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However, it will still be the same inherently-hard-to-moderate addictive drug interacting with the same brain as it was the last time, and trying to drink 'socially' is a very risky strategy indeed...

The idea of 'learning' to moderate fails to take this into account...

The latest studies indicate that there is no 'safe' level of alcohol consumption for human beings, and that no level of drinking improves health, so the notion of having a 'healthy' relationship with it is a myth, just like there is no such thing as having a healthy relationship with cigarettes...

I'd suggest reading Alcohol Explained and/or This Naked Mind before you try it!

The human brain doesn't finish developing until the age of 25-ish, and one of the single best things you can do for improved/stable mental health is to avoid drinking alcohol...

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

Woody :>)>

That book made it easy for me. It is free. That and /r/stopdrinking

https://www.docdroid.net/3wVw87h/this-naked-mind-pdf-final-annie-grace-1-pdf

Congrats on your milestone!

>it sucks. I crave alcohol every day. I even considered taking a swig of my after shave the other day. And I know I could go buy booze and no one will no except me

Sounds like there's a bit of 'white knuckling' going on there - sobriety doesn't have to feel like that, you know...

My colleague is right, it's unusual to still be having strong daily cravings this far in, and it's a testament to your determination that you've made it this far without giving in!

I had to actively re-wire my brain so that it no longer saw alcohol as something desirable, and learn techniques for dealing with the cravings, as well as getting support from other addicts in recovery, working on the underlying issues and creating a life that I don't feel the need to escape from...

Over time the cravings got weaker and further apart until they virtually disappeared altogether (these days I might get a very brief one once in a blue moon if that, been sober since mid-2017 so nearly 4 years now) - I wish the same for you!

The videos on Overcoming Cravings from 'This Naked Mind' were very helpful when I first stopped, and reading the book of the same name would be a good idea too...

Keep up the good work, and keep us posted!

Woody :>)>

I've been watching Khan Academy videos. They hold my attention because I can't passively listen or I won't learn the material and cannot continue on to the next video. There are tons of topics and the videos are 5-15 minutes long.

Hey there, I have no experience with alcoholism, nor have I ever attended an AA meeting, but I recently read a book called "The Power of Habit" which explores how AA was created, and how it's not the religious side of AA that works, but its ability to help you re-wire your brain's reward system.

I actually have NO idea if this is even true, but I just wanted to pass it along in case it helps with your recovery.

Here's an addicts take on the book I'm talking about.

If it was me, I'd try the inexpensive options first, especially if you're still on the fence about stopping...

You can put a dollar in the bucket at a LOT of recovery meetings and buy yourself a whole pile of 'Quit Lit' and still have plenty of change out of 1500 bucks!

I detoxed at home with a prescription from my doctor, spent lots of time here and at r/stopdrinking and filled my head with free recovery podcasts and YouTube videos, and probably spent less than the price of a round of drinks all in, and am still sober 4 years later...

The amount of money spent doesn't necessarily equate to a better quality of recovery or chance of success, and rehab/detox is just a start, it's not a magic once-and-done permanent fix, it's what you do afterwards that really makes the difference...

Here's a bootleg copy of This Naked Mind, and the first 5 chapters of Alcohol Explained can be read for free there, in case that helps...

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and keep us posted!

Woody :>)>

If you are concerned that you did damage to yourself because you drank to much, you should see a Dr.

Fun fact, alcohol causes depression. Depending on how susceptible you are, it can be worse the more you drink.

Check this out: https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/alcohol-and-depresssion

Just for the record, if you were to go on AA's website and take their "are you an alcoholic" test, you most certainly would qualify as being one.

Also, if you are questioning your behaviour and your drinking is causing you health issues then yes, you have a problem that you should deal with now before it gets harder.

Good luck.

I don't know what a unit is in this context, If a unit = a drink, this is way beyond healthy. 14 drinks a week for a man and 7 a week for a woman is the line you have crossed. link

For what is is worth, a drink is either a 12 oz beer, a 7 oz glass of wine or 1.5 oz of 80 proof hard liquor. Of course some beers and liquors are much higher in alcohol content than others.

If you're concerned, just go see your Dr.

Don't sweat it too much. I've seen you on this and /r/stopdrinking for years, I think the amount of good advice you've doled out vastly outweighs the bad. Besides, what the hell could you have said? This kid needs to talk to a lawyer, doctor, family member, etc. The denizens of reddit and /r/alcoholism can't do much for them. And FYI, If you want to know more about the less scrupulous side of the rehab industry, this article is a decent starting place. Like any medical operation where insurance is paying, there is a lot of fraud.

https://books.google.com/books?id=S99Psj35kQAC&pg=PA286&lpg=PA286&dq=antabuse+pharmacokinetics&source=bl&ots=3Ndk0rqhAL&sig=eYfUQ-SBMAN_lb90UEzxbItPMc4&hl=en&sa=X&ei=Gz7-VJbXFoq_ggTUl4ToCg&ved=0CBcQ6AEwAzgU

To their credit it is a VERY well run group. They have a website. They also record all speaker meetings and put them online.

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B4rFOeNubPQuZjhKdDNqYnhfTkU&usp=sharing

I often find myself just listening to the speaker meetings and not going.

And with that I wrote an app while I was in recovery to stay sober. It has links to meeting rooms and rehab centers across the US. Apologize for the shameless plug but it's living proof even an ex-drunk dumb ass like me can do anything when sober. Stay zSober.

Here’s the apple version.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/zsober/id1564402310

Android

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.rooms.rehabilitation

There are a million ways to quit. Start searching what they are. Know that you are the one that must decide to quit. Until you do, this chaos will continue in your life. I used Rational Recovery methods to quit. Others use AA. A lot of people recommended the book, This Naked Mind. Start working on you and what happens with your fiancé might have a better chance of working out.

This Naked Mind

Well, there is the California Serenity Prayer, "Fuck it," or my condensed version, "is it me or is it them" which lets me decide whether it requires work or just letting it go.

https://www.amazon.com/POTIY-Sobriety-Encouraging-Alcoholics-Anniversary/dp/B07WDJ661Z

I know a guy in the program who has "Fuck It" inscribed on the helm of his 65 ft sailboat. My sailing friend was asking him questions about the boat, and he was visibly a bit annoyed by her. She asked if he was ever scared when on a boat of that size, and he commented "anyone who says that they are never scared has started lying to you." Hmmmm, that sounded familiar. He then followed with a comment about FI being inscribed on the helm, and I alluded to the California Serenity Prayer, whereupon he introduced himself as a friend of Bill and we were suddenly treated to an hour-long full tour of the boat. All the time my friend was wondering "what just happened?" We are everywhere.

My sponsor recommended an awesome book for me called: "The Daily Stoic". It's helped me put things into perspective and has been an awesome tool in my newfound recovery. Feel free to PM me anytime. I wish you the best. No matter what you've lost a drink can only make things worse... and trust me, things can be much worse. It's never too late to improve your situation. There's an old Chinese proverb that goes: "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago... the 2nd best time is right now."

This book was a great read...."Alcohol Lied to Me: The Intelligent Way to Escape Alcohol Addiction 2014 - Updated Third Edition By Craig Beck" I'm currently reading "The Power of Habit"..... wish you the best man. You should take a look at the "Stop Drinking" reddit sub.... just know your not alone... there is help and a way out.... trust me.

The older I get, the more comfortable I am with accepting I know very little, and thus become more open to things. However, the beliefs I do hold close to heart become more rigid. Yoga reminds of the physical part every day; although, my practice keeps things as young as possible.

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few” ― Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind: Informal Talks on Zen Meditation and Practice

I can tell you how I recovered from alcoholism.

TL,DR /u/ Treatment, Buddhism, AA, Steps, no obsession *fully recovered from alcoholism. * No f-in way I'm drinking again I went to Hazelden for 6 weeks. I, like others who post here, was given the gift of desperation. So, instead of being different and the smartest guy in the room I shut my pie hole and became willing to do whatever it may take to not die. A week into my stay a guy on my unit heard me share about the storm going on in my head. Kosta recommended The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thích Nhất Hahn. THAT BOOK SAVED MY LIFE. That is not hyperbole. I was hell bent on killing myself because I wasn't good enough, smart enough, blah blah blah....so I drank to kill the story my mind was telling me. I began meditating, praying, breathing, educating myself about alcoholism, Buddhism, and Taoism. I adopted Buddhism and combined it with my Christianity and I had a spiritual foundation perfect for me. A miracle happened when I went back to AA after my treatment. I got a sponsor who helped me work the steps in a timely fashion and the obsession was lifted. *Zero obsession! * WUT?!? I couldn't believe it. I had taken Naltrexone years before and that was the only time I felt relief from craving but not obsession. (Of course I wanted to get plastered so I stopped the meds). It's been an amazing journey to date including losing a mid 6 figure job, but a job is a job, it doesn't define who I am any longer. I have some incredible sober bros in my crew. We text, call, and go to breakfast before our home group on Saturday morning. I am grateful, diligent, willing to give of myself without expectation. If any of this is attractive I'd give AA a shot.

If all of this seems like a lot of work you bet your ass it is. Can you just go to meetings and stay sober? Not in my experience (15 years of went to meetings and kept drinking )

It takes courage and perseverance. Peace, Mark Ps on my phone forgive typos and grammar 😜

Stephen King has an interesting bit in the section of On Writing in which he talks about his addiction and recovery where he admits that, even after decades of sobriety, he will still see someone just sort of toying with a half-full glass of wine in a restaurant and he wants to go up to them and say, will you just go ahead and fucking drink it already?

Make him breakfast, make his lunch, leave the beef room door unlocked, spend the night in the house are a few options I can think of. I know it’s not easy, and I’m so sorry your going through this. Al Anon is really a great place to start, here is a book that outlines similar concepts

I am now a non drinker, but I was abusing my system so much, that some mornings I would wake up and feel actual pain in my organs. When I got clean I used these: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Parameter-Analysis-Strips-Functions-Collection/dp/B08NW8XLPL/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=liver+and+kidney+function+test&qid=1659355716&sr=8-5 to see if I had caused any permanent damage, it gave me a starting point to speak to the doctor.

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol (and ending up with addiction problems) is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism'... been there, done that!

When all you have is a Hammer, every problem starts to look like a Nail, as the saying goes...

If there's also a history of addictive behaviour in your close family as well as the autism, that puts you in a very high risk category for addiction, IF you drink, so it would be wise to stay away from it!

You're absolutely right about showing early signs of dependency, by the way, and it's only going to get worse if you keep drinking...

The book Drinking to Cope? by Hendrickx and Tinsley may be an interesting read, along with the excellent Alcohol Explained...

Learning better coping strategies for difficult feelings and creating an autism-friendly lifestyle for yourself where you can be authentically you without needing to drink would be the best way forward - some 'drinking buddies' may fall by the wayside, and that is perfectly normal and healthy; true friends will support you and want the best for you regardless of whether or not they drink themselves...

You can always to talk to us or the folks at r/stopdrinking about whatever you're going through, WE get it even if the people around you don't!

Best of luck, and keep us posted!

Woody :>)>

I found these on Amazon and have been doing them in spare time. they help me relax and then I have artwork for my house or to give as a gift paint by numbers on canvas

I hear you!

Self-medicating the symptoms of autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism' (been there, done that!), this book may be an interesting read on the subject, I've not read it yet myself but it's on the reading list...

I'm sure there will be more than a few autistic folks floating around on r/stopdrinking if you make yourself known there, it might be easier to find your 'tribe' somewhere like that than it is in real life...

I'll join you in not drinking today, all best wishes to you!

Woody :>)>

29/F/Upstate NY - will be 2 years sober on 2/20/11. Have you all found this reddit helpful in your pursuit and/or maintenance of sobriety? I'm excited at the prospect of finding a sober-support in reddit.

With this method, binging and blackouts are the first things to go. Check out the reviews of this book also, The Cure for Alcoholism: The Medically Proven Way to Eliminate Alcohol Addiction https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07GQ5LN23/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_6NZFGAYQZ6XSZEB97FFE

I used to think exactly like you do, still do from time to time. In the very early stages of recovery myself. It wasn’t until I came across “This naked mind” that really got me thinking outside the box, that there was a way of enjoying life without adding the lie of alcohol. I highly recommend checking it out!

This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life & The Alcohol Experiment 2 Books Collection Set by Annie Grace https://www.amazon.com/dp/9123925892/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_4ZJ4QXNNB9V5733K0T3T

Well, that's good!

It's wise to be careful, all the same...

As well as being an addictive psychoactive drug, Ethanol is a toxic carcinogenic solvent and is full of empty calories, so from a health perspective, it's sensible to stick to light drinking and have a reasonable number of alcohol-free days per week, if at all possible...

My drinking wasn't a 'problem' until it was, and I'd hate for anyone else to end up in the same state I did!

I never imagined it would happen to me, either...

I'd still suggest reading something like This Naked Mind either way, it's a good read! :>)>

I too have struggled with the god concept but have finally through reading a lot of literature have found something that works for me. Read Staying Sober Without God by Jefferey Munn it gave me a new perspective https://www.amazon.com/Staying-Sober-Without-God-Alcoholism-ebook/dp/B07MBVCS29

Hi there ahem17, well what about your social life? family, friends? do you have some close people that you can confide about your feelings atm? do you have any coping mechanisms when feeling the blues? for anxiety there is a very good book and I highly recommend it. Meditation helps a lot, remember that is getting colder and less natural light is available ( unless you live in the southern hemisphere) that might affect you as well, journaling and sketching helped me a lot when I was going thru hard times, after I am finished with my sketch book I like to give them as a present to my friends. If you feeling down, talk to a friend or feel free to contact me if you need. Be safe and wishing you the best,

I got this one on Amazon last night simply to get the 4am delivery. It was referred to me yesterday.

The Big Book

Audio, PDF, and Print at aa.org site

Here's an article that relates directly with your feelings

http://www.substance.com/most-people-with-addiction-simply-grow-out-of-it-why-is-this-widely-denied/13017/

There's also an interesting discussion about it here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8396375

A) One month is an excellent start. You can't get to 50 years of sobriety without a single hour, then a single day, then a single month, then a single decade.

B) May I ask?: Have you been suicidal at all ever since your attempt of several years ago?

The one that suddenly became popular around March was https://zoom.us/ - fairly easy to use after downloading/installing the app:

click/tap "Join"
Put in a meeting name and your name or "handle"
sometimes put in a password

AA meetings are typically more structured than what one might think of with the words "group chat" - see the sidebar items under "What are AA meetings like?"

A lot of the regional AA offices/websites list online meetings - find your regional AA via https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

Yeah man, I dont know what to tell you. I would drink 64 oz of water (way more than when drinking, and I was straight liquor no chaser.) And my skin still had that papery looking, dry feeling, veins barely visible, like I had a bender the night before, headaches, high blood pressure. When I pushed closer to a gallon, my skin was normal, headaches were gone.

It doesn't make sense to me either, but it was my experience.

Apparently not alone either. Just Google more dehydrated sober.

https://amp.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/47yujg/7_days_sober_feeling_great_constantly_dehydrated/

Ugh, this was the worst. Hangover symptoms at 3-4 weeks sober.

https://www.coach.me/questions/71060-hangover-like-symptoms-starting-at-3-weeks-sober.

Hope some of that info is helpful

Yes, and if you are considering approaching this seriously, you are welcome to set an appointment, the first is free and may be the only one you need. I am available tonight.

https://about.me/jeffrounds

Self-medicating the symptoms of Autism with alcohol is sufficiently common that it's been referred to as 'Alco-tism' (been there, done that!), and it can be a slippery slope...

Drinking on antidepressants also isn't a good idea (did that too!), at best it renders the meds ineffective and at worst, it could have all sorts of strange interactions...

This book co-written by the autism educator Sarah Hendrickx may have some useful insights...

The suggest of r/alanon for yourself is a good one, and if your husband uses Reddit and wants help, we'd be glad to see him here or at r/stopdrinking sometime...

Best of luck to you both!

Woody :>)>

My wife used to gas-light me like this all the time. She'd yell, then claim she never yelled. She'd say one thing, then 10 minutes later, say she "NEVER SAID THAT".

I solved it with a mp3 recorder. I told her that I would be randomly record our conversations if they ever got "heated", and she said that was fine.

So, I'd strap the thing to my leg near my ankle, and if we got into some strange discussion, I'd hit the record button on it.

The funny thing is, while it did catch her in more lies, she actually started behaving herself more and not lieing/yelling as much because she knew I was recording it.

You can get one here: https://smile.amazon.com/Sony-ICDPX370-Digital-Recorder-Built/dp/B06XFTWCBJ/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=mp3+recorder&qid=1631303316&sr=8-3

Good luck.

If you're struggling with sleep without booze, try Glycine, it's an amino acid, so it's effectively "food". It's used to build all kinds of neurotransmitters in your brain, and if you aren't eating collagen or gelatin, then you likely aren't getting enough.

For many it treats their OCD, Anxiety and Insomnia. Read the reviews. Some people have an opposite reaction where it stimulates them but that's rare. It's only $9.00 and super-safe to try as again, this is literally "food", not some strange chemical. You already get it in your meat, unless your a vegan, then you'll have even less.

read the reviews, read about it online... Good luck: https://smile.amazon.com/Life-Extension-Glycine-Vegetarian-Capsules/dp/B00B35A394/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=glycine&qid=1630722804&sr=8-5&th=1

I can't live without Glycine, changes everything for me in a most positive way.

Right now, you're still having fun, even at the worst where you regret what you sent via text, and you hate that you blacked out, etc...

Keep all of this up, and you'll see that these were the "fun" years, when you used to get into fights with your friends, and do stupid shit, because at some point, you'll literally have liver failure, or Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome, be alone in a house, dying, having seizures and missing those good ole years when you were 21.

It's all a bad road to go down, and always filled with regret. You won't be romanticizing anything when your begging for a liver transplant and suffering out of your mind.

You may want to consider quitting alcohol, not for a month, or a year, but forever.

I highly recommend this book to get a new perspective on it: https://smile.amazon.com/Alcohol-Lied-Me-Stop-Drinking-ebook/dp/B009JY59LI

Changes fundamentally how you see what alcohol really is, toxic waste.

Everyone can obviously do what they want and assume any sort of risk they think is acceptable.

For me, my drinking life is over. That's no longer part of who I am in any respect. Beer and all the things I associate with drinking no longer define me and I don't want them in my life. I've severed ties with all that shit, so why would I want a non-alcoholic beer?

All that being said, that transition didn't happen overnight for me. I spent a good few years feeling like I'm missing out, and not drinking seemed like more of a sacrifice than it did some opportunity to reinvent myself. It wasn't until I started discovering myself outside of drinking that that shift occurred.

The one book that really helped me change my perspective on my relationship with alcohol was a book called The Naked Mind. That book really helped me to stop glamorizing drinking and made me realize that I'm better off without it. After reading it I realized I'm not the problem. Sure, I had a problem drinking, but society's relationship with drinking sucks, and I don't want or need to participate in any way. I highly recommend it. https://www.amazon.com/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness/dp/0525537236/

i have been taking three pills of this per day https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B078DZC7X7/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

it is japanese brand and it has all the all the vitamins and amino acids you named. My blood and lab is always perfect, so they are probably helping

Helping someone who doesn't want to help themselves requires you to rethink your approach. You've tried reminding him of the consequences of his behavior, which is fair and would work on someone making rational decisions. With the case of an addiction, that tact will likely have the opposite of the intended effect and reinforce his position. I can recommend this book below and seeking out a support group for family members of alcoholics for continued support.

https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Loved-One-Sober/dp/1592850812

Gamification to help you give up bad habits. Something I’ve started to use to keep track of stuff is the app Habit Hunter (link IOS or link android); not only keeps track of habits you’re trying to break but also keeps track of daily stuff and upcoming events you have to work towards. It makes it a game as well which is fun, so if you do your dailies you get exp and you get coins and stuff. it might not be for everyone but I personally like stuff I can chip away at.

Hope this helps!

B complex and magnesium are the most important now. And fish oil if you don't eat fatty fish often. Also, extra thiamine won't hurt...

For a total recovery based on diet and supplements, I would recommend this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Weeks-Sobriety-Alcoholism-Nutrition/dp/0449002594

Ha I hear you! Yep same fears, what I really want is to change my mind set so drinking is not something that I am always thing of/looking forward to. I have started reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0008293430/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_XK8Z6HN0AEFMA17GWNGX

So far I'm liking what she says, I hope you get something out of it. Good luck!

I would recommend you read the book “Quit Like a Woman” - was so helpful and insightful for me!

Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol https://www.amazon.com/dp/1984825070/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_Q8A9PXJ0F326SMAD787E

Check out the book and podcast of Anne Grace she wrote a very helpful book called "This Naked Mind"
https://www.amazon.com/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness-ebook/dp/B077VTJC8P#:\~:text=This%20Naked%20Mind%20offers%20a,dependence%20in%20all%20of%20us.

Funny you said that, if I ever had to follow a religion it would def be Buddhism. If you like to read and you like Buddhist style, you should def read
"The Tibetan book of living and dying".
You gotta read it slow, sometimes even let some days/weeks between chapters for all the info to sink in.

You can always message me if you wanna talk about the subject.

I think anything that helps you to a better place is a win.

I read this one which was very helpful for me:

https://www.amazon.com/Alcoholism-Revelaed-Jon-Auburn-ebook/dp/B004GB0J0U

I have exactly the same problem.

I bought a small kitchen timed lock box.

When I know I'm going to have heavy temptations I'll put my cards and cash in it and set the lock timer for 12 hours, 24 hours, heck, I've locked them for 3 days knowing I won't really need them.
Also removed my card info from my phone so no ordering that way.

I know this isn't for everyone but it's helped me get through some tough humps. I've easily saved what it cost me in a couple of weeks.

This book has been immensely helpful for me.

https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, absolutely brilliant man and excellent writer. Helped a lot of things click for me. He also has talks on youtube if you would like to check him out there.

I became an alcoholic at 19 by self medicating with whiskey to get over a girl I loved who dumped me. I'm now 22 and hard in the fight of getting sober after learning a lot of lessons. Let me be straight with you, you've heard it a million times but your late teens are a huge growth period and alcoholism is going to way you down hard. Its not easy but this is a fight you should fully commit yourself to, and the fact that youre reaching out means you are smart, self aware, and capable. You should track down the source that leads you to the drink, if you are drinking just for the sake of drinking AA is the best bet, I avoided it for years but the people there are really cool and very supportive. For many young people though drinking is a result of fear or a feeling of incapacity. Is there a goal you have that seems to big? Or perhaps you feel like you dont have direction yet and fear not finding it? These may be the root of your problem and solving those are a part of growing up. I would HIGHLY reccomend this book if thats the case ---> ( https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Through-Creative-Battles/dp/1936891026/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1936891026&pd_rd_r=9508WFF35S71Y5H4VVC2&pd_rd_w=RJCG0&pd_rd_wg=u1a81&psc=1&refRID=9508WFF35S71Y5H4VVC2 ) It's easy to read and explains so much of the confusing unknowns about why it can be so hard to do what we know we need to do, and why we choose to drink instead. Let me know what's up I would love to offer more help.

"They" say a lot of things, don't "they".

If you are interested in a great book about habit, I highly recommend "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhig. A very interesting and helpful read indeed.

My own experience is that yes drinking can become a habit, but the addiction runs a lot deeper than don't drink a few weeks and the habit is broken. For years I would quit for a while, then think I had things under control and soon be drinking more than ever.

Where habits began to help me with this was to begin substituting good habits for bad ones. I would exercise after work instead of drink, go for walks instead of hanging in bars, read recovery books instead of watch shit on TV and drink. Eventually I began to crave the positive sober activities and the bad habits began to fade and the obsession stopped.

I love your list. I think you made some awesome choices. That Stephen King is on your list is great. His book "On Writing" was fantastic, I've read it a few times (along with many of his other books; he is one of my favorite writer's and I love that he is sober, and that he wrote about his drinking in that book.)

"The idea that the creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time," -Stephen King, in On Writing.

I have to say, though, I love Tim Mcgraw's hat. Nothing to forgive there.

My mother is still abusing alcohol. My loved one is trying to control her drinking. One thing is for certain: Until your mother decides she needs to stop, she is going to keep drinking. If you are attempting to see her change, then you must be willing to change aspects of yourself to allow change to occur around you. This includes how you respond, how you react, and how you manage your time and priorities.

Get Your Loved One Sober has plenty of suggestions for how to interact with a person abusing alcohol and to take care of yourself. It is so important to keep taking care of you because it is so easy to get sucked into their world and let it slowly destroy your world. This book goes through aspects of the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) program. A place that you could share what is happening is through the SMART Family and Friends meetings.

The pain is temporary. You are strong and you will get through this. I believe in you! ❤️

I have a book suggestion for you called "I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help" It's written for families of loved ones suffering from mental health issues and it's about how to convince them to eventually seek help. Good luck!

You nailed it! It's how you answer the urge. One book I read put it best with explaining it's like battling a clone of yourself because your brain knows how to talk you into taking a drink - especially when things are good. That's where I have to really resist the hardest these days.

One book I found helpful that wasn't a long or tough read is Rewired: A Bold New Approach To Addiction and Recovery ($6.85). It helped give me some new insights and a lot of things to think about.

One thing that I really took away from the meetings is that each time you mess up and relapse, it gets harder and harder to earn back the trust of friends and loved ones. I've seen parents whose kids won't talk to them because they can't deal with it anymore and vice versa. I've also seen people tear up in meetings because people have let them back into their lives because of sobriety. We sometimes forget that we are hurting those closest to us more than ourselves.

As long as you focus one day at a time on setting a good example for yourself, you'll build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make going forward to continue down the path of sobriety.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's really heartbreaking even to read about it.

I do have a few thoughts of things you might look into, or consider.

AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction. www.alanon.org /r/AlAnon
The book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely. (So many of us, including me, watching a parent struggle with alcoholism only to follow in their footsteps later.)
This last one is definitely easier said than done. This thought: the only person you can control is yourself. You can't control his actions, but you can control your reactions.

Best wishes.

I'm sorry to hear this. You've been though hell. He sounds like a real jerk.

I think you are better off without him. I can tell this nasty breakup hurt you, and it would be surprising if it didn't hurt you. But it sounds like you have dodged a bullet. You're not married to this abuser, you don't have children or share a home. You can make a relatively clean break of it.

It is a fairly common cycle for the children of alcoholics to end up dating alcoholics as adults. It's sad how often we fall into that same trap. I have a few suggestions of things you might look into.

The book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Al-Anon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction. www.alanon.org, /r/AlAnon (While you are technically no longer dealing with this guy, you are dealing with his dickish breakup. Plus it sounds like you've been dealing with alcoholism your entire life.)
A talk therapist or counselor. A professional listener who understands human psychology can help you deal with these things in a healthy way and avoid repeating the same patterns in the future.

I'm wishing you all the best.

You may be interested in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds like his alcoholism is killing him. Depending on the laws where you live, you may be able to have him put in a rehab for his own safety. You may be able to call an ambulance to get him medical attention.

You may find some help through AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction. www.alanon.org, /r/AlAnon

You may also be interested in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Please also be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

I'm wishing you and him all the best.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

When my father died, I was in shock for a while. The reality of it didn't sink in for a few weeks. Honestly, the time most people gave me to grieve was mostly spent numb. It takes time to deal with.

You may be interested in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Look at /r/stopdrinking. You could also post there.

Alcoholism is in large part genetic. So, it seems likely that you have the genes too.

"that feeling of wanting to drink more is always there. " That sounds a lot like what alcoholics experience... The solution is usually to stop drinking, even though I know that's not what you want to hear.

There are some recommended books, etc. on the /r/stopdrinking sidebar.

If you want a recommendation, Wasted is a new book that I'm considering buying for myself. I also read the Allen Carr book, but it has many flaws and some misinformation, so I'm not sure about that one.

Alcoholism does run in families, and it is progressive. What you've written here makes me believe that total sobriety would be best for you. I honestly wish I'd had to courage to stop drinking a decade before I did, my life could have been so much better in so many ways if I wasn't getting intoxicated all the time.

Sobriety can be incredibly liberating. When managing and controlling alcohol is an ongoing struggle, choosing complete sobriety removes all of that stress from your life. I think of it like finally splitting from an abusive spouse. It was a big change, but it was absolutely a change for the better.

You may find AA meetings helpful. You may find the book Under the Influence helpful. Drinking: A Love Story is one of my favorite books about recovery. It's a memoir, a personal story, and is very powerful.

Some states allow involuntary commitment to rehab if someone is a danger to themselves or others. This may be an option for you. You may also try an intervention, taking her to a rehab immediately afterwards. I understand it is a good idea to use a counselor with some experience in an intervention, to keep it in control.

AlAnon is a good suggestion.

You may also appreciate the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Please also be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You and your siblings have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

I'm very sorry you are going through this.

You might ask her not to call you when she's been drinking. "I'd rather talk to you when you're sober, Mom." This doesn't mean she can't ever drink, just call you before she starts drinking.

You might be interested in AlAnon. www.alanon.org, /r/AlAnon

You might also appreciate the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

<strong>Drinking: A Love Story</strong> by Caroline Knapp.

<strong>The Book of Drugs</strong> by Mike Doughty.

EDIT: these are both personal recovery stories/memoirs.

I'm sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to make an alcoholic want to stop drinking. (This doesn't mean she won't ever want to stop, it just means she'll probably have to get there on her own.)

You can try to protect yourself, though.

I recommend that you look into AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction

www.alanon.org

/r/AlAnon

The book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz also applies to you. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Lastly, Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

First off, you are not responsible for her actions. She's an adult who chooses to continue drinking despite her alcoholism. Some suggestions:

If you mom is open to it, you might have her do the self-screening tests for alcoholism in our sidebar. They can be eye-opening, if someone is ready to change.
I recommend that you look into AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction. www.alanon.org /r/AlAnon
You might appreciate the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You and your sister have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic too. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

Good luck and be well.

Wow, I'm sorry to read this. I feel sorry for your boyfriend.

In my opinion, both of his parents are alcoholics, that is very clear to me. It also sounds like his mother may have narcissistic personality disorder. At the very least, they are toxic parents. He is at an age when they should be encouraging his independence and self-reliance, but staying well away from alcohol and other drugs. Instead, they are controlling him getting him drunk.

You and he may be interested in these two books:

Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Toxic Parents by Susan Forward.

He may also be interested in the /r/raisedbynarcissists subreddit.

He has a hard road ahead of him. One of the worst things about having parents like this is coming to grips with their poor behavior. Unfortunately, for now he probably just needs to hunker down and wait to finish highschool. He should be aware that often parents like this try to control their childrens' secondary education as a way to keep them dependent. I don't know if he plans on college or something else, but it may be a good idea for him to work with a school counselor on a plan for his future.

I'm wishing him, and you, good luck.

I'm sorry to hear this. I have a few suggestions for you:

I recommend that you look into AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction. www.alanon.org /r/AlAnon
You might appreciate the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

Only you can decide if you an alcoholic. There are two screening tests in the sidebar that are fairly good if answered honestly. Either or both of them can help you clarify this.

I do think you are wise to stay clear of alcohol, however. Alcoholism does tend to run in families. It also tends to be progressive: slowly but surely getting worse. So we can drink "just like everyone else" at 22, by 27 when most people are slowing down we are ramping up, and by 32 we have a big problem. (That's how it worked for me, and for many other alcoholics I've met.)

Think of it this way: if you quit drinking, or cut back the amount drastically, it is a healthy decision. No matter what, it is good for you to drink less or not at all.

Growing up with alcoholic parents is hard, and has long-term negative effects. You might be interested in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me. You may also be interested in AlAnon meetings, to help you deal with the chaos of your parents' addictions. I've also found individual talk therapy can be very helpful in dealing with some of this crap.

Good luck and be well.

I'm sorry for your loss.

You might appreciate the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

I'm sorry alcoholism and addiction are hurting your family. Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

www.alanon.org

/r/AlAnon

You might also be interested in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Good luck and be well.

You have already read the recommendation to look into AlAnon. They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction.

www.alanon.org

/r/AlAnon

I'd like to add a recommendation for the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Please be aware that alcoholism tends to run in families. You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic yourself. Please be very careful with alcohol and other drugs. If you feel even the least bit compulsive about them, better to leave them alone entirely.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck and be well.

Hi,

You have a higher than average chance of being alcoholic. It isn't certain, it isn't definite. The problem is, the way to find out you are alcoholic is to see what happens when you drink. And if you are alcoholic, you shouldn't drink. What I usually say is that if you feel at all compulsive about drink or other drugs, it's best to leave them alone entirely.

The good thing about being sober is that it is a healthy, positive choice for anyone, even if you don't have to do it.

Growing up around alcoholism can have other consequences in your life. I highly recommend the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

You might also look into AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction.

www.alanon.org

/r/AlAnon

Good luck and be well.

Hey please be very careful around alcohol and other drugs. Alcoholism and addiction run in families. If you feel even slightly compulsive about it, best to leave it alone entirely.

I'm sorry his alcoholism is hurting you. I recommend that you look into AlAnon. It is a support group for family and loved ones of alcoholics. (Not to be confused with AA, which is for alcoholics themselves.) They can help you protect your sanity while you deal with the chaos of someone else's addiction.

www.alanon.org

/r/AlAnon

You may also enjoy the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. It was a real eye-opener for me.

>I remember my dad od'ing in a jewel from the antidepressants.

What? In a jewel?

Ask him, point blank. And compare stories with your Mom, and anyone else around. Don't let him get away with blaming others. It sounds like he is drinking again. IMHO, the best thing you can do is be out in the open about it. Alcoholics love the ability to sneak around and hide our drinking, bringing it out in the open takes the wind out of our sails.

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