What are
/r/ForeverAlone's
favorite Products & Services?
From 3.5 billion Reddit comments
The most popular Products mentioned in /r/ForeverAlone:
The most popular Services mentioned in /r/ForeverAlone:
Meetup
Match.com
Photofeeler
ZDNet
Kongregate
Whisper.sh
Pastebin.com
Project Euler
Dailymotion
Mayo Clinic
Zoosk
ScienceDirect
Quora
Listal
Instructables
The most popular Android Apps mentioned in /r/ForeverAlone:
Watch Face - Modern Classics
Vent - Express yourself freely
The most popular reviews in /r/ForeverAlone:
Let me point you in the right direction: Here
It's on you mate. it's your decision to leave this hell hole. Why not give yourself a 6 month trial. Go shave off your head, actually hit the gym and eat healthy and try to socialize as best you can.
Come back in 6 months and update us.
If you manage to change for the better, you will always know you've left this place and can do it again. If it doesn't get better, you're back to square one and nothing has changed so it doesn't matter at all.
If it makes you feel any better, the dude in the picture is Brazilian male model Francisco Lachowski. He's probably in the top 1% of the top 1% of handsome men currently alive - so this example is pretty extreme.
The overwhelming majority of men are AVERAGE looking - the same goes for women. Men who look like models will settle for women who also look like models. For example, here's a picture of Francisco's MODEL girlfriend Jessiann Gravel: http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2026804
Most women who are average looking will settle down with men who are also average looking. Some women will even settle with a man who's below average in looks if things like fame, money, or status come into play.
The point is: if you shoot for someone who's way out of your league, you're going to be disappointed. The ugly/average women are not holding out for some male model (because those dudes are already happy with their own female model counterparts). Most women, if not all, will end up dating men who are in the same league as themselves.
You should really really read this short story by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, the creator of BoJack Horseman: https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/3985247459.html. It really captures the feeling of missed connections and the hope of falling in love on the subway.
> This is one of the reasons why i approach such few women.
You didn't approach her at all...all you did was buy something where she works as a cashier. I strongly recommend that you do not start hitting on girls while they are working their service jobs - as someone who worked as a waiter I can tell you it sucks. My female colleagues would get sexually harassed by customers almost every night and they cannot do anything because they have to be nice to the customer. It's pretty fucked up to put someone through that. Instead try to only ask out a girl in situations where she is free to tell you if she doesn't like you without losing her job...which is basically everywhere besides work. Bars, meetup.com interest groups, school, through friends, at a concert, w/e.
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Don't face reveal on reddit where the paranoia of being one day doxxed will crush you. Do it on Photofeeler where you can remain anonymous and can be reduced to a set of numbers.
The numbers will not lie to you.
Are you consuming anything else? Anyway, your tolerance will go away as the liver does.
You should definitely drink less. I drink every day, but it's just a few beers, or spritzers, or some home made liqueur based on rakija. This is normal intake on the balkans. I've seen what chronic addiction does to you, stop while it's not to late, it isn't pretty.
Lemme start off by saying this is two Meetup.com meetups you've been to where there was a clear majority of women. I might, MIGHT be fishing in the wrong ponds.
And yeah, a lot of dudes, and probably a lot of chicks, but certainly a lot of dudes, would consider that a "First World Problem," being so popular on Tinder that you get 30 messages a day. One woman's hassle is another man's salvation from crushing loneliness. Did you feel like an outsider because you don't get many Tinder messages? Or did you feel like an outsider because you were put off by that statement?
Have you ever played one of those games like Learn To Fly, where the premise of the game is basically to go as far as you can until you fuck up, giving you the opportunity to upgrade?
Your life is this game.
>I am scared what after few minutes of talk, where should I go with here if everything works fine
Good question. Of course you're scared, though, you've never been in that situation. Totally normal. So say you take that leap of faith, go out on a date with someone online. Are you gonna crash and burn? It's totally possible, straight up. But that's all part of the game. But you need to become okay with the possibility of failure- could you win Learn to Fly if you gave up as soon as your character fell? Or perhaps if you never flew at all?
Failure is the thing that lets you say, "okay, looks like I fucked that up. Maybe in the future, I should do X instead." Understand that it's okay to not have any experience. You want to go directly from no experience to fully experienced, however, and unfortunately that isn't a realistic goal. You will encounter embarrassment, shame, rejection, confusion. They are all there to point you in the right direction. And really, ask yourself: is it so bad to feel these things? Are they worse than what you feel now?
Embrace failure. It is your way out.
You can play nearly any GBA, N64, SNES, NES, Sega, Gameboy game right in your web browser! And other consoles I've never even heard of.
You just have to download a plugin for your browser.
And it's also nice because most games have a "speed" button. So like a nostalgic game of Pokemon can go a lot faster when you speed through the tutorials and walking.
Wisdom that tends to put a spotlight on humanities vanity (specifically Ecclesiastes) always does. I just can't find any value in a woman that can only love me because of my utility, because my utility is going away, and if I believe in heaven I have to believe in a love that can last far past this life.
The problem with this is that it completely saps everything of its worth and I become a nihilist, because you can clearly see all of the vanity in plain sight, it's all just a passing thing that is going to be forgotten tomorrow, and I just can't believe in a love that's like that, it means absolutely nothing to me and so most of what I can do means absolutely nothing.
Except the woman that can love me in my weakness, she's the one that can love me beyond this life and add meaning to this existence, but she is the most rare and most precious thing, so rare that I don't even think her type has any meaningful foothold in this world.
I tend to relate so much to that picture of Jesus and Satan by Gustave Dore, with Satan pointing down to a city, offering the world to jesus if he would worship him(http://www.wikiart.org/en/gustave-dore/the-temptation-of-jesus#close), but Jesus has his eyes set on something much more important, and because of that, the world shuns and hates him. He's just another obscure poor man to it, and I'm just another obscure poor man as well, both of us were meant for another world with our eyes fixed on a love that can last forever.
I thought Willow from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was kind of FA. She was smart, quiet, shy, nerdy and had an unrequited love for Xander.
There is also a movie out on Amazon Prime about an older woman (Sally Field) who is an FA who has a crush on a new, younger co-worker and imagines all these scenarios in her head of how they should be interacting -- usually involving him falling madly in love with her. It's called [https://www.amazon.com/Hello-Name-Doris-Sally-Field/dp/B01CUBR5TU/](Hello, My Name is Doris).
As much as I hate to be the "don't give up guy"...
In the most well-knkown OKCupid experiment, fake profiles were created for 5 guys and 5 girls. The usual takeway is the >10:1 disparity in messages received for girls vs. guys after 4 months. Let me focus on smthg else: the 2 most attractive guys got 38 and 12 msgs; the massively overweight guy got 0, and the 2 normal looking guys got 1 and 2 msgs.
In your case, in what I assume is less than 4 months, you've got 2 chicks repeatedly messaging you. Even if they're not hot, that on its own doesn't seem like a reason to be discouraged.
(If you've messaged 100 girls w/o any decent responses, feel free to disregard the above and be discouraged.)
It's also pseudoscience. Try finding a peer reviewed article or textbook to any reference to this law, they don't exist.
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=%22briffault%27s+law%22&btnG=&hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C7
I'm the guy you are searching for OP
I'm kinda sad seeing some regulars here and none of them remember the idea. Maybe I don't really leave a strong enough impression :(. (Probably why I'm FA)
But to answer your question OP I didn't forget to make it and it's not active yet, but I felt suddenly really depressive and unable to motivate myself to actually go through with it and then a whole lot of of real-life stuff took my whole time. I also had an argument with a guy (not a woman!) here a while ago who made me doubt the whole thing.
I don't have the time right now, but a whole lot of people of both genders reacted postive to it, so I still want to do a testrun, but probably in a few weeks earliest.
Thanks for the post belloflife, your post is a real motivation boost for me. See you then.
A large part of the reason I dropped out was the stress of commuting. It was probably an hour waiting for a bus and then a train, and then three quarters of an hour being in a cramped space with a bunch of people I don't know. I think dorms would have been easier to deal with. Unless you're going into a high-demand field then you almost certainly will regret taking on unnecessary debt. But commuting is basically the devil, and it's even worse if you have any degree of social anxiety. Check this out: https://lifehacker.com/ditching-your-commute-is-the-happiness-equivalent-of-a-1679698849
Hmm....chronic lack of motivation, severely underperforming, giving up too easily, ended up far below the projected potential. That's literally me. Have you ever checked yourself for undiagnosed ADHD? It doesn't matter if you got good grades in high school. A lot of people with ADHD develop coping strategies when they are in school, but performing well takes so much more effort compared to 'normal people' that they burn out completely in early adulthood. That might also explain why you had too little mental energy left to tackle the obesity problem.
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TL;DR: Find a way to check yourself for ADHD. A diagnosis and correct medication might change your life.
If you don't have money for a therapist/evaluation, try at least to check out this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386
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how is your social life in general? Do you have a good social circle with a wide variety of friends? Have you red Models by Mark Manson? Do you have aspergers? Did you learn from your failures? For example if you cold approached load of girls and only got rejection, did you then start trying other methods? going to groups, taking classes or whatever, online dating etc. Did you change the targets you aim for? for example if you have a bit of a nerdy personality you probably gonna get rejected by blonde upperclass chicks in fancy nightclubs.
Good post and very true. Just a few weeks ago I finished reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, where he cites the very section of yours and since I read the book I feel different, that somewhere out there is a meaning of life and that not all hope is lost. I wish our fellow FA had read the book. :(
"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Glover
"How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
"Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards (Decided I would like to try drawing to expand my small list of interests)
How much do you interact with people online? I think it would be the best avenue for you to fight your social anxiety.
If you're able to make a friend online, then you could try and do the following steps: Step 1 - chat regularly via text. Step 2 - gradually shift to voice chat. Step 3 - gradually shift to video chat. Step 4 - meet up offline. Just be careful to not get duped by someone who wants to do you harm.
If you have a hard time making friends online (or at all), like most of us (I think), then maybe try role playing. There are lots of play by post forums where you can play at a slow pace. Alternatively, you could try something like Roll20, where you can find groups to play with, usually via voice or video chat.
All of the advice above is basically the goals I have set for myself. I have little to no friends and still have a long way to go, but I do think that this method will produce results, given time.
It's okay...I'm actually using match.com. My therapist told me to avoid Tinder (aka hook up apps)
She's very honest with me, she has told me stuff I didn't like to hear so I can't agree with other comments saying she's just telling me what I want to hear.
Here's a bit more on that which I found interesting, taken from that photo feeler website someone linked to the other day
>Since the invention of mirrors, people have come to know their own image quite intimately. You see yourself in the mirror at least once every morning and night, using it as a tool to ensure you're presenting yourself the way you want to.
>It's easy to take for granted, however, that your mirror image is not your actual image. It's a "flipped" version of what you look like to other people. Since no one's face is 100% symmetrical, flipping the image around actually makes a very noticeable difference to us.
>So when we see a photo of ourselves, we favor those representations that look most like our reflected image. Meanwhile, studies show that others prefer our actual image. There lies the rub, leading us to consistently choose photos of ourselves that aren't our best in the eyes of others.
>The scientific name for this phenomenon is the mere-exposure effect, and neighboring human tendencies like emotional lateralization and the left gaze bias (which cause us to linger on certain parts of our face) only worsen it.
It is never too late to develop social skills. 20 is still really young, hell not even legal to drink in the US. Don't be afraid of making mistakes, everyone does. I was forever alone all through my late teens but after turning 20 I decided to improve myself first, working on stuff I like (drawing, painting, music) getting to the gym, and finding groups of people with similar interests (try meetup.com). Slowly I gained more confidence and even made a few friends. I've even gone through a couple of relationships as a result. I'm single again but this time with some experience and a way more positive outlook. People pick up on that, and respond positively. Good luck to you and keep your head up, you got this.
It didn't change my life, but the most helpful book I've read in a while is Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People. There's nothing new in that whole damn thing. 90% of it is just stuff that's obvious. It's probably just me being autistic, but I just found that having those obvious rules of conversation written out in front of me was really helpful to have. It definitely improved my social skills.
http://www.khanacademy.org/ You can learn without going to school. The Internet is a great resource for any kind of generalized knowledge you are after.
I am sure you are a good person now, but have a personal goal of becoming a better person. Use this goal to shape your decision making process.
> ‘When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility for other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks,'
And here's the implication that we don't take care of ourselves and take too many risks. Never mind the study that shows that risk-taking behavior causes people to lose their virginity earlier. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well, it's just a simple quiche recipe. I found this link that more or less explains what I did. I just used olive oil instead of butter, and soya and eggplants instead of broccoli. I didn't use the eggs and added a bunch of spices for colour and flavour. That's it. :)
It is well known in economics that physical attractiveness matter in the job market, although it should really be intuitive anyway.
Here's a link to the paper that BZenMojo referenced for the many people who don't have access to it
Are those statistics globally or just the US? I'd agree that prostitution sucks for people in poor regions of the world, but assuming your fucking a white girl in a rich country (like on BunnyRanch), it's mostly likely someone doing it for money.
There's a Penn and Teller episode about prostitution that's worth watching.
> I don't think I've watched/read a single "FA" movie or book without a happy ending.
Watch The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, currently streaming on Netflix. There is a happy ending, of sorts, but not of him finding a girlfriend or anything.
Don't worry, you won't have to go to work for that much longer.
Read book. Forgive, forget.
Parents suck a being parents. Maybe one day we all can be a little less shitty to the next generation.
I had the same mentality. Now at 25, it's still the same. I remembered being depressed and sad bc I knew I couldn't be with someone. Today I'm past that, dead inside. So I just work for a betterself only for me and treating myself with this https://www.amazon.ca/Body-Back-Trigger-Therapy-Massage/dp/B07777S8J8?th=1&psc=1
Check out 'The Charisma Myth' by Olivia Fox Cabane. It showed me that charisma is a trainable skill rather than something innate. You can buy a physical copy on Amazon or download it here from bookzz. The bookzz version is only available in epub format.
To be fair, you don't really need to be creative to be artistic. I'm actually half decent at drawing but I'm not actually that creative; it's all technique. It's also not really a hand dexterity thing, it's a practice thing. I've literally spent the last 20ish years of my life drawing, painting, and refining techniques which is why I can draw things from memory or likenesses of people and objects.
It really isn't talent because somebody "talented" at drawing doesn't follow the general rules and techniques you'd expect; it's very wild and coarse compared to a person with a lot of training and practice. If you really want to learn, I would suggest Color and Light: A Guide for the Realist Painter by James Gurney which is an absolutely brilliant teaching method for colour theory. As for actually learning to draw, I would suggest Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. It'll fuck you up but you'll definitely get the techniques down pat after going through the exercises.
Pianos are way more reasonable to get cheap compared to some other instruments. Violins and guitars are actually way more finicky than pianos when they're shitty to the point that a $50~$100 violin or guitar literally cannot be tuned sometimes.
I would suggest getting a keyboard from pretty much any electronics store; low-end keyboards are usually quite cheap for an instrument. Or even get one off Amazon. The only downside is that the keys usually don't have much weight to them so the way you play them varies slightly. But it's close enough that you can learn all the techniques and practice without blowing huge amounts of cash.
Just checked his video info and he stands "not sponsored by 'HOLLA'.
A Quick google search and I found the particular app.... developed by smb from Hong Kong and they ask to have permission to your whole phone and life. Not sure if its worth it....
Quick EDIT: Google Play Link
Meditation is good for relaxing, but it's also much much more than that.
The biggest benefit of meditation I'd say is distancing yourself from the thoughts in your mind. Once you calmly observe your own thinking for long enough, you see patterns, you see the ebbs and flows, and it helps you let go of things and to avoid getting caught up in faulty thinking.
Meditation puts you in touch with the present moment. This helps you put things in perspective and appreciate the little things in life. FA's suffer pain from being alone, but we also add our own suffering on top of that, through our negative thoughts. You can't get rid of the original pain, but you can learn how to avoid adding suffering on top of it.
For those who are curious, I recommend the book "Mindfulness in Plain English".
You might want to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It helped me a lot. Get the Hays translation. Just because you are gonna die alone does not mean your life will be meaningless...there are more things in life than relationships. It is your sadness and depression that are a BIG contributor to your FAness; it's a vicious cycle. Focus on making male friends and not feeling suicidal. Best of luck.
Do it, get the fuck out of here. Subscribe to /r/getmotivated /r/howtonotgiveafuck
Make small achievable goals to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Do one thing a day that makes you nervous socially, whether that is talking to a stranger, saying something silly to someone or whatever.
Remember, so much of social success is about momentum. It is hard to get moving at first and things will be slow especially if you are currently at a social standstill, but every little bit of inertia will add and grow untill the ball is rolling seemingly by itself. The hardest part is to stick through the slow beginning, a lot of people don't see as much progress as quickly as they want and just let shit go back to a standstill.
Also, one of the best ways to get over the bullshit negativity in your head is through meditation. Seriously seriously read this: "Mindfulness in Plain English" completely (it is not a terribly long read, only about 100 page book) and commit yourself to it. I used to think there was no escape from the negative mental loops my brain would get stuck in, I used to think there was no way to get a break from the endless chattering of my thinking mind. This has been the answer for me.
Good luck man, I know if you put your mind to it you can achieve the things you want to. Remember to commit yourself to what you want, and more importantly remember to be patient and forgiving of yourself.
No. We're not talking about a normal, normie story where 2 people get equally drunk together and they hook up happily. We're talking about 1 FA guy planning way in advance to have sex with a drunk girl who def doesn't want to have sex with him sober.
That isn't made up, should be rape, thinking. That's actual, legal, you belong in jail rape. Get out of here with your BS feminazi accusations. Educate yourself
http://www.businessinsider.com/can-you-get-convicted-of-rape-if-you-were-drunk-2013-11 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/were-both-drunk-addressing-sexual-assault-alcohol-stephanie-l-mcclure?forceNoSplash=true
> When a person is intoxicated they are unable to give consent. Non-consensual sex is sexual assault and it is against the law. It doesn’t matter if both parties were intoxicated or not, sexual assault is still against the law.
Here's a list
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/insomnia/symptoms-causes/syc-20355167
Most are benign. A rare few aren't. Most can also be treated.
Probably because people say stuff like this in real life and not just on the internet. I'm sorry but any accurate perception of reality should tell you the VAST majority of women are not attracted to fat guys. But if you read those replies you'd think a lot of women are way more flexible on what they find physically attractive than they really are.
Just look at some of these replies:
>Yes Girls DO get attracted to fat guys
>fat guys can get with girls, no doubt
>The answer is absolutely yes. girls will be attracted to... someone big
You'd think fat guys have a lot more options than they actually do. Too much feels, not enough reals.
I'll give you the same advice I give to everyone else who is bored. Do something crazy. Buy a big knife. Be somebody. Of course, the knife is metaphor, most people don't get that, but really, go do some graffiti or seed bombings.
I thought of that myself and as it turns out quite a lot of people would be interested.
I was to depressed to motivate myself to do it though until now and currently I don't have the time to do a testrun, but I might do it in a few weeks. If you do want to do some matchmaking yourself then at least you now know that there certainly is an audience for it, so go for it.
I agree very attractive women will date average guys. But I see plenty of average looking guys date much less attractive women.
Its just no one pays attention to average guys aor aunnattractive women.
I dont know abotu income seeing as men are more likely to be the breadwinner in a relationship. So the numbers may be skewed
http://time.com/7442/wives-are-now-more-educated-than-husbands/
but based on this article the education thing is untrue with
Also ypung women make more then young men rigth now
So Im not even sure if young men are datign women who make less.
DO you have data to back up your claims?
I had a family party on Christmas Eve; it was ok, I made a Print and Play version of a social deduction game called "Spyfall" so I introduced it to some of my extended family members. It was pretty fun and we had some laughs. [LINK] if you're interested
After the 25th I bought a few things during the Boxing week sales. Some of it was practical items but most were collectibles, entertainment and novelties; I love to hunt for bargains so that was good.
Randomly I thought about games I had never got around to playing so I downloaded an SNES emulator and started Chrono Trigger. So far 4hours in IMO it's pretty derivative but I guess that's understandable considering its a 20 year old game. Still, I'm hoping it gets better because of all the praise I've heard for it.
These past 3 days have been pretty boring; I haven't talked to anyone except my immediate family.
One good thing is the place I work at slows down a lot during this period so there are hefty chunks of downtime when I can surf the 'net or relax.
It's a bit embarrassing, but HP:SSHG. For the best of the genre, see http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality
For the worst of the genre, see the rest of the internet.
I found the original paper: http://www.nature.com/srep/2014/141120/srep07049/full/srep07049.html
5-HTA1 receptor is related to serotonin. People with this variant feel less comfortable in close relationships. However, it's possible that the results are only relevant to Han Chinese people.
The G allele that they found was associated with not being in a relationship has been found by other researchers to be associated with: suicide attempts, depression, neuroticism and other mood disorders. However, some studies have found no association.
If you use 23andMe, you can see your genotype here: https://www.23andme.com/you/explorer/snp/?snp_name=rs6295
Unless you have a friend that does programming too, then no one would care. Do you know Project Euler ? Get a friend into it and you can discuss your solutions and other stuff.
Well thats a tough one. If you are also using AJAX on the page there could be problems with the jQuery syntax. If that is the case you should type "jQuery(document)" instead of the "$". Because AJAX (or maybe other javascript libraries) already use the $ and block the jQuery. In firebug you can set breakpoints in the javascript. Maybe this shows better if the code is executed.
Edit: Oh and you wrote initially that you are using the js in the page body. I would recommend to move it to the page header.
Edit2: If nothing helps, I am using this one
I don't do any hard drugs but yeah I drink at least 2 or 3 times a week. In fact right now I'm on one of those days. Youtube open on one tab listening to depression music and drinking a bunch. I mean its the only time period where I get to feel "good" somewhat.
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Tomorrow I will be reminded that so far I'm up to 110 messages sent to 110 different women on match.com and 0 replies. lmao
> I got a perfect song for you then. It's detroit underground group called 6mile cobraz called "the hatred inside of me". One of they lyrics is " I hate the world cuz the world don't like me". " I don't wanna sleep no more I don't even wanna eat no more." I know the producer. > > > > http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=474373
Short hair and a little bit of stubble get me everytime. Almost anyone with stubble instantly becomes 10x more attractive to me. But if we are talking famous people: Chris Pine , the Hemsworth brothers, etc.
Really? Volunteering is probably the #1 or #2 suggestion for curing loneliness.
http://www.reddit.com/search?q=lonely+volunteer&sort=relevance&t=all
http://www.metafilter.com/contribute/search.mefi?site=ask&q=lonely+volunteer
Here's one I got when I asked about this :) > Volunteer somewhere. Make someone's day better just by you being there.
But as the OP notes, if you have social awkwardness, it doesn't work.
It was $12, now I can have nachos guilt free. The best investment I've made in this journey.
I basically wallowed in misery for 9 years after developing an impossible crush in high school. Then a friend commented that maybe I just liked being miserable, and, since I couldn't bear the idea that I might be complicit in my own suffering, I resolved to find some way to feel better, no matter what.
So I researched it, tried self help books, and experimented. Tried the hermit route for a while; and discovered why isolation is the ultimate punishment doled out in prisons. Yikes!
Read Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning when I was homeless. Also read thousands more books during my life.
Decided I had to build myself a social network to survive. Used my family for the core of it. Helped others. Listened to them. That reduced my isolation, and so my depression and loneliness too.
I never gave up hope, and kept trying, when opportunities came my way. Maintained a robust fantasy life to have a bit of happiness every day (Nazi death camp survivors did that to survive their ordeal). Also stayed busy, and so distracted from being FA; and not dwelling on it (dwelling is bad).
Eventually began writing up some really grand fantasies in books and publishing them. Plus posted stuff on my web site.
Also improved my mood by getting healthier. Eating right, working out regularly (did 50 minutes on a machine today, plus 60 pushups, 40 chin ups, and 30 deep squats), and getting enough sleep.
Helping others, including strangers, eventually gained me my first real new friend in decades: a young lady half my age, who has helped me create some of my most recent books.
Helping others also led to me getting my first GF: a lady ten years younger than me. Though it only lasted a couple months, it made me deliriously happy; and seemed to fix some stuff inside me.
The GF happened a few years ago, in my late fifties.
That's it in a nutshell.
Seems like my hobbies change out every 6 weeks or so...I've been spending all my free time reading and watching documentaries about the history of globalization: 1493, Guns Germs & Steel, The Wealth of Nations, The World Economy: A Millenial Interpretation, etc
Before that, it was film noir. Before that, openworld games (mostly TES and Fallout)...I really couldn't tell you the line of thought between one and the next.
But, hands down my favorite book for the last few years is 40 Stories from Donald Barthelme. He's often immitated, but no one can match him. Richard Brautigan is another favorite. Short fiction in general is a passion of mine. Probably because I like to attempt to write.
Edit: wrong word fixed
Some of them are being kind of rude, but I think the top comment's advice is good. Ask them about anything! What he's really getting at, I think, is active listening. Basically, you want to listen actively to what they're saying and respond to it (either form a question about it or offer up something relevant from your own experience). It sometimes helps to repeat what they've said. "What kind of food do you like?" "Oh, all kinds." "All kinds, eh? Have you ever tried Indian?" or "What kind of things do you like to do?" "I like movies." "What are your favourite movies?" or "Me too! I love sci-fi movies."
Anyways, communication is a skill that can be practiced and improved, so I wouldn't sweat it too much. If you're hesitant to test it out on other people, I'd recommend maybe reading a book or something. Off the top of my head I can only think of a section in The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. Most of the book deals with depression and anxiety disorders, which could be helpful in its own right, but it also has a chapter on communication--techniques which allow you to express yourself better and listen better. I could type a summary of the listening skills, but it's better to read the whole thing (it has you do exercises as well!)
Go listen to The Power Of Now over and over again. Just disregard the airy fairy shit. Sam Harris' next book is essentially going to be about this, too, but it's not out yet. And here's my experience with it: http://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/znhxv/how_i_completely_rid_myself_of_crippling_anxiety/
Watching now - not gonna read anything on this post till I'm done, then I'll come back and read all.
Thanks for the recc!! Bbs!
Oh - sorry - here's the link: (it's not on youtube):
The problem is that you can't forget to take into account the people that we find attractive and the potential people that could find us attractive.
I'm not saying a girl I find unattractive wouldn't like me, me problem is the whole "finding someone I like who reciprocate feelings"
I look like this. Every girl I've genuinely liked has been a colossal failure so why not accept the fact that you're ugly?
Stewart is actually pretty goddamn hot.
These are my favourite songs when I feel down. (Trance/Electronic)
meetup.com or go to a club at your UNI.
It's a great resource for meeting new people. Don't meet people just to "meet people". You can still have fulfilling social interaction without a lover of best friend. Just find a hobby you enjoy, like DND or Poker, and go to one of these meetings.
Meeting new people is easier than ever, no one really cares if you mess up in the long term. Stigmas don't follow you around outside of HS.
Making serious connections though, is difficult and requires work. You won't find love from work or college. Join a club and enjoy yourself.
Happy 30th Birthday. An accomplishment most ignore.
Hard truth: that feeling of sadness is what comes when you lose something that meant a great deal to you. And It will pass. You will eventually find something to replace it if you allow the past be the past. It may be awhile to find an equal outlet for all your needs and wishes, but you may find something greater than you had before too!
I'd like to poke at an assumption you seem to be making; do you think its fundamentally necessary for someone who is self-assured to also proclaim certainty about things they aren't sure of?
Can you imagine someone who carries himself with and has an air of confidence, but can say "I'm not sure. My first thought would be [...], does that make sense? Is there a better way to think about this?". He might be at ease in social situations, feel like he deserves to be there, be secure in himself and his role in the group, speak as if he's worth listening too (let's call this social confidence) without necessarily having to be certain about everything he's speaking about (let's call that epistemic confidence). (Quite a few famous figures match this description)
You can also imagine the opposite, someone who trips over his words, stammering and interrupting who claims complete certainty but can't explain his reasoning.
Social confidence can and should be trained in to, but epistemic confidence can and should be trained out of, so if you're confusing the two, you'll end up going around in circles. (All of this is taken from The Scout Mindset by Julia Galef, which you might find a useful guide to this territory)
I also had a similar idea in the past, only I wanted to set up a free matching system for people who wanted to hassle each other about completing their goals or projects. I didn't end up doing it because I asked a few people and they mostly told me they'd prefer to be bothered by an automated reminder. Their reasons were that real people are unreliable and might forget or just give up on motivating you. Other people can push you to do something you've been procrastinating on, but they can't make you feel really, really motivated to finish it. That has to come from YOU.
A somewhat relevant TED talk about intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation.
Incorrect, read this on asymptomatic shedding of the herpes virus, ie no cold sore or lesion but the virus is still being shed from you to your partner. https://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/news/20110412/genital-herpes-silent-spread#1
Chrome, on Windows 7. I'm also running ghostery and disconnect, which might be the problem.
I did CBT with the help of this book https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336
I was also abusing 5-HTP during that time, and I believe I got Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD). My libido is almost non-existent and my orgasms are weak. I no longer get morning wood or any sexual dreams.
I did not do this on purpose, but I don't regret it. I've been asexual for the past few years and it made me the confident, funny person that I alwags wanted to be.
I understand that this is a very extreme case however, so be careful.
http://myanimelist.net/manga/8967/Onani_Master_Kurosawa
Read some of the reviews here. It's a series about change - about the journey of a person. Don't let the premise discourage you!
Sorry for the late reply by the way - I didn't notice that someone had replied :X
There are studies that show that a certain set of symmetrical facial features are "Attractive" and it's all hardwired into each of our brains as such.
>Now, some of them may open their idiot mouths and ruin everything, but physically, they are quite lovely.
Yes, I know "Lovely" and I think that's the best word here for a type of physical beauty.... mostly facial attractiveness. But it's a kind of catch-22 as well. Yes, their experiences are different but it's not all 100% cakewalk either.
"Pretty" girls are some of the most insecure walled off and abused women I've ever known. Sometimes it really is better to be a "damn fine woman" that you can love and live with than one that you constantly have to beat other suitors off with a stick every time you step outside. Other women hate you for how your were born and it's very difficult to develop any trust in men... after being told that only the "hottest guys" are the ones you should go out with. Then to have them constantly cheat upon you. (again... studies)
Yeah, I've heard it all... from women I've either dated, GF or gotten to know.
In this case, it's better to be "above average" than to be tip top attractive... just like it is to be very intelligent and trying to mingle with normal people in a cocktail setting.
> People are friendlier here, that's known around the world.
I'm skeptical. Also, it's hard to tell because different areas of one country or even different areas within one city can be very different.
https://www.quora.com/Are-Canadians-nicer-and-more-friendly-than-Americans
> FA is not "society makes me alone" it "I am alone because of things I am not doing due to a variety of personal reasons"
That's not entirely true. Others bullying me and then later being "too busy" while having plenty of free time to spend with others contributed to making me FA. I guess North American culture makes people only value other people as a commodity. Why spend time or effort on someone who's less fun if more fun options are available? That makes it hard to develop the skills, habits and mental state which lets one compete in such a society.
Dating is like playing chess:
You think you're good at it after practicing on your own and hyping yourself up. You go up against a real person with at least some confidence. You realize they have practiced way longer and have far more experience. You get crushed and then cry in a corner.
Being quiet and shy is not as much of an issue for girls because typically, guys approach girls (thanks, asshole social standards). Granted, if you want to take this up, by all means go ahead (you'll make the guy's day), but it's not a strict requirement like it is for guys. However, I say passively advertise your interests. Buy (or stencil) some shirts that represent your interests, and wear them everywhere. Don't be afraid to talk about what you really enjoy and what you do in your spare time - it's who you are, and if someone doesn't like that, it's their problem. In the words of the great Day[9]: > A big thing is to never, never be argumentative... just to be so happy about it.
> If someone came up to me and was like "Starcraft is a dumb game. Do you have no friends or something?"
> It's easy to be like "What do you mean, it's great. I have friends, here look at my Facebook account, I have 600 of them!"
> But instead, if someone's like "Ulgh, you play Starcraft."
> "Dude Starcraft is such a sweet game, do you play?" Like to like literally sidestep whatever terrible intro they did and go straight to the heart of it and be like "This game is awesome, do you play? It's the greatest thing ever." And to relentlessly hold that standpoint. [That's] kick ass.
Beyond that, take good care of your appearance/hygiene (this advice isn't girl-exclusive, btw. Regardless of gender, if you look and smell like a hobo, people will stay the fuck away from you no matter how social you are), and find places to hang out where you'll interact with like-minded people. If you really are who you claim to be, you should have plenty of potential SO's to pick from.
Sure. Functional differences or gross anatomical differences? Functional might be more interesting for psych related issues while gross anatomical makes better cocktail party conversation.
The overarching theme is individual variation is a lot more than sexual variation, but if you do go by strict averages, the male brain is definitely bigger when correcting for body weight,, the female brain might have a bigger corpus callosum when correcting for brain size and body weight, females have more glia/grey matter, men have more white matter/myelinated axons, and parts of the hypothalamus are different in both sexes (with the Interstitial Nucleus of the Anterior Hypothalamus being the big and most controversial one, partly as individual variation is smaller than gender variation, partly because anti-science quacks think we should ignore the fact that INAH3 size is heavily correlated to sexual orientation and apparently linking sexual orientation to anatomy makes a scientist discriminatory It's not like androgens have been shown to have an effect in utero or anything /sarcasm).
Levay has done a lot of interesting studies on the above but goes one step further and looks at gender and sexual orientation. I'd look at his stuff first. He stopped being heavily involved in research two decades ago (though he publishes really good books on human sexuality, which is how I first found him).
Swaab and Hoffman (first article in a crap journal, second one in Nature) have sort of continued his work. You can find some good references in these articles but I find them fascinating, even if the sample size is small, as the transexual element really highlights how sexuality is such as spectrum. It does have info on sexual dimorphism given a binary gender designation though.
As a girl I must ask, is there a reason why girls avoid you or ignore you, like being scared? (please don't get me wrong), in my case, if a random guy comes up to me and sounds uncomfortable I'd freak out... You know like a chase and the chaser? The story never ends well for girls going out with random guys so you have a history there to serve as an example, (again don't get me wrong but that's what they teach us), watch out for strange men.
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Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
I have some thoughts. There's a website called meetup.com where you might find groups that do stuff that interests you. Even if you don't make close friends, you might still make decent acquaintances.
Have you heard of couchsurfing.com? It's an online platform whereby you meet people by either hosting travelers or by being hosted. "hosting" doesn't even have to mean providing a place to sleep. It could also just be hanging out, exploring a city or something. Couchsurfing is also costs no money; the cost is in good will.
I hope that's helpful.
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Mine at least had the courtesy to recommend meetup.com cause you can go to meetups for stuff you're actually interested in. He cut me loose after I told him I made it so it just kinda fell off when I felt like he should've followed through after I tried it out.
In the photo, I'm wearing a beanie with a company logo on it and I'm wearing a full company uniform. Furthermore, I get these reactions even when I'm wearing a regular cap (not the fitted sports caps that many blacks wear, but regular-shaped caps like this, I get these reactions. So, I don't think that wearing a beanie is a factor, especially considering that other blacks, who also wear beanies, aren't avoided or treated with suspicion.
Furthermore, when I was younger, I was always told to "fix my face," meaning to change my facial expression. Others have also told me that I look mean or angry and that I have resting bitch face. Heck, I've literally heard someone say that they didn't like my face.
Ok serious answer time here. Is your shower head clogged? How to clean a clogged shower head Did a quick search could not remember if vinegar or baking soda.
To remove the old shower head if that does not work - do you have one of those rubber things you use to open a stuck jar? that could help you get a grip if you don't a pair of pliers. and you are trying to move just the shower head and not the whole pipe that is sticking out of the wall right?
I mean our shower mod can not be with out a shower. try the cleaning trick first, if that does not work, reply and take a pic of the head and link so can make sure you are going after the right thing. You are not a renter right?
While most TN panels are shit the px2370 is great and has just as good of a gamut as the IPS panels used in the 27" iMac and isn't glossy. Sure TN can suck but if you spend decent money they are fine.
Edit: correction, the gamut is higher. According to Tom's Hardware the gamut on the px2370 is 81.4% while the 27" iMac IPS LED display is 72% for AdobeRGB.
Clearly you didn't read the article. It's a minimum of two weeks with continual experience of the listed symptoms. Grief is something people generally get over, but it shouldn't go on indefinitely.
I'm pretty sure though that there is a difference between sadness and bouts of depression even if they aren't unending.
Haha I think I’m way too novice to tell you how to meditate. Basically, it’s sitting in a quiet room and focusing on your breath for three to 20 minutes or longer, but it can be different than that — you can focus on ideas or visualizations, you can meditate while walking or commuting, and there are other techniques that will help you as you progress training the mind. At first, sitting in a quiet room and focusing on breathing is kinda hard because your mind will think a million different thoughts that will distract you from focusing on breathing and quieting the mind. A good meditation guide will teach you how to get better at it.
I picked the HeadSpace app because it’s the first meditation app that’s popped up in the iTunes Store at the time. I wanted to try meditation because I was seeking an inner peace and I was getting a Matrixy/Westworld/Buddhist Dharma feeling that the world wasn’t quite real as I previously thought. I stayed with the app because I like the guide’s voice; it’s really soothing. He’s also the cofounder of the app and a former Buddhist monk.
You could also try reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now . It’s a classic new age self help book, and he touches on meditation. The book started coming up in conversations for me after I started meditating, and I listened to it on audiobook and really like it.
What the fuck is this shit?
Apparently, a distance of 700km in the country with the world's best train system is some impossible obstacle. Here, I googled it for you: It's just under 10 hours by train for 220 bucks. Not something you can do every weekend, sure, but also certainly not some "we'll never see each other again hurrr durrr" like the movie tries to make it out to be. And if the kids had half a brain, they could also i.e. meet halfway for half the cost and time.
The second part makes even less sense. The guy promises to write, so he stops writing, despite still being obviously in love with her. Good going mate, you're prime /r/foreveralone material. The other girl who loves him decides to not confess because she is an anime. No words.
Finally, the last part, once both of them are adults(Note how the movie conveniently completely skips college - even though it's a perfect way for two young people to get together, since both can just study at the same place or even in the same town/city). And yes, again, even though both of them are perfectly capable of traveling, and even though both apparently still love each other(THE GUY EVEN FUCKING LOSSES HIS JOB BECAUSE OF IT), they still don't do jack shit about it because no reason.
And of course the final scene. Hey, I've been in love with you for the past 13 years; so I'm going to completely ignore you when I meet you randomly on a street(wow, same street? So that means they're in the same city? So apparently travel is possible in Japan after all? Amazing)
The only heart-wrenching thing about this movie is that there are people so fucking stupid in this world that they simply "won't notice" all this obvious bullshit and actually enjoy it. It even won a fucking award! I guess that knowledge could put someone in depression for weeks.
If you want something that will take you outdoors, try geocaching, there's also [/r/geocaching](/r/geocaching). People hide a container and post the gps coordinates online. Then you go find it.
Bloodline Champions.
The most epic and amazing arena PvP game ever invented, ever. Fuck League of Legends, BLC will give you boners, even if you are a girl.
http://www.bloodlinechampions.com/
Edit: [](/party "I play with myself")
Do you exercise? If gyms are too intimidating, do what I do: go for long walks and runs. I also like logical things (Project Euler FTW!) and yes, such interests are a sausage-fest. Unfortunately, it seems that for guys like us, we have to immerse ourselves in activities we don't like if we want to have even a chance of meeting a woman.
You still have to be decent looking for them to be attracted to you, unlike the opposite where asian women will literally go gaga over a balding white guy with beer belly. Anyway, this is one example of an asian boy who has a lot of white girls wanting to date him. You can see a lot of them in the comments for his tiktok videos. I've seen comments that say that they are into Asian guys. Would take so much effort to LARP so many accounts.
Nice, fantasy and romance are my top two genres. Not into comedy much but with how much I love romance, I end up loving romcoms too.
If you decide to try Glass Mask, it's on CR: https://www.crunchyroll.com/glass-mask/episode-1-the-girl-of-a-thousand-masks-522314. Might take a few episodes before it really gets going.
I think you should start using programming as a tool for what you like, rather than focusing on 'learning programming' itself. When I started - I wanted to make games. And I kept creating unfinished, nasty programms, but i was learning more and more by forcing them to do what I wanted.
Do you like drawing? Have a look at processing ( https://processing.org ) - use existing example and try to change it so it will produce what you want.
Or have a look on python programming language (https://www.python.org) - it is a 'real' language. It is very popular and easy.
Cool, I'll check it out! I need to go to bed now, or my dad is getting angry (living alone would be cool af, but not so cool for my sleep schedule LOL)
It was nice talking to you, wait, do I still have it? Yeah, here it is.
Almost got pulled in by those Match.com ads too. The one I see regularly is a couple being touchy-feely and acting way too loved up in public. I kind of felt "yeah I want that". Then another woman walks past them and looks disgusted. I related to that so strongly the 1st time I saw it, realising that what they are depicting is total BS. There is more chance of Hell freezing over than there is of a woman feeling that way towards me.
Your still well below the gold digging threshold (~250,000 according to Match.com)
There is nothing wrong with using that as your primary mating angle. Just remember that you will be the one with the power and to not settle for the first one that comes along. If you really want to lean on this angle, travel to tourist places. Everyone looks better in The Bahamas.
So recently I learned through listening to NPR that the Match group, the people that own Match.com & OkCupid (and apparently Adam Ruins Everything) also owns Tinder. So it made sense in my head why I couldn't get anywhere with Tinder. Just like the aforementioned sites, they're only made for the attractive and no one else (I mean life is made for the attractive am I right?).
This is coming from someone who has used Tinder for months to about a year & change...it's never worth it & it never works out. If you're thinking about trying Tinder...don't.
I got a perfect song for you then. It's detroit underground group called 6mile cobraz called "the hatred inside of me". One of they lyrics is " I hate the world cuz the world don't like me". " I don't wanna sleep no more I don't even wanna eat no more." I know the producer.