What are /r/genderqueer's favorite Products & Services?

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Obligatory Android link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=de.lilithwittmann.voicepitchanalyzer

I cannot guarantee the same dev wrote this app; but it should be mostly similar in function and usage. (With appropriate UX changes for Android) This app very likely has No Ads according to GPlay & the Exodus report

Exodus report: https://reports.exodus-privacy.eu.org/en/reports/21883/

1 tracker, one notable permission; (Microphone, this app does exactly what it says on the tin)

I like skater skirts, and for modestly, I wear black tights or leggings underneath. This is one that I like, but you might be looking for something else. It really depends on what you are looking for.

I agree with absolutely every word of this post (except that luckily I've never been blatantly taunted like that in real life).

I don't have a solution. But something that might at least help as an educational tool or just something to make you feel less isolated is this comic by Melanie Gillman. It's a short minicomic about their struggles with coming out as genderqueer and I empathized with it a lot. In a few parts it addresses issues of invalidation like you describe. It's also very sweet and relatable in general. $5 but well worth it.

I'm going to plug evernote as a way to gather documentation in one place. It syncs across platforms and you can use it anywhere.

I haven't done much in the way of deliberate documentation, but I think my first task would probably be to gather what I've written in forums and emails to see if a natural process is already in place.

I really recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Wrong-Bathroom-Misconceptions-Gender-Nonconforming/dp/0807033898

It breaks down a lot of the myths about being trans and/or nonbinary - like that you need to want to change your body - in super approachable ways. Both of the authors are trans and at least one is non-binary and genderqueer. It's a great place to start as you define your gender for yourself!

yea the patterned leggings are super cute. I like the the patterns and fuzzy appearance of women's winter clothes, but right now I am avoiding anything overtly feminine. so sticking to regular solid color boring leggings. I actually want to get some of those "fur" lined leggings but seems online the only ones I find are from no name brands on amazon all made in china, based on the reviews they are numerous complaints of poor quality, inconsistent quality and sizing issues. I specifically like this one, because the other ones have seams along the crotch and look like underwear while this looks like its suitable for wearing outside of the house.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N3P57E1

The jeggings will be less subtle because of its decorative front pockets. speaking of, women's bottoms either have fake or tiny pockets ugh. But I want them for the skintight appearance guess I will just have to deal with it. that coat although super cute is just going to have to be out of the question for now. costs a bunch and I would probably die of embarrassment wearing it out in public. solid color leggings I can at least pretend are compression tights that men wear to exercise with. and women's jeans looks similar to men's jeans except its tighter. and I should probably stick to light blue (seems men's is mostly dark/navy blue) / gray/black/dark colors for the women's clothes. I really want some pink clothes though. women's tops I will probably have to try on each one individually due to the different sizes of men and women torsos mainly they are much shorter!. But bottoms seem to be less different besides lower waist lines and narrow cuffs. Just need to figure out the size and then I can shop away online when I see the sales!

I think I got really lucky, especially cause I bought one online. It's a zip-up crop top style which I find comfortable and is easier on my asmathic lungs than a full binder might have been. I bought a 3XL (XXX-L) for reference and here's the link from Amazon if you want to look at it. It's a decent price too which was also appealing haha

BaronHong Tomboy Trans Lesbian Middle Zipper Mesh Chest Binder Corset Plus Size Short Tank Top(Gray,3XL) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CTZC36L/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_17cdCbEEJNFY7

I bought this for a cruise. I have gotten more compliments on this than any other piece of clothing I ever owned. I own lots of cool clothes, one of a kind art pieces and beautifully designed custom pieces. This is a knockout. He can wear this at home and be confident and comfortable. It's a caftan and it is beautiful and will fit a tall person.

red Blue Color Block Bathing Suit... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09N8NWYX1?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I wore it as a robe and as a dress. I wore it to dinner, dancing and as a beach cover up.

There's a great book called ("You and Your Gender Identity")[https://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Gender-Identity-Discovery/dp/1510723056/ref=asc_df_1510723056/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312669563714&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6999945808775578435&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvd...] - def look it up at your library. It's helped me to determine the level at which my dysphoria sits. There are all kinds of questions to assist you in shaping your true thoughts about your gender. My therapist recommended it and it's helped me so much.

> Is this a good or bad thing?

It's not really "good" or "bad", it just is. How we interpret it and what we do with it is up to us. We can think of this card as a guide (what advice would it give you? What can you learn from it? Does its energy excite you? Scare you? Heal you?).

My sense is that for you it's something you needed to hear, and can help you navigate your gender identity (which sounds like a pretty positive thing!)

> I don't know anything of tarots but I'd love to learn

It's fun and it's been very helpful for me to explore my own queerness.

You can start over at /r/tarot or pick up a book that feels nice from your local library.

Queering the Tarot is an especially good book for queer people interested in tarot, but you can start basically anywhere.

The arcana: a mystic romance is a very queer story/romance game that's set in a magical/mystical world and uses a lot of tarot imagery. Very fun and romantic.

In case you wanted an idea, this is a shirt and pants I got on Amazon. I got the shirt in black and 1 or 2 sizes larger than my normal size, that way it wasn’t tight fitted but still had a more feminine shape

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01NBJDHGQ/ref=cm_cr_othr_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Gradual-Joggers-Pockets-Tapered-Sweatpants/dp/B081GWN61P/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=1JW9WMDZUGDE2&keywords=g+womens+sweatpants&qid=1655096608&sprefix=g+womens+sweat+pants%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-4

and that:

https://www.amazon.de/As-Nature-Made-Him-Raised/dp/0061120561/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?adgrpid=1245747223138787&hvadid=77859326564027&hvbmt=bb&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=116078&hvnetw=s&hvqmt=p&hvtargid=kwd-77859486567754%3Aloc-72&hyda...

> if you're feeling a certain way when you're around him, that feeling originates inside of you, not from outside sources

Can you say more about that?

My experience is that autistic people regularly mimic the people around us (to get by, socially) and this can be pretty confusing when it comes to figuring out who we actually are and what we actually like.

<strong>Source</strong>, see #5 on the list: "You might be an Aspie if you automatically mirror other people's voices and even their whole persona, so that you are not sure who you would be today if you had had different people around you." This resonates strongly with me. [EDIT: This is different from the thing that people with borderline do, where they feel empty inside. I don't feel empty at all, I just... find people really confusing, and I find that they treat you better and things go more smoothly when you act a little bit like they do.]

So, yeah, can you say more about that?

I appreciate the pep talk very much and particularly appreciate the reminder that the Western view of gender is not the only one and certainly not the best or most valid or accurate. Quite the contrary, I find the binary system to be profoundly restrictive and harmful.

I recently got these and super helpful! I didn't buy them specifically to tuck, I wanted them to help with my posture, lower back and hips and flat tummy, but a pleasant and welcome surprise was that best tuck ever! I'm in a similar boat, I can't get things up into the inaugural canal, so I usually just push everything down between my legs and put on a snug pair of panties, not a full on tuck just everything ~out of the way.~ With the waist trainer, not only did it press and shape things flatter, smoother, but it also held all day long. The absolute worst feeling in the world is being at work with a makeshift panty tuck and having one slip out of the gusset and dangle awkwardly down the inside of my thigh until I can get to a private area and re-tuck. With these, everything is tight and secure and flattened, there is no chance of escape!

just an FYI, if you're ever in a true bind there are a few products that replace sewing, to an extent. heat n bond makes a couple different iron-on hem adhesives (as well as several other types)

anyways, for your reference:

https://www.amazon.com/HeatnBond-Iron-Adhesive-Super-Weight/dp/B000XZVXNK

and

https://www.amazon.com/HeatnBond-UltraHold-Iron-Adhesive-Yards/dp/B001144X3E

P.S. -- read your other comments in the thread and saw where you said it was from amazon and just wanted to say that personally i've had bad luck buying skirts and dresses from there. prime wardrobe may alleviate this some, but they're quite limited on what items are available. i've recently found out about a store called ross - dress for less and have now purchased several great new clothing items for around $3 to $5 dollars per.

You and Your Gender Identity

My Gender Workbook

I rarely do, but they feel like moments of clarity where I can view my life from an area of freedom, without the real burdens weighing down on me. its kinda like being detached from life and able to view it without obligations and expectations.

They've ruined me too, but ruins can be rebuilt. I'm just saying that there is always hope to get out of financial ruts. I'm on the path to learn and maybe take up a menial job beneath my dignity while I learn. I'm not looking forward to it, just looking forward to what I create beyond it. Its easy to lose sight of my goals with depression

They've given me advice, such as doing the simple things that I don't think will work, which turns out they sometimes do. One thing was making a schedule, so that I can have a routine/ritual/whatever ya wanna call it. This sorta thing, if willing to openly try it without criticizing it, astounds me that it makes me feel better. TM or transcendental meditation, actually is amazing. And my therapist recommended this, i think there's a free trial, from which i plan to glean all the information and then quit before paying https://www.headspace.com/ I know it might seem hokey or worthless, but some say you get out what you put in. I think that its more like if you give yourself the chance, you may be amazed at how you'll react. There's more but I need to remember it, my memory is subpar

For the sake of this nice topic let's just pretend that "Doc & The Bastards/Mistress Helela & The Bastards" doesn't exist.

1. The Really Problematics
2. The usual, Vocals & Bass
3. Horrorpunk/Goregrind[1]
4. Porcelain on drums, Serena Fate on guitar

We're known for playing 30 minute sets the first 9 songs take half the time the last one is a 15 minute instrumental.

We do insist that this isn't free jazz, hehe.

[1] 'cause we can :p

I don't know what you're talking about because I totally get "effeminate male" from your aesthetic just in that pic. I think a lot of your problem is probably just overthinking/insecurity! But, you can consider any combination of these:

• A little eyeshadow/eyeliner
• Accessories like a necklace, slim bracelets, dangly earrings, scarves
• Accessories like thick/leather wrist straps, belts, etc.
• Gauges
• Chunky watch
• Fingernail polish
• Hair clips (example)

I would mix and match something like: neutral clothes, feminine accessories, masculine hair OR masculine clothes, masculine hair, feminine accessories.

Remember, change is hard. Humans are bad with it. Sometimes it just takes a little getting used to a new look to realize that you're rocking it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Womens-Strappy-Sleeveless-Ladies-Stretch/dp/B00KITT1QW/ref=mp_s_a_1_21?dchild=1&amp;keywords=crop%2Bcami%2Btop&amp;qid=1606621201&amp;sr=8-21&amp;th=1&amp;psc=1

Pretty sure this was the one

This book, The ABC's of LGBT+, is an excellent guide to most gender identities I've heard of. There are multiple models of gender present with discussions of their advantages and limitations. The book also features interviews with people that identify with various identities as well. Very comprehensive, and they will likely find something relatable in its pages.

It's best to convert sizes to inches and then measure your parts to see what might work best. Here is a guide on international sizes, and at its top there is a link to US sizes as well.

I've been dabbling with women's cloths for only a few months - not an expert however have learned some things. I'm a small or sometimes extra-small from the waist down, and an extra-large or even xx-L on top. I have broad shoulders so - there's a challenge involved.

I've found 'swing dresses' such as these fit very comfortably - having 'open' shoulders removes the size difficulty. Get one with a cinch belt if you want to try to lessen looking like a straight line. Throw a sports bra on underneath and - honestly I feel great in that ensemble. I probably look ridiculous - lol - however I *feel* great and that's what's important here.

Edit: I am 6'1", 170 pounds, and ordered a small of those swing dresses and it feels great.

Also, 'skater skirts' are very comfortable.

This is the one I have. I don’t technically have a measurement that fits in this bra ... I’m roughly a 40H. I ordered the size that fits a 40B because I wanted to be very compressed but fitting the band size is pretty important. It’s hard to put on but definitely compresses pretty well ... I would not recommend going that far below your actual size though (I don’t follow my own rules ...). Maybe go for the XL, which fits up to 40B, and see how that goes? Or go for your actual size and see if that works, I just definitely wanted significant compression which is why I went so small (it’s hard to put on, but doable at that size)

Definitely stretchy enough to accommodate sizing down, but again I can’t actually recommend that because it’s not really comfortable and probably not super good for you, but that’s what I’ve done.

Edit: it doesn’t have crazy patterns but does only come in black, so you might see it through thinner light colored shirts, but probably not lighter shirts in standard Tshirt material.

Also only $26!

A gaff, for sure. I found one on Amazon and I wear it almost every time I leave the house now. Very handy.

Little Timor Hiding Gaff Panty Shaping Pant For Crossdresser (M, Black)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06Y47VNN2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_udzyCb47G0J3F

I use an Underworks swim binder.

https://www.amazon.com/Underworks-Extreme-Compression-Bodysuit-Black-Black/dp/B00BGHG0PU/ref=asc_df_B00BGHG0PU/?tag=hyprod-20&amp;linkCode=df0&amp;hvadid=312070217177&amp;hvpos=1o1&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvrand=9457183973027720215&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvptwo...

I ordered briefs from amazon a few years back (Knocker brand). According to Amazon they're one size and 12.24 for a pack of 6 (comes out to about $2 per pair - seems reasonable to me!). The crotch area is a little roomy, but it doesn't bulge or anything. They're really soft and comfy, and have lasted, like a said, a few years.

Here's a link to the kind I bought.

Edit: I'm about a size 8 with a big ol booty and these are very stretchy.

I wear trunks they have like 2 inch inseam? just short enough to fit under most short shorts. Briefs are also an option.

I have these. They are nylon and CK brand so a bit pricey but sometimes they go for $12-15 on amazon, I have found them for $8 at Marshalls. They are incredibly soft and feel amazing. Even wearing skintight leggings nothing shows up. but that might be a case by case basis since my junk is not that big in the first place. Well I feel like those undies pouch area prevents any bits from being outlined. Trunks https://www.amazon.com/Calvin-Klein-Underwear-Trunks-Medium/dp/B000TGWFLC Briefs https://www.amazon.com/Calvin-Klein-Strength-Micro-Medium/dp/B015O3XNAQ/

I am shopping for summer clothes now. get tighter v neck or scoop neck tops that expose your chest have a hint of femininity. although if your a muscular dude it becomes masculine because it shows off your massive muscles lol. and shorts is the same, get tighter and shorter shorts that expose more leg. there's also shorts that are split which makes it more feminine. hell you could just wear men's running shorts and most people will assume its women shorts

Soffee mens running shorts are quite popular, design looks androgynous enough https://www.amazon.com/MJ-Soffe-Mens-Running-Short/dp/B003AU5W5K

Thanks!!

To be honest I just bought a random collection of nail polish off of amazon for cheap so I could toss it if it didn't come with any colors I liked. But it did, this lovely sky blue color. It's &quot;Set Sail 424&quot; by Sally Hansen.

It all depends on how 'business' youre forced to dress at work. Personally (I'm at a bank) like long tunic shirts with dress pants. I just got this one recently https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DUYW1AK/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&amp;psc=1 and can either dress 'up' or 'down' depending on my feelings that day. They're very baggy, that one especially and should hide a binder well

I read this last week. In short, you could try using Veet Sensitive. As with any product, test a tiny area before proceeding. Good luck!

Just thought of another one: there's a minor side character in one of the Dragon Age novels that's explicitly sometimes-male-sometimes-female. It might be a little hard to read as a stand-alone novel. I don't know if the world is explained in such a way as to make sense to people who haven't played the games. But it's not bad as far as video game tie-in novels go.

There's also two explicitly trans characters in the setting, if that's of interest.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FDQC8UQ

(I wear size medium / 8-10 and I'm 5'9 @ 125lb)

That's what I use. Just find a size that your legs will fit through and then pull up from the back. It keeps me tucked 24/7. I wear boyshorts on top of that for appearance and to provide a little more compression as well, but you could just go with two pairs of the briefs instead.

...well, kept me tucked, I guess, since I just had an orchiectomy lol

Here is a book you ought to pick up, if you can.

Here is another. Ivan and Rae also produce quite a lot of audio content; I can't recommend Ivan Coyote's storytelling enough.

Good luck.