Hey. I can understand the difficulty you're having separating the addiction from the human. I had a really hard time doing the same for myself when I was using. I felt like I was an awful person, I was bad, I would never amount to anything, etc while I was using. The drugs take over your brain and your thoughts and convince you that you're the absolute fucking worst.
But it's not a character defect. It's not something that makes you a bad person. It's something that we as people who use drugs do in order to numb from difficult emotions. It's a coping mechanism. I have really bad depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder which specifically makes my feelings so intense and unbearable. Using heroin numbed me out long enough to not care about the internal pain.
Now I've been through enough therapy to know that I'm not bad, I just made bad choices. I'm not worthless, I just felt that way because the drugs hijacked my brain. There's a whole lot of neurological stuff going on with drug addiction.
If you get the chance, I would highly recommend reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Dr. Gabor Maté. It's about his experience treating people addicted to drugs, and he goes into the brain science of it all. I would also suggest watching The Wisdom of Trauma, also about Dr. Gabor Maté, but on the topic of how substance abuse is caused by trauma. You may find it very eye-opening.
About the movie - I would watch it as soon as you can. It's only available to stream for a couple more days at most. It will ask you for a donation - you can watch it for free if you put in $0, it will let you do that. If you can't afford a copy of the book, let me know, I'll mail you mine.
You're doing great!
There are a few products out there for RLS like this one that have really great reviews. There's also one called Restlex that isn't on Amazon. A web search can also help you identify some other supplements that you can take if you're interested in going that route.
Good luck, keep on keepin on!
I think I'm starting to get sick - sore throat, congested head, stuffed up nose - and I'm freaking out because I don't want to be sick on vacation.
I ordered American Kingpin on Amazon for some cruise/beach reading - did any of you follow the story of Ross Ulbricht/"Dread Pirate Roberts" and The Silk Road drug marketplace? I ordered a few times from there years ago when it was still operational. I find it fascinating. Can't wait to read it.
So it's officially been two months since I've tapered, and two months since I had my period. You would think that I would be stable on my sub dose by now, but I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms at night again. I posted on a suboxone taper facebook group asking if anyone had ever done a medically-assisted rapid detox and linked to the website online. I swear, people on facebook are so dumb. They assumed I meant the Waismann Method, or that I was talking about a rapid taper. One person told me to take the money and go on vacation, because tapering "isn't so hard" - if I could punch someone, I would. I feel like I'm being belittled and it's really frustrating.
I’ve only really been able to find it as a dvd purchase on amazon. Pleasure Unwoven: An Explanation of the Brain Disease of Addiction https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003AC98V2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_pZM9zbKTZ5GA0
Im glad your enjoying it. He has a way with words doesn't he? Lol. I like the humor he adds to it. It makes it that much better.
So I updated the Dropbox link and added Unbroken Brain. Just download the ebook, it be at the bottom of the online folder and then download this ebook reader. When you load the book there is a voice icon on the top toolbar. You select that and from there you can change the speed, tone and accent voice to make it sound more natural. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prestigio.ereader
Here's a list of sites that have a huge open source library of free e and audio books. I hope this helps.
Librivox.
Lit2Go.
Loyal Books.
Mind Webs.
Open Culture.
Overdrive.
Podiobooks.
Project Gutenberg
I'm not sure how much these will help, but adding some cayenne tincture to tea/water might warm you up as it dilates the vessels and more blood flows. I like Dr. Schulze and Dr. Christopher the best
Also, this cream is really nice, especially for any joint RLS. Also has cayenne heat.
Man keep that optimism; positivity goes such a long way. There's a book, Man's Search for Meaning, about this psychiatrist's time in concentration camps, and he says something like, "there's a lot you can't control in life, you can't always control what happens to you, but you'll always have the freedom to control what you feel and what you do about what happens to you." Totally paraphrasing but I feel like you embody that! Keep it up!
how's yer sleep, mang??
ugh. finally uploaded the mix, then did something else. then, a day passed; now, here it is. s.k.c. on szolfezs
love you, buddy. have a great weekend!
If people are interested in this type of teaching, this is the book that changed my life.
[advice: this is not a novel and it doesn't matter how fast one reads it. The ideas expressed are what's important. Don't move to the next chapter or idea until you have comprehended the previous one. (I had to reread a few paragraphs every now and then)]
No it’s a kind of vit C that’s paired with fat. Check it out on Amazon here.
Enjoying the lovely Jersey shore this weekend with my family. It is a tad bit cold, but it's still a lot of fun playing board games and hanging out with my family. Never in a million years would I have come with them if I was using, so times like this are really, really special.
I've been doing a lot of research on investing. I plan on setting aside some money this Summer for that purpose. There is so much information to take in, but I'll tell you what, I'm having a lot of fun learning about this stuff. I'm currently reading 'The Intelligent Investor,' which may be a little outdated, but it's definitely a valuable resource to gain some knowledge. I plan on learning a lot before I make any contributions, but if any of you guys have some knowledge you want to share, please let me know. I don't expect to beat the market short-term, but I am planning on some defensive, conservative investments for forty years down the line when I retire.
Anyway, hope everyone has a nice day.
I'm currently reading "The Power of Habit", which has a lot of fascinating insights and science regarding this. One thing I found interesting is that there is a large spike in brain activity when we are deciding whether to enter a habitual behavior, then we enter a state of very low brain activity while executing the habit. Lower brain function, the early-evolution stuff near the center of the brain, takes over.
With good habits, this serves the purpose of freeing us up to contemplate the higher things in life. With bad habits, it steals from us exactly what we need to re-evaluate our behavior: our thoughts, our very mind. It is good to have a mindless urge to brush our teeth, to steer our car, to love our family. Other urges can destroy us with their mindlessness.
Its The Story of Philosophy by Wil Durant, but that's still pretty funny. :D I'm sure we're learning all the same stuff, it begins with Socrates and his pupils, especially Plato. Then Plato's student, Aristotle. That's as far as I've gotten. It's a remarkable read so far.
Try taking 1 or 2 benadryl and having a cup of coffee in the morning man, its only and antihistamine and you won't have allergy problems - hooray! You can also pick up some Chamomile tea, its pretty darn calming and helps you relax. Exercise is helpful, usually I do it without music because then my mind isn't distracted by something and I can get a decent train of thought going. You can also try some supplements if you feel like spending a few bucks, 5-HTP helps naturally regulate your serotonin level and it might give you a bit of mental balance. Also you can pick up phenylalanine which helps regulate your dopamine levels. I don't remember the name of the chemical in Green Tea, but that also helps to stabilize your dopamine as well. Foods high in amino acids naturally contain phenylalanine so if you wanna kill 2 birds with one stone you can eat and get your supplement all in one! Hang in there buddy we're all here and are rooting for you.
Magnesium glycinate for the restless legs, and Best Rest Formula for sleep, or something with similar ingredients. Valerian root in particular is helpful for sleep.
Buffered sodium ascorbate. I have some coming today. I’m on day 5 currently. So hopefully it will help. I read that “buffered” means it will be easier on the stomach. Also got some loperamide just in case too.
The dialated pupils confuse the matter as to what drug he's on. Sounds like he's taking multiple imo.
It's blatantly obvious he's on something. I don't know how much determining what specific drug he's on matter, whether it's opiates or xanax, there's a chance for fentanyl contamination.
If I were you I'd look into contacting a needle exchange/harm reduction program and look into getting some narcan, and review information on how It could save his life. One of these may be useful as well, but you shouldn't need it if you have narcan. Hopefully he'll never need either.
Okay check this out is this the right kind of sodium ascorbate? Visit the Nutribiotic Store 4.8 out of 5 stars919 Reviews NutriBiotic - Sodium Ascorbate Buffered Vitamin C Powder, 2.2 Lb | Vegan, Non-Acidic & Easier on Digestion Than Ascorbic Acid | Essential Immune Support & Antioxidant Supplement | Gluten & GMO Free
NutriBiotic - Sodium Ascorbate Buffered Vitamin C Powder, 2.2 Lb | Vegan, Non-Acidic & Easier on Digestion Than Ascorbic Acid | Essential Immune Support & Antioxidant Supplement | Gluten & GMO Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000I4DOVU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_MDQCDS1JW6TS7TVFT45D
Sodium Ascorbate Buffered Vitamin C Powder. Mega dose it. Take 5 grams every 2-3 hours. You read that right 5 grams not 500 mg. It'll help. Order online if you have an account that has next day delivery. Maybe you can get it at a vitamin store but idk, I ordered online and got it on my doorstep in 30 hours.
I'm in the UK so the idea of insurance blows my mind, thank goodness for the NHS. Yeah that looks good. I have been using these and I believe they are cheaper. Natur Boutique Passion Flower Tea Sachets, 30 g, 20 Count https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B081TFGTHT/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_EQTAF58GYS962XB1QW3Q?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
First off I want you to ask yourself a couple of questions, "Am I a bad person for being an opioid addict?" "Am I hurting anyone due to my addiction?" "Does my drug use bring me happiness?" "Is anyone effected negativily due to my addiction?" If you use drugs because they make you more comfortable and happier and you aren't hurting anyone while doing so, then what's so wrong about it? Is it wrong because society tells you it's wrong? Is it wrong because the "war on drugs" tells you it's wrong? There's a book I think you should read by a man who is a psychologist and neuroscientist, working as the Ziff Professor of Psychology at Columbia University that has recieved many recent awards for his research and is also a heroin addict. For a long time he was a closeted user and never told a soul he was an addict but that only brought shame and guilt to his life. It wasn't until he left go and came out and openly spoke about his addiction and how the only negative it was causing to his life was the negative uneducated, and inexperienced members of society made him feel because of the stigma related to drug addicts. Heroin made him happy, it made him able to deal with life much easier. This is the link to his book currently for sale on Amazon Carl Hart - Drug Use For Grown Ups
>Even after the physical withdrawal phase is over, the mental depression/boredom/anhedonia drives me to use
You need rehab, subs alone won't work long term. Everyone here can 100% confirm you cannot permanently self medicate yourself out of a serious opiate addiction. You have a preference to the substance, you swapped some life coping skills for the drug, you have the mindset of an addict, there are chemical changes in your brain that need to be reversed by unfucking the reward system - all of this requires a rehab therapist.
Please consider checking this book out https://www.amazon.com/Never-Enough-Neuroscience-Experience-Addiction/dp/0385542844 it's written by a neuroscientist who specialized in addiction after overcoming her own drug abuse problems. It explains exactly what's happening to to you and what is going on in your brain.
This is the one I used. I took a tablespoon or so every hour or 2 the first day. I felt better within a couple hours. I was shocked! https://www.amazon.com/NutriBiotic-Ascorbate-Non-Acidic-Antioxidant-Supplement/dp/B000Z8YM7O/ref=sxts_rp_s1_0?crid=Y5ADLT9ME2VA&cv_ct_cx=sodium+ascorbate+powder&keywords=sodium+ascorbate+powder&pd_rd_i=B000Z8YM7O&pd_rd_r=28c8262a-d...
Medcursor Air Compression Leg Massager with Heat, Calf and Foot Massager for Circulation and Fatigue Relief, Home Office Use - 3 Modes, 3 Intensities https://www.amazon.com/dp/B094NG4DVW/ref=cm_sw_r_apanp_NYNvefZOngpeP
Habitrol Nicotine Gum 4mg Mint BULK 384 pieces https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D6S86OA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_ECK37W4VEE03EZE8Z2GY
4mg habitrol from Amazon. 384 pieces for $75. I chew only have at a time. The most cost effective way I’ve found.
I use this product and it helps tremendously (not trying to advertise- I do use it). Garden of Life Raw Organic Meal Replacement Powder - Vanilla, 28 Servings, 20g Plant Based Protein Powder, Superfoods, Greens, Vitamins Minerals Probiotics & Enzymes All-in-One Meal Replacement Shake https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007S6Y74O/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_NJA0J5E373G8HGG7GVRT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
sure, happy to help! https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/transcranial-magnetic-stimulation/about/pac-20384625
The magnetic pulses energize, stimulate and heal/rewire the mood receptors which for many people helps lift mood baseline or even totally heal depression. It doesn't work for everyone but has strong clinical data behind it. I think that's because there are multiple regions/causes for mood disorder. For people who have tried a few classes of depression meds, the therapy is covered by insurance and least in the US. Neurofeedback has similar evidence with anxiety and ADHD. It increases the alpha baseline and reduces beta wave brainwaves from my understanding, the ones that are typically blasting strong when we are anxious or spinning out. It's not really covered by insurance yet in the US but some psychologists are offering on the DL and billing through "anxiety" and other conditions.
Both of these therapies you have to do repetitively over time. That's my current feeling about just about everything that can re-wire the brain from these more modern/technical therapies to things like CBT therapy and even meetings and such. It's really like any other craft. You can't master guitar by practicing for one day! More like 100, 1000, 10,000 days. :)
Thanks and wishing you the best!
I'm guessing you didn't read my full post lol. I ended up buying this Nutribuotic Vitamin C
This helped me when I had terrible RLS from fent use but the only thing that allowed me to get some real sleep was gabapentin. It’s not over the counter but I think it’s relatively easy to get from your doctor for RLS. Mine didn’t have a problem prescribing it at all.
Eyy yo.
Hey, let me know if this link works. This mix is friggin awesome.
http://www.filedropper.com/dnbawesomesauce
It's big tho. 500 megsish. But just non-stop awesome.
I really am starting to really like Chris SU, and Spor and stuff. I recently just discovered Desimal, and do not understand how I have missed his music for all these years. Inspiring zen like music all around. DnB really gets me through the rough patches.
This is the one that I use. There are other ones that may better, so look around.
Was referred by a fellow redditor for kratom here: https://www.ecwid.com/store/platinumbotanicals/
He said they overnight and has always gotten very good quality and reasonable prices. He gave me a sample of a red strain but I have not tried it yet
Analyzing your data through a 3rd party tool can give some pointers as to the roots of mood issues and anxiety. For instance, I'm on a 'medical food' pharmaceutical called 'Deplin' now which has helped immensely. I also under-methylate and SAM-e has been helping as well.
My p-doc tends to only look at the P450 genes/metabolizers and then recommend meds/supplements based on your mutations. They are the CYP genes fwiw.
I love meditation..for me, meditation is sitting on my floor (or lying down, whichever feels best at that time) after drinking a cup or two of kava tea, putting on some nature-esque sounds, praying a bit and freeing my mind from my thoughts by focusing on breathing..it feels beautiful.
I was suggested Headspace app for Android. Probably have it for IOs too.
https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
It is amaaaaazing for meditation. Best guided meditation I have encountered. Very basic so far tho.
Also, as my inclination is leaning towards buddhism, every single book i have read about buddhism and the twelve steps has been so life affirming. You couldnt go wrong checking some of those out.
hello,
my name is hredox, and i would be interested in hearing what you are experiencing. i might not be able to help you directly, but my hope is for my conversation with you to eventually help others.
to learn how you got “addicted”, what you perceive as the risk of getting high with opioids, and what you do to reduce those risk when you have used in the past in exchange for a $20 Amazon gift card.
if you would be interested in chatting, i would like to learn how you got “addicted”, what you perceive as the risk of getting high with opioids, and what you do to reduce those risk.
please reach out by scheduling a meeting with me using my Calendly link (https://calendly.com/hredox/20min), and to show my appreciation i will email you a $20 Amazon gift card after our meeting.
thanks in advance if you volunteer to discuss your past opioid addiction with me. to schedule a 20-minute meeting please click the link above, then one of the blue dates on the calendar located to the left, and then choose a time. after confirming the date and time you will be requested to supply your name and email address. you do not need to use your real name, but please do use an email which you can access, as i will be sending your gift card to that email. after you have scheduled a meeting, i will email you a zoom link for the interview.
thanks,
hredox
It’s a psychedelic-medicinal plant that can act as an addiction interruptor in the sense that it resets your brain back to its preaddicted state. It essentially cut out all cravings for me, while taking away most of the withdrawals. I did have some low energy that those vitamins and some other ones (this and this) have helped my mind/memory continue to heal. The psychedelic “trip” was a whole other experience that helped me work through the issues they lead to my use. Check out r/Ibogaine or PM me for more info on Ibogaine, if you’d like. I wasn’t sure I was gonna feel the rush of happiness again until I went on some rides at our local fair. I realized, ok I can still feel the dopamine/adrenaline rush, it’s just not at my fingertips whenever I take a pill. I started running when I got enough energy and walking when I didn’t and that has helped, too. Go easy on yourself, though. I had to remind myself today that I’d been abusing my mind and body for years, it’s ok to not have it all figured out 2-3 months clean.
You may want to try this. I don’t know if it’s a placebo or not but my mood and energy have increased since I started taking it. I feel pretty much normal now and I’m 50+ days out. I did take ibogaine to get clean, though, sp that may have sped things up a bit for me according to what the doctor at the clinic told me. Hang in there, though, anything is better than going back to fent.
You can do this, man. Have you tried any supplements for the depression? I started taking this and it has helped a lot. Don’t give up!
I buy THIS and it knocks me straight out, taking care of restless legs too. Don't know where you are based, it's a UK brand, so try to find something similar if your are based elsewhere.
Hey, please type in Vitamin C and heroin in reddit and read. Get Vitamin C powder from Amazon... I'll post the link for you..https://www.amazon.com/Thorne-Research-Buffered-Magnesium-Potassium/dp/B005IZIXC4
So every time you start feeling sick and even before you kick you can start taking it, you mix it in with Gatorade and most of your withdrawal will go away.
Now you'll still have to deal with anxiety, depression, and other emotional stuff but at least the worst of it will be hidden and you'll be able to focus on your mind and emotions.
But there's a post on here from someone who actually did it and it works so well. I have the powder and I know it works but I haven't fully kicked yet... i decided to go on methadone for now for cravings and stuff but this is VITAL. ORDER ASAP!
Hyland's Restful Legs has worked for me.
https://www.amazon.com/Restful-Tablets-Hylands-Crawling-Tingling/dp/B00DQK9E5I
Melatonin between 1-5mg works too for sleep.
Best of luck.
This stuff works well for me: Doctor's Best High Absorption Magnesium Glycinate Lysinate https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000BD0RT0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_b3ZWxGhF652bm
I also take Epsom salts bath regularly. I’m going to jump in one now.
Yeah totally. I am taking suboxone right now, just to be transparent as to where I'm at. I'm also pregnant. I've had some slight RLS every now and then related to that. Mostly, my problem is sleeping through the night. The magnesium spray (which is really cheap btw), when I use it at night, absorbs into my skin quickly, I feel, and helps me stay asleep. I don't see any downside to using it, except maybe loose stools if you overdo it.
I don't believe in the disease model and I totally agree with you that people can move on. One thing I really disliked about NA was how bleak outlook it gave me on maintaining sobriety and what I had to look forward to as addict in recovery.
Seeing people with 20+ still getting up and introducing themselves as an addict every meeting was depressing. (Not trying to take anything away from people who find success in 12 step. If it works for you, great!)
There are a couple books I've read that suggest addiction is a learning disorder. To me, that really makes sense and it offers a much more optimistic view for recovery. I'll put links to Amazon below but if you have the Overdrive App for your library you might be about to check out the ebooks for free
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250055822/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_X-TKCbD6G25S9
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0807035874/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_ikUKCb9WB4YZ0
I used 5-HTP for about a year, i took two capsules every night and after a week or so I noticed the mornings were easier. I recently stopped taking 5-HTP and started taking lions mane mushrooms. I would start with 5-HTP but look into the benefits of lions mane. Didn’t have any negative effects going from 5-HTP to lions mane. I included the brands I used below. Stay strong
I got into sim racing since I'm a car guy and drive a modded 350z HR. The whole serup cosge about $500.
Wheel and pedals recommended for new racers and the chair was $200 but this before COVID so not sure on current prices.
Wheel & pedals is a Logitech G29 https://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Dual-motor-Feedback-Responsive-PlayStation/dp/B00Z0UWWYC
Racing seat (folds up with wheel/pedals still attached. https://www.amazon.com/Playseat-RC0002-Challenge/dp/B009ZELZDS
Racing definitely helps with the RLS so much
Awesome.Clonidine really helps.
The pills are a bummer for sure but it can be done. Something like the link below is a great tool, see if you can get your hands on one. If you look through the forum, you will see the great many unfortunate addicts who took too much too early and realized that Gd gave us a real sample of hell here on earth - it’s called precipitated withdrawals. You must be careful. I’m concerned not only because I don’t want you to feel the horror of it. Many people who go through it don’t touch subs ever again and I don’t want that to be you.
Now that I’m thinking bout it... you don’t have to get the dosage exact. As long as it’s somewhere around there, under 1mg, you will be ok. So try your best.
Good night and be strong! You only gotta do this once. We are rooting for you!
Apex Ultra Pill Cutter - Pill Splitter With Retracting Blade Guard - For Cutting Small Pills or Large Pills In Half https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000EGKTGK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_U9ipFbBKEKTNV
Look for the little bottles of Rubitussin capsules. The cheaper store-brand version will usually be located nearby. There are a bunch of similar sounding versions, so double check to make sure the ones you pick up don't contain guaifenssin. I think in some states they've moved DXM-only preparations behind the counter, so you might have to ask for them if they're not out on the floor. Otherwise, you can buy them on Amazon and eBay.
https://www.amazon.com/Robitussin-Long-Acting-Non-drowsy-Suppressant-Liqui-Gels/dp/B07GH9K5XM
It’s just a cheapy plastic one, well it feels that way but it’s been working for me. I got it from amazon Timed lock box from Amazon
Skip the 5htp and go for L-Tryptophan. It's also a serotonin precursor but it has a much more noticeable effect compared to 5htp. (I tried both and 5htp was so weak it wasn't even worth it). I get this kind off Amazon. You won't need the St. John's Wort with this.
I also combine it with N-acetyl-L-tyrosine for the dopamine (better absorption than just regular L-tyrosine), with a bit of magnesium citrate twice a day. Saved my ass in PAWS and made my mood significantly better. I'm still taking it now.
I just love sharing the good news about my Amazon cocktail of ghetto antidepressants. I didn't expect it to work as good as it did.
yes it is on amazon. i didnt think there was any rules against posting your own book? if there is im sorry. yes it is on amazon https://www.amazon.com/Dopesick-American-Addiction-Heroin-Profit/dp/1984338323/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
That's a bummer about your Dad. Hydrocortisone is generally pretty bad to take every day but some conditions seems to require a lot of it. This could help you learn about it: http://www.tiredthyroid.com/hc.html
That's an interesting theory. It might give a boost of energy but as others have stated WD doesn't clinically seem to have anything to do with inflammation or the adrenals. The last I researched RLS actually is related to the dopamine and norepinephrine systems. Most of us simply have to go through it until they heal enough to where it goes away. It sucks but only last a few days to a couple weeks usually. Just ride it out man. It's not that bad. What's 2 weeks in the grand scheme of things?
A more logical way to get energy would be to try a nootropic or something:
teacrine, TMG, Tyrosine, phenylpiracetam, Rhodiola Rosea, Smart Mode by Bulletproof: https://www.amazon.com/Bulletproof-Neuromaster-Supports-Memory-Capsules/dp/B06XYVGLVM/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1531403944&sr=8-1&keywords=smart+mode+bulletproof&dpID=41fnfHsjzwL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
Most of those things syngerize well with caffeine, btw. Nootropics are big in my world now, mostly because I can't do any other drugs anymore... ;-)
that sounds rough. 2MG is still a pretty big dose. I was alternating between 1 and 2 when I went into residential detox and it was still pretty rough. Some of my friends took a while to wean down from 2.0 which ended at crumbs. I've done something similar a few times, was just taking enough to help the worst of the RLS but was still in WD.
I just lurked your posts for a sec and think you might like the Refuge Recovery book. It's very Buddhist. That whole program is Buddhist. I just heard about this book too, at a meeting tonight: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07288R258/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Wishing you the best! It would have been really hard for me to kick sub with any amount in my possession. I gave like 60 of them to the detox place when I went in which they eventually destroyed. The phenobarbital they used helped quite a bit fwiw. Hang in there!
It could be tomorrow but soon a day should come where you'll feel better than today. Drinking lots of water, steaming/sauna-ing, bodywork, some walking/exercise all can help a lot. There are green drink powders like this: https://www.amazon.com/CapraGreens-Minerals-Green-Superfoods-powder/dp/B001EIZQLA
that you can get at Wholefoodos type stores that can help juice your energy and mood a bit. I've always noticed I was way depleted nutritionally during most kicks. You won't see the awesome one I linked at a Wholefoods but there are other ones which are similar powder forms.
sorry to hear! A run of probiotic could help. Have you ever seen those refrigerated shooter things called "Bio-K"? That have at hippie type grocery stores like WhoeFoods. I would say try that a few times and if it seems to help, experiment with a daily pill like "Pearls" or "JarrowDophilus": https://www.amazon.com/Jarrow-Formulas-Jarro-Dophilus-Supports-Intestinal/dp/B0013OUKTS?th=1
Something like GT"s Kombucha could help a bit too. Gingerberry is yummy, or rather as yummy as kombucha can be... ;-)
Exercise has been a godsend for me. I used to live in a place where I could easily surf and hike and after moving I found the normal gym thing unappealing and sort of boring. Not sure why it is so easy now but probably has to do with how great it makes me feel. :) The cardio in particular brings such a rush and calming zen state.
I always liked the green powder drinks. My fave is this one called "Capra Greens" by Mount Capra. Goat Whey with lots of minerals and tastes way better than any other I've tried. Awesome in smoothies. If you want to experiment with any probiotics, a few basic ones are the "pearls" https://www.amazon.com/Enzymatic-Therapy-Pearls-Intensive-Probiotics/dp/B002NL165W/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_121_tr_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=XFWXX2D5MHE9D06FF2CJ
and Jarro-dophilus. They are a great company: https://www.amazon.com/Jarrow-Formulas-Jarro-Dophilus-Supports-Intestinal/dp/B00028NV2E/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1524554221&sr=8-3&keywords=jarro-dophilus&dpID=51xngr4HSVL&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
You probably know about the cardio stuff of target heart rate. It's based on your resting heart rate, age, and such. I sometimes only speed walk / run for 20 minutes at the gym but that's more than enough to bring all that happy juice. :)
Wishing you the best, friend!
It's a little after 2pm EST and I'm all done with my work. I can't leave until 330pm at the earliest. I guess I'll play some WoW at work.
I started reading Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions last night. It's by Johann Hari, who also wrote Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs, which is a fantastic book - I recommend it to everyone. But anyway, I started reading this book about depression, and it went into detail about antidepressants and how the research shows that they aren't nearly as effective as we think they are. Of course, as a person who's been on antidepressants since I was eleven, I was angry reading about this. Like irrationally angry. It made me start considering getting off of antidepressants completely. I tried to talk to fiance about it, but he said I was being very irrational and impulsive and refused to discuss the matter with me, which made me even more angry. I was able to calm down eventually, but man, it really got to me.
I have an appointment with my psych doc in about ten days. I'm going to share with him that I want to start tapering off of my meds sometime soon. I mean, I don't even know who I am off of the meds, I've been on them for so long. I'm going to have to come off of them eventually. Why not now/soon?
Please read “The Feeling Good Handbook” by David D. Burns. I’m halfway through it, and it has already helped me get rid of a lot of self destructive thoughts. You need help, and this book can help you. Do you have a job? I’m not asking to be rude, but I feel like I can see a lot of myself in what you’re written. I’ve been kinda on a downwards spiral during my year long maternity leave, but once I started work again, I’ve had a much brighter outlook on life. Started exercising again, eating healthy, cutting down on my opiate use(that I’m also prescribed because of chronic pain like you). So I guess what I’m asking is, do you have anything to get up to in the morning? I’m so sorry about your children. How old are they? May I ask why they were taken away?
Today has thus far been great. I am not sure where I am at when it comes to clean time but I am nearing 5 months. I awoke, made coffee, and finished reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which is a fantastic book. I am not sure what all I will being today but once the girlfriend gets home from the grocery store we will probably make a plan. I hope everyone else is doing well!
> stoicism the best I can, though that mostly just involves learning everything I can about it and then only occasionally succeeding to use it effectively because it's still pretty awkward
Hey that's awesome. I highly recommend the book "A Guide to the Good Life" It gave me a lot of techniques and was easily digestible.
Very very cool. Been meaning to message you, I've really enjoyed the posts you've made. Participated in.
Anyway, I found Mindfulness in Plain English, and have been digesting it here and there, and it's really good. A great read:
http://www.mindfulvalley.org/files/books/mindfulness_plain_english.pdf
(I would also prefer to have a physical copy myself, but figured I would link)
Yea, I wish there was more SMART in my area. Definitely looking into REBT right now, as I don't know how this message missed me.
I really get into these states thinking about the self-destruction/self-medication ego stuff that is the essence of this "addiction" although it should probably be more classified as brain damage, like I think you mentioned in another post.
I'd definitely love to start a dialogue about some these concepts, and your ideas on staying clean.
Bro it makes the games so much more fun. I'm on GT Sport a lot. Check around for deals on the wheels. I got my G29 for $199 from best buy. Cheapest I found and came with the free shifter.
Next up is this https://www.amazon.com/Playseat-Challenge-playstation-4/dp/B009ZELZDS
Or this https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B010W3O8R0?psc=1
Check out /r/simracing
There's actually some pros from around the world that post there when they're not driving the real thing.
That's horrible, and I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this right now. I hope you can reach a new normal that you can live with sooner rather than later. I read this book over and over again when my brother died of an overdose. Super corny title, but they describe all kinds of amazing coping skills and it helped me process I was feeling. I felt like I was going crazy in the months after the funeral, and the text made me feel normal.
Good day chicks and dudes. I'm back at the work grind, and damn I didn't miss it at all. Good thing is that fiance, kiddo, and myself are headed up to Pittsburgh this weekend for fiance's childhood bff's wedding. That should be a good time.
I finished American Kingpin last night - it's a great detailed account of Ross Ulbricht who started the Silk Road and how it all came crashing down. I feel so bad that he's serving two life sentences. Yes, he did some bad things. But at the same time he was just a kid who wanted to decriminalize drugs. It worked in Portugal. Why couldn't it work here? That's a rhetorical question, by the way. Not really looking to get into a political debate today, ha.
A friend of mine that I met in rehab many years ago is back in the hospital for the umpteenth time. He just can't stop drinking. He's got this terrible outlook on life right now too. He got kicked out of IOP for relapsing too many times. He tells me that none of the doctors or rehabs he contacts want to help him because he seems like such a hopeless case. I kind of believe him. He's been doing this for at least a decade, trying to get better and continuously relapsing. It's at the point where every suggestion I make to him, he has a negative rebuttal against it. It's frustrating. He asked me to go visit him at the hospital tonight. I don't have any other plans, so I figured I'd make a short visit. But it's so depressing. He's going to die soon, I can feel it, and it makes me so incredibly sad.
The video here is just a segment of an actual hour long DVD created by Dr. Kevin McCauley. I am posting the segment that I believe covers the science behind cravings as it relates to the role of dopamine reward in our brain. I am on mobile so I hooe this comes through:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kVoYpiiy7jg
Also, this video is amazingly educational although it can feel a bit cheesy at times. The whole video can be found at Amazon and I highly recommend any person struggling with addiction watch it and just learn what Dr. McCauley is teaching us about what he discovered.
There is also another video he makes called "Pleasure Unwoven" where he goes deeper into addiction and also how the United States Navy Pilots treat it and how addicts can use that model to help themselves stop from relapsing. Really powerful.
https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Unwoven-Explanation-Disease-Addiction/dp/B003AC98V2
It's mentioned on the sub fairly frequently, honestly it's the best book on addiction I've ever read. Made sooo much sense, explained so much. Can't recommend it enough if that stuff interests you.
https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X
I just started reading this and it's really good so far, made me cry a few times because it's so insightful into why we do the things we do. it seems to be considered a classic in the field.
You should check this out if you can get your hands on it : http://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Unwoven-Explanation-Disease-Addiction/dp/B003AC98V2
Kinda cheesy at times, but incredibly helpful in understanding the medical side of addiction.
I don't think this agrees with modern science. Addicts are addicts because of the same reason we eat food to stay alive, or sleep. Drugs cause the same effect that eating, sex, sleep provide : dopamine. The reason the brain has dopamine receptors is for survival. Things that release dopamine are usually things that keep us alive (except drugs). So the brain recognizes the dopamine and wants more of it (to keep itself alive). Addiction amplifies this affect and when we're in active addiction it actually takes precedence in the survival area of our brain (the area that basically decides what we need to survive). So when you're not high, and in active addiction your brain thinks "I need drugs, food, etc. now" In that order. For more info check out this I'm not sure how this relates to 'human connections'. It may be a reason someone might turn to use drugs in the first place, but I don't think in any way it has anything to do with actual addiction.