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I was Navy for 6 years. The hardest part was the bulllshit meter constantly being pegged. The military was basically a corruption training academy. Absolutely overcharging out Satan's asshole for outdated simple devices that can better be replaced with something from Walmart. I'm talking $1800 for a touch tone phone made from radio shacks my first electronics kit and that's the tip of the iceberg.

Then they have the fucking nerve to bitch about El cheapo paper towel use because "costs". Fuck that.

You will see exactly why schools are closing and this country's infrastructure is dying. It's all going to contractors that have a revolving door culture with senior military.

Oil. The first thing we did when we got to the gulf was fly our entire airwing over the oil fields to say "we are here for you".

You will realize you are not saving people. There is no hill to take, no village to free from the oppressors. All though there are some good things we did and you will have your own personal wins and might save some lives, it wont be to make anyone anymore free.

You are a surrogate for some dickwad company to make more money.

I became far more jaded, cynical, and critical of others motives.

I got out. It was not healthy for me.

Survive. Do right to your suboridinates. Just remember sanity is priceless. Use the experience to grow and help where you can.

I would also suggest reading The Art of War. Keep a copy with you. It will help you understand how wrong we are doing things.

I recommend you read the top answer in this thread which was written by /u/ryans01, I call it the 'no more zero days' thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/

In addition, get yourself a copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius- a book of timeless advice on leading a good, effective life, regardless of circumstances.

I've been raised by toxic parents. A parent that denies their child love and denies their emotions most likely has mental issues. It's not normal and don't let anyone lie to you that it is.

From your experiences with them, I agree with you. They are most likely so.

Google gaslighting. It's a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser makes the victim question themselves to the point of the victim thinking they are insane.

I read a book that helped me identify whether or not my toxic parents were at fault or not.

I really hope yours aren't like mine, but if you want to be sure I'll give you the link to the book that helped me out:

https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Personalities-Profiler-Identify-Yourself-ebook/dp/B00K8DSRFE

If your parents are toxic then this book will help you find out and tell you what to do.

Good luck and stay safe.

Too many passions, not enough lifetimes. That's been my motto/excuse for why I've only completed two years of bachelors up until 27. I went from being interested in Philosophy & Psychology, to working in private sector, wanting out of private sector, wanting to pursue Interior Design, now wanting to return to uni and study Economics and Sociology.

The struggles of lateral thinkers, who see all the possibilities. A simpler mind may find bliss sooner.

Anyone identify with the term Multipotentiality?

I crave deep social interaction, but it's also uncomfortable at first; so unless I force myself into a routine where I am regularly around friends, I'll hole up somewhere and go into a downward spiral of being lazy, thinking too hard about myself, becoming critical of myself, feeling unfit for human companionship, and withdrawing even further from human companionship - and the cycle repeats itself.
I've found my own routine - I love to cook, so I'll make a point to invite a few friends over for dinner or dessert and board games once a week. I even have a time scheduled in my calendar to sit down, think about who I want to invite over, and text a few people. It makes a huge difference in my life and just this small weekly activity has

If I were single, I'll look at a few Meetup.com groups that interested me, and start attending things.

I've found the best remedy for hating myself is to learn to like another person and focus on them for awhile. You may feel down on yourself right now, but other people likely find you intriguing, intelligent, and able to connect with them on a much deeper level than other people. Just try to turn off that overactive self-monitor and become interested in the people around you - if you get to know someone else, get them talking, you can make them feel good about themselves, and they will like you in return.

So I actually had an experience regarding this topic recently. Rambling ahead.

Like you, I was really enamoured when I discovered I was INFJ. It was kind of surreal and this subreddit added to the feeling. I've done a lot of research and I felt that MBTI opened me up to people a lot more, without drawbacks.

It has had a lot of benefits! I'm more social these days, and I have a better appreciation of how different people are, and how we all are pieces of a larger puzzle. I'm also more interested in general psychology, I've better accepted myself, I have started learning/creating more, and just generally making better use of my time. Plus I've made great friends on this subreddit and gotten fantastic book recommendations (if you're wondering... Thinking, Fast and Slow by Kahneman is my current read, The Rhythm of Life by Kelly is up next).

That being said, I met a guy and (long story short), I made some negative assumptions about him (and our possible incompatibility) because he is an ISTP. He actually ended up finding a post I had made in r/istp and confronting me about it. Fuck I was embarrassed, but it taught me a good lesson and it ended up bringing us closer. He opened up and I apologized, retracted my assumptions, and opened up too! It was nice and healthy communication all around :)

All MBTI is good for is knowing your preferences, and your preference of functions. I love what it's done for my life, but I don't want to judge someone solely by their type again, especially negatively. I want to know the PERSON first and foremost.

Humans love labels. Our brains naturally categorize and simplify complex things. Humans brains are (arguably, by far) the most complex things we know of, so labels for people are nice. MBTI provides labels (just like LGBTQ+ terms provide labels). They should help but never hinder, and should always be taken with a grain of salt. Everyone is different and infinitely complex.

Edit: P.S. Welcome to the sub! :)

I've felt the same pattern my whole life. I chalk it up to S.A.D. - Seasonal Affective Disorder. Do some research to see if it rings any bells for you.

I bought this light on Amazon and surprisingly it helps when I'm working from home in the grey days of winter. After 30 minutes or so I feel a subtle giddy "who gives a fuck" feeling floating around my brain. Makes me jump up from my desk and do silly things around the house. Weird but whatevs. I've also started taking vitamin D supplements and try to get a few minutes of sun on my face whenever I can.

But it's spring now! My favorite time of year so yay Hope you find a way to feel better next winter.

I don't have a solution for you, but I would suggest reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It offers a lot of perspective and helps calm the anxiety that goes with being at a crossroads in life, like what you're describing.

This was a good podcast illuminating the differences between INFJs and ENFJs. Having had a relationship with an ENFJ I found it helpful to understand her motivations behind (some of) our conflicts.

https://castbox.fm/episode/Episode-027%3A-Are-you-an-INFJ-or-an-ENFJ--The-Best-Ways-to-Tell...-id1245558-id74897941?country=us

Ooo I love Instagram! It's great for finding inspiration, plus it's just fun. I post a lot of naturey stuff, as well as art, and whatever else strikes my fancy. https://www.instagram.com/periwyn/ is mine!

Fucking beautiful. You have a great talent in writing.

Eloquence aside, I feel the same way. There just aren't many intuitives around me. I actually just set up a session with a "life coach" who is INTP and it was actually great talking with her over the phone.

Maybe you could start a meetup group (meetup.com) for intuitives in your area. What part of the country you in? I'm west coast

Trance! Yes... often. :]

edit:bricks and mortar

more edit: Pink sunsets do that to me, and deserts, too...

even more edit: if you haven't seen the RainyMood before give it a go!

I think this has more to do with your anxiety rather than MBTI! First of all, sorry about what happened with your therapist. I can definitely recommend CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), it really helped me and it does engage your Ti in a way that is not destructive or negative. CBT makes you think logically about things that normally you wouldn't be able to. It brings you back to the present, in a way. You can get self help books and there are tons of resources online. These guides are also really good https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php :)

Best of luck for your interview!

You're not alone. This can be the darker side of INFJ life. Having trivial conversations does suck but we have to force ourselves through these so that we can get to the good stuff.

Its hard to make new friends. What I suggest and whats been (mostly) working for me, is getting involved in groups that I care about. Maybe you have a cause thats special to you or maybe you have something you're really interested in learning more about. Join meetup.com and find fellow travelers.

The positive side to our personality is that we make really great friends. We care a lot and put a lot into our relationships once we find that they're worthwhile. Also a thing to remember is that not everyone is perfect and not everyone will enjoy the same things we do, or be our intellectual match. Just try and find small things that you like about someone. Try and not be judgmental and just enjoy people for who they are, they might not be your soul mate friends that we're looking for, but I promise if you keep out there and stay true to yourself, you will find people like you.

I know its hard, I even made a post on here about making friends that are more like me the other day. I think what I was looking for was validation that other people feel the same way I do, and they do.

I agree with other poster who says to take the pressure of yourself. Start small and try to serve a cause you care about or your community. Get more involved in the things you love. Good luck sweetie and hang in there!

I recommend reading The Gift of Fear:

https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198

It's a an extremely useful book that taught me to rely more on my intuition.

In a real life case listed in the book, there was a mystery package sent to a company and the whole office huddled around it wondering what it was. One employee joked that it was probably a bomb and walked off kidding that he didn't want to get blown up if they open. A few moments later, another employee opens the box and the whole office explodes. The only survivor being of course the one employee who trusted their "gut" and left the area.

I highly, HIGHLY recommend Bob Burg's book "The Go-Giver". Here's a link to it on Amazon.

Yes, it was originally focused towards success in business but I listened to a talk by him where he talks about his 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success. Most of them are focused on the power of giving for the sake of it, rather than with the intention of receiving what we put out. Really helped put some things in perspective for me.

EDIT: One of the reviews on Amazon listed them out, but they are so much more powerful when you dive deeper into the meaning behind them:

1) The Law of Value: Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

2) The Law of Compensation: Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.

3) The Law of Influence: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.

4) The Law of Authenticity: The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.

5) The Law of Receptivity: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

Your acceptance of others should come naturally as you begin to accept yourself completely. YMMV, but once you can recognize and lower the standards you place on yourself, you should feel the same way towards others.

That being said there are a few things you can do like a Gratitude Journal where you would literally write down 3-5 things you appreciate every day with pen and paper. They should be different on a day-to-day basis, but you can also do it on Google Keep or apps like this.

I usually turn to Metta Meditation when I'm feeling particularly judgmental of others, as well as regular Mindfulness meditation to keep myself focused in the present. It might also help to unplug from social media like Facebook for a while as it creates a tendency to compare your life to others and bolster ones ego.

As an INFJ, it's natural to expect a lot from your partner, especially emotionally; if you can recognize that pull within yourself to need more and stay grounded then it should eventually pass. Good luck!

Good Bones BY MAGGIE SMITH Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative estimate, though I keep this from my children. For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird. For every loved child, a child broken, bagged, sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world is at least half terrible, and for every kind stranger, there is one who would break you, though I keep this from my children. I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor, walking you through a real shithole, chirps on about good bones: This place could be beautiful, right? You could make this place beautiful.

In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again. Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

TLDR: We live in the greatest time, with each passing minute we are closer than ever to the dream of the end of hunger and disease, there are warlords and corruption still prevalent in every human society, but we're getting closer every minute. History is romanticized, as a boy I dreamt of knights and gods that would save us, as a man I believe that "Us" will save us.

Man's Search for Meaning. I've just started it, but it started resonating in the first couple pages. My physical therapist recommended it to me, saying he read it several times after his dad passed. It's somehow not as dark as it sounds. It's more about the psychology of what he went through and the philosophy extracted from that.

Also, Way of the Peaceful Warrior has always clicked with me.

OK, man. I'm about to get real with you. Regardless of whether or not this relationship works out, it's time to work on yourself. Like, right now, today. I get that you have been conditioned to think that expressing your emotions is bad. However, you have to understand that by not sharing how you feel, you have isolated your wife. This is the person you've decided to share your life with, and you are not communicating. That is a lonely, lonely feeling. To fix this, you have to learn to be vulnerable. And that's going to be the last thing you want to do, because you say it makes you feel weak, but I would bet every dollar I have that that's what your wife needs. Sharing your vulnerability with someone you trust, like your life partner, is one of the keys to a strong interpersonal connection. You need to work with a therapist on this issue. I understand that right now you are in a panic about your marriage and you want to fix things, but this is not a quick fix. You have to unlearn the warped way of dealing with emotion that you were raised with and replace it with a healthier way of thinking. That's a big job, but a manageable one if you commit to making the effort.

I'd recommend this podcast episode.

Good luck, dude. You can do this.

ENTP to the rescue, I guess.

Your biggest problem seems to be anxiety. Solution: Meditate. You can do free guided sessions here: https://www.calm.com/ (the app is even better)

The reason why meditation works? Meditation prioritizes awareness over reactivity. Anxiety is an automatic emotional reaction to an observed flaw within yourself. Meditation helps you to just observe that flaw, without reacting. It helps you to accept it and move on or to solve it.

Your second biggest problem also seems to be procrastination. I've never really mastered it fully, but I have developed mechanisms to deal with it. One such mechanism is detailed here: https://redd.it/4nqrvx.

It's worked with me so well that I'm now developing an app. It's called Unprocrastinate Me. If you want to try it out PM me your discord tag or other IM service details.

I literally don't feel like I'm human. Not in a cool way where I'm special or unique. More like maybe my original destiny was to be a nonphysical systems planner for a planetary organism but something went wrong and now I have to live in a body.

I also find it much easier to understand myself and other people if I back off until I can see what's happening as a whole system. When I'm zoomed in, I see things as "behavior" or "personality traits" and they're confusing. When I stand back far enough that the system is holistically viewable, I can see that these "traits" or "behaviors" are simply emergent properties of the system as it currently functions.

INFJs, you would all love the work of Donella Meadows: https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Systems-Donella-H-Meadows/dp/1603580557

I'd say so. I was quite depressed throughout my teen years, and then had a MDE just out of college. I've since made a full recovery, and feel much stronger for it - but I know that if I'm not careful, I am prone to feelings of overwhelm and melancholy. I have to limit news intake, for example, because the world is in such an awful state and I can't do anything about most of it.

I recently read a great book, Man's Search for Meaning, which I really "got" - one of the core messages is that there is dignity to be found in suffering. That really resonated with me. Of course we should avoid suffering, but it's not always possible, and when we have to suffer, we have a choice as to how to take it. It can make us so much more grateful for the good times. I've never had fits of giggles quite like the ones I had when I was coming out of my MDE.

The course "Wake Up Productive" by Eban Pagan and "The Power of Habit" written by Charles Duhigg. Also "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength" if you don't get enough of the previous two.

This is a great idea. I have a lot of work I've been meaning to share, but life always seems to get in the way. Here's an example, a demo I recorded for one of my songs - Topsy

If it had an album cover it would be this

I hope you dig. :)

(It's a rough recording, so I could post the lyrics if you like.)

Edit: Deleted a comma.

> it's that it's pure stupidity that I have to encounter.

Not everyone finds the comments you mentioned being "stupid." You don't have to encounter anything, you could, oh I don't know, ignore what you don't like.

> Why exactly can't I question someone else's type?

You can question it if you want, but what good would that do? Your assessments will inherently be based on incomplete evidence and what you're actually doing is telling someone they don't belong here, which I find unnecessary (it's cool if you don't). Just because an INFJ doesn't sound like you or conform to your opinions on what constitutes quality advice, does not mean they aren't an INFJ. You're not an authority on what an INFJ sounds like.

> I was voicing an opinion on their low quality, I never said delete their post or censor it.

You mentioned wanting changes to improve quality, I assumed that was what you had in mind, I apologize if I misunderstood what you were asking for.

> A witch-hunt is a group harassing a member repeatedly . . . You might want to re-define what a witch hunt means to you.

I'm not talking about what a witch hunt means to me, I'm talking about the objective dictionary definition of "Witch hunt": "the searching out and deliberate harassment of those (as political opponents) with unpopular views." Here, you searched out that poster's comments and publicly ridiculed them in this forum. According to the dictionary, the harassment doesn't have to be repeated or carried out by a group as you suggest . . .

I'm currently writing this with 25 tabs open between two browsers. If there's an article or interesting video I've had open for more than a day or two without addressing it, I'll save it to Pocket so I can read it later either on my phone, desktop, or laptop. I've also installed One Tab on my browsers, which consolidates tabs and reduces the memory usage. For interesting youtube videos that are just hanging open in tabs, I'll just click the "watch it later" and hope I remember to check it out eventually. I have a really bad habit of opening tabs and never getting to them. Eventually, my computer restarts unexpectedly and I lose them all, which is momentarily heartbreaking until I realize 15 minutes later that it's no big deal.

I can totally relate!

I have kind of a different solution which helped me. You can try the app called intellect created by a group of psychologists. It recommends lots of pathways based on your personality type which it allots based on the big-5 OCEAN-model test that it takes at the start.

I did the perfectionism pathway on it, followed the little tasks it gave and I can already feel some difference!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.intellect.app Check it out!

Yes, the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is one of my favorite books. I also recommend On the Shortness of Life by Seneca.

I spent the majority of my high school and college years studying mindfulness and living a disciplined life, meditating, eating strict diets, and experimenting w celibacy.

I learned so much for all my years of self-analysis and discipline, but the human side of emotions is un-tamable and will pop up if you supress it with Stoicism. Now I'm working backwards to allow myself spontaneity, like getting in relationships, having fun, and treating myself to pleasures both big and small.

If you feel like you need to get your life together, yeah, try Stoicism. Don't use it as a tool to avoid feeling, though. We are here to experience life and all it has to offer. Every path is just a path, one of a million. You can pick up and discard them as you grow..

I am reading Silver Linings Playbook and actually came here to make a post suggesting it haha! It's excellent so far, but I'm not even half way in, so my apologies if it ends badly!

I'm also making my way through Thinking, Fast and Slow, because it was on the list of Obama's favorite books. I guess it's non-fiction social psychology? It's really interesting so far!

I don't have anything against the use of recreational drugs (in fact I think they can be fun), but if we're talking solely for the purpose of helping to cure depression, I think there are better ways.

I was on antidepressants for a bit. They helped at first, but after awhile I started to not care about things. This is helpful for when you want to let go of negative thoughts and feelings, but the downside was that I didn't care about good things either. I just kinda felt meh and passionless. Also, it was a bitch to come off of them, and when I did I was kinda back at square one.

I'm a firm believer that most depression is caused by thoughts. The things that have helped me are 1) therapy and 2) mindfulness meditation - #2 even more so. Therapy helped me recognize thought patterns and held me accountable for putting into practice what I learned. Mindfulness meditation helped me to become even more in tune with my thoughts and feelings and to not take them so seriously. It's also just helped me to become more "in the present" - as hokey as that sounds. Either way, I'd recommend reading 10% Happier by Dan Harris. It actually did help make me happier.

See it this way:

Your calmness and insightfulness is the complement to her excitement and extroversion. It will make her feel as if she is the one that brings fun into the relationship, it in a way validates who she is. If both of you are outgoing, it becomes difficult to "hear" yourself in a way. Your partner doesn't contribute what you lack, they contribute the same exact thing.

Self-esteem is just being okay with who you are, knowing your flaws, and knowing what is bullshit. I head Models by Mark Manson is a very good book for guys learning what true confidence is. I've read some of it myself, and much of it explains to you what the fundamentals of being a secure person is. None of that PUA temporary bullshit people try to feed you.

So yes. An extroverted and adventurous girl can feel attracted to someone like you. They already have. You just gotta learn how to keep them.

Reading Your Money or Your Life over a decade ago was very key in reframing my perspective of money. When I was younger it was hard for me to take money seriously because it seemed like a mass delusion over scraps of power that was a symbol for so many things I opposed ideologically.

But learning how to live within my means and see money as a symbol of my life energy which has been helpful. I moved to skilled technical work that is intellectually interesting but pays enough so I do not have to work full time and have time to pursue other interests like music. I live within my means, and having a cushion and not living paycheck to paycheck also has positively affected my overall well-being. Not having to worry constantly about money is a huge luxury. I also like having experiences that are easier with money such as travel.

Money itself is not very important to me, but it's the system we have in place right now and it's pretty difficult to become removed from it and have decent quality of life.

You're welcome, I'm glad you found it helpful :)

Another commenter had linked to a document called "The Manual", which I've been reading, and is an excellent resource.

I'd also encourage anyone struggling with depression, or feelings of misanthropy to do some reading on the Buddhist concept of Mindfulness. I'm reading a great book right now by Thich Nhat Hanh called Peace is Every Step, and it's a great instruction for practicing mindfulness in daily life. Another great book by the same author is called The Heart of Understanding, which takes a more philosophical approach to exploring Buddhist concepts of unity and existence.

I would definitely recommend reading up on mindfulness, as it's been a huuugly helpful tool for me for dealing with stress and anxiety. It basically teaches you how to engage in a meditative state of mind in order to process stress and regain composure when things feel overwhelming. I also like that they aren't your typical 'self-help' type of books, but rather, part of a greater philosophy (Buddhism,) and so the topic of mindfulness is examined within the context of the greater philosophy/religion, and also independently and from a practical perspective. Another bonus is that the books are very quick reads, and the language is concise and clear. Peace is Every Step could easily be read in a weekend, and The Heart of Understanding is only 54 pages long.

I really hope this information is helpful - so many people go through bouts of depression and increased anxiety, and so few of them realize how not-alone they are....to OP, find a way to connect with other people, and use the tools recommended in this thread to educate yourself and take back control of your attitude toward the external world. Edit Corrected a couple of typos.

Okay, I have a few things to say. To start with, I know. I know that emptiness, I know that pain that doesn't. At 17 I've unfortunately felt too much of that, but I got help. Aside from the therapy I've had, the biggest game changer was reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. The book is Viktor's observations of the other prisoners he lived with in te Nazi concentration camps. I know this sounds horribly depressing, but it's the greatest acount I have found (And I do look) of the strength and resiliance possessed by the prisoners who survived. Not only that, he tries to illustrate the ability we all have to choose what we want to be. I don't do his work justice, but I advise reading it. And also... get some help. The reason I'm not a complete mess is that I have seen two fantastic therapists and they helped me understand myself and be confident in who I am. That is the best I give you, it's your power to choose.

Mindfulness meditation. Read Mindfulness in Plain English as it's an awesome primer. It's especially good in situations like this where you are still attached to something that really never was permanent in the first place.

What the Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula

Illusions by Richard Bach

Culture Series by Banks

The Art of War and Tao Te Ching, translated

The Alchemist by Coelho

The Cosmic Game by Grof

Positioning by Ries and Trout

Surely you're Joking Mr Feynman by Richard Feynman

I seem to beat the dead horse in here with insight meditation. But take a look at these two links. May help.

http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.hivebrain.andrewjohnson.confidence&hl=en

I'm not sure, she's based in London and there seems to be a huge list of local bootcamps here.

I'll let you know when i find out.
I really wish I had a degree! I would have learned all this coding stuff already.
In the meant time I've been using https://www.freecodecamp.org/

Well your post is definitely firmly on the paranoid and crazy side of the spectrum BUT:

• To calm you down

Only about 12% of your facebook friends are shown your wall posts, so there's a high chance they haven't even seen each-others posts. Unless they've actually 'liked' each-others activities which would prove they have and do.
It's most likely a total coincidence and you're overthinking it. And even if they are doing it, what's the big deal and why would it influence what the two of you have? Try not to analyze the situation so dramatically, chill, there could be a hundred explanations: maybe they're really old friends and it's just innocent fun, I've got plenty of female friends with whom this would be considered such a small quirky fun it would be almost not noteworthy if it happened online.

• To feed your paranoia

I can definitely see myself doing something so subtle and odd with a girl :), IF it's certain we've both noticed each-other doing it, a proof of which would be both clicking the like button on each-other's posts afterwards or the content matches somewhat (both add black and white profile images for example). Kind of like one-upping the other, a tease of some sort. It doesn't even have to go further from this, just a random weird game that can put a smile to our faces due to how stupid it is if it doesn't go on for too long.

I'd love to try a sensory deprivation tank. I also want to try that anechoic chamber that makes people hallucinate. I'd want to test myself to see if I could last more than 45 minutes.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a therapist who suits your needs! In the meantime though, if things get especially bad, you could always try calling a crisis hotline or checking out some mental health resources.

The way you describe the puzzle completely resonates with how I felt even just before I felt the need to write this post. It was all there in front of me, but my eyes couldn't focus.

It was a self-imposed Birdcage of Oppression. I could see each bar individually, but I failed to pull back and see the cage that the bars created together. Not to say that relationships are cages, but I was caged in my mind.

but infj are like that https://image.slidesharecdn.com/johariwindow-130409134424-phpapp02/95/johari-window-6-638.jpg?cb=1365515101

check that https://www.slideshare.net/KapilChhabra1/johari-window-18488998

Tim O'Neill has a great piece concerning the "Jesus Myth" and its lack scholarly basis here.

Though it's worth saying that Josephus is about the least biased source on the planet, and is used extensively by historians who study the period.  

Tim O'Neill is a noted athiest blogger with a degree in medieval literature. More on him here.

I'm not the person you are asking, but I would say that it is likely more about the skills you have than the degree. If you can find a degree that gives you said skills, then go for it. Otherwise there are multitudes of resources for acquiring the skills without a degree and/or through alternative learning programs.

Google search back end web developer. Here's an intro:

Skills of a successful back-end web developer

Front-End vs Back-End vs Full Stack

or check that https://image.slidesharecdn.com/johariwindowppt-130809065852-phpapp01/95/johari-window-9-638.jpg?cb=1376106884 ??

https://www.slideshare.net/tina_santos14/johari-window-25088277

The "unknown" quadrant represents things that neither I know about myself, nor you know about me.  Being placed in new situations often reveal new information not previously known to self or others. Thus, a novel situation can trigger new awareness and personal growth. The process of moving previously unknown information into the open quadrant, thus enlarging its area, has been likened to Maslow's concept of self-actualization.

• Sweet child o' mine
• Guns n' roses

Second would be

• Sometimes she cries

• Warrant

Third

• Anything goes

• Randy Houser

Fourth

• In Gods time

• Randy Houser

Fifth

• Say it ain't so

• Weezer

Sixth

• The wolf (really, check it out)

• Mumford & sons

Seventh

• Austin

• Blake Shelton

Knowing how much we love music, if you haven't heard of it already, Spotify is a free streaming service which is extremely sharp and neat, doesn't take up data if you have a phone plan so you don't even need to get a membership unless you hate ads and want better sound quality (it sounds great regardless)

All of the songs I listed are available on spotify.

Here's the link, check it out https://www.spotify.com/us/

I'm seriously not marketing for spotify lol, even though it sounds like it when I really like stuff.

If you're interested I had good luck with these tutorials: http://www.sololearn.com.

But yes, I definitely feel your pain! I'm pretty quick to pick up a lot of things so when I encounter something that is difficult to understand it's especially frustrating...

> I sat on what I wanted to say and how to convey it for a while, so I'm happy that the quality shows.

This is a very stereotypical INFJ thing to do--can relate!

Yes, definitely check out my YouTube channel, stay with me here on Reddit, and also look at my minds.com account (https://www.minds.com/runningdeep). More content is in the works. I am trying to focus on quality over quantity, and I'm still figuring things out (as a new creator), so we'll see how things go...

Good day! :)

I keep a journal in a physical notebook for certain topics. I also use penzu post for more daily writing. The website will ping you via email with prompts if you like. I have fallen off on using it, but there was a time when I wrote several times a week.

Writing is incredibly helpful for me in work and in my personal life. If I am grappling with a problem or a concept, writing will ALWAYS help me gain new insights or find new directions to pursue. Getting concepts out of my head is always a useful exercise that yields fruit. I also have a weird quirk: For some reason, I can never ever start writing manuscripts or grant proposals with a blank document on my laptop. The only way I can ever get started is by using pencil and paper.

Oh yes. I've been trying for a decade to figure out how to organize and follow up on all my lists. A close INFJ friend of mine pointed me toward Notational Velocity. My grand plan is to disgorge the knowledge stored in my head about how to do my job, various projects, recipes, etc. into this system. We'll see whether it actually works.

check it out.. https://www.slideshare.net/michaeljpastor/mental-functions-and-time-perception-11649113

This is a separate form of energy entp vs infj

Entp has an objective and humorous soul

infj the reverse and it has a connection with this energy ..

I hear you 100%. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but we are created to have healthy community no matter how small or large that is. Key word healthy haha. That being said when I went through a similar time (and what I encourage all INFJs to do) the best thing that I ever did was to work on myself. Learn how to have a healthy relationship with myself, and learn how to have a healthy relationship with others.

This helped me sooooo much : https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310247454/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_A8S0GS6P5X3VWYG8S0N2

I live alone so it fluctuates... I prefer my own music bubble, but get irritated with things on/in my ears for too long.

Recently discovered wearable speakers that let your own personal "surround sound" follow you around the house. ADHD game changer!

I enjoy welding. Nobody will bother you if you've got a nice bright electrical arc capable of giving them sunburn. I'll write or carve rocks with my Dremel. I'll do tricks with my whips or water my plants. Sleep is good too. Drink some tea in a nice quiet place. I enjoy toys I can fidget with. Here's a link to my favorite one:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0774RJFC6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_pQZe3HcX1ApBr

Music is amazing, but so is the simple silence. Making beaded bracelets and sewing (by hand or machine) is also fun. You can make a little bag filled with rice so you can stick it in the microwave for a some minutes and then curl up with it because its warm and comforting. Simply putting lotion on my hands is surprisingly calming for me because I find satisfaction in taking care of myself. Dont forget to eat. Maybe something soft like soup or lasagna. Don't do a feast though. Just nourishment.

When it comes to separating yourself from the drama, sometimes it's best to just tell it like it is. I know it's important to help other, but it's also important to help yourself first so you can help others later.

That's all the advice I can give, I hope it helps!

Capitalism in its purest form is just free exchange with respect for property rights.

If you like that your pillow and your toothbrush are yours, and you like to trade with people in ways that benefit both you and the other person (voluntary mutual exchange) then you are a capitalist.

If you are concerned about factory jobs in China and India being oppressive it is important to realize that people line up by the thousands for those jobs. Those people have very few options because those places have been terribly oppressive, not because of the factories coming in to give them a way to earn a living that doesn't involve toiling in the dirt. They need more factories and more choices in order for their working conditions and living standards to improve, not less.

It is all the ways that forced funding and coercive collectivist policies (socialism, fascism & communism) have been laundered under the label "capitalism" that produce oppressive and regressive behaviors.

Understanding money and how government devaluation funds war, traps everyone on a financial treadmill, breeds debt and over consumption, etc, is the real key to understanding the difference between free market capitalism and whatever it is we have now.

Tom Woods book Meltdown (about the financial crisis) is a good read. Tom also has a great podcast, and so does comedian Dave Smith with the Part of the Problem podcast.

Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt is also a great book for getting a grasp on the basics and dispelling a lot of the myths that are floating around out there. I am pretty sure it's available for free online via the Mises institute - it should show up with a search.

philosophy is my absolute go to, as well as anything along those lines dealing with pyschology or conciousness, and also religious texts. it's all so fascinating! 8) Jung speaks to my soul, and though he is often avoided for being hard to understand, i feel that it all clicks for me, so anything that he has written. Dostoevsky is really interesting. recently finished Man's Search for Meaning by Frankl which was fantastic. have yet to read Nietzsche, and would also like to read up on Piaget and Carl Rogers...the list is endless. I have no formal education in it, just great personal interest. currently working my way through Jordan B Peterson's lectures on youtube and using that as kind of a frame for further investigation.

Not fantasy, but The Great Gatsby's kinda amazing. Fitzgerald's prose is golden, and I've always felt a certain kinsmanship with Gatsby; there has always been something beautiful and tragic, yet relatable about his relentless optimism...

Additionally, there are Fitzgerald's other works, Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray, and Stephen King's On Writing. Where The Red Fern Grows is so freaking sad, and The Little Prince is a pure, childhood classic.

For fantasy, check out the Bartimaeus trilogy. It's shelved under young adult, but I found the books to be exceptionally well-written - better written than many books written for mature audiences - and hilarious, too!

Good luck. And if you have any questions, or are searching for more recommendations, lemme know! :)

This is just outright false. Seriously. I will provide links in a sec

Edit: Here is a post written by the cofounder of Paypal before it sold for $1.5 billion dollars. He actually writes a whole book about why competition is actually just the sign of a market that's demand is readily filled called "Zero to One." Entering a competitive marketplace is just for those who can't think of anything more creative. https://www.wsj.com/articles/peter-thiel-competition-is-for-losers-1410535536

Yup, feel like I'm just getting started on working towards finding mine!

Have you read Man's Search for Meaning (I feel like I talk about this book at least once a week, sorry-not-sorry)?! I recently rediscovered it and I think you might appreciate it a lot since it's all about the pursuit of purpose (I love that phrase, btw)!

I've found meditation to be a helpful practice in this. Meditation has its roots of course in Buddhism but the reality of the practice is pretty secular - to simply cultivate an awareness of the present moment, and learning to let things go.

It isn't something that you do once and suddenly are enlightened or anything. But practicing this every day little by little just helps exercise your brain to get more used to the idea that the present moment is worth paying attention to, and is the only true reality you have. A little dash of perspective like that I find to be liberating in times of stress and uncertainty for me.

I've found books like The Road Less Traveled, Wherever You Go There You Are, and Mindfulness in Plain English to be great primers on a lot of the ideas behind present moment mindfulness and the more secular buddhist concepts (i.e. life is "suffering").

Mindset by Carol Dweck was very enlightening for me when I felt "stuck" in where I was. It may be a bit outdated now, but it might be worth the read.

Worry about growing yourself, which in turn will allow others to grow around you. Constantly worrying about everyone else is going to leave you drained and frustrated. Love yourself and allow yourself to grow. It might take a very long time, but as long as you can look back and say "Damn, I'm sure as hell in a much better place than I was last month/year/whatever" then you're doing well for yourself and the people around you. You're not being selfish, you're just being someone who's trying to find happiness. You may be scared, but take risks and learn to love failing. When you fail, you learn how to make the next time better, and the next, and the next.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

I was raised w/ a family that has a LOT of stuff. Being stressed out about organizing stuff and misplacing stuff regularly has been a major theme of my life. I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo recently which has really helped me.

I went to therapy for like 2 years and it didn't help me as much as I'd hoped. It was a venue to vent but I had friends and family. Im still glad i went though. What helped me the most was getting book recommendations from my therapist, I preferred how I could do it on my own time and refer back if I needed to and kind of work things out myself.

I was doing well for awhile but my anxiety has come back pretty strong so when I'm in the right situation I'm probably going to look into CBT, I've heard really good things about it. I'm curious if other people have gone through it here.

My best friend is and ENFP and also bipolar, she goes to therapy and says it helps her a lot. And I've known other people that its really helped. I think its good to give it a try.

The books that helped me if you're interested: "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns and "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne

The idea of meditation, as I understand it, is to learn being fully present in the current moment. I've started practicing it, and I feel it's been teaching me to use my Se in a healthy way, just as running seems to.

Alan Watts has an excellent series of lectures on meditation, which I found helpful in understanding the desired frame of mind and intention of meditation.

The resources on /r/Meditation sidebar are good, and one resource that comes up often for beginning western practitioners is Mindfulness in Plain English.

I get extreme rushes of inspiration and creativity throughout the day, to the point where I literally can't focus on anything else until I write down my idea or put it into action. I have the same frustration with having a vision and not having the technical ability to make it come to life, or trying and seeing it as a failure due to a perfectionist outlook even though other people seem to think it's good.

I also have had trouble expressing myself artistically because it feels so self fulfilling, hopeless and pointless, which took me a long time to get over. Both of these books helped me get through that: Art and Fear and The War of Art.

I'll let you find descriptions, but check out:

Meditations - Marcus Aurelius

Werner Herzog - A Guide for the Perplexed: Conversations with Paul Cronin

The 4-Hour Workweek - Timothy Ferriss

The Path to Power - Robert Caro (whole series is great)

Thank you for this, I can't wait to see this thread fill up because my book reading shelf needs new ones.

Books I'm reading/read lately:
-* Brilliance by Marcus Sakey
-* 10% Happier by Dan Harris
-* The Nerdist by Chris Hardwick
-* Quiet, the Power of Introverts by Susan Cain
-* Brain Rules by John Medina
-* The Power of No by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher

If you're interested, I wrote a book and it's my take about something from my perspective (so an INFJ's viewpoint). I was going to do a black friday sale but if there's enough interest, I'll go ahead and reduce the price now :)

Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Trail-Magic-Art-Soft-Pedaling-ebook/dp/B00NJQZ6GK

Check out a book called Models by Mark Manson. I can't recommend it highly enough. It's the best book I've ever read on social interaction with women. Totally refreshing and illuminating, not the standard pickup or seduction fare. I could make some points about your situation, but seriously, just read it.

It's because you desire to have someone special in your world. This is what I think. And of course, not being in any relationships for a long time might mean you're rusty in approaching among other things.

This was a skill that was never taught to me and I started learning it this year. Quite fascinating. This isn't the stereotypical pick-up artistry per se, but rather the skill of courting and socializing. Like any other skill, it needs to be learned and practised.

I highly recommend reading this book: Models by Mark Manson. You'll learn a lot. - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005EOTH24

I was alway the English teacher's favorite, but am lazy and idealistic which fucks with my motivation and then also my ego. I've been going through and tightening up a lot of old shit and trying to get feedback on r/poetry, but its often just downvotes and no feedback. Currently reading Steven King's On Writing.

If you normally feel "blank," is it possible you've had some mild depression? I'm wondering if this could be your brain's way of coming out of it, if so.

In the past, I've had some rare moments of sudden, inexplicable happiness while doing mundane activities. I wouldn't say it was that "in love" feeling, but it was usually accompanied by some anxiety, because it didn't make sense to me. The only time I've had that "in love" feeling not connected with a person was when I started learning to draw using that "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" book -- letting that part of my brain have control was like releasing every feel-good neurotransmitter my brain could make.

Anyway, your story is interesting. It brings up a lot of secondary questions about what emotion really is. We tend not to think of feelings as "real" unless we understand their source, and yet a "real" emotion and a spurious emotion feel just the same. I can't help but think that neuroscience and ancient meditation practices are right that emotions are illusions created by our minds. On the other hand, I can't live like that day to day -- I'd prefer to go along with the illusion, at least insofar as it helps me to be better to those around me and to feel connected to the world.

I'm just starting a Couch to 5K program with my dad, so that should be good for my mood. I also downloaded Mindfulness in Plain English from [/r/meditation](/r/meditation) today, and it seems amazing so far; I was literally nodding along with the author by the third page. I do think both exercise and meditation, besides helping my mental state, will build up my self-discipline and, therefore, my self-esteem. Thanks for the advice.

Interesting! My first degree was in Theology (at a secular university not a seminary) and that was great. I thought about training to be a minister, but it never quite settled for me so I didn't. I did work for a couple of religiously motivated not-for-profits, and both turned out to be disastrous experiences for me, swore I'd never do it again. I'm still willing to volunteer for things I think are worthwhile, but will no longer wrap up my sense of identity with my role and paycheck. Now I'm back studying Business part-time while working. There are still aspects of theology that fascinate me, but I don't know of a community that I feel represents what really matters.

I find the psychology of Flow really interesting, and enjoyed reading mihaly csikszentmihalyi. Following that, I realised that I love skills acquisition. So now, I try something new every so often and it's helped my mood and outlook a lot. Getting better at stuff feels really good! And it helps me to enjoy life because getting better at anything helps you appreciate more about life, whether it's learning chess, deepening appreciation for classical music, running a marathon, learning to balance on a thin beam, making the perfect coffee.... whatever...

Plus for us INFJ's that don't love small talk so much, it gives us things to talk about in social situations. People are often surprised when I start explaining my latest hobby foray, but are usually intrigued and often it unlocks interesting conversations - even if it involves the question 'why on earth would you do that?' - I much prefer to talk about 'why's' than about the weather (unless you've started studying meteorology or stellar navigation and then it could be awesome...)

Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Peaceful-Warrior-Changes-Lives/dp/1932073205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443297203&sr=8-1&keywords=way+of+the+peaceful+warrior

I've felt this same thing. Either I grew past it or it's the antidepressants that help me carry it. Maybe both? Now I've lived enough time ignoring these thoughts and had positive experiences to reinforce my ignoring of them. So it's easier to believe they don't control my destiny. I think it will become easier for you too.

Self-help books were very good for me. This one in particular, but if it doesn't jive with your existential framework, maybe try something else.

I guess I feel empathy for your brother too. It sounds like he's having a tough time with his self-image. You could throw this book at him or yourself--I have no idea what his orientation his, but it's a great book for helping people get over their gender insecurities.

THANKS! I love this place so much!

I finished an Android game on Monday and have been trying to spread the word about it, but it's hard.

Here goes, Line Mayhem!

Tell me what you think about it!

Not very disciplined. Only thing that works is forcing a routine to the point it becomes habit. Tend to get distracted by new ideas and have very fluctuating bouts of will power. I have reminders everywhere to try keep me on track. Using the 7 Weeks app helps.

There are lots of INFJ books out there, but the ecstatic soul looks at INFJs a different way. It talks about our different paradoxes, and how we get around them. The author also explains cognitive functions, and how they work in a very detailed, yet understandable way that I’ve never seen anyone else do. I’m almost done with it, and it’s a great read for only $10. https://www.amazon.com/Ecstatic-Soul-Look-INFJ-Personality/dp/B09GJG6HXZ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=VF4BL3FRAEF1&keywords=the+ecstatic+soul&qid=1670647558&sprefix=the+ecst%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1

Firstly, I would advice to learn what the humor actually is, what makes us laugh, like here. I recommend also this book. I learn a lot from it.

Secondly what makes us laugh is mostly something we didn't expect, so being an intuitive type is actually our advantage, because we see the connections, that most of people don't. Of course it's easier for Ne doms/aux, because they are naturally funny, they naturally see the contradictions, which makes us laugh. But if you're Ni dom, then don't force yourself to be funny as Ne doms, because that will be much harder. Use Se and Ni. That mean look at the world, look at your surrounding (use Se) and then try to see the connections between different objects (Ni). Ne are able to look at one thing and compare it to the knowledge they've already got (Si) and that is what create unexpected connections (Ne). For us it's easier to compare the things we're experiencing right now (Se -> Ni). That is at least what I discovered and how I've learned to be more funny as INFJ. Of course later on you can try do develop also Ne function, but it will be harder, because you will have to develop also Si. And of course everything like improvisation classes that force you to think faster, or exercises that develop creativity that force you to see different connections will be helpful. But I'm much better at creating funny things in writing, because I have time to think about it. If I have to say sth funny right here and now, while talking with someone, then I will usually fail.

This books is absolutely incredible for this, would highly recommend: https://www.amazon.com/Already-Enough-Self-Acceptance-Lisa-Olivera/dp/1982138920

I can relate. For me, I've tried to come to terms with the idea that I might not connect deeply with most people- but I also remind myself that it's okay to have a friend that you can go see a movie with or maybe the two of you both like going to thrift stores, or whatever it is. Maybe that's all the friendship is and that's okay. It can still be a fun thing to do from time to time.

For my long-term friendships I try to find people that I can connect with on a deeper level and that can take a while. I might meet a group of people at a meditation class and maybe there's only one person that I can really connect with. Or I might go to a group on meetup.com (there are groups for infjs, introverts, highly sensitive people, writers, artists, etc.) and try to connect with people there. I try to be patient because I know I can't connect that deeply with someone overnight, but over time I've been able to build some solid friendships (even if they don't understand every aspect of my personality).

I've moved around the country on my own many times and while it is difficult to meet new people, I do think it's doable. I have tried to meet like-minded people, like finding groups on meetup.com (there are groups for introverts, book clubs, movie-goers clubs, etc.). My local library has a book club as well. I also try to do volunteer work when I can for causes that I'm passionate about and that way you can meet people who have your same interests.

I know that we need our alone time, but I would also encourage you to put yourself out there with initiating when you do meet someone, like ask if they want to go get coffee sometime or find them on social media, exchange numbers, etc. For me, that's the hardest part because it doesn't always feel natural for me to do that, but I think it can be a good thing to do.

As a somewhat spiritual person, I also have a lot of problem with this "you choose to be born" thinking, because it sounds like gas-lighting-maximus to me.

 

Similar to a bully hitting you and asking you why are you choosing to put yourself in a situation where you are being hit, hereby JUSTIFYING you being hit.

 

Don't even get me started with "Starving Kids in Africa" which is a guilt trip "you should be grateful" nonsense for everything, you don't like your food ? "Starving Kids in Africa"

 

You don't like this abuse I am doing to you ? Could be worst ! "Show photos of starving kids literally dying on the streets in Africa (That photo exist by the way, the photographer who took that picture committed suicide soon after because of the trauma of that photo he has taken)"

 

This caused me to write a book to repute this from a spiritual perspective, that we are FORCED to re-incarnate over and over again AGAINST our will or that we live in a spiritual masochistic system where souls are "elevated" by how much suffering they have endured.

 

[with preview]: https://books.google.com.sg/books?id=aRnRDwAAQBAJ&printsec=copyright&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

 

https://www.amazon.com/God-Guardian-Perpetual-Slaves-3/dp/B084QKYCML

Long story short, you didn't ask for any of this, you are not responsible for two people decided to create you without your consent and society had us all on some kind of twisted abusive system by pointing to the kids and telling them they should be GRATEFUL for that which they didn't ask for.

There is a book entitled: Flow You might find it interesting. It is about the nature of experiencing optimal skill or performance. https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-Classics/dp/0061339202

Uhm… microbio shit helps me a ton like… this: ParaCure Microbial Cleanse |... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FLFNHKB?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share & any probiotic stuff. Sucks at first kinda worsens shit but eventually it helps. Doing that with like Tylenol or advil for 3 weeks should do wonders. Let’s the bacteria and stuff even out while your immune response is in overdrive cause that’s what IBS is really then your body has the opportunity to heal your system & it’s all Gucci. If it happens again just do another 3 weeks. If your life is relatively traumatic and stressful right now or has been for a long time just 3 weeks on 1 week off and there will be no long term consequences or harm from advil and tylenol. Keeps inflammation down your body can’t heal when inflamed. The microbio stuff keeps stuff moving regardless of any damage or issues needing to be healed. Hope that helps!

I'm going to recommend a book. It is a very easy and quick read. Follow what is recommended in that book and see if it helps. It's called PTSD: Time to Heal by Cathy O'Brien. It's $12 on Amazon. It's nothing fancy nor technical, but it works. And $12 and 3 weeks is peanuts compared to hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars and years of your life coping in group therapy. I hope you heal and overcome rather than simply learn to cope and have support.

https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Time-Heal-Cathy-OBrien/dp/0692776419/ref=sr\_1\_1?keywords=ptsd+cathy+obrien&qid=1655418174&s=books&sprefix=ptsd+cathy%2Cstripbooks%2C205&sr=1-1

Those connections are kinda weird and stretchy.

Yes, the world order is changing fundamentally and the U.S. is on the decline. The dollar will lose its reserve currency status putting the nail in the coffin of the American hegemony. Ray Dalio talks about it in this book here. If anything, China and Russia are allies and looking finally end the American world order for a new one with them in charge. My bet's on China and I suggest you make plans accordingly (brush up on your Mandarin, etc.).

The race/queer/gender marxism and critical praxis activism is just a Western thing. The Zoomers will be killing each other soon enough. But this is internal conflict is par for the course as empires decline. That being said, the Far East and South East Asia have largely avoided this neo-marxist surge because they're all very conservative in general (i.e. high national pride, obedience to authority, monoculture, etc). So there's no real connection between China's sociopolitical values and the Leftists except that - maybe, at best - they both hate America. But even then I'm skeptical. China wants America out of the geopolitical game for obvious reasons, but Leftists want a revolution, to seize the means of production, among other things.

World War 3 probably won't happen, mostly because the U.S. economy can't handle it, and mutually-assured destruction is a bit inconvenient for everyone. When our stock market finally crashes into the Second Great Depression and hyperinflation kicks into full gear, we'll forget all about Ukraine because $12 a gallon for gas really sharpens the mind and helps one's focus on what truly matters.

I think I understand there being a sociological and biological aspect to your response. I think that language as we use it is not an adequate enough tool to define what is "good", as we have had a few millennia to do so and we are still in disagreement.

The biological aspect of morality you mention reminds me of this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Moral-Animal-Science-Evolutionary-Psychology/dp/0679763996

I believe there are moral absolutes, but they must be discovered, and they are very likely to be metaphysical and hard to find uses for them in practicality. What we speak of as "good and evil" are indeed concepts created but we must have had an intuition to this greater, factual existence, of these concepts which we tried to formalize in the boundaries permitted by language, and of course, all the limitations that come with the human experience; despite using the words that describe the transcendental "good and evil" which we have an intuition about, when people speak of "good and evil" they are often speaking of the practical incarnations of these in the context of their species, society, circumstances.

If it is this the later we are speaking of, I think a few people are born with a high propensity to be either good or evil, and with people's properties being spectra, past a certain threshold one would say "they are born good", or the opposite.

It's definitely a matter of maturation as others pointed out here.

Most people all have an inferior function. Part of your entire life is trying to figure out how to develop that inferior function. This book explains the phenomenon very well. INXJ types definitely struggle in similar ways due to inferior Se.

Of course you could easily argue that the outer world is just your inner world's interpretation of the external environment. To an extent that is true but there are common understandings of the external world we all share.

I am a Gen X INFJ, we grew up into adulthood in an analog age..no computers, no cellphones, no social media, no internet, no 24/7 television (TV went off the air at midnight to 6am every day), no video game system, and no theater-like home entertainment system (we went the the movie theaters for that experience), so my younger years where spent making and playing with friends (because staying home was too boring).

Then came the digital age...with it, an epidemic of "screen addictions" and it's insidious because its a passive addiction (no physical drugs) but "screen addictions" is exploited by Big Tech in their cellphone technology and social media "like" buttons that causes the "users" to get dopamine hits to their brains ("dope" is short for dopamine).

"Screen Addiction" causes anxiety and depression in the users, and those traits creates an anti-friendship shield... its hard to be friendly to others while stuck in that negative state. The digital age caused a major shift in the masses that there's a lot more people exhibiting anxiety and depression that my Generation X was lucky enough to avoid and allowing our brains to fully mature before we jumped into the digital age... by having real life experiences and reality testing with people in the extrovert world, so some of us can see the two different worlds, the analog age vs. the digital age.

Have you tried taking a "Screen Addiction" test?
https://www.mentalup.co/blog/technology-addiction-test

The problem isn't caused by you as a person, it's possibly caused by your addiction to dopamine hits...and that cause you to feel anxiety and depression...the anti-friendship chemicals.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Break-Up-Your-Phone/dp/039958112X

INFJ writer here. Kind of crazy to stumble across entire threads devoted to fellow weirdos of this rare personality type. I've always felt like I'm completely different from everyone else, existing outside society, so it's nice to see I'm not alone.

Anyway, I fully support your writing aspirations. Finishing a book takes a ton of work, but there's nothing quite like holding the world that only ever existed in your head in your hands.

For reference, it took me five years to finish my first dark fantasy novel. Like everything else, you'll improve with practice. My second book is progressing much faster now that I know what I'm doing (allegedly).

Don't worry about what other people think, or what the voices in your head say, just write for yourself and finish at your own pace.

Shameless self-promotion here: If you're looking for a new dark fantasy book to read, try Wanderer's Path by Erik Telfer. Greatest book ever. Totally not biased or anything!

Here's the Amazon link if any of you nerds are interested. https://www.amazon.com/dp/173798010X/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_NM2AWJKXMGGM1YCJFNSX

The Liber Novus in the big form. (Would love to have/read)

A positive note from a ghost of Christmas past with some closure. (Something I would love)

That's it...

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender.

Link to buy hard copy - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/particular-sadness-of-lemon-cake-aimee-bender/1100290984 read free online(if you read it online please buy it afterwards) - http://www.readanybook.com/ebook/the-particular-sadness-of-lemon-cake-83726 A couple of quotes - “Mom loved my brother more. Not that she didn't love me - I felt the wash of her love every day, pouring over me, but it was a different kind, siphoned from a different, and tamer, body of water. I was her darling daughter; Joseph was her it.”

“I didn’t mind the quiet stretches. It was like we were trying out the idea of being side by side.” “It was like we were exchanging codes, on how to be a father and a daughter, like we'd read about it in a manual, translated from another language, and were doing our best with what we could understand.” "...a Dorito asks nothing of you, which is its great gift. It only asks that you are not there.” "That at the same time of this very intimate act of concentrating so carefully on the details of our mother's palm and fingertips, he was also removing all traces of any tiny leftover parts, and suddenly a ritual which I'd always found incestuous and gross seemed to me more like a desperate act on Joseph's part to get out, to leave, to extract every little last remnant and bring it into open air.”

A few years ago a friend introduced me to YNAB (You Need A Budget). It's a budgeting app, but in addition to the app, it was their philosophy that resonated with me. Basically, it comes down to this... for every dollar that gets into your hands, give it a job. So, for me, I get paid once a month at the beginning of the month. As soon as the money is in my account, I go to the app and move those dollars into a category to give it a job to do for me - like pay bills, or sit there until I want to go out for drinks, or lay around in my emergency category praying with me that I won't need to dip into there. I have various categories I set up for my lifestyle (like I have a video game category and a beer category) and before I do something, I check that category in my budget to see if I have enough money to do what I was about to do. If not, then I have a decision to make. So, the whole process makes me more mindful of my money and how I actually spend it. And it holds me accountable because I don't like seeing a category go into the red (negative) because I overspent.

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Well, this turned into a messy explanation. They have a great explanation online. Their app/software is built around this method, so they obviously go well together, but you don't have to use their software to still learn and get benefits out of their method.

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They also offer free online workshops (on lots of different budget topics), an online forum, and lots of support to their users. I know this sounds like an ad, but it's not. This method and app changed my life so I tell everyone who shows any interest in it about it. My relationship with money is healthier than it's ever been in my whole life. That's saying a lot since I'm pretty old :)

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Good luck!

Quote: "With all the research on diabetes and advances in diabetes treatments, it's tempting to think someone has surely found a diabetes cure by now. But the reality is that there is no cure for diabetes -- neither type 1 diabetes nor type 2 diabetes. (Although lifestyle changes can achieve remission in type 2 diabetes in some cases.)"

https://www.webmd.com/diabetes/guide/is-there-a-diabetes-cure#1

Reversing Type 2 Diabetes The most common cause of type 2 diabetes is obesity-related, which generally follows a vicious cycle pattern: Diet high in calories -particularly if high in refined carbohydrates. With time and dedication, type 2 diabetes can be reversed and the results can be very rewarding

https://www.diabetes.co.uk/reversing-diabetes.html

Google the rest yourself. I hate giving quotes. I have my own goddamn memory!

Try journaling, meditation, try to be less critical of yourself, you deserve to be loved and cared for, like everyone in this world. Next time your brain thinks "I am co-dependent or obsessed", try to show love to yourself, like you love the other person.
You seem to be too harsh on yourself, happens at times, take care of yourself and treat yourself to something lovely.

https://www.headspace.com/articles/are-you-too-judgmental

0 A.D.

Civilization 6

Tavern Master

Stellaris

Ultimate General Civil War

agar.io

Alice Madness Returns

Kerbel Space Program

I got House of Ashes, but I haven't played it yet.