nothing major just serves as a warning, and if you DO have tho take the classes over Physics makes more sense the second time around. if not go to http://www.Khanacademy.org scroll down to Physics.

Don't quit w/ 1 bad semester though, now if you feel college is unbearable then drop out; it's definitely not for everyone. And you can always go back.

Thank you for the recommendations. I've been thinking about getting a self-help book but never knew what to start off. I will take a look into the three that you mentioned... That last one seems to be the basis of a Mindfulness Meditation practice I started undergoing: link. The idea in mindfulness meditation is to notice, accept and internalize when you "stray off" into disorder, prior to coming back to your center. Essentially, you're learning how to become cognizant of your own emotions and (perhaps self-destructive) thought patterns. It helped immensely in the couple of weeks I tried it... but then I stopped... and I've been meaning to continue the practice. It's the only thing that has seemed to work so far for me. Do you know of another way to practice ACT outside from a book, i.e. do help classes exist? I really like being able to talk to people.

Yeah, it doesn't work for everyone! It doesn't work for me all the time, but some days its just enough to get me to shower and eat.

If you are looking for that sort of online/phone things to try I've also heard about https://habitica.com/static/front (its kinda like a video game), the fabulous (app), MoodTools (app), and Pacifica (app). I've never tried them myself, but I hear they work for some people. Hope some of those help!

It's not really a book about depression, but The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg was a game changer for me. It helped me to form solid routines for exercising, keeping a journal, and just taking better care of myself in general. I find that taking all those little steps each day made a huge difference in my life as a whole.

This is something I refer to as existential depression, or the depression concerning the nature of being. Kind of a chronic condition where I question "why" to the way things are. They're kind of loaded questions, I guess, but they perpetuate my thinking, and so I ask them anyway: "Why do I have to work 40 hours a week to survive?", "Why aren't girls attracted to unconfident people?", "Why can't I achieve the clarity of an alcohol-induced state in my sober life?"...

I'm currently reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, which I find is really putting my concerns into perspective. It is helping, at least to compare myself higher than concentration camp existence and having to find meaning there.

I think it's both..my depression is mental illness and my natural reaction to life. I tend to be pessismistic..that's my natural reaction but it isn't helpful and the intensity of the sadness makes it depression as opposed to so-called ordinary sadness. I've found CBT/Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helpful to change my thinking patterns and I'd recommend the following books:

• Feeling Good by David Burns
• The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns
• Mind Over Mood by Denis Greenerger and Christine Padesky
• The Dialectical Behavioral Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Bantley et al.

I also like the website Students Against Depression www.studentsagainstdepression.org

You are absolutely right...Check out a book called "Learned Optimism"...try and think about the source of your depression...do you have "major depression" (which tends to cease after a while) or "dysthymia" (aka "mild depression", which is horribly misleading, since it is actually horrible because it doesn't ever go away, hence also being known as "persistent depressive disorder")?

I have dysthymia, self-diagnosed, and it's fucking terrible. I'm having a good moment right now, but this morning and last night I was at my wits end...A smile from a woman brought me back for a little bit...that book Learned Optimism is very helpful. But I have to admit, when I was a teenager and in my early 20's, I read these self-help books and they couldn't make a dent in the dysthymia. Now that I'm older it seems to help a little bit.

I'm trying to learn to think like an optimistic person. It's better for you...so why not try? The fucked up truth is that dysthymics actually see the world more rationally. (Major depressives tend to be seeing things incorrectly just like really optimistic happy people, only on the other side of things, obviously.)

IDK man, but I'm here if you want to talk. I want to talk.

Hey, you're allowed to bring people down btw. I'm not saying to dump on someone until you ruin their life, but telling someone honestly how you feel is ok. Asking for them to spend some time and energy on you is okay, as long as you know that they have to protect themselves from being overwhelmed.

And you'll get there. Slowly, a bit at a time, you'll tell people. You're already on your way.

A good first step that helped me was putting my problems first. Telling myself that it was ok to put my academic career, my relationships, my achievement goals, etc. on the back burner in order to find what would make me happy and okay really helped. And the rest of it was all little tips like "if you can't get out of bed, do it one toe at a time. Every toe you get out of bed is a victory" and learning to meditate. Thich Nhat Hanh's book The Miracle of Mindfulness changed my life. Especially because you have such a range of emotions, you might like it.

If one of the things that you do to distract yourself from yourself is read (like me), these can help:

Emotional Chaos to Clarity by Phillip Moffitt (Mashup of modern psychology and Buddhism)

Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety by Robert Gerzon (a quote from the backcover: "Despite the array of effective psychotherapies and pharmacotherapies for anxiety disorders, persistent distress is more the rule than the exception. [His] inspiring book offers a new understanding and reframing of anxiety as a stimulus for growth and an opportunity to achieve wisdom." - Jerrold F. Rosenbaum, M.D., Associate Professor of Psychiatry Harvard Medical School and Chief, Clinical Psychopharmacology Unit, Massachusetts General Hospital This one uses language that is Christian and New Age friendly but has really good lessons.

Surviving America's Depression Epidemic by Bruce Levine (This one has a lot more about America's culture and pharmaceuticals in general. Super valuable.)

Waking Up by Sam Harris https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/chapter-one

Here's a few off the top of my head.

Self-help / Spirituality / Philosophy:

• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
• Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Fiction:

• Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
• The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
• The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon

Non-fiction:

• The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
• The Beginning and The End by Isaac Asimov

These are sort of random, but they've had a good impact on my perception. Some days, when all I can do is lay in bed, I'll pick up a novel. I want to get back into reading more, anyway.

The problem with self-help books is that they have such a huge range on the spectrum of usefulness to complete and utter garbage. One that I've found interesting and helpful that really centers on the concept of "awareness" is called "Full Catastrophe Living" by Job Kabat-Zinn. It's a thick read and I'm only 2/3rds of the way through it so far.

In my opinion, I think that this quote is apt here..

“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

You've been aiming at the prize all this while. Its not always about the prize my friend. Sure, going to the Googloplex is awesome and a Nexus etc. are nice to have. Yet, if you're doing it for the prizes and not for the competition itself, I think maybe that's why you haven't won yet..

Don't ever give up.. take that one last shot =) Its not about winning or losing. Its about taking the shot. GO FOR IT =D And remember.. even if you didn't get anything, you understood something far greater than a prize could ever give. Trust me.. Winning isn't everything in life. Overrated..

I got over it eventually but the hard truth is that it took a lot of effort. I basically cut out the toxic parts of my life (complaining, video games, not seeing friends, not exercising, imageboards). It can get better by itself sometimes too. The brain is a machine, remember. Emotions are chemicals or electrical signals.

Results may vary but I found that reading is the thing that helped the most. I suggest taking at least an hour in the evening to read something but don't use a screen or tablet! The reason it helps is that the more you learn about the world the more your own problems don't seem that important. I would recommend reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, it changed my perspective on life a lot and it's highly likely to be available in your native language.

I've also tried helping other people and thinking about my own needs less. It feels good and takes your mind off your own stuff.

tl;dr you can win over depression but you need to create the right conditions in your life for it. good luck!

I think you're heavily browsing social media to try and replace the really meaningful stuff you know you should be doing (everyone deep down knows what those things are, don't lie to yourself), and since you deep down know this, it ends up making you feel worse and worse. The human brain also likes to get stuck in patterns, if you constantly check fb it's now on auto-pilot.

Tony Robbins says that if you don't consciously direct your brain's focus it will naturally go one of two things:

1) Anything that can lead to something bad in the future (worrying), regardless of whether you can control it or not.

2) Anything that can make you feel good temporarily (overeating, drugs, distractions, in your case social media)

In "The War of Art", Steven Pressfield says that when you don't pursue your heart's calling, your life is governed by addiction. You do things that feel good short-term to escape, but end up feeling worse and worse because of this (exactly what you describe).

So, don't try and not browse social media by using will-power, that will never work. Instead, start doing the things you have been avoiding, and you will naturally see you've stopped. Unfortunately, much easier said than done, due to fear.

I find that I go into a depressive state because of my negative thoughts. The negative thought train begins because it's so engrained into my brain (because of last traumas); it is the easier route to go so positive thinking becomes harder. What I've been doing lately is reading more about mindfulness (e.g. the current book I'm reading is Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, there are a lot out there). These thousands of years old books may be old but their wisdom still pertains today. I've found that forcing myself to thinking positively has gained a lot of momentum and I can do it a lot easier now. Although, thinking positively 24/7 is still work for me and I tend to drain my willpower every few days; but it builds back up faster than before. External events don't cause our feelings, our reaction and views on those events cause our feelings. That is a great fact because it means we can train our brain to make these positive thoughts the natural reaction instead of negative. This is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy (alter your cognition's aka thoughts, and alter your behaviour to more healthy ones), so I would suggest reading up on that and trying to find private of grouped CBT. There are a lot of resources online. I have BPD so I also am learning dialectical behavioral therapy, but I've found that the concepts in DBT basically apply to any mood disorder. I would check out Debbie corso's blog called healing from BPD (I think, just Google her name) for a lot of amazing articles and YouTube videos. They are directed towards BPD (some more so, some less) but the lessons apply to anyone (e.g. radical acceptance, black and white thinking). I can also attest that a good sleep schedule and good sleep hygiene is one of the most important things, although I'm still working on it.

This is awesome. Having a project and/or something to take care of can do wonders. As Viktor Frankl says in Man's Search for Meaning, “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” Focusing on what we can do for others can do much more for depression than ruminating on one's purpose in life.

I would love to get a pet to take care of but I can't. Instead, I suddenly discovered a love for succulents. I think a vegetable/herb garden would be great too.

Two books that have helped me immensely with my own existential nihilism:

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Feeling Good by David D. Burns

In Man's Search for Meaning, he describes his experience surviving the Nazi death camps like Auschwitz and others. Through the loss of everything but his mind, Frankl finds he still retains the power of choice in how he interprets events in his life and how he will react to them. Essentially, he found that he had to define his own meaning of life, and he goes on to establish a branch of psychology he terms "logotherapy". I carry this book with me all the time.

Feeling Good is a manual for applying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to your own life, without need for a therapist. This is based on a massive amount of research, scientific inquiry, and patient success. It gives you tools to interpret reality and, for me anyway, find meaning in it.

I still feel that there is no inherent meaning to life, and I'm already at peace with death, but given that I feel like I might as well try a bunch of things out in case I find a meaning that resonates.

Oh... As to hating yourself... I was seriously damaged by that too. The book, "Learned Optimism" really helped. I got it from a friend who gave me the crash course. It is by a CBT expert. Please try that.

(hug)

Wow...you sound like me right when I graduated high school before going to college.

I'm not great at advice so take this as you will.

Security is an illusion - you will never be totally secure. The thing that's gonna screw you up the most is the thing that's gonna blindside you at noon on a Tuesday...not the things you've been worrying yourself into hell over. All you can really do is let it go...you're gonna cripple yourself (and your body through an out-of-control flight-or-flight-response chemical bath) if you remain in a constant state of worry.

Learn to stop that constant head chatter...learn about mindfulness (zen Buddhism particularly) to stop that racket. You don't have to follow the religion, but skim the psychological parts of it (mostly meditation).

If you don't like the intellectual route exercise your ass off...and at the very very very end of laziness spectrum smoke pot (but avoid booze).

Most importantly realize that you control this life. Sometime you might feel like you are on the receiving end of things but you, ultimately, are the one who decides how you feel about life...how you are going to let it affect you. Read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl to learn about perseverance in the face of the Holocaust.

...as for your friends that sounds like trite social BS...your friends stand by you period. If no one has your back, time to move your back.

...or ignore this advice completely ^_^ BUT DO SOMETHING...if you don't you'll find yourself posting this here again in a few years. Cheers!

You sound just like me, and I was diagnosed with depression. Prescription drugs help a lot of people, but they haven't helped me at all (although I've only tried Wellbutrin and Paxil - the former wasn't noticeable, and I felt the latter to be a severe detriment). What has helped me (immensely, I might add) was a change in lifestyle, and a firm understanding of my incongruous emotions. Counseling is the primary catalyst, but I've also come across a great book: The Feeling Good Handbook. Sans counseling, I've found this to be the best thing out there (but be sure to do the "exercises"). I'm sure there are other good books, though, so it's good to shop around.

> I feel like this isn't depression because I don't have much of a reason to be.

Depression is not normally associated with an event, as far as I know. My life also seems to be pretty good, without any abnormal trauma that I remember. I just have a tendency to feel down. Actually, I think the more difficulty you have in figuring out why you're not happy, the more likely you are to be depressed. For example, the death of a relative is an obvious cause for being sad. This is natural, and so long as you associate your sadness with that death, it's bound to improve over time. On the other hand, if you're feeling down for no apparent reason it's often much more difficult to pull yourself out of it. To me, that's depression.

Reading self-help, getting counseling, or even taking meds might all seem drastic, but no one has to know that you're going through it. The harder you attack the problem the faster it will subside. Don't let it linger.

Well, dude, it's like this: the story of your life has to start sometime and only you are in control of the pen. Nothing else; no school, no parents, no gigantic vaginas, no America, no nothing, man, determines where you go and what you do. That's the secret: if you simply will things to happen and work to support that will, things will happen one way or another. You won't know how until you try.

A lot of easy talk, no? Well, try this: read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. His character ends up a little like you, but with a real medical problem. Go for it! Reading is something you can do in your bunker and this book will cause you to understand the world around you in a slightly different shade of gray, which should lead you to understand that there exist more shades of gray than we have time in our lives to individually discover. You have no business, really, rejecting the world out there because what exactly do you know about it?

You seem like the kind of person who is interested in things. Go out and find some interesting things in the world. Record what you find somehow, or something along those lines. "He sat in his bed" is not the kind of story anyone's interested in hearing, right? That story doesn't even interest you. Get out there! Make something happen! Do something fun, and if there's nothing fun about where you are, go somewhere else. Animation is the enemy of stasis, my friend.

There's the government site healthcare.gov to shop for insurance though it's hard to get in right now unless you have specific circumstances because the enrollment period is closed at the moment. Depending on your income level you could qualify for Medicaid (or Medicare if you qualify by age) or other forms of financial assistance to help with the costs. You can check whether you qualify by following the instructions on the official sites.

If you can't get insurance you could try paying out of pocket per appointment and mentioning to providers (who offer the services) if they could use a sliding scale fee or discounts for you to be able to pay depending on how much you can spend.

You can try finding providers or lower cost treatment services through the links provided here though it's up to you to vet what would and would not be suitable for you:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SeriousConversation/wiki/resources#wiki_finding_treatment

Additionally I would check out your state's health department website and follow the links or use Google to find local providers if the insurance thing doesn't pan out (they give you their own provider directory you have to choose from).

I have the same problem, but I started setting those high expectations because of my family. I haven't yet sorted out my problems so I don't have the best advice of all time, but I think if you set goals without telling others, that would work. I watched this TED Talk and I think it's enlightening.

I feel for me, I keep telling others my goals and what I plan for the future a lot and that makes me feel like I've already done it in a way so I end up not actually pursuing it so I get depressed because I feel worthless... I think what I need to do is focus on actually pursuing my goals instead of getting validation from others that it is actually worthwhile. But that's just me...

This reminded me of an article I read on author Charles Bukowski:

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http://www.openculture.com/2012/05/charles_bukowsk_on_depression.html

Singing definitely works for me. I can't feel bad when I'm singing. I got bored of video games though, I wish I could enjoy those like I used to, but I just get bored of them 30 minutes in. I definitely feel most of what you posted (vaping what tho? lol)!

Anyway, I've been keeping myself busy doing some courses on Coursera. The great thing is they have financial aid so you can get actual certificates for the work you put in if you can't afford it. Right now I'm doing the Data Science specialization offered by Johns Hopkins University and I just finished the first two courses! I don't really care if it's going to be worth anything career-wise or whatever, it's still nice to learn something new anyways and since it's free but you can earn a certificate there's just the right amount of pressure that makes it work for me.

In my own experience depression and anxiety are 'over-thinking'. Best advice I can give is to fake till you make it. While doing that learning about depression and anxiety can give a fresh look on things. These audiobooks helped me a lot, I hope they help you to. http://www.filedropper.com/depressionaudiobooks

Don't move out if you know you gonna do worse. That's for sure. But also, keep in mind that your parents aren't gonna be around forever so at one point or another you will have to learn how to be completely on your own and earlier you start doing that better the outcome will be.

Meanwhile, start working on your social and communication skills and building social life while still living at parents place. It's not that hard. Take meetup.com and go through events there according to your interests, hopefully, some event will come up near where you live. Register to the event and go. If you don't wanna talk much, observe others first and learn. Good luck!

I am depressed myself. Life is bringing us challenges, we either overcome them or give up. The only truth is, for overcoming them we need to adapt, be flexible and able to incorporate changes. That takes huge efforts, but nothing comes easy. That's the only way to live. With practice, it's gonna get easier.

I feel your struggle - it's really hard when the professional self you have to present to other people makes you neglect the things you really want and that make you happy.

When I was in a similar position of having to think about what my identity was I wrote a list of my hobbies with headings of "outdoor" and "indoor". The list has the types of things I used to do as well as things I want to learn in the future.

I also really like reading through my old notebooks to see the person I was from a few years ago.

Saying things like "I don't want to see myself ... I only see a monster" is because you're hurting from your empathy and good nature of thinking of others and presenting yourself to them to your expectations of how they want to see you.

Finding out who you are takes work. Don't feel obligated to spend time with people who make you feel uncomfortable. There are websites like meetup.com to find people with similar interests. If you end up making that list of hobbies, you can search for active interest groups around you.

Five reasons why you should live (I don't know you, but I'm going to give it a shot).

1. I'm pretty sure they're making The Perks of Being a Wallflower into a movie. It could be awesome. I'm looking forward to this and you should too.
2. The world may suck but there are some pretty awesome people in it.
3. Anxiety is beatable.
4. Your heart may be broken but there are people out there who need you. You may have not found them yet, but when you do, you will know. Their existence and company will make you thankful to be alive. And who knows, perhaps they will feel the reverse about you. Your life is what makes someone else's life worthwhile. Hang in there.
5. There are far more losers in this world than cool people. We need to stick together, before the reverse happens. DON'T LET OUR KIND DIE OUT!!!

In this TED talk the speaker explains how having it worse still ultimately leads to about the same level of happiness, because our brains only respond to relative changes in our circumstances. http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

Kurt Vonnegut did for many years... and he died falling down stairs aged 85. He never even got cancer! They cheated him.

A total dude here responding, I had to tell you that because what I'm going to suggest, despite it's reputation to be more of a chick book (an Oprah book club suggestion) it really has a universal message and it can pull you out of that rut, but only if you're ready -- sounds like you might be ready. If you have Amazon Prime or Netflix, it's a free rental, so you can go hug your couch and watch it on your phone, Apple TV or Roku. The Secret (https://www.netflix.com/title/70063484)

My favorite take away quote: "Often times you give others the opportunity to create your happiness, and many times they failed to create it the way you want it, why? Because only one person can be in charge of your dreams, your beliefs and that's you. Your joy lies within you"

Okay now I have to go hunting ti, or chop some wood, or off road mudding.

> Depression is more like an illness that really demands the same sort of recognition that "traditional" diseases do

You're absolutely right.

> It's not a matter of glorification, because that word denotes an upbeat, positive connotation that is to be striven for.

To be honest, I always hear the word glorification used in a negative way, as in 'glorification of suicide', 'glorification of drug use' etc. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/glorification - "To cause to be or seem more glorious or excellent than is actually the case". That's pretty much all I see here.

Howdy. Here is an article I found which should help you a lot.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4539933_stop-taking-lexapro.html

Please don't hesitate to write if you need anything, and for that matter, please be careful. Seems this Lexipro is hardcore.

I feel like I can rreally identify with you. Comfortable life everything looks sweet from the outside and my only responsibility is school and I managed to f that up.

Now take this low point and really really look at what you want to go to college for. I just did this and was failing classes last semester, didnt want to get out of bed, didnt try homework... etc

But now I'm changing majors and getting into different classes that I think I will like better. Since the start of the year I feel like I have control of my life.

You can too. Dont take your parents love for granted. I didnt use my parents help until I actually got back in their house for christmas break. They have no idea I am battleing depression (it really is a battle). But they still will help me no matter what even if i dont seek out their help. Im sure your parents love you and only want you to be happy and succeed!

Decide what you wanna do weather its a fire fighter or an engineer do it and get your grades up! You can!

I didn't know about photosensitive SLE. You taught me something new.

It is not fair that you are being denied the medical care you need. The therapists job is to treat people who are sick. It makes me sad to hear they aren't doing this. I've been thinking about your situation today, wondering if this is covered under a disability law. I'm happy to see you updated your post with the same thought.

You shouldn't have difficulty finding a therapist to provide a safe environment for your treatment. A simple note from the doctor explaining the situation should be all you ever need.

I hate that you had to explain yourself. You shouldn't have to plead for accommodations and the supervisor should know better. They should help you with whatever you need.

Let us know how it goes. I think you have the right idea to reach out to a large organization for their opinion.

https://www.google.com/search?q=lupus+foundation

>People have forfeited all the luxuries they currently have in exchange for a life with someone they love and sometimes to raise a family.

Somewhere around 50% of the people who post here seek relationship help. Their SO lied, cheated, abandoned ... the list goes on. A relationship is not necessarily the answer and if you are vulnerable now, you might likely be very vulnerable after a failed relationship. I think you are on to something though -- the grass is always greener.

We always want what we do not have and we always look for in others what we lack in ourselves.

When you see happy, successful couples understand that for many it is just a facade; the trophy wife is drinking Chardonnay all day numb her regrets and the husband might be doing hits of coke in the office restroom all day long. It happens. A lot.

The only real answer is to reduce desire. Imagine if your desires were zero. Anything and everything would be an amazing gift. "Stop and smell the roses" sounds cliche' but with zero desires, the smell of a rose would probably be a pretty awesome event.

In this very same reddit there is a post called The secret of happiness: lower your expectations! (TED talk, 20 min, but worth it if you've got the time). I haven't watched it yet but your post reminds me that I probably should.

hi, are you able to do physical activity with/without pain? i am asking cause you mentioned it first. if i may ask- whats the name of the diseas?

try this. there are some universities which upload alot of lectures. if u r not able to go to school- get your school home on your screen. just an idea. i wish you all the best

You must have SAD. SAD I have it and it hitting hard this year with it staying cold and cloudy this year. I really don’t know how to help you because I don’t know how to help myself sorry.

Discipline isn't my strong suit haha but I'm trying to improve! Two of my daily tasks is a short moment of contemplation (after I wake up and before I go to bed) during which I either do a mindfulness exercise (such as meditation on breath) or a Stoic exercise (e.g. view from above, negative visualization, ...). I made a list of about 10 exercises and choose whichever I like best at the moment. During my morning contemplation I also review my todo list to prepare for my day (even if it's just something like "buy bread"). By doing this on a daily basis I introduce some discipline into my life and the exercises only take a couple of minutes.

So yeah, start small, slowly build up a routine that works for you. Incorporate activities that cultivate happiness (call a friend, smile at a stranger, etc). And if things get too hard go back a few steps until you again find something that works. There's no shame in it if you need a day to rest. Maybe my way is a bit strict but I do believe that recovery is a process and some structure can help a long way.

Anyway, that's what seems to work for me. Hope any of this helps.

I do. I still have a mother that cares for me. I won't be ending my time now, no, but if I ever come to a point where the stress becomes overburdening, and it's just not worth continuing my role as me in this game of life, then in that moment, I will go. But that's not today. And also, I know my death will destroy my mom, so it's good that I stay.. But, I'm not obligated to her. Just because I was given awareness doesn't mean that I have to slave away, just to please those around me. It's selfish of others to think that way, it's not selfish of me to want to check out. I was given the freedom of choice the moment I was born. Look at the website below. http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

As of right now, at 3:23 PM, there have been almost 102,000 deaths in the world. and 300,000 births.

People come and go all the time. A life story ending, and another being, being born with a blank slate, everyday. Suicide is as natural as death in old age. We all go sometime.

Now, I don't advocate for it. I'm just pro-choice.

I wish that your mother could understand your suffering, but not many people are That open minded.

This is why I will most likely not have kids in the future unless I'm in a good place mentally, and am stable in wealth, because I see so many parents pop out kids when they aren't ready to raise a human. And it's bad, because the kid didn't ask to be born into shitty circumstances. And then they wonder why their child is depressed.

Maybe the library? Go and find yourself a random book to read! Or learn a new language! Duolingo is free and it'll teach you how to read write and speak a new language. That's the great thing about being creative! You don't need much to start! Just a pen and some paper to doodle on :)

>happily go to bed and never wake :/

That sounds like me :\

I think one of the problems is that many people do not understand depression openly. There are so many factors that go into it. I'm not saying that I know what everyone's individual situation is, because we're all different. There are times when I hate myself and there are times when I don't, but I'm almost always depressed. Sometimes I think it is because of the country I live in (America), or genetics, or the way I was treated in high school (many many years ago, and it still affects me). Many people seem so mentally strong that I just get angry at them because I do not understand where that comes from and how I can get it, or if I even want it. Sometimes I think it might be a parasite living in my brain (toxoplasma). I don't know the reason, and I really wish I could help, but maybe you'll have some comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and that there is a great big world that doesn't involve emotion at all. (At least, for now, there is a free open internet that I can use to learn as much as I can from without fear of feeling too dumb, like Khan Academy) and communities like reddit where I can find others who feel similar. Hang in there... even though there is no way to know what is causing these feelings completely, there are ways to divert your attention and focus on other things, and maybe put those feelings off for a while.

Heavy nitpicking but if you host that on any of these, i'm in: https://alternativeto.net/software/google-forms/?license=opensource
Google already knows everything, no doubt but i don't fill out doc forms, in general.
Sorry for being like that, hope you get good results out of it!

Thats great news, and writing will come in time, you have the charater so just start putting things in Pluhs way: Maybe a big hat, a waist high wall, a Mirror? Just think about how Pluh would interact with everyday situations, events, and people and you will find its very easy to write.

I also want to link this to you It's called Zen Comics and the artist is great for motivational quotes You might look at this and think "Wow i wish I was that good" but let me tell you - You are.

I've only just meet Pluh but I can already imagine the kids TV Show and plushies and all the things that can come from doodles. You have started and I dont pretend to know your circumstances but I really hope you keep it up.

Advice wise I would look into opening a Patreon account it might allow you to get a little money from the project before ad revenue starts up

Happy birthday!

I made you a virtual birthday card because your birthday deserves to be celebrated! :)

https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/313338486/

> I try to sleep more so time passes

I don't think this ever really helps, it mostly exacerbates periods of depression, as much as one could conclude, based on say, physical ailments, rest might help heal depression.

But, at least in my experience, it doesn't really work that way with depression.

Here's an idea, as I'd read you'd recently gotten out of the routine of school. Set alarms for daily activities, and do them. Even super simple stuff like

• 10 am Get up and eat breakfast
• 11 am Take a shower
• 12 pm Masturbation break
• 12:30 pm Lunch
• 1:30 pm Clean up some stuff around my room/house/car
• 3 pm Pursue an interest of mine that I want to turn into a career
• 4 pm That's for you to decide, but decide something
• etc

Staying active during the day will help you get more restful sleep, at the very least.

I would also recommend checking out installing f.lux on your PC/mac and twilight if you have an android phone. They change the color temperature of your screens after sundown to make them less bright-ish and make your brain not feel like it's constantly exposed to sunlight, which helps your brain produce more melatonin, which triggers your brain to say, well, fuck, I'm tired, and helps get you into more restful REM sleep more quickly.

Best of luck /u/Throwaway3049234

Sounds like depression to me, though some people get on antidepressants and while their sad mood lifts they (me, let's be honest) still don't get a whole lot of joy out of life. Have you done any reading on existentialism?

The thing about reddit is that it requires a lot of people to vote on the content, making it a lot harder for people to market their things on reddit. Though spammers still try. This in turn creates a cat and mouse game between reddit and marketers. For instance, if you create multiple accounts and vote on your own posts this does nothing for your votes, BUT it will look like it does something for your votes in order to fool people. There are many other factors that come in to play. For every new technique the reddit algorithm is altered to prevent spam. This is a never ending struggle. Though something redditors fear is that these hidden spammers become influential within reddit in order to negate any rules put in place against them, effectively destroying the community from within. This is a real fear and it has happened to similar sites (like Digg, whose algorithm has now been modified to a more profitable one which prefers content from sites that pay. Digg used to have hundreds or thousands of comments on front page stories. Now the average is 10 comments. The website is doing ok and making money, but the change effectively killed their community.)

I don't have much to say besides I have been in a similar situation. It may not do much now but doesn't hurt to try: do you know if the hospital you were admitted to was a Catholic (or any other denomination) hospital? Many have special funds for people in need.

Collections: call them asap (also write down whom you speak with, when, and what about) and ask/demand to have a payment system set up (even if it's only like $50/month). It may take awhile. In the mean time see if you qualify for health insurance. There may be other services in your area that can help.

https://www.healthcare.gov/

They basically streamlined the healthcare market place so that you can find income based coverage. Medicade qualification also starts there. if you do get private healthcare (i.e. Blue Cross Blue Shield, make sure your deductible is low enough to kick in coverage; or if the plan has the type of medical coverage you need(therapy, psychiatry).

You can also call up the insurance company directly and ask them if those services can be covered.

Below is your state medicade website. It has some info and guidelines about eligibility and enrollment. You can probably find more about ofices in your area.

http://www.medicaid.gov/Medicaid-CHIP-Program-Information/By-State/texas.html

I hope that helps.

Hi, just woke up. I don't live in the US as you've probably guessed (I'm German). I don't know how these things work over there. Didn't it become easier to get insurance or at least some support if you're unemployed with those Obamacare laws?

I just tried to get some information and it seems you could possibly get insurance or direct support even with a preexisting condition and no income. Have you checked out https://www.healthcare.gov ? Check especially if you are eligible for Medicaid and what kind of mental health services are covered by Medicaid in your state.

If I understand you correctly you would like to get professional help if you could? Is there anybody in your life who you could ask to help you organize something? I was lucky enough to get support from my brother when I wanted help but was too fucked up to do anything about it. Another person can help out a lot just getting things started.

Youtube can provide a good lot of meditation music, guided meditation and relaxation videos. You can also find white noise generators over the internet, if they help you relax. RainyMood is one of my personal favourites.