What are /r/CPTSDmemes' favorite Products & Services?

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If ur into reading at all, there is this book book and it has helped me SO MUCH. it’s modern, helpful af, and so far no religious-ness tied in.

Even though I'm a straight, jock-looking type dude, a few years ago I started shifting my focus from masculine to more and more feminine literature (I speculated then that the center for healing was more in the feminine and not the masculine, although the noble masculine has equally positive traits as well). Btw, top recommendation is Here All Dwell Free by Gertrude Mueller Nelson. Unbelievably insightful.

In a book about psychedelics I read last year, the author pointed out (loosely quoted), "Your body knows how to heal. If you cut your finger, you don't have figure out how to heal it. It'll heal itself. Although sometimes, if the cut is bad enough, you may need to help it some. But it's silly to think it doesn't know how."

Shortly after reading that, I came to the conclusion we were talking about above, among other things. The mind is obviously a part of the body. And yes, so many of my/our actions are trauma responses. But even those, if you take a minute to look closely at them, are the body trying to heal; trying to tell you the help it needs from you TO heal. And ever since I started taking those House/VforVendetta/etc. hints seriously, god damn did life start to improve. Even before I had a diagnosis. I'd say it give me the wiggle room to actually start the real healing.

So glad I could help!

Thank you! I've actually been working on graphic novel for the past three years. Which is to say i've been very, very unemployed but that's just the capitalism engrained in my head talking. I publish it as a webcomic and have already started trying to get in contact with publishers. You can check it out if you want, it's called almost home and is heavily inspired by my life.

Exactly- I think there’s a link just being told I need to do “x” different because I’m wrong shame.

I’m trying mindful self compassion and it’s starting to help. The workbook by Neff and Germer let’s me talk how I want to talk to myself. Therefore I don’t have that same - you’re bad at everything self Monolog. Like if you can console your friend, why not yourself type of thing. Plus it gave me more tools like somatic or other movement. This helps me as it’s like I don’t have to use mental talk, but move my body in a different way to show internal care. Self compassion isn’t just one thing - so this meme helps me a lot as it’s more. I’ve just been pushed Into a form self compassion that doesn’t work for me , but there’s other ways!!

Best luck and I hope you can find a system that works for you /doesn’t make you feel shame/guilt whatever. 💕

Btw - here’s a link to the workbook I’m talking about. No worries or whatever if you’re finding your own path. Just putting it here if anyone reading this is interested.

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462526780/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MWPE851PDXYM1XGQR5YC?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I suggest Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life because that book is the most in-depth in convering all kinds of boundaries that I have seen.

There’s no forgiveness for wrongdoing, let alone when abuser isn’t asking for forgiveness and instead blames the victim.

No one is saying anything about avoiding growth. In fact, research by Briggs and others on sexually abused children has found that those victims who minimized the depravity and negative consequences of their abuser’s actions were substantially more likely to become abusers themselves in adulthood..

Minimizing an abusers actions isn’t the method for healing. It’s the opposite. Remembering and processing what’s happened to you as a victim is what allows you to move on. It was injustice, it is injustice, and it has an effect on the life of the real true victim (not the abuser playing victim). Growth is obviously important. But pushing growth at the expense of avoiding real emotions doesn’t help either.

Perhaps you could say that “forgiving” really means processing and putting it behind oneself. But even that is a process and it’s a case-by-case personal decision for when one is ready to do so.

I agree that growth and maturity are important. But it comes with time and personal pace. No one can overcome years of abuse with real forgiveness (unless abuser actually makes amends..).

Wrongdoing is a wrongdoing. When a murderer shoots up a school are the victims and their families supposed to learn to forgive the murderer? Or perhaps maybe the victims need to learn how to process the pain and realize that it is valid. Then, and only then, can they eventually process it enough to try and put it somewhat behind them. That is not forgiveness. That’s emotional processing. I think there’s a big difference. One is learning to deny the real feelings of injustice and anger; another is feeling the feelings of injustice and anger and learning to eventually put it in “long term memory”.

I don’t really understand what the media is supposed to be but I think it’s related to a K-drama somehow. Here’s an Amazon listing I found for the artwork.

it's called show me how by lauren smith, derek fagerstorm, & the show me team. here's the amazon link so you can see the cover too Show Me How: 500 Things You Should Know

It's only $10 on amazon! Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters https://www.amazon.com/dp/006220436X/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_NJET913S00CG34QP9TDW?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I'm not sure why this can't be a good book for guys as well. I think mothers should protect their sons just as well

Well there's the commonly recommended book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma by Pete Walker. I've read it and I could also recommend it as well, but it does have it's flaws. These flaws though are nothing major.

If you are interested in learning Internal Family Systems, than the following would also work. The book I recommend in that case is Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS by Jay Early.

I found the book, "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" is be the most complete on breaking done boundaries, covering the various ways people try to manipulate us into not have boundaries, and various areas of our lives in which boundaries can be important to set. Having a teacher can be better though, when a person can honestly be upset with you for not setting boundaries with them when they realize it, because some people are only ok with boundaries when it doesn't effect them.

Ahhh!!! This is from my favorite series! I can say that the first book in it singlehandedly ended a depressive episode I was having. The fandom is great, too! Here’s a link to obtain the first book from Amazon for those of you who, like me, hate tasks with steps

The Way of Kings https://www.amazon.com/dp/0765365278/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_X25M2EJD0468YCSA0EWE

Link to the free pdf for anyone interested http://the-eye.eu/public/Psychedelics/Psychedelic%20Praxis%20Library%203.0/Collections%20by%20Subject/Neurodiversity%20%26%20Traumacentric%20Therapy/PTSD%20%26%20Dissociation/2013%20-%20Pete%20Walker%20-%20Complex%20PTSD%20-%20From%20Surviving%20t...

The Body keeps the score is a wonderful resource; I’m really glad you found it and are enjoying it.

Another great book is called Parenting with Love and Logic

Love and Logic is a philosophy that allows children (or anyone, really) to live with the consequences of their actions, within reason of course. But in terms of parenting, if you constantly “save” your kid from feeling any consequences growing up, (yelling at their teacher for failing your kid, paying for their mistakes instead If having them work to pay it back, etc) they will not learn the rules of the real world. Then you send them out at 18 to college or a job and they cannot function because they have never learned they can’t behave like a spoiled brat who always gets their way. Ask any employer or college professor and they will tell you stories of young people having their parents call them to help get the job, or help them with their grade. Idk how old you are, but it’s unimaginable to my generation (OLD), but for younger generations, this can occur frequently.

It’s also important to implement these techniques early when the consequences are that their favorite toy just gets broken or they might lose a friendship, versus when the stakes can be life or death, (I.e. driving drunk, getting into a street fight where they or someone else gets seriously injured or worse)

Ask feel free to share more books with me if you know of any!

You are very welcome. Fun? Fact - Susan Forward coined the term FOG (fear, obligation, & guilt^shame ) to describe the tools of the emotion blackmailer. I probably need to re-read her book in the topic, it's been a minute.

a fascinating book on this if you're interested