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Although I am not a fan of the veil in general, (for a feminist look at the veil I suggest The Veil And The Male Elite: A Feminist Interpretation Of Women's Rights In Islam by Fatima Mernissi) but I find it insane that we are letting males who “identify” as female compete against girls, but we are disqualifying girls for wearing hijab. Girls are screwed no matter what they do.

Um, EXCUSE ME?!? Woman, you fucking goddess, that is not petty of you. Many of us would be reacting the same way. That is so gross what he did to you, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

Also it is pretty normal to freeze, unfortunately. Many of us have also done the same. It’s a self-preservation technique that women have learned over millennia. Why? Because we don’t know how they’ll react if we fight back, or call them out on their behavior. (I’m not encouraging or discouraging this. Just saying it’s normal af. Don’t feel bad please!)

Like someone else said, a long shower or bath is a good idea. I would also write about it, scream into a pillow, fucking cry, get myself some chocolate to eat, put on some comfy pajamas and do something to try to take my mind off it. I know that doesn’t always work though. Just let it out, let yourself feel it. Yell and scream if you have to.

Once again I’m so sorry; we as a collective can empathize with you 100%.

Also please consider reading The Gift of Fear!! It’s helped me and many other women feel and stay safe. http://the-eye.eu/public/Books/Radical%20Feminist%20Literature/Gavin%20de%20Becker/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20%28123%29/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20-%20Gavin%20de%20Becker.pdf

In case any one wants to watch without giving a view https://hooktube.com/H34a-EIzSIs

Also why is Riley not examining their ingrained prejudices towards dating men?

This is it and this is a snippet I kept as the parallels to today are so obvious: -

"While writers with doubts about defendants’ guilt were ignored or refused assignments, skeptical mental health professionals fared worse. Throughout the 1980s, psychologists and physicians who publicly opposed ritual-abuse prosecutions were subjected to harassment and attacks. In 1987, Ralph Underwager sent a questionnaire to thirty-three such experts “who had testified that not every accusation is fact and that there are significant problems with the way such accusations are handled.” Of the seventeen who responded, all but one reported a variety of repercussions. Dossiers with slander and ad hominem attacks on them were circulated among prosecutors. There were efforts by child-protection authorities to blacklist them, cut off their referrals, stop their research funding, and cancel their classes and workshops. Complaints were made against them to regulatory bodies. Some were threatened with physical violence. One had his office picketed"

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Satans-Silence-Ritual-Making-American/dp/0595189555/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=9780595189557&linkCode=qs&qid=1562574820&s=books&sr=1-1

The first timeI saw the word "terf" it was right next to "kill", which is why I peak transed. Reading stuff like this did it: -

https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipOM9J_ZIrYtiMagVRr_jhagMR-XP59TBsJFLwNlcS13iIUT4ovqKRN9zttevr0PmA?key=NmJuV1AyRnVSU3dOS2VObVhLSm1uNUkxRjRBSk9R

Metafilter was responsible for my first peak trans, but I think I've peaked again with this one. A user -- who I suspect has no experience with trans people whatsoever, given his demographic, but who clearly would like to be seen as a virtuous ally -- linked to a cringeworthy poem about a child who was abused for liking the wrong toys and who subsequently discovers his true identity as a girl. (What a happy story! Isn't it great that the family came to understand that the boy that they scolded for skipping around the house is really a girl? If only they had known, they probably would have let him color with pink crayons from the get-go!) Antics follow in the comments, including a comment that "TERFs" are "co-opting nonbinary." Yes, friends, if you believe that genitals are irrelevant to personalities and preferences you are a TERF and you are co-opting nonbinary identities. Isn't it great, being a progressive?

I think she’s saying that in that sub, because these people aren’t familiar with radfem/gender critical ideology and she probably doesn’t wanna be jumped on for using the “wrong” pronouns.

For everyone reading this, I recommend The Gift of Fear.

Everyone is right; he’s escalating. He shows many of the signs in this book. She needs to get the fuck away from this obvious sociopath. (I know, it’s easier said than done, but the point still stands.) hopefully her husband will be supportive to her.

Right!? "When men say no, that's the end of the issue. When women say no, it's the start of a negotiation" - Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear

Add to that some porn sick wanker who doesn't know how to be a good lover, and it's a nightmare for most young women.

That doesn't mean everyone who tells you to up your meds is right, or coming from a good place. Abusive men LOVE to tell their partners they're crazy/paranoid/overly senisitve/imagining things/overreacting

Please read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

So, telling your mom that you're something that doesn't exist ("queer", trans and now non-binary) is "beautiful"? All in 2 years. Is she going through all the labels she wrote about in her book, which she calls "super-gay"? How old is she, for crying out loud? [edit] 26? Really? Acts like 12 and sounds like 6.

Using that pollyanna personality to blog her life and get "fans". What normal person does that if they have little or no talent?

If I were her mom, I'd take her to a decent therapist and find out what issue(s) is involved in her disordered thinking. Mom already knew because she read the book that her daughter wrote:

The ABC's of LGBT+ Paperback – September 25, 2016

https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-LGBT-Ashley-Mardell/dp/163353409X/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&keywords=abcs%20of%20lgbt%2B&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&psc=1&qid=1519424208&ref_=mp_s_a_1_1&sr=8-1-spons

Mom: "Whatever."

This is pretty much exactly what Caroline Criado-Perez says in her recent book "Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men".

It's good to see that the awareness of this is spreading.

Ok, the idea that you give up on your career and stay home watering the plants while he works even though you don't plan to have kids is rather strange by itself, but coupled with what you found... there's really very little chance these things are unrelated. Whatever you do, don't become financially dependent on him ever. He sounds kinda gaslighty and manipulative to me, I recommend you read this book as I'm worried there might be a lot more there that you're not seeing, you should be able to find a pdf online

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling-ebook/dp/B000Q9J0RO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1545798686&sr=1-1&keywords=lundy+bancroft

Also, there's a pretty funny Metafilter thread about this article full of people who just completely shocked by the fact that the youngest generation in America is more conservative and more sexist than the generation that came before, because wasn't history supposed to be progress and all that?

Please send an email to the... editor at the Guardian, the person who is higher up than the moderators. It is highly likely that the manager is unaware of how the moderator is brutally censoring the comments. I did that somewhere last year and the manager obviously changed either the moderator or the moderating policy, because after that, gender critical comments were staying up.

https://www.theguardian.com/info/about-guardian-us/contact

https://www.theguardian.com/info/complaints-and-corrections

I also included the very polite and very factual comment which had been removed, as an example of the kind of thing deemed too horrible to publish by the transgendered moderator.

• Eating incredibly spicy food!

That is one of the stupidest things men do in some sort of penis measuring contest or competitive masochism. There is a contest/challenge to keep this in your mouth for 5 min for example: https://www.amazon.com/Toe-Satan-Hot-Lollipop-Pack/dp/B01E0D73HK?th=1

And while Im on the subject: Refusing to wear proper clothes when its cold, Ive had class mates wearing shorts when it started to get to around 40F/5C, shivering like crazy but insisting they are fine. (Honorable mention: bragging about how little sleep they need)

• Being suuuuper into history.

But only the cool manly parts, which is ancient Rome, vikings or the World Wars and maybe old Japan.

• Collecting what I call nerd-junk

This encompasses all the anime figurines, funko pops, lego death stars, swords from anime/fantasy

• Being snobs about stuff

Especially beer or whiskey and sometimes music. I almost never see that behaviour in women where one goes "So your favourite nail polish brand is Essie? Well, they are decent if you arent looking for real quailty I guess..."

Found this in an old Reddit thread.

I think the first study might be from Dale Spender's Man-Made Language:

http://gunpowder-tea.tumblr.com/post/74924297126/madmaudlingoes-bropakpro-touch-my-cuboner

You should check out the subreddits that /u/exnonbinary linked.

>And growing up I watched the news and heard of all the terrible things men have been doing like shooting, killing, and raping people and I always felt like I was lumped with these people just because I was born male.

>This is what truly causes me despair, the thought that some day I will be a grown man

>I’m really in need of support because I don’t know what to do with my life anymore because I will never be a “real girl”.

I know this is difficult advice for a teen, but try to look outside of yourself. Are you despairing about becoming a man because of what men to do others? Or are you despairing for yourself only?

Being a woman or a girl is a multifaceted experience that has one main thing in common--a female body. We can't change our sex, for good or ill.

If you want a worthwhile goal in life as a male that will become a man, try to be a feminist ally. Maybe start by reading something like The End of Patriarchy: Radical Feminism for Men. Choose to be a good ally to women and girls throughout your life.

men created patriarchal structures to freely use womens' reproductive labor power

I can't recommend Lerner's Creation of the Patriarchy enough for this. An amazon reviewer sums up her thesis well:

>The struggle to control nature through agriculture created a shift toward patriarchy. Lerner reveals that it was women's reproductive capacity that men wanted to control for economic reasons. Children became an asset. Their labor was needed to till the soil and shepherd the herds. Certain "ecological conditions and biological irregularities" that threatened the survival of the tribe also contributed to viewing women's bodies as a commodity that could be exchanged with tribes, and acquired through tribal warfare leading to female slavery, concubinage, wives being subordinate to their husbands, and class formation. Lerner traces the rise of male power, the reification of women as the private property of men with the eventual subordination of women (and some men) through the codes and laws of the state, which dehumanized women in order to institutionalize male dominated hierarchies.

it all boils down to biology I think

So much going on here that doesn't even have to do with the ethics of paying Cambodian women a fraction of what their US counterparts are paid, which the title already points out.

1. Can you imagine the environmental impact of freezing, transporting, pasteurizing, and then further transporting all this?

2. Of course it's men profiting off of this. Of course it is. White Christian heteros who figured out how to exploit women while on a mission trip, in fact!

3. (This is where I fear some readers of this sub will be prepared to fight me, but here goes.) Almost all of what we think we know about the benefits of breastmilk is overblown anyway. Here's a great book about this and a variety of similar birth and motherhood myths: Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting by Amy Tuteur Link edited because I'd accidentally used my VPN location's Amazon, whoops.

Showtime is now developing their debut memoir, <em>Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story</em>, into a television series, <em>Variety</em> reports. With the working title Sissy, the show would chronicle the adventures of Tobi Gibran, a nonbinary college graduate who moves from small-town North Carolina to New York City in search of a queer utopia.

&#x200B;

LOLLL this will peak more people imo. IDK when NYC will get over itself and realize most people aren't into their "value" system of anything flies. I agree with other's in the comments: what a trite boring show.

Anyone interested in learning more information about this case should check out “TrafficKing: The Jeffrey Epstein case” by investigative reporter Conchita Sarnoff. >

> https://www.amazon.com/dp/1798136376/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_GaVtDbD87PNS9

> She’s the one who tracked down the FAA pilot logs showing the passengers on Epstein’s private jet.

Yes!!!!!!!!! Totally thought of The Gift of Fear too!!!

For anyone interested, the PDF is here. Enjoy!

we need to start using hooktube links on this subreddit so we don't give revenue to the TRAs that are linked here.

https://hooktube.com/watch?time_continue=35&amp;v=6LnYJi_64a0

I recently read Lundy Bancroft's book on abusive men: "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men", and I was really impressed with it.

It totally opened my eyes to men's abusiveness, and dispelled a lot of the misconceptions that I had about men's harmful and cruel behavior. (It also honestly helped me wrap my head around how contradictory the men who espouse gender identity are (Riley Dennis, Zinnia Jones, Contrapoints, etc), because once you get down to it they're just another flavor of abusive man)

I made this little review video to encourage people to check the book out if they've never heard of it before.

Link to the book on Lundy's website (2nd book down from top of page): http://lundybancroft.com/books/

Link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

http://the-eye.eu/public/Books/Radical%20Feminist%20Literature/Gavin%20de%20Becker/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20%28123%29/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20-%20Gavin%20de%20Becker.pdf Indeed it is :-)

I was pretty surprised to see them mention the emotional labor Metafilter post I read that post over the course of several days and it seems like that should ah-ha moment for them, like, "Women don't actually enjoy emotional labor, or feeling pressured to do certain things that fit into their role as females and therefore servants". But I suppose that would have been too self aware.

>I like some anime but please deliver me back to the time when being a nerd meant hanging out with tabletop neckbeards who had read fifteen rulebooks back to back.

Do it! I found a group of nice guys (with a couple of girls) on meetup.com in my area and we play every weekend now. It's great fun. The men are normal, nice, well adjusted men - they're not feminists or anything, they're pretty socially conservative actually, but on the flipside they're not constantly talking about drawn or IRL porn, their fetishes or other nasty shit.

Like I said, I'm so glad I'm through with cosplay. My last straw was dealing with a creepy asian dude photographer (the photographers at cons are some of the worst) who followed me around and wouldn't stop ranting about how all girls were "racist" for not wanting to "give him sex" (which apparently we gave to white and black guys every day).

Also, just a note on a common excuse about skimpy cosplays: The common excuse, at least from the girls (and one I used to employ), is that they're only dressed in such a blatantly sexual way because the character they're cosplaying is also dressed like that. This is of course true, but it misses the very obvious question as to why virtually every single female character in a popular anime series is dressed like something from a roleplay porn shoot, and why so many young girls feel compelled to cosplay those particular types of character over and over and over again.

Lesbian acceptance has truly moved backwards. The two beacon of hope, as far as representation are Ellen and Rachel Maddow.

This is what was going down in the 90s:

https://www.amazon.com/Magazine-LESBIAN-Brave-World-Women/dp/B00BPUJ79E New York Magazine (K.D. LANG, LESBIAN CHIC, The Bold, Brave ...

He's a man trapped in a man's body. He is a classic case study and his "journey" has been told thousands of times... if only more people knew about AGP paraphilia.

Theres a concept that Nancy Friday mentioned in Women On Top. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XG31Y2S

>When a boy enters our lives and wants to touch us there, of course it is unthinkable. We couldn’t do such a thing. Why should he? Why does he want to? That a man dreams of parting our lips with his fingers, looking at it, putting his mouth there, is so upsetting to some women that no honey-tongued lover could convince us otherwise. The clitoris, urethra, vagina, and anus have come to be thought of as one filthy, indistinguishable mass “down there.” This kind of thinking is called the Cloaca Concept. Cloaca is Latin for sewer.
>
>I can’t remember the name of the doctor or analyst who first used the term Cloaca Concept, but I remember my own emotional jolt of recognition. I was gathering material for My Secret Garden, and I could imagine the women who were contributing, oh so hesitantly, to my research twenty years ago feeling just that way about their genitals—a “sewer,” something to be touched with the utmost hesitation.

Friday, Nancy. Women on Top (p. 56). RosettaBooks. Kindle Edition.

Al lot of men are still at that stage, I'm sure this has a lot to do with the trend for shaving.

Of course having a hairy bum crack is far more common in men. I'm told...

You're not alone in this at all. Women are taught to compete for male demand from a very early age, and when your interest is primarily in gaining approval from them and not other women, there's not really a reason to not throw other women under the bus.

I'm a bit too tired to make much more of a post right now, so I'll just leave you with this book I saw someone else link here before regarding this subject, if you're really interested in why this all goes on.

Former college composition instructor here. While I would expect unknown persons to be referred to generically unless there was a good reason to do otherwise (you're discussing an all-girls team or you're talking about patients getting vasectomies), I'd balk at referring to an individual whose sex is known by generic pronouns. It's unspecific, it's distracting, it can lead to confusion, and it's needless virtue-signaling in a context where such is, in most cases, entirely inappropriate.

Novice writers can barely handle pronouns as it is -- pronoun-antecedent agreement, subjective approaches, and abstract prose are arguably the three most common problems in college writing. Expecting student writers to switch from the specific "him" or "her" to "them" makes it that much harder for them and their reviewers to keep track of what the hell they're trying to say.

Zinsser, in On Writing Well, addresses this in his section on Sexism (begins page bottom of page 95 in the linked PDF). I think he does a fantastic job of balancing concerns regarding sexist and even "innocently" gendered language with issues of style and composition and readability. (Coincidentally, this is the one book on writing that I recommend. -- it's the only one I'll teach from and it's all but required reading for my employees.) If any of you happen to be familiar or take a peek at the section, I'd appreciate your thoughts.

The psycho-sexual nature of the male creator shouldn't be a surprise:

Her Past Unchained ‘The Secret History of Wonder Woman,’ by Jill Lepore https://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/24/books/the-secret-history-of-wonder-woman-by-jill-lepore.html?_r=1

"William Moulton Marston (1893-1947). He was a Harvard graduate, a feminist [very questionable] and a psychologist who invented the lie detector test. He was also a huckster, a polyamorist (one and sometimes two other women lived with him and his wife), a serial liar and a bondage super-enthusiast."

How into fettering was Marston? Allow Ms. Lepore to count the ways, in a long but fascinating passage that shows off her neatnik prose style.

“Not a comic book in which Wonder Woman appeared, and hardly a page, lacked a scene of bondage. In episode after episode, Wonder Woman is chained, bound, gagged, lassoed, tied, fettered and manacled. She’s locked in an electric cage. She’s winched into a straitjacket, from head to toe. Her eyes and mouth are taped shut. She’s roped and then coffined in a glass box and dropped into the ocean. She’s locked in a bank vault. She’s tied to railroad tracks. She’s pinned to a wall. Once, so that she can be both entirely bound and movable, her fettered feet are welded to roller skates. ‘Great girdle of Aphrodite!’ she cries. ‘Am I tired of being tied up!’ ”

I don't have any advice -- I just wanted to offer support and encouragement. I find myself suggesting this book more often lately, but "Toxic Parents" really helped me work through a lot of issues with my own parent. It's not specifically about narc parents but rather toxic and abusive behaviors in general and how we can learn to set healthier boundaries to protect ourselves.

Lol men so desperate to not look like rapists they tell lies like this. Go back to your gullible male subs. Your sources are fucking hilarious btw we're smarter than your bros so you'll have to try harder than anonymous paperback fiction lol you've made my day with that.

just so everyone knows his "source" that rapes are rare https://www.amazon.com/Perverting-Course-Justice-Hilarious-Shocking/dp/1906308047 hahahahaha

Decided to read a bit from McKinnon's twitter where McKinnon linked to their most recent article, and geez please tell me most of the humanities and philosophy have higher standards than this.

This apparently made it through peer review: https://www.academia.edu/20308842/The_Epistemology_of_Propaganda

It reads like a twitter thread chain. No fewer than four references to "theterfs.com" as a source, calling things "bullshit," using that one quote from de Beauvoir that trans people actually know out of context and mangling its meaning, and mixing up "it's" with "its." And I could go on. This is trans scholarship? People are flying McKinnon around to present on this? Just, wow.

Have you downloaded the Reddit Enhancement Suite? It adds a number of user-driven options and offers an 'ignore' function when you put your cursor over a person's username. Very helpful for blocking people!

https://redditenhancementsuite.com/

It's a start. Let's see it enforced. I don't doubt, though, that many of those children will be murdered to keep from identifying their attacker(s). With over 1B people* and dangerous overcrowding, life is obviously considered cheap in India by some.

• http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/india-population/

Alright. Everyone knows I’ve posted this a million times, but I’m gonna post it again.

The Gift of Fear

This book has saved lives. Every woman should read it.

And yes, addressing your question, I wish they would teach mandatory martial arts or self defense classes to young girls and women, starting from a young age...

Jack the Slob and the Goddess of Love By Leslie Fish

Jack the slob to Venus prayed
Grant this night I shall get laid

Venus said "That shall I do"
But first three things I'd ask of you

Go clean your teeth and bod and hair
and change that week old underware

Then put on clothes flattering you
a clean t-shirt and jeans will do

Next if a maid you would impress
pray do not drewel down her chest

Jack replied "No thank you, ma'am"
"Send one who'll take me as I am"

The Goddess said "I'll tell thee what"
"Though I should kick thy lazy butt"

"Perhaps t'would be more fitting, far
to send one who'll take you as you are"

"Go at once to the city zoo
and there you'll find the mate for you

Thense he went with hopes held high
until the ape house he came nigh

There a maiden him did view
and she was struck with passion true

Her hair was long, her looks were free
Indeed she was a lovely chimpanzee

She lept the fense err he could run
and seised him boldly by the bun

She dragged him boldly to her lair
for all that I know he may still be there

So lazy swaines, you'd best beleive
You should not get the Goddess peived.

&#x200B;

Available here.

This is not my original post, but I joined OP in sending some and now I am sharing!

Here's the best price on wire hangers with Prime. https://www.amazon.com/ProCare-Strong-Silver-Galvanized-Hangers/dp/B015RXAFZY/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=UYU3BOEYTWCZ&amp;keywords=dry+cleaner+hangers+wire&amp;qid=1555294593

Consider working through this book if you haven't already: Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse

This book is backed up by scientific research showing that even single sections provide a benefit. Anecdotally, it helped me get started making a turn in a better direction. I had gotten to the point of drinking half a bottle of vodka daily.

One night I was so restless and filled with anxiety that something finally cracked and I started falling apart. It took another couple of years but now I'm doing SO much better! I'm so glad I started getting sober the moment I did!

It seemed like it would be so much time before I would feel better. I felt hopeless. I'm so glad that I did it anyway. Im so grateful that I kept my body alive! Life is getting better now and I really hope that you and everyone else suffering with addiction will find that crack that helps you find a way put. Addiction is terrible.

Part of what went on back then is actually documented in this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Gendertrolling-How-Misogyny-Went-Viral/dp/1440833176

See p. 32 which you can read in the free preview - targeted for talking about women's rights. Cheryl was one of the major bloggers back then who was taken out - the book sites 2007, so that must have been the year the attacks started, but as I said, this went on for a long time, multiple sites and women were attacked, women would try to set up new sites after losing their old sites and then those sites would be attacked too etc.

The whole book is worth a read.

Edit: the whole book isn't about what happened to radical feminist blogs, that is just used as one case study out of many to explore the violence and misogyny women experience online.

GAH thank you for understanding! It's been hard to find the specific overlap of RF and MeFi but seriously MeFi has been a very important community to me for SO LONG (well only since 2011 so not as long as you!) and I am absolutely shocked at their stance on gender/sex.

My most recent angering thread is here: [http://www.metafilter.com/169830/an-informal-inquiry#7189738!]

Lol! Nope! But I highly recommend reading The Spinster and Her Enemies, by Sheila Jeffreys ;)

https://smile.amazon.com/Spinster-Her-Enemies-Sheila-Jeffreys/dp/1875559639?sa-no-redirect=1

Sounds like a good read, thanks for mentioning it.

Who Cooked Adam Smith's Dinner?: A Story of Women and Economics

>How do you get your dinner? That is the basic question of economics. When economist and philosopher Adam Smith proclaimed that all our actions were motivated by self-interest, he used the example of the baker and the butcher as he laid the foundations for 'economic man.' He argued that the baker and butcher didn't give bread and meat out of the goodness of their hearts. It's an ironic point of view coming from a bachelor who lived with his mother for most of his life ― a woman who cooked his dinner every night.

>Nevertheless, the economic man has dominated our understanding of modern-day capitalism, with a focus on self-interest and the exclusion of all other motivations. Such a view point disregards the unpaid work of mothering, caring, cleaning and cooking. It insists that if women are paid less, then that's because their labor is worth less. Economics has told us a story about how the world works and we have swallowed it, hook, line and sinker. This story has not served women well. Now it's time to change it.

>A kind of femininst Freakonomics, Who Cooked Adam Smith’s Dinner? charts the myth of economic man ― from its origins at Adam Smith's dinner table, its adaptation by the Chicago School, and its disastrous role in the 2008 Global Financial Crisis ― in a witty and courageous dismantling of one of the biggest myths of our time.

I don't have an eating disorder, but this book may be helpful. (maybe someone more knowledgeable than me can comment?)

I have a lot of respect for the author, Hillary McBride. She discovered radical feminism when she had an eating disorder and that community played a part in helping her find a way out of it. She's a professional therapist and academically active, as well as being the feminist therapist on the Feminist Current website. Below is a link to her book on eating disorders.

https://www.amazon.ca/Mothers-Daughters-Body-Image-Ourselves/dp/1682613542/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1491784426&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=hillary+mcbride

Following the pattern of Brock Turner, I was curious to see how other subs reacted to the news OP posted, so I looked it up. If this article underlined the infuriating white and moneyed privilege, I don't know what levels of fury one comment in a different thread led me to:

>Richards is a great-grandson of the chemical magnate Irenee du Pont. He received an eight-year prison sentence in 2009 for raping his toddler daughter, but the sentencing order signed by a Delaware judge said "defendant will not fare well" in prison and the eight years were suspended. Source

What the fucking hell. These people need to be completely castrated, and not just the testicles.

> People keep throwing around "social construct" and they don't even understand what that means...

absolutely. If you were to ask one of them to explain what they mean, they couldn't. I think we often mistakenly build arguments like this "Biological sex can't be a social construct because it's a scientific fact" but in reality, it has no effect if those same people don't learn the definition of social construct as well.

Here is the encyclopedia.com page for any lurkers: http://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences-and-law/sociology-and-social-reform/sociology-general-terms-and-concepts/social-3

Just because a TOS allows them to act as censors doesn't mean it's magically not censorship.

<strong>censor</strong> (n)

1. an official who examines books, plays, news reports, motion pictures, radio and television programs, letters, cablegrams, etc., for the purpose of suppressing parts deemed objectionable on moral, political, military, or other grounds.

2. any person who supervises the manners or morality of others.

3-5 are historical / obscure definitions

as a verb (used with object)

1. to examine and act upon as a censor.

2. to delete (a word or passage of text) in one's capacity as a censor.

You could get something like these. You could also wear a bralette. They’re a little more comfortable than your typical bras.

Their latest example post makes it clear they are targeting lesbians. They consider any disagreement from what they believe about trans issues to be signs of TERFdom, even when the person in question says things that clearly go against radfem ideology. I don't know any radfem who would call groups of women "scum women", for example.

You can report abuse here: https://www.tumblr.com/abuse

But it seems like tumblr enables and supports this kinds of harassment.

Are you on mobile? I think it can only be done on desktop unfortunately. But, as SpectacularFactor said, you can download RES to add more options to use on Reddit, including tagging and highlighting users, filtering subreddits, and other features.

I lolled at how clueless some of the announcements about this were. https://www.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58135b5de4b0390e69cf7b87/

>Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is proving that being a feminist and loving make-up aren’t mutually exclusive.

Lol!!! Does anyone on the Internet actually think this?? I'm rememinded of how people were saying that Sarah Palin is 'proving' that 'you can be tough and feminine!!1' back in 2008. Jesus. I think more people would be shocked to hear that wearing makeup/ buying shit are not 'feminist' acts. Too bad there isn't any $$$ in that message.

my cycling team (all women) is getting into stacy sims... i think she might be more of what you're looking for:

podcast on training peaks: https://www.trainingpeaks.com/coach-blog/coachcast-optimizing-physiology-with-stacy-sims/

book all my teammates are passing around: https://www.amazon.com/ROAR-Fitness-Physiology-Optimum-Performance/dp/1623366860

May I suggest something? Splurge on something nice and pampering for the person who's been mothering the neglected, abused child inside you: you.

Get your mom a card or some flowers if you want, also, but do something nice for yourself. Mothering ourselves after a lifetime of hurt is one of the toughest, but also most rewarding, jobs.

Also a book suggestion, if you're interested: Toxic Parents, by Dr. Susan Forward.

I recall a "computer for dummy" book "for her". I found a reference in french only https://www.amazon.fr/PC-POUR-NULLES-FRANCOISE-OTWASCHKAU/dp/2754007695

They are insisting they don't go on the complicated stuff, like networking. They focus instead on the playful stuff like internet and social network ��.

When i saw this book on the shelve at Wal-Mart, i told my father that it was horribly sexist. He dare to tell me that it was probably adapted for women ( my ladybrain is WTF??), but that the quality of the content was probably as good af the men's version. The men's version was a really big book and the women was a tiny one. Of course they have the same info :/

Related recommended reading: The Plutonium Files: America's Secret Medical Experiments in the Cold War, by Eileen Welsome. https://www.amazon.com/Plutonium-Files-Americas-Medical-Experiments/dp/0385314027/

As to OP, see the recent successful lawsuit over Monsanto's Roundup. All the usual abuses of capitalism are rearing their ugly heads. The gig economy is growing and brutal, a global race to the bottom for workers' wages and job safety, just as predicted in the WTO protests in 1999.

I loved this book and think you might enjoy it too. I'm not advertising or any thing. LOL Elsa I Come With My Songs: Elsa Gidlow I wish I could have been a lesbian. I tried, but the libido was not in it. At this point in my life I am almost male free, except for a close male relative. I truly wish I had gone that route when I was younger. It's very freeing.

Yes, I use they/them to avoid "the generic he", as in "Each student will bring their book to class each day". They/them used in such cases has been around for hundreds of years and should be made an acceptable grammar option, already.

Let's face it, using they/them flows much more smoothly than the awkward "his or her", "he or she", and the abomination "s/he".

But, for pronouns for someone whose sex is known. I'm with you - no they/them for that!

Oh, and thanks for the link to the PDF copy of On Writing Well. I bookmarked it for future use. :)

No kidding. Obviously have not read about MichFest.

The "organizer" is a Swedish comedian and it's been a year since this was announced: https://edition.cnn.com/2017/07/07/europe/sweden-music-fest-trnd/index.html

This guy's a conservative independent in a Republican area. No one on the left would stand a chance in the Oregon 2nd. Super rural, home of the Bundy standoff.

I am not a fan of Meliana Trump. I would agree that her relationship with Donald is transactional in nature. I would also agree that "hoebag" is an underhanded and just bizarre attack. Why not attack Donald himself for having to pay for sex? Looks like this contemptuous little prick Roberts is doubling down and invited "that hoebag" to sue him. I hope he get dragged.

I also think sex positivity and support for sex workers is irrelevant. The people who will come to her defense would not want to suggest that the FLOTUS is some kind of 'empowered' high-end sex worker anymore than they would suggest that Donald himself is a high-end money launderer from Queens. If anything, her helplessness and voicelessness, her public humiliation through Donald's infidelities, testifies to how disempowering sex work can become.

Not to diminish the dickishness of all this but I just want to point out that this is pretty tame compared to the truly horrific things people on the right said about Michelle Obama. I'll always feel indignant about all the shit that was flung at her with total impunity. I can't find the tweet now but, during the beginning of the Trump regime, when Meliana Trump insisted on living in the NYC Trump Tower with a publicly-funded security detail instead of the White House, someone commented that if Michelle Obama insisted on living in a golden tower at taxpayer expense, white people would have burned this country to the ground. Every time I find myself feeling bad for Meliana - like that time last week when her staff had to notify the press that she'll watch &quot;'any channel she wants'&quot; after Donald threw a tantrum that she was watching CNN and not FOX - that's what I think about.

Various things. Unknowable because we are not human but strange alien things who operate outside logic and reason. Witchery, enchantments, spell-casting beings. Ridiculous creatures that even mange to baffle top scientific minds

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/jan/04/stephen-hawking-women-complete-mystery

One step away from "b*tches be crazy"

We can get #TBLG PRIDE t-shirts that read, "time to put transgender first." The woman's cost 2$ more than the man's shirt (and for some reason that made me laugh).

Please read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

If you can get your mother to read it, it would be great. Buying her a copy is probably a risky idea, maybe send her a link once she has a laptop? Assuming your father doesn't have access to it? Please keep in mind that abuse tends to escalate when the abuser feels his victim might be getting ready to leave him, it's the most dangerous time for her.

Terf bangs are a great start. I shall fluff my leg hair.

Here you go for the 'stache: https://www.amazon.com/Mustaches-Adhesive-Novelty-Black-Color/dp/B00S3ZHHLO/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1528833437&amp;sr=8-14&amp;keywords=faux+mustaches

Anyone who enjoyed this talk will be delighted to hear that Cordelia has a book out called Delusions of Gender, which is excellent and, redundantly, has made a lot of men very upset.

I'd recommend the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. It's all about how habits work and how they can be changed. I've been reading it to help shore up my new year's resolutions and it's got lots of great advice for how to reprogram bad habits.

I don't know if there will be a next time for you, but if there is, these 2 books might be helpful for that next guy:
Come as You Are,
She Comes First.

Some men can learn to do better.

this is intricately linked with 'queer'

this is a book aimed at NHS doctors

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sexuality-Gender-Mental-Health-Professionals/dp/085702843X

it is written by a transsexual doctor who works for the NHS gender service, and Meg John Barker, who is an Open University lecturer who writes books like 'Understanding Your Gender' and 'Life Isn't Binary'

The book which you can 'Search Inside' says that doctors should not judge these fetishes as they are perfectly ok and a safe way for people who were sexually abused to explore sex

that's the #1 reason why I am an aspiring minimalist, clutter affects my mood and makes me feel overwhelmed. I'm a SAHM so I'm home a lot and I need it to not be an assault on my senses. The added benefits are shortened cleaning time, environmental/less stuff ending up in landfills, and not having to carry it up my 3rd floor walkup

a lot of minimalism I've looked at is a sausage fest this guy basically has an empty apartment but he cry cried about getting rid of his porn collection and like I want my guests to be comfortable in my home so I have some nice dishes and plates and I'm not going to have a mattress on the floor or anything so I found Cozy Minimalist Home helpful.

I read a book a few months ago that touched on that point (the author seemed like an ass though). The gist was that as we've shifted away from work with tangible things, we've lost our sense of purpose and meaning in our work. A report on a business goal can be changed and tweaked to the point that any result appears like a success. But if you build a wooden table and it's not level, it's objectively not a success. Making it level brings you fulfillment because you've succeeded at something with no abstraction, unlike the other guy who can just move the goalposts in their fantasy world. We can grow most at the level with the least abstraction.

Top notch post there Ms EquivalentApple! I second the recommendation to read The Gift of Fear

Okay ya, I don’t agree with most of what your saying. Frist off evolutionary phycology isn’t real science because it’s all just theory and can’t be backed up. So in all honesty is BS that sounds logical so people just go with it.

Secondly women don’t just “go off sex” it has more to do with attachment and “male as default” sexual desire being the standard. Please read come as you are by Dr. Emily Nagoski. It’s the most up to date science backed book on female sexuality. The truth is our society prizes male sexual desire standard of “spontaneous” desire over the female norm of “responsive” desire. It also goes into the dual control model of human sexuality, and destroys the myth of a “sex drive”.

Lastly alpha/bate is a really big lie that has been being perpetuated for the last 5 decades. The idea of the “alpha” male comes from Rudolph Schenkel an animal behaviorist in the 1940’s and David Mech in the 1970. Mech who wrote a book on his theory. People (I mean men) took this idea and started to apply it to humans. Unfortunately Mech (and Schenkel) were both wrong, and Mech spent the rest of his life trying to correct this belief. In truth when he wrote the original book he was studying wolfs in captivity. However in the wild the “pack” is actually just a single family and the “alpha’s” were actually just the parents. He discovered this discrepancy after going back to study for a follow up book.

They might be trying that kind of stuff, but they're not very good at it. Anyway, to go along with all the other evidence, Franken hasn't denied it, so I'm pretty comfortable saying he's just a scumbag. It sucks, and I liked him too and thought he was a good Senator, but I'm not going to throw any women under the bus for him.

Here's a link to part of the recording of the broadcast. One file is JY calling in, the 2nd file is a member of the JCCF giving his view of the incident. A listener called in after this to give their opinion on the case and JY called again after that to attempt to defend himself but was cut off by the host. They will also be replaying this segment tonight at 9PM from what I've heard.

Oh yeah, it's libertarian bullshit for sure. This is her book: https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Margins-Migration-Markets-Industry/dp/1842778609/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1481336883&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=laura+agustin

EDIT: jesus fuck I am screaming about this Amazon review of it:

> The whole notion of "migrants" is deeply class biased; no one ever called an Indian bond trader working in New York a migrant. But he or she has travelled for the same reasons as dishwashers, nannies, and strippers - to make money, for sure, but also to see the world, or escape suffocating origins.

...what do you even say to something like this? What did I just read? Obviously there are class differences between bond traders and strippers and it would be INSANE to ignore the differences. The fuck are these people smoking?

EDIT2 (SORRY I JUST CAN'T GET OVER THESE REVIEWS): Another reviewer goes on to compare her to Emma Goldman and calls the book a classic! I'm just gonna leave this here (Goldman was decidedly anti-state interference in prostitution buuuttt she still wants it eradicated/calls it a social evil, etc): https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/goldman/works/1910/traffic-women.htm

I once played a game in which you have to help a little girl escape the brothel. I usually have fun playing games but this one left me with emotions of fear and empathy towards the trapped victims. Here's the game if anyone's interested:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.MissingLinkTrust.Missing

If someone suggests that they might be wrong, it's easier for them to twist their arguments and everything else they say into something negative. It's "bitch eating crackers" on ~~steroids~~ testosterone. It's easier to pretend to not understand someone than entertain the idea they might be right. But the primary issue is that their whole sense of self is entirely based upon external validation, which is a signature trait of narcissism.

I just read the thread at metafilter. And btw for anybody who doesn't know, one of the moderators over there is trans. LobsterMittens, who sits on any trans thread like a hawk and deletes everything which isn't 100% yay trans.

Here's the thread for anybody who is interested but it's boring. Lobster has decided that the only permitted comments are those praising the author and those castigating Dolezal.

http://www.metafilter.com/166431/The-Heart-of-Whiteness-Ijeoma-Oluo-Interviews-Rachel-Dolezal

More academic trans claptrap, I see. Glad to see the commenters were more sensible. This libertarian FtT needs to get a grip and stop constantly shilling her skinny 208 pages of wasted-paper which hardly anyone but trans are lapping up. #315,863 in Books and #54 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Civil Rights (Amazon needs to tease out trans from LG, since they're not even close)

https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Trans-Does-Gender-Matter/dp/1479855405/ref=sr_1_1_det?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1493258529&amp;sr=8-1#productPromotions

It's up for about 25 days

If you are not in UK, Private Internet Access is a decent VPN

I really enjoy this thread; it's a great place to pick up recommendations. :)

I'm currently reading Cranford, which is hilarious and touching, but nothing revolutionary. Although it has almost entirely female characters, they will insist on talking about men a lot of the time. Still, it's enjoyable fluff.

I read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning a couple of weeks ago and it was precisely what I needed when I needed it. Not feminist, but I highly recommend it to anyone who's interested in the mind. Frankl survived Auschwitz and went on to become a founding father of logotherapy, and his main tenet is that rather than asking what is the meaning of our lives, we are asked to give meaning to our lives by being responsible for ourselves. He also doesn't at all like the fashion for needing to be happy all the time.

I also watched the Baz Luhrmann Romeo + Juliet just recently, having not read or seen the play since I was a young teenager, and... yeah, watching it again with adult eyes, I'm shocked that this is held up as the greatest love story in the English language. Has anyone got any good critical readings to direct me to? I first took it as really creepy, then wondered if it's meant to be a send-up of other romantic tragedies, and then someone told me it might be a metaphor for homosexuality and now I am thoroughly confused.

I use Flo, it's excellent. I really like the "health insights", I've been learning a lot! The icon is pink, but you can set your own background (and if you know how, you can change the icon). And you can set a goal, such as cycle tracking; if your goal is pregnancy, the app will show you more content related to that.

WHOA. Yeah let's talk about this. How does this stuff work, will he go to trial? What does it mean (legally) that the victim filed a complaint for rape? I'd like to see some official documents, too.

https://www.scribd.com/doc/316341058/Donald-Trump-Jeffrey-Epstein-Rape-Lawsuit-and-Affidavits#fullscreen?platform=hootsuite

This one was linked from the article but I can't say I really understand the legal significance.

Here's the full video (I think), but I can't watch it because I'm not in the UK: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0003f2f/storyville-the-internets-dirtiest-secrets-the-cleaners

Anyone have another site? I managed to find a YouTube link in another language with English subtitles, but it was removed due to copyright infringement.

In a way, I don't disagree with this. I mean, schools are an educational environment and they've been using the terms 'girls' and 'boys' wrong. They're defined on the basis of sex, not identity. (12) So, if they're not going to use them correctly, and they're just going to confuse and misinform children, maybe it's better if they just don't use them at all?

That said, it would be preferable if an educational environment behaved in line with its own inherent purpose and used these terms correctly, rather than not using them at all. After all, if we stopped using words just because someone, somewhere existed who was offended by them, no one would ever speak again.

I've been using this app for years: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.popularapp.periodcalendar&amp;hl=en_US

Still works really well for me.

> in even countries like Iran, math and engineering are not seen as "mens" fields solely

Fields Medal, the most prestigious award in mathematics ("the mathematician's Nobel Prize"), is awarded once every 4 years. The last winner of the prize, in the year 2014, was Maryam Mirzakhani, an Iranian woman. She died this year of breast cancer, at age 40.

Iran was highly stratified at the time of the Islamic counterrevolution, in 1979, particularly between city and countryside. There was a huge braindrain. The Iranian diaspora, consequentially, is known for having a high concentration of educated professionals.

The ugly truth is that a lot of women in Iran go to university not to get a profession but to get a fiancé. It could also be simply for enjoyment or to ramp up one's social status, or maybe their husbands don't want them to work outside the home, but the fact is that it's very common for female graduates in Iran to never enter the workforce.

> Anyway, just because there are less women in these fields does not mean that women are innately worse at it.

Before 1984 the percentage of female Computer Science majors was rising in tendem with other professions (medicine, law, physical sciences). Then something happened, and the CS curve diverged from the other curves -- not only stalled but went on a decline.

Transgender people receiving social and legal acceptance and safety is highly compatible with (radical or liberal) feminism, but any ideology that believes in innate gender must necessarily be in opposition to the underpinnings feminism, since feminism has always been about smashing and abolishing the stereotypes and limitations that definitionally are what "gender" is.

The Right is not our friend and their reasons for opposing (e.g.) bathroom self-identification are not the same as ours.

Though the liberal feminists will do whatever they can to undermine and erase female successes, they are still "better" than the Right in terms of policies they support overall.

This is a link to a chart with several stances with how liberal, radical and anti-feminist groups feel about them: https://gofile.io/d/v8PA3J

Even the 60s weren't as bad. Look at the favorite 1960s album covers which, true, were mainly all male bands and singers, but not one naked woman. There was a naked male backside, though... Even if the bands themselves were sometimes pedophilic and sexist assholes, they didn't always advertise it in their product, even though sometimes if I paid enough attention, the lyrics made me cringe.

http://www.listal.com/list/favorite-album-covers-1960s-stephenhkoontz

http://www.metafilter.com/151870/ciswashing-whitewashing-Stonewall

Metafilter 'discussion' for those who aren't lucky enough to have friends debating this on facebook. The thread turns into a lot of posters lecturing a gay man who was actually alive when Stonewall happened about his white cis privilege because he doesn't think it's right to ignore the role of Storme DeLarverie or all the other lesbians and gay men in Stonewall. Amazing.

Here's a free PDF copy of the book, for those who can't afford it.

> harriet fraad did a podcast/radio show with Richard wolff

cheers! haven't listened yet, but I think this must be it https://player.fm/series/series-1056803/economic-update-womens-movement-economics

yeah, I've been trying to do stuff on the left in Britain & have been annoyed with the older men [expectations that women will take the minutes bc "ladies know short hand"]. The younger men see through that but tend to get quite worked up about "terfs", so that's great

I am interested in minds https://www.minds.com/ as it's meant to be more "free speech"y. I'm not sure how popular it is at the moment, I know Magdalen Berns uses it. Maybe that would make a backup at least?

Of course! I actually got it because I've always been into art, but always had a special place in my heart for pencil sketching & it was just something new I wanted to learn about. She begins by explaining the industry & how it's changed in modern times... which honestly was semi disappointing to hear cause that was a type of work I wanted to look into, but it seems like an industry losing to tech, since programs with pre loaded images/ features, can be utilized by cops to save $ ... however; not that it's completely lost either, you just need to excel, cause artists have certain skills to listen, then capture appearances. I guess you could say it's one of those things only certain people may have a knack for... & if so, then it could be something to persue. I appreciate her honesty about the challenges - it's refreshing.

I'll link to Amazon, because it'll give you a preview. I wanted to explain it a bit though, because it moves pretty quickly, past what I mentioned, going into forensic art history, then onto actually techniques/ examples, even the different methods (sculpture, drawings, etc) It's pretty good for anyone looking for an introduction into the whole topic. What's really neat, is that she also explains the differences in race, sex, age, & how that can be determined, down to determining skin thickness!

Anyway, enough of my rambling! It's called "Ask a forensic artist" by Lisa Bailey

Ask a forensic artist

compassion and kindness? I don't know if it works in every case, but there are certain examples where it has worked.

Daryl Davis is one example. He started befriending KKK members and changed some minds.

Christian Picciolini, an ex-white-nationalist, now spends his time reaching out to white nationalists trying to get them out of the movement.

These are just a couple examples, and I'm sure there are women-centred examples, too. Unfortunately the only ones I'm coming up off the top of my head are men, so I'll leave it at that.

I think listening to people and finding out what they need/want is a great way to combat a lot of problems. And kindness can go a long way. I've seen people back down from arguments (both online and in person) as soon as someone acted compassionately towards them. I don't think this is just anecdotal. What do you think?

Multiple named eyewitnesses have testified to it, different ones in different media. Channel 4's eyewitness said it was "put Britain first", which still calls the killer's choice of language into question. Even I've had to tell my family over and over to fucking stop reposting their shit on Facebook, and they're not actually raving rightwingers, they're just apolitical. Everyone knows about BF.

In the Telegraph:

>Clarke Rothwell said that, as the man stabbed Mrs Cox, he shouted: "Britain First, Britain First, Britain First."

In the Guardian:

>Graeme Howard, 38, who lives in nearby Bond Street, told the Guardian he heard the man shout “Britain first” before the shooting and during the arrest.

Nobody seems to remember anything else he said.

No one can fix abusive men who don't want to fix themselves. And it's not her damn job. Send her a copy of Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That and maybe she can see his red flags and leave his ass. And take her money with her!

This wasn't actually an experiment in fascism, as it didn't contain the 14 points of fascism. I see it more as an exercise in authoritarianism, which is not the same. Umberto Eco outlined them: http://www.openculture.com/2016/11/umberto-eco-makes-a-list-of-the-14-common-features-of-fascism.html