(1) Do not touch any electronics for at least 1 hour after you wake up.
(2) Fast. Don't eat until dinner some days, other days, eat all your meals but make sure 90% of your carbs are vegetables and fruits. Read the book, "The Obesity Code." Dr. Fung talks in detail about fasting, it's everything you'd want to know including frequency of meals and how to do it correctly.
(3) Hydrate. Drink around 1 gallon of water a day.
(4) Exercise. Lift 5 days a week, and do cardio one day a week... rest the remaining day.
(5) Sleep on a schedule (get up and go to bed at the same time everyday).
(6) Meditate. Start off by reading, "The Miracle of Mindfulness," by Thich Nhat Hanh. Then, go crazy and research mindfulness meditation.
First off the friend zone doesn't exist. It's this made up metaphor that guys who hide their true feelings for a woman put themselves in because they don't like them back after 6 months of hanging out and never making a move. So you put yourself in the friend zone.
Read Models by Mark Manson. But the only true way to get over it is trial and error. See what works and what doesn't. Yes you're going to get rejected. We all do. It builds thick skin so to speak. Put yourself out there. Only takes 1. And you can be 1-10 on the night but those other 9 don't matter bc you still got laid.
Your story hurts man. Really hurts.
Your all banged up and you definitely need to take a full month or 2 to recover to the best of your ability. Since your not moving around very much, head over to Amazon and grab this book:
The gift if injury your gonna love it.
I have stopped doing the big 3, I'm 42. They are not worth the risk unless you are training for powerlifting.
I fucked up my ankle at the end of last summer. It was swollen for months, took a full 6 to recover. I had to completely change my leg training and the leg development I got this year from it was amazing.
This could be a gift and you just can't see it yet. It's the experience you needed to wake the fuck up and be more mindful of your training.
I want you to recover and lift again so bad my dick gets hard typing this sentence. Dont give up, and stay optimistic, and tell your doctor to eat a bag of dicks. Find another doctor.
This is an app of quotes somebody here has made. Very simple - just tap the screen and it randomly scrolls through quotes/advice that had been collected at some point. It's entertaining to browse while you're waiting in line, or something.
Search the main sub for "Red Pill Books Compilation V3"
>Millionaire Fastlane by MJ Demarco: (Mindset - P2) No this isn't some get rich quick scheme or ideas on how to make quick money. Demarco presents the idea in his book that there are different ways of thinking about money amongst people. The "Slowlane" way of thinking which is plagued by the ones who work paycheck to paycheck to survive, and the "Fastlane" way of thinking that breaks away from the norm of the typical "Go to school, get a job, save your money, retire at 65." mindset. Very interesting read on how to achieve wealth through changing your way of thinking.
I also like Ramit Sethi and his book "I Will Teach You to Be Rich". He also has a youtube channel.
> Not sure how you can be so certain.
This is trickle truth, nigga. This is a little bit of dampness around the faucet level trickle truth. You want to find out for sure? Lay some groundwork by talking about forgiveness and shit, then get her a little drunk and get her to show you the Ho Facts.
Honesty is the most important thing. Blah blah lies lies lies forgiveness blah blah we have a special connection blah blah
Once that trickle truth starts flowing keep it going and see where it leads you. My bet: nowhere fun. Her and dude "just kissed" then they "just fooled around a little" then his dick "just went down her throat somehow".
MDMA is a very powerful serotonin reuptake inhibitor.
When taken, it changes the pathways your brain usually take for what you hear and how you react.
Micro dosing LSD, Psilocybin Mushrooms, DMT or Ketamine can also help to break old bad behaviors and rebuild new good ones
I personally micro dose mushrooms twice a week, helps me build and maintain a RP mentality
I recommend you read this book if you’re interested in this topic: https://www.amazon.com/Psychedelic-Medicine-Healing-Psilocybin-Ayahuasca/dp/1620556979
There's a reason why Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is one of the most recommended books in this sub. Right now your philosophy of life and the philosophy of life for most people on Earth can be described as an enlightened form of hedonism. There's nothing wrong with spending your life seeking social status and pleasure, that's what most of us are doing. However, it sounds like you've gotten tired of hedonism and are looking for a new philosophy of life so I would recommend you look into Stoicism. Reading The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy is a great primer to learn what Stoicism is, then Meditations for a practical example of how a stoic lives day to day.
This is the best thing that could have ever happened to you in a way.
Sure, it stings like a bitch, but you have been broken down and it's time to build yourself back up stronger. destruction makes way for new creation,
Times to take back your power.
It should be obvious, but no contact whatsoever with your ex. I don't care what she tells you. She could have been in a car crash or calling you from jail to bail her out. I want you to go on your phone and name her contact " Do not reply or contact."
I can tell from reading your nutrition is shit. Depressed people eat like shit and it contributes to their depression more. Make a diet of healthy and muscle gaining foods that give your body the fuel it needs to run optimally. if you're fat, time to lose weight, if you're skinny time to gain some lean muscle.
Speaking of muscle food, it's time to hit the gym hard. Find a workout on Bodyspace like Arnold's workout or any-other related to building lean muscle or cuting fat. Depending on your body type.
Go buy or torrent every single book that's recommended by TRP. These are just off the top of my head.
No more Mr. Nice Guy Models by Mark Manson Mastery by Robert Green 48 laws of power by Robert Green How to win and influence people by Dale Carnegie 6 pillars of self-esteem
Get your look in order. Hair cut fashionably, nice/fitted clothes, clean skin, white teeth, etc.
Focus on getting your mind and body healthy again and the social aspect will come naturally.
Final note: Never give your power away like again. One burn should last you a lifetime.
You sound a lot like me a couple years ago
Okay, let's get your mental health in order
What is your money situation? Got health insurance?
Sleep. You gotta get your 8-10 hours. Every night. Quality sleep too. Get a fitbit if you can afford it, the one that tracks sleep quality. Otherwise there are free/cheap apps. Watch you caffeine intake. Eat dinner as early as you can. Take melatonin. Optimize your bedroom for sleep quality if you can (40% humidity, 60-67 F temp, air purifier, blackout curtain). Easy on the booze
Go to the doctor and get blood work: vitamins, minerals, hormones (estradiol too, sounds like your T is fine), inflammatory markers, intestinal parasites. Depression and inflammation are correlated. Depression and testosterone / Vitamin D deficiencies are correlated. FIx deficiencies with food / sunshine if you can, otherwise supplements. Eat real food, the kind that goes bad. Mostly fish/seafood/shellfish and vegetables. Fish has Omega 3, Iodine, and Lithium, all of which are good for your mood
Attitude change. Go get the audio book of Feeling Good by David Burns. it's the intro to Cognitive Behavioual Therapy. Works better than drugs for most people. You can get it free on kobo.com if you sign up (credit card required but not charge until a month). Then get https://www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614 . Can find audio book on piratebay. It's an intro to Stoicism, a masculine philosophy of life which helps you think through negative emotions
Walk in the daylight / sunshine after lunch every day. It's good for your mood
After all that, after you're feeling better, and want some inspiration for school / exercise, read The War of Art (Pressfield), and Can't Hurt Me (Goggins)
You can PM me if you need help
Also, avoid female counselors, they are useless. Find a male CBT therapist if you need one
I feel you-some days, it's not even fun. But true happiness doesn't come from external sources. I found real contentment and purpose with my life when I began putting all of my effort into a project that is bigger than myself---I truly believe that I am doing something extremely important for future generations, and it is something that very few people are capable of. That's what gets me out of bed in the morning. You gotta find that thing for you. (re)Read Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl, Letters from a Stoic, and really get into meditation. That's what helped me find my way
> Extreme Ownership.
Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal - aka How to get things done
Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman - aka How things work
Way of The Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman - aka Why do things
How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie - aka How to be good
Overcoming depression, step by step.
Make a commitment to yourself to cut 200 junk calories from your diet by the end of the weekend.
It's Friday. By Monday have a plan to work out at least three days next week. Lift two days and do light cardio (walking or elliptical) on the other.
It's Friday. By Monday have a plan for one hobby you're interested in. Buy a model (There are some cool metal models on Amazon. ). Find an instrument you might like to play. There is free shit on YouTube and elsewhere to teach you to play any instrument from the alpenhorn to the piccolo trombone. Want to write a novel? National Novel Writing Month started two days ago. You're not too far behind to catch up.
It's Friday. By Monday, I want you to have read No More Mister Nice Guy by Robert Glover. If you don't have it, PM me and I'll help you get it.
Don't worry about anything except for these four steps right now. We are your brothers and we will hold you accountable. Do this, and we'll worry about style, approach, and social life later. The first step is to find a direction for you that doesn't spiral downward.
I'll follow up with you on Monday.
RemindMe! 6am November 6
Download the Strong Lifts 5x5 app for your phone and since your single, read Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi first. Join closest and cheapest gym to you. Upgrade later if necessary.
You're going to have to reinvent yourself. Set a new purpose in life, get over the bad shit. As far as what you're supposed to do; only you know that. For now, here is my advice:
> I'm 30, 31 soon. > Good shape, great hygiene, yes I lift.
Good, you're in your SMV prime. Monk Mode and create a new you. Make sure to read the /r/theredpill sidebar. Digest all that shit; then, move to books. Start with Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and move to recommended books by TRP.
> Business failed, income is low. I guess I can survive alone at poverty levels living in the middle of no where keeping my expenses really low. > Worked for myself for past 10 years. Now don't know what to do (had an internet freelance business, had a few web devs working under me).
You're going to have to get a job, unless you could consult for previous clients. I ran my consulting business part-time alongside with my full time job. It seems like you've got some skill, put that to good use for someone else, for now. Get that income back up and try going back on your own.
In short; you're going to have to Man up. Shit happens that is out of your control, the only way to improve the current situation is how you bounce back.
Good luck.
I don't share the love TRP has for 48 laws. It's written by a guy who's never had any power in life, never been in any proximity to power but for some reason feels qualified to declare laws of power. The only substance in the book is taken from Machiavelli's The Prince and Sun Tzu's The Art of War, but without context. Read both of those books.
I'll tell you something I've learned out of the book Models by Mark Manson, you should definitely check that book out.
Watch more movies. Watch the top 20 IMDB movies, listen to music far outside of your comfort zone. Check out Kendrick Lamar if you haven't already, especially if you never listen to rap. Read classic books. The point to all of this is broadening your horizons. Expose yourself to more culture. I don't know you, but it sounds like all you know are videogames and the music you perform. Find the value in every type of art you absorb, even if it's not your type of art.
This allows you to talk to many, many more types of people, and hold many different types of conversations with men and women. The movies will most likely give the biggest help to stop giving off the "weird" vibe, but in general all of this will increase your confidence because you'll actually know what you're talking about.
Also, talk slower. You might be talking too fast. The fix could be as simple as that.
>If you are concerned they are trying to bait you into doing something stupid, record some audio when you are talking to them
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appstar.callrecorder along with Google Drive
> For the sake of your child, do not sink to their level.
Not only that, but remove any thoughts of harm. I am not even in this situation and feel like causing them both serious pain. In fact, this is so fucked up am about 60% sure you are trolling this sub
Android
"Menstrual Cycle - Woman Log" by XCODELAB has multi profile support. It has 100,000 downloads.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.fourricegroup.mc&hl=en
Apple IOS
"Track Her PMS - The Warning" by McDev has multiple profile support. Its Free.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/track-her-pms-the-warning/id1114699343?mt=8
Wear a 7-11 shirt
When things get heated say the following words.
"I am Allah's humble messenger for he speaks through me."
"The Djin have gotten your tong mother, I understand these are not your words"
Nobody wants to argue with a religious person.
Optimism, always. So called "realism" can kill you, seriously. You become depressed, and being depressed sucks.
So called "realists" are just a bunch of pessimists unable to do something about their lives. They are "realist" about their weight, so they never lose it. They are "realist" about their looks, so they never improve. They are "realist" about their finances, so they never make more money. They are "realist" about the world, so they never try to make an impact. They are "realist" about their relationships, so they settle for the first pussy they get.
If you want to be realist about something, get facts about it. For example, TRP. You have facts, so you are realist that you are never gonna find a unicorn, so you go and spin plates.
Read the book Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.
Trying to find a passion is just plain stupid, because you need to build it. Nobody gets born with a passion for programming, you build it as you become better and better on the field, or when you find that you are really good at it. And even passionate programmers get tired from time to time. Read the book So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport.
Like run away from your problems?
I'm MRP, awoken after being married for 7 years. I got no where to run. I gotta face this shit day in and day out. You learn fairly quickly, you want someone to love you because you got a problem loving yourself.
Now you can most certainly throw away the plate for being so reflective as to remind you of your weaknesses...or work on your weaknesses.
And if you do that, you'll have true abundance mentality. Models by Mark Manson is really helpful at explaining this. Really, I can't recommend it enough.
Being a sociopath is NOT what you are looking for. Sociopathy is a disease, an inability to feel emotion. An inability to truly experience what being a human feels like. This is like saying you want to become an alcoholic so you don't remember your problems instead of dealing with them up front.
What you are looking to do is CONTROL your emotions, UNDERSTAND what you are feeling. You must learn to recognize these emotions within yourself first and foremost in order to master them.
A book I recommend is Mindfulness in Plain English which teaches you about using meditation to become more AWARE of your own emotions and desires in order to achieve mastery over them.
I would strongly suggests bluepillprofessors 12 levels of dread, on amazon. He's also a mod on MRP. IT's pretty much a roadmap for guys just like you.
It essentially is a branch swing, deliberate and slow enough to ensure you leave with your best foot forward, while still leaving out an olive branch for her to start acting right and get on board.
Chances are though, by the time you get there, you probably won't want her. But here's the problem. ditching her is a good plan, but you're nowhere near ready, and will just fuck it up with the next girl. May as well use her as a sparring partner and get your shit in order. you'll have to stare at the face that took other dicks for fun, but no one said manning up after 20 years would be easy
https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK
Dude just read the fucking book and stop obsessing over redpill.
Also read:
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
Influence by Robert Cialdini
As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Bang and also Day Bang by Roosh V
The Game by Neil Strauss
Mastery by Robert Greene
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny
Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
No Excuses by Brian Tracy
See You at the Top by Zig Ziglar
Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
The 50th Law by Robert Greene & 50 Cent
Read whatever you like. Do not focus on self help and self improvement books.
Go read a book on "How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading" by Mortimer J. Adler
Read some biographies. "Total Recall" by Arnold Schwarzenegger is a great read.
"The Design of Everyday Things" by Don Norman is interesting.
"Sailing Alone Around the World" by Joshua Slocum
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
"Confessions of a Yakuza" by Jun'ichi Saga
"Beyond Band of Brothers" by Dick Winters
>If you're a virgin with minimal female contact who wastes his life moping around on incel subs and has mental illness, how is this girl lower value than you?
Enjoy Responsibly. Process Slowly. Talk to Others about your reading.
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls.
Top Performance by Zig Zigler.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (2-3 times).
Rich Dad Poor Dad By Robert Kiyosaki in combination with cliff notes from his other books because his writing is terrible and reading all his books will make you go insane but the core knowledge is good.
Total Money Make Over by Dave Ramsey (avoid Suze Orman like the Plague).
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover.
3% Man by Corey Wayne. (2-3 times)
The Way of Men by Jack Donovan.
Getting Things Done by David Allen.
The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner (3 plus times)
Book of Pook (and if you get older and can handle the raw logic: Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male)
Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe
After you've digested the above and you feel you are in a healthy mental place you can read:
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
48 laws of Power and Seduction
Henry David Thoreau's Walden
Emerson's: Compensation, American Scholar, Nature, Circles
10% Happier by Dan Harris
Hagakure by Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Edit. When you're done with all this reading find a fun sub-genre like travel or sci-fi for light reading and step away from the serious self help stuff and actually do something with your life. All of this knowledge is useless if you don't build up skills and make yourself valuable to other people through hard work and service.
Let me get this straight: you have a BS in Petroleum Engineering, live in Houston, and can't find work? Something doesn't add up there.
Go out and learn new skills then. Some hobbies you could take up are:
If you're not feeling like you're 'good enough' for people, write down exactly why you feel like that. Then, think what you would say if your best friend said the exact same thing - what would you say to him?
Young man I understand your pain. It really sucks to grow up in your household and remember part of being a man is to take ownership of all your actions and thoughts and not wallow in self pity and victim mentality by wishing someone to die. Real men take responsibility of their actions and thoughts and your are already on that path, I see it and congratulate you for it.
Time for a guy with a bright future and full potential like you to begin preparing to take your prize from this world.
You will need constant learning and training on how to be a better man until you are ready move out. Moving out without a well informed mind and an unhealthy emotional balance will make taking on the world more difficult and dangerous.
My suggestion is to learn these:
EFT
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (audio book is in youtube)
The Venus Project
Listen to examples of masculinity and self responsibility by listening to podcasts by Jocko Willink who is a retired navy seal officer.
So, why don't you want to be happy?
If you fear being hurt, you aren't mentally strong enough for success.
A Guide to the Good Life, the ancient art of stoic joy by William B. Irvine. Instead of reinventing the wheel, consider getting the book.
Models by Mark Manson is a pretty good start into what one needs to game, from outer and inner game to kino and social dynamics.
The side bar at the main sub has A LOT of sources, seriously check it out
You're mission doesn't have to be all enveloping and finding one's purpose is something of a fools errand. Becoming too attached to finding it or having it is like metaphysical oneitis. Rather continue to focus on your goals, career, and self-improvement. Meditate daily. You're mission, purpose, passion, or whatever you want to call it will become clear in time. It might take several years for this to become clear.
Read So Good They Can't Ignore You for more on why the "Passion Hypothesis" is bunk and focusing on finding one's passion and mission too early is putting the cart before the horse.
Discipline and willpower take years to cultivate. You need to see things bigger than yourself and have a vision that is clear. Mostly you're procrastinating out of non- necessity. It's not necessary for you not to.
When something becomes necessary, you act differently. Like if you didn't have any food or shelter, you bet that you wouldn't be watching porn all afternoon- you would be outside chopping wood to keep warm. Because it would be necessary to stay alive. Humans love homeostasis. We're very lazy creatures when we have our needs met.
Read "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself". And Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
Fuck all this noise. You need two skills, and two skills only. First, you need to understand money and how to preserve and grow it. It doesn't matter how much you make if you can't keep it and make it work for you. Secondly, you need to be extremely good with people. They need to like you, and want to work with you. Read, "How To Win Friends and Influence People" as a start.
I've endured a life-long struggle with laziness. Here is my four-point fix. It's not easy, but it works. If you're not willing to do these, you don't want it bad enough yet.
"Eat the frog first." Don't start your day, after toilet and breakfast, without beginning the hardest, most unpleasant task first.
Pomodoro technique. Get a timer. Set it for 25 minutes. Tell yourself "I will only work on this thing for 25 minutes!" Work. Ding! When 25 is up, take a 5-10 minute break. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Read the following three books as soon as you can: "The Flinch," "The War of Art," and "Miracle Morning." These are now your gospel. Do everything they say, to the letter.
Take only cold showers first thing in the morning. Just fucking do it. Every day. Never any exceptions. Only take a hot shower in the afternoon or evening if you're cleaning off excess grime.
Good luck!
Illimitable Man, you could work on some sort of daily affirmation men could take, tell themselves, read in the morning, etc. essentially reminding themselves of "taking the red pill" regularly. If there is anyone to write this, it would be you. What do you think?
Ex. Napoleon Hill's confidence and purpose affirmations in "Think and Grow Rich"
"The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat, but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy. Hence the saying: One may know how to conquer without being able to do it." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
The pickup artists will say you could have done more and succeeded. The mgtows will say you did right enough. The distinction between the two is their willingness to wade through a feminist minefield covered in three feet of not-that-kind-of-girl bullshit.
Be more alpha. Duh
Edit. I will have mercy on you tho.
Listen to this man’s frame
“Get a handle, control your hoes now
If she down, that's some shit you should know
I ain't never had to ask, I ain't never need to know”
Read the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People". You should be letting the other person do 80-90% of the talking. Don't interview them. Listen to what they're saying and find a way to be interested, then go off of that. Read the book tho or torrent the audiobook
Real estate CAN make you a lot of money, but it depends on your aptitude, motivation, vision, whether you actually like it or not, which part of real estate you go into, and a host of other factors. It sort of sounds like you're looking a get-rich-quick path, and generally speaking, there is no such thing. I'm not attempting to dissuade you from going into real estate, but spending three months getting a realtor licence is scarcely scratching the surface of an enormous area known as "real estate."
You young guys contemplating career paths: I strongly recommend the book Think and Grow Rich. Yes, it's dated, but the principles are timeless and human nature never changes. If you read between the lines it drips red pill. Any career or endeavor can be alpha if approached and executed using the principles in the book. Also get a copy of The Slight Edge. It's more of the same, coming from a different viewpoint.
There is an entire book about Seduction through vulnerability, where it helps you redefine what you need to be satisfied, and ultimately helps with urges for validation
Edit: People are suggesting good books. I don't suggest 48 Laws of power, it's a very toxic mindset that you really need a good handle on your psyche to not be influenced wrongly by it.
I've read Models about five times over now because it's so in-depth and well written.
MEGA EDIT: read all of these
^^^[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3at8mt/collection_of_some_trp_audio_books_and_pdfs/]
Bang and Daybang by Roosh, Models by Mark Manson, all good reads that are books. Bang and Daybang are specifically about game. Models talks a lot about altering your mindset first, then later it glazes over actual x's and o's of game.
For an even quicker read, a Collection of blogs from Heartiste.
These should be mandatory next to lifting, eating right and meditating.
For me, peace and happiness comes from the dharma. I've had fleeting glimpses of it, the rest of the time I'm pulled by my desires and frustrations.
I'd say there was a turning point where I just had sex with a hot 20 year old and a came to a clear realization "this is great, but this isn't lasting fulfillment. In a few days, maybe hours, I'll be fighting again for the next hit".
Read the first three pages of Chapter 1 in Mindfulness in Plain English, to see if it jives with you.
And the first page of Chapter 1 in The Noble Eightfold Path. It may be for you, it maybe isn't. Good luck and peace be with you.
You can't think of anything to say because you're attached to the outcome or response to what you want to say.
You want, you need her to react positively. Or else your ego will be hurt, poor you.
The key is, you guessed it, stop being attached to the outcome. Just speak your mind, everything will be just fine.
Read Models by Mark Manson.
>How do I stop giving a shit about things that don't matter?
Personally I'd recommend diving into Buddhist philosophy and meditation. Audiodharma is a good site for stuff like this. Otherwise just time. Think about what you thought was a big deal a long time ago, it isn't important anymore.
>Should I still track my macros in my diet?
If getting a good physique is important to you. It is to me.
>How can I become confident and bold...
You can't. It just happens. There are no magic words you can read it will just come with time as long as you spend that time investing in yourself. The more you invest in yourself, not to get girls but for you, the more confident you will become over time. Read Models by Mark Manson if you haven't already, his ideas about True Confidence are very interesting.
One thing that has helped me over time is repeating myself the fact that "I am not responsible for other people's feelings." A situation is awkward for someone else? I don't give a shit, sucks to be them. Someone's mad at me? Sucks to suck. I'm not going to let someone else's feelings or actions affect mine.
It was about a year after taking steps to improve my confidence before I noticed any change. I still wouldn't consider myself super confident.
To me, reading The Art of War drove home the importance of knowing when not to fight.
It doesn't matter how justified you are, or even if you defeat your opponent. You should only fight when it is beneficial for you to do so.
Machiavelli's The Prince is also a great read and teaches a lot about power dynamics and consolidating your gains.
The best advise I can give you is to stop worrying about it. Seriously. Dwelling on it will only make it worse.
Reading: Sex God Method by Daniel Rose.
Find a girl and start practicing.
There's a difference between doing your own thing, and being a social recluse. If you see a girl, feel free to talk to her. But don't slobber over her bewbs, and don't sulk away going, "Why can't I get laid! Why isn't she interested!" When I say women will come, what I mean is it will naturally get easier. If you truly have your shit together, and are happy with yourself, this will most likely result in real confidence. This is the ultimate aphrodisiac to women. And I don't mean being an arrogant prick, I mean having something to be proud about for real, not some bullshit game.
If you have social anxiety and want to know how to do better, read a book and practice. It's a skill that you can develop, not the innate quality most people think it is. https://www.amazon.com/gp/ays?ie=UTF8&ref_=ya_your_collections&signInRedirect=1&
https://www.amazon.com/Estrogeneration-Estrogenics-Making-Sick-Infertile/dp/1946546011
Estrogeneration: How Estrogenics Are Making You Fat, Sick, and Infertile
If you think Book Of Pook is too high brow, Pat The Bunny 🐰 may be a better choice for your intellectual capabilities
Seriously, get your hands on a copy of What to Say When you Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter as soon as you can. Amazon link here. No need to thank me when it changes your life. All good! :)
It all comes down to nice behaviour because it's a great way of exploiting the social principle of [reciprocity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reciprocity_(social_psychology\)).
If someone's being nice to you, giving you compliments, flirting with you, giving you free stuff, they want something. Maybe not right away, but it creates an expectation that the "niceness" should be returned.
An example of this is people seeking donations. They'll give free gifts to make you feel obligated to give something back.
Check out the book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini. He goes into various ways that our behaviours can be influenced, and talks a bit about how to handle being manipulated.
Part of growing up is realizing this is simply how the world works. Most things are transactional. There's always an exchange, a give and take involved on some level.
Key point to note is that it doesn't work for sex. You can't negotiate attraction. My personal opinion is that this is why people that are successful in business, typically, aren't successful with women, and vice versa, because they require opposing strategies.
Force yourself into discomfort; it is a necessary process for you to claim your masculinity. Overcoming obstacles, maintaining discipline and breaking a sweat turns boys into men. That's why boys enter the army and return home as men.
If you can force yourself to go to the gym three days a week for two months, you can basically do it ad infinitum with little to no resistance. My advice is to read Charles Duhigg's 'The Power of Habit' and take notes. Build positive habits because willpower is limited. As a man, you should be drawn to surpassing limitations and transcending previous personal records.
Okay, you can piece things together, a million pieces, and take three years to do it here. OR...
Buy No More Mr Nice Guy, I Feel Guilty When I Say No, Models by Mark Manson, The Way of Men by Jack Donovan and Married Life Sex Primer by Athol Kay.
By reading those books, you will cut 3 years of fumbling to 6 months and before you know it you're mouth fucking women you want to...AND you will both have a great time. Go figure.
1) Yes, apply immediately. Go today, and search for work right after.
2) As much as we preach lifting, this is NOT the time. Focus entirely on #1.
3) "The Power Of Now" + "Switch: How To Make Change When Change Is Hard"
4) Yes. I'm actually 6'3 too. 230-240Lbs, single digit body fat, no AAS usage.
5) Again, focus on #1. Don't try to borrow money, acquire positive net worth.
My other advice to you, based on this:
> Spend most days gaming, smoking weed and jerking off
Would be to meditate. Start lifting once you get a job and can afford to eat well, it might do more harm than good to both your physical & mental well-being if you try to lift now, at your height you're currently dangerously underweight.
With charming selfishness and lack of reflexive thought, people are observing that you have become too cold. What they really mean, of course, is that you are too cold to them and only warm to yourself. Or in other words, they find it unpleasant how you are all about yourself and not about them at all.
Somebody recommended a book, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind" (by Suzuki), which to my surprise, I actually got and read. A Zen master talks about what, according to him, is really important and what isn't. I am not interested in Zen masters, wooey stuff, or getting in tune with my inner anything. However, that book was remarkable.
For all its faults like having a fucking awkward English title, being tiny, and carrying zero cogent academic content, that little book explains exactly how to "warm everything back up" - how to build a humble unassuming habit of focusing on that part of "yourself" that is OUTSIDE your physical body and mind. You simply do it, without telling anyone about what is going on, and yet they may feel this incredible sense of warmth that they inteprete as your kindness and connectedness. In red pill reality it is simply the ability to focus on that other person as if they were an inalienable part of yourself. See if you like the book and find yourself making Father happy by unexpectedly mellowing right out in his eyes, yet without losing any of that sweet actionable red pill focus.
Glad someone rational answered this first. What works changes from person to person and girl to girl. I've had friends who were massively successful with women taking wildly different approaches. It's the way they did it that mattered.
To this point, read Models by Mark Manson. It illuminates this idea well.
This reminds me of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. I'll just quote from Amazon: "As in Zen, the trick is to become one with the activity, to engage in it fully, to see and appreciate all details--be it hiking in the woods, penning an essay, or tightening the chain on a motorcycle."
Enjoy the search for an actual relationship, enjoy the relationship and stop worrying about things that could possibly go wrong. If she cheats, deal with it. Until then enjoy it.
After you load it, immediately disable notifications for everything but "before period." I tend to prefer 3 days on that. To use it, just hit the circle on the start screen, select the day she starts, click on one of the flows (which sets it as having started) and that's about it. No real need to track the moods/flow or any extra shit. You're just wanting a heads-up on when she is due.
https://www.freecodecamp.org/Went through everything in the first three modules, picked around 5 mini projects for my portfolio, whipped up a portfolio page using some html5up! template and hosted it on github pages, applied every day for a month, first interview I got I got the job. It's tough without the CS degree but not impossible. I did this after work and on weekends. Was straight grindin.
Atmosphere isn't RP in the slightest, though. Here, and basically the entirety of When Life Gives You Lemons... is feminist as fuck.
Try and track down a local men's group.
Meetup.com is a good resource. Get out of the house, do stuff, meet people.
It sucks living at home, I know. But it will not last forever. The more things you try, the greater the possibility that you will find something or someone that does it for you. Be aware, you will stumble and fail along the way. But, the ultimate trajectory is up and out. Just keep pushing.
You do not need a pad and lots of money to get chicks. Start learning some game. Read some books like "Bang" and "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Keep getting educated and trying stuff. Stay away from Tinder and other social platforms. They are toxic and marketed to desperate men and vacuous women looking for validation.
In a capitalist society being an effective Capitalist is a sexual strategy, anyone who doesn't immediately recognize this fact is clinically retarded
If you haven't kissed, you haven't escalated.
And yes, it sounds like you are dodging rejection. If you never make a move, you can't ever be turned down.
https://www.slideshare.net/vhie130501/16768511-vindicarloescalationladder
Buy 2 sets of adjustable dumbbells. Buy a model where you can buy additional weights after you get bigger.
Download HIIT training software in your cell. Like this http://appcrawlr.com/android/7-minute-workout-7
I use a sturdy arm chair as "inclined bench". Works ok and takes no extra space. I also have a spinning bike next to the television with a deal I can watch telly only while biking.
Read How to become a Straight A Student by Cal Newport. I find myself recommending this whenever the topic of college comes up simply because it actually works if you implement the stuff in the book. It will change your fucking life.
If you travel a lot an eBook reader is invaluable. I have over 3,000 books on on old style Kindle. I do not like the Kindle tablet; it is both a terrible tablet and a terrible ebook reader.
I was recently forced to purchase my first iPad for work, and I am coming to terms with it, although I only need to charge my Kindle once every 2 to 3 weeks. The iPad needs to be charged at least every other day.
If you intend to read a lot of nonfiction and you wish to annotate it, I recommend getting something that you can type on easily. When I did my annotation of No More Mister Nice Guy that I posted here a couple of months ago, it was very difficult to do on my Kindle. I have to recompile my copy of The Rational Male to strip out extra line breaks before my next cross-country trip here at the end of January so that I can do the same thing and try it on the iPad. I think it will be an easier experience overall.
There is no reason why you cannot have both an ebook reader and a collection of paper books. I have both. I use them for different applications. I generally find that reading nonfiction is easier on paper if I am going to refer to it again for citations. However, the ability to annotate a book without destroying it or filling it with Post-it notes makes ebook readers and good quality tablets shine.
To manage your electronic books library, may I suggest that you look at Calibre? It is like iTunes for e-books, but it doesn't suck.
Bacopa monnieri makes it a lot easier to sleep and accidentally shit, I shit you not:
I just noticed it on my own(I do not have IBS) and when I read your story I just googled "Bacopa IBS".
Cutting is way more important than bulking if your body fat is over 15-20%.
Have you measured your body fat yet? I'm the same height as you are and am at 12%. I'm guessing you're at about 25% based on your numbers. Measure that right away!
The US Navy bodyfat calculator is a way to get a fairly accurate reading.
If you're above 20% I would suggest cutting for at least 4 months, maybe more. Then maintain your calories and focus on strength. After that you can go for size.
Shit tests are an indicator that there needs to be a change-up in your behavior. If your wife is ramping up the shit tests, it means you're doing something wrong. Are you apologizing excessively? Do you talk down about yourself, including self-deprecating humor? Do you whine or complain to her or get emotional and cry in front of her? Do you ask her what she thinks you should do in certain situations?
Check these resources too:
The way of the superior man (audio book. You can find the text version online for free too): http://youtu.be/VUQukMUJSkw
Pimping for Dummies: http://issuu.com/togazer/docs/pimping_for_dummies
Edit: sources
I have always used harvest for work and I've also found that it's great at tracking personal time too. Harvest to track my time, and google calendar for planning blocks of time. Having a rough plan helps. I review my time very briefly daily and set aside an hour to plan out my week every Sunday.
> so it's not really an option for me to cut and run
You and me and millions and millions of other poor, helpless schmucks. Like a broken record player, as if we all have been wired with the same programming (again, the Matrix analogy), spitting out the same self-DISrespecting shit lines over and over.
I hope you are absorbing all the material in the main sub's (r / theredpill) sidebar material, along with the blogs, like The Rational Male, whose author also has two great books out on Amazon, basically a very well-organized collection of his blog posts.
$1.99 on Kindle. Read this fucker tonight: https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Male-Rollo-Tomassi-ebook/dp/B00FK901R8/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=#nav-subnav
Not to say you should divorce her. That's not the point. However...
I went thru a divorce myself last year and although on paper it isn't nearly as crushing as yours, I never came so close to killing myself. It was tough to say the least, but you best believe I thank God--no, I don't believe in God-- I thank MYSELF every day since I've discovered TRP for going through with the divorce.
If you're ready, willing and able, all this will save your life.
Yes. I started using one since my BP days and have noticed quite a difference. I use an app to track habits , you can find it here https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.isoron.uhabits
>(she did the same thing to her last boyfriend and he was involved in that case as well).
I assume he does but make sure your lawyer knows that
Also back up your texts from now on https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.zegoggles.smssync
Things get better but not in ways you might be imagining right now. You don't arrive somewhere nice and stay there, that never happens. Instead you will experience your mental fog clearing out, things will get clear to you, and often that will be painful. But it's truly great, because the pain is nothing when you see with your own two eyes that what you're doing is truly making a huge difference in what your day-to-day life is like. It's a feel like you've been spinning your wheels all your life helplessly, and now they finally hit the road, you get intoxicating amounts of traction and power over circumstances,feelings, your own self.
If I were you, I would put that free time into reading the classic Great Books For Men. You might begin with Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations" - nothing to do with sitting in yoga poses, this is a contagious diary-like book by a wise Roman emperor who literally had it all, but loved truth and sincerity above everything else. Teaches you how to shoo away the fluff and think from your real heart about things. Read the Illiad. Check out and marvel at Frankl's " Man's Search for Meaning ". Dip a toe into "Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender", by M.D. Hawkins - it's a repetetive book that drills something powerful and very hard to put into words, right into your core. See if you can do your reading in a public place where lots of girls flock, like a cute coffee shop - this just for your ambient enjoyment, don't need to hit on any of them if you don't feel like it.
The bottom line: it doesn't just get better, it qualitatively changes such that "the future you" will be unrecognizable to your present self & people who know you now.
I'm reading Models by Mark Manson because one of the ECs on the sub recommended it to me to balance out the asshole side of my game. I have to say it's screwing with my brain.
Mark genuinely believes that most women are loyal and will only branch swing if they are not happy in the relationship anymore. That's just one of the many points where he doesn't agree with the redpill.
Im having a hard time processing this i have to admit
There are 13-15 bibles over on the Married red pill sidebar that are pretty much required reading for masculine self-improvement.
My top 4...
No more Mr. Nice guy
When I say no, I feel guilty
The Manipulated man.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
Read read read and lift lift lift.
Book of Pook, Models by Mark Manson, The Manipulated Man, The Rational Male, Thick Face Black Heart, No More Mr Nice Guy, Way of Men and The Game.
I started doing what you were doing. I was tired of being a beta loser sitting home playing video games and stroking my skin flute while my friends had girlfriends and went out. So I did what you're doing now...let me just say....this has helped me A LOT. Then throw in the books and lifting and my confidence as risen by a landslide, and I don't have anxiety anymore especially since i'm in college now. Good on you for changing. Hope these help. good luck
Their reading list gives all the books I would recommend and some more...
The The Millionaire Next Door as well as The Richest Man in Babylon are very good starting points relating to the mindset and basic understanding necessary. From there you can go further into the specifics...
... Just two words from experience: If you are young it's most important that you don't go into unnecessary debt and don't lay all your eggs in one basket.
From thereon the TRP philosophy is highly applicable: Hold frame (don't sell everything on a market downturn), be bold (don't invest money you don't need in assets that return less than inflation) and most importantly regardless what you do, know what you are doing (Be aware of risk and any potential or hidden cost)
I'm wondering...are you worried tinder DIDN'T find you more attractive or that a fat girl DID find you attractive.
>i interviewed her
Yeah, this sounds real fun.
>so, anyone have advice
Yeah, learn to have fun. Fat chicks suck your dick too. And isn't bi mean "I'm probably down for MFF kind of shit?" I'd have at least asked that in the interview.
There's a gap you need to overcome. It's between you and fucking 7s. You're the gap. Read Models by Mark Manson.
If the first 40 pages don't blow you away I'll assume you are interviewing the book too.
Just finished a book that really hit home on this subject. It's called "The War of Art". Essentially you're letting resistance overcome you.
You're afraid of succeeding. So you protect yourself by never finishing or sticking to anything. When you never finish you cant fail or succeed. You protect yourself from change (positive or negative) in the process.
It's not a two line solution on TRP. You need to work at this & figure out why you have this barrier.
Read the book.
...I put it there though?
Get a job.
Cut out easy dopamine sources. Video games/Entertainment cuts your productive time. Sugar makes you fat/moody and is bad for your skin.
With your money, spend it on grooming
Advance your career prospects. I cannot give specific advice here without knowing your situation.
Take cold showers. A full 30 seconds and eventually build it up to a minute. An easy way to build discipline and to wake you up for your day. Has a few other health and grooming benefits too.
Get a hobby. Any productive hobby. Hiking is nice. Fishing is calming. Crafts if you are creative. They are nice to show off too.
Read books. The books you see on TRP are great. Audiobooks may work too. Listen to them while doing pushups. Models by Mark Manson, What Every BODY is saying by Joe Navarro, Seduction, Laws of Power and Mastery by Robert Greene are pretty good, The Rationale Male by Rollo Tomassi. I haven't read these other ones yet but I've seen them recommended. Way of the Superior Man, Sex God Method, Book of Pook.
Meditation. I'm new to this one myself but it is calming. Helps you focus on other aspects of your life too.
This philosophy is about things like Growing a Business or wanting to put 15 Pound of Muscle for competition, not mundane tasks like that.
And for fuck sake, make your bed and brush your teeth you filthy bastard.
/r/RationalMeditation and /r/meditation are good places to start. Meditation comes in many flavors but in straightening out the mind I have found two things work for me. Stoicism: (A Guide to the Good Life, Marcus' Meditations or the Emporor's Handbook: a new translation of the meditation, and the stoic six pack). And mindfulness meditation: vipasana, or breath meditation. Here is a video I like to link but if you don't have an hour the /r/RationalMeditation sub has a link to a short txt document.
The external, factual stuff you write about is to try and fill your internal, vague but unfillable, void.
About self-worth, validation, women, sex and seeking in general (copy/pasting my earlier comment):
> a question that every human being for the last five thousand years (or longer) has asked. How to find fulfilment.
And in a schadenfreude yet ultimately senseless manner, you've already fallen prey to the trap: asking this question makes us unfulfilled. Most already have all they need and allow their mind or peers to make them believe otherwise.
Unhappiness is a side effect of excessive rumination of the past or fears of the future. It's a continuous, self-inflicted change people enforce onto themselves day-in, day-out without even realizing it. Stop thinking and you'll be happy.
Our higher order mental faculties were endowed upon us to solve more complex problems, when using them we will search until we find a problem and then focus on it - this is by design. Ergo it stands to simple reason that unless you believe you have an immediate, life threatening / changing problem, you've no business using your higher faculties.
Doing otherwise launches you into searching for problems until you create one that isn't real & try to solve it ...which is of course impossible since it wasn't real to begin with. The "smarter" a person is, the more restraint & wisdom will be required of them to not excessively associate with their mind, thus inflicting great unhappiness upon themselves.
You fuckers are searching for your phone/keys on the way out of the house when they've been in your hand all along.
It's already in your hand. You don't need to find or figure out anything. You need to stop looking.
I find myself making this recommendation very often lately, read The Power Of Now. Audiobook it if you don't like reading. Listen to it over and over again, until you feel like you're starting to get to the place this book speaks of.
"Bang" by Roosh was my first introduction to pickup and really made everything clear to me. Don't believe the commenter below who says "game is bullshit". It is, to an extent, but as someone who was totally clueless about how to hook up with girls, reading that book about four years ago gave me actionable steps I could follow.
Seconded The Rational Male. The sequel, Preventative Medicine is great as well.
Models by Mark Manson is decent.
http://www.krauserpua.com is very high-level, fascinating stuff, mostly about gaming European girls.
Read more code than you write.
Learn why you're writing these apps. Increased revenue? Decreased costs?
Learn how to read a balance sheet and a cash flow statement.
Never go into business with someone who only brings an idea to the table.
Never be "the coder" in a three person business.
When you're young, people will take advantage of you. Get a mentor, and ask them whenever some tells you these are "standard" contract terms.
Read "Lean Software Development" and "Clean Code."
Learn what a cap table is, and why you should care.
Set up an LLC, a business checking account, and a Quickbooks account.
Get an accountant and a lawyer.
Write an application, a compiler, and a device driver. Raspberry Pi is great for this.
Learn how to deploy apps to AWS and Azure.
Learn about load balancing.
Watch a lot of conference talks on YouTube at 1.5x speed. Slow down for bits you don't understand.
Learn the differences between object-oriented, imperative, functional, and logic programming.
You are also going to want to get into nutrition, a bit of fashion, and philosophy.
Bodybuilding.com- take creatine and some bcaa's
Fashion: Just copy some famous dudes you like initially
Philosophy: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
What's wrong with books?
I've learned an immense amount from Meditations, The 48 Laws of Power, or something like Think and Grow Rich.
To answer the OPs question, I'd start by checking out TIME Magazine's list of histories most influential people. Check off 10 that immediately spark interest. Then add to that list Casanova, Ninon de l'Enclos, and other courtiers.
Dedicate a month to each person, and spend that month reading everything you can get your hands on about them. You'll eventually become to know them as you know a friend; you'll know how they'd act in a certain situation, their body language, their lexicon, etc...
Then, internalize the fact that you've embraced their spirit, and they now live inside you — they are part of you. That is how you inherit the great treasures of the past.
Man's Search for Meaning by Frankl is a timeless book that would be extremely useful for you. Obstacle is the Way by Holiday is another good one on practical application of stoicism.
As for finding hobbies, I think it starts with some experimentation. Try everything and see what you found interesting. It won't be an aha moment.... Real joy in a hobby doesn't come without serious dedication to it. But you should find a natural liking to something.
Telling your feelings to someone isn't BP; rather, being honest in all of your interactions is one of the most RP thing one can accomplish.
This boils down to you playing yourself as someone who you are not to get a girl attracted, now you are worried that if you show your true self that she will not be interested. RP isn't a game to get women attracted to you - it is a methodology to achieve freedom from the feminist expectations that society has placed upon men and achieve what YOU want to do, not everyone else. It happens to have a side effect of getting women attracted to you.
If you want relationship advice, head over to r/marriedredpill as there is much more information on dread game, etc over there. In the future, it is much easier to become the man you are pretending to be in order to get women attracted to you. If you haven't already, would suggest reading Models by Mark Manson - true confidence vs fake confidence.
Models by Mark Mason No More Mr Nice Guy Meditations by Marcus Aurelius How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carneige
After you read Models, maybe "The Game" by Neil Strauss, so you understand where the PUAs are coming from and why TRP is so different and way more effective.
My 2 cents
He's 16, no reason to continue to coddle him.
No More Mr. Nice Guy
The Rational Male
The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine
A Concise introduction to logic, 12th edition by Patrick J. Hurley
What every body is saying by Joe Navarro
The definitive book of body language by Allan and Barbara Pease
The gift of fear by Gavin de Becker
The way of men by Jack Donovan
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Man's Search for meaning
SJWs always lie by Vox Day
How to Cook everything by Mark Bittman
How to cook everything: The basics by Mark Bittman
Starting Strength
The ultimate Sleep guide by Don Colbert,MD
Testshock by Christoper Walker or give him links to the Anabolic Men Blog so he can start maximizing his testosterone when he is still young.
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill
The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work Meditations
Tao Te Ching
The Power of Now
Deliver the Unexpected
Think and Grow Rich ***
http://www.success.com/article/napoleon-hills-17-principles-of-personal-achievement
Honestly, it's all about controlling your thoughts. You learn to see a thought and either keep it or push it away. You must learn to realize that the voice in your head is not necessarily you. Your self-talk is a culmination of what everyone has told you, your media consumption, the influence of the near past. You are the person who can guide those thoughts; that is how you are the driver of your mind.
Simply, just meditate more. Focus less on everyone else. Focus on yourself. Focus on what you can control; whatever you cannot control is a waste to dwell on until such a time which you can affect it.
Thinking too much on the philosophy of life is terrible when you are stuck on negative things. Politics are a whole load of bullshit to waste your mind with. You look at it for what it is if you like but to dwell on it like many do is a hilarious waste of time. Religion... the same. I mean, these things. You must accept reality for what it is. Bitching about it or worrying about it does not change anything. You are in the anger phase of TRP, clearly.
Meditate. Lift heavy things. Eat right. Hang out with people trying to improve themselves. Have a positive mental attitude. Don't be that whiner when you speak and don't be that whiner when you think.