What are /r/lonely's favorite Products & Services?

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Being something of a sticky beak, I went to have a look at the comment history of HB (waves @ HB - hate your name, btw).

He actually sounds like a compassionate man who understands personal pain and loneliness and who also have a sense of humour.

It's worth bearing in mind that the subreddits people subscribe to don't define who they are. When I first started on reddit, I joined all kinds of subreddits that expressed the opposite views and values to myself. Part of this was curiosity, but I also don't ever want to live in an echo chamber where I only ever engage with other people who agree with me.

The other thing I was going to express before seeing your response to HB was that sometimes workplaces don't provide you with compatible people for friendship. The good thing is, you don't have to be friends with those you work with to do a good, professional job.

I suggest you try meeting different people outside of work. I've used meetup.com over the past few years to find social groups that have shared interests. I am also shy in social situations, and am much more comfortable engaging with people individually or in small groups, so I've chosen groups that provide that option. Whether or not lasting friendships spring from these activities is not my main concern. For me, it's about being somewhat sociable, and also doing things I enjoy outside of work (e.g. bushwalking, philosophical discussions, etc).

I wish you all the best with it - definitely don't give up.

Oh, okay! Here’s the one I bought: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08272LLXY/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A1LR0OSKJ6P009&th=1

It was a bit annoying to tie the removable cover on properly, but other than that I’ve been pleased with it, so I don’t have any problems recommending it 🤷🏾‍♂️

Oh I saw your profile. Ok. But it looks similar to Buckethead's.

Also, did you find a way to make "watermarks"?

I recommend you to use Inkscape It's an amazing tool. It's free and open source. It's mainly for vector graphics. You could make a logo, export it and then use it on your creations. Playing around with the opacity.

have you tried Meetup.com?

You can find lots of people in your area, who want to meet and chat about topics you both love. My wife and I meet with a group of local authors, we meet in a coffeehouse, we encourage each other with writing, and this really does lead to friendships.

There are Meetup groups for every subject of interest you can think of, and if you don't see a group that you are interested in, you can create your own Meetup group, it's easy.

Your loneliness is like a contagious virus. No one wants to get near a lonely, depressed miserable hopeless negative person, because your dark cloud of pessimism can infect the rest of us, ruining our mood, destroying a good time. Practice feeling positive, smiling, laughing, and forget about feeling sorry for yourself, and watch how fast your happy attitude attracts new friends. If your life's biggest problem is you have no friends, cheer up, that's not an unsolvable problem

try: meetup.com

Basically people make groups from going to movies together, checking out bars, to going to art lessons.

Its success depends on what city you're in, like Singapore's meetup community is great, Toronto's is pretty good... I don't know about anywhere else.

Some groups meet on a regular basis. After a while, those become something to really look forward to. It helped me through a lot of times. You can meet a lot of weirdos, or friendly people who only appear once, but hey, it comes with the territory. It's a good distraction at the very least.

​

Meetup.com is a friendship site, where you can meet people in your area, for like minded interests.

My wife is part of a writing group, and a painting group. Basically, the ladies drink wine, chat, and have fun.

If you don't see anything on Meetup that interests you, simply start your own group!

Hey man, i just want to say i read your post. i can sense your pain. you are not the only person who feels they have no friends. But try to be positive, you are in school, and have a bright future ahead of yourself. you can always try to meet people via groups that meet up in real life (aka meetup.com). that is what im going to try. im glad you cut out the toxic people, now its time to meet some uplifting people.

I'm 20 I like competitive programming, tennis/badminton, and agar.io. I'm around north Chicago suburbs.

Things I'm trying to improve is my fitness (trying to gain weight, underweight), trying to use law of attraction, and trying to find a passion since I lost most of my passion for competitive programming.

Aww I’m so sorry. That truly sucks. I would urge you to find another job if you can. My favorite jobs I hung out with my coworkers regularly and loved it.

Also, check this out. It’s very relatable to your situation right now.
Start at 13:25 https://www.podparadise.com/Podcast/512774441/Listen/1508223600/0?time=800

I guess, what you need is to put yourself out there then. If you really wanna meet people, few options: multiplayer gaming community (sometimes, can be toxic, but you'll find someone), meetup.com, volunteering, bars or parks. HOPEFULLY HERE IF SOMEBODY AROUND YOUR AREA, SEE THIS POST AND WANNA HANG OUT.

Believe me, you'll see some people out there by themselves, you could go up to them and just casually chat. Keep in mind tho, it is not going to work all the time, but you just gotta keep trying. it doesn't cost you anything or hurt you in any way of trying, so why not. well if it hurts you mentally, think about it, would you rather be depress on the bed and complain or change things up a little bit but putting in some effort.

also, you know, the saying: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky.

I can relate to your experience.

Recently, I've had a surge of motivation to initiate more contact with people, and am using meetup groups to get me out of the house, and meet new people (meetup.com is a site with local groups that have shared interests - e.g. book clubs, hiking, philosophy, etc). I've done this not with the view of making close friends (although of course am open to this), but simply to practise being around other people, build my self confidence and do things I enjoy. It really is helping me feel more a part of the world, and I recommend it as a pressure free way of engaging with others.

Wait, yes, there are compression vests that can help possibly, like this one

https://www.amazon.com/Special-Supplies-Compression-Processing-Supportive/dp/B08GSWH52S/ref=mp_s_a_1_7_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=compression+vest&qid=1626182389&sr=8-7-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzVzNTUE9LS1VYUkdDJ...

https://www.amazon.ca/Complete-Ching-10th-Anniversary-Translation/dp/1594773866/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=i+ching&qid=1621205961&sr=8-1

not so traditional perhaps but it does somehow perk me up when i'm feeling down.

Honestly i don't find self help books very useful but there is one book i've read that i thought would be good for someone who is trying to improve themselves. It's not a self help book, it's a philosophy book, and it's not especially difficult. You can go into it without knowing anything else about philosophy. The book is Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle. Here is a good translation.

People who comment this crap don't know what it's like to live like this. To crave someting that comes naturally for them.

Their ''advice" is as scummy as big companies and hackers stealing your private data. Because let's be honest. Staying safe online is an ever growing difficulty and you could be exploited by hackers. NordVPN allows you to change your IP address, making you harder to track, securing your privacy. Check out the link in the description to get 20% off for the first two months and thank you to NordVPN for sponsoring the mossad for destroying 3 towers on 7/11.

I hear a lot of excuses. Not that I'm judging you, but that's what you're doing. You said you see a lot of bigger dudes with girlfriends and that makes you wonder if it is your personality... And you're right.

So what are you to do? Develop your personality, AND get lifting. You don't need a gym to get in shape, however. Google outdoor exercises and you can get yourself in shape. Running, pushups, situps, crunches, etc. As far as your personality is concerned, you need to get more social. That means more friends, and more talking to people. Do whatever it takes to get out there and start meeting people; Whether it's a club (use the MeetUp app), a sports club (kickball, ultimate frisbee, etc) or just going to bars and smiling and talking. Read How To Win Friends and Influence People. Book is old as fuck but just as relevant as ever.

As for what has helped me to be more successful with women, I find a mix of dating apps with liquid courage at bars helps. I have an auto liker app for tinder, and it gets me tons of matches, which saves me time. I just unmatch the undesirables. Brutal, I know, but we don't owe strangers anything. In this life, it's either going to be them or me that gets what they want, and I choose me. You should choose you too. Remember that the world is not all puppies and lolly pops. If you want something, you have to go out there and get it. Nothing is free, unless you're a woman... And even then, there may be hidden "expectations" tacked on. But that's another story altogether.

I hope some of my advice helped. Even if it didn't, or you don't act on any of it, please know that you're not the only one that's lonely. We all wish you love, inner peace, and happiness. Take care!

Ok, then what about meetup.com? I've personally met dozens of people who go to those groups specifically to escape loneliness.

Google 'free local events' and force yourself to attend something once a week.

Get a camera and start taking pictures of anything in populated areas. I've learned the bigger the camera the more interesting you look.

I move towns and cities a lot. I usually find a board games group, a book group, and some kind of charity I can volunteer for. Then the friends come, over time. Try meetup.com, your local library, and your volunteer centre/ town hall for ideas.

I feel the same. But I live in a new country and can't speak the language fluently.

Have you tried to use meetup.com to find groups of people who share your interests? I found the anime lovers group, a lot of the people there have social anxiety, that's why they can understand and accept me.

To find friends you need to learn and practice some skills. You don't need to be someone you're not though. There are a lot of articles and videos about how to find friends for introverts. But you have to do some to find people and open up, it might be hard, but it's ok, you're gonna be fine!

I am so sorry you are in that kind of situation. Is there some way to get support from friends, family, or local church communities? And would interested based friendships help you feel less alone, such as using meetup.com to find an activity, hiking group, ladies group, or even bowling group to spend time with?

Nope, the research doesn't suggest anything of the sort.

Data from this study https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Gender-Differences-in-Mate-Selection%3A-Evidence-From-Fisman-Iyengar/3ab5291bdf1ad75f444abc31270f159a19ab9aff

Suggests that men and women cared about the same about looks. Also this was for 3 minute speed dates. I suspect looks may matter less in normal length dating.

My story has a chapter like yours. You're not an "evil person". You're doing your best to get through life with the hand you've been dealt, just like everyone else is.

Coming to terms with loss is extremely painful, but if you allow yourself to experience the pain completely you will come through this experience far stronger and wiser.

I recommend reading this book. It will change the way you view life's painful challenges and help you find the inner strength you need.

Buy this audio book and listen to it. I listen to it on repeat on my drive to work and back home from work. I have listened to it for 1 hr a day enough times to get through the whole thing cover to cover 10 - 20 times.

I think, if you give it a listen yourself, that you might find things getting a little bit easier.

Gaining self esteem isn't actually a worthwhile goal. You should aim to get self compassion instead. It has all of the upsides of self esteem and none of the drawbacks.

If you are interested, there's a good audio book or it's free on the Kindle if you have Amazon Prime.

FWIW, I too have the lowest of the low self esteem, actually probably even negative self esteem since I have only negative views toward every aspect of myself. I have been trying to listen to this same audio book myself and it has made things at least a teensy bit better.

Succulent Prey - Wrath James White

It's the goriest book I've ever read aside from "El Blog del Narco" (Full glossy pictures! 🤮) and "American Psycho" (If you think the book is tame, 1) You've never read it or 2) You're an Edgelord. Shut up.)

But if you can stomach a story about a virus spread through... Cannibalism.

BOY, DO I HAVE A BOOK FOR YOU!!!

(In all fairness, it's 6' of rebar, a very sentient man and an open fire and after sufficient description...

Dinner is served.

⚠️Don't tell me I didn't warn you.⚠️

No. You don't want it. You just think you do.

I take taurine for my anxiety. Taurine is a gentle amino acid that nourishes the nervous system. It is widely known that most people and even animals are somewhat taurine deficient. Taurine is added into many things, such as energy drinks and pet food.

If you take it on it’s own, and you have a potent brand, it will dramatically reduce your anxiety and help you get deeper and more restful sleep. I once recommended taurine to a woman in her 70s who had insomnia for her whole life that doctors couldn’t touch. She said it was the first good sleep she’d had that she could remember. I once gave a large dose of taurine to a friend who was suicidal and tearing her heart out. The taurine allowed her to rest and collect her thoughts so that she was ready to get her life together within hours (for her, this meant a halfway house). If I take taurine while I’m having a panic attack I notice a difference within 20 mins. It works even better taken as a preventative.

I hope you decide to try it. Here is a potent brand: https://www.amazon.com/Source-Naturals-Taurine-500mg-Capsules/dp/B0014GXMLS/ref=mp_s_a_1_17?crid=1LQCW47R23RWA&keywords=taurine+1000mg+capsules&qid=1660838314&sprefix=%2Caps%2C251&sr=8-17

Making friends is a skill that can be learned! This book is maybe good at the conversational pieces:

https://www.amazon.com/Most-Human-Artificial-Intelligence-Teaches/dp/0241956056

though there may be other emotional dimensions as well...

I know exactly what you're talking about. I used to be that way - for a very long time. Eventually I realized that having heightened sensitivity can be a two-edged sword because it makes you more aware, but it also leaves you vulnerable to taking on responsibility for the whole world. And, yes, the world ican and often is a very cruel place.

But that's not my fault, and it's not your fault either.

If I can make a suggestion, what you need to do is build barriers between yourself and the world. By that I mean find ways not to feel responsible ("guilty") for what's happening around you all the time.

I don't know whether you're into books, I finished one the other day that deals with lots of stuff, including how to stop this kind of self-guilting. If you want,you can have a peek here. I hope it helps. Good luck!

No worries.

You can use this app I use for setting a timer. If you study for the duration set with focus, a cartoon tree gets planted. Otherwise, it withers. Plant enough cartoon trees and they will plant a real tree in return. So feel good vibes all around.

Unknown by Cheryl Wright might fit. I went thought a phase like that. It took a bit of work on my part to put myself out there more in social situations. I am shy and introverted, so it took some time. As for romance, online dating worked for me, but this was years ago, Match.com was all the rage. It was the long form communication, email messages for a couple weeks before meeting that worked for me. I could put my thoughts down and not feel the pressure to quickly reply with a witty line. Questions were asked and long answers could be given. It helped that the ones that I connected with liked this method and embraced it also. Just know you are not alone, others are there with you and others have been there too, things do change with work.

Give Meet Up a chance. Find a low-investment group that you'd totally be okay with bailing on immediately afterwards and give yourself permission to take a chance with them. Worst case scenario, you bail and you never see them again and never have to worry about being judged for it. On the flip side, you could meet your new group of best friends.

Up to you!

I hear you. Sounds like you deserve a better friend. Have you tried Meetup.com? Go to everything, even if you're not keen. Im feeling depressed cos I ended a toxic relationship about two weeks ago and although I did the right thing there is a big void in my life now, and my home feels so empty. Time will heal it, just nice to interact with others to help get me through.
I was blocked from facebook a few days ago too, which added to my loneliness. We can help each other til we find new friends by being supportive.

Read the foreword of this book, it might be insightful. You could read the rest if you would like - it has been translated and is nearly a millennia old.

Read the foreword of this book. You could read the rest if you like. Let me know what you think.

Do a self portrait! Take pictures of yourself and pick one. Add a fantasy background if you want. Here’s a freeware photo editing program: https://www.gimp.org/ You can upload your image to GIMP, and use a digital ruler to make a grid of guide lines over the photo. Then take a ruler, and your sketchpad, and make a grid with the same number of squares on your paper. Make sure to use very light lines since you’ll have to erase them later.

It can be rough feeling that way and can definitely give you a heavy heart. I'm 32 and I often feel the same way as you. The truth is that you can't let these negative emotions get in your way and ruin your life, and they will most definitely ruin your life if you let them. It's easy to say and hard to do, but you have to keep putting yourself out there. I know it doesn't feel like it, but we're both still pretty young and have a lot of life ahead of us. I would seriously suggest trying meetup groups, you can find some on meetup.com. I'm sure there are other websites, you may even find a subreddit for your city or a city nearby (I live near Knoxville and the Knoxville subreddit has Reddit meetups).

​

I know how you feel all too well. Unworthy. If there's one word to sum up how I feel most of the time it's that. You're not unworthy, though. You have value and something to offer, we all do. We have to let these negative emotions go, or we'll never grow and our lives will never improve. We really are our own worst enemies. I know you can find the courage to keep putting yourself out there and find people who will value you like you deserve. Don't give up, man.

Haha i'm not British though. Just a huge fan of Liverpool fc. I just googled missed connections and it is really interesting. Just read this and laughed at him saying "I'd hate to shoot your cute freckled face" haha.

I created a room with just myself on matrix and it's good having somewhere to text. I called it "darling" and pretend that I'm talking to my girlfriend. Sometimes I throw what I'm going through in there. I recommend that you try it out

If there isn't an app, this sounds like a nice idea for an app to make. Something that sends messages every day would be nice

sorry to hear that. what are you doing to keep yourself busy? i've also been playing some video games a lot more. i feel like now that i don't have to drive (or get ready for work in the morning), i have more mental space in the day and time to play things.

i noticed my friends and family suddenly are reaching out to chat on video chat more.. it's nice of them, then again, with my introversion, it's also becoming a nuisance to get on the phone to talk to people.. it creates anxiety for me instead.

I haven't used this myself, but I heard https://www.7cups.com/ is a place to basically talk to strangers if you're looking for something like that.

Heya, I'm sorry you're feeling so alone with things. I can't imagine what it's like to be so far from friends and family. I'm not sure about any books I could recommend right now, but there's a website called '7 cups of tea' that has chat groups, advice and therapists that you can connect to, as well as untrained (but free) 'listeners'. https://www.7cups.com It can be a bit hit and miss but if you are feeling lonely you can pretty much instantly connect to someone who is there because they want to try and help. Also, are there any hobbies you have that you enjoy? That might help me think of something more specific...

I went to school for 2 years and came out with a Computer Science diploma, which isn't very helpful and I just finished two trimesters in university where I basically did not do very well.

Free time, I spend a lot of it on Reddit and I watch a fair amount of anime. I think a lot about my life and what I'm going to do with it but I usually don't get anywhere with that. I try to make the best of it.

I have "friends" per sé, but I don't hang out with them very often, so it would be nice to have people to hang out with. I used to talk to a bunch of people online (we'd have group skype conversations and play games) but a couple of them were huge assholes and I couldn't really deal with it.

Thank you for asking. If there's so many people here interested in programming/wanting to get into it, maybe we could work on a project together? I want to get back into it, I don't really care what I make, I just want to work on something that I can show other people.

• try to watch netflix with them on Teleparty.
• try to watch youtube/listen to music with them on Watch2gether.

That will makes you guys talk more ^^ I hope you have a good day 💕

As /u/dedennenne suggests, going to another therapist may be a helpful.

Some other thought that just went through my mind: You say that you feel invisible, that nobody notices your presence, that you get no messages, that people don't respond.

Maybe Facebook is just not the right place to share stuff. Maybe you need another community. E.g. if you like taking photos, go to flickr.com, if you like arts, maybe www.deviantart.com, if it's about litterature, maybe http://www.shelfari.com/. Just an idea.

If you tell us a bit more about yourself, what you do, what you like etc, we may indeed make better suggestions.

Hi there. Feel free to PM me, but I also created a small social site for this situation: https://www.confidist.com (we are donation based with no ads so I hope no one minds a plug) and I would love to invite you to come check us out. The platform is a place for meaningful one-on-one conversation where you create or join a topic and when inside a conversation you can see all the personality, and interest attributes you share in common with the other person. This hopefully produces a sense of empathy and allows for an instant connection. It's a great spot for opening up and letting it all out there. Likewise for giving advice and expanding our points of view. I usually have a topic available and would love to listen. Kind regards -Nicholas

If you live in a big town or city try meetup.com . Everyday there are groups meeting to play board games, yoga, tahi chi, wood working etc...all are usually free or have a donation jar. I don't have many friends but have been joining a bunch of groups on there to do things with people

There are two possibilities here:

1. Your friend doesn't know how to comfort you or respond to the things you share with her.
2. Your friend is narcissistic and is only interested in what you can give to her in terms of support, friendship and an understanding ear.

It's worth telling your friend how you have been feeling. Her response will tell you which of these scenarios applies to your relationship. If it's the latter, end it asap. If it's the former, tell her what you need from her, (e.g. do you want her to ask questions about your situation? give advice? just listen? ).

Regardless of how this turns out, you should put some energy into meeting other people in your state. This could be through work/school/volunteering, or other social groups (try meetup.com for a range of hobby/interest groups). This will lessen the pressure on your friendship with this girl.

I feel like as an older woman I want to give you advice, but don't want to overstep and make all sorts of assumptions about you or your life. Being nice or sensitive are amazing traits to have. Who doesn't want a man with those two traits? I do! Along with about a hundred other traits, of course. Depression and anxiety have nothing to do with your gender/sex. Some women like a man who is complicated. What unmanly trait are you concerned about that makes you unlikeable? Surely you have a combination of traits that make you an individual and an interesting person.

My first piece of advice is to stop saying no one will like you. That is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My second piece of advice is to realize you will face rejection on the path of finding someone to like you because you rarely choose the right person on the first go. The more unique you are, the harder it may be to find someone, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means it takes more patience and persistence in sorting through all the people out there.

My third piece of advice is to set a goal for the next month of some things you can do to make yourself feel better about you. Do you like pub quiz nights? Do you like movies? Bowling? Walking? Is there a meetup.com near you. Go do some things that have nothing to do at all with meeting women. Just begin by taking yourself out on a few dates. Go have some fun with you! Not with your friends, but with you. And if you can, don't go out wearing like your old stinky clothes. Dress up like you are going out on a date to meet someone you like. You are dressing up for someone you should love: yourself.

Here's the link!

The description tells you more about the story, and you can read the entire prologue and first half of the first chapter for free. Judging by your interests, I think this will be the story for you! Please tell me your thoughts on it, and thank you for your interest!

(I dunno if that's a weird thing to say thanks for, but imma roll with it.)

For the anxiety side of things, have you heard of 'The DARE Response'? Defuse. Accept. Run towards. Engage. I've had panic attacks etc for like 14 years now and I'm finally getting a hold on anxiety via this technique it's actually insane! It takes some practice and you will have to stick at it and put in some work, I nearly always forget how to do it so I've made a little folder in my camera roll with screenshots of the technique to remind myself when things get rocky - might be a tip for you to do the same if you forget stuff too but yeah I highly, highly recommend you give it a try dude!

Free PDF version, gotta scroll past some ads though: https://www.academia.edu/45507945/Barry_McDonagh_Dare_The_new_way_to_end_anxiety_and_stop_panic_attacks

You can get a physical copy of the book too if you'd prefer that: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258

I've been in and out of the UK's mental health services for 11 years now and this is the only thing that's begun to help, amazes me how simple the technique is honestly just give it all a read and see if anything sticks 💖

Well, if it makes you feel better, you can put photos there.

There are even apps to help you do it, using their social networks:

1. SyncMe- various social networks
2. Contacts Sync - from WhatsApp, but requires a rooted device.

I relate a lot, I'm 27M, abusive family, repeated ingrained trauma, all that good stuff.

Basically the after-effects of trauma are still present and screwing things up. I've been to therapy, and I'm familiar with the process now. Essentially you have to look into your self-beliefs, then think about what happened to make them exist, inevitably realise that they're born from abuse, and then correct the thought pattern. All while fighting your inner critic and juggling life's responsibilities.

The book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving helped me deal with a lot of the issues stemming from an abusive childhood.

BUT - none of this seems to have transformed me into friend-material. Sure, I get along with people better now and I'm less afraid of them, but it's like there's an invisible barrier between me and others. They like me, they just don't wanna be friends. Every. Single. Time. I don't understand it and it kills me.

u/TheWorldsSweptAway has really good info. Trying meditation is really good advice. I helped me a lot, I tried one called ZaZen, there's a book. it made me feel loved and like a real person (linked it, in case you wanna try reading about the process of another breathing meditation type, it gets pretty specific).

Something else, that I tried, and it seemed to help me, was for like 24 hours once, I wrote every single negative thought I had, about myself. It was a LOT. I think seeking exactly how MUCH it was, helped me catch them in the future, and rewrite the thought in my head. after a while it became a habit, of instead of for example thinking "i am unlovable, I suck" i could catch the thought coming and thing, "No" "i feel lonely, but I am okay, it will be okay" basically, just something nicer than the mean version of it.

lifting weights too, I agree, going for a walk also can help, anything that gets you feeling good naturally (by moving your body). Even like doing little things, that I put off or try to ignore, like making my bed, or cleaning anything, can help me feel like I can do things and am in control of myself, my environment can bring me down sometimes, its easy to forget. I don't know if that's helpful. p.s. I'm also 34.

Oh is it? Well thanks, I dunno I just thought religion and loneliness make perfect sense, lonely people often feel abandoned by other humans, but God doesn't do that, he isn't a mere human, we're literally here this moment being willed into existence by him, so who can really feel lonely if they know that.

Okay well, you're still only 20, a lot of people get degrees today in their mid and late 20s and older. How have your parents been with the anxiousness over the SAT's? Have they been supportive? Have you considered medication if only temporarily so that you can complete the SAT? I'm not American so I don't know if you can still do it?

I'd keep an eye on eating emotionally if I were you, it's okay to have some treats or a luxury now and then but if it turns into a kind of self medication it'll make things worse, you don't want to make things worse, you want to address the negative things you're dealing with now and start turning them into positive on top of positive. You should just learn to make a few healthy meals, one at a time.

You know what you should get if you feel lazy? Get a fold up exercise bike like this, it won't take up much space and you can do whatever you can at first, 3/4/5 minutes whatever, you can do it while watching a youtube video or game stream or whatever you like. As you progress, you could do at least 30 minutes a day, or 10 minutes every hour you're at home, it depends what you want to do yourself, but it's an easy way to get exercise in, if you're anxious. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultrasport-Collapsible-Exercise-Training-Computer/dp/B003FSTA0U/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=exercise+bike+folding&qid=1599509679&sr=8-3

Anyway hope this helps somewhat.

I know its hard to believe, but there are men who like a larger/curvier body. Best thing could be to put a profile on a dating site with accurate pictures, state you are a BBW or preferred term, and see how it goes.

Its tough, but having confidence in yourself is important. Confidence is attractive to others.

Maybe something small like finding a dress you feel sexy in or an outfit you feel great in.

This is my go to dress, fits great, super flattering, comfy to wear. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AYH7BMI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_kSOsFbJ1ZQPRF

https://www.amazon.com/Vivere-Double-Hammock-Space-Saving-Tropical/dp/B004YJCP7O/ref=asc_df_B004YJCP7O/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167150179416&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4278170184748619605&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hv...

this is the one I bought I'm pretty sure. very comfy happy hammocking

i like your metaphors. there's a book that they reminded me strongly of, here. there's nothing specifically about loneliness, but it gives me a boost when i'm down.

Actually yes l, if. I remember correctly while reading this book. https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

Something to do with how loneliness is as bad as smoking.

There are a lot of different directions you could go. Getting your drivers license I think would be a good place to start if that's something you want. It would help open up more opportunities for you. Have you ever tried to learn to drive? You could practice in an open parking lot with your mom.

Exercise is great for me when I get stuck in a rut. If you can do it first thing in the morning it really helps to get your day started out well. There are a lot of things you can do right in your room. Anything to elevate my heart rate is a big help for me. I like working out with kettlebells. You can also do jump rope or body weight exercises with minimal space/equipment. There's a great book called Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain that shows how beneficial exercise can be for you mentally.

As far as education there's the GED and for work everyone starts with no experience and gets a first job sometime. There are a lot of jobs you can do that don't require much social interaction. I worked fast food for a couple years and didn't work on the cash registers at all or interact with customers in any way.

You have a bunch of different options and opportunities. Pick one to start with and post again to let us know how you're doing or if you run into any difficulties so that we can help.

Read Dale Carnegies "How To Win Friends and Influence People". It's a really good book to get you out of the rut. Also, I am sure that you have some light acquaintances, just start working on those. Invite them over for a movie or game or something.

I'm not a big fan of Stephen King's fiction, but I really liked his On Writing... go figure. :P Right now I'm reading a Charlie Stross novella, Palimpsest. Stross is one of my favorite sci-fi authors. Are you trying to publish your stories at all, or writing for fun (which is awesome)?

in a Nordic country. In this place, you might well meet people but unfortunately things end the moment each one goes home. Any contacting without a drink is almost certainly unjustified.

I can tell you that in other countries like France or Germany, i would have no problem whatsoever fitting into a network, But here is another story.

I do mainly aerobic. At one stage i seeked refuge in intensive aerobic sport, like the stationary bike.. Although that made a lot of benefit, i was doing it while i was disconnected from my surrounding. At one stage i got some hyperventilation issues (feeling that not enough air is available/absorbed) that might be described as sort of panic.. but nothing more than that.. when stopped doing that sport and reduced wok i healed progressively.

I have learned this great book about the subject, and i literally found out that the only remedy is basically to start connecting for real. The author of that book does have a great show in Youtube.

But still one who thinks he can do a lot of things on his own, might just find himself completely broken. When asked here i was sinking into an abyss of despair..

Small things are big things, and answer from someone here or there does bring with it a lot of hope and piece.

in a Nordic country. In this place, you might well meet people but unfortunately things end the moment each one goes home. Any contacting without a drink is almost certainly unjustified.

I can tell you that in other countries like France or Germany, i would have no problem whatsoever fitting into a network, But here is another story.

I do mainly aerobic. At one stage i seeked refuge in intensive aerobic sport, like the stationary bike.. Although that made a lot of benefit, i was doing it while i was disconnected from my surrounding. At one stage i got some hyperventilation issues (feeling that not enough air is available/absorbed) that might be described as sort of panic.. but nothing more than that.. when stopped doing that sport and reduced wok i healed progressively.

I have learned this great book about the subject, and i literally found out that the only remedy is basically to start connecting for real. The author of that book does have a great show in Youtube.

But still one who thinks he can do a lot of things on his own, might just find himself completely broken. When asked here i was sinking into an abyss of despair..

Small things are big things, and answer from someone here or there does bring with it a lot of hope and piece.

Innup,

Feels like you could use some time to learn about yourself. Who are you? What do you enjoy? Sounds like you are going to overcommit in the near future (learning + tutoring + volunteering + working + clubs), but are they things you or your mother think you need to do, or things that you truly want to do? Do you feel socially awkward because you're always thinking "I have to make this potential friendship work or I'll never be what my mother wants?"

Did you ever take an Meyers Briggs inventory? It sounds like you have some social anxiety or are a true introvert. If you're uncomfortable in the school environs, do you ever hang out in a quiet coffee shop? Bookstore? Library? Any other places you might be comfortable?

Try this - https://www.16personalities.com/

The question for you to not try to solve is: why does your mother really really want you out there? What emotional desire or need of hers is being fulfilled by your popularity? She's ignoring your own emotional needs in favor of hers.

Setting boundaries with your mother may help the situation, in the long run. Try reading a book on boundaries (like, uhm...Boundaries...https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1504284879&sr=8-1&keywords=boundaries) and read it.

First off: Yes, I know the feeling. And I know the feeling of still trying to fight "this" sucks too, it almost hurts.

Second: Realize that if you want to not feel lonely, you can. Both in that you can not feel lonely while being just with yourself (which is something everyone needs to learn to not be unhappy or function in a long lasting relationship) and by socializing with people.

Third: Realistically go through why whatever you've tried until now hasn't worked, and try something else.

Always: Remember that what you feel or think is correct about you or other people is probably at least somewhat incorrect, as it's all colored by your circular thinking patterns. The more you think something, the more you believe it, the more it colors your perspective. The more you remember something while in a certain mood, the more that memory (or thought) will be changed according to that mood. Every time you remember something, that memory changes.

Finally: I really recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1477957726&sr=8-1&keywords=Feeling+Good%3A+The+New+Mood+Therapy

It's about cognitive behaviour therapy. It science, but down to earth and practical for every day life.

PS: Every club I've joined, I've joined without a friend. If you join a club just for meeting people, obviously you'll feel like shit. Join a club to have fun. Be interested. Interested people are interesting to other people. See above about being okay with yourself first. I know it's hard.

> if I were to dissappear I know alot of people would have to adapt because I am always helping everyone,

Consider worrying about yourself for a while instead. This book is often recommended to men that are unsatisfied with their lives and it covers this exactly.

Men today are raised to think IF I help out, IF I'm nice and "follow the rules" then I'll be rewarded. The problem with this, though, is there ends up taking situations where you help everyone with the intention of receiving some reward, when you should be helping because it's rewarding in and of itself.

Try something different. Say NO. "Hey, Jaeg. I got some rock to move, can you come over this Saturday and bring your truck?" "No, sorry, I'm planning on taking Saturday off. Maybe some other time." Take control of your life and do things for yourself.

^I ^should ^re-read ^that ^book ^now ^that ^I ^think ^about ^it.

Read this: http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438CW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1421455106&sr=1-1&keywords=no+more+mr+nice+guy

As someone who has had great number of the "nice guy" tendencies I can tell you that it will help a lot. You will need to approach it with an open mind though, as there will likely be a lot of stuff you don't really want to look at initially.